Cheeseburger Gothic

Lights, camera, Abbott and ISIS

Posted September 23, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

At Blunty.

I suspect the Prime Minister is lying to you. This may come as no surprise, but lying your way to war, even a little one, is an order of magnitude more serious than simply lying your way into office and out of your promises. Some lies lead only to disappointment, perhaps to resentment. Some lead to violence and tragedy and death.

52 Responses to ‘Lights, camera, Abbott and ISIS’

damian is gonna tell you...

Posted September 23, 2014
Dread to think what the communters will be like today :)

BigWillieStyle is gonna tell you...

Posted September 23, 2014
I just got back from the Daily Telegraph's website. You should read the communters on there. The Prime Minister must allow Aussie families to arm themselves!! We must take our country back by any means necessary!! Death to Lefties!!

It's those sort of people that scare me, frankly.

insomniac reckons...

Posted September 23, 2014
I hope you hosed yourself down before coming here - infection control and all that. That stuff's worse than Ebola.

Respond to this thread

Halwes mumbles...

Posted September 23, 2014

That just about sums up the way I'm feeling about all this. Thanks. I despair about this country. I think we must be the stupidest, most easily manipulated people in the world. Now watch Abbott's poll ratings go through the roof.

libber8 mumbles...

Posted September 23, 2014
No i think we come second. America would be the most manipluated country in the world forllowed by AUS

Respond to this thread

JBtoo asserts...

Posted September 23, 2014
Thanks JB. It has been heartening to hear a few voices of reason breaking through the bullshit, although I fear it is pissing into the hurricane of newscorpse and shock jocks.
Good to know about Daesh; now back to the bacon and educating my niece.

Respond to this comment

w from brisbane asserts...

Posted September 23, 2014
We are getting into a fairly silly area now as the Government's PR people pull out the old 'we are a country under threat' schtick.

It is a bloody, dangerous schtick when you are seeding a fear of fellow citizens.

I was amused the other day, I shouldn't have been, when someone reporting what was happening on facebook in the awake of the 800 crushing a few idiots.
A young lady sincerely posting her thoughts.
'I'm so afraid I will be beheaded in Sydney today'.


Respond to this comment

Barnesm puts forth...

Posted September 23, 2014
This is related but not really germane to the topic at Blunty and I'd hate to make unrelated comments over there when every one is so focused and reasonable.

All the social media and news gathering tools I employ, the comments by friends and things work colleagues say seem to surround me with an impression that most see the actions of this government for what they are a desperate attempt to distract the voters so they can drive their ideological stake into the heart of the welfare state. I get the occasional comment on Facebook, or post on blunty but on the whole it seems people see through it.

But I worry that I am living in a bubble and the vast majority do believe this is all true. I wonder if it wasn't better for my perception of reality when the only point of view available was that provided by the old press and I had to face the fact that people supported these sorts of ideas.

No solution just wondering if I was more drenched in the day to day of the mainstream media I might be more terrified, not of Daesh but that the Liberal party will be re-elected.

Penley mutters...

Posted September 23, 2014
You are not alone. I don't really know anyone at all who believes all this national security bullshit. It just seems like fear-mongering 101:how to hoodwink your nation when the polls are down. But then, I now have it on good authority that all the ladies at mum's golf club (not my Mum the greenie though thank god) think Abbott is doing a swell job and we should all be a lot more scared of getting beheaded down at the Corinda Coles. Sigh...

Halwes has opinions thus...

Posted September 23, 2014
I live remotely in the bush and only read the SMH and this blog for news. We can pick up the ABC though. I came here because of Mr Birminghams writing, the effect that it has had on me for many years and the insightful ideas he proposes. You can go a bit troppo out here and become very insular if you aren't careful. For a fair while, if I couldn't fish it, fight it or fck it, I just wasn't interested in it at all. This made me even more boring than I already was. I have only ever commented on this blog. My reason is that this is great community of real thinkers, yes even Dino, and, when I'm wrong / deluded / mistaken then someone points it out. This allows me to get a handle on world events, especially through the insights of our foreign brethren, and adjust my thinking without having to engage with the far right wing. I think that is the difference between us and them. We think and adapt while they just believe. I hear it's a lot easier that way but when I look at the depths to which this country has descended I believe that the only hope is with the thinkers.

Respond to this thread

Rob asserts...

Posted September 23, 2014


I did a FB post yesterday about this issue, but it wasn't half as interesting, well 2 likes and a friend asking if I was drunk posting(being Monday then its a no) "Actually Toned Abs I don't want my freedom curtailed for your political expedience. You fascist prick. And Bill Shorten can f off too."

Hopefully social media can help everyone see through their silly 1970s PR scheme. Maybe they might update their advertising and cover themselves in luminous green and yellow glory 80s style.

BigWillieStyle is gonna tell you...

Posted September 23, 2014
Yeah, friggen' Shorten. Man's got about as much credibility as does Toned Abs. Seems to stand for nothing apart from doing whatever's in his best interests. "I'm for Gillard", "No, I'm for Rudd", "The Prime Minister rides a girl's bike", "I will give my support to the Prime Minister on this one because, hey, I don't mind dog-whistling if it means people might vote for me". Jesus wept.

Respond to this thread

Rob asserts...

Posted September 23, 2014

Oh and that bit about bogans is spot on, no wonder they got busted. Being dickheads. Bogans, either your muslim type or dyed in the wool white trash type in Bridgewater or Chigwell, just can't keep their fat mouths shut at the best of times.

Respond to this comment

NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted September 23, 2014


For fun & excitement check out the Anti Mosque protest in Maroochydore.


I'd weep but I'm too damned angry

Respond to this comment

Surtac reckons...

Posted September 23, 2014


Nailed it again Birmo. As far as Crusader Rabbit is concerned, we are a nation of bogans and sheeple.

Bread and circuses wins again.

Respond to this comment

Therbs is gonna tell you...

Posted September 23, 2014
Sending airforce and spec ops over there is to provide footage of our guys 'n gals in action for prime time news items and longer pieces with embeds for 60 Minutes etc.. Apparently war type footage rates well and moves the votes further to the right. Beardy nutjobs with Brit accents lopping off heads on the internet? Sells more papers and advertising revenue for the media owners.

Respond to this comment

Murphy would have you know...

Posted September 23, 2014
I guess I'm confused.

Why haven't you run this idiot out of office yet?

Respects,
Murph
On the Outer Marches

Therbs mumbles...

Posted September 23, 2014
Because we're fkn idiots and a lot of people eat his fkn bullshit for breakfast and don't question it. It's a lot easier to confect a security issue and point blame at beardy nutjobs than deal with serious internal shit.

Respond to this thread

Cranky Peanut mumbles...

Posted September 23, 2014
"Wankbadgers' is great; was "daesh-bags" taken?

John Birmingham mutters...

Posted September 23, 2014
It is now!

Bondiboy66 swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 23, 2014
''Wankbadger' has now entered my lexicon. Thanks!

Respond to this thread

Blarkon mumbles...

Posted September 23, 2014
The beauty of democracy is that there's a great system to readily replace politicians when something unfortunate happens to them. The politicians seem to forget that they are an entirely replaceable component. If a small asteroid landed on Canberra while parliament was in session, Australia would survive. We'd weep for those worth weeping about. Then we'd elect a new set of politicians to govern the country.

Parliament House was designed and sold as a "peoples house". What it's rapidly becoming is a fortress that protects a political class that isn't even worthy of the nation's contempt.

We've got far more of a chance of being killed in a road accident going down to Coles than we have by a nutter taking iPhone video wanting to decapitate us so that Google can sell a few more advertisements on YouTube.

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted September 23, 2014
I think you just wrote my Saturday column.

Blarkon puts forth...

Posted September 23, 2014
Go nuts.

We'd rebuild parliament should it be destroyed. We'd elect new politicians to govern the country should the current lot were transported to the wasabi mines of Blarkonis VI.

You can't destroy a democracy by flattening its buildings or removing whoever is currently wearing the "leader" hat.

You can destroy a democracy by fucking with its internal self perceptions about what its citizens rights and freedoms are.

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted September 23, 2014
Damn, I'm gonna have to delete this comment so everyone thinks I came up with it.

Blarkon reckons...

Posted September 23, 2014
It's interesting isn't it that armed forces personnel are assumed to be willing to lay their lives in the line for the country as part of the job.

The lives of politicians (the ones that would tell those armed forces personnel to go and fight in some foreign death zone) on the other hand are apparently so precious that they need to be provided with a level of security unavailable to all but the richest Australians.

It takes years to train up someone in the armed forces. By design, anyone can be a member of parliament.

Which of these two is more expensive to replace?

Sudragon puts forth...

Posted September 23, 2014
I'm in favor of arming our politicians. But then again, I'm also in favor of shock collars on politicians, for direct feedback from the electorate.

DiddyWrote asserts...

Posted September 23, 2014
Thank you Blarkon, you have just succinctly punctured the enormous bullshit balloon that Abbott and co have been desperately inflating in the last few months.

Excellent.

DiddyWrote mutters...

Posted September 23, 2014
Thank you Blarkon, you have just succinctly punctured the enormous bullshit balloon that Abbott and co have been desperately inflating in the last few months.

Excellent.

Respond to this thread

yankeedog mutters...

Posted September 23, 2014
I have a 'but', though-

Some people there are really probably scared of a terror act happening down there. It's not, obviously, a good thing to go through. We've been there. Comes to people wanting to do us harm, I want to be thumping them on their turf, not on mine. But I think we here all get that. I don't think that makes that segment of the population 'sheeple', or whatever pejorative you prefer.

That said, we also all know that famous story about the boy who cried 'wolf'. A government has maybe one or two of these 'threats' before EVERYONE says 'You guys leading us are full of crap'. Then something bad really DOES happen and it's a tragedy because no one paid attention because, hey, Abbott's said all this before...

Eh, who knows? Been a long time since I rambled on too much on the 'Burger, so maybe I'll just slink back to my seat in the corner.

Oh, and, Hey Therbs! How ya keepin', troop? Been a while, hope all's good.

insomniac swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 23, 2014
There's a segment of the population who are genuinely terrified by terrorists regardless of current events, and then there's a segment of the population who are terrified because Tony told them to be. The first group get caught up in Tony's rhetoric that's used to achieve the aim for the second group, which makes Tony and his cronies a bunch of dicks.

yankeedog swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 23, 2014
Hit 'er on the head, insomniac. One thing I haven't really heard from anyone in the government there is any sort of reassurance. Sounds like a lot of fear-mongering emanating from officialdom down there. That in itself is not good-makes the government's position look weak.

Therbs reckons...

Posted September 23, 2014
Goin' fine, YD. Pissed off with this arsejuicer of a PM we have and all of his chest thumping cocknockery but that doesn't spoil the taste of a good beer, a nice wine or a fine whisky.

yankeedog swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 23, 2014
Come live in Illinois, Therbs. Corruption, high taxes for no services, patronage, we got it all. But we also have Bent River Uncommon Stout-the beer that's a complete meal.

Respond to this thread

BigWillieStyle mumbles...

Posted September 23, 2014
John, I suspect you might receive a knock on the door in the next few days. An unsmiling George Brandis and a couple of brown-shirted henchmen. After George administers one of those memory-erasing things like they used in Men In Black, he'll personally blu-tac his DNA to your metadata, and will thereafter track your every move. While being sure to make time each day for stroking his fluffy white cat, evil genius-style, and horsewhipping his factory full of unwed, Muslim, dole-bludging, non-LNP-voting, climate change alarmists.

John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted September 23, 2014
Now I am alert AND alarmed.

damian asserts...

Posted September 23, 2014
Good. Your country needs more lerts. And larms.

Respond to this thread

HAVOCK21 is gonna tell you...

Posted September 23, 2014
I'm not gunna say a fkn word!

Therbs is gonna tell you...

Posted September 23, 2014
C'mon Havs, I dares ya to say sumfink. Aside from turning the Middle East into a sheet of glass of course.

Respond to this thread

HAVOCK21 ducks in to say...

Posted September 23, 2014
I'm in me fkn zen place at the mo!


So don't poke the fkn bear I say! But your last is rather appealing IMHO

Blarkon mumbles...

Posted September 23, 2014
Must be the only Zen place that has 6 trillion decibels of Cold Chisel and Angels blaring in the stone garden.

Respond to this thread

Therbs ducks in to say...

Posted September 23, 2014

Crank up "Shadow Boxer" louder than loud through a busted up amp and speakers, rip the top off a Reschs long neck and go farken off.

Bondiboy66 puts forth...

Posted September 23, 2014
LIKE

Respond to this thread

Bangar mutters...

Posted September 23, 2014
Insanity, doing exactly the same thing and expecting a different result, because going into Iraq the first time has worked out so well.

Respond to this comment

Spanner is gonna tell you...

Posted September 23, 2014
Some great thinky here today especially from his Lizardness.

Respond to this comment

JBtoo asserts...

Posted September 23, 2014
I love this blog. You is my people. Going for the gin now.

Bunyip reckons...

Posted September 23, 2014
Seconded.

I'll pass on the gin, but. I'll stick with my Niz?r? Ism?'?l? impersonations.

Respond to this thread

Halwes puts forth...

Posted September 23, 2014
I think that you just nailed it JBtoo. My wife and I were at the opera house for a play when we were in Sydney last year. We were dressed OK and didn't stand out but I was nervous and uncomfortable. I put it down to being in the city and all the people there but I was not happy. I told my wife how I felt and left it at that. A few days later we went to Penrith trots. I felt comfortable, calm and happy and told her that too. She replied with some prophetic words. "That's because these are our people" she said and I understood immediately.

pi is gonna tell you...

Posted September 23, 2014
I'd feel pretty comfortable at both places Halwes. Which (If you don't mind me saying so) also says something pretty important. There's along way for Oz to slide before it gets to the type of segregation that many places apparently enjoy.

NBlob mumbles...

Posted September 23, 2014
Pi to two places ?

Respond to this thread

Edward would have you know...

Posted September 24, 2014
Abbott was salivating at the thought of sending our people to Iraq, giving a virtual commitment before his boss in Washington told him to press the go button. He missed out in getting involved in the Ukraine so I guess ISIS will have to do. Notice his countenance is getting darker and furrowed, with a 1000 yard stare, a sign of a mind in lockout of reality.

Respond to this comment

NBlob is gonna tell you...

Posted September 24, 2014
We seem largely agreed this is a piece of security theatre aimed a directing Joe & Wendy Sixpack-Homemaker's attention away from Mr Rabbit's less than stellar performance on other fronts.
I was pondering the actual damage Hockey's hippolites have done to our institutions (those described by His Scaliness above, CSIRO, Climate Authority et al), the Real Peril of AGCC VS the potential damage of Beardy Nutters.

But I also wonder if there is a grim sort of threat assessment where If (I think it very very very unlikely) but if some Beardy Nutters were to hypothetically mount a Mumbai 26/11/08 type assault on Sydney, the spin kings believe that to have done Something (highly publicised raids & new anti terror bills) better than to be perceived to have done nothing.
I heard a podcast recently describing the inability to facilitate former allies in Iraq & the Stan migrating to the US, despite there being specific visa categories available. It seemed that nobody @ immigration was prepared to have their signature approving an application by Mr Beard, despite the applicant having proved conclusively & repeatedly to be on The Good Guy's side, Just in case Mr Beard gets shooty
.

Respond to this comment

Respond to 'Lights, camera, Abbott and ISIS'

A five grand fine for kids' parties in the park

Posted September 16, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Nice one Quirky.

At the Instrument.

28 Responses to ‘A five grand fine for kids' parties in the park’

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted September 16, 2014
Oh, that is so fucked up for more reasons than I can articulate.

Respond to this comment

Jon is gonna tell you...

Posted September 16, 2014
This makes me want to stab someone. Sometimes I hate this fucking nanny state lamb hating, kransky bashing fucking police state we live in. Due to a lack of any bill of rights i'm sure the greeks will just keep cooking anyway. If I get a chance ill drive up there and join the chorus of " Fuck you Copper!"
Long time lurker, first rant.

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted September 16, 2014
Nice way to de-lurk, Jono.

Respond to this thread

Darth Greybeard puts forth...

Posted September 16, 2014
To paraphrase, It's all about ROOLS. Some people hate them (anarchist bastards), some love them (fascist bastards) and most of us will tolerate a few for a quiet life (lazy bastards). Sadly, if you live in Brisbane, you've got rule lovers at local, state and federal level. It fascinates me that Conservatives here and in the US are always boasting about cutting red tape and reducing regulation, while in reality they are gagging to regulate every aspect of our lives. Unchecked we'd be back to sumptuary laws governing what we can wear and eat (eg voucher systems). Terrorism scares enable control over movement and communication and excuse total violation of privacy. False alarms re voter fraud excuse new rules to disenfranchise the poor. They want to know what we say, think and buy and regulate us to the "everything that is not compulsory is forbidden" level - as do many religious cults.

The only red tape that gets cut is the kind that protects basic rights, employment conditions, health or aged care.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted September 16, 2014
Close, but not quite. They don't enjoy regulation. They hate it. But they hate something more than regulation - i.e., They really, really hate people enjoying themselves in any way. They hate good food, enjoyable sex, public displays of affection and laughter that isn't derisive.

"If any form of pleasure is exhibited
Report to me and it will be prohibited.
I'll put my foot down, so shall it be -
This is the Land of the Free..."

damian swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 16, 2014
No, tories like regulation a lot. The thing they hate more than anything else is freedom enjoyed by people they look down on. The thing that you and I call freedom is a hateful thing to them, while what they call freedom is a very abstract thing that is largely meaningless in the world we live in.

I've seen tories close up while they have been getting stuck into some good regulation that applies to people of whom they disapprove. They adore it. It's like air to them.

They really, really don't like regulations that apply to them. But that's very different.

Respond to this thread

Halwes mutters...

Posted September 16, 2014

You mob want to try living in the intervened Northern Territory. It has been truly ruined by federal intervention. You can't even have a beer anymore without 4 coppers having a good look at you and chucking you out of the pub if you dare to even laugh. One funny thing happened last Saturday which was aussie rules grand final day. The cops were in the club and everyone had their eyes down, didn't make eye contact and didn't talk or laugh. When we judged the cops were out the door the whole joint erupted into the team song complete with, dancing, didgeridoo and the great voice of the singer for East Journey, Rrawun Maymuru. It was an outstanding Territory moment. We've got the rabbit staying up the road but he wont meet any of us reprobates. You should see the army of spin doctors designed to keep the great unwashed from telling him what they think of him. He's even got the real army here with him and is getting his meals flown 1000 km's by the air force because I don't think they trust anyone around here not to poison the bastard. He must be smarter than he looks.

Respond to this comment

Sudragon swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 16, 2014
Time for flashmobs.

Bunyip mutters...

Posted September 16, 2014
Flash garlicky lamb mobs.

Geez, I wish I lived in a more Northern clime. Only for the lamb, you understand. Oh, and civil disobedience with catering.

Respond to this thread

yankeedog is gonna tell you...

Posted September 16, 2014
I don't have a problem with a big group having to get a permit to use a shelter (barbecue area, whatever). Makes sense. The city should get to charge a nominal fee-$300 seems excessive, though. And $5k fines are way out of line, unless that big party is leaving a mess for the park workers to clean up. Sounds like your governments are picking the time-honored tradition of 'revenue stream generators' from places like, oh, Chicago.

If the groups aren't leaving a big mess, or harassing others, leave them alone. They aren't hurting anything, and there's worse aromas than garlicky lamb.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 16, 2014
Oh dear. There are few aromas better than garlicky lamb.

Chaz mutters...

Posted September 16, 2014
Roast beef and roast pork

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted September 16, 2014
Okay. Those are a few.

Got to admit, I loves me some roast pig meat.

damian mutters...

Posted September 16, 2014
Slowly bubbling chicken curry, with freshly ground spices...

Though I share the love of pork, beef, lamb and garlic.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted September 17, 2014
Okay, so we'll add bubbling chicken curry, with freshly ground spices to the list.

You bastards. You cannot tolerate a seppo of Irish extraction with Greek pretensions to take a little pseudo-ethnic pride in garlicy lamb. With a little fresh oregano. But just a little. And no mint, for God's sake. That is just so goyish.

Lulu would have you know...

Posted September 17, 2014
The Polish Deli at the Queen Vic Market in Melbourne. I can't get more specific than that - all I know is that I stand in front of their stall and it smells absolutely WONDERFUL. I've never been able to identify if it's a specific cured/smoked pork product which I can smell, or the combination of all of them.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted September 17, 2014
It is well known that the Polish themselves smell marvelous - which explains their success in the open market.

Respond to this thread

w from brisbane mumbles...

Posted September 16, 2014
Incredibly annoying. It comes down to freedom of association. There are a superfluity of laws to deal with public behaviour in parks:
drinking in an unlicenced area, littering, noise etc etc.

Why add a numbers cap? Probably some well-connected snob imperiously complaining that large groups deny him the picturesque park vista that was in the brochure.

JBtoo mutters...

Posted September 16, 2014
bacon

and all of the above

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan puts forth...

Posted September 17, 2014
I believe bacon is a subset of roast pig meat.

MordWa swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 20, 2014
"Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal."

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted September 20, 2014
Damn right.

Respond to this thread

Chaz would have you know...

Posted September 16, 2014

Surprised they haven't used the 'elf 'n safety angle along with needing a 'party plan' and emergency wardens in case little johnny scabs his knee.

I suspect the origins of this regulation gone mad comes from some jobsworth who wanted to see how much it costs to maintain the parks considering all this 'excess' usage


Respond to this comment

Lulu is gonna tell you...

Posted September 16, 2014
$5K fine is excessive, but if you're having a large event, $300 fee doesn't sound unreasonable - depending on how much of a mess you leave behind. It might be better if the fee could act as a deposit, returnable (partially or entirely) if you clean up after yourself.

Dino not to be confused with has opinions thus...

Posted September 16, 2014
Yes Lulu,
Last time I was in Brisbane*(1992?) the Greek thing was noticable.
The Actuarys will do the Maths and work out the cost.
Personally, I hate individuals who look down their noses.
I see them nearly everyday.
They are spread out and won't go to Gatherings.
They don't go to Gatherings.
They hate confrontation.
They hate being challenged by community.
This is why community gatherings are important.
Peop-le are challenged.
Otherwise we will have a bueracracy.
An illiterate burocracy.
Cultural Illiterarates.
Brain Dead office workers who have never spoken to a stranger.

Respond to this thread

damian would have you know...

Posted September 16, 2014
It's another "here we Joh again" on the quiet, dumbed down so much they think we won't notice. Your protest or other public gathering of 50 people or more will be a fine of $5k each, so a nice little minimum take of $250k if our friendly peace officials really decide to play.

Respond to this comment

NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted September 16, 2014
Couple of quick points.
1 Council officers do not have the authority to Require your name & address. They can inquire all they like, but can't compel you to identify yourself like State Gov officers (ahem) can. It may be an offence to give false & misleading info so just politely decline.
2 I strongly encourage anyone who received such a ticket to invite the council to prove it in court. I'd love to see them establish (beyond a reasonable doubt remember) A; Who was responsible for the shindig, B; the >50 people were all attending That shindig, not another coincidentally located in close proximity & C; the accused did not take Reasonable Steps to limit attendees to 49, remember the onus of proof is on them, not you.
3 I'd urge you to have some pity for the poor shmuck in the uniform, it's a job, a crappy underpaid job, but a job.

Barnesm mumbles...

Posted September 17, 2014

Good points and well made. Just a minor quibble I think the offences would be a civil one, though I might be mistaken "beyond a reasonable doubt" is the standard to prove in crimial matters for civil offences I think its on balance of probablities.

Though my knowledge of such thing is purely based on what our legal services unit tell me verbally during debriefs of prosecutions and they never provide such advice in writing so it tends to be a moving target. Seems to be whatever suits their arguement and denies yours has been my experience.

But I certaily agree challange since given the poor resourcing and understaffed nature of government the poor sod told to enforce the rule is likely to have been provided little training, support or even bee shown how to take notes to rely on in court.

Respond to this thread

Respond to 'A five grand fine for kids' parties in the park'

"Call Mister Morrison to the stand..."

Posted September 9, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

The Queensland Coroner will investigate the death of an asylum seeker.

At Blunty.

8 Responses to ‘"Call Mister Morrison to the stand..."’

BigWillieStyle asserts...

Posted September 9, 2014

In February 2008, newly elected MP Scott Morrison made his maiden speech in Parliament, in which he stated his admiration for Desmond Tutu and William Wilberforce. He also made a passionate declaration that Australia should provide more aid to Africa.

As time went by, and his party lurched further to the right under the leadership of Toned Abs, the Morrison of February 2008 morphed into the snarling, arrogant, inhumane ideologue we know and love today. JB, I very much doubt Morrison is about to receive a lesson in humility. If called before the Coroner, he will deny, obfuscate, blame the ALP, obfuscate some more, possibly make reference to Team Australia, get shouty, deny again, fail to recall certain conversations, then receive tummy rubs from Alan Jones and the Murdochracy.

These people are beyond redemption.

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted September 9, 2014
Sigh. Yeah. I know. But you gotta give people some hope.

damian reckons...

Posted September 9, 2014
Morrison was a year or two ahead of me at high school, so around 5 years after Bedes. Have speculated with others on the merits of luring with a faux reunion, getting him blind drunk and leaving him naked in Martin Place with a roll of $100 notes in his arse. But frankly that sort of thing is bollocks when proper legal sanctions are available as may be the case if the coroner is allowed to go further without political interference. Not a thing to be especially hopeful about with the present state govt either I suppose.

Respond to this thread

Surtac has opinions thus...

Posted September 9, 2014


What Big Willie said.

These sleazebags will find a way to slither out from under any form of accepting responsibility or accountability for their actions or inactions.

And in other news a connection from Credlin to ICAC. Well, there's a surprise. Not.

Respond to this comment

Dave W asserts...

Posted September 9, 2014
I love the derpy people who say that someone cuts their own foot, it's their own problem. Bah. So what that they were in custody and therefore are reliant on someone else providing medical attention. Damn I get depressed at how the world must be black and white because Derpy McDerp says it must be.

BigWillieStyle would have you know...

Posted September 9, 2014
Just been reading the communtz over at Blunty. Plenty of Derpy McDerps with something to say, and quite a few Fuckwit McDipshits as well. Basically, "Hey, Ruddgillard personally drowned 1,000 people at sea, so this death doesn't even count and anyway the guy was here illegally and I'm an insular redneck who's never left my own suburb let alone the country" seems to cover 98% of the thoughts being expressed. Only with bad grammar and lamentable punctuation thrown in. Fuck! When did this country become so bloody nasty?

Respond to this thread

Lulu asserts...

Posted September 9, 2014
Cannot stand the man.

Unfortunately it's his name (I think?) at the bottom of my citizenship certificate. If I didn't actually need the document, I would 'accidentally' singe that part of it on the gas stove.

insomniac would have you know...

Posted September 9, 2014
That is a most excellent reason for me not taking out my citizenship in the near term.

Respond to this thread

Respond to '"Call Mister Morrison to the stand..."'

STRONG CHOICES WRITE MIGHTY SEX COLUMN.

Posted August 19, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Late yesterday arvo I was faced with one of those conundrums which arise in this gig. Whether to write a serious column or a stupid one.

And then I realised, why choose.

LET MR STRONG CHOICES DO BOTH.

Blunty:

Dear Mr Strong Choices

My husband and I have always enjoyed a healthy sex life, but recently he’s been terribly worried by the indefensible $500-a-day service charge which seems purpose designed to destroy the solar power industry in Queensland. He says he stills loves me but the physical side of our relationship has been ruined by your strange and inexplicable hostility to renewable energy.

Why, Mr Strong Choices? Why? Solar power is hot, powerful, strong and long-lasting. Why have you denied me this pleasure?

Advertisement

Yours,

MY, New Farm

STRONG CHOICES HULK SMASH HUSBAND’S FLACCID WILLY ON HEAVY IRON ANVIL. SEE HOW HUSBAND LIKE THAT WHEN WILLY DOCTORS ALL SACKED FROM HOSPITALS BECAUSE STRONG CHOICES HULK SMASHED THEM TOO. GAH!!!

14 Responses to ‘STRONG CHOICES WRITE MIGHTY SEX COLUMN. ’

Dave W would have you know...

Posted August 19, 2014
This strong choices character is truly the gift that keeps on giving. You Queenslander's are so lucky.

Bunyip ducks in to say...

Posted August 19, 2014
Yup. We only have.... umm...

Oh, yeah, Dennis the "No Worries" vet.

Zzzzzzzz....

Lulu has opinions thus...

Posted August 19, 2014
Bunyip, you forgot Geoff Shaw. OTOH, still a bit zzzzzz ...

Respond to this thread

pi puts forth...

Posted August 19, 2014
Seriously though... does it actually even remotely look like these guys are going to get voted out? How many seats would they need to lose? Eleventy gazillion?


MickH asserts...

Posted August 19, 2014
Well in the last by-election they had a swing against them of over 18%
So yeah, probably, hope so. Whats more possible however is the prospect of Can-Do losing his seat

Respond to this thread

Josh has opinions thus...

Posted August 19, 2014

I didn't live here in Qld (and was too young) during the Jo days. Is this what we're going back to ? Because if so, my home state is looking much better.

Respond to this comment

Dino not to be confused with ducks in to say...

Posted August 19, 2014
Captain,
It appears my comments are too risque for the 'Burger'.
Chious...

Respond to this comment

Dino not to be confused with puts forth...

Posted August 19, 2014
What do they call those flabby triceps?

Respond to this thread

Dino not to be confused with is gonna tell you...

Posted August 19, 2014
Torpedo away...

Respond to this thread

Dino not to be confused with would have you know...

Posted August 19, 2014
1975,
Whitlam gone cause of the GG Kerr.
WTF happened there?
When will Cosgrove have the balls to do 'somthing'?

Respond to this thread

Dino not to be confused with swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted August 19, 2014
Captain,
I will be taking two personnel from the Ship.
Disembarking.
Job to do.
Hand to Hand.
I expect all of us will return.

Respond to this comment

Respond to 'STRONG CHOICES WRITE MIGHTY SEX COLUMN. '

I hate gardens and gardening

Posted August 12, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

They are hateful. But might soon tasty.

At Blunty.

Be the first to respond to ‘I hate gardens and gardening’

Respond to 'I hate gardens and gardening'

Give me back my $170

Posted July 29, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Global warming a scam? Excellent. Can I have my money back then, Mr Treasurer?

At Blunty.

Or, a personal fave, genuine complaints from the CIA cafeteria.

2. Condiments are serious business

“Please put back the individual packets of ketchup, mustard & mayonnaise. The large pump boxes of these items are not convenient to use, causing frustration & are not liked by many people.”

The above quote is merely a brief excerpt from a long and deeply impassioned rant praising the superiority of individual packets and detailing the brutal struggle of using the pumps. This poor employee even had to go through the strenuous effort of putting down his food and drink just to be able to obtain his condiment of choice. Clearly the CIA must act immediately to end this humanitarian crisis.

10 Responses to ‘Give me back my $170’

Lulu is gonna tell you...

Posted July 29, 2014
Your problem is likely that 2014 isn't an election year in Qld. It is in Vic, so my last water bill included a $100 bribe from the state govt's "fairer water bills initiative" (or some such). It seems to be $100 per household, regardless of size, so as a single person living in an apartment, that $100 is enough to cover approx 8 months of water.

Respond to this comment

pi has opinions thus...

Posted July 29, 2014
Some serious butt-hurt goin on in the comments of blunty.

Respond to this comment

Anthony would have you know...

Posted July 29, 2014

the CIA Cafeteria complaints really stunned, shocked and amazed me...


The CIA employs vegans???

Respond to this comment

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan puts forth...

Posted July 29, 2014
I adore large pump boxes.

Respond to this comment

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted July 29, 2014
In all fairness, even the small ones are good. What matters, really, is the combination of the two.

insomniac is gonna tell you...

Posted July 29, 2014
medium?

Respond to this thread

w from brisbane swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted July 29, 2014
I have an unhappy history with condiment sachets.
Both in getting them open and also in avoiding wearing the contents.

Respond to this comment

Anthony puts forth...

Posted July 29, 2014

At the risk of sounding Dinoish and paranoid, I'm not sure I'd trust the sachets. If they got them mixed up they might explode and blow your hand off.


Dino not to be confused with reckons...

Posted July 29, 2014
Anthony,
'and paranoid' is a tautology.
The only wetwork I ever did was in a cafeteria.
Knocked a glass of water over.
It was so embarrassing.
Locating the invisible.

Respond to this thread

Dino not to be confused with asserts...

Posted July 29, 2014
I need the cash JB.
Seriously.
As for the 150 I owe ya I'll pay ya when the Qld Gov'mint does.
Or before.
Probably before.
I am good for it.
Just wait a little longer...

Respond to this comment

Respond to 'Give me back my $170'