Cheeseburger Gothic

G20: Come for the theatre, stay for the body cavity search

Posted November 11, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

At Blunty:

It's adorable that Lord Quirky is so worried about the city turning into a ghost town this week that he's releasing a thousand free car spaces and begging punters to penetrate the puckered Ring of Steel. After all, it would be terribly embarrassing were some G20 delegate from Mexico or China to think they've landed in some pissant backwater; although given the number of neobrutalist dictators jetting in over the next few days, the massive and overwhelming security presence on the increasingly empty streets may well feel just like home.

"Oh look, Vladimir, sonic cannons! How thoughtful of Abbott the convict barbarian."

44 Responses to ‘G20: Come for the theatre, stay for the body cavity search’

Quokka mumbles...

Posted November 11, 2014
Somehow I don't think Quirky was prepared for the kind of protest that the locals have organised. Which is to stick one finger in the air, close up shop, and go home.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted November 11, 2014
As Eric Cartman says: "Screw you guys; I'm going home."

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w from brisbane asserts...

Posted November 11, 2014
Authorities have been keen to reassure Brisbane residents that they shouldn't worry about the snipers on the building tops, after all, "it's time for Brisbane to shine".

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted November 11, 2014
It's funny because it isn't happening to me.

Chaz swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 11, 2014
G8 coming soon to Boylanville, Ca

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted November 11, 2014
Not funny, Chaz. Not funny.

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Surtac puts forth...

Posted November 11, 2014

So are you Brisneylanders going to get the F/A-18s flying racetrack patterns overhead all night, the way we did here in Canberra when we had US presidents in town?

I was very dirty on those b*stards disturbing my sleep like that.


Quokka has opinions thus...

Posted November 11, 2014
Surtac: Helicopters.
Lots of.
It's been horrible around south bank & west end for weeks.

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Bondiboy66 puts forth...

Posted November 11, 2014
What exactly ARE fighter jets going to be good for in a situation like this? Dropping humanitarian aid like in Iraq? Even shooting down some possible terrorist controlled aircraft means the target is going to crash somewhere in the city...

Darth Greybeard puts forth...

Posted November 11, 2014
Ah yes, but somewhere else in the city. Tough luck proles.

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Murphy mutters...

Posted November 11, 2014
Why don't you guys use your military aircraft to do flyovers of sporting events after the anthem concludes? That is what we do here.

Just sayin'.

Respects,
Murph
On the Outer Marches

Halwes has opinions thus...

Posted November 11, 2014
The worst thing about US flyovers is that they usually happen after the Iraqi, Afghanis etc have sung their national anthems.

damian would have you know...

Posted November 11, 2014
We used to do F/A-18s with their afterburners on for riverfire. Think the price of fuel stopped that eventually (they still flyover but).

National anthems at sporting events are relatively new, maybe 80sish. Though to be fair I'm thinking of local level stuff that took till then to die out here, maybe it did so earlier there. Still, think it's more about meat pies and tomato sauce than about sheep stealing and suicide (or, reluctantly, about advancing and being girt and stuff).

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Quokka swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 11, 2014
I cannot for the life of me figure out WTF the police chopper finds so very interesting that every day it needs to do laps of our 'hood. I think they must be so fucking bored they are taking photos of interesting renovations for their Block style home improvement ideas.
'Oooh Tracey would you look at that pool!'
Unless of course one of them has binoculars trained on our back yards, searching for bongoes, ukeleles and the odd straggly leafed pot plant, so they can come back for some ukelele busting fun when the G20 ceases to deliver.

Murphy is gonna tell you...

Posted November 12, 2014
Maybe it is because I live in the flight path of the Downtown Kansas City Airport but what are you guys going on about? We hear helicopters and planes all the time.

Insofar as police helicopters go, there is only one for the entire metro and the various jurisdictions share it. We see more Blackhawks, Chinooks, and the ever so often Apache from the Missouri Army National Guard than anything else.

Respects,
Murph
On the Outer Marches

Halwes ducks in to say...

Posted November 12, 2014

Those coppers are over your house because CBG has obviously been catagorised as a subversive organisation. It's the same at my house. Oh wait a minute that's still the intervention. Anyway don't we all feel so much safer knowing there are cops in the sky with sub machine guns trained on the backs of our necks?

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ShaneAlpha would have you know...

Posted November 11, 2014
If it is all so sweetness and light why did they move Supernova con to after the G20? Something to do with cavity searching 30 000 cos playing geeks perhaps? And we all know that their personal hygiene can be a bit spotty? Or maybe it's not a good look gunning down teenagers with cardboard weapons....sometimes.

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damian swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 11, 2014
There was one of those big white fibreglass watchouse-on-a-truck things parked up on Greg Tce this arvo when I was driving home, with a few officers hanging around next to it, clearly bored to numbness. No idea what they were expecting. A couple had Movember mos.

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TheWah swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 11, 2014
Huzzah for security theatre. Some of the most exciting theatre we will get in this city this year - and for only 400 million dollars.


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MickH puts forth...

Posted November 12, 2014
Coming late to this.
But its ridiculous here. The police presence is just, well, over the top.
I walk past the Mecure hotel of a morning and there were around 20 cops sitting around there inside the barricade, at 6.20 am looked bored stupid.
Our Aboriginal friends decided to get in on the act and had a march on Monday down Adeliade st. From the viewpoint of our 5th floor I reckon there were around 70 protesters. Walking on either side of them, in single file were 90, yes 90 police!! (i counted them). They marched again yesterday and the police presence was a little more realistic with 10 or so officers but still.

Can someone tell me what the point of all this is, except to rip millions of dollars out of the local commercial activity as people flee the circus? The top leaders are only here for a day too, after all the hype and circumstance, does anything actually get accomplished?

Oh, and there already stories of how there is no cop presence in our suburbs. Brace for a big weekend of crime guys while the cops parade through our streets looking like the para military they wish to be.
(I'm already seeing 140K plus speeds on the freeways)

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Quokka ducks in to say...

Posted November 12, 2014
one for each protester, Mick, there were a few old aunties and uncles with disabilities in the bus at the back of the march.
You never know how dangerous someone with emphysema could be.

MickH asserts...

Posted November 12, 2014
Especially the ones with the oxy tanks

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MickH ducks in to say...

Posted November 12, 2014
I had a talk to the coffee guy in our building this morning about how the week has been so far. He said "Bloody terrible", he has had to lay off staff and has lost a lot of business because of people staying away due to the G20. He said that all of the small businesses in the CBD were really feeling the pinch.

Someone tell me again how this is great for Brisbane?

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Quokka swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 12, 2014
When I made much the same reports about West End traders having the same grumbles, the Bloke grunted 'Blame KRudd. This was all his idea.'

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Quokka puts forth...

Posted November 13, 2014
http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2008/02/13/2161764.htm

Well Murph here's the shocker but apparently living under the flight path raises people's blood pressure, reduces their life expectancy &, before it kills them, in the lead up they get very, very cranky.

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Chaz ducks in to say...

Posted November 13, 2014
We're getting emails from firms in brisbane CBD saying they're closing during G20 shindig.

MickH mutters...

Posted November 13, 2014
Most of us are working from home today Chaz.

Halwes ducks in to say...

Posted November 13, 2014

I went to Brisbane once but it was closed. Apologies to whoever I ripped this off from but, really, what's it got going for it anyway.? It's flamin hot with no sea breeze most of the time, there is a big brown drain running through it that floods like the end of the world, north enough for cyclones, not far enough north that you don't get bone chillingly cold winters, the worlds most right wing, corrupt politicians and too many southern blow ins trying to shape the joint in their own image. Name one good thing in Brisbane apart from the little remaining architecture, the Breakfast Creek hotel, Bent Books, the fantastic art gallery and museum, the last remnants of a pub scene, Lang Park, Eagle Farm and Albion Park trots.?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted November 13, 2014
Halwes, I've been everywhere from Beruit to Belfast to Boston. I love cities. And I love Brisbane for a thousand reasons and cannot wait to return.

Halwes puts forth...

Posted November 13, 2014
I've been to Bombay, Moscow and Calcutta and I rather go to Calcutta!!

Halwes asserts...

Posted November 13, 2014
That last bit was bullshit

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Lulu has opinions thus...

Posted November 13, 2014
I've been to Bamberg, Breslau, Breclav, Bratislava, and Budapest but not Brisbane.

Halwes would have you know...

Posted November 13, 2014
What about Quilpie, Windorah or Coonabarabran?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan puts forth...

Posted November 13, 2014
I had big fun in Bamberg.

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Halwes ducks in to say...

Posted November 13, 2014

Peppiminarti, Utopia, Numbulwar, Alyangula, Gapuwiyak is about my range nowdays

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted November 13, 2014
I wonder why Mullumbimby never makes anyone's list anymore.

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Anthony ducks in to say...

Posted November 13, 2014

A poem I learnt at school (in Brisbane of course)


On the Queensland railway lines,
There are stations where one dines,
Private individuals
Also run refreshment stalls

Chorus
Bogan-Tungan, Rollingstone,
Mungar, Murgon, Marathon(e),
Garthanungra, Pinkenba,
Wanko, Yaamba; ha, ha, ha!

Males and females, high and dry
Hang around at Durikai;
Boora-Mugga, Djarawong,
Giligulgul, Wonglepong.

Pies and coffees, baths and showers,
Are supplied at Charters Towers;
At Mackay the rule prevails
Of restricting showers to males.

Iron rations come in handy,
On the way to Dirranbandi,
Passengers have died of hunger,
During halts at Garatdunga.

Lets us toast before we part,
Those who travel stout at heart,
Drunk or sober rain or shine,
On the Queensland railway lines.

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Darth Greybeard has opinions thus...

Posted November 13, 2014
We lived in the same house in Brisbane for over 30 years, then moved to Melbourne. There are a few places I miss in Brisbane but there are pleasant places anywhere. What we really miss is the people. Certain Burgers, ex-colleagues, a few family, the Degenerate Diners with our over the top themed meals, food and wine based outings and general ribald fun. At 60+ you don't just drop easily into a new city and into a new group of friends. Luckily we both have family here and more fun-loving ones than most in Brisbane. (Vote Tex in Albert Park). Newspaper confected rivalries between this city and that make me tired. I could even go back to Ipswich and be happy - if the right people were there.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted November 14, 2014
It is always the people that make a place.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted November 14, 2014
But you could land in worst places than Melbourne.

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Therbs asserts...

Posted November 14, 2014

Brisbane will get over it. Sydney's seen this sort of thing where some CBD cafes and shops are screwed for a week or so, then they come back. Its not only Qld police, they've imported interstate and Kiwi cops as well. They do love a big police force in Queensland.



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w from brisbane asserts...

Posted November 14, 2014
I think Brisbane is already over it. Not that it was really a biggie, just a bit tiresome with all the hoo-ha. But hey, we get a public holiday, they can do it every month if they like.

I think that the powers-that-be expected that the locals would feel some excitement and pride about the G20. But, people seem pretty underwhelmed. Meh, seems to be the feeling. The most powerful politicians on the planet just don't seem to have much celebrity cachet. Those are the people who are in the articles we don't click on. It's not as if any of them are Taylor Swift or anything.

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NBlob ducks in to say...

Posted November 15, 2014
Meh.
This kind of meeting is the lube which prevents national interests rubbing against each other from catching fire.
It's unfortunate that the good burghers of Brisneyland get to feel used & to lay on the wet spot.
A friend of a friend is putting little origami boats on traffic bollards all 'round G20, protesting the treatment of refugees. I thought it lovely, gentle & pointless.

TheWah has opinions thus...

Posted November 15, 2014
I saw three people doing this on thursday night on Story Bridge. A woman and two men. Dropping off origami boats full of rocks every 3 metres or so on the footpath. The whole bridge was covered. I had no idea what it meant and felt sorry for the cleaners who would have to clean up all those little rocks and paper boats.

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Respond to 'G20: Come for the theatre, stay for the body cavity search'

Numpties in the niqab

Posted October 28, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

At Blunty:

It would be hard to imagine bigger clowns than the three plonkers who rolled up to Parliament in Canberra on Monday, dressed in a niqab, a murderers bed sheet and a motorcycle helmet. Until Corey Bernadi and Queensland's own George Christensen pulled on the floppy shoes and big red noses to support them.

Just what Sergio Redegalli, Nick Folkes and Victor Waterson were trying to prove with their 'Faceless' protest isn't as obvious as you'd think at first. Were they attempting to highlight a cultural inequity, because the niqab and burqa are being treated differently to the Ku Klux Klan robes? Or was this more of a men's rights thing? A protest against the misandry of not allowing men, and only men to wear fancy dress?


16 Responses to ‘Numpties in the niqab’

w from brisbane asserts...

Posted October 28, 2014
Could they be the new Village People?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted October 28, 2014
LOL (really, I did).

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MickH is gonna tell you...

Posted October 28, 2014
I have no problem if some one wants to cover their entire body for religious purposes as I fully support the wearing of colanders on the head for the same reason. But they should NOT be used in identification documents ie drivers licences and passports as this is open for abuse and makes the whole exercise pointless.

insomniac reckons...

Posted October 28, 2014
Bugger for religious purposes; I cover my entire body just so as not to scare small children.

Darth Greybeard puts forth...

Posted October 28, 2014
+10

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Sudragon ducks in to say...

Posted October 28, 2014
For a moment there, I thought the Chaser team had jammed the stupidity lever all the way over, but even they wouldn't go this far...would they?

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yankeedog asserts...

Posted October 28, 2014
Looks like a joke gone bad.

'So a Klansman, a stormtrooper, and a woman with a burqa walk into this bar...'

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Chaz reckons...

Posted October 28, 2014

Couldn't log into BT so I'll post here.

think the guy in the white outfit is dressed in religious gear. Very common costume in spain during easter. if it was a KKK outfit I think it needs a little badge on the lhs.

but it is easier to call it a KKK outfit rather than maybe look into it further

Darth Greybeard would have you know...

Posted October 28, 2014
Seriously Chaz? Did you hear him? I doubt he'd know a penitent from a pencil and I'd bet good money (i.e. someone else's) that KKK is exactly what he had in mind.

Chaz has opinions thus...

Posted October 28, 2014

but do you know that?....

Just saying. I find both meanings of the get up offensive and symbolic of repression but there you go.

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robW reckons...

Posted October 28, 2014
My family is from the South, as in Dixie south. They started little burgs in Alabama and Mississippi that still bear the family name. They bred like rabbits so it was no using dividing up the farms for all the sons. It was easier to move west and steal land from the Indians or follow the railroads.

My great grandfather ended up in Oklahoma and tried to grab some free land during the Oklahoma Land Rush. Apparently he got drunk and didn't wake up in time for the big rush--or grab, or theft, depending upon your viewpoint. He went to work for the railroad instead.

He nurtured a love of whiskey, cards, and women until late in life. Family legend has it that he always wanted to join the Klan. Back then the Klan didn't spend all its time burning crosses and lynching, they also ran bingo games for charity and pitched in with the sandbags when the river overflowed. A member of the Klan had community standing. He had connections.

My great grandfather repeated tried to join, but the Grand Cyclops turned him down each time. Apparently the Baptist Klansmen didn't approve of whiskey, cards, and dancing with loose women. My great grandfather lost his self respect because of the rejection, year after year. He just didn't belong and continued to drink.

He even missed out on the Tulsa Riots of 1921, when the Klan burned 35 city blocks, 1,256 homes, left 10,000 homeless, and lynched or shot 300 blacks. No one bothered to count the rapes. My great grandfather stayed home and drank instead; he wasn't invited to the party. The local Klan's Grand Cyclops said he didn't have the moral fiber. The Klan wanted you sober while burning and lynching.

Great grandpa drank himself to a late grave--he was 89 or so when he passed--never having been invited to join the Klan. He could play a mean hand of poker, though, while enjoying shots of whiskey.

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damian swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 28, 2014
I've no patience for men's rights guys, as individuals or as the proverbial collective that is as smart as its dumbest member, divided by the number of members. There's just so much wrongness on every possible level. Kashmir willow cluebats are really the only possible form of engagement, and frankly that's just more effort that it's worth.

I've no patience either for the likes of one of the comunters at blunty, who said something like "I don't care if they say it's not forced, it's forced". I think central here (and with men's rights guys for different reasons) is the idea of bad faith. If, without examining someone's circumstances, you insist they are acting in bad faith, the onus is really on you to show you're not acting in bad faith yourself.

I'm going to start complaining about kids on my lawn next, or at least my increasing grumpiness seems to be defined in terms of not believing things and losing patience with the things people do believe in. Ho hum.

Oh and RobW, that's a great story.

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Darth Greybeard mutters...

Posted October 28, 2014
And now the ever-amazing Jacqui Lambie wants $34000 fines and 12 months jail for parents who force daughters to wear burqas. I'm not sure what the incidence of that in Oz would be, or if it's > 0. Most women (who have spoken out on line) wearing the hijab or niqab seem to have taken it up as adults and after the fuss started. No connection there of course. There is of course a good reason for the exact figure of $34000, you see (cont)

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Barnesm mumbles...

Posted October 29, 2014

What! you weren't exhausted enough after deadline hell, thought you'd post a topic guarantee to require your constant attention throughout the day due to the proliferation of mouthbreathrs and asshats.

What were you thinking JB?

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dweeze would have you know...

Posted October 29, 2014
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/cartoon/2014/oct/29/first-dog-on-the-moon-racist-carrot
nuff said...

damian reckons...

Posted October 30, 2014
"It's all about ethics in games journalism".

Hadn't spotted this before posting the same link cross thread.

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Respond to 'Numpties in the niqab'

By their name ye shall know them. Potato scallops

Posted October 14, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Rich pickings for the snarky columnist this week. I was almost going to go with #shirtfronting but felt that with all the horrible news around at the moment, the weekends potato scallop/potato cake jihad needed revisting.

A crispy golden choice, if the early comments are any indication. The best, as always, are from those punters who could miss the point for Australia.

Ten cents they cost. Ten cents for a lovely golden medallion of crunchy salty awesome wrapped around a fluffy white heart of perfect potato. It was a fifteen minute walk from school, down the hill and through the centre of town to the Samios family's fish and chippery, but even in the baking, lethal heat of summer it was worth it. For at the end of your trek, nirvana awaited.

Nirvana cost ten cents. And by its name we shall know it.

The potato scallop.

At Blunty.

86 Responses to ‘By their name ye shall know them. Potato scallops’

Lulu ducks in to say...

Posted October 14, 2014
Looking at that picture, I'm wondering if you'd like any potato with your batter.

Darth Greybeard has opinions thus...

Posted October 14, 2014
But the batter is the best part?

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Timbo would have you know...

Posted October 14, 2014
Imagine my surprise after moving to Tasmania in the mid nineties when I walked into a corner store and ordered three scallops. The price seemed a little high, and then I was handed a bag containing what I assumed to be three deep-fried cojones.

MickH mutters...

Posted October 14, 2014
ROFLMAO!

but they were tasty colones hey!

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Blarkon asserts...

Posted October 14, 2014
Do they not do deep fried muscles in QLD and call them scallops?

I'll have the barra, 4 potato cakes, 4 scallops, and a minimum chips.

Bernie mutters...

Posted October 14, 2014
Fixed it for you,
"I'll ave the barra, 4 potato scallops, 4 sea scallops a couple of deep fried oysters and minimum chups thanks bro."

Barnesm puts forth...

Posted October 14, 2014

and the decrease in portion and unregulated size of 'minimum chips' offerred through out Australia should be referred to the appropriate authorities.

BigWillieStyle has opinions thus...

Posted October 14, 2014

@ Blarkon

Another couple of weeks, and there'll be not one, but two sets of "deep fried muscles in QLD". One set owned by Toned Abs, and the other owned by V-Putz. Two sets of pliable, smooth muscles, covered by a deeply tanned epidermis. I understand the two owners will be having a series of contests to see whose muscles are the biggest and best. A swim across the Brisbane River and back, abseiling at Kanga Point with no ropes or harness, a sprint up Mt Coot-Tha, and a BASE jump off the Story Bridge.

* sigh *

Those two, eh?

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Crocko mumbles...

Posted October 14, 2014
Must be a state vs state thing. In Victoria I always knew them as Potato Cakes. But that never stopped them from being compulsory for a serve of fish n chips.

But now I like them with a squeeze of lemon juice so what would I know

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yankeedog reckons...

Posted October 14, 2014
If it's like a potato pancake (basically fried mashed potatoes), then we serve those up here in the Midwest. If it isn't, well, I'd be in for some anyway. Fried 'taters in any incarnation are good!

insomniac ducks in to say...

Posted October 14, 2014
No mashed potato in a scallop. Just a slice of potato covered in batter and deep fried, with no regulation as to the thickness of the slice nor the surface area.
My local has nice big round ones whereas others are a bit stingy - all for the same price.

FormerlyKnownAsSimon mutters...

Posted October 14, 2014
that's what i was trying to ascertain. Are the VIC ones those horrible mashed ones that sit in a bay marie for three hours and that's why they call them cakes?

I have a strict rule - if the mashed ones are served up as a potato scallop i boycott for life. In fact, if a sub standard pscal (just trying to get with the times on partner naming rules) is served up i consider throwing a lit match into the fryer as penance for their blasphemy.

yankeedog swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 14, 2014
Thank you both. Learned something today about the humble potato scallop! Still sounds good.

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insomniac mumbles...

Posted October 14, 2014
On an unrelated matter, someone described the latest Abbott outpouring as "Abbott to shirt lift Putin". Giggity

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dweeze mumbles...

Posted October 14, 2014
All of this noise about cakes vs scallops was hurting my head. So, I did the only logical thing to resolve an argument - bung the words in an anagram maker. From this, the Southern variety yields these gems:
Pack Tea Too
A Cat Toke Op

The Northern variety gives:
Papal Coot Slot
Taco Stall Poop
Total Soap Clop

QED.
So, it's obvious that "Potato Cake" is correct. Who would ever want to munch on a "Papal Coot Slot"? Mmmm, that image just made my head hurt more...

insomniac puts forth...

Posted October 14, 2014
In NZ they are known as a potato fritter. How does that fare in the anagram stakes?

dweeze is gonna tell you...

Posted October 14, 2014
Over in bro-land, that would be:
Fat Trooper Tit

To their credit, the New Zealish chuppers do awesome kumera chups. If we had those here I would happily forgo any future spud cakescallopfritterthings.

Josh reckons...

Posted October 18, 2014

They're potato fritters in South Australia as well.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted October 14, 2014
I'm not sure I understand: are we talking about a raw potato sliced, battered and deep fried? And if so, why is the batter yellow? Is there some kind of cheese-like product involved? Or is the color due to some spice such as turmeric?


Barnesm would have you know...

Posted October 14, 2014
It may have somethign to do with the oil its cooked in, but the frozen ones, like hash browns have a yellow colour to them as well.

Darth Greybeard ducks in to say...

Posted October 14, 2014
Large slice of potato, coated in dubious batter and fried in deeply suspicious oil, then lethally salted. The yellow colour is more likely to be antifreeze than turmeric I'm afraid. Don't worry Paul, next time you're over I'll shout you a plate of them.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted October 14, 2014
Ah! A greasy, salty, fried carb.

American as apple pie.

Halwes would have you know...

Posted October 14, 2014

I would have thought apple pie was English.

NBlob mutters...

Posted October 14, 2014
In fried tuber related news, a USAnian was talking up (sic) Tater Tots. After extensive research I have found that these tasty like nuggets are more properly known to civilised folk as Potato Gems.

damian puts forth...

Posted October 14, 2014
The slice of potato is pre-softened, either by boiling or by freezing and thawing, possibly both. The batter probably has a bit of maize flour in it, it's not a million miles from a dagwood dog* batter. Though in the sort of places that do upmarket takes on trad junk food, a fine tempura batter isn't unknown**. Waxy potato seems to be the rule... there's nothing worse than a dry or powdery one of these. Also, then they've been sitting in a bain marie for more than a handful of hours they are somewhat horrible, but usually insanely cheap and therefore great student sustenance.

* In Australia, or at least Queensland, a dagwood dog is a sausage on a stick dipped in a heavy, maizey batter and deep fried. I assume this is what USAians refer to as a corn dog, but not having tried one of those I couldn't say for sure.

** Though in such cases you'd expect some kind of nifty additional flavouring in the layer between the batter and the potato.

yankeedog ducks in to say...

Posted October 14, 2014
Damian, from what I can tell, Dagwood dog=corn dog.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted October 15, 2014
Thanks, Damian. I get it now. I know what this thing is. And it has an American soul. I view Australian culture as a British/Asian/Southern European pastiche: fish, chips and beer; pasta bolognese and espresso; yum cha and green tea. But very little with an American spirit.

Until I discovered a potato slice dipped in cornmeal batter and then deep fried. Add a bit of fresh grated jalapeno pepper to the batter, pair the end result with any IPA and you may not like us, but you will understand us just a bit better. Whether you want to or not.

Barnesm ducks in to say...

Posted October 15, 2014

"Add a bit of fresh grated jalapeno pepper to the batter" that sounds AMAZING, and must try to make one this weekend. What if I thow in some cheese between the potato and the batter would that enhance the experience do you think.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 15, 2014
You bet. If you can incorporate cheese into it that would be even better. The question is how to do it. Doesn't sound like it would be easy to do if the whole thing is deep fried.

But the jalapeno is easy to add to the batter.

Lulu asserts...

Posted October 15, 2014
PNB, it is possible to deep-fry anything - I know, because I've had deep-fried ice-cream.

NBlob ducks in to say...

Posted October 15, 2014


We live in such a milieu of Americanisms that at times it is hard to seperate the wheat from the crass.


Oz pop-culture is probably 50% USAnian, from Friends to Faith Hill with the remainder being Home Grown or UK sourced. I wasn't around as early as *ahem* some, but just the fact I can sing "There was a little Spanish Flea," the Dating Game theme song & Rawhide probably indicates that it has been such for decades.


Tucker wise, we have representations from USAnian Fast Food; The Colnel has hardened arteries Australia wide and the Burger King has operated under a nom de burger Jack. We have many of your breafast and snacking brands, with strange inexplicable ommitances like Reese's, Pop Tarts Tarts & Frosty Flakes who never got a look in. Root Beer is a perfectly explicable absence; it tastes like distillation of wino arse.


Our Efnic food culture is only slowly moving into the domestic sphere. As I understand it in the 50's a shrimp (prawn) cocktail was the definition of cosmopolitanism. Slowly we adopted rice and pasta dishes. Only in the last 20 or so years curries and stirfrys have appeared on the wider population's home dinner tables. I was quietly pleased to see that The Bobette was cooking herself Laska.


I don't know anyone, without Han heritage who serves green tea or Yum Cha at home.

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted October 15, 2014
I have green tea here. But I'm special.

Barnesm swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 15, 2014
Yes 'special' that's the word for the green tea drinkers.

insomniac mutters...

Posted October 15, 2014
I have peppermint tea. That's a type of green tea, init?

HAVOCK21 asserts...

Posted October 15, 2014
FKN PUSSIES!!!!!!!!!!! TEA!......FKN TEA!.

Hand in the cards and go stand in the aisle with SKIRTS!

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan puts forth...

Posted October 16, 2014
You're just wrong, Bob. And why? Because I am write.

All kidding aside (and you how it pains me to do that) being a dumping ground for American fast food and media doesn't necessarily lead to adopting American culture - unless commercial exploitation is the same thing as culture. Watching the Brady Bunch and knowing the lyrics to Gilligan's Island isn't a reflection of American culture. I know Saudis who adore American soap operas, love Kentucky Fried Chicken and buy their kids UCLA and Stanford hoodies. Culturally they are as far from American as anyone on earth.

Confusing American commerce with American culture is a common analytical error.

What I am talking about is a matter of spirit. There is an American spirit that is distinct from the Australian spirit. A world view. A shared reality. Sitting with a bunch of friends on a farm outside of Noosa eating bacon and bugs cooked on a wood fired grill and the conversation that surrounded the event was an alien experience for me. Any similar event for similar reasons in any part of the US would entail utterly different food and conversation that reflected an utterly different world view.

But a slice of potato dipped in cornmeal batter and deep fried - that is something that embodies a common spirit.
Take a green tomato and do the exact same thing and watch what happens.

I am not saying you don't have divisions. You most certainly do. All I am saying is that, on a visceral level, your potato scallops speak with a voice that is understood clearly and precisely by me and you. If there are those of you who love them, there are those here who would love them here for the same reasons. If there are those of you who hate them, same thing.

A commonality I find quite delightful. Even if ultimately illusory.

Barnesm has opinions thus...

Posted October 16, 2014
Eloquently put.
I think in Mr Boylan we have our 'Alexis de Tocqueville' for the Australian experience.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted October 16, 2014
Who? That sounds like one of them French names. Are you accusing me of sounding French?

Barnesm swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 16, 2014

no sounding per say, but I've seen pictures of you hanging around some of those frenchie types, showing them stuff. Teaching.....

Its suspicious I say

NBlob asserts...

Posted October 17, 2014
Is my learned friend suggesting that this form of fried food might be considered a culinary calligraphy and appreciated as a thing of beauty and evidence of a craftsperson's hand. As an Arab, Persian, Franc, Moor, Boer, Brisbanite or Davisian can look upon traditional Meiji pictograms and see beauty, despite ignorance of the actual semantic content.

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Blarkon would have you know...

Posted October 14, 2014
Pretty sure that "Potato Scallops" must be some sort of Bjelkeism.

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ShaneAlpha ducks in to say...

Posted October 14, 2014
They're called potato scallops because to make scalloped potatoes you slice the potato into disc shaped pieces.

Therefore, you take those pieces,batter and fry and voilà' you have potato scallops.

Bernie mutters...

Posted October 14, 2014
This. Just this and nothing else.
You can't slice your spuds into cakes can you? Huh?

Caked potato? I think not, scalloped potato for the win.

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JG swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 14, 2014
Definitely potato scallops. I also call chips 'chips', not 'fries'.
JG

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Halwes swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 14, 2014

Thank god someone had the guts to say it. On another note, did anyone hear the Riotinto song on Australia all over last Sunday morning. A few local kids made some really good protest music. But, as Bob Dylan said " this land is your land, this land is my land, sure, but the world is run by those that never listen to music anyway"

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MickH would have you know...

Posted October 14, 2014
As a RAAF brat and living in many states as a kid, you soon learn to adaptto the local customs. I used to ask for both in the end.

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damian ducks in to say...

Posted October 14, 2014
I'm not sure exactly what the regional boundaries are - having spent growing up time in Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne and Adelaide and assimilated the dialects from all of them, it's too internal to tell them all apart. But using "potato scallop" and "sea scallop" usually seems to work as far as being sure of the distinction, so I always use the two word forms... and still I'm not 100% sure that "potato scallop" won't draw blank looks in Victoria, where "potato cake" is preferred (I'm still not sure what the correct name for a 750ml bottle of beer is in Victoria).

Sea scallops are of course what the rest of the world calls "scallops", usually inclusive of the (yummy) roe, battered, crumbed and deep fried. The batter seals the meat, which cooks in its own juices while the breadcrumbs crisp up. This means that unless you're careful, biting the end result can spray hot juices all over your shirt. So you bite carefully and suck the juice out, before biting through the delightful adductor muscle meat.

Sea scallops are usually $2 to $3 these days, while potato scallops are still usually around 50 cents*.

* Warning - I haven't actually paid that much attention to the price when ordering fish and chips for years, so this is mostly a bit of a guess

Dick swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 15, 2014
750 ml bottle of beer = longneck

FormerlyKnownAsSimon has opinions thus...

Posted October 16, 2014
we used to call a 750ml bottle an "angry"

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Therbs mutters...

Posted October 15, 2014
<DIV style="BORDER-BOTTOM: medium none; TEXT-ALIGN: left; BORDER-LEFT: medium none; BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff; COLOR: #000000; OVERFLOW: hidden; BORDER-TOP: medium none; BORDER-RIGHT: medium none; TEXT-DECORATION: none">

As Greybeard mentioned at Blunty the word scallop is derived from an old French word, 'escalope'. When Jean-François de Galaup, Comte de Laperouse spent six weeks in Botany Bay in Jan/Feb 1788 he and his host, John Hunter had their cooks produce a dish of "scallop'ed potatoes, immersed in a mixture of flour/egg and fried deeply as to provide a most crisp'd and enjoyable outer jack't". and again on February 4th "our cook once more produced his potato d'escallop".


This was on the north shore of Botany Bay.


Unfortunately the Comte never returned to France to spread the potato scallop message his ships being lost on reefs near Vanikoro in the Solomon Islands. Hunter however eventually became governor of the colony of New South Wales and the potato scallop remains his proudest legacy. And yes, Van Diemen's Land and what is now known as Victoria were part of New South Wales in the late 18th Century.


Thus as has been shown potato scallops originated in the brand new colony and were not called "potato cakes", "gems", "fritters" or "hash browns".



</DIV>

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted October 15, 2014
You made all of that up, didn't you?

Barnesm puts forth...

Posted October 15, 2014
I sometimes think everything I've everexperienced is made up

insomniac asserts...

Posted October 15, 2014
It still appears unclear what the situation is regarding 'potato rostis'.

Therbs swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 15, 2014

Some say I spent some time up at the State Library rifling through our host's "Leviathan" notes. Others believe I accessed primary sources, notably the journals and correspondence of Messrs Hunter and Tench. The Boylan School believes otherwise. All I can say is that if the brave Comte had not disappeared then bonds born of gastronomy would have further enriched the verdant cultures of France and Australia.

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Darth Greybeard mutters...

Posted October 15, 2014
Thanks Therbs. I hope I speak for all of us when I say that's the best comment/explanation on this subject ever. Fellow Burgers, I believe that is the last word that need be said. Potato (e)Scallops it is.

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Therbs has opinions thus...

Posted October 15, 2014

Ah, bien. Merci M. le Greybeard.


Fin

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HAVOCK21 mutters...

Posted October 15, 2014
Scallops. OMFG, you bunch of fkn heathen air steelin fkn backwards rednecked fkn HICKS FFSAKES!


POTATO FKN CAKES!....NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! FKN Scallops....fk me!

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HAVOCK21 asserts...

Posted October 15, 2014
Did I mention that my Butter Chicken is DA BOMB!

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted October 16, 2014
Yes. You've said that over and over again like an old man telling war stories.

Therbs is gonna tell you...

Posted October 16, 2014

No Havsy, they're potato scallops. You lose.

Barnesm would have you know...

Posted October 17, 2014

I am referring to them as Birmingham's from now on

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Blake ducks in to say...

Posted October 17, 2014
Growing up south of the border meant we always called them cakes, although as Mickh and co pointed out above you must acclimatise quickly or you miss out on the experience of the scollop/cake and that is by far more important than a name. Did not that bard write a potato scollop by any other name...?

Unfortunately we struggled for years after the move to deal with the more subtle differences. Many Qld fishy proprietors would select a mass market variety which came from a large blue/white box. Unfortunately the taste and texture was not all that divergent from the receptacle from which it came.

As a employee at such an establishment, the boss did experiment with a homemade variety in fish batter. The inside was as soft as a Victorian but the batter let it down. Whilst many flocked to the new style what surprised me was that many preferred the older style. The qlders had become accustomed to the harder conditions and unnatural texture.

Each to their own.

Of course thats not the only battle of fish and chip culture across the border. Fish down south always invariably meant flake (how can that be! Its not even a fish) but in qld you get a selection with cod being the most common (and my former employee would cross label his fish wnen he ran out anyway)
Also in qld steamed dim sims are too asian so they are almost always deep fried and come in not just the small familiar variety but also a larger yellow type seldom seen down south.

Barnesm ducks in to say...

Posted October 17, 2014

I also recall in QLD that the dim sim's batter/wrap was this almost cadmium yellow and with tips so razor sharp you could cut your cheek on them.

Quite the suprise to move to Melbourne and discovered fried dim sim can be so soft and flavoursome.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted October 17, 2014
The best Australian yum cha can be found in Melbourne.

sibeen would have you know...

Posted October 17, 2014
The best Australian everything can be found in Melbourne; including potato fucking cakes!

w from brisbane has opinions thus...

Posted October 17, 2014
Brisbane has the best suchi. Visitors have commented to me, Brisbane is weird because you see so many people walking around eating suchi.
I say to them, try one.
They say, Wow! This is delicious!
Yep.

I have tried them in other Australian cities. They are crap.
A friend of my daughter who is studying in Melbourne was only saying a couple of weeks ago, she loves the city but has tried every suchi dispenser she can find and has yet to find one half as good as the average Brissie suchi.
It's a Brisbane thing. The competitive baseline suchi standard is very high and you have to meet it to survive. Usually about $2.20 each. Buy 2 and it is a nice, filling, right-sized lunch.

Barnesm reckons...

Posted October 18, 2014
what's a suchi,? until I read your post W I had never head of them

damian asserts...

Posted October 18, 2014
Paul, while many types of steamed or deep-fried dumplings are part of the yum cha experience, and Chinese restaurants definitely serve items with the same name which were the original inspiration, there is still a distinct, vaguely westernised or rather Australianised thing called a "dim sim", which is not really itself a part of yum cha.

The dim sim is a (usually deep fried, but sometimes steamed) mass-produced item supplied frozen by a wholesaler to a fish-and-chip-shop or other takeaway food retail business, much in the same way as the Chiko Roll, which it resembles (and with which it shares Chinese inspiration if not actually heritage). These items are on a similar level with the topical potato scallop, available in all fish and chip shops (more or less).

This is alongside generic premium fish (labelled snapper or barramundi), generic standard fish (labelled cod) and shark meat (labelled flake). On a mass market level all fish is imported, because Australian fish stocks collapsed in the late 90s and will never recover. There is essentially no Australian fishing industry now, short a few boutique upmarket suppliers and cottage-industry level stuff. It was known this would happen, steps were proposed to curtail overfishing, these were rejected as a ridiculous greenie overreaction and fish stocks subsequently collapsed. I think the collapse is still blamed on greenies stopping fishing, rather than the absence of fish, in the usual blame-the-messenger fashion. All I can say is people are idiots and I have no patience at all for this stuff.

It's definitely worth taking a look at the wikipedia articles on "dim sim" and "chiko roll" to properly understand that these are "traditional" (for values thereof that refer to established 20th century popular culture) Australian junk food. I think you'll appreciate the cosmopolitan roots to this stuff.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted October 19, 2014
Marvelous info. But dim sim sounds awful. I must try it on my next visit.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted October 19, 2014
I distinctly remember that about Brisbane (but isn't it spelled "sushi?" I googled "suchi" and didn't come up with anything a person could eat).

w from brisbane is gonna tell you...

Posted October 19, 2014
Oh dear, I was spelling it wrong. Sorry. Sushi, not suchi. That would explain Barnesm's mystification. My bad.
That's weird though. I think I used to spell it correctly. That file must have got corrupted.

insomniac has opinions thus...

Posted October 19, 2014
Paul, if you want to try the true abomination, don't go for the takeaway delight, try the home brand version from the supermarket. On a good day it will be like deep fried dog food.

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NBlob reckons...

Posted October 19, 2014
Damian.
"On a mass market level all fish is imported, because Australian fish stocks collapsed in the late 90s and will never recover."
Interesting comment from several ways.

damian ducks in to say...

Posted October 19, 2014
NBob I'm happy to be corrected or even contradicted on this topic, as I'm not exactly up to date nor especially well informed. But I've noted that local fish is in the premium 10% or less today, or else being sold on the side of the road next to the creek with a trawler moored on a falling-down jetty, or not much more advanced than that. In the early 90s my then-girlfriend's step-dad was an economist in the fed Dept of Fisheries, not exactly a greenie but .... well anyway in those days it was pretty well understood how far we could go and expect the stocks to recover in our lifetimes, and we were on track to push the intensive fishing further than that point. Myunderstanding is that all restraint dissolved in '96. This seems to explain the current situation around imports to me.

So like I say, I'd be delighted to be contradicted. But also surprised.


NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted October 19, 2014
FRDC suggests in 00-01
47% (by mass) of seafood consumed in Aust in domestically produced.
Almost 30% of Aust product exported, partially due to taste (Blech de mere) partially $, Australians won't pay $80/kg for trout. Ditto some of our very low value "shit-fish" exports.

The bad news:
Indoubidably some (too many) fisheries were destroyed by a perverse investment cycle. Orange Ruffy & Pacific Yellow Fin Tuna being a text book examples. When biomass is decimated, potential for stock recovery is dubious. Also we have very limited understanding of inter-species interactions. A classic example is Sea Otter-kelp-urchin relationship.

The good news.
Catch per unit effort seems to be plateauing, which Can be read as validation of management techniques. Some (SOME) of the inshore fisheries most vilified are actually the most sustainable. Classic example is some specific inshore netting fisheries: if the stocks were in decline, catches would plummet when similar effort is put in. But I see catches remain the same year in year out, same nets, same boats, same operators.

NBlob ducks in to say...

Posted October 19, 2014
https://seafood.net.au/quality/ass.php

damian mumbles...

Posted October 19, 2014
Yeah the message I got was that for many (most) specific stocks, once the threshold was hit the recovery prospect was measured in centuries. Very happy about the "good news", but is this stuff we see as nice to eat?

NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted October 19, 2014
Inshore netted whiting. (Not trawl)
Double A++ quality if not over cooked. I think I'd trade whiting fillets kg for kg for almost anything. 100% sustainable.

NBlob is gonna tell you...

Posted October 19, 2014
While we are talking about such matters, while it is very hard to accurately asses any wild stocks & marine species to the power of N.
Estimates are Humpbacks got down to 6% pre-whaling stocks. Now back up to 70%, apparently %100 by 2030.

Ahem
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-10-16/humpback-whale-trapped-in-shark-net-off-qld-coast/5818766


damian would have you know...

Posted October 19, 2014
This is cool. I like whiting.

When I see that $2.4 billion figure, I'm tempted to assume we're looking at more than a few stocks that are already dead and we're just squeezing the last drips out. But that's next to $12 billion for beef. Not sure where that fits with expectations.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted October 20, 2014
At what point will whale stocks rebound so that they can be eaten again?

NBlob would have you know...

Posted October 20, 2014
"Whales" is far to broad a term.
Blue, Minke, Fin & Sei - no.
Southern Wright - maybe, but because they are so cranky you have my blessing.
Australian eastern seaboard humpbacks-
Go for it. By any measure their population is in far better shape than most of the pelagic sharks and any of the big tuna.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted October 20, 2014
I'll ask a Japanese marine biologist mate of mine which are the most tasty. I suspect he knows from experience.

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Worst. Opposition. Ever

Posted October 7, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

At le Instrument.

It might be time to move on from bitching and moaning about the Worst Government Ever, to pondering the possibility that we're also living in the golden age of the Worst Opposition Ever. Some of the worserer newspapers with the dumberest readers made jolly sport a few weeks ago when the Daeshi bandits of ISIS hacked their way into public awareness, solemnly intoning the reliable old chestnut about evil only requiring that good men do nothing before it can get its extra sparkly disco pants on.

But what about the Worst Government Ever? What does it need to boogie oogie oogie until it simply cannot boogie no more?

The answer's simple. The tin-hearted, morally bankrupt ALP of the modern era.


49 Responses to ‘Worst. Opposition. Ever’

insomniac puts forth...

Posted October 7, 2014
After seeing Chris Bowen on the weekend, it reoccurred to me that people like him, Albo, Tanya are all pretty direct speakers, but Bill waffles on a bit and introduces too many hokey sayings into his press conferences. Is that a result of overly excessive focus group crap, or is that just Bill? It would be interesting to see if the former people mentioned would change their speaking style upon assuming the leadership if focus groups really do have that much influence. People want to hear things straight and not spun.

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Barnesm would have you know...

Posted October 7, 2014
Still trying to post of at Blunty, however I think the satirical site The_Shovel captured the current ALP strategy in this piece.

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Darth Greybeard reckons...

Posted October 7, 2014
I don't give a rat's arse about "small targets" or governments being voted out rather than in. I want a political party that will say "This is Australia, we don't run concentration camps with kids." Surely whatever your opinion on where asylum seekers should end up, years in those filthy hell-holes shouldn't be on the list? If we can chuck $40M to a pack of corrupt war criminals in Cambodia to take 5 people, surely we can spend it on faster cheaper on-shore processing?

Shorten is so weak I wonder at times if Abbott has something on him. Our collective weakness for the Strong Man leader will see Abbott into a second term, even if he destroys our manufacturing industries, privacy, press freedom, sells the ABC, Medicare and whistles up racism everywhere. I think LBJ said "I'll tell you what's at the bottom of it. If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you."

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted October 7, 2014
I didn't realize that LBJ let that little secret formula to divide, conquer and exploit the poor slip.

NBlob is gonna tell you...

Posted October 7, 2014

I have it from a very good, if slightly batsh!t crazy source that PNB is retained & empanelled by a Conspiracy of Arsewits, serving on their Global Brains Trust . He is tasked with straw man thatching, herring reddening & is one of the consulting architects for logical fallacies & legal constructs.


You know it makes sense.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted October 7, 2014
That's crazy talk.

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Barnesm swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 7, 2014
You had my vote at ""This is Australia, we don't run concentration camps with kids."

NBlob asserts...

Posted October 7, 2014

Did you hear <A href="http://www.abc.net.au/am/content/2014/s4101614.htm">AM this morning</A>?


"It's taken decades but it's hoped the last group of Vietnamese boat people who fled after the war will be resettled in a third country this week.
The Vietnamese nationals have been living stateless in Thailand since the late 1980s but now have almost all the documentation needed to start a new life in Canada.
There they will be allowed to work and for the first time, their children will go to school."


There but for the grace of Dog...


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Barnesm asserts...

Posted October 7, 2014

is there a problem at the bluntie?

I thought there would have been more comments on a topic like this one, or is it too confusing for the LNP supporters to comment on a blog that says Labor sucks. Would have thought that was their pervue.

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Rob puts forth...

Posted October 7, 2014

JB. I totally agree with everything you wrote. I would vote Green but they showed their true colours down here in Tasmania and were found wanting.

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HAVOCK21 reckons...

Posted October 7, 2014
Cannot get into BT at the mo:

Watching the comments lately about both the current government, the previous and what’s taking place both in the ME and within our own borders, I have noticed quite a vast sum of people squealing. I say squealing and classify that as objecting to what was done or what is now being done.
And why do I call it squealing, well for the most part, that’s what happens when somebody objects to something but has not alternative to offer that is remotely feasible. Pissing and moaning might well better categorise them, so in light of this, I’d like to see the floor opened up to the masses to put forward their ALTERNATIVES of the following:

1 ISIS- what do they propose we do in Iraq and with the fight against ISIS in general?
2 The boat people, where do we process them and how do we process them. That means, under what circumstances are they allowed into the country and if you let them in, in greater numbers, how do you plan to fund it, what jobs and how do we create them and where do they get settled. (I’m not asking to a plan capable of actually being fully implemented as JB blog would not have enough space. But I want some answers, some broad sketching with at least enough detail to show the thought process has actually taken place)
3 We know that ISIS is operating across the Syrian / Iraqi border and that at the moment the IRAQI’s are simply not capable of stopping them. Are we wasting our money on bombing that’s really largely not going to work? Should we increase boots on the ground with a view to severing the border logistics line and then handing over the zone to the Iraqi army?

Now I have not invoked the “the only thing for fkn evil to triumph “line, but I do want an answer to the question: If we choose not to send troops and aircraft, then others do the same and later on we have to face a much larger threat, perhaps even after an event and all, let’s remember Bali and a boat load of other events (lets call them attacks actually). How will we have justified sitting on our collective hands, what’s the point where the threat is sufficient, is it to only ourselves, is it to other states, is sending our troops over there to forestall such attacks warranted ever? And that’s the larger question. At what point do we do something.
After all, this is not a roll out of pink bats scheme or any number of the other ones that failed. And here’s one more question.
Should we simply be looking at what we wish to do, I suspect to a degree like we are now doing, lets not be overly concerned about the rest, but having decided that action of some sort needs to be taken and having further established it’s of a military nature, then we should engage directly with the IRAQI’s as we are now doing. It’s their country and they are our troops, so liaison between the two directly is as it should be in my opinion. We do better when we do it ourselves and that also includes deciding on who we attack, where we attack and how we attack, mated squarely on how we operate, where we operated and the overall methodology for that. The US is a power house, but when it comes to the holistic approach to modern counter insurgency operations they are shithouse and a rather blunt instrument, dare I say it, much like the ALP in opposition at the moment. Whenever the go forward, they are, largely ineffective and simply cause themselves more harm than good. The Specialist well that’s something entirely different and I’ll not slag off the foot fella, he’s doing as he is directed.by and large, it’s the senior commanders and the political restraints imposed upon them, by persons far removed from the conflicts with little or no appreciation of what’s actually required at ground zero.

Barnesm reckons...

Posted October 7, 2014

Do you recall how many refugees arrived in Australia after the Cambodia crisis. The bipartisan solution saw them processed and settled in Australia. I don't recall it generating huge costs, nothing like the billions it is costing for the current overseas solution.

We didn't have a refugee crisis.

Barnesm asserts...

Posted October 7, 2014


With regard to Daesh, I don't think its bombs or nothing.

There have been a few proposals put forward by people who work in the area of middle east politics which have proposed strategies for containment, strengthening structures in surrounding countries, supporting those elements of Islam which oppose the action of Daesh and letting the people in Iraq see what a bunch of bearded nutjobs they are when they are in charge.

I can not see how repeating what we have done before in Iraq and has seen the rise in Daesh in the first place we can expect a different outcome THIS time.

Recent reports would seem to suggest that the most significant outcome of the bombing campaign to date is a rise in the numbers of young dissaffected youths flocking to the Daesh cause.

HAVOCK21 asserts...

Posted October 7, 2014

The trouble is, if we take the other medium to long term road, I’m fairly certain that we will lose a significant portion of Iraq if not the majority and exponentially increase the ISIS reach and hold. I think, that as a result of people mentioning Vietnam and the likes that the west has made the very large mistake of opting for a clean and far less risking air campaign.
What should have taken place here, was a rapid closing of the Syrian and Iraqi border by light mechanised troops, with close air support and I mean choppers. ISIS will not have a night fighting capability like western teams will and that’s a very large advantage, I’m also wondering what pressure was put on the other ARAB states too, not enough in my opinion.
But sitting back, jawing in this case, I think is and was fundamentally wrong and will ultimately cost more lives. The AIR PATROLS and STRIKES are a joke.

Barnesm has opinions thus...

Posted October 7, 2014

I think you are right and a military commitment to the Syrian/iraq border might have been a better way to go. The problem is air patrols and strikes are easy and quick and the government can look like they are doing something, unlikely as it is to work.

Its probably why our government hasn't been as quick to support efforts to control Ebola in Africa. Air patrols and air strikes just wont work and no one in the public could be convienced they would work no matter how much they trumpet it on the front page..

beeso mumbles...

Posted October 8, 2014
I'll take your challenge MR Havock, as soon as you accept mine. Sketch out a plan to reduce the deaths by domestic violence in australia to 5% of what they are now, using a tenth of the money spent on this little foray into the middle east.

Halwes mutters...

Posted October 8, 2014

How is money going to end deaths by domestic violence? Everyone already knows it's pissweak and wrong to bash anyone weaker than themselves. I do think that we don't reflect hard enough on our collective decision to send troops to kill people in our name though. We are effectively at war and we are, rightly or wrongly, wreaking carnage in another country but you wouldn't know it by talking to most Australians. The thing about killing other people and destroying their homes is that it legitimises their hatred of us and their eventual revenge.

beeso asserts...

Posted October 8, 2014
We jumped off and committed massive resources to war in another part of the world in an instant. Domestic violence is arguably an easier recognised threat to human life, but just sits there, solved by the, oh well don't hit people mantra.

While http://www.politifact.com/punditfact/statements/2014/oct/07/gloria-steinem/steinem-more-women-killed-partners-911-deaths-atta/ this is a bit simplistic, it highlights the disparity between actual outcomes and good political PR.

We are going to iraq why? To defend our way of life? Yet an easily identifiable risk to human life, right here and now, that has been the same for decades, just keeps ticking over.

Ranty Peanut ducks in to say...

Posted October 8, 2014

http://wartard.blogspot.com.au/2014/09/the-idea-of-isis-history-and-future-of.html
http://wartard.blogspot.com.au/2014/10/the-west-v-isis-air-strikes-just-mean_6.html

On points 1 and 3.

Before anything else, the two links above provide an excellent potted history of where these Daeshi fuckwits came from, who the major local players are, and so on.

Second, I'll take it as a given that "something" ought to be done (by the USA and willing allied governments) about the Daeshi arseholes' destabilisation of the region's existing power balance. People can make arguments for and/or against if they like. I'm not doing that here.

(Really, read at least the "history and future" post. It's a passing fancy to entertain the notion of letting the Saudi ratbastards be hoist on their own Daeshi petard.)

Daesh obviously wants the USA (et alia) to bomb them - the have a very slick media team and they aren't stupid. They know exactly what taunting the USA comes to: Drones and bombs. They'll do as expected and filter into the civilian population. They have few to no permanent bases. Little to no infrastructure. The prospect that dropping bombs on them will significantly degrade their fighting ability is remote. They'll do what their predecessors have done and fade into the civilian population. The USA will bomb hideouts and weapon caches, training camps and SUV convoys. In the process they will doubtless kill more civilians and destroy more civilian infrastructure than they will damage Daesh. Daeshi shitsmears will turn the results of bombings into recruitment material, to attract more fighters, more money, have other organisations ally with them, and carry the Daesh mind-virus farther and farther afield.

Daesh is more than disaffected ex-army fuckstains with AKs and blunt knives. The most dangerous aspect is the idea of Daesh - its existence, relevance, potential.

Bombs will not stop this idea.

Daesh needs to (be seen to) destroy itself.

To do that, there's some political decisions to be made. Who do we want in Syria? Are we willing to prop Assad up against the revolutionary elements we were praising not so long ago? Iran has zero love for Daesh: Can we do an about face and work with Iran to stabilise, and not by having us just stomp in again an overthrow their government? Help Iran will give the Saudi's the massive shits. Are we willing to kick those retrograde fuckers in the nuts and inform them that, while they have a fucktonne of oil, they need to stop sending Shia-haters money, or else we'll see how good their succession planning is. When we finish kicking their scrote up into their nasal cavity, we can turn to Israel and let them know that it time to work for a stable region, instead of constantly shitting in the punchbowl. Turkey, Iraq and the Kurds are close to an agreement anyway. Push for an independent/autonomous Kurdistan.

Apart from that sort of long-term political moves, we can address the immediate problems too.

Instigate Surge 2 - Electric Boogaloo and put every Sunni tribe in the region on the US payroll. It will cost four fifths of fuck all compared to the war options. Pay them more than they can expect from joining/not opposing Daesh and there go all the easy victories for the Army of Criminal Wankers.

The Iraqi PM needs to come to terms with the idea of having a country of both Shia and Sunni, and that shitting all over the Sunni population is a bad idea. That muppet can have that idea crammed into his skull at any time, or, frankly, replace him with someone that can. Give the Sunnis a reason to give a shit about Iraq again, instead of being politically excluded. That, or get used to the idea of two new Iraqs.

Give the Sunnis very real and immediate reasons for not joining Daesh in the forms of carrots. Not sticks.

Next, attack Daeshi money supply. They're selling oil. Make it clear that buying Daeshi oil has Consequences. They're getting money from Saudi, from Yemen, from fuck knows where. Set the accountancy bloodhounds on them - forensic accountants informing the police, resulting in nasty SWAT raids on suit-wearing fuckstains in boardrooms and office blocks.

Freeze bank accounts - they're (allegedly) the most well funded group of arsebastards in the world. They can't rely on cash, surely. Find their banks, take their money. Find out who's laundering their money. Take them out of the picture. Dry up their money supply.

Last, you have access to some of the best trained, best equipped special forces in history - hook that up with all the intel a modern superpower can hoover up. ID the nexus points and take them out - without fanfare, without bluster, just cold, quiet, and very, very specific. No drones. No bombs. Something personal. Maybe a US Marine Raider Stiletto to the base of the skull.

None of that plays well in the media, and doesn't really cram massive amounts of cash into the pockets of the leeches and parasites that infest the military-industrial complex. If you're not blowing the everloving shit out of everything, Halliburton can't charge you $2,000 per brick and sell you concrete at $50 a gallon when rebuilding it.


As for boat people, we change our visa system enough so that asylum seekers can actually get on a plane instead of a boat. We employ (many, many) more assessors in the Immigration department, and we house asylum seekers on the mainland, give them all the medical help they need. Treat them as probably traumatised people fleeing repression, as potential productive Australians in need of help, not condemned criminals fit only for being confined to disease-ridden concentration camps in tropical hell-holes. These people already have job skills, it's not like they some kind of uneducated ignorant fucking savages. Have a government actually interested in full employment again, rather than captive to business interests that demand an unemployment rate high enough to put significant downward pressure on wages. Have government interested and willing to invest in having a highly educated populace. And, if instead of firing Tax department employees who are out there hunting down owed taxes from corporate criminals, we hire more of them and force the likes of Apple and Murdoch's Empire of Shit Media to actually pay what they owe, and return to Australia's Social Democratic past to have a sensible progressive tax system, we can afford all of it. Plus a pony and even a fucking ice cream.

[pant]
[pant]
[pant]

Slightly more incoherent and ranty than intended, but I can't be arse editing. Enjoy.

Halwes swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 8, 2014
Gees there are some thinkers on here. The contributions to this blog would even make Christopher Pyne think again. If he ever read them and if he could think.

NBlob swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 8, 2014
Ranty Peanut.
Good. That's good.
Let the rant fill you, feel the fire coursing through you.
The next stage is to visualise the rant as vortices of pure energy. See the eddies and flow.
Rant masters have been known to use that energy to levitate and allegedly eventually to strike down opponents.

NBlob mumbles...

Posted October 8, 2014
Sorry, my snark sometimes runs amok.



Darth Greybeard mutters...

Posted October 8, 2014
Peanut for PM.

damian has opinions thus...

Posted October 9, 2014
That's okay, the world needs more amok smugglers.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted October 9, 2014
Peanut said:

"Can we do an about face and work with Iran to stabilise [sic] and not by
having us just stomp in again an overthrow their government"

Yes, of course we can, and we are. It is happening now. Our theoretical concern about the destabilizing effect of Iranian nuclear weapons has been displaced by the very real and present desire to provide Europe with an alternative to Russian natural gas - and the Iranian natural gas reserves are enormous.

It is a very exciting negotiation, much more exciting than the monodimensional discussion over the price necessary to purchase the Iranian nuclear weapon threat. That threat was, at best, a far future occurrence, whereas, at this very moment, the winter chill is creeping into an economically depressed and rapidly disintegrating European Union.

AuntyLou asserts...

Posted October 9, 2014
Bravo Ranty Peanut! Well ranted! I think you have quite nicely put forward some excellent points. Now if only someone with actual power would listen. Ah well...guess we will just have to keep shouting at the darkness.....
PNB - glad to hear that some semblance of sense has entered the Iran debate. Now if someone could just apply sense to the Saudi question. But they are our pally-wallies.

Ranty Peanut mumbles...

Posted October 9, 2014
Paul quotes
" [...] stabilise [sic] [...]"

Only good "Z"'s a dead "Z". :P

...and good. Because, frankly, if I've had any thoughts that the Powers That Be haven't already been presented with then we might all as well give up.

I'm not even a "proper" nut - just a ground nut, not one of those bloody high-and-mighty tree nuts.

Darth Greybeard would have you know...

Posted October 9, 2014
Don't be afraid to be a proper nut. There's rather a lot of them around here but even the sane and sensible ones like me don't mind.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 9, 2014
Sorry about the [sic]. It is a professional habit that I realize looks very dickish.

NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted October 9, 2014

Not significantly more dickish than the fish tie you wear.

Ranty Peanut reckons...

Posted October 9, 2014
Nah, all good. Figured the [sic] was just because of US Cultural Imperialist<tm> "Z" infection. :)

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Halwes would have you know...

Posted October 7, 2014
I don't think that anyone who lived through the last 10 years in Australia expects governments to act in the peoples best interests and not their own. I certainly see as little merit in the competencies of either side. We live in an age of Murdochism where the great unwashed believe anything fed to them. As a lefty I broadly agree with Mr Havocs post but if I was an ALP member I would have to vehemently counter these excellent questions with spin doctor bullshit. I will say this though. Our lefty people are infinitely nicer than their right wing people. We believe in a fair go for everyone, they believe in winner takes all. We believe in collectivism and they believe in individualism. We believe in socialised medicine and they would feed us the American experience. Our women are the earth mothers who nurture and tend their families and communities and their women fuck like there is no tomorrow. Which side am I on again?

HAVOCK21 has opinions thus...

Posted October 7, 2014
Is the risk factor different to us, depending on where we take refugee's from and is the social integration and sustainment costs higher? I'm curious, Cambodian V Sudan, V afghani, V Iraqi V somali, are they all the same?

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HAVOCK21 puts forth...

Posted October 7, 2014
Is the risk factor different to us, deopending on where we take refugee's from and is the social intergration and sustainment costs higher? I'm curious, Cambodian V Sudan, V afghani, V Iraqi V somali, are they all the same?

Barnesm mumbles...

Posted October 7, 2014

Thats an interesting question, also is there a culture lag on this side. Was it easier to intergrate in 80s, or 90s than it is now?

insomniac mumbles...

Posted October 7, 2014
Even with the current xenophobic chatter, most people wouldn't know someone was a refugee unless it was spelled out in crayon, so integration in terms of not being outed is probably easier than actual assimilation into society.

Barnesm mumbles...

Posted October 7, 2014
Aren't we making them wear big neon illegal immigrant labels? Wasn't that part of the recent legislation for TPVs?

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HAVOCK21 is gonna tell you...

Posted October 7, 2014
That’s interesting because I have spent the last20 minutes on and off thinking about this. TWO things we use to detect people and that is typically eye sight and noise or the person’s accent. So a person from the Sudan typically has far darker skin, more so than a person from Cambodia and let’s remember they have been here longer as a rule. And the issue of voice does not then really present itself. Also, have you notices that the average height of Sudanese youths seems to be quite tall. That’s another small factor in standing out in the crowd.

So if you then adopt the position that a reasonable proportion of the populous are racially skewed in the wrong direction, be it through ignorance or other more dangerous reasons, then having a presence where you are very readily identifiable unfortunately does not help. And short of trimming the legs, I wish I had an immediate answer.
I think it’s a time process, keep pushing and keep telling the community what is acceptable, but I also think, depending on where they have come from and the circumstances of their arrival we must tailor the integration process for this. If we do not, the integration fails, segregation succeeds and we have a divided community………… and that’s dangerous in our current climate.

Barnesm mutters...

Posted October 7, 2014
I think whilst there have been problems, historically Australia has done better than some country's at integrating immigrants. I have no idea why given how much shit they have been given when they arrive.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted October 7, 2014
Barnes - institutional racism/bigotry is not relevant unless coupled with widespread societal racism/bigotry. Sure, you give them hell before and as they arrive, but you provide a reasonably fair playing field after that.

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Chaz mutters...

Posted October 7, 2014
As soon as someone starts quoting Russel Brand as a font of all wisdom you know the comment thread is FK'd

Darth Greybeard mutters...

Posted October 7, 2014
I think Comic Sans is the font of all wisdom?

I don't like Russell Brand much. That "joke" on Andrew Sachs was cruel, gross and utterly uncalled for. Having said that, humans are complex beasts and I have found some of his comments sensible, accurate and bitterly angry about things which deserve anger. There are people I like whose beliefs seem illogical and destructive and people I don't like who have the same social justice triggers I do.

There are plenty of complaints about the composition of our current Senate but it's been interesting to see that even people like Leyonhjelm or Day or Muir (god bless him) and even Clivasaurus can, just sometimes, support a sensible idea. Before going back to barking mad. Considering our near-invisible opposition, this loopy Senate might be the best hope of minimising the "IPA list" damage of Abbott's first term.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted October 7, 2014
I adore Russell Brand. He is very wise.

Barnesm ducks in to say...

Posted October 7, 2014
When they announced with High confidence that the Higgs Boson had been found the physicists used comic sans font. They then petitioned Microsoft to change the name to cosmic sans.

Chaz puts forth...

Posted October 8, 2014

Greg, the problem is I think he's very false. I don't truly think he believes what he says but is doing it to be maintain a media presence. But yes the Andrew Sachs gag shows the sort of person he is.

Paul, think you mean Bertrand Russel!!


Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 8, 2014
Chaz - one of these days you and I will lift a pint together. But until then, bugger off: I know the difference between Russell Brand and Bertrand Russel - one of them is gay; the other had weird sex with Katie Perry. And I do mean weird: I have pictures to prove it. That poor woman. My heart goes out to her. No one should be forced, by love, to endure such machinations.

Barnesm mumbles...

Posted October 8, 2014
Wow never new he had it in him. Did it involve a teapot?

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Des would have you know...

Posted October 8, 2014
Best Blunty i have read in ages….funny how this trend in Labor was already under way when we were at UQ back in the eighties…even then it was clear that the top end of the party (of which uni politics is the petri dish) was being overtaken by sociopathic little monsters and hacks…and here we are a quarter of a century later, with Shorten (another strange Jesuit like Tony), and Anastasia as the state opposition leader…one might have thought that in between there would be some intervening change of direction. i suppose Latham might have been that moment, had it not been for Latham's own wiring problems.

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Respond to 'Worst. Opposition. Ever'

Protecting our precious thingies from teh Muzlims

Posted September 30, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Telling, that the first kommunt on today's Blunty is from somebody who could miss the point for Straya at the 'lympics'.

Like you, I often find myself wandering the streets of our fair city wondering, what can I do to protect our precious Aussie way of life?

"Heaps!" is the answer, especially if I'm carrying a can of spray paint and there's a handy mosque nearby. Nothing threatens our precious Aussie ways and freedoms as much as a nearby mosque that hasn't been spray painted with slogans like "Get the fuck out of our country".

To which Dave replies:

""We didn't fight Hitler at Gallipoli just so a bunch of ... yadda yadda yadda"

Well ... that's because we didn't actually fight him at Gallipoli, the Gallipoli campaign was WW1, during WW2 in Hitler's reign Turkey was neutral.

Goddammit John check your history before publishing.

27 Responses to ‘Protecting our precious thingies from teh Muzlims’

Cintamani puts forth...

Posted September 30, 2014
that first comment reminded me of this site - http://literallyunbelievable.org/

It never ceases to amaze me just how idiotic some ppl can be, and how easily 'offended' when uncomfortable truths are pointed out to them

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Lulu swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 30, 2014
Sometimes it's a bit difficult to tell the difference between Blunt commenters who are genuinely obtuse and those who are mocking the obtuseness of others.

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insomniac would have you know...

Posted September 30, 2014
Someone also made the excellent point that it's only the Christian god botherers who turn up at your door early in the morning trying to convert you.
Attention Jehovah's Witnesses: If I answer the door in my jammies, don't say "I know you're busy, but ... ". If I was busy, I wouldn't be wearing the jammies.

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FormerlyKnownAsSimon puts forth...

Posted September 30, 2014
That was a brilliant piece, even though the typical aussie bogan is such an easy target. Needs to be said sometimes. Technically we did fight against Hitler in WW1 just not at that steep beach place. And not against him personally, seeing he was just one of the Hun hordes.

I'm in two minds about the amount of sarcasm on twitter like those ASIO tweets. Sure it's piss funny but i wonder if it is counterproductive sometimes - like signing your name to an online petition, just a useless waste of time - you send a cutting remark on twitter with the latest hashtag about the impending police state and you feel like you have done your bit for standing up to the man. Then the man just keeps on doing what he does best because, hell, everyone is at home on twitter instead of doing something about it.

On saying that - i can also see the benefit. There is nothing like ridicule to make something insignificant - like the reaction to the frightbat thing. The satire makes it look ridiculous and you can't be scared of something that is laughable.

FormerlyKnownAsSimon mumbles...

Posted September 30, 2014
oh and one more thing - ties in nicely with the Terry Pratchett post the other day.
Whilst meandering around that link to the reasons to read Pratchett, the quotes page has this from Small Gods:

"Fear is a strange soil. Mainly it grows obedience like corn, which grows in rows and makes weeding easy. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground"

I don't mean to put him into an already premature grave but he will be one of the first people i will have to tip a drink to when he goes. Never do that over public figures (unless i know them personally . . . which i don't). I've invested so much time in his books that you feel like you have been exposed to the inner workings of brilliance.

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Surtac puts forth...

Posted September 30, 2014

Yes I read that first communt this morning and nearly sprayed coffee all over the laptop.

I know I shouldn't read the communts, but sometimes I can't look away.


Spanner asserts...

Posted October 1, 2014
I know I shouldn't read the comments. I know I will be disappointed and angry with myrself for reading the comments. But I read them anyway and blame JB because no way is it my fault that I feel angry and stupid for reading the comments.

Darth Greybeard mumbles...

Posted October 1, 2014
(it'ss your fault Ssspanner. it'ss alwayss your fault. allllwayss.)

Respond to this thread

Moz is vewy, vewy afrayd. mumbles...

Posted September 30, 2014
Gold, My Birmingham, just gold. And thank you for the Myall Creek reminder.

Did you spot Ms Vanstone putting the elbow in yesterday? I was shocked, much as I was when Mr Ruddock did similar last month. It does seem remarkable that we now have two former Liberal munsters of detention saying they think Mr Morrison might perhaps have gone a little too far.

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yankeedog mutters...

Posted September 30, 2014
""We didn't fight Hitler at Gallipoli just so a bunch of ... yadda yadda yadda"
<font color="#333333">
</font>
<font color="#333333">Well, I got news for you. This whole thing with the Muslims isn't over. Nothing is over until we SAY it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?!? Hell no!

(Germans?)

(Forget it, he's rolling...)</font>
<font color="#333333">
</font>
<font color="#333333">And it ain't over now! 'Cause when the going gets tough, the tough get going! Who's with me? Let's go!</font>
<font color="#333333">
</font>
<font color="#333333">What the fuck happened to the Australia I used to know? Where's the guts, huh? This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you're gonna let it be the worst. "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you, Yankeedog, we might get in trouble." Well, just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this! ISIL, they're dead! Al-Qaeda, dead! Niedermeyer...</font>
<font color="#333333">
</font>
<font color="#333333">Ah! Always wanted that bit from 'Animal House' for something, and the 'Hitler at Gallipoli' comment was very Bluto Blutarsky. </font>
<font color="#333333">
</font>
<font color="#333333">Tune in next crisis, when I use a bit from 'Caddyshack', or possibly 'Stripes'.</font>
<font color="#333333">
</font>
<font color="#333333">C'mon, it's Iraq. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again. We're not going to Mecca. It's Iraq. It's like going into Wisconsin...</font>

<font color="#333333">
</font>
<font color="#333333">
</font>

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yankeedog swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 30, 2014
Oops! Don't know where the HTML came from...

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w from brisbane mutters...

Posted September 30, 2014
Poor Dave just jumped in a bit early. I think if he'd actually read the whole column the penny might have dropped.

My favourite recent comment showing a lack of comprehension was to JB's column about the Brisbane City Council wanting to fine people $5000 for enjoying parks in groups of more than 50.

Paul commented
<blockquote style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; quotes: '';">


w from brisbane mumbles...

Posted September 30, 2014
Open tag alert.

Anyway, what Paul commented was
"I don't think we should be blaming the Greeks for all the trouble. Fair go please."

Which gave me a chuckle.

insomniac reckons...

Posted September 30, 2014
close the tag by doing this
see?

insomniac puts forth...

Posted September 30, 2014
damn!

w from brisbane asserts...

Posted September 30, 2014
Yeah, sleepy. I tried that last time.

p.s. Though I did wonder if the Paul comment was PNB being playful.

w from brisbane is gonna tell you...

Posted September 30, 2014
PNB, I did get a poignancy, a plaintiveness.

'Fair go please.' a lovely coda to a gently expressed thought that wasn't in the spirit of the pursed-lip, acidic, hateful, hubristic peevishness of true derp.
I didn't care if Paul missed the point. I like the bloke.

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HAVOCK21 mutters...

Posted September 30, 2014
the only reason it dont fkn work, is that Camels are not compatible with horses!....er

something like that! I guess

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted September 30, 2014
But they are comparable. Camel tastes better than horse. If you cook it right. I know this from personal experience.

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insomniac asserts...

Posted September 30, 2014
</I>

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NBlob reckons...

Posted October 1, 2014

OMG


Mooloolaba, well known hub of infidel sin, in lockdown after foreign looking chappy with a gun was seen! Le Flic en force, SOGGys en route. WONT SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILLUN?


oh


It was a Corrective services officer supervising a day release group.


I am on the cusp of going ballistic And I aint even a foreign looking chappy. Well maybe a little bit.

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted October 1, 2014
We've all seen your beard, Mustapha.

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NBlob is gonna tell you...

Posted October 1, 2014

I was told today that you can "tell when they're serious because they shave their top lip." I restrained myself.


Some people are desperately needing multiple sharp punches to the noggin. It may be unprofessional of me to supply them.


To prove my membership & Bona Fides of Team 'Straya, I shall now have another bacon sammich for my lunch. The first was a bit American - over cooked bacon.


Oh and JB "Faux Derp" = Gold with gold sprinkles.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted October 1, 2014
"The first was a bit American - over cooked bacon."

And it was fuckin' delicious, eh? Eh??

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NBlob reckons...

Posted October 1, 2014

Not as good as the 2nd, with tomato, tabasco & spinach leaves.


Bacon should not shatter when cut or bit, it should be malleable to a degree.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan puts forth...

Posted October 1, 2014
Forgive me. My mistake. I confused you with someone who knows something about bacon and the powerful correctness of the American Way.


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Respond to 'Protecting our precious thingies from teh Muzlims'

Remember when Yumi Stynes insulted that SAS guy?

Posted September 25, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Well she didn't. And neither did Negus. It's been a few years since the incident, which has been forgotten by most people, except Yumi and George. I'll admit that despite having written a Blunty on it, I'd pretty much wiped all the files too.

To provide a bit of context, Ben Roberts-Smith, a VC winner in Afghanistan had been doing publicity when he got back. I doubt that was his choice, but it is the lot of VC winners. Some of the pieces he agreed to do involved some 'big shirtless Roberts'* shots, including one for Men's Health.

The producers of The Circle, a show on the Ten Network, mostly for ladies by ladies (I've been on, and will attest to this) scheduled a discussion about male body image and female perceptions of such off the back of Smith's 'exposure'. The ensuing discussion was all about masculinity and women's ideas of attractiveness, not specifically Ben Roberts-Smith.

And then everything turned to shit.

Negus said "nothing about poor old Ben" before going on to say "but that sort of bloke...what if they're not up to it in the sack?". His comments weren't about Ben Roberts-Smith personally, but about well-built blokes who might pay more attention to their own bodies than their partners. Unfortunately, George was speaking quickly, through his enormous moustache and other people were speaking over him. It's easy to miss his "nothing about poor old Ben," caveat, or ignore it and imagine that Negus had a red hot go.

Yumi's follow up to him, in all the babble and chatter – "Are you, George Negus, intimating he might be a dud root?" – can therefore be seen as a reasonable question directed at Negus, not a joke or a statement directed at Roberts-Smith. Negus denied he was intimating any such thing.

Didn't matter. The bomb went off.

I jumped in on a Tuesday (I think) to defend Yumi, because to my mind she was getting the worst of it and the only reason I could see for the unequal treatment was her race and her gender.

Some of you who've been hanging around here and at Blunty for a while might recall the sort of comments that followed. And if you can't, I'm sure you can imagine the savage derp.

One thing I didn't do though, was question the over arching narrative. Like everyone else I accepted the idea that they'd done something wrong, going so far as to state that they'd shamed and disgraced themselves by mocking Roberts-Smith.

But they didn't. The Press Council recently came to that conclusion too, and although I wasn't a party to that hearing, or whatever it's called – in fact I didnt even know about it – when Yumi's redoubtable hubby drew my attention to it, I didn't see any option but to add my apology to the regrets piled up at their feet by Fairfax. (No ideas what News Corpse did, or if they were even part of the complaint.)

I swapped a few emails, sending my apolz, which I'm happy to add here too. I should have just gone with my gut and jumped in to start swinging without qualification on everyone who was having a go at them. I should have paid attention. Reviewed the tape. Applied the vaunted skepticism for which journalists are supopsedly paid. But I didn't. I accepted the established framing of the story, and in doing so, repeated exactly the same fucking mistake that everyone else did.

The only way to avoid these sorts of egregious fuck ups, which are terribly painful to the people on the receiving end, is either to pay attention in the first place, and if you're too fucking dumb or lazy to do that, to apologise profusely.

Which I now do.

Sorry Yumi. Sorry George.

*A Simpsons reference, which probably I alone get.

25 Responses to ‘Remember when Yumi Stynes insulted that SAS guy?’

tony walsh would have you know...

Posted September 25, 2014
<img src="http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/50882973.jpg">

John Birmingham swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 25, 2014
Hahahahaha.

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damian is gonna tell you...

Posted September 25, 2014
I remember incident and the derp. I don't recall you making a bad show of it then, but while I don't exactly remember, I imagine I must have made the same mistake too.

But the more depressing thing is finding out how internalised the backlash bullshit is with people you'd imagine should know better.Though I think I am having to work on my understanding of the "should know better" bit.

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Abe Frellman mutters...

Posted September 25, 2014
I could've sworn she also said something like 'He's diving in to find his brain' or some such as footage was shown of the Hyphenator diving into a pool. So don't be too hard on yourself, JB.

HAVOCK21 puts forth...

Posted September 25, 2014
yeah, I think you are right, I was sure there was a couple of brain dead swipes at the time. Anyway, I guess its not that much of a bother for me...GENERALLY as I CANNOT FKN STAND HER!

Phrases like RABBIT and TOW BAR come to mind. so you get points for being fair and the retraction JB, a couple being deducted for being a mite hard on your self.

then again...I DONT KNOW HER, so stating... well really, the basis of my hating her is perception and what the media sends out, thats really almost as bad as your culpability I think.

I'll put the tow bar away!

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted September 25, 2014
Havsy, the umpire put up his finger. Time to tuck my bat under my arm and head back to the pavilion.

HAVOCK21 puts forth...

Posted September 26, 2014
Correct.

Assumptions. THE MOTHER OF ALL FK UPS!.

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HAL 9000 is gonna tell you...

Posted September 25, 2014

Yes, Yumi was targeted because of her race and gender. It occurred to me at the time that the title of soccer great Johnny Warren's autobiography 'Sheilas, Wogs and Poofters' [popularly believed to be the only ones who played soccer in his day] also conveniently gives us the targets of so-called 'politically incorrect' humour. And when someone who was both a sheila and 'wog' [in the sense of non-white] made fun of someone who was none of these things - outrage! No matter that George Negus' comments were arguably more offensive.

It's part of the hypocrisy of the 'politically incorrect' that they complain 'You can't tell jokes any more - whatever happened to the good old Aussie chiacking, piss-taking sense of humour?' Well, wasn't that what Yumi and George were engaging in? Can you dish it out, but not take it?

But having said all that, we have to remember she DID say: 'He’s going to dive down to the bottom of the pool to see if his brain is there', implying Ben Roberts-Smith was thick. That's offensive too.

Craig reckons...

Posted September 25, 2014
She did indeed say that, interesting that the sands of time have scrubbed that from the record, I think Internet vitriol is indeed bullshit, but that article is bein pretty selective.

Craig mutters...

Posted September 25, 2014
nope, I remain unshaken, unless not literal, in which case your euphemism escapes me.

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BigWillieStyle ducks in to say...

Posted September 25, 2014
Looks like that Dino ban expired pretty quickly.

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted September 25, 2014
Nah, I was just distracted for an hour.

pi has opinions thus...

Posted September 26, 2014
Sadly, I think it might be time to appoint a few constable ban-hammer-handlers.

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NBlob asserts...

Posted September 25, 2014
Yeah, but no. I think this demonstrates but one of the vexed issues that relate to media regulation.
Now Birmo is a gentleman scribe who cares if he gets something wrong. Unfortunately that is not the case with most scribblers.
Self regulation in the Aust media industry is predicated on the assumption that writers & editors are motivated by accuracy and the high esteem of their colleagues.
Many, perhaps most, seem more motivated by staying half a pace ahead of the slavering horde of unemployed writers at their heels. I understand the pressure to produce content that engages an audience, in bulk.

This is similar to the regulation of the health food industry. The assumption is that practioners are only concerned by the best interests of clients & not personal profit. Indoubidably there are some such practitioners, but I'd posit they are a tiny percentage, rendering the efforts at regulation less than pointless.

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Bucko puts forth...

Posted September 25, 2014
Yumi briefly talked about this on one of the ABCs Agony of Life shows (this year I think). She recognised that she said something pretty stupid and apologised to Ben Roberts-Smith who apparently was not too worried about the whole thing.

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'notch puts forth...

Posted September 25, 2014
My kids went to the same school as hers (in the toffy part of Northcote, daaaahling*). While she seemed to be slightly prone to DYKWIAishness**, she and her kid were just another mum and kid. The sad part was when my job took me into contact with the more munty of the munters who approved of the muntishness of the muntocracy calling for her kids to be attacked.

Mind you, we'd seen some evidence - the kid missed a bit of school and the local wallopers might have done an extra lap or three at pick-up time, probably also getting a couple of Beamer X5's or Subarus with triangle stickers double-parking as bonus quota-fillin'.

When the aforementioned munters were confronted with the fact that not only would they be advocating violence against kids, but my kids too, they seemed, for a second, to be rather confuzzled. When presented with the actual consequences of making munter-statements, their 2-volt fuses blew and the munter-lobe in their brains shorted.

Regardless of whether it was used by Channel Teen to boost ratings, or whether Yumi ballsed up and didn't engage brain or did it for the attention was neither here nor there - she shouldn't have to have had that munter-hate thrown at her - and at everyone who may have been close.


*We'd been there a while, increasingly in shitty rentals while the beige-est of rich lefties gentrified the bejeeezus out of the place. We bailed the hell out not long after.

**Don't You Know Who I Am?! There's quite a few C-grade celebs who are prone to it.

Martin mutters...

Posted September 27, 2014
"Regardless of whether it was used by Channel Teen to boost ratings, or whether Yumi ballsed up and didn't engage brain or did it for the attention was neither here nor there - she shouldn't have to have had that munter-hate thrown at her - and at everyone who may have been close."
(I think you missed the point of jb's post ie she didn't stuff up and ten didn't use anything for ratings. Both her and negus were misquoted.)

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pi puts forth...

Posted September 26, 2014
Can you post the original links for shits and giggles?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted September 26, 2014
Hopefully more giggles than shits. The former is easier to clean up.

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FormerlyKnownAsSimon is gonna tell you...

Posted September 26, 2014
God, i vaguely remember this - thanks for bringing it up into the forefront of my brain. I'm sure it was next in the queue to get pushed out.

What i want to know is if they covered the question at hand. What if built guys are dud roots or doesn't it matter? Is it enough that you can knife an insurgent in the dark and move onto the next guy before laying some dynamite to blow up a critical piece of hardware? (asking for a friend)

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Rob is gonna tell you...

Posted September 26, 2014
I always thought she was speaking generally about the subject, not at the subject. I thought Negus came across as a bit of of jealous man and the use of 'dud root' was totes awsm. But the whole attack on her, when she really didn't say anything or denigrate anybody in particular was just a bit off. Bit like the ease at which dickheads attack female video gamers.

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Craig asserts...

Posted September 26, 2014
The people who threatened her kids or her, or even went to the effort of abusing her publicly are assholes, I make no excuse for them.

But let's reverse the races and genders:
Attractive female model of Asian descent does something incredibly brave and saves some people's lives, and is filmed in a bikini at the pool, throw to studio.

Older female reporter of Asian descent "but what if a girl like that is no good in bed?"

Younger white Australian male "a dud root you reckon? What is she doing now? Diving down to find her brain?"

Do we think this would pass without controversy because it was a white male? I suggest not.

My disappointment with what was said is zero about race or gender.

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Martin swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 27, 2014
Craig has opinions thus- you're not reading what jb said. What you're missing in your example is this-

"Nothing about the incredibly muscly hero in the bikini....but, given that we're speaking of the relative attractiveness of incredibly muscly people in general, do you reckon they might pay more attention to their own bodies than their partners? "

Negus prefaced his observation with a crucial caveat that the media (and you) skipped over. "Nothing about poor old ben",
Easy to do, but still does a disservice to Negus. That's why Fairfax (and jb) apologised- it is a matter of fact, not opinion or interpretation, that neither nexus not stynes called Roberts-Smith a dud root (and their lawyers probably backed that up)

And if it was Sam Newman who'd said "hang on, George. Are you saying Roberts-Smith is a dud root?", there's no way it'd be pinned on Sam. So why Stynes?

As for the brain in pool comment, his own mum or Nan or mates) could have said something similar- "love, did you really have to show Australia you in your jocks and tats, staring off into the middle distance? People might think you look a bit of a dill..." it's hardly offensive to anyone. And it has to be looked at in the context jb outlines...
But if you're determined to be outraged, you can cut-and-paste and omit caveats and context to your heart's/hate's delight...



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Martin puts forth...

Posted September 27, 2014
Craig, keeping in mind negus' caveat ("nothing about Ben"), I challenge you to find where negus or stynes called Roberts-Smith a dud root. And if you can't, I think you need to reassess how they were misquoted and mistreated. (But if you can, more power to you.)

Craig puts forth...

Posted September 30, 2014
just a quick response, I'm going to try find the vid and have a listen/watch again, it appears my legal position needs some shoring up - but nearly all of my response is to the title and opening of the article "remember when Yumi Stynes insulted that SAS bloke? Well she didn't" I only mentioned George to maintain chronology in my hypothetical scenario of reversed genders and races and the whole dud root thing I could care less about, unfortunate they needed IVF to have kids though, but no intent.
Given Ben would be able to use encrypted satellite radios, guided missiles etc etc, the "find his brain" was a dumb and ignorant thing to say, and what his mates and Nan might say doesn't necessarily make it for for telly does it?

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