Cheeseburger Gothic

Starting to think this crazy plan might just work

Posted May 19 into Books by John Birmingham

Cairo broke into the top 1000 of Amazon's global sales rank this morning. So thanks, again, to everyone who helped out, which is pretty much all of you.

Now, I just need to get rid of Stephen King and Philip K Dick.

They're always standing in my way, those bastards.

I'll be heading off to the airport in a couple of hours to take flight for Sydney. Hoping to get the final files for the Hooper ebooks before I go. It'd be nice to give them a push at the festival.

19 Responses to ‘Starting to think this crazy plan might just work’

Murphy_of_Missouri swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 19
Have a great flight, and congrats, John.

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Therbs reckons...

Posted May 19
Damn, had the JB merch stand set up outside The Sheaf and the rozzers made me move on. Maybe I shouldn't have put a set of signature felafel bongs and a limited edition Dave coke knife and chopping board on the brown display couch. Prolly shouldn't have also been using them at the time.

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jl has opinions thus...

Posted May 19
The plan is working... your book is on fire! Under 1000 globally is amazing. If a plan sounds stupid or crazy but it works, then it's not stupid or crazy.

Dave W puts forth...

Posted May 19
Correct, it then fits into one of Baldrick's 'cunning plans- a plan so cunning that if I put a tail on it, it would be a rat'.

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Barnesm is gonna tell you...

Posted May 19
Can we get a complaint from the religious extremists that the book is offensive to their religion. That's always good for a lots of 'frak you' sales from people wishing to prove them wrong.

Also if you could convince Games Workshop to challenge you on the basis that they have trade marked the term ' writer'.

Therbs is gonna tell you...

Posted May 19
Something like comparing himself to the publishers of The Bible maybe? Sit back and watch the kindle stats fly.

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Sparty2 has opinions thus...

Posted May 19
Well both the Bible and AoT are always killing off popular breakout characters....

Sudragon ducks in to say...

Posted May 21
Not to mention the racier parts of the Bible... there's a lot of 'begatting' going on for a holy book.

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WarDog is gonna tell you...

Posted May 19
Congrats John.

Definitely try to get someone to try and have the book banned. Maybe Murph could complain to his congressman about how you destroyed America once and will probably do it again.

Murphy_of_Missouri puts forth...

Posted May 19
My main complaint about John's destruction of America is that he failed to completely destroy Kansas City.

However, we have light rail now, so all we lack is a beach. That is somewhat made up for by our excellent barbecue.

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NBlob swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 19
A clever bloke said "Don't believe that which you most want to believe."

Who was that?

I would be planning on the floor opening up under your feet, a PalCon full of Pachyderm P!ss to fall on you or similar. Remember that your FGM job-shares with a psychotic practical joker.

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she_jedi asserts...

Posted May 19
Huzzah! World domination can't be too far away

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Rhino ducks in to say...

Posted May 20
Top 1000? What are we going to do to get it into the top 100?

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pitpat asserts...

Posted May 20
Crazy brave works again. Well done. You get to go to Sydney and I get to go to Adelaide, hmmm. I reckon you win

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Aaron reckons...

Posted May 20
I just had a silly marketing thought, you could include a recipe for felafel in your books as an obscure reference to where it all began or say a recipe related to each one like a Kansas BBQ or Dave's fav thing (cocaine steak?) I dunno just a thought

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insomniac asserts...

Posted May 20
I know you wanted controversy but having a plane disappear that was travelling between the title of your last book and the title of your next may be going a bit far.

Surtac reckons...

Posted May 20
I had a similar thought myself ...

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Rhino reckons...

Posted May 21
Off topic ... but this is awesome and I wished they had called it Skynet.

http://nextbigfuture.com/2016/05/us-navy-will-create-global-kill-web-of.html?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link

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JG swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 21
Congrats. You deserve it, JB. You were born with a lucky star, but the bottom line is that you not only have extraordinary talent. You work Damn Hard. As in 1000 times more than most. I don't know of a writer who has so many projects and long term goals going at the same time. I don't know how you do it. Raise a glass to yourself. May your indie publishing co prosper for a long time.
Cheers.

Joanna

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How to Be A Writer escapes into the wild

Posted May 18 into Books by John Birmingham

It's not officially released for a couple of weeks yet, but you just can't contain this beast. It has escaped. You'll find copies in random bookstores, mostly indies, I'd guess. But for anyone looking to grab one online I've reordered the shelves at my private bookstore. For now the links go to preorders. Best way to get one immediately is the old fashioned way.

I'm in Sydney for the Festival from Thursday arvo, but they've got me running around a lot while I'm there, and doing gigs both nights. I'm more likely to be free for a catch up when I return in Jul/Aug.

In related news, Cairo is doing very well. It's hovering around the top five in the categories I chose for it (alternate history and time travel) with my path to the top blocked by Stephen King and Philip K Dick.

I can live with that.

33 Responses to ‘How to Be A Writer escapes into the wild’

James ducks in to say...

Posted May 18
Ordered, but us poor Americans don't get to see it until August...

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FormerlyKnownAsSimon mumbles...

Posted May 18
Give me a greasy burger joint/time travel portal and i'll take them out for you so you reach the top. I can't guarantee that everyone will have forked lizard tongues by the time i get back though.

Barnesm asserts...

Posted May 18
No, surely not, If the King and Dick die won't that just cause a surge in their sales creating a greater challenge for Birmo's cream to rise to the top.

I think that metaphor could have gone somewhere unpleasant.

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Lulu asserts...

Posted May 18
My brother has writerly ambitions & a birthday coming up - he'll love this. If the internet isn't lying to me, I have managed to locate a copy in a Melbourne bookstore. ** happy dance **

pi ducks in to say...

Posted May 18
Can you let me know which store?

Lulu has opinions thus...

Posted May 18
Readings Carlton, according to their website.

pi ducks in to say...

Posted May 19
Shweet. Will detour past there tomorrow.

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DaveC would have you know...

Posted May 18
Looking forward to this! Enjoy Sydney, and bring the hovercraft over to the Auckland Festival sometime! :)

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insomniac has opinions thus...

Posted May 18
Ordered, and surprised it's already in the discount bin. It will be my belated birthday present to myself.

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DarrenBloomfield mumbles...

Posted May 18
JB - apologies if this is an inappropriate post - I understand if you remove it, but you've written now on a number of themes about being a writer/publisher/getting published, and you post the occasional link to the work of another...


In that vein, I want to spruick to you and Your Horde a (non-fiction) work of a friend and former work colleague of mine. His first book! A tale of perseverance and frustration of nigh on 8 years making.

But he recently got it published.

Nick worked for me primarily as a speechwriter. He was good at it, because he's a good writer.

As someone who wants to one day write, and more pertinantly, be published (self or otherwise) - I am in awe of those that pull it off.


So, I present to you "Spider Web: the birth of American anticommunism"


http://www.press.uillinois.edu/books/catalog/67dhc4mf9780252040023.html

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balri swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 18
I picked mine up a couple of weeks ago from Riverbend. It's a great read even though I'm not sure I'll ever be a writer

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pi puts forth...

Posted May 18
Hey JB, do you have any idea which bookstores in Melbs have it?

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Therbs mumbles...

Posted May 18
SWF attendance equals Fortune of War pub, drunken stumble to the festy, refused admittance to chosen gigs, shuttle bus back to the pub then off to see a 'splodey movie.

Lulu swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 18
Is that the writer or the readers?

Therbs asserts...

Posted May 19
Probably both, but that was my experience a few years ago.

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Therbs ducks in to say...

Posted May 18
Abbeys in York St, Sydney has it in stock.

insomniac is gonna tell you...

Posted May 18
Bugger. Was too lazy to check. Will now have to wait.

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Therbs would have you know...

Posted May 18
Friday concept - post lunch pub crawl from Walsh Bay through the Rocks finishing at Harts pub prior to the Friday evening talk.

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she_jedi mutters...

Posted May 18
SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY. Oh, Booktopia did. FINE. I'll just wait for it to be posted to me then :)

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NBlob puts forth...

Posted May 18
Mr Havock Sir would you be so kind as to ring the bells. We must discuss that Man Clumsy chap, the one with the pectorals. Yes him.

Rhino puts forth...

Posted May 20
I think that the politically correct term is chesticles.

NBlob would have you know...

Posted May 24
That may be the case, but it don't alter the issue at hand. Man Clumsy is stinking the joint up with spoilerific spoilcicles, drizled with spoily jus and served on a bed of esingle source spoils.

We are a broad minded group, tolerant of differences, indeed we celebrate cake decorating and cetacean fanciers. But this continued flouting must be called to account.

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jl puts forth...

Posted May 19
I just checked "Cairo's" status on Amazon- JB has beaten Stephen King!

John Birmingham mutters...

Posted May 19
Long live da King.

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Rhino mutters...

Posted May 19
Activating bat signal for my AUS - USA book procurement buddy. Must have !

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Quokka mutters...

Posted May 19
It is not yet in the Griffith library collection.
Your minions need to correct this.

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jason mumbles...

Posted May 20
Purchased a copy from Readings in Carlton.
I now have:
Kernel of an idea
Good intentions
JB as my guide

This time next year I will surely have a platinum plated hovercraft and an ego to match.

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Rhino ducks in to say...

Posted May 20
Yeah, I'll be getting an Oznians copy of this shipped to the bunker. Anyone have a problem with that?

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Rhino mutters...

Posted May 20
Yeah, I'll be getting an Oznians copy of this shipped to the bunker. Anyone have a problem with that?

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Therbs puts forth...

Posted May 20
Abbeys - York St Sydney has only a few copies left. They've also put up a sign on the footpath outside advertising it. I think they must have read the "Pimp Your Book" chapter.

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Rhino ducks in to say...

Posted May 21
Mine and Murph's copies will be here on Monday. WoooooHoooooo

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David S. swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 21
I don't want to boast (yes I do) but my copy was purchased & personally engraved by the man hisself at the festival thingy yesterday. Started reading it on the ferry going home and glad to see it's full of swearing and drug references - a real writer's guide!

Imagine if the sainted Hunter S. Thompson came back from wherever the heck he ended up, grabbed you by the scruff of the neck and said "Fuck son, this is the way to do things, bad things, and get paid for it." And then you woke up and realised it was all a dream, one you had to make come true or Cthulhu will come get you. It's like that only better.

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pi ducks in to say...

Posted May 22
Bought at the Dymocks on Collins St in Melbs if you wanna know where you can get it.

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Respond to 'How to Be A Writer escapes into the wild'

A well traveled copy of 'Weapons'.

Posted May 15 into Books by John Birmingham

I had an email from Jason Lambright, a reader (and now a writer), who had some kind words about Weapons of Choice, which helped get him through his time in some of the dustier parts of the world.

He writes, "I always carried my Sony Ereader in my assault pack along with grenades, flares, extra ammo, etc. It was always with me until it got fragged in the Andarab Valley (adjacent to the Panshir) in Afghanistan. Here is a photo I took in a village by the Konduz river, you can't see it but my assault pack (and my trusty ereader with your books on it) was in the turret with me."

Jason came home (Huzzah!) and set to writing some sci fi (Huzzah x2!)

The novel is called In the Valley and you can hit up the text link or the ad below to grab it. It's old fashioned military sci fi. The Dirty Dozen on the final frontier. I'm going through it now, making some notes to send him. You can just buy it, read it and enjoy it. Then go give him some reviews.

Go on. It's the least you can do.

20 Responses to ‘A well traveled copy of 'Weapons'.’

she_jedi has opinions thus...

Posted May 16
Done! I'm looking forward to this, it sounds good :)

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Murphy_of_Missouri puts forth...

Posted May 16
Double huzzahs are in order!

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insomniac puts forth...

Posted May 16
I too have purchased

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Therbs ducks in to say...

Posted May 16
Makes my whining about my copy of Tas Babes going missing for quite a few years seem a tad lame. At least it didn't get iced during run ins with beardy nutters.
I need another happy hour book and this the goods. By happy hour book I mean something to read in the pub after work whilst consuming the daily on tap specials. Beer 'n 'splodey go well together.
Off to the Bezos for me.

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Surtac reckons...

Posted May 16
Purchased. In the queue on the ipad.

Slaking my current thirst for 'splosions with Neal Asher's new one, War Factory.

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jl swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 16
I'd like to thank everyone at the Burger for your support, most of all JB. It is truly an honor.

I gladly carried the tenth-pound extra weight of the ereader in my rucksack, books such as John's were my sole escape in those forbidding mountains. A Chinese recoilless rifle finished off the ereader one fine day, and the incident contributed to my retirement.

On balance, things worked out- now I get to write books (the latest installment of the Valley series, "The Captain's Cauldron", should be out in early June) and hobnob with interesting people like you all!

Once again, it is an honor and a pleasure to be given the chance to entertain people. Thanks! Jason.

Murphy_of_Missouri is gonna tell you...

Posted May 17
Hmm, ereader destroyed by a recoiless, my Nintendo Game Boy destroyed by a falling radio. We have things in common . . . well, I suppose there is a difference.

Welcome to the Burger. Ignore the dead cow in John's pool. That is Rhino's fault. Boylan's going to make him pay for the damages.

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Rhino puts forth...

Posted May 17
Let's get our priorities straight here. Chinese recoil-less rifle tearing apart your e-reader? Big freaking deal.

Did you know that I had to wait almost 10 minutes this morning for the snooty MFA in Fine Arts Barista to make my venti, 2 extra shots, with cream Americano this morning. All the while he was giving me the stink eye for my JB is My Master Now in script above the cover of After America tattoo (It matches the "Yeah, I'm THAT Rhino" tatt. Passive aggressive douche wrote "Lover of plebian explodey lit" on my cup instead of my name. That, my friend, is the definition of real heroics and suffering.
Welcome aboard, Jason and hope that you can take the piss.

Murphy_of_Missouri swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 17
Fuck being a barrista. If I have to go back into customer service type shit, I'm gonna be a God Damned Bartender slinging Schiltz 'n shit.

Therbs has opinions thus...

Posted May 19
The eagle is circling. Check your emails.

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jl is gonna tell you...

Posted May 17
Thanks for the welcome, Rhino! You're a better person than I- an encounter like that in a coffee shop would have reduced me to a gibbering, sub-functioning ball of goo.

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NBlob asserts...

Posted May 17
Sorry for the Off Topic, but todays Blunty photo caption editor* needs a kick in the fundamental. "Storrar wit [sic WITH] his ".

* Does Fairfax still have caption editors, or are they just getting someone's red-haired step-child to do it?

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pedrogb reckons...

Posted May 17
Purchased, good luck with it all

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Halwes asserts...

Posted May 17
Thanks for the SMH column today John. Some very wise words there and the final paragraph is a great truth. Thanks again.

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Vovchara would have you know...

Posted May 18
Reading the book now. What can I say? Pretty awesome.

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Therbs ducks in to say...

Posted May 19
Seconded.

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John Birmingham ducks in to say...

Posted May 19
Reviews reviews reviews.

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jl reckons...

Posted May 19
Thanks, y'all. Feedback, for good or ill, is remarkably hard to come by. Just so you know, I have been pricing reasonable, modest yachts, no more than 200 feet or so.

Sudragon reckons...

Posted May 21
Have you had a look at Russian Navy Surplus?

jl mutters...

Posted May 21
Not thinking that far ahead yet, maybe I'll do that when I can afford my own army of minions. I'll leave world domination to JB, though. I would be quite content to putter around Aruba, maybe I could get him to deed it over to me.

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Respond to 'A well traveled copy of 'Weapons'.'

Thanks!

Posted May 12 into Books by John Birmingham

Just a quick note to say thanks to everyone who left a review on Cairo. It pushed the book up the popularity ranks, which gave it enough visibility to get into the Hot New Release listing. I'm pondering how to reward y'all.

25 Responses to ‘Thanks!’

insomniac puts forth...

Posted May 12
A tour of Brisvegas in the gold hovercraft? and not the crappy silver one either.

AuntyLou mumbles...

Posted May 12
With beer!

KreepyKrawly has opinions thus...

Posted May 12
On the brown couch!!!

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted May 12
The hovercraft has bean bags, not couches.

AuntyLou ducks in to say...

Posted May 12
Pick up your game JB! Some of us have standards...not to mention old lady hips! The only way I am managing beanbags is if there are male bunny equivalents to help me in and out. And lots of alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol.

Anthony mutters...

Posted May 13
Silk bean bags?

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Barnesm asserts...

Posted May 12
as a reward you could write more books for us to buy.

WarDog reckons...

Posted May 12
Yeah! Now it's a "hot new release" I want to buy it.
It must be good, Bezos says so.
I want to buy them all!

So pull your finger out John.
You have punters to please :-)

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Dave W swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 13
Some sort of pillow fight between the bunnies and the valkyries?

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Rhino asserts...

Posted May 13
I'm accepting most of the credit for my pimpage efforts.

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pitpat is gonna tell you...

Posted May 13
Good onya hope it translates to $

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Quokka reckons...

Posted May 13
Portuguese custard tarts for all!

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Therbs mumbles...

Posted May 13
We want more 'splosions. In a book.

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davenq has opinions thus...

Posted May 13
Hey bloke,
I joined this site just to see what you were doing.....I just bought The Dave series,,,1,2, and 3 ..now waiting on the rest ....just ordered Angels of Vengeance ,..because I thought it had finished..I don't do e=books ..but there you go...cheers
Dave

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted May 13
Dave, you've done enough. And the next long Dave will be available in paperback.

davenq puts forth...

Posted May 15
I don't even know enough ,...but ..holy shit ...you the "awthor" responding to one of the minions.......??? that is pretty cool (I am not worthy) ...your first book ..the falafel or whatever.......is it worth the read???...just asking....

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted May 15
You ever done share housing?

Peter in the bleachers asserts...

Posted May 15
Davenport, as JB muttered, if you have lived in a share house or two, it is well worth the read.

Therbs is gonna tell you...

Posted May 16
Avoid the film

Dave W reckons...

Posted May 16
Awww, the film ain't bad. Just different. Certainly it's not the book and shouldn't be taken to be part of the JB body of work.

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Rob Robinson reckons...

Posted May 17
JB - I can tell you how to reward us: hurry up and publish the third book!

And while you are at it I would really like to hear what happened in postwar Japan, if you can somehow weave that into the story. I just re-read Final Impact and the new novellas don't address many of very interesting scenarios you created.

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted May 18
No they don't, Rob. But I'll be returning to the mainline of the story in full length novels later this year. Including Japan.

Rob Robinson asserts...

Posted May 19
Thanks! I can't wait!

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Marc D has opinions thus...

Posted May 18
If we are edging onto the topic of 'further twists to the AoT Universe' how about dropping further ships/aircraft through from the future? You could position the spot where the original fleet had its little accident as a semi-permanent tear in time/space - A brand new Bermuda Triangle style zone. That way could leverage new technologies and could allow the timeline to diverge all over again.

Just a wild thought...

John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted May 18
I've often wondered what happened to those submarines that were part of the Fleet.

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Respond to 'Thanks!'

Admiral Kohlhammer's beer fridge

Posted May 9 into Books by John Birmingham

One of the things about going back into the Axis of Time series is the frustrating delight of contemplating all the technologies I missed. We didn't get fusion stacks. Instead of Posh we got Siri and Alexa. We did get flexipads, but we got them in the form of mobile phones.
Still, I don't see any point in slavishly adhering to the canon. So in Cairo we read a lot of detail about the mil-grade cell phones being used by Harry, Julia and Viv. I'm not sure flexipads are mentioned, and I'm certain that data slates are not. Nobody has complained yet.


So one of the things I'm enjoying as I return to the series is finding stuff that I can sneak in under the retcon radar. This bio-gel refrigerator concept for Electrolux, by Russian designer Yuriy Dmitriev is a great example.

Bio gel technology gets a few mentions throughout the original novels, enough to let me get away with putting something like this in the later books. Of course you can't build something like this with 1950s augmented technology – or at least I don't I think you can – but the nice thing about well-made refrigerators is that they run for years. And this bad boy doesn't even have any moving parts to break down. I can totally see Vice President Kohlhammer having a big green beer fridge just like this in his office. He couldn't keep his Heinekens in there, though. You'd never be able to find them.

19 Responses to ‘Admiral Kohlhammer's beer fridge’

Barnesm has opinions thus...

Posted May 9
yeah this reads like a great idea, someone in marketing pitches the idea to the CEO who then turns to the poor techy/engineer who is busy trying the get the latest 'brilliant' product to work as its meant to and is then told "this is a top priority'.

and what exactly is the design specification? "Demitriev notes that the cooling agents are the 'Bio robots' inherent in the gel use luminescence - light generated in cold temperatures (WTF? since when is that luminescence?)" Even in the article it says "Dmitriev doesn't really explain how it will work". REALLY.

This is why a lot of these designer types grind my gears. Systems that work best in nature tend to subscribe to the idea of form follows function, not ooohh lets build that, it looks cooooool.

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insomniac is gonna tell you...

Posted May 9
Who's gonna care that it doesn't work in real life. If it's in a book it's gonna work in our minds, and it's gonna be cool (no pun intended).

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Murphy_of_Missouri reckons...

Posted May 9
I suspect Kolhammer is probably a beer snob. Heineken just won't do.

Does lead me to wonder how many garage brewing nuts came back through the Transition who leave the service and start up their own craft breweries?

Dirk would have you know...

Posted May 9
I concur. As your Dutch advisor i would point out that Heineken over here is seen as regular. Grolsch or specialized Dutch or Belgian beers would be more appropriate. A few i like are the following:
https://www.speciaalbierwinkel.nl/bieren?id=403
http://www.biernet.nl/bier/merken/karmeliet-tripel
http://www.achouffe.be/nl

Apart from the fridge, a dyson handcleaner/blower would fit nicely in a mensroom, as would this:
https://medium.com/@maxbraun/my-bathroom-mirror-is-smarter-than-yours-94b21c6671ba#.7ertvoc2r

GhostSwirv mutters...

Posted May 10
I reckon Kolhammer would be a Grolsch fan, especially the cap seal bottles - I could see them also being used by Harry and Jules as a makeshift Section Six Molotov Cocktail ... or is that a Smedlov Slider?

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WarDog mumbles...

Posted May 9
I wouldn't write off fusion stacks yet.

I reckon there's about a 50% chance of something commercial coming of this in the next 5 years http://lppfusion.com/

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Marzuk reckons...

Posted May 9
I love looking at the things you mentioned in the book and reflect on what we actually have. Clinton is running for president the timing my be off and then again since the US doesn't name ships after living people she has to get elected and then die in the next few years. Im still waiting for my inplant that releases drugs and meds. wonder if red bull would partner with them so it can just dump taurine into my system, instant redbull boost For that matter surely one of the ships at some energy drinks on board. VP Kol would totally be at the front of the line for augmented tech, trying to grab as much to get that feel for home. I imagine him as an import drinker. Something he picked up a taste for in a port he visited in his earlier career.

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted May 9
I reckon Redbull would be all over your implants, once they got your credit card details.

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Turlogh Dubh O'Brien puts forth...

Posted May 10
Important beer-related thought -- If Munich is in Sov hands, will they still allow Oktoberfest? Obviously no visitors from the West.

Just as the East had a lot of Western guilty pleasures (Levi's jeans), does the West have Eastern guilty pleasures? I'm thinking of Baltika beer. Pretty decent stuff. Russian made but owned in OTL by Carlsberg (do the Sovs control Denmark too in AoT?), it sells pretty well on the European market.






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Guy ducks in to say...

Posted May 10
It would be good to see a map which shows exactly which bits the Russians have occupied and which bits are still free? Perhaps at the front of SH:Paris?

Turlogh Dubh O'Brien mutters...

Posted May 11
I second that. I love me a good map.

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Marzuk ducks in to say...

Posted May 10
No Oktoberfest? Time to build Popes wormhole machine and travel back in time (again) with a new fleet and better prepared this time. Must save Oktoberfest!

insomniac has opinions thus...

Posted May 11
That is an interesting question. Would they rebuild it? Could they do it using Temp/Augmented technology? Or will it be consigned to the circular filing cabinet of history?

Turlogh Dubh O'Brien mumbles...

Posted May 11
They rebuild it, use it and.....end up in the Without Warning universe, where they are promptly accused of causing the Disappearance...and voila, we have our crossover.

Don Bagert would have you know...

Posted June 2
JB has hinted a big twist at the end of Stalin's Hammer: Paris. At first, I thought it was that Dan Brown would still be alive (and that still might happen), but another possibility is that a new time-traveler is revealed. After all, even if time travel is not rediscovered until several centuries after the 21st, someone can still travel back to the mid-20th.

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Marzuk reckons...

Posted May 11
Perhaps Stalin will think of this, since he knows his USSR fails and falls apart. Perhaps instead of destroying the world he will travel back and jump his technology decades ahead

Turlogh Dubh O'Brien reckons...

Posted May 11
He does, ends up in Sydney circa 2000 something, one of his bioweapons accidentally gets released....and causes Here Be Monsters. I got more crossovers than Allen Iverson.

In all seriousness, how far back would he want to go? The October Revolution? Russo-Japanese War? The 1920 Battle of Warsaw? Peter the Great's Time? Mongol Invasions?

GhostSwirv ducks in to say...

Posted May 12


As long as someone goes back and stops Boney M's 'Rasputin' then all this mucking about in hyper-timelineyness-ness will have been worth it!

Anthony mumbles...

Posted May 13
And make sure Justin Beiber's parents never meet.

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Cairo on sale

Posted May 5 into Books by John Birmingham

Cairo went on sale today. Not that I expect to sell many copies initially, having just given away a couple of thousand freebies. But I do have my schemes and plots and cunning plans.

Initially, the book will only be available on Kindle, specifically in the KDP Select program. This means the Beast of Bezos get’s a grant of exclusivity for three months in return for some promotional juice and a better royalty deal. (Although, to be fair, Amazon’s royalty split is much more generous than any trade publisher).

I figure that having given away so many copies I’m better off parking it in Select for a couple of months until Paris comes out. I can then drop the price from $3.99 to either a buck or even to free. Why do this? Because free downloads count towards a books ‘popularity’ which helps with its visibility on various lists and charts. If you climb those charts you can generate enough momentum to sell a bunch of copies on the downside once you put the price back up again.

I could go into eye watering detail, but I won’t.

I sent out an email asking for reviews to the first 300 subscribers on my mailing list, which basically means to the regular readers of this blog . Again, these help with the arcane business of working the book’s mysterious popularity rating (but not it's sales rank. That is determined only by sales). So if you see this before you get the email, or if the email ends up in your spam trap, feel free to do me the courtesy of a decent reach around.

You'll find it here and on the other end of this Amazon link... (Unless, like me, you have an ad blocker installed. I really must get around to white listing my own site one day.)

I didn’t get much writing done today. I spent most of the day either working on this, writing a quick one-off column for The New Daily, and doing an interview for Channel 9 about Australia Post. Hoping to get back to Paris tomorrow.

30 Responses to ‘Cairo on sale’

pmacleod has opinions thus...

Posted May 5
I received one of the freebies, thanks John as I really needed the fix. I rea enjoyed the story as it is as gritty and eatense and credible as all the others in the Axis of time series. The plot builds really strongly and we are faced with your incredible cruelty
To be continued. I realyy appreciate being in your bookclub. The Axis of Time Franchise is my favorite book series I would buy it as soon as it appears anyway

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted May 6
Thanks, Mac. Mochas gracias. Which is like the usual gracias, but with chocolate.

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Sharpy ducks in to say...

Posted May 5
I have it stacked up on the Kindle ready to go this weekend. I've just finished writing the review on Amazon for you though. Just like most of my uni assignments I never really felt the need to read the source material before writing the task. I'm sure it will be just as good as my review says it will. Hopefully it keeps the Beast's little algorithms ticking along.

John Birmingham ducks in to say...

Posted May 6
Haha. This reminds me of that time at uni I got drunk with a girl I was chasing and had to write her essay on The Brother's Karamazov because she passed out. I had not then and have still not yet read The Brother's Karamazov, but I got her a good mark.
All I got for myself was a hangover.

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KreepyKrawly mumbles...

Posted May 6
Pimped at the beast, Have been telling friends, family and acquaintances of the great adventure within the digital covers that is Cairo.
Hope to see you in the new hovercraft soon... ß-Þ

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted May 6
I'll swing by in it and take you out for a spin.

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Surtac ducks in to say...

Posted May 6
Amazon review done. I'd already pimped it at the SF message board I help moderate.

Have you seen the site k-lytics.com John? It supposedly does Kindle sales analytics and reporting. It may be worth a look - Damien Walter has been touting it on Farcebook as being potentially useful for indie authors/publishers.

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted May 6
I'll have a look, Tac. There's a few of these tools around. Hadn't heard of this one.

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Rhino puts forth...

Posted May 6
Minion task completed, Master.

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Dave W would have you know...

Posted May 6
Pimped on Amazon and Facebook. Work work work. It seems that there just really isn't such a thing as a free lunch.

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted May 6
Ha! The only thing you get for free is the back o' me hand!

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Bondiboy66 is gonna tell you...

Posted May 6
I see how this works - give em a free taste or two until they are HOOKED, then jack the price up for the addicts hanging for their fix. Too late JB, I'm onto your plan! I bypassed all that and got the habit ages ago! Oh wait....


An aside - I've been rereading Leviathan after a lengthy break of years from the first read...the chapter Only The Strong about Sydney property developers is repeating itself once more here. Only without any form of union opposition. Same old story about greed, government complicity, vested interests and wholesale destruction of icons against the wishes of the majority. Fuck its depressing. You could rewrite the chapter with up to date names and it would ring true.

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted May 6
I could do that, but it would be hard work.

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Don Bagert ducks in to say...

Posted May 6
So through your post above, you are inviting those not in the first 300 to review? :)

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted May 6
Go for it. I'm dividing the mail up into a couple of segments because The Beast's algorithm prefers steady growth to a suspicious spike in sales and reviews. If you're on the list, you will eventually get your begging letter.

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insomniac puts forth...

Posted May 6
This is probably more a critique of the beta editing process, or perhaps how I approach the task, but I have read Cairo so many times with such a focus on the individual words that I find myself with only a vague idea of the story, and little desire at present to sit down and read it properly as a novel. The cliche about not being able to see the wood for the trees is very apt.

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted May 6
Ha! Welcome to my life.

Rhino reckons...

Posted May 7
One does not whine when one is part of the JBBRHCRC (JB Beta Readers Hard Core Reading Corps).

You will read the story slowly, once, to appreciate our Master's mastery of plot and pacing. You will not read it twice for story as that would be for pleasure and we are NOT in that business.

Then, you delve into looking for the very, very rare typos, plot holes, etc. Most of which are inserted by bugs in the word processing code as our Master is well nigh perfect.

Most of all, you will toil without fail; without whinging; without recompense; and, without acknowledgment. You will be grateful for the opportunity.

Now, get back to it and don't let me see you doing this again.

insomniac puts forth...

Posted May 7
so I probably shouldn't mention the typo I found in SH: Rome?

HAVOCK21 reckons...

Posted May 8
that was a Rhino fk up NOT ME!!!

just sayin!!!>...

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GhostSwirv asserts...

Posted May 6
My liege the deed is done - Cairo review is up, stack of marking is down, Twitter is live and the Cheese is sweet.

Two Brother's beer awaits

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Sparty reckons...

Posted May 6
Birmo - The Brother's Karamazov- and I bet you wrote that review purely off having watched the movie cause the Shat and a West world robot was in it....

John Birmingham mutters...

Posted May 6
How do you know so much about me?

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pi has opinions thus...

Posted May 6
Hey JB, I learn so much about the whole publishing thing from you with these types of posts. It really is appreciated. The only dead-tree book I plan on buying for the foreseeable future is your how-to tome. Can't wait.

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Jeats would have you know...

Posted May 6
I have a really dumb question - when purchasing ebooks, specifically in the epub format, will a need a specific reader or will google reader be able to handle it?

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Rhino would have you know...

Posted May 7
I gave you the double dip ... I bought it AND downloaded it on Kindle Unlimited.

The equivalent of a Publishing Reach Around.

You're welcome.

John Birmingham ducks in to say...

Posted May 8
This is why so many aspire to be The Rhino, but only one ever is.

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Barnesm would have you know...

Posted May 7
Bought an e-copy through Amazon last week when you posted the announcement on facebook. Will add a positive review once they send me the in email, 'you recently purchased Cairo what did you think..?' so it doesn't look suspicious.

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AuntyLou would have you know...

Posted May 9
Reviewed as requested. Apologies for being tardy.

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Turlogh Dubh O'Brien mumbles...

Posted May 10
Read. Enjoyed. Posted review.

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