Cheeseburger Gothic

The shandies are Havoc strong at Network Ten

Posted January 19, 2016 into Blunty by John Birmingham

The bosses at Network Ten must have partied a little too hard when all that extra ad revenue came in from the Big Bash League.

It's OK. I understand. If I had just kicked three kinds of hell out of the arrogant tools at Nine, after years getting corn-holed by them, I'd totally drink my own body weight in vodka shambles and dive nude into a mountain of top-shelf cocaine. But that's me. I'm sure the execs at Ten just shared a quick round of shandies which, after decades of running last and making do with less and less, went straight to their thick heads.

How else to explain holding back the rebooted X-Files for a week after it airs in the US? Perhaps they own a piece of BitTorrent?


At Blunty.

11 Responses to ‘The shandies are Havoc strong at Network Ten’

Therbs is gonna tell you...

Posted January 19, 2016
In a decade there'll be all sorts of theories on why FTA network television became extinct. Eager Media Studies grad students working on PhD's will churn through millions of words about the internet tar pits, comets and viruses. It is this sort of thinking displayed by Ten which will fuel their battles for ever diminishing academic funds.

HAVOCK21 puts forth...

Posted January 19, 2016
its because they had no PORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!PRON AND WHATEVER SO I AM TOLD!!

Respond to this thread

DarrenBloomfield has opinions thus...

Posted January 19, 2016
It's just disrepectful of the audience it claims to want to satisfy. The fucktards

Respond to this comment

w from brisbane ducks in to say...

Posted January 19, 2016
While I agree with what JB said, it seems a little odd to me that people can't wait a week. It's childish.

DarrenBloomfield puts forth...

Posted January 19, 2016
*stamps foot* "But I want it NOW!"
how is that childish?

Respond to this thread

Surtac ducks in to say...

Posted January 19, 2016

I'll be doing my usual thing of waiting for the dvd set, though if it turns up on Netflix or Stan, I might be tempted to adopt one of those streaming services to get at it earlier.

We have VDSL2 here at Chateau Dysfunction these days so bandwidth isn't the issue it used to be. And thanks to the good offices of a friend who loaned me her credentials,I know Stan works here.


Respond to this comment

Blarkon is gonna tell you...

Posted January 19, 2016
So a bunch of FOMO thieves can't fucking wait?

Respond to this comment

HAVOCK21 is gonna tell you...

Posted January 19, 2016
AND LETS BE REALISTIC..ITS THE x FILES ffsakes!....wahts ta fkn like APART FROM tHINKING MANS CRUMPET!

Lulu is gonna tell you...

Posted January 20, 2016
DD, aka thinking woman's crumpet?

Respond to this thread

NBlob is gonna tell you...

Posted January 19, 2016
10 have <allegedly> dropped Bolt as well. Wonder if it was at the same meeting

Respond to this comment

Sudragon swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted January 19, 2016
It's the whole 'spoiler' thing.

Respond to this comment

Respond to 'The shandies are Havoc strong at Network Ten'

Until men change, nothing will

Posted January 12, 2016 into Blunty by John Birmingham

At Blunty. Always a tricky one to write when there's a live legal case:

The psychology of random sneak attacks is the psychopathology of manhood gone wrong and Green is the sort of man who can show others that Simone de Beauvoir was mistaken, that men don't need to find self-affirmation in their fists. It doesn't mean renouncing his professional history as a boxer, but rather foregrounding it. There is a lot of unhinged bullshit floating around the construction of modern masculinity; from the high-pitched whine and special pleading of the Men's Rights movement to the paleo-intellectualism of repackaged red meat and rape fantasies of that sad little movement's daffier micro-celebrities. Hard men like Green are uniquely placed to undermine that crap.

As long as some men feel masculine worth can only be found in aggression and dominance they will walk the streets to deliver on their belief, feeling in their fists the reassurance of their sovereignty. They will prey on the weak, because they are weak.

Of all the things we will talk about when we talk about the death of Cole Miller few will get to the heart of why men do this, to each other, to women and children, to anyone they think they can beat down. Lockouts, licensing restrictions, the criminal code and punishment regimes, they all have their part to play. But until men change, nothing will.

Had me a small taste of the Men Rights movement's special brand o' online love last week, after writng about Chris Gayle, Jamie Briggs et al. They really do live on red meat and rape fantasies.

15 Responses to ‘Until men change, nothing will’

Murphy_of_Missouri would have you know...

Posted January 12, 2016
At my last active duty unit in Korea the bonding exercise was to slap people on the neck or in the back of the head as hard as possible when they weren't looking. I managed to make it to my eighth month before a Sergeant did it to me.

Very nearly struck my first NCO. He wanted to shake on it, say it was cool.

My response was, "Fuck you."

Never said another word to that man again unless duty required it.

Respond to this comment

DarrenBloomfield mutters...

Posted January 12, 2016
Christmas Eve 1988. I was a 21 year old national standard athlete out with my two best mates celebrating the festive season (read, getting thoroughly trashed on Jim Beam and coke) in sleepy Hobart Town. The quest for a late night taxi home saw me and my mate exchange harsh words with a couple of other guys as to who was first in line.
I was king hit from behind, went down, was kicked in the face on the ground.
Fortunately we were at the Liverpool St cab rank, literally spitting distance to the Royal Hobart Hospital. My mate dragged me to the emergency room. Concussion, broken nose, depressed cheekbone, loose teeth. It don't look and feel like it does in the movies...
I had cause to remember that night long ago when I read some of the crap written about this Brisbane guy - "what was a supposedly 'elite athlete' doing out out on the piss". I copped the same speech from my coach. I was lucky enough to be alive to cop the spray. This kid's parents would give the world to be able to be in position to tell him off for being out...
The other reason I remembered that night was because it was only last month I had surgery to fix the deviated septum and other issues resulting from that attack.
I thank my lucky stars I got off lightly. Lots of poor bastards haven't, and won't.

Respond to this comment

HAVOCK21 swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted January 12, 2016
I looked at this and almost straight away began typing, then I thought some more. I thought I had a handle on it, you know, change the grog laws, the hours of night clubs being open and the likes and make for tougher sentencing, but that’s not really going to cure it all…is it.Then, I wondered about history. I know from growing up in a country town that Friday and Saturday night were on the grog at the pub and there would be several fights, they then get broken up and the occupants sent on their respective ways and once they were down…well that was it. And that’s now utopia from a fight perspective, because if you go down now there is every real possibility you will continue to have pain put upon you.
So I have some questions:
Why do we have night clubs open until 0500 hours, is it really necessary to have people full of piss and Christ knows what else out drinking at that time. I mean we place restrictive laws on drivers and the likes….why not perhaps ban persons of a certain age from being OUT AT CLUBS after a time point. I ‘m just tossing this out there its off the top of the head mind you.What’s the trend…I mean, how many people were king hit and hospitalise 20 years ago, 30 years ago, can we put the line again the line for the creep of closing times etc…is there any correlation between the two? I’m not sure, but I have not really seen to date studies in that area.The one punch…yes it need to have a greater visible TV ? and social cost attached to it in my opinion and that’s jail time.
I also think FWIW that jail needs to be less of club med and more…hard time IMHO, but that’s a later day topic.Sport, let’s go nuts on the footy field…you don’t see it happening in cricket or golf , so there is no need for it to happen in sport and the penalties need to be much much harsher…throwing punches that is. The simple fact remains in sport, that in contact sport in particular we tolerate too much violence and punching. If a player takes a swing and is off the ground for ten minutes, make no mistake….they will stop throwing punches. If they repeat offend make the penalties greater again. They will stop!UFC- what a great ambassador that one is for controlling violence, let’s have all young kids and Muppet’s try emulate those retards.
Its violence…washing over kids and we all already know what happens there. Let’s toss in video games….yep violent too. Who’s responsible….lets tag the parents and for mine to a large extent they area. So whilst we are on this topic let’s look at the violence associated with raising children, and I am referring to smacking a child, physical discipline. Its waaaaaaay taboo now, but how many kids can we now collectively point too that lack discipline and generally run amok flat fkn out. I would suggest that the level of discipline and manners in the community as a whole is far shittier than it used to be. Is the manners and discipline thing, matching with say video games, TV level violence, UFC and the likes all melting together to help create these issues, they then sit there waiting for the final brew to be dropped in perhaps grog? And poof the person lets fly.
If we change some of these now accepted norms… will it have an impact, given societies gravitation towards instant gratification in great results I am not sure we could suffer the longer waiting period for a generational shift in attitude, that’s not to suggest for a minute I am a proponent of the “ do nothing stance” or its “ going to take a long time so let’s shelve it”. No, we need to take steps and they need to be long, medium and short term as well.

insomniac asserts...

Posted January 12, 2016
Lockout laws appear to be working in Kings Cross and Newcastle. You can guarantee that if the clubs are bitching about it, they must be working.
Agree that clubs shouldn't be open until 5am. Who needs to be out drinking until then anyhoo.
One thing missing is public transport. Trains stop at 1am or whatever. Masses of people affected by alcohol spilling out of the clubs after that have no easy options to get home. Keeping the trains running all night on Friday and Saturday should eliminate half the problem.

Respond to this thread

Lulu is gonna tell you...

Posted January 12, 2016
insomniac, Melbourne has just started all night public transport on the weekends, as of 1st Jan

insomniac reckons...

Posted January 12, 2016
Excellent.
Now, Victoria, if you are still listening, I'd like a couple of million in small unmarked bills delivered to ...

Respond to this thread

JBtoo asserts...

Posted January 12, 2016
Thank goodness for men like you - and Chris Rogers and Wil Anderson and Phil Cleary and, I'm happy to say, I could go on - who speak out and give me some hope.

Respond to this comment

NBlob puts forth...

Posted January 12, 2016
Mandatory &/or tougher sentences = utter fail. For lots of reasons, but most obvious is the state of Californian prisons after introducing the 3 strikes policy.
I only go Out about 4 or 5 times a year, always to an event; a band I want to see or celebrating something. I limit myself to 3 drinks, maintain a state of watchful loathing and go home ASAP. Out is now the niche for halfwits, deadsh!ts and dropkicks. Why would I pay triple for drinks, rub shoulders with arsehats, be extorted for a taxi home & risk violence done to my person?
I understand "white flight" and recognise that as each normal person avoids nightclubs the C*ckhead to human ratio climbs, but like many many things it is outside of my capacity to influence.

John Birmingham mutters...

Posted January 12, 2016
You are wise in these matters, Obi Wan.

Respond to this thread

McKinneyTexas has opinions thus...

Posted January 13, 2016
Since this is a serious topic, I'll drop my other aliases. I disagree that it is a 'male' problem, any more than rape is a 'male' problem. Munchhausen Syndrome isn't a 'female' problem because it afflicts women, it is a disorder.

We are talking about a small subset of the male population that takes pleasure in surprise attacks specifically calculated to avoid a fair fight. Several pathologies combine to this end, including elements of psychopathy and disassociative tendencies and who knows what else--ask a competent shrink. Taking a step back, even someone who leaves the house looking for an ostensibly fair fight has major issues. Desiring to inflict pain, to physically dominate someone else implies all kinds of things about that person, all of which are mental health issues.

I'm not making a pitch for sympathy or even empathy for the perps. A first class, hospitalization-required ass whipping is all good and fine with me. Followed by a nice stretch in a not-fun unit somewhere where the day time temp exceeds 100 F routinely.

Men don't need to change. They need to fix the MF's who do this kind of thing. They need to be 'men.'

Murphy_of_Missouri reckons...

Posted January 13, 2016
This.

NBlob asserts...

Posted January 13, 2016
Yeah, but no. I'd grant that a minority of men end up in a scene as terrible as this, but I do believe there is a culture problem.
Why is it that 20,000 people each year in the U.S. resolve disagreements with gunplay?
I am one of the most chilled individuals you are likely to meet. I go out of my way to see the story from the other guy's perspective. I subscribe to Dr Karl's theory that "if you ain't trying to kill me, off you go & good luck to you." I don't suffer road rage, shopping trolley rage, even the type A f*cknuckles I deal with @ work I bear very little animosity to, yet even I 3 or 4 times in the last decade have wanted to f*ck over some mouth breather for disrespecting my wife / daughter.
Not an Aceptable response.
Violence begats violence & ruins lives. We should be past this by now, like we are past miasma & feudalism.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted January 13, 2016
Why is it that 20,000 people each year in the U.S. resolve disagreements with gunplay?

Because they can?

[W]e are past miasma & feudalism.

Yeah, but both are getting the band back together for a worldwide comeback tour.

Respond to this thread

Rob reckons...

Posted January 13, 2016

My sons are regularly harassed when out and about in Hobart. I was too when I was a teen in New Zealand. It worries me that I will have to go to the hospital to pick up my kids after a night out. But the roundhouse king hits thing is utterly bizarre. When I was younger, you might come out of a fight with a fat lip or black eye. (or two black eyes, thank you skinhead) but now kids go for the cerebellum, hit as hard as possible with no thought for the consequences. I knew you could kill someone when I was 18 and how easy it could happen. We had friends hospitalised all the time, after beings stomped on, kicked when down, etc. But this behaviour just reeks of nihilism about life or other peoples lives. Nothing to live for, your life doesn't matter and neither does anyone else.

Respond to this comment

jason puts forth...

Posted January 14, 2016
To me this just emphasizes the fact that while we believe we are evolved humans and we have the intellectual capacity to put a man on the moon we are sub consciously still cavemen. Reading these posts there are numerous examples of people who are decent caring human beings that advocate violence against the perpetrators or admit to having stepped over the line previously. And I am as guilty as the next man. I don't think we need to change, we need to evolve as a species.

Respond to this comment

Respond to 'Until men change, nothing will'

O Christmas ham. A tale of love and hatred

Posted January 5, 2016 into Blunty by John Birmingham

At Blunty:

Oh Christmas ham, how did it come to this?

Why does it always come to this between us?

How well I recall our early days together. The promise they held. The excitement at just being around you. I said my love for you would never die, Christmas ham, and I spoke the truth as I then felt it. I could speak no other.

And Christmas ham, we were so good together, weren't we? Even now, when everything has gone so wrong between us, I can still recognise that there was a time, there was a place, they mattered and meant that there was love in the world. My love for you, Christmas ham.

Oh yes, I know others said it would not last. Some were even cruel enough to say I was not man enough for you and that you, Christmas ham were … well, let's get it out there. Too big.

Be sure to enjoy the first comment.

23 Responses to ‘O Christmas ham. A tale of love and hatred’

insomniac would have you know...

Posted January 5, 2016
We are nearing the end of our first ham.
There are rules you know.
1. In addition to making slices for sandwiches, you must also carve off extra ham for nibbling on whilst making said sandwiches.
2. When one is sick of ham, a ham hangover of sorts, one must push on with more ham. A 'hair of the pig' type treatment.
Also, would you be saying the same thing if it was Christmas bacon?

dweeze puts forth...

Posted January 5, 2016
Just yesterday, we polished off the second ham for the season. 2 separate family gorge-fests, 1 kelpie that now looks like a walrus and no partridges in the pear tree. Then I looked in the fridge and saw, you guessed it, ham number 3. Damn you fat brother and your gifts of cured pig...

she_jedi asserts...

Posted January 5, 2016
OMG if such a thing as Christmas bacon existed I would be doomed! Although, surely it's bacon season year round?

Respond to this thread

Nocturnalist has opinions thus...

Posted January 5, 2016
Never had that problem. A few days after Christmas we'd bust out one of those monstrous clunky hand-wound mincing machines, bolt it to the kitchen bench and feed the rest of the ham and turkey into it, a slice of each going in at the same time. The resulting hybrid mince would go to making a big stack of rissoles, eaten hot for dinner that night and then snacked on cold for the next couple of days. Food of the actual gods.

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted January 5, 2016
This is my future.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted January 5, 2016
Turkey and ham mince? What a great idea.

WA n'ker asserts...

Posted January 6, 2016
Wrap up your left overs, skin and bone in glad wrap and put in freezer. For winter's, first pea and ham soup!

Respond to this thread

Therbs asserts...

Posted January 5, 2016
More beer! More prok!

Respond to this comment

Dave W mumbles...

Posted January 5, 2016
I'm still excited about our 2nd half leg of Christmas ham. The only question I have is why we don't have these delightful things all year 'round.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted January 5, 2016
That's like asking why we can't have Cipro whenever we get sick. Because that would ruin it, that's why.

insomniac has opinions thus...

Posted January 5, 2016
Still, it would be an important experiment to undertake.

Respond to this thread

axle reckons...

Posted January 5, 2016
has anyone heard of "hamicide".. it is what happens when you go too far. Many people have committed this year after year without remorse

Dave W has opinions thus...

Posted January 5, 2016
Hamicide- the victimless crime.

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted January 5, 2016
What are you, some sort of commie, Comrade Boylanski?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted January 6, 2016
If, by "commie" you mean Communist, then I protest that defamatory accusation. I am a Marxist. There is a difference.


w from brisbane asserts...

Posted January 6, 2016
PNB, your Marxism is wonderfully evident in much of your online work. As the great man once said, "If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham." Groucho Marx.

Dave W reckons...

Posted January 6, 2016
I thought he was referring to that other Marx, whose #1 singles provide such important and provocative messages like "Endless Summer Nights" and "Right Here Waiting". Richard Marx.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted January 6, 2016
Richard Marx is delightfully dull, I'll give him that, but only that. Groucho is the Marx that precedes my "ist."

Sudragon mumbles...

Posted January 6, 2016
Outside of a dog, a Ham is man's best friend. Inside of a dog is all the ham it can get away with begging for...

Respond to this thread

Therbs is gonna tell you...

Posted January 6, 2016

Paul, Karl was more the most unfunny Marx Brother (including Gummo). While filming the famous "Contract" scene from 'Night At The Opera' Karl was ejected from the MGM lot.

Driftwood (Groucho): It's all right, that's in every contract. That's what they call the 'Sanity Clause'.

Fiorello (Chico): Ha ha ha ha ha! You can't fool me! There ain't no Sanity Clause!

Karl: But in the modern system of private ownership and the division of labour the worker is estranged from his essential source of identity...

Director: Cut! Get that idiot off the set!


Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted January 7, 2016
Mate, you're the best.

A bit of trivia: Leon Trotsky, while in exile and prior to his assassination in Mexico, spent time in Hollywood and had a part in a silent film called My Official Wife. Many credible historians believe that it was Lenin's personal outrage over Trotsky's bad acting that prompted the push to kill him.

Respond to this thread

JG is gonna tell you...

Posted January 12, 2016
Oh yeah. Christmas ham. Love it, and I loved your entertaining love affair with ham Blunty article, JB. Haha. You could be Homer himself, only smarter. Also, you don't have his yellow gut.

Respond to this comment

Respond to 'O Christmas ham. A tale of love and hatred'

It's not mob rule. It's mob genuine expression of concern

Posted December 22, 2015 into Blunty by John Birmingham

The local paper - an actual paper, The Courier Mail - has been rubbing itself all over the Baden-Clay murder case here in Brisbane. Or it was a murder, until the Court of Appeal decided there wasn't enough evidence of premeditation to carry a murder verdict and dropped the convictiction to manslaughter. It upset a lot of people, but excited the sales department at the Courier which spotted an issue perfectly calibrated to move more papers.

They've been giving front page encouragement to a campaign against... er... against... hmmm... protesting the court thingies... er...

Well, a lot of people were understandably upset that the odious Gerard Baden-Clay seems to have gotten away with murder. Even though he's still doing time for manslaughter.

I stayed away from the Courier's role in the rallies and protests of the last week because it would be unseemly to brawl over it. But today's Blunty does address the wider problems of turning criminal justice into a reality TV voting system.

At the Instrument.

39 Responses to ‘It's not mob rule. It's mob genuine expression of concern’

Respond to this comment

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted December 22, 2015
Hasn't it always been this way, more or less?

Side-stepping the broader issues surrounding yellow journalism, sometimes inflaming the mob is the only way to get justice out of a corrupt system.

Therbs mumbles...

Posted December 22, 2015
Not in the case of Greybeard. He is still on the loose.

Respond to this thread

NBlob ducks in to say...

Posted December 22, 2015
Hundreds wallowing in an orgy of ignorance of due process.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted December 22, 2015
At least there is a social, group activity aspect to it.

NBlob asserts...

Posted December 23, 2015
Can you cite studies / case law when Angry Mob action has been beneficial?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=h4ZyuULy9zs

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted December 23, 2015
Ferguson, Missouri. August 2014
Chicago. Right now.

NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted December 23, 2015
Waiting. Watching. Yet to be convinced.
I'm no fan of democracy, but I do believe incrementalism has its merit. One could point to a dozen or more instances where a despot has been overthrown, only to have The People's Democratic Junta to eventually be far worse by any metric.
I rage against my perception of injustices and lust for the opportunity / power to "make it right." I'm confident those that hold views 180 degrees from mine feel the same way. That scares me enough to put up with, even to be respectful of the most odious arsemonkey ever elected to high office in my country.
Power should belong to the people, if that isn't possible, then it should be in the hands of consensus builders & deal makers. It should never again be in the hands of the most ruthless.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted December 24, 2015
I am a big fan of democracy, even with its foundational delusions and operational lies. Democracy's foundational delusions - freedom, commonwealth, justice, and all people being created equal - are beautiful dreams even if untrue and they create political, social and economic momentum that pushes against the evils that flow so easily from entrenched power and unchecked capitalism - e.g., slavery, mass poverty and justice, health and long life for the privileged few.

But the operational lies of democracy are powerful, fostering the incremental progress you describe, but towards economic slavery, mass poverty and injustice. I would rather it be different, but in the history of the democracy I live and work in, evolution towards fairness only takes place on the brink of revolution. The American laws promoting union formation and requiring collective bargaining would never have happened if there had not been open warfare in the streets between workers and the police, and hired company thugs that threatened a wider worker's revolution like the Bolshevik's pulled off. Jim Crow, racial segregation and de facto slavery would still exist if the power elite were not terrified of a national race war.

I knew the Occupy Wall Street movement would have a meaningful impact when I learned that some wealthy families were moving their assets overseas - just as most French nobility did prior to their revolution.

Our masters bend and give a little back only when they are afraid, and the only thing that makes them afraid is the threat of rioting in the streets. This is the only reason why, after so many years and so many murders perpetrated by law enforcement officers, things are beginning to change.
This is a wonderful thing. I am less afraid today than I was yesterday that my son will end up in jail or die if and when he is pulled over by the police. This change would not have happened without rioting in the streets.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted December 24, 2015
Again, this is an American point of view shaped by American history. Your history was different and seems to model the gradual progress you describe that may still be possible for you. It is not possible here.

NBlob reckons...

Posted December 24, 2015
You never struck me as a Pollyanna optimist.

Respond to this thread

JG would have you know...

Posted December 22, 2015
Absolutely, John. I was thinking the same thing the other week about this very case when I heard about front pages of The Courier Mail in relation to this case from credible reportage (aka ABC). The Courier Mail seems to have forgotten that journalism is supposed to be unbiased and balanced, or at least attempt to be. There should be as much separation between law and popular sentiment/crowd judgement as (what is supposed to be) separation between state and religion. A pitchfork case.Joanna

Respond to this comment

Blarkon swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 22, 2015
This is the way of the future. I wonder what it was like to live in an age where the sensibility of an impartial system was self-evident to the populace.

Nocturnalist ducks in to say...

Posted December 23, 2015
There may have been such an age among your chill-blooded reptilian compatriots but I do wonder if there ever was one on this world.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted December 23, 2015
I am beginning to suspect that it all depends on where you are. Here - in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave - the impartiality of the system was and still is a lie, an opiate for the masses. But, thanks to electronic media - from the O.J. Simpson trial broadcast to the Walter Scott shooting video streamed on the Internet - more and more of us are realizing the lie and understand that we've been lied to for a very long time. And it is making people very, very angry. And where I am from, nothing really changes unless big groups of angry people take to the streets - especially in an oligarchy like ours.

Perhaps it is different Down Under.

It has its drawbacks. The example that is the foundation for this discussion illustrates the problems of mob rule. But for my people the threat of a peasant revolt where all of the peasants are armed to the teeth is the only thing that may save us from devolving even further into a high tech feudal state.

Respond to this thread

matt asserts...

Posted December 23, 2015
An indipendant impartial and yes unelected judiciary is the only way of keeping mobs from imprisoning people just because the look guilty

Respond to this comment

catmat reckons...

Posted December 23, 2015
Hi John,A minor but major point, (which shows how easy it is to get things wrong!) but murder doesn't require premeditation, as you state, just intent. They are different legally. Murder can be a split second decision but still carries intent.Most people understand the difference between murder and manslaughter and do not want the point of difference (intent) removed.I think you (deliberately perhaps for Baden Clay clickbait yourself) misrepresented the concerns of the ``mob'' in King George Square and dumbed down quite a complex issue.Firstly, the primary aim of the people who gathered was to say they would like to see this verdict appealed. The reasons are myriad, but one problem with the Court of Appeal judgement is that contradicts a ruling the original trial judge John Byrne made, while simultaneously finding he did not err. It makes no sense. Byrne explicitly ruled there WAS enough evidence for the jury to infer intent when he dismissed an application by the defence to have the murder charge thrown on completion of the Crown case.IMO the CofA didn't want to criticise a well-respected, retiring judge and took the easy course of hanging the jury out to dry. No wonder people are confused.The legal community in genuinely split over this decision and worried about the precedent it may set - it is not a media beat up.As far as wanting laws changed - that is something to be looked at after an appeal has been decided, but I believe what people are getting at is not changing murder v manslaughter.Rather, it hinges on the fact Baden-Clay was able to argue a scenario (accidental death) on appeal that he flatly denied in the witness box. People feel he exploited a legal loophole, perhaps. Perhaps legislation could be considered that dictates you may not argue anything on appeal which directly contradicts your sworn testimony at trial. It seems logical you don't get two bites of the cherry at selling different lies.I'm not saying I necessarily support this, I'm just saying this argument is a lot more nuanced than you imply.It's just unfortunate it's not something that can be easily explained and digested in a 5sec TV grab, so it is easy to portray people as an ill-informed mob. Thanks.

NBlob puts forth...

Posted December 23, 2015
Nice one catmat a dissenting opinion is always welcome. Usually mocked for lacking nuance, but always welcome.

Quokka swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 25, 2015
I loathe the frothing of the Snail but in this case I see their point.My training is in health science, so while I am not a doctor, I saw enough in that autopsy report to feel concerned whether the death was accidental, opportunistic, intentional or a combination of the above.Things would sit much better with me if the appeal judges had consulted medical experts on the likely cause of death & time of death, based on the evidence. Well, the evidence that GBC's efforts at concealment failed to destroy.
If GBC wants to argue that she attacked him, he pushed her off, & she fell & hit her head, then this needs to be considered on the weight of the evidence from ABC's autopsy.
This we know: She had a chipped tooth, some bruises, she bled out in the Captiva, and they found some shadowing on her brain tissue which indicated a possible mild sub-dural haematoma.
And this is what troubles me.These things tend not to kill you immediately. They can take hours to days to kill you. Yes, they may render you unconscious. Pressure from the bleed builds on the brain & over time that impacts on cerebral function. Early treatment, however, equals good likelihood of recovery.
Consider the news stories you see of the One Punch killers. Admittedly their victims usually get early medical attention to release the pressure off the brain but even so, it's a few days before life-support is switched off due to the extent of the brain damage.
So my question would be, why did the judges make an apparently arbitrary decision that she died soon after being struck, without consulting those with expertise in the field of brain trauma?
We have plenty of neurological experts who could look at those medical images & who could give evidence about how long that kind of injury would take to kill someone - if you withheld treatment.
i.e. was she still alive when he loaded her into the Captiva? was she still alive when he threw her over the bridge?Would she have regained consciousness after sustaining a mild sub-dural haematoma? They didn't find any pain-killers in her system. Did GBC look at his unconscious wife, and make a decision to ensure that she didn't get medical assistance? or did he go that one step further & hasten the process?To my mind, those are questions that judges & juries can't answer. That is for professionals with medical expertise.So if GBC wants to argue his innocence based on 'She ran at me, she was a mad thing, it was self-defence,' then let's have a new trial & consider the science that supports or refutes that.


Respond to this thread

Murphy_of_Missouri mutters...

Posted December 23, 2015
BURN HER!!!!

Therbs mutters...

Posted December 23, 2015
If she burns it means she's made of wood and therefore a witch.

Murphy_of_Missouri swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 23, 2015
YEAH!!!!!

w from brisbane is gonna tell you...

Posted December 23, 2015
catmat made some good points. I intensely dislike the Murdoch press campaign against the judiciary and I was uncomfortable with the rally against the Baden-Clay decision. But, that is probably partly due to them being a push for higher penalties. If the rally was against a death penalty decision or against a severe sentence received by an aboriginal in the contest of high aboriginal incarceration rates, then I probably would have supported the protest. The rightness of public protest against judicial decisions is a little vexed.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted December 23, 2015
I know she is a witch because she turned me into a newt.

Quokka has opinions thus...

Posted December 25, 2015
No, you didn't.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted December 25, 2015
Why won't you let me feel like a normal person again?

NBlob reckons...

Posted December 26, 2015
If that 'like' was used in the SoCal context, because normal people are hard to find, fleet of foot & pre-warned by Aunty Q.

Respond to this thread

HAVOCK21 mutters...

Posted December 23, 2015
if the mob had half a brain they would have placed a call to the .50 fella in the tower referred to as "ALMIGHTY" to place some metal of a slightly more dense variety onto the skin

Murphy_of_Missouri ducks in to say...

Posted December 23, 2015
But without a Second Amendment, where are you going to get that .50?

Lulu mumbles...

Posted December 23, 2015
We have our ways ...

HAVOCK21 would have you know...

Posted December 23, 2015
Murph....I would have slightly less restrictive gun laws here...its smoke and fkn mirrors and shit TB Honest. Same as the fkn road toll bull shit too. Its revenue raising and pandering to a few fkn dreadlcoedk dope smoking unwashed fkn muppets who in all reality should be treated with the same disdain and contempt I woudl afford the retards in china and TBH prolly dispense the exit charge via a .50 which IMHO would be cash and effort well expended. Waht we should realuu have in plave are a set of Pre registerded DF's and then give the grid co ord to the unwashed and tell them its a potential nuke waste dump, then zap the tools when they arrive, also means that the new NUKE subs we lease from the US wont be onstructed by floating bait in surf boards living on tax payer funded benefits that outta be fkn capped as well

damian reckons...

Posted December 27, 2015
Havsy: Murph has simply chosen to be willfully stupid on this. But consider the alternatives and you'll see it doesn't put him anywhere even near the bottom of the barrel.

Respond to this thread

HAVOCK21 reckons...

Posted December 23, 2015
I need a beer and holidays I think!

Respond to this comment

Rob has opinions thus...

Posted December 24, 2015


I saw that the mob has spoken and people are peeved. But yesterday the twitter mob moaned about the a decision of the public service to deny a family a visa to visit their dying son. Then the decision got reversed by the Minister. What makes one mob wrong and the other right? Why is one applauded and the other denigrated?

I have serious reservations about the principle of mens rea and its use in jury trials and the adversarial court system that we have. I have studied a case where burglars left an old man tied up and he died from a heart attack and only got Manslaughter, when really I saw it as murder. The man wouldn't have died at that time if the burglars hadn't tied him up and left him. What difference does the accused state of mind or intention to bring about his death in the end have to do with the victims death? A man died because of their actions and crime. But it was the adversarial court system, the weasly words, the turn of phrase that got the charge reduced.

In my ideal world (ie the one I rule as a benevolent dictator and everyone has to listen to Metal) I would abolish manslaughter and have a sliding scale of homicide/murder. And introduce an inquisitorial court system, much like our existing Coroners courts and what exists in Europe now.

Respond to this comment

w from brisbane has opinions thus...

Posted December 24, 2015
A bloke I know accidentally left his briefcase beside his company car in the underground car park in an office tower in the Brisbane CBD. The sight of the lone briefcase led to the evacuation of the whole building. As all the office workers spilling out onto the footpath, a man walking by stepped onto the road to get around the crowd on the footpath. He was immediately struck by a vehicle and killed. Killed because this bloke I know accidentally left his briefcase beside his company car.

Respond to this comment

Respond to 'It's not mob rule. It's mob genuine expression of concern'

Doctrine, strategy and tactics in Paris

Posted November 17, 2015 into Blunty by John Birmingham

From the Instrument:

To defeat Daesh means to destroy them utterly, not just to kill and maim their fighters, and reduce the settlements of their pissant fourth world proto-state to rubble and ash, but to negate the philosophy, the very way of the seeing the world which brought that state into being.

To do that we must understand them and their understanding of doctrine, strategy and tactics. These are western concepts, but common to all faiths and ideologies which would take dominion over the world.

100 Responses to ‘Doctrine, strategy and tactics in Paris’

Murphy_of_Missouri reckons...

Posted November 17, 2015
Reminds me all too much of the Without Warning trilogy.

Respond to this comment

Surtac ducks in to say...

Posted November 17, 2015

Good article.

I do like it when you go thinky, but I'd like it more long form. Perhaps you could pitch a Quarterly Essay on the topic. I'd read that.


she_jedi would have you know...

Posted November 17, 2015
+1! I loved your QE on A Time for War

Respond to this thread

jennicki would have you know...

Posted November 17, 2015
I'm just at a loss on what should be done.

Respond to this comment

Murphy_of_Missouri ducks in to say...

Posted November 17, 2015
Here are some suggestions:
1. Systematically target anyone providing funding for legal action. If that can't or won't work, then drop a bomb in their laps. We might also try freezing their bank accounts.

2. Criminally prosecute anyone and everyone purchasing oil and artifacts from Daesh. If that can't or won't work, then again, drop a few bombs in their laps. We might also freeze their bank accounts.

3. Maintain bombing campaign and intensify.

4. Increase use of elite forces to target Daesh leadership on the ground. Capture or terminate as needs must.

5. Build some schools and break the cycle of oral based rote learning. Instead, create children capable of critical thinking. In fact, I'd argue that for every dollar spent on a Wahabbi madrassa by the opposition, we should match that.

6. Speaking of extremist madrassas, they should have a bomb chucked into their laps as well.

7. Sit down with everyone involved in Syria and try to come to a common understanding on a future for that country. Right now the Daesh can take cover behind the chaos of that mess.

What we should not do is think that more wishful thinking, multicultural understanding, and hash tag activism will do any good. These folks want to kill us.

Fine. We need to attack their funding, their supporters, their infrastructure. We weaken that then maybe we'll have a shot on bumping off the diehards.

insomniac mutters...

Posted November 17, 2015
If the question is 'Are they diehards?', perhaps Bruce Willis is the answer.

Murphy_of_Missouri ducks in to say...

Posted November 17, 2015
Yippie Kay Yeah!

Respond to this thread

Legless has opinions thus...

Posted November 17, 2015
Absolutely can, and should, recruit spys from the refugee hordes. Give their families guarantees of safety in the West and send our own 5th column into ISIS.
There will be many who would jump at the chance. There will be many who are burning for a chance at revenge if they know their families will be safe.

Respond to this comment

tygertim mutters...

Posted November 17, 2015
Part of me want to go all Einstatsgruppen on them for the evil they have re-awakened in this t ok red old world but my brain and my heart tells me that this is a mistaken idea, that there has to be a better way. All I can see now is that they WANT us to react in that very manner and that is the very reason we must deny them that which they so desire.... but the blood they spilled, the weeping of the raped enslaved cries out for justice and whispers for vengeance... And those whom suffered need and require some punishment of those guilty souls for their pain.All I can come up with to remedy their trespass against humanity is to seek out those guilty souls whose guilt we can ascertain are guilty beyond any reasonable doubt, is to publicly ,shoot them in the head, place their dead bodies in the chest cavity of dead pigs, fill it with pigs blood, see it shut, and bury it far out in the desert in an undisclosed location. It is the only punishment I can see that fits their crimes.... but I have to admit that if this is done, I fear for my humanity, and yes, my soul...

tygertim has opinions thus...

Posted November 17, 2015
And would this make me evil too?

S.M. Stirling has opinions thus...

Posted November 19, 2015
It's war, not a judicial investigation. In war, you're not trying to punish individuals for doing something wrong; you're trying to inflict unbearable pain on people for being on the other side, so they'll give up (or just die). It's important to keep this distinction in mind.

tygertim mumbles...

Posted November 20, 2015
In that case. It's past time for boots on the ground. An occupation strategy similar to that of Germany post WW 2, of a duration of no less than ten years before the return of their national sovereignty.

Respond to this thread

Therbs swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 17, 2015
There need to be coherent plans for the end of the Assad regime and post-Assad Syria. This includes the economy.

Lulu puts forth...

Posted November 17, 2015
Certainly more coherent than the "post-Saddam" plans for Iraq - the lack of which is not-unrelated to the rise of ISIS/ISIL/Da'esh.

Respond to this thread

HAVOCK21 has opinions thus...

Posted November 17, 2015
Well I have a few suggestions.
1 Go after the money..the funding and that means all the large sums of cash that comes out of VARIOUS FKN ARSEHAT MIDDLE EASTERN COUNTREIES!
2 Get the fkn Egypotions, Saudies and all the other fkn basatrds to ACTUALLY FKN PUT BOOTS ON GROUND and FKN DO SOMETHING!
3 Call BHP and order a metric fk load of razor waire and fence the whole fkn joint off, then, with all the fkn rabbits IN THE FKN PED TO IT AND ALL ITS CONTENTS TO DUST!
4 Fk the middle east, they are ratbags, scum bags arase hat, two timing dont know who you could trust would NOT PISS ON THEM FKN IDIOTS if it were not for oil.
5 Go back in time and shoot the fkrs who happened to div up the middle east and europe for that matter and give us these never ending fkn problems.

Respond to this comment

HAVOCK21 swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 17, 2015
JB is right, there had to be a longer term view on this, some bombs in the short term and to help with continual pressure is ok. But you very rapidly will some some collateral damage and that counter productive to what we would want to achieve. In the short to medium term what's the best way to establish some control, start to deny them freedom of movement, training locations and travel. It might well be that in the near term from a strategic perspective Arsessard is the better of the bad bunch. Maybe its a case of limited restoration, help the take back, support etc but not overly equip him. I'm not convinced that a great option BTW.
Training your own or co-opting refugee's is a good way to go , but the reinsertion is tricky and would be vastly easier with a stabilising operational environment and thus a causal factor for the persons return. You could still utilise insertion back in pre this, but its far far more challenging imho ( think FKN RISKY!). And additionally its a longer operational impact, we would be talking year, and that's not to say we should not do it, quite the contrary, we should be assembling as many of these operatives as possible.
When I ranted before I was quite real about the funding, its not cheap to wage war and going after funding sources is a must and that's where you might well run into the KINGDOM and the messy arrangement that is all of the ME.
One thing is for sure, we do need to up the operational involvement, but be watchful in the manner in which this takes place. The creation of the require departments, selection and training with insertion of infiltrators is a must. This will give us intelligence but again, utilisation of that know;ledge is an issue as you can burn your source. I think you would be looking to seriously infiltrate them and in a coordinated matter remove the head shoulders arms and feet rapidly!.
And you simply have to economically make sure that you rebuild the place.....seriously, I'm not sure how the yanks managed to so badly fk up the last one ( PS I'm not a US basher) but a couple of people made seriously fkn retarded calls! and lots have paid the ultimate price for that mistake.

Respond to this comment

S.M. Stirling has opinions thus...

Posted November 18, 2015
In the month before D-day, we killed 30,000 French civilians during our attacks on the French railway net. That's about 1000 a day. So screw collateral damage; it's war, people get killed.
As for "luring" us into the Middle East, Daesh believes that their final victory (after many defeats) will come when Allah sends Issa (Jesus) down from the sky over Jerusalem to lead them to triumph. No, really, they seriously believe that.
If this is their strategy, then giving them the apocalyptic battle they want is probably a good idea. Unless Issa appears, of course, but that doesn't seem like much of a deterrent to me.

Lulu puts forth...

Posted November 18, 2015
"So screw collateral damage; it's war, people get killed."

Unless it's someone on 'our' side. Then that's unaccceptable / terrorism / barbarism / whatever.

Murphy_of_Missouri swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 18, 2015
I want it to stop. If that means bombing so many until it does . . . well, lets fucking get on with it. Start shoveling those bombs out by the megaton until they get the point.

S.M. Stirling would have you know...

Posted November 19, 2015
Lulu: The 30,000 French civilians WERE on our side, or hadn't you noticed?
War isn't about "good" and "bad". It's about "us" and "them". The rest is largely propaganda.
Empathy begins at home, btw. Do I consider my tribe's lives to be worth more than their tribe's. Of course I do; anyone who doesn't is a moral imbecile.

Respond to this thread

Barnesm asserts...

Posted November 18, 2015

Might I offer John Oliver's response to the terrorists attack.

"France is going to endure, and I'll tell you why. If you're in a war of culture and lifestyle with France, good fucking luck.

Go ahead, bring your bankrupt ideology. They'll bring Jean-Paul Sartre, Edith Piaf, fine wine, Gauloises cigarettes, Camus, Camembert, madeleines, macaroons, Marcel Proust and the fucking croquembouche.

You just bought a philosophy of rigorous self-abnegation to a pastry fight my friend.

Murphy_of_Missouri swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 18, 2015
John Paul Sarte might well be the reason they lose. Hopefully it will be negated by Monet, Henri Cartier-Bresson, and a fair bit of Jules Verne.

Barnesm asserts...

Posted November 18, 2015
Certainly its a big table France can bring.

Murphy_of_Missouri would have you know...

Posted November 18, 2015
More ham sandwiches and less Sarte.

Barnesm mutters...

Posted November 19, 2015
Croquembouche, don't forget the croquembouche.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted November 19, 2015
Do you think they would hate us more if they knew that we pity them?

Barnesm reckons...

Posted November 19, 2015

I don't doubt it.

The French writer Nicolas Henin was an ISIS hostage for 10 months wrote a piece in the Guardian which discussed what really gets up the nose of the ISIS people that were holding him.

I have no doubt that our response to them being pity is harder for them to deal with than any anger or hate.

Respond to this thread

Gutz mutters...

Posted November 18, 2015
'That course of action i would like to suggest is a course of action i CANNOT suggest' i heard that somewhere.....so sick of this my god is better than your god bullshit.

Respond to this comment

NBlob reckons...

Posted November 18, 2015
Consider a metallurgical analogy. We mine ore, refine into ingots, smelt into alloys, machine into tools. With a nod to JB's 'Battlespace awareness' drones gather information (SigInt, video, etc) we are learning to process that into information (hash tags, POI, VOI, LOI - person, vehicle & location of interest.) Information is analysed & tested to become knowledge. Knowledge can then inform action. Action being a euphemism for a couple of hell fire missiles in through the car window.

Radiolab did an espisode recently that The Gothic Link Button doesn't like: http://www.radiolab.org/story/eye-sky/
These systems are improving day on day, week on week. Pretty soon those limited triple C capacities that Daich has will be 'splodily made tactically unviable.
I'm totes across the ethical & legal issues of extrajudicial assassination, but it seems to me the least worst option.

Respond to this comment

jason would have you know...

Posted November 18, 2015
Ideas and success are the weapons we need to fight the ideological battle. The principal of Holroyd school made a point on radio that it is hard to radicalize someone who is successful but easy to radicalize someone with no future. We need to ensure success is all inclusive and that debate is open and informed.


S.M. Stirling puts forth...

Posted November 19, 2015
Ahhh... no. Terrorists are just as likely to be highly educated and economically successful.
It's time to take them at their word. Their statements of their motivation are true, not some unconscious code for "you didn't get me a good job" or "you hurt my feelings'.
Let's throw this cod-Marxist "underlying causes" garbage on the dungheap where it belongs.

Respond to this thread

kuffar has opinions thus...

Posted November 18, 2015
I have said multiple times back in the day of your old blog, there is no clean solution to this. It is going to be bloody and long, and not election cycle long, it is gonna be a generation. We gotta keep the pressure on.
My opinion: ISIS has sex slaves, something about that shit pisses me off. Let's kill those fucks.

John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted November 18, 2015
By all means, but lets get as few us killed and maimed doing it.

S.M. Stirling swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 19, 2015
By all means, keep our casualties down to a minumum, but as the good Freiherr pointed out, in war "moderation is imbecility". Better a terrible end than endless terror.

Respond to this thread

Spanner is gonna tell you...

Posted November 18, 2015
A medium term view...
Soon the oil that's left in the ground will become worthless as we move towards renewable energy. I'm thinking 20 years or less. ISIS and in fact most of the protagonists in the middle east are going to run out of money fast in that time frame. They don't have the IT or governance structures to transition their proto economies.
Much as the allies beat the axis in WWII with production so will we beat these medieval whackos this a new economy. Time and resilience is on our side.

Respond to this comment

HAVOCK21 swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 18, 2015
I'M THINKING STERILISE THE WHOLEFKN M EAST!

Gutz mutters...

Posted November 19, 2015
A bulk delivery to their holy afterlife? From orbit, just be sure. That is the anger part of my brain like the character from the movie inside out.

Nowhere near sensible thoughts, but they need bombing...nobody has specified which ones?

Respond to this thread

NBlob asserts...

Posted November 19, 2015
Collective punishment is a war crime (Geneva 4th Article 33)

NBlob reckons...

Posted November 19, 2015
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourth_Geneva_Convention

Murphy_of_Missouri reckons...

Posted November 19, 2015
Might be time to throw that particular rule book out. It isn't like the Daesh are going to abide by it.

Hell, I can't think of a single opponent the United States has faced that even made a surface effort to comply with Geneva.

NBlob swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 19, 2015
The only way to tell good guys from bad guys is by their conduct. The day we indiscriminately bring pain to the innocent we are no better than those whom we seek to destroy.

HAVOCK21 has opinions thus...

Posted November 19, 2015
true....but I will kill them all on the fight thru and further, on the field of battle as they have given no quarter nor shown no mercy, so shall I give none!
Commander Havock.

NBlob mumbles...

Posted November 19, 2015
And that, my camo colleague, is the nub of the matter. These chickensh!t arse clowns chose to surround themselves with innocents. Human shields has to be the lowest act of a so called military force. Hence my comment about Intel driven drone war being the least worst option.

Murphy_of_Missouri swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 20, 2015
I think I'd rather have history judge me as a bad guy who lived to a ripe old age as opposed to a gullible, naive, and very dead before my time good guy.

Respond to this thread

S.M. Stirling swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 19, 2015
NBlob: war IS collective punishment. That is its inherent nature.
The laws of war are actually a mutual accommodation; they don't apply to dealings with people who don't make a good-faith attempt to abide by them.
And, of course, the only -real- war crime is losing. The rest is bullshit.

NBlob asserts...

Posted November 19, 2015
Mr Stirling as you are an honoured guest I'll keep this as civil as I can. You are wrong.

damian swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 19, 2015
Way too much arse in this thread - wrinkly, hairy and shitty arse. The really ugly thing is: it's talking. Which is fine in its place I guess, but it's not my taste. So maybe be back some other time, cheers.

Murphy_of_Missouri reckons...

Posted November 20, 2015
Yep, been to one. They are pretty fucking ugly.

They are even uglier when you resort to half measures and platitudes.

w from brisbane mumbles...

Posted November 20, 2015
My uncles, who fought for Australia in WW2, very rarely talked about it. But would say, war is a terrible business, don't think there are good guys, because every horror they did, we did too.

Barnesm asserts...

Posted November 20, 2015
so you would be familiar with Cicero's argument "Silent enim leges inter arma" popularly translated as "people called Romeania they go the house".

Murphy_of_Missouri ducks in to say...

Posted November 20, 2015
The law is not a suicide pact.

Barnesm mutters...

Posted November 20, 2015
I would hope not.

Respond to this thread

enzo polato puts forth...

Posted November 20, 2015
It's Myamoto Musashi's Go Rin No Sho's theory of japanese sword fighting, five centuries old and still sound

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted November 21, 2015
It's still sound if you have a sword? But what if you don't have a sword? I don't have a sword. But I do have a 12 gauge double barreled sawed-off shotgun. Does Myamoto Musashi's Go Rin No Sho's fancy sword fighting theory help me use a weapon that doesn't depend on precision and takes no skill at all to deploy?

Respond to this thread

Des asserts...

Posted November 20, 2015
lets do the time warp! last time i poked my head in here i got gang banged by a few pumped up chicken hawks...probably three years ago. i come back to see how things are going (largely due to my old friendship with JB) and i find that the same couple of people are sprouting the same hairy chested rhetoric... even down to that old blowhard USS Stirling (dare i speak his name) throwing his weight around. see you all in three years!

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted November 21, 2015
No, you dare not speak his name.

Have you learned nothing during your alleged absence?

Des would have you know...

Posted November 21, 2015
thank you, my learned friend, i appreciate the tip..something for me to ponder while in exile... and he who shall hereinafter only be referred to as 'big daddy' can sail forth, guns a-blazing, unassailed by the possibility that his Kilgore-like pearls of wisdom will be questioned by communists like myself. back to the gulag for me!

Des asserts...

Posted November 21, 2015
i do wonder though. Maybe Big Daddy's 'feelin' the Bern'?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 21, 2015
It is my policy to hide my ignorance by disagreeing with anything I don't understand. It is the most efficient way to fake intelligence that I know of - and, believe me, I've tried them all. It is amazing how insightful one can appear merely by shaking their head while feigning utter certainty that someone else is dead wrong.

I didn't understand anything included in either of your two posts, above, so - if I had to guess - I would guess that the answer to your question is no.

I do like you referring to me as "learned" though. That was cool. Way cool. Dude. I would repeat it if I harboured any confidence that I know how to pronounce "learned."

des ducks in to say...

Posted November 21, 2015
yes, i wouldn't know what i'm talking about. thanks. i was trying to be nice. silly me. that you choose to to take umbrage and patronise me, given the inane and jokey manner of most threads i have read here, i will just accept) that you, (as a guardian and caretaker of the Gothic's gate), have chosen to cast me out, largely because you dislike the notion of an opinionated outsider engaging your comfy circle.... i stand admonished by my superior. i am also sorry that my superior fails to comprehend the meaning of my original message, and those that followed...simply put, after nearly three years, this prestigious if small group of warmongers that i was referring to, are still itching for war, and are spouting the same foamy mouthed rubbish about the desire for war in Syria. i obviously find it strange, but i am outside the goldfish bowl. maybe some oxygen would help in there. probably not.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted November 21, 2015
Oh my God that was so funny on so many levels. The misplaced sense of importance, the oppressive seriousness and the pretense of persecution are, honestly speaking, wonderful. My attempts at humour are good - don't get me wrong: I think I am very funny - but not as good as that.


Des mumbles...

Posted November 21, 2015
your self-serving statement IS funny, even if you generally are less so than you might imagine. but don't worry, counsellor, i do not feel victimised. i just call it as i see it. the sole reason i am here is because i have known and liked JB for a very long time...i would never suggest that i have anything but good-humoured contempt for some of the rubbish i have read on the threads. anyhow, keep slappin' me with that wet fish!

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted November 21, 2015
",,,i do not feel victimised [sic]."

Well, thank God for that.

Des mumbles...

Posted November 21, 2015
you just can't help yourself! get some sleep. you sound over-tired.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted November 21, 2015
Truth be told, I am somewhat tired. You are very insightful.

Respond to this thread

Des swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 21, 2015
p.s, my learned friend, a funny thing happened last time i dared poke my head up here....although i was merely bemused by the experience, several refuseniks within your ranks contacted me via Facebook to offer me their sympathy, and vent their dislike for the beta jock atmosphere created by certain parties. and only today i stumbled across a thread on another persons personal blog, where a few posts, and the threads thereafter concerned the same emergent problem, and half a dozen burgers were likewise bemused as i was and am. food for thought, counsellor

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted November 21, 2015
Okay, if you are creating a personae, then your last comment was hilarious. The idea that there are dissident Burgers who secretly contact you to offer support is simply hilarious.

Des has opinions thus...

Posted November 21, 2015
all true. including two women who i'm sure you have had dealings with on this thread. it was funny.

Des mumbles...

Posted November 21, 2015
actually i meant on this site...not this particular thread...this was at least 2.5 years ago...i believe they have abandoned ship. surely remember those unhappy ladies.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted November 21, 2015
I mean it. I accept as truth that there are people who regularly post here - including "two women" - who contacted you on Facebook to express solidarity and support for your views.

Des puts forth...

Posted November 21, 2015
i doubt if they left because of me...as i understand it they felt bullied, verbally abused, and ostracised. by way of contradistinction, i remain bemused, and yes, now amused. i must be bored. i must get back to preparing a trial(attempt at empathy)...you know the procrastination problem, i am sure.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted November 21, 2015
Oh, I see... these women left here because they agreed with your
opinions about this place. What a pity. I view this as a welcoming
place. More or less. After all, for a very long time even Dino was
welcomed. The Boss bent over backwards for the guy. Hell, this place has tolerated me for years and years. And I can be a real asshole.

If I had to guess I would guess you are quite popular with the ladies. Chicks dig outspoken rebel types who speak truth to power.

Des swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 21, 2015
you will be relieved to know that another party, a male person, who also contacted me, is still hanging in there on this thread, and, if i may say so, often comes off as the voice of reason. i doubt if he feels bullied. it may be a gender thing?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted November 21, 2015
Don't get me wrong: I fully accept that, in addition to women, there are also men who support and agree with you. Probably more than I imagine.

Respond to this thread

Des puts forth...

Posted November 21, 2015
sure...chicks dig me.

insomniac mumbles...

Posted November 21, 2015
Des, you should talk to Cindy-Lou. She is fascinating. You two should really get on.

Des asserts...

Posted November 21, 2015
Sure. i like to get to know fascinating people. i'm very friendly when i want to be.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted November 22, 2015
A match made in heaven, Sleepless One.

w from brisbane is gonna tell you...

Posted November 22, 2015
Des, weren't you going to see us again in three years?

insomniac has opinions thus...

Posted November 22, 2015
Do you have an alcoholic dog?

w from brisbane swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 22, 2015
Well Des, after popping in just to tell us that you knew better, and besides, unlike us, you were JB's special friend, Paul decided to throw a little bit of burley in the water. I must say, it didn't take much. The fish was quickly hooked, reeled in, and is now flopping around on the deck of the boat.

NBlob would have you know...

Posted November 22, 2015
In your absence things have changed a little. While we may still bang on about military/political matters we have diversified. We now, in attempt to broaden our appeal, have an active Snark Fanciers subgroup. We trade tips on grooming, training and similar.

insomniac ducks in to say...

Posted November 22, 2015
Cindy-Lou is very well regarded around here, and is certainly not the object of derision by "Boylan", if indeed that is his real name, and my good self. I was merely trying to find out what, if anything, you two had in common, and it appears that as far as pets go, you don't.

Des puts forth...

Posted November 22, 2015
My apologies. for the record, i have a sturdy bluey called Panda, and i trust he doesn't inhale, but certainly not a drinker.

Respond to this thread

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted November 21, 2015
I'm sorry, mate, but I really have to go. There is something on television about monkeys.

Des mumbles...

Posted November 21, 2015
i'll let that one go through to the 'keeper. enjoy!

Respond to this thread

NBlob mutters...

Posted November 21, 2015
Monkeys? On television? See this is why They hate you Americans, with you collagen implants, 50 brands of candy, SUVs & now, of all things, monkeys on fricken television. Next you'll be skiting about ugly "Still life with pear" paintings on the walls of your comfortable ranch style homes.

Barnesm is gonna tell you...

Posted November 21, 2015
But to be fair we haven't reached the nadir of human civilisation until we have googlebox the TV show watching people watching the show with monkey's on it.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted November 22, 2015
I must confess it was The Man in the High Castle and Jessica Jones
that drew me away at that moment. But something on the telly about
monkeys would have done it, too. Monkeys are endlessly fascinating.

I
consider NBlob's side comment about "Still life with pear" paintings a
low blow even for him. He has been a guest in my comfortable ranch
style home and knows I have Still Life with Pear paintings on every wall
in every room. What of it? I can put what I want on my walls. Who
cares if it is the same painting? I happen to like that painting.
Looking at it takes me to another world, a world without politics or
pain or terrorist bombings. A world with pears. And the possibility of
the occasional orange.

NBlob mumbles...

Posted November 22, 2015
There are no oranges. Only a SJW with unresolved protoMarxist ideologies would cling to such an outdated idea. Californian fixations with citrus are like so 1930's.

Respond to this thread

Murphy_of_Missouri has opinions thus...

Posted November 22, 2015
I'm sorry . . . who the fuck is Des and why should I care?

NBlob mutters...

Posted November 22, 2015
You may know him by his other names, Des Cartes, Structable, & Alination. Yeah, sorry.

Des would have you know...

Posted November 22, 2015
you don't remember me, old son? you were really pissed off at me a couple of years ago. you might have even had a violent fantasy about the things you wanted to do to me....so thats who i am. and should you care? give it a go. we might get on fine. i will try to care about you, and i will even endorse the gist of what you said earlier about a plan to resolve Syria...i note that you did not advocate, as your masters have, the immediate removal of Assad. you have evolved.

Murphy_of_Missouri puts forth...

Posted November 22, 2015
Must not have been too violent. I have zero fucks to give about you.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted November 22, 2015
"i don't want to rile you."

Sure you do. That's your primary motive here. You seek reaction to fuel further fake conflict.

Believe me, we've been there, done that, and have learned to ignore it.

Murphy_of_Missouri asserts...

Posted November 22, 2015
Well, at least I didn't disemvowel him.

Respond to this thread

w from brisbane swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 22, 2015
As a general observation, it's great if you are in a movie, chomping on a cigar while in a field tent, otherwise I think 'boots on the ground' is an expression best avoided and should be replaced by referring to the people in the boots.

Respond to this comment

Des ducks in to say...

Posted November 22, 2015
hit the Ton!

Respond to this comment

Respond to 'Doctrine, strategy and tactics in Paris'

It's been too long.

Posted October 27, 2015 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Zombie Instrument.

Yeah, yeah. So a fan fave got possibly might've got chomped on The Walking Dead. Big deal. It's make believe, people. We have the real thing to deal with now and nobody is even paying attention. If you are as well informed on zombie news as me, which you're not, because that would be impossible, you would know that the undead uprising is already upon us.

The recent report of a crazed airline passenger biting another passenger and then 'dying' – i.e., being put down by the business class passengers because they were the only ones with steel cutlery to stab the bitey fiend in the head – was tellingly short on details.

What happened to all of the economy class passengers, for instance? Did we hear of them again? No, we didn't, because they've been fed into high temperature industrial incinerators by the CDC. Big mistake, CDC. Thanks for filling our lungs with zombie smoke.

At Blunty.

9 Responses to ‘It's been too long. ’

Therbs is gonna tell you...

Posted October 27, 2015
Forget Zed 'cos Zed's dead. But self-warming sausage rolls from outer space? That is magnificent.

Respond to this comment

AKM. would have you know...

Posted October 27, 2015
The shotgun is still available, at least for the moment. I know those extra couple of rounds would make all the different when the Ipswitch ZomHorde descends and tries to give you an oral pedicure, but for the nonce, you can still purchase the Lesser Adler.......better than a pointed stick.

Respond to this comment

insomniac reckons...

Posted October 27, 2015
Do your new plans include a stash of the food of the gods: bacon, and it's almost equally delicious cousin: ham? Could it be used as a weapon against the Zed given the so-called "advice" provided by the WHO overnight? Feed the Zed enough and you may just bring them down with bowel cancer. Sure, you'd be playing the long game, but it may just work.

Respond to this comment

Quokka would have you know...

Posted October 27, 2015
My plan is simple. I will throw Barnaby Joyce & both Katters to Zed & wait for them to keel over with pancreatic cancer from ingesting all the nitrates they've sucked in from a lifetime of processed pig, three times a day.

Respond to this comment

FormerlyKnownAsSimon has opinions thus...

Posted October 27, 2015
Zombie hordes are a thing of the past. These days they will all be pre-occupied with their own digital gadgets trying to ape taking selfies with dead phones. If a z does take you by surprise whip out your phone and pretend to take a pic or better yet hand it a thin stick and it will be distracted trying to figure out how to attach its own device to the end of it.
At the start whilst phone batteries last can you use tinder or something to see how close everyone is around you? (definitely not for . . . you know . . . hooking up with any available z's)

Respond to this comment

Murphy_of_Missouri puts forth...

Posted October 27, 2015
Wouldn't you just get those dozer blades they used for the hedgerow country of Normandy and just plow through the hordes? Once they've been kneecapped it should be a simple matter of walking in with some sledgehammer wielding Mormons to finish them off.

Respond to this comment

GhostSwirv swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 28, 2015

Yeah, but you could probably kneecap him with a Rhinestone.

Respond to this thread

Halwes ducks in to say...

Posted October 28, 2015
Sorry. Off topic again but if any of you Brisbanites can get to see Fleetwood Mac you should go. Saw them in Sydney and they were fantastic. Sure it was nostalgic and sure everyone is over 60 but they rocked the arena big time.

Respond to this comment

Respond to 'It's been too long. '