Cheeseburger Gothic

Big strong muscly choices

Posted April 17, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Wasn't sure if this metaphor would hold up for 500 words. But it did. Cos I got metaphor muscles.

Wasn't sure I could even get 500 words out of the state gubbermint's stupid Strong Choices website. Until I realised just how stupid it was.

At Blunty.

18 Responses to ‘Big strong muscly choices’

pi has opinions thus...

Posted April 17, 2014

awesome pic

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted April 17, 2014

The pic is great, but - once again - I ran to the Instrument just to realize I had no idea what is going on.

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Therbs is gonna tell you...

Posted April 17, 2014

Neither do I Paul, neither do I. I think its a Queensland thing.

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pi is gonna tell you...

Posted April 17, 2014

think 'florida'

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w from brisbane is gonna tell you...

Posted April 17, 2014

To explain, it's a fairly standard scenario. Our right wing state government has manufactured a bogus financial crisis. Needless to say, they reckon the 'rational' solution to the fake crisis would be the transfer of wealth from the people to the plutocracy. In this case, an asset sell-off.

Yes, the financial situation is so critical they are embarking on a massive multi-million dollar marketing blitz the like of which the battered local citizenry has not previously seen. Using every conventional and black art technique of PR trickery, this is proceeding under the wartime banner of Strong Choices.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 17, 2014

Thanks for the 'splanation, W.

It comforts me not at all that you lot are letting this happen in much the same way and for the same reasons we let it happen here.

pi puts forth...

Posted April 17, 2014

We learn from the masters.

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JG is gonna tell you...

Posted April 17, 2014

Very clever. I love your ingenious writing style/s, JB. Once again, you make me laugh.

So the banana Prem and poincy Prem are together in bed, threshing out the black hole debt on roids, mouths foaming in anticipation at further cuts. Whip that cash good, fellas. Can't wait for the bedding down of the diehard state and federal budgets.

Oh yeah.

Joanna

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Dino not to be confused with mutters...

Posted April 17, 2014

CSIRO told me part of my problem is Mercury, in the physical life support system.

Am formulating treatment.

And

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Halwes mumbles...

Posted April 17, 2014

I'm not sure that I would screw around with these people. I have bad, fairly recent memories of the politicisation of the police force which seems to be at plague proportions at this time right across our country. All it takes now is for some idiot to yell " law and order" and a shitload of crap seems to descend from the heavens and fall directly on the heads of the underdogs. You remember how it was. The proof will be when the premiers' moneygrubbing mates, and there are plenty of them, form a private consortium and legally steal public assets. Who needs to keep on winning elections when your mates are rich and grateful but by then we'll have been well and truly scalped.

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Dino not to be confused with mutters...

Posted April 17, 2014

I unserstand you have a wife and kids now JB.

"Free Speech" was a wank from your youth.

Dino not to be confused with asserts...

Posted April 17, 2014

You better keep me fkn Alive

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted April 17, 2014

Part of free speech is not drowning out other voices Dino. And that's what you're doing, which is why I've been culling your comments.

Dino not to be confused with swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 17, 2014

Fairnuff,

Gave Joanna a 'ahrd time'. No one one else.

I will drown out no one any more.

Dino not to be confused with puts forth...

Posted April 17, 2014

And PAuls Adviice to DIVerSify?

Too Late.

My suggestion is you stay right where you are.

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Dino not to be confused with has opinions thus...

Posted April 17, 2014

well the coppers and the Law are gonna come to my place.

First Draught- On the front wall-

Steve next door is a Fuckwit

Warwick next door to him is a liar who spends time with 'childcare' on a Tuesday.

Fellatio not Horatio my anus.

Ben acroos the road uses dogs to pleasure the bitch from Israel who says she's from Brazil.

Any Questions?

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Jarrod puts forth...

Posted April 18, 2014

JB, I had a go last night after a few beers and solved the State's budget pretty easily. What I did was make the big mines pay some tax then fucked over all the pensioners by getting rid of all thier benefits. After all those baby boomers are fucking over us Gen Xs by destroying the pension system and making us xers work till we are 90 so I didn't feel any sypathy whatsoever.

I did like the statements that higher mining taxes might make mining companies move. What a load of bullshit, what are they going to do move the coal!!!

With the money I saved I bought some land for conversation and spent some money on education and training.

It is a ridiculous push polling stunt, but expect to see more in the future as we have polls described as consultation and democracy.

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Respond to 'Big strong muscly choices'

Generation of losers

Posted April 15, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Did anybody in Generation X expect to retire at 65? Maybe not. We’ve always known the Boomers were going to swarm across the landscape like wrinkled locusts consuming everything in front of them. They got all the sweet deals and it looks like they’ll get the last one too, retiring at 65 on a publicly funded age pension.

At Blunty.

31 Responses to ‘Generation of losers’

Varangian78 would have you know...

Posted April 15, 2014

Great article JB, as true as it is concerning.

John Birmingham swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 15, 2014

Cheers, V.

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Halwes mutters...

Posted April 15, 2014

I've been very concerned about this issue since we robbed the upcoming generations of their ability to access their super and jacked up their retirement age until just before they are pushing up daisys. The trouble with our dumb boomer logic is that the Xers will be making the laws and writing the budgets when we are dribbling over our copy of the financial review trying vainly to remember who signs what and where on the corrupt family trust documents. I don't expect much sympathy from them and nor do we deserve it.

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JG has opinions thus...

Posted April 15, 2014

Baby Boomers can include those born up to 1964. I was born in 1963, so to some, I am a late, on-the-cusp Baby Boomer, while to others, I am a first-minted Gen X. You may yet call yourself a Baby Boomer, JB, although that’s unlikely. Don’t want to be old before your time.

The retirement pension age may well go up to age 70 in the next couple of years, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it eventually edges up to age 75. My father worked until he was 75. He’s now 77. The ability to work into old age (say, to 75) comes down to individuals’ capacities to work and their state of health.

My survival mode started at age 48, when I realised I wasn’t getting any younger. For a start, I’m trying to stay as healthy and fit as I can at age 51. According to a recent bio-age test, I’m only 32. Ha. OK. I’m willing to believe that. That means I can work until I’m 100.

I turn 51 in June but I’d say my physical health is 90 per cent better than most people in my age cohort (eg I’m running my first full marathon--42.2km--in July). Nevertheless, I noticed that I started to feel older and tired easily more from around the age of 48.

Given that many people start to feel the effects of ageing from around age 48, how will many Australians cope working for another 25 or 30 years? Physically, I don’t think the majority will have the energy to work until age 70.

I don’t think working to 70 or 75 is a bad thing—it’s great if you are able to, and all power to those who can and do—but there will be many elderly people who cannot cope with the physical, mental, and emotional stresses of participating in the paid workforce.

Then again, I doubt that a lot of older people will be able to get paid work again, even part time, if they lose a job due to unforeseen circumstances such as retrenchment or further casualisation of the workforce. There is still discrimination amongst employers towards older workers. Employers simply want fresh, energetic, younger people in jobs, particularly in full-time work.

I’m not overgeneralising here: it’s a cold, hard fact. I know from my experience trying to get work once Campbell Newman retrenched all the contract/temporary public servants in Queensland. Once you’re over 45 these days, it’s tough to get work regardless of high levels of education or experience. Just don’t lose your current job. There are simply not enough jobs to go around.

Technology has killed off much of the need for workers. The workforce is shrinking in part because of our ‘smart’, technologically driven societies. There are also global influences on Australia’s workforce. It hasn’t regained equilibrium since the GFC.

There’s always volunteer work to occupy the unemployed, but that doesn’t pay the bills. If older people are forced to live on the pathetically low, barely survivable level of unemployment benefits—Newstart Allowance (or whatever it’s called in the future)—then it’s a sorry indictment on society. Is that any way to treat an older, frail generation? No respect or sense of decency, these days.

Let me exaggerate now, people, and get a bit silly. Let’s say governments of the future legalise voluntary euthanasia and encourage older, frail people to die earlier. Just get rid of the old sods. Put them to rest; encourage them to push up the daisies. Whatever. Add to that, a one baby per family stipulation, forced sterilization, and, the big whammy: World War 3. The big war should kill off millions of people and rebalance the over-population problem. Bingo! Problem solved. Sick.

Hey, I’m being sarcastic, people (if you’re sad old grey matter has not picked that up), but there’s an ugly element of truth in these comments. Overpopulation + fewer jobs + fewer working to support the older/frail/infirm = we have a problem, Houston. It is an unsustainable world we live in.

Conclusion: life wasn’t meant to be easy: suck it up. Or, alternatively, it’s a case of survival of the fittest. We will adapt. Perhaps. You decide.

Joanna G

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insomniac reckons...

Posted April 15, 2014

Why not start even earlier a la Logan's Run?

John Birmingham ducks in to say...

Posted April 15, 2014

I hadn't of it in those terms, but a really, really interesting angle that I dont think anybody has thought about yet is the increasing ill health of Gen X and the later cohorts. Rising obesity levels in particular will constrain their ability to work later in life.

JG is gonna tell you...

Posted April 15, 2014

I was tempted to write that obesity is the Australian norm in my comment (above), JB, but thought I'd offend too many overweight readers here.

So true. Nothing ages and limits people quicker than obesity.

Joanna ;)

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Miss maudy puts forth...

Posted April 15, 2014

I don't know about the idea of retirement being extended to 70 - I can only look at my own motley collection of Old People (of which I have more than my fair share) and say that it totally depends on the person and the work they do and their level of fitness (mental and physical). Even looking at my own friends - we're all between 40 and 50, and some of us would have another 20+ years of work in us. Some wouldn't.

This means the OPs who aren't capable of working for whatever reason are dumped onto the disability support pension (which will be cut out) or left to rot in the mire of newstart

OP #1 (male aged 74) 'retired' before he was 60 due to ill health - no way he could have worked to 70. Desk job when he was working.

OP#2 (female, aged 73) worked in a physical job well into her sixties and still does labouring every now and then.

OP#3 (female aged 72) would happily continue working now if someone would have her.

OP#4 (female aged 71) never worked a day in her life.

OP#5 (male aged 71) still pretty fit and active, did volunteering until he got sick last year.

OP#6 (male aged 69) still works to fund overseas trips and uses OP#2 as labour.

(OP#7 died aged 60, but fortunately retired at age 55 so he got to have some fun)

w from brisbane has opinions thus...

Posted April 15, 2014

I'm aware of four people who have continued to work in offices after 65. Two are totally useless, one has some skills but causes too much damage by insulting everyone, the other works at about 40% capacity.
The superviser of one of the useless ones took a posting in probably Africa's most dangerous country just to avoid the horror of daily dealings with the oldster. I kid you not.

People have rightly made the point about the challenges for manual workers continuing on, but I can't see it being much easier for the office worker. The problem in office work these days is that, even if your desk doesn't change, your job continually does. Every few months, a new system, totally new tasks. Output, Output, Output. Every keystroke and movement logged. There is some mythical team of three people in India that you individually have to out-produce. You just get too old for it. Try as you might, you can't think as fast. At some point, about 4 system iterations ago, you just lose the thread. Maybe if they could spend the last 10 years with the same tasks, but that just won't be feasible I reckon.

Lulu has opinions thus...

Posted April 15, 2014

w - and there are physical challenges involved with office work as well: RSI, carpal tunnel, etc etc.

w from brisbane swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 15, 2014

You are right there, Lulu.
As health experts has stated, the office is a biologically toxic environment. Primarily, all that sitting down; bad hearts, bad backs, plus, as you say, RSI, carpal tunnel etc.
A friend of mine was considering early retirement at 55 and chatting about it while waiting for the train. Another bloke overheard him, he was older, but looked fit and healthy. He said. "Excuse me, I can't help but overhear you. I'm 61, but I retired when I turned 55. The mates around my age that I worked with, that decided to work on, they have been dying off one by one. All I can say is, if you can afford to retire, I strongly recommend it."

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w from brisbane reckons...

Posted April 15, 2014

Yesterday I heard Kevin Andrews dolefully intoning on the need to work until at least 70.

This comfortless message reminded me of Mr. Andrews other great policy passion; keeping voluntary euthanasia illegal. Remember, back in 1996, when he rose spectre-like from the parliamentary ooze to tell us that our death will not be at a time of our own choosing, not if he has anything to do with it. With his corpse-like face and funereal voice, Mr Andrews seemed to be the embodiment of Death itself. I still get creeped out thinking about it.

So, to sum up Mr. Andrews contribution, you can't stop working and you can't die until there is utter physical collapse.
I find it hard to warm to this dude.

Halwes ducks in to say...

Posted April 16, 2014

I still can't believe the feds never busted me after the letter I wrote to scumbag Andrews after mum died a lingering death. Doctors do the right thing eventually by upping the morphine dose to lethal levels. Andrews and whatever wonderfully benevolent god you may worship need people to suffer painfully in an undignified manner and feed the doctors next holiday to the Algarve first. If you've got any brains then you are thinking about this stuff well before you are too incapacitated to pull your own trigger.

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Aaron reckons...

Posted April 15, 2014

Good article I was ranting with a friend about baby boomers just yesterday so it's like jb has rolled in cavalry style to back me up. The generation themselves aren't bad but the policies designed to target their particular votes have been the true danger.

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tqft would have you know...

Posted April 15, 2014

Work requires a job. What jobs?

Bunyip puts forth...

Posted April 15, 2014

Yup. I've been rendered redundant by Sensible Govt(TM), so I'm basically an unskilled 50 year old. In the country.

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Darth Greybeard mutters...

Posted April 15, 2014

I had my rant at Blunty but seriously, I didn't ask to be born in the Boomer demographic. We've looked after our kids as we were by our respective parents - no Winnebago, no OS holidays. We live reasonably well, paid our taxes, get zero government benefits and provide child care, interest-free loans and/or gifts. Interestingly when our bank stuffed up recently, daughter offered us $60k in a flash out of their mortgage account (we needed $10k in the end). The whole generation thing glosses over the fact that there are greedy bastards and shit parents in every generation, not just Boomers. At least part of the solution seems to me that we save compulsorily through an expanded Super scheme, with a safety net for those who can't. Until we can guarantee that all 70 year olds are mentally and physically capable of working, this simple age rise sucks. And BTW, I doubt that I'll ever get a cent from the pension and damn few benefits so I don't personally have a stake in this.

insomniac puts forth...

Posted April 15, 2014

If both my grandmother and father develop Parkinsons while in their 60s, what are my chances of working until I'm 70.

Darth Greybeard puts forth...

Posted April 16, 2014

Exactly. Also to the above rant, we raised the first two kids and managed the mortgage on just my salary - women had to resign when married in them days. Not because we were bleeding marvellous but because you could do that then. By the time No.3 arrived, not so easy and like many others she returned to work when he was kindy age. Facts of life, each generation does what it can with conditions at the time, but we don't control those conditions. But she also salary sacrificed a high percentage into Super which is why we're now able to live in reasonable comfort. Industry Super - it's da bomb. But if it were centrally organised by the Feds as in the US, it could cover those who can't get jobs, are frequently out of work etc. Civilisation is having each others backs and sharing the loot. Or something like that.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted April 16, 2014

That's socialism, and that makes it evil.

damian puts forth...

Posted April 16, 2014

How come the devil's got all the good tunes?

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Dino not to be confused with has opinions thus...

Posted April 15, 2014

Hey JB,

I recall your article about "Greedy Hippies Stealing Electrons'.

This Fuckwit who live across the road from me claimed the solar panels and solar hot water were an 'eyesore'.

Yep.

What can I say.

Fuckwit.

Am leaving the neighbourhood.

Will confront him shortly.

I ripped the inverters out of the wall and smashed them on the streer.

I am sure he saw them.

No response.

Another Jew coward.

Seeking locale` with integrity.

Dino not to be confused with puts forth...

Posted April 15, 2014

Yeah so for a year or two the inverters have not been connected to the panels.

No Income.

Paying full electricity prices.

Wanna see him suck my dick?

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Lulu ducks in to say...

Posted April 15, 2014

The comments on BT made me think of the 'four Yorkshiremen' sketch:

"We used to live in this tiny old tumbled down house with great big holes in the roof."

"House! You were lucky to live in a house! We used to live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, half the floor was missing, and we were all ‘uddled together in one corner for fear of falling."

"Eh, you were lucky to have a room! We used to have to live in the corridor!"

"Oh, we used to dream of livin’ in a corridor! Would have been a palace to us."

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Lulu puts forth...

Posted April 15, 2014

The comments on BT made me think of the 'four Yorkshiremen' sketch:

"We used to live in this tiny old tumbled down house with great big holes in the roof."

"House! You were lucky to live in a house! We used to live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, half the floor was missing, and we were all ‘uddled together in one corner for fear of falling."

"Eh, you were lucky to have a room! We used to have to live in the corridor!"

"Oh, we used to dream of livin’ in a corridor! Would have been a palace to us."

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Dino not to be confused with mumbles...

Posted April 15, 2014

Captain,

Some ignoramus mentoned Houston.

I will adjust the Haarp Frequency.(The Wave JB, the wave).

My associates in Austin are enquiring as to whether we need extra voltage.

ACDC HIgh Voltage.

The offer is there.

I have thanked them and the staff at JPL.

Next fuckwit that mentions Houston may recieve a headache...

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John Birmingham asserts...

Posted April 15, 2014

Too much, Dino. Too much.

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Dino not to be confused with mumbles...

Posted April 15, 2014

Aye Aye Captain,

But Honestly who need more than Kiss and Madonna?

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Dino not to be confused with ducks in to say...

Posted April 16, 2014

You know the first time I remember going to UNSW was when I was 10 years old.

Yep.

Buncha brass uniforms told me I should study physics and chemistry.

I asked them why I couldn't do what they were doing?

Since they had no fucking idea about physics and chemistry.

Oxymoron?

Fuck yeah.

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John Birmingham swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 16, 2014

Signal to noise ratio, Dino. Signal to noise.

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Aaron is gonna tell you...

Posted April 16, 2014

Well it's certainly generated so e healthy and not so healthy debate. I like greybeards thoughts.

As mentioned who will employ someone at 65 let alone 55? I can see a future where you will have to present a medical along w your resume, assuming they even look at it.

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Respond to 'Generation of losers'

Queensland powers into the 20th century with coffee carts

Posted April 10, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

If course, it's too late me. But the hovercraft has its own espresso bar. The Bunnies make a very nice piccolo. But I suppose its nice for the little people.

At Blunty.

3 Responses to ‘Queensland powers into the 20th century with coffee carts’

Anthony mumbles...

Posted April 10, 2014

Living here in beautiful Bruns-a-wick where first class coffee abounds (and we have a couple of excellent local breweries), I don't have those third-world issues that you have in Queensland.

And when I ride my motorcycle down Lygon Street to the city early in the morning I can get a double dose of caffeine just by breathing in (and I don't have to worry about being stopped and told to strip so they can photograph my non-existent tattoos to see if I'm a "criminal"). And when I get to Minotaur books in the city I can park the bike on the footpath and browse at my leisure for the latest works specially flown in from afar.

So what if the weather can be awful. All I need to do is wait half an hour and it changes...

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Peter in the bleaches swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 10, 2014

JB, I hesitate to comment - first world problem? I assume you can get a decent piccolo at Toowong?

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My new job

Posted April 8, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

If it's good enough to Campbell Newman...

At Blunty.

84 Responses to ‘My new job’

beeso puts forth...

Posted April 8, 2014

is itjust me or was that column a bit .......short.

dweeze reckons...

Posted April 8, 2014

The Fairfax businessmen obviously didn't cough up enough $$$ when JB shook themdown.

NBlob ducks in to say...

Posted April 8, 2014

@ Beeso.

Yeah I felt a missing paragragh or two. Like a massive disturbance in the force, like a million voices crying out who were then cut off short. But, you know, without the force, nor the voices.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted April 8, 2014

Keep your old job, JB. But I continue to recommend that you diversify.

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Rob puts forth...

Posted April 8, 2014

your new job sounds like a wonderful plan. I would also be liking to get some of the filthy lucre available to men over 40 who wear suits.

Although I seem to still have hair.That might mean I can't hang with Campbell.

NBlob is gonna tell you...

Posted April 8, 2014

JB doesn't have That problem.

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Bunyip ducks in to say...

Posted April 8, 2014

I can see an opportunity for code monkeys, with an app where you can record which suits have been shaken down, things to not mention during the wallet lifting etc.

Just trying to help.

Brother PorkChop puts forth...

Posted April 8, 2014

Perhaps take it a step further and have the app recognise, query and check off against THE LIST all smart phones in close proximity so that you can actively target the lifting of aforementioned wallets.

Lulu mutters...

Posted April 8, 2014

Or just hack into their accounts, using bank details they've probably entered on the smartphones - don't even need to touch their wallets directly.

Dino not to be confused with mumbles...

Posted April 8, 2014

Just do an Auction.

Dino not to be confused with puts forth...

Posted April 8, 2014

Having sooooo many showers lately.

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JG asserts...

Posted April 8, 2014

Good luck shaking the lucky money tree, John. You might wrangle a few extra thou' of moolah if you courtesy or give a doggy-like display of affection at your next show up. Don't forget to wash your hands before shaking the paws of your followers.

I'm glad you are devoting your time to a worthy cause in your new job. Your very presence - let alone your wise words of harsh correction, frivolity, wisdom, experience, and wit - deserve at least $10,000 per pop up for such a fine specimen as yourself.

No need for cap in hand, sir. Take what is dutifully owed you. Accept the dosh, and more.

Our most high Mr Rabbit of Oz must make you a Knight of the Royal Carrot. May the Primya of Queensland, Mr Know-it-all Yes Newman, shine his bright domed head your way.

Respectfully anon, head bowed in humility, etc, etc, etc...

Joanna G aka JG aka yakka yakka.

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Halwes is gonna tell you...

Posted April 8, 2014

You're thinking too small. No one can get rich just poking around the edges. No. You have to become a vital cog in a very corrupt machine to do that. Think Joh and paper bags full of money. You don't think that a measly $5k got you anything in those days do you? Join the machine where hookers, liquor licenses, roads getting built in front of your pub and dams being constructed up the road from your recently aquired farm are part of the job description. You'd get elected no worries. Just tell queenslanders that you are Joh's illegitimate love child and they'll gladly suckle you on their corrupt bosums.

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Dino not to be confused with ducks in to say...

Posted April 8, 2014

Gurdels Theorem?

U know maths is incomplte and stuff.

Or for da learned prime drivatives and stuff.

But the way I see it is shallow verse deep.

Extension of some earlier work.

Yeah an da office and da computer '97 level 43(?)

Dino not to be confused with mutters...

Posted April 8, 2014

Just lokked up Copper Poisening.

Cause, you know, injections and shit.

palm Island QLD. Algacide?

NFW!

No effen wonder.

Fucks yo brain mate.

Dino not to be confused with would have you know...

Posted April 8, 2014

Anyhoo who authrised the copper release inta da envirament of Palm Island?

What did dey want?

The Land? cause dey knew what would happen. maybe dey needed to toughen up the Police force a little. Send them to Palm Island the most dangerous place on Earth(for a while).

How is it now? Did the use chelates to remedy the problem?

You know Mossad hacked my computer this morning/last night.

Don't know why?

Joke-

"What's worse a Greek Jew or an Egyptian Jew?"

Doesn't mattr JOh runs queensland dats all you need to know mt dutchy.

Dino not to be confused with mutters...

Posted April 8, 2014

Dame?

Yep preety sure a dame.

Onya Joh for PM!

Dino not to be confused with ducks in to say...

Posted April 8, 2014

Nah just a 'Lady'.

No Dame for da missus.

Like 'Lady of the Night'

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Dino not to be confused with ducks in to say...

Posted April 8, 2014

Captain,

The smartcells are a defensive sheild technology developed in the nineties.

Polarisation can be adjusted.

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Dino not to be confused with ducks in to say...

Posted April 8, 2014

Well there you have it Gents. A scientific arguement that cannot be refuted-

http://www.sunshinecoastdaily.com.au/news/the-opinions-still-flo/2069190/

Shalom

Dino not to be confused with puts forth...

Posted April 8, 2014

Seeya Clive.

You're on your own as far as this Goyim is concerned.

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Dino not to be confused with puts forth...

Posted April 8, 2014

OMG someone I know is 'late'.

Again.

When will they have the female condom ready?

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Dino not to be confused with is gonna tell you...

Posted April 8, 2014

Cause the last time I stuck my dick in a cunt this truck driver asked me to find his keys so we could both drive out in the truck.

JG mutters...

Posted April 8, 2014

Settle down, Dino. I find this offensive. Can only assume you're drunk too much beer.

JG

Dino not to be confused with has opinions thus...

Posted April 8, 2014

Fair enough JG,

I find it amazing that people are more offended with language than violence.

Which would you prefer?

Look up white phosphouros in Gaza.

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Dino not to be confused with reckons...

Posted April 8, 2014

Cause the last time I stuck my dick in a cunt this truck driver asked me to find his keys so we could both drive out in the truck.

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Dino not to be confused with is gonna tell you...

Posted April 8, 2014

Hello Clementine.

everyone wants waht you want.

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Dino not to be confused with reckons...

Posted April 8, 2014

Silence is Golden Clem.

"Oh my Darlin', Oh my Darlin', oh my daaaaaarlin Clemintine...."

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Dino not to be confused with puts forth...

Posted April 8, 2014

Silence is Golden Clem.

"Oh my Darlin', Oh my Darlin', oh my daaaaaarlin Clemintine...."

Dino not to be confused with mutters...

Posted April 8, 2014

Captain,

Systems are being restored.

Klingons are seeking engagement.

Permission to fire...

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Dino not to be confused with swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 8, 2014

Captain,

Have you read 'Henry Ford and the Jews'?

There is a problem with verification of the authenticity of Clem.

She cares about American Values at teenage level more than Palestine.

Torpedoes away..

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Dino not to be confused with ducks in to say...

Posted April 8, 2014

Captain she rights under a siudenim.

Her name is FALSE Captain.

When will she write about Palestine.

The truck driver has found his keys and will be exiting the vaginal chasm shortly.

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Dino not to be confused with asserts...

Posted April 8, 2014

You know what I hate Captain?

Jews pretending to be German or from Quebec.

Quit my job this week cause of the chutzpah.

Lying Fucks.

When will the Embassies open?

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Dino not to be confused with ducks in to say...

Posted April 8, 2014

Captain,

Remember Julia Gillards response to Josh Frydenbergs questions?

'Stupid and wrong' Captain.

Where is Josh from?

JG go to Brookings with a paypacket and STFU.

You are brain dead and don't know it.

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pi reckons...

Posted April 8, 2014

Someone needs to take a bex and have a wee lie down.

Dino not to be confused with is gonna tell you...

Posted April 8, 2014

So I get the Job right?

Tellin' the truth at fairfucks?

Dino not to be confused with reckons...

Posted April 8, 2014

Always Independent.

Like a whore bent over.

Dino not to be confused with asserts...

Posted April 8, 2014

OMG Daily Life is open to comment!

Like any fucker would try.

FK off Clem.

FK off to ISrael.

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sibeen would have you know...

Posted April 9, 2014

Jaysus, JB, I'm not one who would normally call for moderation. I really do believe that all voices should be heard without fear or favour; but once, just this once, please, for the love of gawd, bring out your smiting hammer and use the fucking thing.

Barnesm mutters...

Posted April 9, 2014

Indeed. Its not an issue of censorship or unfair discrimination. When a spambot generates annoying posts, or comments its blocked. When a human beings posts are even less informantive or relevant then blocking these posts would seem justified.

Its sort of an alternative universe Turing test. When you can not tell the diffence between a spambot and a human being when they are only communicating through text on a screen.

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Halwes has opinions thus...

Posted April 9, 2014

I don't think that it needs moderating at all. If you read it without judgement there are some real pearls in there. The point about language being more offensive to some than violence is well made. While everyone in this country is focused on a few idiots punching on at the cross we continue to be involved in military adventures where children are killed on a daily basis. Weird priorities if you ask me.

BigWillieStyle asserts...

Posted April 9, 2014

"If you read it without judgement there are some real pearls in there."

Yeah, the bit about Jews pretending to be from Quebec, and all that d*ck/c*nt talk was brilliant.

Halwes puts forth...

Posted April 9, 2014

I think that you are judging it by your own standards but I'm saying that your standards, or mine for that matter, may not be the same as someone elses standards. This doesn't make someone elses standards, or yours or mine, irrelevant it just means that they are different. I think that is what CBG is about. People don't always agree and vehemently argue their point sometimes, but to call for censorship on the basis of language or discussion points seems over the top. If we challenge things that we find offensive with logic instead of calling for censorship then we are able to anticipate and deal with the future so much better. Censorship of ideas simply pushes them underground into secret societies. Except child exploitation etc. That needs to be exposed and severley punished. Most other ideas, no matter how offensive, can be challenged effectively with logic and reason. As fo Dino maybe being pissed then most of the true artists, musicians and thinkers have been affected at some time by substances.

Barnesm puts forth...

Posted April 9, 2014

"there are some real pearls in there" yeah but the signal to noise ratio is significantly low, approaching zero.

Lulu has opinions thus...

Posted April 9, 2014

"If we challenge things that we find offensive with logic instead of calling for censorship"

In this case, I think using logic would be like nailing jelly to a tree. And about as effective.

Barnesm reckons...

Posted April 9, 2014

What if you freeze the jelly around the nail, using a liquid nitrogen spray, would that work?

Halwes has opinions thus...

Posted April 9, 2014

"Like nailing jelly to a tree" Gold !

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Bunyip swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 9, 2014

I normally don't have standards, so I've been forced to borrow some from the minions. And I must say, the code bunnies have to do a bit of work on the Dinobot. Sometimes output quality and quantity parameters are of use.

Not that I actually have any myself. And no, I'm not letting any of you lot near my code.

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted April 9, 2014

I normally swing the ban hammer only on posts which are personally and unacceptably abusive. I judge the limits of acceptability.

I have no fucking idea what Dino's on about a lot of the time. But it requires no great effort on my part not to read his comments.

I think I understand that he has some issue with Clem Bastow and that his truck driver comment is a form of performance art designed to find the edges of that issue. I think.

Bunyip has opinions thus...

Posted April 9, 2014

Fair 'nuff.

Dino not to be confused with is gonna tell you...

Posted April 9, 2014

That makes 2 uf us JB.

No problem with Clem Bastow.

Don't know her.

Too many selfies on her blog IMHO though.

Performance art?

No.

Saw Whitney Houston sing on the tele in late '72(?).

Banach and Superstition and SSB.

Dealing with multivariate stuff.

And Israel sucks shit.

Don't start me on History of Nippon.

They made an error.

They hate being told that.

JG asserts...

Posted April 9, 2014

'JG go to Brookings with a paypacket and STFU.

You are brain dead and don't know it.'

Then I take it you do not take this comment to be 'personally and unacceptably abusive' towards me, JB.

Go figure. It's your blog.

JG

Dino not to be confused with mutters...

Posted April 9, 2014

Any fuckwit, lying fuckwit, can commence legal action forthwith.

But they won't.

Dino not to be confused with swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 9, 2014

Captain,

There is a cockroach.

It is eating shit and wanting attention.

JG swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 9, 2014

Now if that is not personally abusive, I don't know what isn't, JB.

Either way, you are right, John. It is easy enough to ignore such pathetic comments and not read attention-seeking trivia from spambots such as Dino.

Dino not to be confused with mumbles...

Posted April 9, 2014

OMG raise my pay to 400 000 daollars ayera!

Sucking Brookings dicks is expensive.

I knoew I am stupisd!

But what about equality?

Dino not to be confused with is gonna tell you...

Posted April 9, 2014

Thighs and no brains.

Ass that has it's own Gravitational feild.

Makes up for the lakc of cerebral content.

Seen better pigs.

Smart ones I would talk to bfore this shirt.

Dino not to be confused with reckons...

Posted April 9, 2014

Captain,

The insecticde please...

Dino not to be confused with is gonna tell you...

Posted April 9, 2014

JG,

If you are not Julia Gillard than don't worry.

None of my comments are directed at you.

Dino not to be confused with reckons...

Posted April 9, 2014

JG,

If you are not Julia Gillard than don't worry.

None of my comments are directed at you.

Dino not to be confused with is gonna tell you...

Posted April 9, 2014

But if you are please return the telegraph pole that is up your ass.

And I expect payment for your pleasure.

Never since the Whore of Babylon has there been a transparent blight on Humanity.

Say hello to your Dad.

He is sooooo proud of you my little lesbian cocksucker liar.

Everyone loves you.

Dino not to be confused with is gonna tell you...

Posted April 9, 2014

Wanna up the ante?

Halwes ducks in to say...

Posted April 9, 2014

Hi Red, Why do you even care enough to be offended about this? I'm truly interested. It's only words on a screen written by a half intelligent, angry person ( who makes some good points about Israeli atrocities in Palestine) who you'll never meet or interact with on any level apart from this. My workplace is far more offensive than this on a daily basis. I'm truly offended by institutionalised violence like state sanctioned war, terrorism and police brutality but words can't hurt me at all. I'm old now but some of the verbal crap and put downs I copped off elders when I was a kid hurt me a lot at the time. Today I thank them for it. I can cop anything off anybody and not care at all. I hope you aren't taking it too seriously. The world is full of people like this and the best way to handle it is to laugh it off and forget about it. Censorship, like prohibition, is dangerous. Best Wishes

Dino not to be confused with ducks in to say...

Posted April 9, 2014

Nah didn't think so.

OMG there is a rock I can put up my ass!

Watch me bleed.

Please everyone watch me bleed!

Sisters help me.......

JG puts forth...

Posted April 9, 2014

I take this as your attempt at an apology, Dino. I accept your apology.

I am a JG redhead - as is Julia Gillard - but I am not the former prime minister, much as I admire her.

My sense of humour is intact. No harm done. You guys are a rough lot.

JG: Joanna, not Julia.

Dino not to be confused with ducks in to say...

Posted April 9, 2014

Thanks Captain,

I will use my shoe from now on.

Halwes puts forth...

Posted April 9, 2014

You prick Dino! How dare you criticise Julia? She will go down in history as the best PM this country has ever had.

JG puts forth...

Posted April 9, 2014

You're right, Halwes.

I've always been over sensitive and take life far too seriously for my own good.

Timely advice, kind sir.

Life's too short to hold grudges and/or care too much about what others think and say. I'd love to have been born with a thick skin - or to learn to not give a schmick.

All's good that ends well. I should laugh more. :) ;) :'D oh dear. That's not right. I worry and worry.

hahaha... there. That's a start.

Dino not to be confused with would have you know...

Posted April 9, 2014

I wasn't criticising her.

She be dead if I did.

Dino not to be confused with reckons...

Posted April 9, 2014

pERSONALLY aBUSIVE?

hOW jb?

lOOK ABOVE.

jULIA IS EATING SHIT AND SAYING IT TATSES NICE.

yEAH i BELIEVE HER.

tHANKFULLY SHE IS EDUMACATED.

i WOULD FOLLOW HER INTO HELL AND THEN PUSH HER IN.

tOO LATE BEEN DONE ALREADY.

Dino not to be confused with would have you know...

Posted April 9, 2014

Captain,

Will take out the minions.

2 weeks max.

Watch em run...

Dino not to be confused with ducks in to say...

Posted April 9, 2014

Minions dealt with Captain.

Engaging warp drive.

OMG

Warp Drive.

Where is my walking stick?

Dino not to be confused with asserts...

Posted April 9, 2014

Labor Party?

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

Prostitutes known globally.

Wan't the pictures JB?

Dino not to be confused with swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 9, 2014

Poor JG,

She will summon the 'courage' to 'do the right thing' eventually.

In the mean time I have dysentry and the pigs that used to eat my expulsions are overwhelmed.

Seeking a Labor Leader...

Dino not to be confused with has opinions thus...

Posted April 9, 2014

Cancelling Kevin Barret Lvl 43 'Shmuck' tomorrow.

Mission Accoplished.

Dino not to be confused with reckons...

Posted April 9, 2014

Shut down the system again I did.

he he he

Dino not to be confused with reckons...

Posted April 9, 2014

Shut down the system again I did.

he he he

Respond to this thread

Mayhem's Mum would have you know...

Posted April 9, 2014

One is of the opinion that society in general has no standards at all. If it did, Paris Hilton wouldn't be able to demand $250K for showing up at a party and Ronald Reagan wouldn't be paid $350K for giving a fifteen minute speech. Mr Campbell Newman could learn a great deal from our American Brethren and Sistren.

Barnesm swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 9, 2014

But to see a debate between Paris Hilton and Ronald Reagan moderated by Sephen Cobert now you are talking.

insomniac has opinions thus...

Posted April 9, 2014

Even though Ronnie is dead, I think Paris would still have some difficulty

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Respond to 'My new job'

The Premier's pay rise

Posted April 1, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

How do you trouser a seventy grand pay rise? With a big smile if you're Campbell Newman.

At Blunty.

8 Responses to ‘The Premier's pay rise’

Quokka ducks in to say...

Posted April 1, 2014

Heh heh heh.

Nice one JB.

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insomniac is gonna tell you...

Posted April 1, 2014

And the monster on the left is ... ?

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MarkatVAVS reckons...

Posted April 1, 2014

Definately a bit more than the 3 percent we had to fight for last year.

(mental image, The Premier and a long walk on a short pier)

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Barnesm swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 1, 2014

I am sorry but the use of a still from the universally derided 1993 live action Super Mario Bros film invalidates any arguement you make.

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Conspiracy Cat is gonna tell you...

Posted April 1, 2014

Don't fret. I hear tell the payrise will be funded with paper bags full of unmarked bills. Some delivered by large and sweaty, leather-clad and tattooed gentlemen on two-wheeled vehicles. Others delivered by large and sweaty, besuited gentlemen awaiting corporate heart attacks. There might have even been enough schmooze money left in those paper bags to fund an extra hospital bed or two, but I think Newman got wind of Naoum's drone idea, and wants a fleet with his own face on the side, to fetch his lunch on the days he shows up at work.

Cynic? Me? What on earth gives you that idea?

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JG swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 1, 2014

Spitting image, right down to the beady eyes and piranha teeth.

Newman's job cuts from when he was made Premier to now (and presumably continuing ad nauseum) will fund the hefty pay rises.

Forget about health care, education, child care, the socioeconomically disadvantaged blah de blah. Lining the weekend spending kitty for politicians is Queensland's top priority.

Because Campbell's worth it.

spewfffttt.

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JBtoo mutters...

Posted April 1, 2014

I was hopng this was the April fools' post

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damian swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 1, 2014

I'm acting up again, this time for several months. It's busy enough that I maxed out flex within a few days of starting. So I'm now routinely pulling several hours unpaid overtime a week and for some reason this seems perfectly normal. Oh, there's a pay rise to go with that, which I guess works out about enough to cover a few extra cups of coffee a week (much needed) and while I'm not sure exactly how well I like manglement space yet, it seems to like me well enough (if a little over-vigorously at times).

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Respond to 'The Premier's pay rise'

Arise, Baron Mugabe

Posted March 27, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Sir Anthony Abbott promised us a Golden Age of Satire, my friends. And he has delivered. Forsoothe he didst provide two blogs for the price of one, and one of them early:

Sir Joh Bjelke-Petersen, the disgraced and deceased premier of Queensland would have heartily, if incoherently endorsed Tony Abbott’s disinterring of the imperial honours system. His corrupt, convicted former police chief ex-Sir Terry Lewis will be giddy with excitement, never having felt quite right about having his first knighthood stripped away with his belt and shoelaces at the prison gates.

Perhaps Sir Terry could arise again. After all, it must be dreadfully embarrassing to be lumped in with the Annulled Honorary Knights Grand Cross of the Order of the Bath Sir Nicolae Ceau?escu, Lord Robert Mugabe and Baron Benito Mussolini

At Blunty.

If you're wondering why I went back for a second bite of this sweet, sweet cherry, it's because Fairfax asked me to. A day early.

3 Responses to ‘Arise, Baron Mugabe’

pi reckons...

Posted March 27, 2014

I think there's only one word that can convey the sentiment that comes bubbling up with all of this... stuff.

derp.

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Dino not to be confused with swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted March 27, 2014

c2-. e3

Knight takes Bishop.

You are sooooo busted JB!

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/laughter-canned-speaker-bronwyn-bishop-rules-new-tactic-of-infectious-laughter-out-of-order-20140327-35jv0.html

'Multi-Universally Warned'

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JG swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted March 27, 2014

Mr Abbott's ears are getting bigger, pointier, and pinker over time. I fear he is turning into either Pinnochio inverted or the Easter Bunny. Bummer.

Lady Joanna waves, white lace gloves untainted by rabbit kisses.

Arise, yon dastardly surly JB.

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