Cheeseburger Gothic

Gentlemen, prepare to receive the enemy

Posted July 20, 2015 into House keeping by John Birmingham

Not sure why, but we have trolls. Possibly related to a tweet I sent about the Reclaim Australia rallies. You'll notice the occasional one line comment, usually abusing the first commenter in any given thread. I have snuffed out a hand full already.

Those with access to the comment deletion cannon may now exercise free fire privileges.

27 Responses to ‘Gentlemen, prepare to receive the enemy’

Bangar swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted July 20, 2015
I shall not be so hesitant in the future ;)

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HAVOCK21 reckons...

Posted July 20, 2015
whats giving fkn seppos fkn access keys ffsakes!...bimmminghumm!

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Therbs is gonna tell you...

Posted July 20, 2015
Okay, which one of you two is Trolly McTroll?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan puts forth...

Posted July 20, 2015
If the only two candidates for that title are Bangar and myself, then it would have to be me.

NBlob swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted July 20, 2015
Is Troll's name Will? 'Cos that'd be, you know, good.

Bangar mutters...

Posted July 20, 2015
PNB never, your insight and intelligence are as renowned as your occipital crest. May you bless our shores again.

HAVOCK21 asserts...

Posted July 20, 2015
Im gunna slap the fkr till his fkn cross eyes go straight!

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NBlob asserts...

Posted July 20, 2015
I see the strangest firing emplacement eva. Aunty Q with fine baked goods. (never underestimate a good pie-ing) PNB with absurdism & venomous wit veiled thinly. Wrinkly's fine fire-pointed jabbing stick. Havoc's heavy armour burbling with menace. While a lizard emperor stands by in a u=G(m1 + m2) orbit.

Bangar mumbles...

Posted July 21, 2015
And Bangar not being seen ... because that's how it should be ... when done right.

NBlob reckons...

Posted July 21, 2015
Indeed

Quokka would have you know...

Posted July 22, 2015
Oh pfft. Like there'd be baked goods left to throw with any of this lot in the artillery lines. Spanner, Greybeard, Nblob, the Scribe...all of whom have eaten double serves of baked cheesecake & looked like they would do far worse if left alone with any sugary fat-laden carbs.Just keep lobbing frozen 4&20s at the intruders & they'll figure it out.

NBlob puts forth...

Posted July 22, 2015
I'll have you know that sugary fat-laden carbs are my favourite.

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pi is gonna tell you...

Posted July 20, 2015
Damn. I missed it.

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Spanner has opinions thus...

Posted July 20, 2015
Greybeard is the Troll. Let's all smite him.

NBlob reckons...

Posted July 20, 2015
Clean your specs, he just so looks like a troll.

Spanner would have you know...

Posted July 21, 2015
But my trigger finger is itchy.

Quokka is gonna tell you...

Posted July 22, 2015
yeah I think that's tinea, but if I were you I'd see a doctor, just the same.

Darth Greybeard mutters...

Posted July 22, 2015
I have to confess, I do a rather good "WHO DARES TO CROSS MY BRIDGE!" but that's a different kind of troll. Apropos of which, there aren't any goats around here I hope.
As for Spanner, I've heard some odd euphemisms in the past (Old Persuader?) but Trigger Finger is a new one. And Quokka is right. If that's itching, see a doctor.

damian mutters...

Posted July 22, 2015
I think the proper purpose of the Clicky Button of Smiting is to kill and repost your own typos. But that's not OCD at all...

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HAVOCK21 has opinions thus...

Posted July 20, 2015
I'm gunna fkn randomly fkn sray the lotta ya motherfkrs. WHERE SMY FKN CANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Murphy_of_Missouri puts forth...

Posted July 20, 2015
Flipping the selector switch from safe to semi.

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BostonJoe mumbles...

Posted July 21, 2015
Is no corner of the internet safe from these vermin? Hit 'em with a bunker buster or two.

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Barnesm asserts...

Posted July 21, 2015
Troll on.

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GhostSwirv would have you know...

Posted July 21, 2015

I see an intrepid rag-tag team of Troll Busters venturing into the dark realms of the inter-webs, armed with only their characteristic wit, sparkling personalities and oh - the latest in military-grade software.

I salute you and can sleep better knowing that you are out there, somewhere, everywhere ready to do battle with the vermin of the RWNJ confederacy.

I just have a question which one of you is the cool Robert Redford type and who is role-playing Bill Murray?

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Lobes asserts...

Posted July 21, 2015
Come at me Plebs

Murphy_of_Missouri has opinions thus...

Posted July 22, 2015
With pugio or gladius? Or perhaps a good, sharp Spatha.

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Respond to 'Gentlemen, prepare to receive the enemy'

An Oral History of the Monster Wars

Posted May 26, 2015 into House keeping by John Birmingham

Inspired by Steve Stirling’s imminent anthology I’d like to run an idea past you all. As you know, there are two Dave Hooper ebooks coming out later this year – although Dave is only mentioned in one (SOUL FULL OF GUNS), and appears as an extra in the other (A PROTOCOL FOR MONSTERS), with no point of view passages. These will be the last big releases for the series this year, but I have two other possible side projects involving the Dave, and potentially involving y’all, at least in one case.
I’d like to publish a collection of fanfic stories from Dave World, but in a very particular way. I want to collect eye witness accounts of the war between the UnderRealms and the Above. An obvious example of this format from recent genre fiction is World War Z, but WWZ was itself drawn from Studs Terkel’s excellent oral history of WW2, The Good War.


What I’m looking for are first hand accounts from all over the world of the week the monsters came back. It could be your personal account. You could take on the role of another. I’m going to write a bunch of them myself, and I’ll edit those that come in. Some, I'll edit heavily.
Now the deets and logistics.
I’m planning to release this as a free book, almost certainly self published. It’s an experiment. I won’t be getting paid. You won’t be getting paid. But there is of course a benefit to me.
It’s funny how that works out.
I’ll be using this book to gather email addresses for a newsletter I plan to start publishing in the second half of the year. Long story short, anyone can get this ebook for free. At the end of the book there’ll be a link to a sign up page for the newsletter. Anyone who signs up gets a second book for free. Probably Demons of Buttecracke County. Yes, I’m going there.
Buttecracke will also be a self published experiment (pending approval from the various publishing Death Stars) but it will be available in two ways. A couple of bucks to buy. Free for the price of an email address. I’ve been doing some research into newsletters and they’re a proven way to service a fan base with the added advantage of providing a channel under my control to augment publisher’s marketing efforts. That’s all very Inside Baseball, but it's important for me to put it out there up front. If you contribute a story to the oral history of the monster wars, I will ruthlessly exploit it to harvest those email addys. And all you’ll get in return is a thank you, and maybe a little pat on the butt next time we meet. If you have a firm and pleasing butt, I might even throw you a squeeze.
If anyone is up for it I’ll use the email from the last fanfic festival
miniburgerfanfic AT gmail dot com.
IN BRIEF:

1st person story. 250-2500 words
Eye witness accounts from the first days of the Monster Wars.
Pay day? Nope.
Attribution? Yep.
COPY DUE June 30

59 Responses to ‘An Oral History of the Monster Wars’

WA n'ker mutters...

Posted May 26, 2015
You bastard!I had that idea for the fanfic, "World War M"But I had a case of digitus in anusitis. Standby, readying for extraction.

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Therbs puts forth...

Posted May 26, 2015
Haven't completed my original three parter. Might use it to inform a different but tied in first person thing. The beauty of the eye witness pov is just because Dave doesn't know it happened is irrelevant given that he's so self absorbed. Plenty of room to play.

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insomniac asserts...

Posted May 26, 2015
I'll give it a go. I'll even try to be less dark than usual, although it seems like a pretty grim collection. I don't care about the non existent pay day. The involvement will be sufficient.

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tqft puts forth...

Posted May 26, 2015
Will try and work the idea I had last time into an eyewitness account.Hopefully won't get anywhere near the drama around here as last time and get to finish.

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she_jedi puts forth...

Posted May 26, 2015
Dammit, I'm still trying to finish my first bout of fanfic. Only discovered last week that writing part of it from Zach's point of view was a bust, and that it wouldn't work unless it was from Dave's point of view. He's SUCH a centre of attention whore. But yes, happy to give this a shot for a pat on the butt.

Murphy mutters...

Posted May 27, 2015
I know exactly how to handle Zach's POV.

she_jedi puts forth...

Posted May 27, 2015
Cool! Any tips? :)

Murphy has opinions thus...

Posted May 27, 2015
Get Dave out of the room.

she_jedi would have you know...

Posted May 27, 2015
HA! Not helping Murph :)

Murphy mumbles...

Posted May 28, 2015
No, it is really is that simple. Just get Dave out of the room.

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GhostSwirv puts forth...

Posted May 27, 2015

Sounds like a plan - oh and I promise, whatever spews forth will not be written using scriptwriting software ... So help me SkyLord.

Rhino has opinions thus...

Posted May 27, 2015
You could use scriptwriting software if you did a story as a "found footage" story. Someone's iPhone or camera found after the fact.
Genius, huh?
Kind of pissed (the Seppo use of the word) I am giving this idea away.

insomniac is gonna tell you...

Posted May 27, 2015
Your use of the word "pissed" is also acceptable here. Context is everything.

GhostSwirv ducks in to say...

Posted May 27, 2015
Hmmm, not bad ... I was thinking more the point that JB had to re-transcribe my last venture as the software clashed.

I'd like to be more compatible in the future.

Oh God - do I now have a Blood Debt to the Rhino?

Rhino would have you know...

Posted May 27, 2015
All who live owe this debt.
But Boylan gets 20%.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted May 27, 2015
Time permitting, I'm in.

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Rhino has opinions thus...

Posted May 27, 2015
Any other parameters like locations, etc?

John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted May 27, 2015
Nope

insomniac asserts...

Posted May 27, 2015
How about the level of sweary?

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted May 27, 2015
Nope.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted May 27, 2015
How about extremely graphic but pithy (in the style of Hemingway) descriptions of small children being eaten?

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted May 27, 2015
Knock yourself out.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan puts forth...

Posted May 27, 2015
Oh, heavens no. I was just testing your limits. You apparently have none. I very much approve.

insomniac ducks in to say...

Posted May 27, 2015
Just to be clear on the limits, or lack thereof, what if the narrator of the first hand account is eating the small children?

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GhostSwirv ducks in to say...

Posted May 27, 2015

I think that the Hipster Dufuss from Brunswick has found his way into the Melbourne Monster Altercation.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted May 27, 2015
When I read "Melbourne Monster Altercation" I flashed on a bunch of separatist anti-matter universe lesbians dressed as giant roaches chasing Hunn through St. Kilda into the ocean - and the Hunn are very frightened.

GhostSwirv reckons...

Posted May 27, 2015
I love your 'flash' ... of course for legal reasons they will be dark matter omniverse herbivores wearing Preying Mantis costumes leading Hunn on a Zumba-inspired dance through the Block Arcade.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted May 27, 2015
I am not concerned with legal concerns. I am far too busy wondering if the Decoy is still alive and, if so, whether or not he has sufficient Warrior Spirit to warrant a Dave-like transformation.

Anthony puts forth...

Posted May 28, 2015
Not St Kilda - the zombie lesbians would be chasing them through Northcote (or the Zuyder Zee as the inimitable Red Symons calls it )

GhostSwirv swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 28, 2015

I've just added Red Symons name to the List.

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Rob is gonna tell you...

Posted May 27, 2015

What a neat idea and I love 'a Good War'. Probably one of our favourite books in our house. World War Z being an excellent copy of the format.

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John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted May 27, 2015
I hadn't, but he confirms a lot of my own research.

T2 would have you know...

Posted May 27, 2015
One nice thing about not being a toady anymore is that I didn't even know these books were out yet. I read the Axis of Time trilogy because time travel interests me. Now I'll see if JB writes other stuff that I like? More to follow if...

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted May 27, 2015
Damn. I thought the toady ranks looked a little thin.

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Rhino is gonna tell you...

Posted May 27, 2015
OK, here is my first entry:
Police Interviews With Witnesses of the Kansas City Incursion.
"No shit Officer, I swear on my mother's grave it's true. That little swarthy guy over there, yeah him, he was swinging bottles and cackling like a demon. And then, that guy next to him wearing the Stetson, yeah, he was doing a 2-step on those little praying mantis things. No, no, I know how this must sound, but no, wait, that ain't all. See that professor looking guy over there? Yeah, he was chopping those things like a food processor on crack. I know, nuts, right? But the craziest craziest thing had to be that fat guy in the kilt smashing a freakin' monster with a potato masher. It was a nightmare and I didn't know who I was more afraid of, the old guys or the little monsters."

Murphy asserts...

Posted May 27, 2015
I think I was hiding under the bar with a double neat of Bulleit during this one. ;)

Rhino puts forth...

Posted May 27, 2015
Just wait until the wedding.

GhostSwirv mumbles...

Posted May 27, 2015

You had me at ... 'with a double neat of Bulleit'.

Murphy reckons...

Posted May 28, 2015
Skilz.

Rhino, what wedding? ;)

Rhino ducks in to say...

Posted May 28, 2015
Yours. Sheesh ... have we forgot about my follow-up to the bachelor party so quickly?

Bunyip ducks in to say...

Posted May 28, 2015
Three odd looking guys, one wearing a Stetson...Does the fat guy own a cat?

Murphy would have you know...

Posted May 28, 2015
Sorry, Rhino, musta been hungover or somethin'.

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Darth Greybeard asserts...

Posted May 27, 2015
Here I go again...

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sparty2 puts forth...

Posted May 28, 2015
can we get a "canon " time line- i.e. when Drakon first appear etc -when the various Dave battles happen..?

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted May 28, 2015
I'll knock one up.

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Rhino mutters...

Posted May 28, 2015
Just had the idea for a story where a small group of monsters raids a rave and not only get drunk on blood but get dosed up on high concentrations of ecstasy as well ... and then discuss their feelings. And dance.

Rob asserts...

Posted May 28, 2015

Like that episode of Futurama where Lurg from Omnicrom Persei i8 ate the hippy. and got a little high. and needed to take a break and have a sit down. 'must have been that hippy I ate' Dancing Hunn , how awesome.

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ShaneAlpha has opinions thus...

Posted May 28, 2015
Finished my story. Currently 2237 words but that may change because I want to do some polishing with this one. Hoping to land it in your email by the end of the weekend as I start a new job on Monday.

she_jedi ducks in to say...

Posted May 29, 2015
Well done Shane! Please stop making the rest of us look slack :)

ShaneAlpha reckons...

Posted May 31, 2015
Finished and winging it's way into JB's in box. Took half a dozen passes over it the last couple of days and think it's pretty tight. Came out at 2337 words after all the changes and revisions.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted June 1, 2015
Just got mine out the door.

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Brother PorkChop mumbles...

Posted June 24, 2015
Done. Took a leaf out of JBs book and ended it abruptly. Just to amuse my self as I had planned a longer gorier finale.

Brother PorkChop puts forth...

Posted July 6, 2015
JB, you sure there's no dosh in this? Bastards made me redundant again....In other news, the house is clean, the pizza oven is finally complete including a teppanyaki grill and I will do the long awaited bedroom decking this week. If only I had enough cash to retire!

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Surtac is gonna tell you...

Posted June 24, 2015

Sent mine off yesterday.


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Mr Lambada reckons...

Posted June 25, 2015
Pressd the button on mine this evening

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted June 26, 2015
Awesome

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Therbs is gonna tell you...

Posted June 29, 2015
Like uni, just scraped in before deadline.

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted June 29, 2015
Ha.

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Respond to 'An Oral History of the Monster Wars'

Burger Merch

Posted May 20, 2015 into House keeping by John Birmingham

And so it begins.

The Burger Shop.

I went with Redbubble on Wolfcat's recommendation. I can't vouch for them yet because I have no idea whether they're any good. But I've decided to dogfood my own merch by ordering a hoodie and a coffee mug.

I'll let you know if it's any good. I'm thinking about getting the art done again because it shows up as a solid block on any colour other than white. My inclination is to wait until I get my order before putting the Splodey Burger art up too, but if anyone is especially keen, let me know and I'll do it now.

82 Responses to ‘Burger Merch’

Rob swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 20, 2015
I bought a TISM teeshirt on redbubble. Its OK, but not a very trendy fittted teeshirt. So its kinda generic in that way. So its not like buying from a Rock Band Merch store, where they sell the nice slim fit teeshirts. My son has a redbubble store and the teeshirts we bought were OK when it was black/or colour on white material but the white on black can be a bit plasticky which is a bit naff if you live in the tropics and you end up a bit sticky underneath it.

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GhostSwirv is gonna tell you...

Posted May 20, 2015


I like the size of the coffe mug JB - still want some bright-burger though to design a Little Threshy clinging to a straw to drink my Antartica Java.

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HAVOCK21 puts forth...

Posted May 20, 2015
cool, but I want HAVOCK on MINE! as well fkn!

Blarkon would have you know...

Posted May 20, 2015
Where's the HAVOCK Merch?
FKN MUPPETS edition V12 Ute?CAP THE FKRS hats?HAVIN A FKN SHANDY hip flasks?Havock21 Branded Kate Beckinsale Real Doll?


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HAVOCK21 has opinions thus...

Posted May 20, 2015
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!is a studio fkn pouch? FFSAKES! or have they renamed the pussy fkn man bag thingmafknjig again

John Birmingham swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 20, 2015
But I designed that specially for your cake baking tools.

HAVOCK21 would have you know...

Posted May 20, 2015
ROFL...ya fkn muppet!

pi mutters...

Posted May 21, 2015
y'z r talkin like a coupla fkn wankrz.

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damian asserts...

Posted May 20, 2015
I bought the "I just want to fight tories - that's what I do" fighting Albo t-shirt from Redbubble a few years back. Quality is pretty good. I expect it to hang on credibly for a few years, even with tumble drying.
Some of these topical shirts don't last very well. I still have a screen printed "We interrupt this broadcast for a military coup" 4ZZZ t-shirt from 1989 (the paint was still wet when I bought that...), and sadly the fabric just hasn't lasted very well. I say "still have", but that means it's in a plastic box under the house somewhere. S'pose it's the sort of thing you could dig out and frame, if not totally shredded.

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HAVOCK21 reckons...

Posted May 20, 2015
im thinking it should be available in DPM as well!. Would be cool

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Barnesm would have you know...

Posted May 20, 2015
Your photo on the merch site looks like one of the War Boys from Mad Max: Fury Road.

Sudragon swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 20, 2015
It could be delibrerate....

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Barnesm mutters...

Posted May 20, 2015
Also I can't find the hoodie on the site just T shirts.

HAVOCK21 has opinions thus...

Posted May 20, 2015
you forgot!...hes FKN OLD. SHEEEIT I bought a puffer and hoodie all in one the other day!....H is ROCKING IT WITH THE TIMES!

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted May 20, 2015
Hoodies are filed under tee shirts

HAVOCK21 ducks in to say...

Posted May 20, 2015
LOL...well that figures!

Guru Bob mumbles...

Posted May 20, 2015
Unfortunately that site only has sizes up to 3XL which is fine for all of you short arsed but doesn't cut it for someone of my stature...

Rhino puts forth...

Posted May 21, 2015
Unisex tshirts?!?!? WTF. How about manly Rhino and GB tshirts!

Anthony has opinions thus...

Posted May 23, 2015

What's wrong with Unisex - I had lots of sex when I was at Uni...


Well, some anyway.

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Abe Frellman asserts...

Posted May 20, 2015
I think we've reached peak cheeseburger.
Remember when we used to talk about politics and economics and financial crises and how much smarter than everyone else Lobes is?

GhostSwirv has opinions thus...

Posted May 20, 2015

I think I saw that last comment on a tee-shirt once.

Lobes would have you know...

Posted May 20, 2015
Some of us are still having that conversation Abe, even if I have to yell it at the moon.

Blarkon asserts...

Posted May 21, 2015
Where's the shirt with 3 Lobes shouting at the moon?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted May 21, 2015
I have t T shirt with a smiling, happy, middle class family on the front, and on the back reads "I see it—coming here—hell-wind—titan blur—black wings—Yog-Sothoth save me—the three-lobed burning eye!!"

A T Shirt with 3 lobes, indeed.

Abe Frellman reckons...

Posted May 21, 2015
Three Lobes, the perfect foil to Brainthrust Leonard. I feel another Bedak play coming on.

Lobes would have you know...

Posted May 22, 2015
Threes a crowd guys

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted May 23, 2015
If there is another Bedak play, I want to play Mr. Bishara, the gruff, but lovable Syrian landlord.

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Lobes ducks in to say...

Posted May 20, 2015
Im on board with this but seriously keep your coffee mug, where are the stubbie coolers?

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted May 20, 2015
Where indeed.

ShaneAlpha reckons...

Posted May 22, 2015
But surely stubbie holders will hide the label of the refined artisanal brew that the average burger quaffs thus depriving the lesser plebs of the sight of their betters enjoying themselves.

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Guru Bob ducks in to say...

Posted May 20, 2015
Mmm stubbie coolers...

NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted May 22, 2015
My light green Tassie Babes (a nod to Man Clumsy) stubby cooler has a B rating. B rated Stubby coolers can leave home for a very short & frequently reviewed list of venues, also they can be lent to visitors at home, as compared to A rated.

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Murphy puts forth...

Posted May 21, 2015
I think our mascot naturally has to be a cigar chompin', machine gun totin', Rhino.

Rhino mumbles...

Posted May 22, 2015
I like the cut of your jib, Murph.

Murphy would have you know...

Posted May 22, 2015
Skilz.

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Murphy puts forth...

Posted May 21, 2015
Oh, beer mugs! We need beer mugs with Cheeseburger Gothic etched on them!

Bunyip swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 21, 2015
Whiskey glasses as well.

Brother PorkChop asserts...

Posted May 21, 2015
I can get them - nicely etched glasses

Surtac mutters...

Posted May 21, 2015

Yes - we need whiskey glasses.


Brother PorkChop swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 21, 2015
I am on it.

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she_jedi reckons...

Posted May 21, 2015
And shirts cut for the ladieeez. Even if it's just me and I'm being inconveniently demanding. Unisex cuts are fine if you're sans curves but seriously unflattering if you have boobage.

NBlob mutters...

Posted May 21, 2015
Huzzah for boobage.

ShaneAlpha ducks in to say...

Posted May 22, 2015
So, a ladies The Dave Tshirt with Dave printed at stomach level and looking up?

John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted May 22, 2015
Hahahahahaha

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Abe Frellman mumbles...

Posted May 21, 2015
On reflection (ie I've spotted an angle that helps me) maybe you could expand this concept to a Cheeseburger Gothic Bazaar...where all your old favourites could sell their wares under the Burger banner. While I don't think even my Spicy Spicy Merguez (TM) would survive being sent through the mail, there is plenty of Frellman's merch that would go ok here. And let's face it, there's a certain Vistaprint Sameness (TM pending) to the range at the moment... I think you'd really get the hearts racing with a few "Frellman's - the ONLY sausage worth hiding" t-shirts / lunchboxes / condoms, now wouldn't you?
So how's about it?
Symbiosis FTW!

John Birmingham mutters...

Posted May 21, 2015
My people will in contact. With your sausage.

GhostSwirv swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 21, 2015

JB, I seriously recommend you get 'your people - AKA ThePNB' to begin negotiations with LEGO to licence the designs of the Horde, including Sliveen, Drakens and of course the Scooby Gang, featuring TheDave.

The Hunn may need some extra loin cloths but I'm sure there's a market for this type of merch amongst the die-hard Burger fans.

Abe Frellman ducks in to say...

Posted May 21, 2015
frellmanATgmail.com

Anthony ducks in to say...

Posted May 23, 2015
If it features the Frellman sausage, shouldn't it be a Cheeseburger Bizarre?

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HAVOCK21 has opinions thus...

Posted May 21, 2015
BAR MAT!

Brother PorkChop has opinions thus...

Posted May 21, 2015
Body armour

Bunyip is gonna tell you...

Posted May 22, 2015
Body armour that can be used as a bar mat.

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Blarkon is gonna tell you...

Posted May 21, 2015
John Birmingham Action Figure with Gold Plated Hovercraft Playset. Bunnies and Apple Watch Accessories Sold Separately.

yankeedog swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 21, 2015
And Kung-Fu Grip...

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Quokka would have you know...

Posted May 21, 2015
http://www.aswegrowlearningtoys.com.au/WebRoot/ecshared01/Shops/asas3498/531E/8CD2/2A3B/A65B/381F/AC10/0040/8DA6/Possum_0020_hand_0020_puppet_0020_As_0020_We_0020_Grow_0020_learning_0020_Toys_0020_Adelaide_0020_Puppets.jpg
Where is the JB hand puppet to go with this?

Quokka is gonna tell you...

Posted May 21, 2015
Well that's sad. Why didn't the link to the possum hand pocket work? Don't tell me you've managed to possum proof your blog but not your ceiling.

insomniac would have you know...

Posted May 22, 2015
Possum hand pocket

Type your text first, then select, then click on LINK and add the url

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Chaz has opinions thus...

Posted May 21, 2015
I mean who wears white hoodies (except EDL yobs?)

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yankeedog asserts...

Posted May 21, 2015
Well, all right. Might have to put in for a T-shirt or a hoodie...or maybe get a little comp, you know, for being a long time Friend Of The Program...

Nah, congrats!

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Rhino swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 21, 2015
The beer mugs must be skulls.

Brother PorkChop has opinions thus...

Posted May 21, 2015
Drop Bear skulls

Blarkon has opinions thus...

Posted May 21, 2015
Possum skulls

NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted May 22, 2015
Hunn skulls. Who is to say if they are & morphologicly inaccurate.

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BigWillieStyle swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 21, 2015
You're quite blatantly leaning to the left in your Redbubble mug shot. I'd be expecting a call from Malcolm Turnbull soon.

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BigWillieStyle puts forth...

Posted May 21, 2015
A Ducati would make a good addition to the merch list.

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Peter Bradley is gonna tell you...

Posted May 21, 2015
Christmas.....sorted!

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HAVOCK21 puts forth...

Posted May 21, 2015
OI!..customisation!

Lt Colonel A H P B52 FKN DRIVER

BAck side.

I FKN FLATTENED New YORK!

Rhino mumbles...

Posted May 22, 2015
Havok, old man, we are old news. Sent to the island of characters past.
There I'll be no merch for the likes of us.

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NBlob ducks in to say...

Posted May 22, 2015
OT but very burger-relevant. http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-05-22/australia-next-submarine-fleet-obsolete-due-to-drone-warfare/6488618

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NBlob is gonna tell you...

Posted May 23, 2015
Casino beef week? What fresh madness is this. Beef week is BeefweekNo impersonation, replication nor substitution of such an institution will be Tolerated.This affront shall not stand.I impeach thee, summon the 1000. Ready the War Elephant. This agri-whore, stained with the use by tractor salesmen and tordon reps, dare pull her rags about her and mimic, nay ape the most sacred, the most pure and good Beefweek.

w from brisbane asserts...

Posted May 23, 2015
Nice try, NBlob. But your beef week only goes for 6 days, my beef week goes for a full week and a half. Oh yeah, baby....I think that's a slam dunk!

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 24, 2015
I know of Clams Casino. I know of Oysters Casino. I even know of a mixed cocktail called a Casino. But I've never heard of Beef Casino. Apparently there is such a thing, and your convivial rivalry over who's Casino Beef tastes the best is a strong indicator that it is delicious and prized. But regardless of how good it tastes, why eat it for an entire week? Is this sort of a reverse-Lent kind of thing that is a hallmark of your Godless society, where, instead of abstaining, you overindulge for a week?

In the end I really don't care about any of that. But I would like to know where I can get some.

NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted May 24, 2015
No beef for you. 2 weeks.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted May 25, 2015
Fuck you. You aren't the boss of me. You can't tell me what to do. I eat what I want.

In all honesty, I don't eat a lot of beef. Cattle ranching results in deforestation and leaves an enormous carbon footprint upon the earth. And beef is seriously unhealthy.

But because you told me I can't eat beef, I'm gonna eat all I can! And then some! And then I'm gonna eat some more! THAT its the American Way. And I'm gonna hold my assault rifle - with the safety switched off - and wear my "God Makes Weather to Reward the Righteous and Punish the Wicked" T-shirt and smoking a cigarette and drinking a really, really big plastic bucket full of brand name cola while I'm gorging on all that non organic, mega-farm produced beef. THAT is what liberty is all about.

And, damn it, I'm gonna find a recipe for Casino Beef. If I can find a reasonably appealing recipe for Fruit Bat Soup (cumin is key) then how on earth can the recipe for Casino Beef be so hard to find?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted May 25, 2015
My wife just informed me that "Casino Beef Week" is an annual festival held in Casino (a small town southwest of Mullumbimby) celebrating the cattle industry - an annual celebration similar to the Monterey Squid Festival and the Gilroy Garlic Festival here in California. So there is no recipe for Casino Beef, which explains why I cannot locate one.

I feel such the fool. And no amount of convenient jingoism provides a remedy, even if illusory.

Fucking Australians.

insomniac has opinions thus...

Posted May 25, 2015
I was in Tamworth over the weekend. Home to beef farmers and country music and the Big Golden Guitar. It's so big and so golden that we drove straight past it without noticing it, in the middle of the day, with blazing sunshine. It was a disappointment to say the least. I was also disappointed in the townsfolk, who in prime cowboy country, failed to be getting around in the appropriate clothing. I won't be going there again any time soon.

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Anthony asserts...

Posted May 23, 2015

The Cheeseburger series of automatic weapons?

Perhaps a series of axes? (The axes of evil?)

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Bangar puts forth...

Posted May 25, 2015
A range of Burger knives perhaps?

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Rhino would have you know...

Posted May 26, 2015
Dolls. Errrr, I meant collectible action figures.

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Respond to 'Burger Merch'

Twitter is exhausting

Posted November 4, 2014 into House keeping by John Birmingham

Eron Gjoni, the guy whose post about his ex-girlfriend helped fan the GamerGate firestorm contacted me on twitter last night. Asking for my email so we could discuss the flaws and inaccuracies in my column on Saturday, and my inevitable retractions.

Anyone who's hung around here long enough knows I have no problems correcting my own errors and apologizing for them. I don't have plans to make any corrections to the GamerGate piece, although I might publish a par this weekend with Eron's denial's, rebuttals, whatevs.

I @replied to him, even though I routinely ignore most GamerGate approaches at Twitter because mostly they're (1) empty abuse, and (2) utterly pointless.

I was fascinated to talk to him because he's such a pivotal figure in this latest flare up and I'd read he had some regrets about the consequences of his original post, if not the post itself. I won't insult him by psychoanalysing him here. That wasn't the purpose of this post.

I instead wanted to reflect briefly on an incident that played out (and god help me is still playing out) in my timeline during the exchange with Gjoni. Early on in the exchange, when he was still pretty fired up but showing some signs of being able to talk reasonably, another user jumped in and gave him a serve. I quickly replied asking her to dial it down, although looking at my tweet now I can see I just said "Dial it down, Ann", which looks like an order. Very poor choice of phrasing, JB.

Well, you can imagine what I woke up to this morning.

That's why this piece in The Atlantic resonated with me. Robinson Meyer nails it. Not Gamergate, but the exhaustion of Gamergate. The exhaustion of all online echanges these days. Gamergate, writes Meyer, "is an enervating army that makes itself known as soon as the “#Gamergate” hashtag is tweeted. It’s an attentional brushfire that, even when it’s not being discussed, could flare up at any time. It’s a source of exhaustion even before it has done anything to exhaust."

He goes on to explain why this is an existential crisis for Twitter, but to me it looks like a... well, maybe not anything as immediate as a crisis, but it looks like a deep rooted systemic flaw in the very structure of online communications. Flame war seems to be the default setting now, although maybe it always was. I remember talking Murph out of his ennervating battles with online foes at various sci-fi forums, and we've all learned to skim over the worst, if not most, of the comments at places like Blunty, assuming anyone but the trolls reads them these days.

Meyer asks:

Is living such a public life worth the trouble? Is such a life worth being constantly exposed to vitriol and rage and threats from strangers—especially when the patterns of that abuse seem so random? Is the kind of work that would be required to sustain a “good” public, online social network possible? Is asking people to perform that moderating work something we even want to do?

No it's not. Not really. But I've decided that everyone who has the ability to nuke trolls out of the comments here will be holding onto it for a while yet. Probably forever and I'll probably be extending the power to even more of you.

56 Responses to ‘Twitter is exhausting’

beeso swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 4, 2014
Planet parenthood being what it is for me these days I am usually pretty tired by day's end. I usually wind down checking the social media for twenty or so. I've been struggling to get to sleep easily so this week I am trying 15 min of yoga instead of the screen time. Had an awesome nights sleep straight away (230 am sick kid wake up aside)

I also find the gamer gate stuff abhorrent and also a lot of stupid stuff being said on the good guys (girls?) side as well. Be nice if people weren't dicks but seems that's a pipe dream.

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Halwes would have you know...

Posted November 4, 2014
Interesting stuff although something I will never experience first hand. Do any of these people realise that most people in the world are poverty stricken? Have many of them even travelled? What kind of person even has the time in their lives to engage in this sort of crap? Certainly not many manual workers that I know. So what are the twitterers saying is going to win the cup today? My tip each way is Mutual Regard with a saver on Protectionist. Lets say Mutual Regard, Lucia Valentina, Protectionist and the jap thing ( what about the war?) Admire Rakti for a first four. Anyone else?

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Chaz puts forth...

Posted November 4, 2014
Sign Off and Fawkner

Miss Maudy swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 4, 2014
$2 each way on Signoff because - well finally signed off on a tender after three months of epic toil. Seemed like an omen.

Halwes mutters...

Posted November 4, 2014

I officially love you two. I very reluctantly put signoff into my first 4 on your say so and cracked it for a $10k payday. I think I might be starting to get the hang of this social media stuff!

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Fedup Peanut would have you know...

Posted November 4, 2014
I do not envy your twitter timeline at all (so many fkn muppets), and noticed that the SMH moderator's head must have exploded within the first couple of hours of publishing: 47 comments made it through.

Been on twitter since ought-6 (spit), and I ain't never had to block a fool. But as soon as this here shytefest kicked into high gear, I've been blocking and muting like a berserker.

A similar puzzle is plaguing politics: How can you have any kind of meaningful engagement with an opponent who doesn't compromise? Negotiation becomes impossible when there's no give and take, no willingness or capability to change.


John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted November 4, 2014
Peanut, it's just durn foolishness is all.

Fedup Peanut mumbles...

Posted November 4, 2014
Ah-yep. (spit)

I cannot begin to fathom just how horrifying and awful online life must be for the women who become targets. It's just unimaginable.

And it's not just for days or weeks or even months - some of them have been dealing with a hatenado for years.

That that sort of toxic atmosphere is considered a normal level of "background" hate boggles me.

For Bob's sake, "gamers" have been trying for decades to convince people we're as sane, safe and balanced as any other random meatsack, and here we are in 2014 and it's almost bloody possible to say that "We're all Gamers now", games are being regarded as 'legitimate' art, demographics have changed for the better and then there's this explosion of reactionary arsehattery, and 30+ years of "hey, we're just as normal and mature as you, let's play" gets flushed down the shitter.


Barnesm reckons...

Posted November 4, 2014
"hatenado" please don't give SyFy ideas.

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Spanner has opinions thus...

Posted November 4, 2014
There was a good article on *shudders Gamergate and the polarisation of people based on their political ideology. Can't find the link but the basic premise was that it's now just another front on the progressive V conservative culture war.

Halwes asserts...

Posted November 4, 2014

I get this but, coming from a rugby league / trade union / activist background, I learnt pretty early that, if you don't hate them, you can't beat them. You can be pretty sure that they hate you and so, once you realise that, it's much easier to hate them back. I still don't understand how twittering can ever change anything. Only up front, confrontational, blood on the floor, here I am, try and hit me tactics have ever worked for me. At least, if you get beat, you know in your heart that you had a fair dinkum go. Unlike firing off a pissweak tweet.

bhutos has opinions thus...

Posted November 15, 2014
I'm pretty sure it's this one: <font color="#292f33" face="Arial, sans-serif" size="5">http://techcrunch.com/2014/09/25/gamergate-an-issue-with-2-sides/</font>
<font color="#292f33" face="Arial, sans-serif" size="5">Which I found was very illuminating. We don't often hear that both sides are sending death threats and doxxing. I'm a green voting lefty dictionary feminist but in this issue it really does look like assholes on both sides ruining things for everyone, including the two original sparks both being assholes in their own ways starting the whole thing off. I was also disappointed with JB's SMH column given his research ability - I mean reading Leviathan I was constantly in awe of the depth of subject knowledge (even Axis of Time re: military hardware and so on) - and he was right that it's not just about journalism but it just seemed needlessly pejorative and non contextual. </font>
<font color="#292f33" face="Arial, sans-serif" size="5">Given how even trying to not scare away/embitter/taint a pivotal source on his twitter feed is immediately twisted into JB protecting Eron "like 4chan" and his failings as a feminist you'd think there would be sympathy with vast swathes of people on both sides having their positions and statements looked at in the least charitable light possible and guilt by association. I guess. Not that i can say I'm any more unbiased or correct on the matter than anyone else. *shrugs*.</font>

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HAVOCK21 ducks in to say...

Posted November 4, 2014
WTF. I'm fkn progressive in my fkn CONSERVATIVE fkn values.

FROM ORBIT JB and ya gettem fkn all.

As for negotiation, best done from the barrel of the bigger fkn gun!. FK coming second! I say!.

Keep me in me zen fkn space. NOW. I'm finally off ta see fkn FURY at 1.20pm. GUNNA FKN GET SOME BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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pi asserts...

Posted November 4, 2014
I have no idea what gamergate actually is. Looks like I'm missing out.

HAVOCK21 swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 4, 2014
not the be all, but interesting. Try here.

http://www.vox.com/2014/9/6/6111065/gamergate-explained-everybody-fighting

pi asserts...

Posted November 8, 2014
oh lordy...

So much drama.

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Therbs mumbles...

Posted November 4, 2014
I too have avoided the clusterfuck that is gamergate. I just assumed it was a bunch of teen and preteen boys playing with their dicks and whining about girl germs. I'm still to be proven wrong.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted November 4, 2014
I again feel alienated from these discussions. I don't know what gamergate is. I now question the relevance of my personal reality.

Murphy has opinions thus...

Posted November 4, 2014
Paul, most of us don't know.

I know I don't know.

Darth Greybeard reckons...

Posted November 4, 2014
Very true. I too have no idea if Paul's personal reality is relevant.

Barnesm would have you know...

Posted November 4, 2014
I liked the coverage on Colbert Report on gamergate, amusing and put those in the gamergate camp in a tis.

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Murphy mumbles...

Posted November 4, 2014
I figured out that if I was constantly at war with people who I thought were a problem then I wasn't getting any writing done. When I look back on reasons why I haven't sold anything else since 2008, surely part of it has to be the sheer energy that was poured into hammering away at people I disagreed with. I suspect that was masking for other problems in my life that had nothing to do with writing or science fiction, not that it matters what the cause was.

So I generally do not waste effort on it these days. There are other things to do and if someone really gets to be a pain, I just edit them out of my newsfeeds.

Which is a lot easier than hammering away at them.

Respects,
Murph
On the Outer Marches

bhutos asserts...

Posted November 15, 2014
So. Much. This.
Imagine being the sort of idiot who stumbles onto a chain of links and finds himself commenting on a stale thread over a week old because he's at work on a Saturday and should be getting ahead creating and bringing new things into the world instead of consuming pointless drama ;)

Darth Greybeard has opinions thus...

Posted November 15, 2014
Wow. That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. Good thing we all do it.

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Murphy puts forth...

Posted November 4, 2014
On a practical note, why is it wrong to tell Ann to knock it off on your newsfeed? If you are trying to talk to the guy and she is piling on then as far as I'm concerned you be well within your right to say, "Hey, can you take it down a notch so I can see what is up with this guy?"

Twitter newsfeeds, like their facebook counterparts, and blogs before them, are our respective living rooms in our online apartment, or a parlor where guests should behave accordingly. If I got a couple of people getting out of line on my fb then I have no qualms about asking them to take it down a notch. If that doesn't work then I tell them to knock it off. Failure to do that? Well, there is the unfriend and block button.

I'm just not going to waste any time on such nonsense anymore.

Respects,
Murph
On the Outer Marches

Fedup Peanut is gonna tell you...

Posted November 4, 2014
My tuppence: Not "wrong" per se, and I can see where the problem may have been the way it was said; a world of difference between asking someone to chill out and telling/ordering (whatever term you want to use for the imperative) someone to chill out.

Especially with a figure like Gjoni involved in the conversation, given the charged atmosphere. People are going to be angry, so appearing to dismiss their anger by 'ordering' someone to chill is probably just going to piss them off more.

Even if that wasn't the intent. Bloody people and their messy thinky head-meats, and stupid imprecise mouth-meat noises.

Abe Frellman mumbles...

Posted November 4, 2014
I thought she was out of line butting in to your conversation, but agree that it is the *telling* her to do something that has seemingly fired her up. That said, her blog entry accuses you of defending or protecting Gjoni (I read it at lunchtime and can't be arsed re-reading it to check which one) which I thought came across as confected outrage on her part.

But I doubt that the link to the Atlantic article will cause her to see your side JB.... In my experience once people resort to confecting outrage they are pretty difficult to turn round. I suspect you may not give a hoot, and other than being misconstrued, which can't be fun for a decent man who makes a living from writing, tbh I don't think you should.

damian asserts...

Posted November 4, 2014
Yeah what Birmo said - it wasn't the intent, it was the execution. Agree it may have been a poor choice of words and may have had the opposite intended effect, and escalated rather than de-escalated. Can't say I haven't been there and worse myself. Usually you expect people who are "on your side" to take that stuff as it's meant rather than as it comes across. But it almost never works that way :/

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Darth Greybeard would have you know...

Posted November 4, 2014
Yeah but seriously, social media can be exhausting. Mutual interests mean that I mostly interact with sick, twisted, sarcastic, decent, compassionate, moderately intelligent people who put science before profit or superstition. That's fun and all, but you don't exactly hear every side of the story. So you look around outside your little circle and get swamped by a mass of uglies. I know that assumes I'm right and they're wrong so I'll give one (1) example. When Brittany Maynard died peacefully, rather than waiting for her painful cancer to do it, comments included "I hope it was really painful" "She's Dammed (sic) to hell for going against the word of G*D." And so on and on and on.

When I read that stuff, and I know I shouldn't, it does indeed exhaust me. I have little faith in the survival of humanity or our civilisation. And more and more I doubt that either deserves to.

damian is gonna tell you...

Posted November 4, 2014
I like to think I've lost patience and don't like to suffer fools and all that. But then I realise how deeply foolish I am myself and that I think it's vitally important to continue to act the fool on occasion, sometimes more frequently. Then you think of the holy fools, the fools who rush in where angels fear to tread and how the brightest people you know will gibber helplessly while lesser thinkers who are aggressive with their opinions drive their limited understanding with a confidence that prevails and they seem to own our world.

But there's a lot of stuff I really have no patience for. I've been talking about that a bit lately. Not claiming to be consistent here, though I would go further and insist that consistency isn't compatible with experience.

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Rob has opinions thus...

Posted November 4, 2014
I was surprised to see on my YouTube channel that people go nuts at each other in the comments section. I was really surprised it happened on a Butthole Surfers video. Most people just thank me for posting. Others though spend their days and nights discrediting each others drug experiences.
'My acid fueled nightmare was greater and more real than yours man.'

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damian has opinions thus...

Posted November 4, 2014
Gah, I made the mistake of reading the comments on that Atlantic article. Those guys really like to prove the point they're trying to contradict, don't they?

Barnesm puts forth...

Posted November 4, 2014
it is a truism that any comments in a discussion involving what many interpret as feminist issues proves the need for feminism.

Lulu asserts...

Posted November 5, 2014
x 1000, barnesm.

pi reckons...

Posted November 8, 2014
Shamelessly stealing that.

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Nocturnalist ducks in to say...

Posted November 4, 2014
"Sea-lioning" is the hip new verb for this stuff.

http://wondermark.com/1k62/

(One small silver lining to the whole shitblizzard is that it's given us some awesome webcomics.)

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Blarkon reckons...

Posted November 5, 2014
Because rage fires up the endorphins. Twitter is perhaps the most effective form of media we've developed for firing up rage. It beats talk radio by a mile.

The other thing that social media does (and twitter does wonderfully) is that it tends to polarize opinion quickly. There's a heap of research showing that if you hang around people who share a general philosophical bent, you all end up more extreme in your beliefs than if you were hanging around people with a multitude of views.

There's even been some evidence that some quite clever trolls have used this to push groups into more extreme positions - by confecting identities that promote a more extreme view than the group currently holds - and then watching the group reorient itself to a more extreme position. Often the most influential in a group are those that are seen as "most doctrinaire" - so introducing someone more extremely doctrinaire to a group, especially given the fluid dynamics of social media groups, means a new scramble for existing members to retain influence by becoming even more doctrinal than they may have been originally.

As someone suggested - Social Media is the ultimate Milgram Experiment.

w from brisbane would have you know...

Posted November 5, 2014
There was also a study that showed that people who strongly hold a particular view of a policy issue, when confronted with facts that clearly disprove that view, move fairly automatically to a more extreme support of their original opinion.

Shows the futility and counter-productiveness of getting in some online argument and googling up various 'facts' and thinking you will win and make them agree with you. Even if you 'win' the facts war, they will actually end up being more opposed to your view than before the argument started.

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Don swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 5, 2014
For all the wide-eyed wonderment of the 90s and the hopes that the internet was going to be a new-world of connections between people, knowledge and events, there's a chunk of people who take a look at this great alien world, take a deep breath of exotic air and start unbuckling their pants immediately.

"I'm gonna be the first person to ever take a shit in this pristine stream."
"Nobody else has had sex with ona them lizard-sheep thingies before."
"Yeehaw! I'm a pioneer!"
Some of us were just trying to enjoy the view when it got shit and dicks on it.

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Dokter reckons...

Posted November 5, 2014
What I've learnt from being online since 1997 is that it's best to move on. Majority of people, online especially, that disagree with someone has no interest in changing their mind. All they want to do is to shout louder and louder until you give in and say they are right and you are wrong.

This comic from XKCD sums it up perfectly why online battles gets so out of hand and lasts for ad infinitum.

https://xkcd.com/386/

Also, if you decide to engage with trolls or whatever, keep this in mind too:

He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.
— Nietzsche

Too often I've witnessed people that I thought were rather reasonable turn into the worst monster (troll). Which is why it's also wise to follow the very simple rule, don't feed the trolls.

So in reality, you'll never take down a troll. You'll just end up becoming one yourself.

John Birmingham ducks in to say...

Posted November 5, 2014
Wow! That was an xkcd joke? I had no idea.

Blarkon asserts...

Posted November 5, 2014
There's also the joke about wrestling pigs in mud being similar to arguing with engineers that's appropriate - which is that after a few hours you come to the realization that the pig is loving it.

Nocturnalist would have you know...

Posted November 6, 2014
My favourite is the one about playing chess against a pigeon.

pi puts forth...

Posted November 8, 2014
I know you have to be a math-head to laugh, but I found this xkcd image looking at that.

https://xkcd.com/730/

Cracked me up.

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Barnesm puts forth...

Posted November 6, 2014
"Which is why it's also wise to follow the very simple rule, don't feed the trolls" which is cogent advice and I myself have followed it, but imagine if these early forays by women and minorities into gaming they had responded by not responding, or by those who were aprt of the community and didn't think it was appropriate to verbally abuse or threaten them just because they expressed a different view, or were simply not the 'traditional' gamer then we would be seeing now these, hopefully, last gasps of an exclusive previliged few whose response to change is to threaten, bully, abuse and scorn until everythign goes back to how it was when they first started playing.

Shifty Tourist would have you know...

Posted November 6, 2014

I tend to agree ultimately that there is not point arguing (or feeding) the trolls, in the sense that the trolls can't be reasoned with.

But by the same token, can we allow vile crap to be asserted without confrontation. Anger and hate are infectious.... It draws people in, fires their adrenal glands, and gives them common cause.

Reason, reflection, respect.... are not quite as sexy.

Anger and hate in a vacuum will only grow unless confronted, the flaws of their red mist logic illuminated, their straw men fed to the livestock, their sacred cows slaughtered in a humane way, their axes left un-grinded, the wheels of their barrows wheel locked, their.... ok i'll stop this now.

You can never beat the trolls, but you can (I hope) stop their voices being the only one that can be heard and therefore controlling the message.

Barnesm mutters...

Posted November 6, 2014

Indeed, well put ST.

Halwes ducks in to say...

Posted November 6, 2014
Great point however I think that the way that we confront this vile crap is very important. I don't think that wasting energy confronting them on twitter is energy efficient. As well as that is the feeling that people seem to get when they fire back a clever tweet or comment. I think it's something like "there. that showed them". But it didn't do anything. That is the dangerous thing about all this. People think they are making a difference when they've done no such thing. The tweet disappears into the ether and nothing changes. They've expended the energy and nothing changes. If you want to make a difference then it has to be by face to face human contact, confrontation and eventual compromise and to be prepared to bleed.

Barnesm asserts...

Posted November 6, 2014

"People think they are making a difference when they've done no such thing"

It can be sometimes hard to know what if any difference and action makes. Even if the only action you take is to refute or reply at least that is a bit more than complicit silence.

I do agree that is a very low bar and I would wish to see more effort made, but I figure there was no guarantee that if I said to that person that they should do more, or if all I did at the time was tweet "Don't be a dick" to some egreious troll there is no assurance I would go on to do more.

Though I certainly think I should.

Lulu mumbles...

Posted November 6, 2014
There's a certain value in "confronting the vile crap" or even just saying "don't be a dick". It's unlikely to change the troll, but it might make a difference to their targets, or the bystanders. If someone is the target of whatever bigotry the trolls spew, they'll feel a little less alone knowing that not everyone agrees with the bigots.

Dick ducks in to say...

Posted November 6, 2014
I take offense to this constant reference to me in a derogatory way.

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Shifty Tourist has opinions thus...

Posted November 6, 2014

Yeah, I think you're right Halwes.

Has an argument on twitter, or the SMH/brisbanetimes comments section every changed anybody's mind... I doubt it.... and this is a great shame. The possibilities the internet offered to engage in rousing debate is been lost in tsunami douchebaggery. These forums are not about persuasion, but point scoring.... either by recieving the acknowledgement of the converted, or by earning the rage of the opposition.

But still, I'm hesitant to say these forums should just be abandoned to the trolls (that is if they haven't allready annexed it). These are the primary communication tools of our day and where (as JB mentioned in his Blunty on this) the easily influenced get their views on these issues. Although, its probably vain to think a well meaning person can make make any difference to that anyway.

So, yeah, what do you do. My preference midway through this shitstorm was just burning the internet to the ground and starting again from scratch.... an instinct I've had many times after reading comments following any acticle discussing political issues.

Still can't stop myself from reading though.... I'm probably not immume from enjoying a bit of an anger induced adrenaline hit.

Ramble over.

Shifty Tourist would have you know...

Posted November 6, 2014
Oops, meant to be a response to the above.... failed at the internet today.

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Quokka would have you know...

Posted November 6, 2014
Another pig quote applies here, Mark Twain's 'Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time & it annoys the pig.'

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TheWah would have you know...

Posted November 8, 2014
I've noticed that if you dare to comment on something that is slightly emotionally charged then someone will mentally spin your initial comment into the worst, over the top version, of what you originally said and argue you based on that idea.

For example - "I prefer dogs to cats"
"WHY DO YOU HATE CATS?!?!?!?"

This is a silly version of something that happens on a regular basis.
A lot of the time I think that people are responding to the pain they feel from having their cognitive dissonance unwittingly flicked by the original comment. You write what you believe is an interesting assumption or observation and someone else takes umbrage, goes to defcon1 and nukes you before their emotional side can be overridden by their intellectual side. Nobody takes the time to think, "surely this other human being doesn't think this terrible thing. I'd better ask them to clarify". Nope.. it's straight to "SOMEONE IS INTENTIONALLY QUESTIONING MY ENTIRE REALITY IN 140 CHARACTERS.. KILL KILL KILL!"

As JB said - It's exhausting...

Darth Greybeard reckons...

Posted November 15, 2014
Yup x eleventy

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Some Burger updates

Posted November 3, 2014 into House keeping by John Birmingham

A few minor tweaks to the old clubhouse coming up. I'll be talking to Dan later today about setting up a dedicated site to sell my books. It won't be my bookstore. Instead it'll send you off to your preferred and geographically appropriate online retailer.

I'll provide links to all the major sites, including Amazon. But for Australian online sales I'll be preferencing Booktopia.com.au. They have a very generous deal where they top up my royalty by 7.5%. My actual preference is that people get off their arses and walk down to their local independent bookshop, but that's not always possible. So I'd much prefer an Australian online bookshop get the sale rather than Amazon. Hence Booktopia. I'll investigate what deals the other chains are offering. But they'll need to match or beat that very generous top up.

Here at the Burger, the current banner ads will soon swap out for book related banners, I think Audible and A&R are among the first, but they wont become any more prominent than they are now. Dan's Civicnet banner will stay.

I want the bookshop site to be quite simple, but if anyone has particular things they'd like to see there, now is the time to lobby for them.

I've always meant to build a dedicated book site but I wanted to shake out the changes here first. When I had Dan renovate the Burger it was with a view to running it as a full time blog that could replace some of my media income. I built the traffic up to a point where I could have done just that, but it was a full time job. And I already have a full time job, writing books. I'd prefer to concentrate on that and make any online efforts supportive of the books, rather than competetive with my media work.

It won't mean radical changes here. I'll be increasing the frequency of posts as we draw close to launch day for Emergence and channeling more traffic in from Twitter. But that's about it.

15 Responses to ‘Some Burger updates’

Murphy mumbles...

Posted November 3, 2014
Will Americans be able to order Australian copies and have them shipped without paying half the airfare one would normally pay if they were to visit Oz?

I quite treasure the Australian copies that I have in my possession.

Respects,
Murph
On the Outer Marches

John Birmingham swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 3, 2014
I doubt it, Murph. Freight costs are always gonna be nasty.

Therbs asserts...

Posted November 3, 2014
*psst* I may know how to do this on the very cheap

Murphy asserts...

Posted November 3, 2014
:D

Therbs ducks in to say...

Posted November 3, 2014
Remind me when they come out and we'll get it done.

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Halwes reckons...

Posted November 3, 2014

Great idea. There are no bookshops within cooee of here. I just used bibliograph australia to get a first edition Leviathan for $69 including freight. I haven't got it yet but it looks like it's in great condition. Really looking forward to rereading it.

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Rob reckons...

Posted November 3, 2014
I buy my JBs from big W or Kmart. how well do they pay you? I was in dymocks today and saw a book I wanted but it was $45 , so I bought it from Book Depo for $30 as I walked down the street on my phone. Is this a bad thing? Does one big corporation deserve my sympathy over another?

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted November 3, 2014
Rob, you buy it at the best price you can. A sale is a sale to me.

Rob asserts...

Posted November 3, 2014
I still owe you a round for the 1penny UK Amazon buys of Leviathan and Falafel. That's about $7.50 down here.

damian has opinions thus...

Posted November 3, 2014
I was in Townsville airport and Peter F. Hamilton's Great North Road was in the bookshop there. Huge friggin' thing, I was afraid to buy it because of what it meant carrying it onto the plane. So I bought the Amazon Kindle version on my phone while walking to the gate. Read a decent amount of it on the flight too.

ShaneAlpha ducks in to say...

Posted November 4, 2014
Sad to say but I have seen Angels of Vengeance on the shelves of the everything $3.00 bookshop recently.

Bangar swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 4, 2014
I still have copies of AoT 2 and 3 that I got ridiculously cheap I believe Sibeen would like a sample.

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BigWillieStyle is gonna tell you...

Posted November 3, 2014
When I saw "Some Burger updates", I thought you must have discovered a cafe in Aspley or somewhere that sells Quintuple-Bacon Lard Deep Fried Hamburgers or something. I guess not.

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Darth Greybeard ducks in to say...

Posted November 3, 2014
Speaking of updates, I have just returned from Twitterville where I found to my utter horror and dismay that JB finally has a blue tick. What can we taunt him about now? The Man Booker? Nah, just not the same. I am sad.

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damian reckons...

Posted November 3, 2014
I spent over $200 in Avid last weekend, so not feeling that guilty about all the ebooks just now. It was mostly gifts, but a couple for home.

Seems I'm at the stage where I buy print books for other people as gifts far more often than I would for myself, though I might buy 2-3 ebooks a week at the high-water mark.

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Privacy Policy

Posted February 17, 2014 into House keeping by John Birmingham

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