Cheeseburger Gothic

West End Growing Pains

Posted April 12, 2016 into Blunty by beeso

Governments in QLD have the architectural responsibility from changing Brisbane from a big version of Gympie to a modern working city. Sometimes they get it wrong.

At BLUNTY

3 Responses to ‘West End Growing Pains’

NBlob ducks in to say...

Posted April 12, 2016

"Let all men know how empty and worthless is the power of kings {& moral outrage} for there is none of that name but god {and property developers}, whom heaven and earth and sea obey. King Knut 995-1035

There are examples of the densification of population that work well for all affected, the shop-keep gets more customers, the transport infrastructure works betterer and residents get somewhere pleasant & appropriate to live with space for art & community & play and and and. However this requires considerable involvement (see $) by planning authorities; community engagement, collaborative design, greenspacing and creativity aint free you know. Far cheaper & easier to throw it to the developers and trust The Market to sort it out.

Unfortunately The Market is driven by ROI, not liveability.

Respond to this comment

Des is gonna tell you...

Posted April 12, 2016
As a southsider, it occurred to me only the other day that there are two refuges left for the fringe dwellers of my era (and i include myself in that category), namely West End, and the humble but earthy Stones Corner, which perhaps of all the inner city hubs, is least affected by the anonymous modern makeovers which have rendered places like Balmoral and New Farm so stultifyingly dull. I note though that this last bastion is about to be overwhelmed by the tide, with a number of high rise apartment complexes going up between there and the Wooloongabba five ways. Brisbane has become one of the most atomised and disconnected places i have experienced, and i live close to the 'thick' of things. it will only get worse.

Respond to this comment

Des puts forth...

Posted April 12, 2016
the shortsightedness of town planning has its living embodiment in the large but young fig tree outside the Stones Corner pub. locals of a certain age will remember it replaced a rather hideous hourglass fountain, built in the early seventies...on the site of a large old fig tree, which and stood there since the 19th century.

Respond to this comment

Respond to 'West End Growing Pains'

That time I smoked cones with a blue koala

Posted April 4, 2016 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Sometimes, you just gotta go early to catch the news.

“Dude, seriously, let me pack that cone. You got no thumbs.”

Borobi squinted at me through the thick haze of weed smoke.

“Don’t patronise me, JB,” he muttered. “I’m special now, bro. You gotta show some respect.”

But he was already three buckets into the wind and it took him a long time time to say this, what with all the coughing and wheezing getting distracted by his breakfast beer.

He necked the last half of the beer in one long pull, belched enormously, and fell back against the front of the brown couch. Traffic roared past outside our flat at Nobby’s but Rob’ didn’t hear it. He just lay there on the floor contentedly drumming his fat, greasy paws on the matted and filthy blue fur of his grossly distended belly.

At Blunty.

9 Responses to ‘That time I smoked cones with a blue koala’

Quokka mutters...

Posted April 4, 2016
A shame they didn't choose the mountain possum on 'roids.

Respond to this comment

Dave W is gonna tell you...

Posted April 4, 2016
See, this is what happens when you don't crowd-source your mascot or its name.

Respond to this comment

pitpat mutters...

Posted April 4, 2016
And people say we don't do classy.At least it isn't subtle.

Respond to this comment

pitpat mutters...

Posted April 4, 2016
And people say we don't do classy.At least it isn't subtle.Maybe seen as a bit of a liability once his addictions become more widely known, even less so once his lack of sexual health is revealed.

Respond to this comment

JG has opinions thus...

Posted April 4, 2016
Well I'm shocked, Borobi. You looked so light, fit, and fresh faced on the news tonight. It's a pity I missed you dropping in at Burleigh Heads as I was swimming at that very spot yesterday, and running past there this afternoon. I like your big ears and bright blue look, and I can't believe you're a sloth. No, I won't believe JB. You are too nimble and fast moving, Borobi. I can't believe you are a slothful koala unless I see it for myself. Joanna



Respond to this comment

Adam Denny ducks in to say...

Posted April 4, 2016
Them Bucket Minions huddle in the shadowing backstreets behind San Francisco tenement buildings, the only thing that pisses them off when some out of the towner reckons there's some cos playing girl trapped inside the fur. That golden medical marijuana card clutched between their jaws just begging to be stolen, so you as well can get ripped enough to reckon maybe The Phantom Menace wasn't so bad after all. Only those jaws come down, and the snort of surrounding giggles is loud enough to block the sound of tourist screaming. Then the Bucket Minions pass the Bong Trooper Helmet, for your pain to melllow while they find recompense in your wallet. Next thing you know your back on Market Street, them minions be gone.

Respond to this comment

Bondiboy66 swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 5, 2016
What the fuck is it about Big Games like the Olympics/Commonwealth Games that they have to have one or more positively ridiculous mascots? Often looking like the product of a big night on the piss and charlie from some second rate ad firm's art department...what, they think they are going to flog off more merchandise with the daft mascot included (possibly making enough to pay off the overpriced ad co.s art department)?

Oh, and I dunno whats up with the BT comments thing...but it don't work for me.

Respond to this comment

GhostSwirv reckons...

Posted April 5, 2016
So the Navy had to winch Robbo into position for the presser cos he was toooooo maggoted to move off the couch under his own steam - I just wanna know how you got home JB, an UBER hovercraft or did you simply wait till Robbo was airlifted to safety before dropping the clutch and driving your self-drive couch home to the burbs?

Respond to this comment

dweeze puts forth...

Posted April 5, 2016
Bring back "Fatso, the fat arsed wombat".

Respond to this comment

Respond to 'That time I smoked cones with a blue koala'

He's not the messiah. He's a bricklayer

Posted March 29, 2016 into Blunty by John Birmingham

With half a billion dollars. Or not:

Maybe the pile of unpaid bills on the kitchen bench isn't getting any smaller. Maybe you only half-fill the petrol tank to save on burning fuel driving the weight of a full tank around. Maybe, like me, you have on occasion resorted to shamelessly feeding yourself from the free samples at the supermarket on a Saturday morning.

But by god, if Lucky Phil can pull this off, so can we. And unlike the real crooks, who are all listed on the stock exchange, we won't hide our well-gotten gains in some shady offshore account. We'll put it on the keycard, openly, honestly. All 600 million dollars of it.

Because, you know, wow.

At Blunty.

8 Responses to ‘He's not the messiah. He's a bricklayer’

NBlob puts forth...

Posted March 29, 2016
For 600 million dollars I'm willing to give hard, honest work a go."
Coughbullshitcough


John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted March 29, 2016
I said six hundred million. Not five hundred million.

Respond to this thread

Dave W has opinions thus...

Posted March 29, 2016
Maybe the account was in Zambian Kwacha. We were squillionaires for a couple of days when we visited, although K8000 for a fanta took some of the edge off it.

Lulu has opinions thus...

Posted March 29, 2016
The closest I've had to your kwacha experience was in Hungary in 2010, when the exchange rate was about 200 forint to A$1.00. First time I drew money from an ATM was in Budapest, & I got a 10,000 HUF note.

insomniac would have you know...

Posted March 29, 2016
And I thought paying $28 for coke in Hong Kong was bad.

LikeABus has opinions thus...

Posted March 29, 2016
$28 for coke. Bargain! I paid $300 for half a gram over the weekend.

Dave W swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted March 30, 2016
Mrs W went to the ATM, got scared at the zeros and withdrew about K50,000. Which was enough to pay for a snack and drink. Sent her back to the ATM.

Halwes reckons...

Posted March 31, 2016
300 BUCKS? Haven't you heard. The synthetic stuff is the go now. $ 25 They see god and the devil simultaneously and get fully funded accommodation for a lifetime. Thank god for prohibition. No more reefer madness. It's safe now because it's synthetic.

Respond to this thread

Respond to 'He's not the messiah. He's a bricklayer'

Carob Nazis

Posted March 22, 2016 into Blunty by beeso

Do you want the carob nazis to end civilisation? Well, do you?

At Blunty...

13 Responses to ‘Carob Nazis’

Lulu ducks in to say...

Posted March 22, 2016
I have a question for the Queenslanders. If rabbits are a prohibited / pest species in your great state, who brings the kids their chocolate eggs? The Easter Guinea Pig?

NBlob swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted March 22, 2016
Cassowary

Respond to this thread

FormerlyKnownAsSimon ducks in to say...

Posted March 22, 2016
to avoid accusations of invalid arguments due to godwins law can we update the reference using alliteration: Carob Caliphate?

Respond to this comment

insomniac asserts...

Posted March 22, 2016
I usually send my kids chocolate eggs, except now there is a third generation, and only just starting to eat, so I bought a boxed egg with a hard plastic shell, removed the egg from its wrapper and substituted chocolate custard baby food in its place prior to sending it off across the country. My daughter is obviously waiting for Easter to open the egg for the little one as she hasn't mentioned it yet, and ms insomniac only just asked me what happened to the chocolate egg itself. I of course pleaded ignorance and refused to answer her wild and spurious accusations.
Also, I once was given a hard candy egg, sometime in the 70s. It was not a happy day.

Respond to this comment

DarrenBloomfield reckons...

Posted March 22, 2016
My 5 yo does not like chocolate*. I try. I give him eggs every Easter. He embraces them enthusiastically... but inevitably they get thrown out after a week of sitting, nibbled at best, unwrapped at worst, beside his bed.

At least now he has a little brother that will eat them for him this year.

*I have failed as a parent, haven't I?

insomniac ducks in to say...

Posted March 22, 2016
Some kids are just born that way, so no failure as yet. Consider the following:
My 15 yo does not like girls. I try. I give him girls every Easter.
He embraces them enthusiastically... but inevitably they get thrown out
after a week of sitting, nibbled at best, unwrapped at worst, beside his
bed.
That would be failure as a parent, or possibly legendary.

Respond to this thread

ShaneAlpha ducks in to say...

Posted March 22, 2016
Eldest nephew and niece have asked for their chocolate eggs to be donated to the poor, the sanctimonious little shits. Can't buy extra for the younger nephews as other sister doles them out to them like she's working for the DSS under Toned Abs. So, fuck 'em, I think I'll just ask myself, what would Dave do?

Respond to this comment

dweeze asserts...

Posted March 22, 2016
It is made from the dirt that the source of real chocolate, the cacao tree, is grown in. Much the same as decaf coffee is made from the dirt under the coffee plant.

Respond to this thread

Rob swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted March 22, 2016
Back when I was a Catholic child,( you know when your parents are staunch Catholics and you are made one too, even though you prefer that your parents were Jedi) I used to love Easter and Christmas the midnight mass, the good Friday stuff, Passover , the Easter bunny leaving bunny fluff, paw prints and carrot leavings left around the house. And the chocolate, a fat suburban kids dream. But then I became an atheist and for some reason the chocolate doesn't taste as sweet without the catholic guilt associated with the pain of a man being nailed to a tree for being different. or a hippy, I forget.

Respond to this comment

Ghostswirv mutters...

Posted March 22, 2016
I think Lano and Woodley represented the true spirit of the Easter Bunny best - I'd post the link but I always stuff it up.

Check it out on YouTube but make sure you have a mouthful of chocolate first - just to better enjoy the delight and joy on the faces of the children.

Respond to this comment

JG would have you know...

Posted March 22, 2016
Real chocolate for me. I confess to having started eating Easter eggs a week ago. Once again, I bought them too early and gave into temptation.
I wish companies wouldn't wreck colourful Easter eggs with their logos printed all over the foil. I'm sure Easter eggs of old used to have gorgeous patterned foil without brand selling over entire egg wrappers.

FormerlyKnownAsSimon is gonna tell you...

Posted March 23, 2016
A week ago? I'm sure i was eating them a week after christmas

Respond to this thread

Respond to 'Carob Nazis'

Senator Boxhead

Posted March 8, 2016 into Blunty by beeso

Is The Brick with Eyes, Boxhead and Big Mal really worse for democracy then Bernadi, Bishop and Bullock?

At Blunty....

2 Responses to ‘Senator Boxhead’

Nocturnalist would have you know...

Posted March 8, 2016
Answering Insomniac's comment over there, I read recently that Michaelia Cash got fewer primary votes than Ricky Muir did, and she's now a Cabinet Minister.

Respond to this comment

pi puts forth...

Posted March 8, 2016
If the brief-lived political career of Mal Meninga is any guide, it's a bit of a step-down in the accountability-stakes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dt--SGmIKIQ

Living proof that some ex-footballers have more integrity than your average political hack. He couldn't bullshit for more than 28 seconds. You could do worse.

Respond to this comment

Respond to 'Senator Boxhead'

I have a job for the Police Minister

Posted March 1, 2016 into Blunty by John Birmingham

At Blunty...

I'm sure that like the Police Minister we have all "occasionally used firearms to dispose of vermin from residential properties at various times". And if we have not, I'm sure we have all occasionally wished that such a thing were possible. Possums, rats, Mormons, there are very few annoyances that cannot be profitably addressed by a couple of rounds of buckshot.

(Not being as sure on the trigger as the Dead-Eye Dick currently polishing the ministerial leather for the Police Service, I would opt for a generous spread of shot, rather than pin-point accuracy, were this state's ridiculous laws against discharging firearms within the home not so outrageously restrictive.)

2 Responses to ‘I have a job for the Police Minister’

Dave W asserts...

Posted March 1, 2016
I always thought that when a Qld police minister uses the expression vermin, they weren't referring to rodents or toads. I thought it was hippies and students. Or is this a throw-back to a more Bjelkian times?

Respond to this comment

jason asserts...

Posted March 1, 2016
Urban Myth busted.
I thought Elvis was just shooting TVs in a peanut butter and cooking oil induced haze. Turns out he had just opened a pest control business and was shooting the varmints around his house. Just a pity he was a bad shot.

Respond to this comment

Respond to 'I have a job for the Police Minister'