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100 Days of So Damn Much Winning

Posted April 28 by John Birmingham

Hard to believe we're still alive, really:

And so we are one hundred days into Donald Trump’s presidency of laughter and forgetting. The laughter is the deranged cackle of an escaped mental patient hiding in the darkened basement of a Stephen King story. The forgetting is inevitable, because who can keep this shit straight? The alternate facts, the Russian hookers, the amateur oompah band of cosplay Nazis winding their way through the White House kicking out the jams on a 76 trombone cover of old SS dancehall favourites, the early morning tweet storms, the gentle tonguing of Vladimir Putin, Kelly-Anne’s shopping network promo for Ivanka’s failing fashion line, Mike Flynn’s sacking, Steve Bannon’s demonic possession, selfies with the nuclear briefcase guy, and family favours and open bribes from the Chinese government and the transfer of the Situation Room to the outdoor dining lounge at Mar-a-Lago. And all of that is just off the top of my head. With a quick search on el Goog I could fill this whole column with a firehose of craziness, the same way that talking baboon’s anus constantly fills our world with a never-ending toxic gas leak of his brainfarts and crazy uncle conspiracy theories.

As John Oliver said. “Trump hasn't said one crazy thing, he's said thousands of crazy things, each of which blunts the effect of the others.”

4 Responses to ‘100 Days of So Damn Much Winning’

balders mumbles...

Posted April 28
Hey JB,

something broken about the link to

from the cheese, it goes to a blank page and feedly its got a broken URL.

happy long weekend

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted May 1
Thx mate. Sorted.

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jason mumbles...

Posted May 1
If people haven't signed up for Alien Side Boob I would highly recommend you do. I have found it worth every meagre cent just for the huge increase to my vocabulary of insults and abuse. The considered opinion and thought provoking comment are a bonus.

NBlob swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 4
Artisnal rant, it's like what good coffee was 5 years ago.

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BALLS.104 TAKE THAT for data (N*Sync for the eye test)

Posted April 24 into Sport by beeso

The Doc and I talk how wrong we have been already about the NBA, the paralells between WSC and the current debacle happening in netball and how wrong the timing is for a womens sport to be screwing up. Then we laugh at the Knicks again and how even their fans won't buy our Knicks colourway T, before discussing the FA cup, ecenomic terrorism and YOU AIN'T GONNA ROOK US!

2 Responses to ‘BALLS.104 TAKE THAT for data (N*Sync for the eye test)’

NBlob reckons...

Posted May 4
Excuse me for a moment gents.
Economic Growth seems one of a very few measures of an administration. If our economy booms while other comparative nations' flounder it is cause for celebration. If .Au slumps while Canadians & Kiwis prosper we change tenants @ The Lodge.

It seems that every measure, standard, unit or benchmark is beset by those seeking to manipulate in some way for benefit. Remember the Chinese infant formula milk-powder contamination scam? That was people Optimising a % protein assay. VW taught TDi Golfs & Jettas to recognise the test bench and scam the pollution & fuel consumption tests. Bought a Sunbeam product recently? Nobody else has either. Thanks to Al Chainsaw Dunlop manipulating Corporate Performance measures. GFC was largely clever dicks manipulating credit ratings. For every Standard Measure there seems those who seek to manipulate it to their benefit.

I'm wondering what percent of Economic Growth, as measured by GDP, is new things made by clever people and how much is projections, models, speculative estimations. Like rice collectives in Mao's China It is in the interests of everyone, from entrepreneur to the Government of the Day for the most aspirational estimates to be locked in as firm forecasts. How will decades of cumulative optimism affect our economy?

NBlob ducks in to say...

Posted May 4
It would seem I dismiss the intangible, as if an idea was somehow less valuable than a thing. It is obvious that a thing of beauty and usefulness is an idea, or many ideas made tangible. Yet they are different. A thing has a reality, that the promise in an idea lacks.

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BALLS After Dark.88 It's not brain surgery

Posted April 21 into Music by beeso

In which Beeso and the Doc review classic Rocket Science, new Goldfrapp and Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears, and get into how Oils ain't oils, politics isn't worth a half eaten bag of chips, vale John Clarke, things that are about 100 metres, Daggumentaries, farnarkling, Goldeneyeing, homeopathy, Beats Mode, spaced jams, the official rapper of white thinkpiece writers on twitter, comeback acts, colour and movement and stupidity. Next week: Spoon, Damien Cowell's Disco Machine and mid-'90s Dave Graney and the Coral Snakes. This, next and last week's albums are on our Spotify playlist (note to self: it's your last week to go back and listen to last week's albums) with our faves of 2017 repping on the After Dark Mixtape.

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BALLS After Dark.87 Everything new is old again

Posted April 12 into Music by beeso

The Battle Of The 'The' Bands (c. 2002), having a stadium rock attitude on a pub rock budget, writing for clubs, dissecting the Splendour lineup and designing festivals for washed-up Gen X parents. This week we review new albums by Satan Takes A Holiday and Pulled Apart By Horses and a 2001 classic by Groove Armada. Next week: Goldfrapp, Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears and Contact High by Rocket Science (2001). This, last and next week's albums are all on our Spotify playlist.

You can subscribe on your podast player of choice or listen below

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Put out your gonads for Mr John Clarke

Posted April 11 into Blunty by John Birmingham

I was very sad to hear John Clarke passed away. A great loss to the nation. An even bigger loss to farnarkling. A tribute at Blunty:

Farnarkling lost a champion yesterday, with the passing of Mr John Clarke. The veteran broadcaster was not just the voice of the national sport, but a much-loved ambassador to the powerhouses of the perfect game as far away as Bad Odursburg and Middlefart.

Play at the 'G in Launceston, where Australia and Uzbekistan contended fiercely for a quarter-final slot in the Far Eastern Cup, was interrupted for the traditional 49 seconds of mumbled Celtic mourning chants in the original Old Icelandic.

9 Responses to ‘Put out your gonads for Mr John Clarke’

WarDog reckons...

Posted April 11
Clarke's passing makes me sadder than I can express.
I will sorely miss him. His interview was the highlight of my week.

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insomniac mumbles...

Posted April 11
Yes, very sad. My formative years watching John Clarke were in his Fred Dagg phase. Later it was his work with Bryan Dawe. Always enjoyable. I had a quiet mumble of the Gumboot Song this morning in tribute.

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Lulu mumbles...

Posted April 11
What WarDog said.

And also, isn't it nice to find out that someone whose work I admired was an all-round really nice guy as well, going by the comments of those who knew him.

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FormerlyKnownAsSimon is gonna tell you...

Posted April 11
I'd go as far to say the man was a giant - his talent removed leaves a hole that will be very hard to fill. Although i may have to quit working where i do - i heard the news and blurted it out to my coworkers and not one of the philistines knew his name.

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Bondiboy66 asserts...

Posted April 11
Very sad news. I too recall Fred Dagg when I was young, and his work with Brian Dawe has been a joy to watch. Who can forget his turn as the voice of Wal Footrot? He'll be sorely missed.

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pi ducks in to say...

Posted April 11
A sad day.

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Barnesm ducks in to say...

Posted April 11
My favourite piece of his was 'the great Australian novel'

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Dave W would have you know...

Posted April 12
Yes. All of the above. Although, is it wrong to ask that when it's time for me, I go as perfectly as Mt Abrupt?

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Surtac mumbles...

Posted April 12
Yep, all of the above squared.

That was a lovely tribute, John. Probably too subtle for most of the BT demographic, sadly.

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BALLS.102 Super Rugby: now 3/18ths less Super than advertised

Posted April 10 into Sport by beeso

In which Beeso and the Doc get into drinking on holiday, learning tracks with Jacques, off-field spending, the Doc's diatribe, words without pictures, lapsed code fans, the Sportress' bad couple of decades, the roles of development leagues, European rugby, poor governance and pay TV in the absolute state of Super Duper Rugby, the other other (other) Tony Martin, the fable of the Brumbies, the tedium of code wars, corporate raiders, one-sport kids, Western Conference bracketology, Billy Donovan's party piece, Spurs picking their spots, DNP-Schedule, the Chris Paul Clause, LeBron wants you to know how much he doesn't care, taking offense at the MVP debate, East playoff matchups, why Fear The Deer?, reintegrating superstars, DPOY CBF, why SEN isn't short for SENsible and how the Ringer is failing Grantland's analytical legacy. After a week off due to biblical flooding, we had a lot to cover.

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