Cheeseburger Gothic

Free stuff.

Posted March 13, 2013 into Writing by John Birmingham

Nothing flushes away the unpleasantness of dealing with the tax collectors like free stuff.

With that in mind, here's a bunch of free Philip K. Dick ebooks and audio books, for free.

Courtesy of Open Culture.

5 Responses to ‘Free stuff.’

An Idle Dad reckons...

Posted March 13, 2013
You've published that link before, haven't you?

In any case, is great stuff.

Beyond Lies the Wub - awesome

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HAVOCK21 swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted March 13, 2013
hey!, I watched REDTAILS last night.....FKN AWESOME, foreget all the ......subliminal supposed fkn shit ra ra ra ......its HOLLYWOOD and AND its Speili berg baby. FKN WICKED!

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johnbirmingham swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted March 13, 2013
Don't think so. I thought it was a new offer. But at any rate... free shit!

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Barnesm would have you know...

Posted March 13, 2013
Did his android head ever turn up?

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Jacques Stahl has opinions thus...

Posted March 13, 2013
iTunes says no can download, only available to American customers........?

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Respond to 'Free stuff.'

A pretty massive deal.

Posted October 12, 2012 into Writing by John Birmingham

No, I haven't signed any movie contracts. I grabbed that phrase from an email sent to an aspiring freelance writer, Matt Smith, by Joe Hildebrand of the Daily Telegraph. Hereinafter known as The Terror.

The Smith-Hildebrand imbroglio has gone a little bit of viral on the fringes of Media World. Mumbrella has a great writeup with contributions from both Smith and Hildebrand here. I want to grab a couple of highlights, but for baby writers just starting to make their way in the game the original piece is worth reading in full.

You'll accept our lousy per word rate and you'll like it!

Long story short. Smith, who is a part-time freelancer with a reasonable track record of getting his byline into places like Crikey, The Drum and The Punch had an idea for a quick piece about reality TV and the travails of the Ten Network. Hildebrand found it "vaguely interesting" and offered to print it. (I've never before heard of an editor offering to print something they found only "vaguely interesting", but he coined that description after everything turned to custard, so maybe it's a bit of retroactive sub editing)

Smith was understandably excited at the 'commission'. (There's a reason for the air quotes, which I'll get to). He'd never before submitted any copy to The Terror, which is far and away the most successful newspaper in Sydney. At least in terms of circulation. Hildebrand had asked him for a headshot to run with the piece, and Smith wrote back asking what dimensions he would require. He also, a little late in the piece as it turns out, asked about the word rate. The what now?

How much he would be paid.

Hildebrand replied via email: “Sadly we’ve got a moratorium on paid contributions at the moment mate, so I can only offer you fame. Any dimension headshot will do.”

Smith, somewhat taken aback, volleyed a return: “Hi, Joe. That’s a tough ask for an emerging/aspiring journalist – especially when sites like Daily Life manage to give contributors some money – so I hope you can understand my disappointment. Please run the twitter handle at the end at least, and let me know when the piece will run. Photo attached.”

The photo would not be required. Hildebrand informed the would-be tabloid columnist that getting published in The Terror "is a pretty massive deal for an aspiring journalist mate and you just blew it. Take your piece elsewhere."

And that's it, the shareware lite version. Writing for Mumbrella, Matt Smith makes some reasonable points about the iniquity of successful tabloid newspapers expecting freelancers to work for… well, free, and you'll damned grateful for the opportunity to do so. (An opportunity for free exposure that isn't offered to The Terror's advertisers).

Hildebrand points out that successful tabloid newspapers are inundated with unsolicited copy, contributor budgets are minuscule (he's not lying) and there are any number of other 'aspiring' writers who would be happy just to get that byline published. (Again, he's not lying).

I could take sides in this, but I'm not going to. Well, not much. As a lifelong freelancer my sympathies obviously lie with Smith. When a large commercial operation such as a newspaper accepts a piece for publication, they should pay for it. Even if the payment is only a token amount. Little fish are sweet, as Terry Lewis the famously corrupt former Police Commissioner of Queensland once said. They may not feed you, but in the world of freelancing, especially when you're just starting out, those little fish do help convince the tax office that you're serious about running a business. Even a token payment allows a freelancer to begin claiming tax breaks on their costs.

The equation begins to break down when you move into web publishing where the advertising revenue model is much more precarious and the precedent of free copy, aggregating and bottom feeding has "long" been established. But The Daily Telegraph is not a bottom feeding website.

On the other hand, I have some sympathy with Hildebrand who would spend a significant proportion of his day dealing with entitled lackwits. Just to be clear, I don't include Smith amongst their number. Anybody who has spent any time in publishing or media will have had the experience of clueless amateurs pressing upon them crumpled handfuls of poorly written notes, sometimes with diagrams, outlining some earthshaking story that needs to be published but can't be because the mainstream media is in the thrall of hidden powers and dark forces and yada yada yada.

And shit writing, of course. You see a lot of shit writing.

You also see a lot of hungry, hard eyed young chancers, hundreds of them emerging from campus writing programs and communications degrees every year. All of them getting up in your face, ready to chew out your eyeballs if it moves them that little bit closer to their career goals.

So yeah, I can understand Hildebrand's snark and disgruntlement. But as a freelancer I just don't give a shit about it. His problems are not mine. Me and my people, we got our own problems.

So, let's get to the meat of this. What should Smith have done?

First of all, he should never have written the piece. At least not in the way that he did. On spec, without even testing the ground before he stepped out. If you want to avoid wasting your time as a freelancer, do not go writing stories for editors who have not commissioned them.

Got a great idea? Or what you think is a great idea? Then you ring up somebody like Hildebrand, or email them, or DM them on twitter, or whatever. And you pitch them the idea. Apparently, if it's even "vaguely interesting" you're in with a shot. But a pro-tip from JB? Why don't you try and make it something more than "vaguely interesting".

If the idea is appealing to them and they agree to "take a look at it" – and that's all they will ever agree to – then you can ask them about the contributor budget. The word rate.

Your payday.

Prepare yourself for disappointment.

They didn't ask for your story. They don't need it. They might eventually want it. But unfortunately, Hildebrand is right. There are plenty of other writers and an almost unlimited supply of other stories going cheap, and in most cases free. And it's not just baby writers cutting the legs out from under the market. Politicians, lobbyists, academics, shameless self promoters, urgers, pimps, front men, agents… They are legion, and they don't care about getting paid. They really do just want the exposure.

What do you do if someone like Hildebrand says there's no money in the kitty. Or that there is money, but it's a laughable amount, an insult?

That my friends is down to you. Personally, I mostly tell people to fuck off these days. Not always. I'll do a couple of worthy charity gigs every now and then. But mostly it's fuck off. This is how I pay my mortgage, feed my children, keep the hovercraft afloat, you know the sob story. The guy who turns up to fix the filter on my pool doesn't do it to "get his name out there in front of people". He does it for $140. Although, while we're here, Brisbane Pool Boys – I can't recommend them highly enough.

It might be, that if you are in the position of a Matt Smith – you're a young, reasonably established but still "aspiring" freelancer – you just swallow your pride and take the hit. Give them the copy. Clip the article. Add it to your portfolio. If your portfolio is looking pretty thin, especially for print-only material, a couple of pieces like that can help. But only a couple. You don't do yourself any favors by becoming known as someone who will give it away for free. If your copy is that good they will eventually have to pay you for it. I'd suggest a maximum of two or three freebies before you turn off the tap. If they're not paying you by then, they never will. They're just exploiting you.

How then to deal with an editor like Hildebrand who has told you the cupboard is bare, but he'd like to take your lousy, only vaguely interesting story anyway?

If you've decided to wear the humiliation, accept the power imbalance, and grab the marginal utility of getting your byline into hard copy, then don't be a dick about it. The cheap fucking prick who's stealing your story is being a big enough dick for both of you. You don't need to come over like 'umble Uriah Heap, bowing and scraping and grateful for the chance to kiss their unwashed arse. But I wouldn't go showing them how much you've been hurt and offended by getting corn holed on payment either. Hard to believe, I know, but editors have feelings too, and mostly they're even more embarrassed than you are about the payment issue. You want to take it up with someone? The people who are really responsible for this? Get yourself a cheap flight to Google HQ and go kick down the doors of the boardroom.

Bottom line. There are occasions, very rare and mostly to be found in the earliest days of your writing career, when giving it away for free will work in your favor. But always remember you cannot make a living out of doing that forever, or even very often. If Joe Hildebrand doesn't have the money to pay for your article, perhaps Joe Hildebrand can do without it. I'm almost certain he'd agree.

52 Responses to ‘A pretty massive deal.’

HAVOCK21 would have you know...

Posted October 12, 2012
Its never ceases to amaze me really, how the print industry in general is a dog of a fkn place when it comes to paying people. I should mention, I mean, for starters and quite possibly those with some longevity too.

When yo read that, add in what you know about all the other heart aches and issues ( most;ly these have been found out, but listening to JB recount his so dire trials and tribulations as a baby starter outer writer and living of basically fresh air) and you wonder why we even have books at all. I'm also wonder what the TOP'em self rate is amongst writers...I fear the answer is not what it should be, or maybe just they die of starvation, either way, one thing is for sure............FK THAT FOR A BOWL OF GOLD FISH and I'd be inclined to ram the fkn ed as well!

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Ross asserts...

Posted October 12, 2012
I was once contracted as one of a number of feature players in a commercial. Commercial had a cast and crew of about 150 and was for a UK liquor brand. The contract covered all media, including posters and film screenings.

After the commercial wrapped, they later decided they didn't want to go for the print ads, and contacted my agent asking me if I'd take a lower fee "as a favour for the industry."

My agent rang and asked me what I thought, and I said, "They had about 150 people on set, a movie director doing it, and two fucking helicopters in the thing and they want to cut my agreed and contracted fee by a grand "as a favour"? What favour does that do me excatly? What are they gonna do if I don't, not cast me in the lead for the next "Mission:Impossible" franchise? Tell them to go fuck 'emselves with a stick."

My agent was in agreement.

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Ross is gonna tell you...

Posted October 12, 2012
blockquote>On the other hand, I have some sympathy with Hildebrand who would spend a significant proportion of his day dealing with entitled lackwits.

Piers Akerman?

And shit writing, of course. You see a lot of shit writing.

Piers Akerman?

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caldron_baidu is gonna tell you...

Posted October 12, 2012
now that's what I call "Fair and Balanced" with insight and 'teachable moments' to boot

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Timmo puts forth...

Posted October 12, 2012
Yean I folowed this one off your Twitter feed JB and it's an interesting point - in my mind mostly for the almost equally balanced comments on the "that's unfair, exploitative and just plain rude" side vs the "suck it up, whiny princess, that's how the industry works" side.

It's a really interesting view into the insider/outsider mentalities in the media industry. As I said in a post on the Mumbrella article:

'This reminds me much of the kitchen culture of chefs abusing kitchen staff (a la Gordon Ramsay), it’s offensive and unacceptable to those outside the industry but accepted as “just the way the industry works” by those in the system. For those wanting to get into the system, like Matt, I guess they’re in the two worlds balancing between “this isn’t OK, and I want to fix it” and “this is how it works and I can’t change it”. It’s just about picking a stance that suits you and being happy with it, I guess.'

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JG ducks in to say...

Posted October 12, 2012
I would never do any writing or editing work for free. Never. Just not on. I have an Master of Arts (MA) in writing, editing, and publishing from The University of Queensland. I didn't study my butt off for nothing.

Thankfully, I no longer want to work as a professional writer or editor, but if I was looking for freelance writing or editing gigs, I would only accept work that paid, and paid well. I named my price in the past--a respectably high rate--and would do so again if I worked a writer or editor.

Do not work for free.

Joanna :)

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JG would have you know...

Posted October 12, 2012
^a Master of Arts, dammit.

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JG puts forth...

Posted October 12, 2012
^fuckn hell. just can't get it right today. Fuck'n Friday. Your fault, Havock. Meant 'as a writer or editor'. *$#%((4! I spit in your face, editing.

;)

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Blarkon mutters...

Posted October 12, 2012
People expect to read shit without paying for it, yet get awfully shirty when writers aren't paid shit for writing the stuff that the people want to read for free.

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spokenoise ducks in to say...

Posted October 12, 2012
Joe won't mind if I don't pay to read the articles he doesn't pay for then will he?

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HAVOCK21 puts forth...

Posted October 12, 2012
FKN HELL! JG..SICk'EM REX!

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SmartMonkey swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 12, 2012
Print newspapers have 5 years of life left, 3 if your pessimistic. Then ol' Joe Hildebrand will be singing for his supper along with everybody else who used to make a crust out of the tabloids.

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JG is gonna tell you...

Posted October 12, 2012
Yes. I will go get them, Havock, and I will chew their dopey, frugal balls off. If necessary. I trained in dinosaural arts from a young age. Rex Hunt has nothing on me.

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John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted October 12, 2012
Ha, spokennoise wins.

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damian swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 12, 2012
"But The Daily Telegraph is not a bottom feeding website."

That's a matter of opinion, Shirley? I'm quite sure they have fed and continue to feed many "bottoms".

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Murphy would have you know...

Posted October 12, 2012
Actual payment for my first published short story?

1. A full color illustration of said story.

2. A payment amount so low that I did some horse trading for a six month subscription of said publication for myself and one for a friend of mine in New Zealand.

That was it.

For the record, the same story has been republished twice, once online for free (that place now pays ten bucks but for me it was free) and once in audio format, again for free.

At the end of the day, it doesn't anger me much. How I was treated by that publication in subsequent months and years angers me. That said, I had a pretty good idea going in what might happen. On the other hand, I got a certain level of credibility as a writer with that first publication.

The second one? Originally slated to get one cent per word, they upped to pro US rates before publication. They could have told me to fuck myself and take the one cent but they gave me the five cents per word.

Good people at Apex Magazine, run by Jason Sizemore here Stateside. That story was reprinted in their anthology and it is still available. The previous publication, on the other hand, has been more or less scoured from that mag's website.

In any case, it is a judgement call. However, writing for free is so much bullshit. One may as well stick to blogging.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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Blarkon puts forth...

Posted October 12, 2012
Every time you read about a paywall going up - you get a certain segment of people saying "Well I'm not fucking paying for content, I'll just go somewhere else". These are the same people who run adblock software and never click on advertisements.

I'm firmly in the "Harlan Ellison "Pay The Fucking Writer"" camp - but a substantial part of the Internet has an insane sense of entitlement when it comes to free access to the fruits of other's labors - just because those fruits can be copied endlessly at no cost.

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Blarkon puts forth...

Posted October 12, 2012
It's not that these sites don't think writers shouldn't get paid - as Arriana Huffington said - it's that the:

*AUDIENCE DOESN'T THINK THE WRITER SHOULD GET PAID BECAUSE THEY REFUSE TO PAY FOR CONTENT*

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zeniph has opinions thus...

Posted October 12, 2012
An example of how emails, compared to verbal conversations, can so easily go so badly wrong - perhaps especially between Gen Y - X.

On principle I’m on Matt’s side - you want you pay, even a nominal amount. If I read his email response putting myself in Hildebrand’s shoes though it does sound ever so slightly rude. Assuming that it’s the first time they’ve corresponded.

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TC mumbles...

Posted October 12, 2012
If you've got something good enough for people to come back for, there's never any harm in giving some out for free to get people interested. Drug dealers have known this for decades (centuries? millenia?) and there's never a shortage of them or their product.

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Bec Waterhouse has opinions thus...

Posted October 12, 2012
So you don't work for corn chips then?

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WarDog mumbles...

Posted October 12, 2012
@Blarkon I have some good stats on how many people run ad blockers (at least for word games on the Android platform). It's about 1%. Frankly it's a low enough percentage that I don't give a toss about that miserly lot.

The majority of people are happy to trade a few targetted ads for content. In this case game play instead of prose. But it's all ones and zeros in the end.

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Naut ducks in to say...

Posted October 12, 2012
I read this as a case of "just because you CAN be an dick, doesn't mean HAVE to be a dick" rather than whether it's right or not whether he should be paid.

Supply and demand suggests that if your product is desirable enough, people will pay our for it.

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Paul Nicholas Boylan puts forth...

Posted October 12, 2012
It is the same story when it comes to academic writing. I wrote this really fascinating piece on the rule against perpetuities. It had a lot of footnotes so I knew it was good. So I sent it off to the Harvard Law Review. They sent the envelope back with a note thanking me for my submission but stating that the Harvard Law Review doesn't accept unsolicited articles. I thought, what the fuck? Are there agents who represent academics? Hell no. So I called the Editor in Chief. I told the phone receptionist I was his doctor with some news on his recent AIDS test so I got right through to him. And I told him, hey, chump, I wrote the most exciting piece on the rule against perpetuities that has been publishes in over a century. Well, he asked me to send it, and I did, and he read it, and he loved it! He said he wanted to publish it in the next issue. So I asked how much pay I could expect and that asshole told me that they didn't pay anybody for articles because it was an honor just to get an article accepted by the Harvard Law Review. I told him to go fuck himself and that was that.

Never did get that article published. I read it every now and then to refresh my understanding of the rule against perpetuities. That law never gets old.

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John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted October 12, 2012
Except, Naut, that the internet supplies an infinite amount of alternative product for free. Product that can be copied and distributed without cost or constraint.

It has broken the old model of media and publishing. New models will arise, but they wont look anything like the old supply and demand equation.

That's the delicious irony of this. Hildrebrand will be Smith's position after News collapses. (Although Hildebrand is building a personal brand, so in a sense, unlike Smith, he won't be selling copy, for which unlimited supplies of free alternative product are available. Rather he'll be selling 'Joe', perhaps to TV or whatever replaces it, for which he is a monopoly provider).

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Therbs mutters...

Posted October 12, 2012
I reckon Hildebrand came off as a smug entitled git here, but that's probably because I already had that perception of him. Didn't realise he was one of Unky Rupes. Not that there's anything wrong with it, I just thought most of them were rabid brown shirts; not smug, ABC doco flouncers.

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Jeni Bone asserts...

Posted October 12, 2012
Hi JB, it's the other JB here. I have lost emails in hard drive explosion (one in a million Toshiba tells me . . . ) I wanted to ask you to come to the GC as guest/host of Media Club Awards. There's a fee, accomm at swanky Marriott, plus a bottle of booze in it for you! And our adoration. What's your email again and I will fill in the deets???

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John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted October 12, 2012
A juicy fee, free hotel room and booze. See, Padawan, that's how you do it.

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Jeni Bone mutters...

Posted October 12, 2012
Juicy? No, but because they wouldn't have to pay for airfares since you're Brisvegas and GC is a burp down the road, they will give you the princely sum of whatever last year's guy got. E me and I can beg properly . . .

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Jennifer Morton has opinions thus...

Posted October 12, 2012
JG, thanks for the laugh, I really needed it .....Have a great weekend dammit!!!

JB, love your work. Thanks!

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Jeni Bone puts forth...

Posted October 12, 2012
How do I get my face on that id thingie???

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JR puts forth...

Posted October 12, 2012
Hilda comes across as a petulant git here. Smith might be guilty of being naive in expecting payment for unsolicited copy during the great newspaper crash of 2012 but Hilda didn't act professionally in dealing with this. Should he be professional? When you work for News Corpse and you're dealing with people, I'd say the answer is yes.

Maybe I'm a bit old school, but if something is good enough to publish and slap advertisements around, then you pay the damned writer.

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damian swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 12, 2012
http://en.gravatar.com/

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DrYobbo would have you know...

Posted October 12, 2012
Thanks Spammy Fucker, I am also a massive One Direction fan but that's not important right now. The moral of this story is the same one I understood to be the case many years ago at university entrance time: writing for money is a mug's game and will keep you poor forever, unless you have an exceptional point of difference.

Unfortunately I figured SCIENTS would be a more reliable source of coin. More fool me.

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DrYobbo would have you know...

Posted October 12, 2012
Also, Hildebrand is a massive twunt and I'd be moderately pleased if he caught syphilis from a donkey.

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damian puts forth...

Posted October 12, 2012
Catching syphilis from a donkey is complicated. How about if he just caught fire?

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Sir Henry Casingbroke mumbles...

Posted October 12, 2012
Well, actually, JB, nobody knows how shit your writing when it has been published because an experienced, wise and often clairvoyant sub has been through it and gave it a decent clean. Joe is no exception.

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w from brisbane is gonna tell you...

Posted October 12, 2012
Certainly that Joe Hildebrand media persona, which I would describe as Piers Akerman after 5 schooners, is shown not to be a put on.

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w from brisbane is gonna tell you...

Posted October 12, 2012
Here's a clip for Dr Yobbo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTQem4e9rGM

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damian has opinions thus...

Posted October 12, 2012
Sir Henry: this is the "wire brush and dettol" sort of clean? Is it at least a bit gentler than an ammonia enema?

w: I am frightened of this "Piers Akerman after 5 schooners" concept. Surely Piers is close to a normal person after 15 schooners and then a brief empathy scouring (in amalgam of mercury) and a sobering brace of sea water delivered at 80 knots.

So if Hildie is Piers after 5, surely we can just push him into the sea?

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NBlob asserts...

Posted October 12, 2012
There is demand, but no market.

There is plenty of examples of producers developing a product, then a market EG Pikachu, or vacuum cleaners. But I don't think I could name another situation quite like this.

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Lobes would have you know...

Posted October 13, 2012
I'm giving you this comment but I want payment for the next one.

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John Birmingham reckons...

Posted October 13, 2012
Sorry Lobes. I already torrented your next comment.

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tqft would have you know...

Posted October 13, 2012
This is amusing to me as I had an idea I was going to write up and flick to the BrisbaneTimes to see if they would publish it.

Deprive JB of some extra disco balls and hovercraft polish

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MickH asserts...

Posted October 13, 2012
YAY! Damian!

I've been trying to find that site again for ages

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Spanner reckons...

Posted October 13, 2012
This sort of guff goes on in some other professions, photography is prime example. I've even had land developers try it on with me in my field of town planning when I was doing some consulting work outside of local government.

A land development company called for expressions of interest to prepare town planning reports for a new subdivision. I submits me a response the the brief. Then the project manager, whom for the purposes of this retelling we shall call Simon Scrotum Face, calls me and say they would love for me to prepare the documentation but they don't have a budget to pay me. Can I do it for advertising exposure?

I asked SSF if the civil engineers and surveyors were being paid. SSF said of course because they are important. SSF tells me that I just "put the words together to keep Council happy and anyone can do it". SSF and I parted ways.

What I draw from this is that people whose skills are poorly understood, photographers, some tech writers, most or all freelance writers and even some professionals can be offered this kind of "do it for free" crap offer.

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w from brisbane is gonna tell you...

Posted October 13, 2012
Hi, Cheeseburgers

Though I won’t comment on the money thing, Joe does irritate me. His metier is to sling inaccurate insult. Here he does it again. A grievous and incorrect attack on another writer’s commas!!!

Matt Smith began his email : Hi, Joe

Joe sniped: Notwithstanding that he clearly does not know how to use punctuation in greetings.

Matt Smith’s use of the comma was entirely correct as the greeting was in the direct address form. Put “comma greeting direct address” into google and you will get link after link advising that "Hi, Joe" displays the correct positioning of the comma.

This is typical of most of Joe Hildebrand’s zingers. They are wrong.

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yankeedog mumbles...

Posted October 13, 2012
"Hildebrand informed the would-be tabloid columnist that getting published in The Terror “is a pretty massive deal for an aspiring journalist mate and you just blew it. Take your piece elsewhere.”"

I dunno. I think when young Henry Ford went to the buggy whip company to apply for work, he heard something similar from the Buggy Whip Boss. And I think conventional publishing is going the way of said buggy whip.

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petebowes puts forth...

Posted October 13, 2012
$140 ..?

They saw you coming mate .. who needs to sell words

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Abe Frellman mutters...

Posted October 13, 2012
Good call, Spanner. I know someone who makes a very decent living from drafting DA applications who used to be in town planning. If people get something for free, why will they value it? (Which is sort of the point - and one both Mr H and his employers are going to have to face into at some stage. )

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NBlob would have you know...

Posted October 14, 2012
OT, sorry.

A cracker read, if a trifle heavy for a Sunday Morning.

http://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/4308906.html

Ten years on: Indonesia's anti-terrorism advances

Looks like the Caliphate was strangled at birth due to the combined efforts of Densus88 & the AFP.

I may mock the constabulary, but this shows the real benefit of slow, methodical, careful & collabrative policework. Not so much kicking in doors waving guns, more financial analysis and painstaking chemistry.

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Dokter’s Weekly Report #10 | Dokter Waldijk swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 14, 2012
[...] pretty massive deal – Read it This is a too common misconception I am met with very often. That you should write a story, then [...]

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