Cheeseburger Gothic

The Return of the Ruddbot

Posted June 28, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

A spare Blunty I knocked up after the ALP's shennanigans took all the air out of my Edward Snowden piece.

Everyone had thought the movie was over, but in the very last act, when all seemed lost, rising from the smoking rubble, twisted steel girders falling and crashing all around the flame scarred mono-bonded carbon armour of its outer plating, the Ruddbot spooled up its fusion stacks, threw off the last clinging ant-like warriors of the Usurper Queen and bellowed its war shout.

"Must toodle-oo! Coming Albo?"

Unsurprisingly, some commenters can't help themselves and simply had to let their humourless inner gimp off the leash.

26 Responses to ‘The Return of the Ruddbot’

FormerlyKnownAsSimon has opinions thus...

Posted June 28, 2013

Oh dear dog. The list of parallels to public figures is endless. Endless i tells ya! I'd like to take a shot but for fear of a possible libel suit i think i will just toy with it in my mind.

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Lulu mutters...

Posted June 28, 2013

I'd move to Queensland just so I could vote against the treacherous, sanctimonious little sh!t.

Lulu reckons...

Posted June 28, 2013

To clarify: I meant Rudd not our esteemed host JB.

Rob has opinions thus...

Posted June 28, 2013

If you move to Qld you can probably kill two birds with one stone. Vote against Rudd and sneak into JB's pool for a swim. Everyone loves double prizes.

Conspiracy Cat swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 29, 2013

No, Lulu, don't listen to him! You do NOT want to swim in JB's pool. At least, not until he figures out how to remove the port-wine-jelly stains. And the goat.

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NBlob swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 28, 2013

2 words. Huzz & Zah.

Disregard the petty sniping from those so called Booker Prize judges. You sir are an artist. Perhaps the greatest artist of our time. The delicate counterpoint achieved by extracting urine, PoMo references and dancing around the pyre of irony. Delicous.

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BigWillieStyle swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 28, 2013

I slept in this morning. Is Rudd the PM today? So fucken hard to keep track these days.

Surely there's a phalanx of ALP pointy-head types hunched over in a bunker somewhere studying polling numbers? Adam Scott seems to be pretty popular these days. I think the 5,714 Hemsworth brothers are travelling quite well too. Mel from Kochie n' Mel needs a new gig.

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pi is gonna tell you...

Posted June 28, 2013

That kerthunking sound you keep hearing is the sound of bricks being shat.

I honestly believe that Tony Abbott is the Mark Latham of the liberals. The people who'd vote for him will never vote for anyone else, but there are some people, for whatever reason, would have chosen him over Gillard. Now that the Ruddbot is back, people will start feeling all the sunshine and light that only this particular ferverance will allow.

Now... I've got to zip, but I'll be back later...

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Shifty Tourist has opinions thus...

Posted June 28, 2013

Just can't believe how many times the ALP can commit electoral suicide during two terms in office.... ditching Rudd in the first place was a huge mistake, Gillard was always going to struggle being under the cloud of "the assassination" of KRudd. The only way she was ever going to gain legitimacy was by winning big in the following election.... but she didn't of course.... partly because of Rudd, but also partly because the ALP couldn't get their shite together.... also because Gillards entire communications team needed to be fed to the sharks.... or fired, whichever is the more apprioprate in the circumstances. How any communications team can think that coming out and saying she hadn't been "the real Julia" in the middle of an election.... I almost screamed... have these people never worked in communications before?

That was not the first, nor the last act of political footshooting. Then they go back to Rudd.... who, will probably get a bump in the polls, hey he could probably win the election.... but only if it were held in the next two weeks.... after that people will realise, hey, the ALP are so disfunctional they've just changed leaders again, I'm glad the righted the wrong against Rudd, now... where do I found Abbotts name on this ballot box?

Stupidity.... Before this the ALP were committing slow suicide by living a hard and fast lifestyle, cigarettes, booze, sex drugs and rock and roll. But this is suicide by arsenic!!!

In my humble, inexpert opinon of course.

Shifty Tourist asserts...

Posted June 28, 2013

Just to get in before any possible pendants who might be lurking;

I realise voters don't elect a PM directly

And I meant ballot paper, and ballot box.

Oh and grammer and spelling arn't my thing.

Darth Greybeard has opinions thus...

Posted June 28, 2013

Is there anything else you'd like to confess my son? Everything here is subject to the seal of the derisional and will never be repeated. Trust me, I have one of those robe thingies and a funny hat.

Shiftytouristfromthefuture ducks in to say...

Posted June 28, 2013

NOOOOOOOOOOO!

w from brisbane ducks in to say...

Posted June 28, 2013

Too late, Mr. Shifty 'Nickleback' Tourist.

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Shifty Tourist is gonna tell you...

Posted June 28, 2013

Thanks Greybeard...

I think I also once bought a Nickleback album... their song "How You Remind Me" was THE only song that really understood my pain.

Wow, I feel so much better now. If anybody found that out I'd be REALLY screwed.

insomniac mutters...

Posted June 28, 2013

Don't worry. It's been recorded and triangulated, and someone, somewhere is just reaching for the phone to give WikiLeaks a call

Shifty Tourist would have you know...

Posted June 28, 2013

But.. but... he said the confession was protected by the seal of the derisional, so ..... hang on.... derisional... oh shit... I see what he did there, GREYBEARD!!!! (shakes fist)

NBlob reckons...

Posted June 28, 2013

With him it's the triple crown of derisional, decrepit & more than a little delusional.

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yankeedog is gonna tell you...

Posted June 28, 2013

Ruddsie's back! We kept your chair warm for you!

Shifty Tourist would have you know...

Posted June 28, 2013

Unconfirmed reports (in other words made up) say he his first words to caucus on being reappointed were "as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted"

pi is gonna tell you...

Posted June 28, 2013

That's gold Shifty.

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MickH swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 28, 2013

I'm still chuckling over Greybeards "Gina the Hutt' comment

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damian reckons...

Posted June 28, 2013

Read it this morning and loved it, but didn't have time to comment and couldn't stick around to join in the fun. Nice, and I especially liked the graphic. Having determined that I'd be listening to nothing but Liszt 'cello sonatas from now till the election, and in the case of what seemed like the inevitable despair-inducing result, several years afterward, I find now that this will be an interesting election after all.

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damian asserts...

Posted June 28, 2013

Read it this morning and loved it, but didn't have time to comment and couldn't stick around to join in the fun. Nice, and I especially liked the graphic. Having determined that I'd be listening to nothing but Liszt 'cello sonatas from now till the election, and in the case of what seemed like the inevitable despair-inducing result, several years afterward, I find now that this will be an interesting election after all.

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andyf ducks in to say...

Posted June 29, 2013

you have to help us at this point o jb.

which faction is the evil Thatcherite one?

damian would have you know...

Posted June 29, 2013

The current leader of the opposition, Tony Abbot, is a non-ideological social conservative who is aligned with the Thatcher-like right of the conservative movement in Australia. While he doesn't appear to have a personal position on economics, he clearly hangs with business types and has a tendency not to understand that things might exist outside of a mainstream context where people are making money from it. Hence for instance his recently much-publicised remark that Malcolm Turnbull "virtually invented" the internet in Australia.

What Turnbull actually did was invest in an internet company during the 90s tech boom, and the fact he made quite a bit of money doing so made "the internet" respectable for some conservative business types (while Australia actually innovates and invents stuff "above its weight", Australian business traditionally is extremely suspicious of innovation compared to almost anywhere else... something must already be proved in the USA before the rusted-on investors will consider it). The internet in Australia, of course, was built by the universities without the co-operation of the monopoly telecom provider, who was the recipient of largesse when the government of the time turned this infrastructure over to it with the intent it should be made profitable "somehow".

Arguably Turnbull himself, who is currently the opposition communications spokesman, is more a classic Thatcherite economic neo-liberal. However he happens to be a social liberal too, so he both appeals to the Australian left to whom he seems less extremist than Abbott, and fails to convince the unpleasant social conservatives that Australia has in as much abundance as anywhere, possibly more so as you might note from some of the press around the sexist treatment of Australia's first female PM over the last 3 years. Rudd is ALP-right but not far from centre, probably more like Tony Blair than any Aus politician at the moment. The recently deposed Gillard and the new deputy PM Albanese are ALP left by background, though both position (or positioned) themselves as centrist reformers. Albanese made a rather wonderful statement in the middle of another leadship challenge a few months ago to the effect that he wished this stuff would all go away because "I just want to fight Tories. That's what I do". There is an equally wonderful cartoon of Albanese with this statement available on a t-shirt... Personally, I'd love to see Albo as PM and I hope he will be one day.

That's a moderately partisan telling, but should be as good a breifing as you might expect...

w from brisbane reckons...

Posted June 29, 2013

That is very good, damian.

And Rudd is an economic and social conservative, but with a strong social justice ethic.

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Respond to 'The Return of the Ruddbot'

When too much Blunty is barely enough

Posted June 20, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

It looked like the lawyers might bury my Cory Bernardi piece this morning, leading me to run up a stand by piece on the gobsmacking muntery of the Nine Network all but demanding a seat at the selectors table for the Australian Test Cricket team.

BWS has already won the comments. Twice, because of the werd double post thing at Fairfax today.

Ready bowler.

13 Responses to ‘When too much Blunty is barely enough’

insomniac puts forth...

Posted June 20, 2013

are you using an adjective or a verb?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 20, 2013

I'm actually not quite sure.

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Kat mumbles...

Posted June 20, 2013

Bernardi is a douche bag - that is an indisputable fact :D

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Barnesm ducks in to say...

Posted June 20, 2013

I think I got a comment in before the Bernard story got pulled.

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Timmo reckons...

Posted June 20, 2013

Bernardi - now there's a topic to get the Snark going - utter tool!

UntamedSnark has opinions thus...

Posted June 20, 2013

We Snarks have taken a look at this twisted little growth and backed away in horror, his mouthbreather mentality gives us a headache.

Currently modifying the arsenal of nerf guns into derp guns that can send darts of in not sanity then acme style silence through the ether in his direction.

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Shifty Tourist is gonna tell you...

Posted June 20, 2013

I thought it can only defammation if it wasn't true, surely any legal defence based on the fact the Bernardi ISN'T a douchebag would be blantant perjury.... especially given that it would be nearly impossible for Cory's lawyers to argue such a case with a straight face.

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Anthony has opinions thus...

Posted June 20, 2013

I sat opposite Cory Bernardi at a conference dinner once - he was very personable and quite pleasant but the whole time I kept looking around for the men in the white coats and I really had this urge to shower after I got back to the hotel.

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MickH has opinions thus...

Posted June 20, 2013

Didn't channel 9 do that once before? They called it World Series Cricket

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w from brisbane ducks in to say...

Posted June 20, 2013

I've always considered it odd that Channel 9 does the coin toss.

UntamedSnark has opinions thus...

Posted June 20, 2013

Why? They are natural tossers

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Respond to 'When too much Blunty is barely enough'

Comment of the Year

Posted June 11, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Today's Blunty, about the coming annihilation of the ALP gives us this comment from Mintslice, which should probably be graven into rock somewhere:

The fact that K Rudd is most loved by people who have had nothing to do with him speaks volumes.

His baffling appeal among witless suburban voters reflects the reality that very few soccer moms or tradies at home watching The Block at night have had to deal with this kind of elite psychotic bureaucrat in their life times.

I have. He creeps me out on so many levels. Hes like Lord Varys from Game of Thrones without the balls.

I completely understand the ALP's apparent preference for self immolation.

Rudd was the master of his own demise - when, in the finest control freak elite public servant fashion he thought he could engineer a mining tax without consulting industry.

Any sane person might thing that people you are regulating can have some productive input into the process, even if they dont like the outcome, but this sneaky little prick thought he could just spring it on them - as if governing by surprise with an inner circle of 24 year olds is any way of running the country.

Hes been scuttling around in the dark like a cockroach ever since, spreading shit and disease in the hope that he'll be the last roach left after the fallout settles.

Mark Latham is completely right about this guy. Rudd is an evil little snake hiding behind Jesus - as the worst of them always do.

The "affable nerd" routine shouldn't fool anyone with a modicum of life experience - but we're talking swinging voters here - the very definition of brain death.

Rudd has done a remarkable thing - he's given me a sense of perspective that there is something worse than the appalling white trash baiting Frat Boy vibe of Tony Abbott.

70 Responses to ‘Comment of the Year’

Murray mutters...

Posted June 11, 2013

While I agree that Rudd is a slimy prick, I don't think he'd be as damaging in the long term as 4 years of Abbott.

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Blarkon swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 11, 2013

Hope Mintslice feels fucking awesome about the endless Abbott government. Cos that's what this little vendetta is going to get you. Talk about cutting off your fucking nose to spite your fucking face.

Every time one of these muppets gets up and whinges during the next 15-20 years of Abbott's reign, all we have to do is say "well you thought he'd be better than fucking Kevin".

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Blarkon puts forth...

Posted June 11, 2013

's like the muppets who thought voting for Nader was an awesome idea, so the world got 8 years of George W Bush.

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Wyn Richards swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 11, 2013

This comment, and Latham's passionate observations on Q&A absolutely nails it. Rudd is a spiteful white-anter who holds his enemies in the ALP with more contempt than he does toward Abbott and his cronies. As our local bum waxer says, "Can't see the arse through the forest"

Love the cockroach analogy.

Blarkon ducks in to say...

Posted June 11, 2013

"Passionate observations" is code for "batshit ramblings" right?

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Neuronhead would have you know...

Posted June 11, 2013

but we're talking swinging voters here - the very definition of brain death

If no one ever voted differently we'd only need elections when the population had recycled enough to make it possible for a new government to elected. And people would only need to vote once in their lifetimes as no one would ever change their vote. Sounds legit.

I, on the other hand, vote for the party that I think has the best policies for the current climate, because I am a crazed lunatic.

murray is gonna tell you...

Posted June 11, 2013

'Swing voters' should not be confused with 'people who change their minds'.
It's parlance for 'people who live in a marginal seat'. More specifically it's "people who live in a marginal seat who don't give a shit about the rest of the coutnry as long as they get something for themselves"
Go back and watch some of the 'townhall' style debates from the previous election. "What's in it for me" asks the upper middle class white guy.

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Jack The Economic Canberra Conscript mutters...

Posted June 11, 2013

I'll be in Europe on 14 Sep. I'll be fucked if I'm going to come back if The Negatives and the The Idiot and his 1950's acolytes are ruining the joint. I'll be amusing myself in some cheap but entertaining village in Spain, throwing pesos at them via the NSA monitored Internet ;)

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Rob ducks in to say...

Posted June 11, 2013

'His baffling appeal among witless suburban voters reflects the reality that very few soccer moms or tradies at home watching The Block at night have had to deal with this kind of elite psychotic bureaucrat in their life times'.

This line is my life as I live the dream in this PS cublicle.

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she_jedi swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 11, 2013

Mint Slice erred with the comparison to GoT's Lord Varys; Rudd is cast more in the mold of Littlefinger than the eunuch. Varys has pretensions of trying to do the right thing for Westeros, Littlefinger's only out for himself and everything he can get, and be damned to everyone else.

Barnesm asserts...

Posted June 11, 2013

I was just going to say that as well.

besides I am quite sympathetic towards Lord Varys and believe he does care for the realm. I have no such faith in Rudd.

of Littlefinger Rudd "He would see this country burn if he could be king of the ashes".

she_jedi puts forth...

Posted June 11, 2013

That line was simply outstanding in the context of GoT, and disturbingly apt for our current discussion.

If we extend the analogy I wonder which leader would be Stannis Baratheon and which would be Joffrey?

SZF asserts...

Posted June 11, 2013

Barnaby Joffrey Joyce.

Stannis' awesome deathstare brings Julie Bishop to mind.

CJ asserts...

Posted June 11, 2013

Christopher Joffrey Pyne!

BigWillieStyle mumbles...

Posted June 11, 2013

Abbott is definitely Joffrey. Imbecilic little toerag with no fucking clue how to wipe his own arse let alone run a nation. Julie Bishop is Queen Cersei, smirking from behind the scenes and egging him on. Malcolm Turnbull is the Imp. - 100 times smarter than either of those two fuckwits, and constantly shaking his head as to how they're cut from the same cloth.

Nocturnalist would have you know...

Posted June 11, 2013

Yeah, I'd go with Pyne being Joffrey. Bronwyn Bishop would be Cersei. Nick Minchin would be Tywin Lannister.

Then again I think the Federal Liberap Party taken as a whole makes a pretty good Viserys Targaryen: vain, shallow, vengeful, mooching about waiting to be handed what's "rightfully" theirs and not giving a fuck who has to get hurt.

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Lulu has opinions thus...

Posted June 11, 2013

I've been saying for a while that the ALP's only hope is that KRudd is one of the people who loses his seat. Because if he isn't - he'll repeat the white-anting process on whoever is chosen as opposition leader.

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Blarkon mumbles...

Posted June 11, 2013

The turd in the punchbowl here is that Gillard supporters believe that the deep fucking shithole the government is in is due to Rudd. It's epic denialism. People are latching onto Rudd because they can see the apocalyptic wipeout that is going to happen because the people that support the current PM don't see that the current PM is a pretty huge issue with a substantial part of the electorate. They've wound themselves up into a "things would just be better if Kevin hadn't existed". When the ALP is reduced to a rump they'll still be saying "it is Kevin's fault" because admitting that the problem is with Gillard would be admitting that something could have been done to stave off the most epic wipeout in Australian electoral history.

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NBlob mumbles...

Posted June 11, 2013

My alliegances are well known & occasionally parodied.

I've given this a great deal of thought, read & listened widely.

If one accepts the role of the opposition to be to bring down the government by any & all means, this opposition has been by far the most effective opposition in my memory. Once they disposed of Brendan they have dictated the agenda at every stage. Every single time the Government got a trot up, a witless one-liner would hobble the gov's inertia. While progressives wrung Our hands and bemoaned the complexity of policy decisions. The coalition would Ace the debate with an imbecillic "Stop the Boats," "Pink Batts" or "School Halls" line. Stupid and oversimplified it may have been, but it cut through. It sank into the consciousness of Joe Sixpack & Wendy Homemaker. We on the progressive side may blame the coalition's allies in the MSM; Jones, Bolt, etc, but truly it is the spin lab of the opposition's death star that deserve the credit.

If you want evidence, look back across the headlines, everytime the Slipper imbruglio was run, or a No Confidence motion was proposed, it was less than 24 hours after the Government started to get some inertia.

The good-natured co-operation of Kim Beazely is gone forever. From this point on oppositions will be character assasins, dirt merchants and libel ladlers, tearing at the living flesh of poor old lumbering Govosaurus. This bodes badly for the future of Aus Democracy. Bipartisanship may have been very poorly, but this fed opposition has killed it, buried it, cremated it.

The ALP deserves much of the criticism it has recieved for hopeless management and apalling delivery, but Australian's do not deserve the economic and cultural dark-ages we are about to be flung into. Blaming victims, villifying the weakest and least empowered in the community will just be a start.

Just remember Workplace Flexibility is code for anyone on less than 50K gets it in the arse.

[blackops] asserts...

Posted June 11, 2013

I love that 'killed, buried and cremated' line, truly one of the mad monk's finest moments. God help us all.

Ippy Percival mutters...

Posted June 11, 2013

I still regret not flinging flood-mud over Abbott when I had the chance, at Rosalie back in 2011 where he had the spectacular good taste to come and CAMPAIGN with Terese Gambaro, no question of actually pitching in and helping with the clean up. The fucker is as toxic as that mud, I could have got a clear shot too.

Dave W would have you know...

Posted June 12, 2013

Yeah, I'm pretty well through those 7 stages too. As someone dealing with the innards of govt (what was it that bismarck said?), I'd agree with the summary here and from mintslice's original post, as to how the work happened- ie, effectively dysfunctional under KR and quite functional (as functional as it gets, anyway) under JG.

I think, too, that the potential for the flat-earthers to be sitting on the right of the speaker should be scaring the bejesus out of more people than it clearly is.

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Bedes would have you know...

Posted June 11, 2013

Julia sucks. Kevin rocks.

I'd swing my brain-dead vote back to Labor if Kevin was king.

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Brother PorkChop mutters...

Posted June 11, 2013

I'm with Mintslice.But the resurrection of KRudd is a tad frightening, given his bizarre popularity and his abilty to square gait on red carpet with world leaders. The rise of Mr Rabbit is also frightening but I think someone on that side of the fence will be holding the holy hand grenade of Antioch, precisely for that eventuality. Or at least I hope so.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted June 11, 2013

I can't follow most of this. But I do know that the socialists (whoever they are) are going to be "kicked out of office" come the next election. I know this because the father of my new Aussie brother-in-law assured me it is true. I'm not sure how replacing your socialists will play out, but am willing to bet that it will mean that anyone on lees than 50K will get it in the arse. That's what happened here.

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NBlob mumbles...

Posted June 11, 2013


the father of my new Aussie brother-in-law
Eh?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan puts forth...

Posted June 12, 2013

Yep. We didn't have much in common except our appreciation for Sydney. He advised me to "avoid the Rocks. Nothing but thieves, pickpockets and hippys there, mate."

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Therbs mutters...

Posted June 11, 2013

But aren't we gonna get giant robots to fight the Abbott monster? I WAS PROMISED GIANT ROBOTS!!!

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted June 12, 2013

I tend to agree that giant robots improve just about everything.

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cycloniq asserts...

Posted June 11, 2013

So let me get this right, minty has Rudd as the devil's tutor, but uses a quote from Mark Latham. Calls the burbs witless, but veges out in front of the "Game of thrones". I can see why Rudd to exception to him/her, I don't suffer idiots either!

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Dino not to be confused with has opinions thus...

Posted June 11, 2013

http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/political-news/women-banished-under-abbott-pm-20130611-2o1hc.html

Right,

So it is about women now?

And abortion rights?

What about the vote? That'll be taken away girls!

You'll lose your right to vote!

Go get a pedicure and spread the news!

Gravity is 'STUPID AND WRONG"!

Dino not to be confused with mumbles...

Posted June 11, 2013

And you know that Shorten doesn't believe in The Theory of Gravity dontcha?

Either that or he is an imbecile who should have failed his High School Certificate! Science and English!

Well forget about the science! Parlo Ingliese? Un Po Povero.

So many veteran Labour Prty members left or leaving.

An infected ship of Fools.

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David S. asserts...

Posted June 11, 2013

I've had the same feeling about Kevin for some time now -- the fact that no matter how dire things look for the ALP, and how many polls say Kevin's their one hope of salvation, they keep not reappointing him leader. Why? Well, they've actually worked with him whereas we voters have only his PR-polished public persona to go on. That makes me think he can't be the jolliest guy to have for a boss; in fact, given the number of gold-plated political animals, opportunists and total arseholes in the parliamentary ALP, he's gotta be something really special in the a-hole stakes to earn that much self-destructive dislike from them.

And then Mark bloody Latham stands up and starts bucketing him! Holy Jebus, if the biggest arsehole in living ALP memory hates him maybe Kevin ain't so bad after all...

Dino not to be confused with swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 11, 2013

Davids,

Yeah remember he said that Bush was the most 'dangerous President' in History the he bent over with the Stars and Stripes behind him to 'elucidate'.

Little dog syndrome. All bark. Unless you're a taxi Driver.

Then he'll break your arm. Unless you're a US taxi Driver. Then he'll give you a back rub.

Too much 'tude' not enough integrity.

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ShaneAlpha mutters...

Posted June 11, 2013

The way Labor is rolling at the moment Julia could announce that every Australian is getting a million dollars each, then step off the podium and squash a puppy. It's heartbreaking.( Abbot would, of course, eat the puppy,but only when no one was watching).

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted June 11, 2013

Rofl.

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MickH has opinions thus...

Posted June 11, 2013

I was neither here nor there with the comment up antil he bagged swinging voters. What the fuck does being an indepent thinker when it comes to voting have to do with Rudd?

Well I/ve been a swing voter for years and years and will continue to vote for people who I think will do the best for me and my country. Its not a fucking football team thing Minty.

And for the record, I wouldn't vote for Rudd in a fit and neither would many of my swinging voter mates.

Personally i think I will have to focus on local issues this year and neither party nor the wannabe's do anything for me. And why isn't there any new socialist parties? We really need one. You can have all the fucking righties like Catter and the bored billioniare.

Ippy Percival reckons...

Posted June 11, 2013

"Swinging voters"... "indepent thinker".

That's hilarious, Mick. One of the funniest things I have seen you write.

Ippy Percival puts forth...

Posted June 11, 2013

Sorry... that wasn't really called for and I apologise in case it causes offense... but you must see those two sentences make a non sequitur.

Anyhow.

Seriously I don't see myself forgiving the ALP for bringing about an Abbott govt. I appreciate the eye on the policy reform agenda they've pushed, I really do, and maybe that makes it an essentially unsolvable problem (doing really beneficial stuff and getting re-elected). I don't buy the "incompetence" accusations because conservatives ALWAYS call stuff they have an ideological objection to incompetent (Keynes was discredited doncha know). But I can and will blame them for not taking the fight to the bastards, ramming the policy success down Abbotts glistening, sweaty throat.

MickH is gonna tell you...

Posted June 11, 2013

I don't understand Ippy. If you are independent in your voting how is that not independent thinking? If your great granddaddy voted for Labour and your grandaddy voted for labour and your daddy votes for labour and you sure as hell vote for labour then that makes you a brain dead drone and shouldn't be hanging shit on someone who can make orginal thoughts and opinions

Ippy Percival swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 11, 2013

Mick, I already decided not to go there, but I don't think your way of characterising "independent thought" is very much like mine. You're talking about rolling a dice and then voting based on the phase of the moon.

Dino not to be confused with mutters...

Posted June 11, 2013

What MickH said at the beginning.

Except I am not an "indepent thinker".

I think alone

Dino not to be confused with would have you know...

Posted June 11, 2013

What MickH said at the beginning.

Except I am not an "indepent thinker".

I think alone

w from brisbane asserts...

Posted June 13, 2013

I reckon independent thinkers who are want good government should all be voting for the Labor Party.
Observing human history, countries seem to go better if there is a change in government about once a decade and there is a strong opposition.
The Lib/Nat Coalition will be the new government, and I think the time is about right. Yes, unfortunately Abbott thinks and speaks as if he has a low I.Q. Maybe it was the boxing. But, he will be Prime Minister. That box is ticked. The task of independent thinker, I reckon, is to tick the second box. To try to deliver some sort of opposition.

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Ippy Percival ducks in to say...

Posted June 11, 2013

I don't think I'm quite ready to face the idea of an Abbott government. My cousin tells me he's made it through the 7 stages of grief to acceptance, but I'm not there yet. I don't give a fuck about whether GIllard or Rudd leads the ALP, though it does seem to me that Rudd was more about symbol and the flash and bang of spectacle, while Gillard is more about rolling up your sleeves and doing the policy work and trying to get it right. Sure, it's been crippled by a negative opposition. But it's a mistake to pretend that is anything new.

Australian conservative oppositions have ALWAYS cast Labor governments as illegitimate in some way. [rant elided... too little or too much? could never do the subject justice in finite space]

To me the central point of an Abbott govt will be an extraordinary intellectual cowardice, based around a set of ideological convictions, leading to an unwillingness to consider any issue on its own merits in terms of outcomes and evidence.

S.M. Stirling swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 13, 2013

"unwillingness to consider any issue on its own merits"

-- dude, what you're saying is that the other guy has an ideological agenda, but you just judge things rationally and objectively.

Pardon me while I rupture myself laughing.

Dude, politics is nothing but ideological agendas. Google "confirmation bias".

Nobody reasons to a political conviction; they pick their destination due to subconscious emotional needs and then dream up reasons for it.

Reason is just emotion's bitch.

In other words, all you or anyone else has is an opinion when values or identity are in question (which is what politics are all about), and an opinion is like an arsehole: everyone's got one, few bear close examination.

So where is truth? Answer: there isn't any! It's opinions and arseholes and arseholes with opinions all the way down.

w from brisbane has opinions thus...

Posted June 13, 2013

"politics is nothing but ideological agendas."

Don't think so. Unless, pride and greed, our old friends that motivate us all, count as ideological convictions. A lot of motivations are purely careerist or just wanting to beat the people on the other team.
Hopefully, there is some truth in the aim of the greatest good for the greatest number. Or, the greatest good for the greatest number of your key backers.
However, the Liberal/National coalition is stymied by ideological right wing biases.
The Labor Party is stymied by having no ideological convictions. The Labor Party is a strange dysfunctional grouping of people who are not in the Liberal/National coalition.

damian is gonna tell you...

Posted June 13, 2013

"You're saying is that the other guy has an ideological agenda, but you just judge things rationally and objectively."

Actually I'm not saying that at all. I can't claim never to drift into that sort of statement-- and I think anyone who does make such a claim is kidding themselves. But it is also something I try to be pretty sensitive to, more so than (I think) most, certainly most here.

There are actually evidence based approaches to public policy, where people use science and the intellectual tradition to weigh options in terms of outcomes. They exist for all sorts of policy areas including ones that are non-controversial and typically non-political in many jurisdictions. In the case of some areas (gun laws for instance) they are non-controversial in many places but remain very controversial in some places.

At this point in history in Australian politics the mainstream of the conservative side take a position that is slightly stronger than they historically have. There are many services that provide some sort of public good, in which various levels of government are involved, and many private sector organisations are involved. To me the sensible approach to service delivery is evidence based and should be about what delivers the level of service to the community that it thinks it should have, both in terms of being able to afford it and in terms of managing it effectively. The best answer is usually some kind of mix between public and private organisations, working together to achieve positive outcomes. Both sides of politics here have traditionally seen things this way. At the moment the conservative side take an ideological position (based in the roots of neo-liberalism in moral philosophy) that if a service can be provided by the private sector, it should be, and the level and quality of the service are irrelevant. In general a service shouldn't exist at all if someone isn't making money from it.

I think you're saying that differing from that ideological position is itself an ideological position. I disagree. I would suggest that an old-school leftie who thinks all services should be provided by government has the opposite ideological position that you are looking for there. I also think that the hard-bitten people who spend their time at the pointy end of service delivery have a view that is somewhat more relevant and interesting than any cheap relativism some armchair stormtropper has pulled from his own arsehole. And that is to put it rather mildly.

S.M. Stirling mutters...

Posted June 14, 2013

I think you're saying that differing from that ideological position is itself an ideological position.

-- yeah, and I'm right, too. I'm saying that there isn't anything but ideological positions when it comes to deciding what to want.

What you're complaining about is that there used to be an ideological consensus with which you basically agreed, and arguments were about details, but now there isn't, and you have to see your side trampled in the dirt if they lose an election.

You can't see your own assumptions; they're like water to a fish. They're just so obviously... true. How could anyone who isn't stupid, ignorant, evil or fanatical disagree?

Eg., you're assuming that it's just "reasonable" and "reality-based" to care most about, say, parcel delivery.

But it isn't. It's just your priorities, set by your ideological agenda. Other people care more about other things. Set by their agendas.

You can prove that a diesel engine gets better mileage. You can't prove that wanting A is "better" than wanting B. Wants just are.

What you care about is precisely your ideology.

Which is fair enough; everyone's got one. But don't try to privilege yours. It ain't a hegemonic metanarrative.

And a service provider cares about service provision above all other things. What a surprising coincidence!

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan puts forth...

Posted June 14, 2013

"You can't see your own assumptions"

Yes I can.

I can also see auras.

damian ducks in to say...

Posted June 18, 2013

I'm sorry, did I say cheap relativism? I was clearly being too polite.

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Blarkon has opinions thus...

Posted June 11, 2013

On current polling, the ALP will be returned with less seats in parliament than Whitlam's ALP was in 1975 (they won 36 - which is about where Anthony Green's Election Calculator puts the ALP in line for today given the current 2PP split) - when the parliament was 23 seats. 36 seats in a 127 seat parliament was tragic. 36 seats in a 150 seat parliament is .... well at least Kevin isn't PM. That's the important thing.

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ShaneAlpha reckons...

Posted June 11, 2013

Is it wrong of me to dream of founding the Australian SuperVillain Party?

Seriously, any time the muck raking Murdoch drones dig up anything bad I simply point to the party name and say "It does what it says on the box."

ShaneAlpha mutters...

Posted June 11, 2013

And I will take platform suggestions people!

for example.

The Office of Prime Mininster will be changed to Evil Overlord.

Parlimentarians will be changed to Minions

Obviously a giant Death Ray will be in the budget.

Cool Hi-Tech looking uniforms for everyone!

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted June 14, 2013

I like this idea. But my own bitter experience with a similar idea may provide you with the success that eluded me.

Ten years ago I filled out all the paper work necessary to launch the American Super Villain political party. At first things were really great. Sure, it appealed to patriotic super villains, but the concept also spoke to the average punter who, deep down, was a super villain at heart.

Then came the convention where nominating party leaders headed the agenda. Well, you can imagine the in fighting, back stabbing, poisoning, death rays, earthquake machines and nuclear blackmail that ensured. It was a catastrophe.

Don't let that happen to you. If you start an Australian Super Villain political party, make sure you control the party structure and nominating mechanism so that the party itself is a straw man for your personal megalomaniacal ambitions. After all, there can only be one, eh?

Good luck, mate. I'll let you borrow one of my death rays if you need one ( and who doesn't these days?).

Respond to this thread

Rhino is gonna tell you...

Posted June 11, 2013

I was going to toss some ignorant Seppo trolling into the mix but you lot are doing just fine on your own.

Therbs has opinions thus...

Posted June 12, 2013

Troll as much as you like in Seppo voice Rhino as long as you lot ship us some GIANT ROBOTS!!!

Rhino is gonna tell you...

Posted June 12, 2013

Oh, YEAH ... SURE ... NOW it's "Oh, Mr. Seppo puhhhleassse ship us some nice shiny giant killer robots, pretty please with cream on top." But any other time, when you don't want anything, it's all Seppo Imperialism and Seppo Ignorance and Seppo Bombast and all of that folderol.

Well, you know what you get now? NOTHING. We're keeping all of the giant robots to ourselves. Maybe Canada will get some. Sure, they're remnants of the same depleted empire but they know their place as America' Hat. And they're clean. And polite.

I've been doing some research and my considered opinion regarding your near future political prospects are as follows: You are fucked.

NBlob reckons...

Posted June 12, 2013

The Rhino is as wise as he is muscular.

We are indeed fucked.

Ippy Percival would have you know...

Posted June 12, 2013

I certainly can't fault his logic.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted June 13, 2013

The Rhino does not speak for the entire seppo nation. Let it be known far and wide that a growing seppo majority stands arm in arm, shoulder to shoulder, and proclaims "no giant robots for Canada, either!"

Fuck Canada. No national cuture is that polite. They are hiding something.

And their bacon is just weird.

NBlob would have you know...

Posted June 13, 2013

Like you mob are some kind of authorities on bacon.

Or should I say dessicated, salted, processed & reconstituted crinkly wafers, painted with irregular patterns and lightly flavoured with SoCal's version of non carcinogenic, fair-trade smoke flavour. Both Kosher & Halal as has never been within 30 miles of a pig.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted June 13, 2013

Yes. And lovely with reconstituted crinkly SoCal eggs.

damian would have you know...

Posted June 13, 2013

I for one would like to welcome our new whoever-has-the-giant-robots ignorant seppo troll overlords.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted June 14, 2013

That would be me, Damian. I accept your welcome, but seek your worship.

Respond to this thread

Brother PorkChop is gonna tell you...

Posted June 12, 2013

So, Xbox One or PS4? And why. I need a new console.

Rob is gonna tell you...

Posted June 12, 2013

well back to important things. I want a PS4 but my wife said the ps3 is so good we don't need a new one. I disagree, but only because I love new shiny things. Ps4 would be a full expanse of awesome and Sony seem to treat their customers really well and don't make them pay for services which are basically marketing.

I wonder however , what would Kevin do?

Respond to this thread

JBtoo is gonna tell you...

Posted June 12, 2013

The thought of an Abbot government makes me shudder, but I think we're going to get one and maybe it's the reality check the dickhead voters of Australia need, because you know folks - he won't stop the boats, he will screw over workers - especially low-income earners - and he will renege on his promises.
And maybe the ALP needs the clean-out that will come with a rout - get some fresh blood in, instead of the party hacks that have fkd everything up. Yeah, I know, I'm dreaming - Feeney for Batman anyone? But it's dream or despair.

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HAVOCK21 mutters...

Posted June 12, 2013
WOW...like....FKN WOW!!!

Somebody explain where the fkn BOLD and Italic buttons have fkn gone will ya.

As for what I have just read here, knowing I will never be able to make up that lost time now, I will simply say!

THANK FK SHE AINT GUNNA BE PM AGAIN!, the barrel of putid septic like stinking turd burgled fkn shit that the ALP is mired in is of their own collective making.

K RUD needs to be PUT DONW like the rabid fkn dog it is ( figuratively speaking I mean ) as he is bending over the ALP with NO LUBE, the blokes a fkn EGO MANIC FFSAKES, talk about tickets by the fkn truck load on himself. I'm not really sure that ABBOTOBAD is BADDER!!! than K SPUD to be honest, the latter is almost a fruit fkn loop

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MarkM has opinions thus...

Posted June 13, 2013

As far as I'm concerned, both the ALP and the LNP are as bad as each other.
The late run Kevin appears to be making is desperation personified. His toxicity knows no bounds. But Abbott is the real worry. He is going to push his conservative religious agenda as far to the right as he can. And MSM will be right there, pushing along side him. It is a truly frightening prospect.

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Respond to 'Comment of the Year'

A lady driving the Tardis?

Posted June 6, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

I can't believe this is even a thing. I thought it was just one of those jokes like the perennial call for 007 to be be played by an African American or an Innuit lady-boy.

But no. It's a thing.

At Blunty.

I got the idea for today's blog, not so much from the small burble of pop culture mavens burbling away at the idea of stripping just a little more cultural significance from the white anglo male, but from the protests in Turkey. There's an image gone viral in that part of the world, a young woman being pepper-sprayed by a riot cop.


It's become a rallying totem for anti government protestors. One of the images adapted from it really struck me.

There's something very obviously powerful in the contrast between the quaint, rather old fashioned figure she cuts here, and the seried ranks of human automata facing her. Quaint but powerful is a very Whovian motif, of course, and I could easily imagine those riot cops replaced by Daleks or Cybermen.

Hence today's Blunty..

47 Responses to ‘A lady driving the Tardis? ’

ChrisB asserts...

Posted June 6, 2013

Kinda reminds me of the whole 'first female Star Trek' captain debate from a few years back or the 'Starbuck's a girl' from the BSG re-boot. Both worked themselves out just fine, but if JJ's ST reboot had floated the idea that Kirk would be a woman, the scream from fans would have outdone Shatner's in Wrath of Khan. I think Doc should be a man. If you want to explore a female doc, feel free to have another TimeLord show up.

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Rhino mutters...

Posted June 6, 2013

Commented on Blunty. HAVOCK mode was engaged.

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted June 6, 2013

And an excellent comment it was.

Jayanthi's Atomic Cat has opinions thus...

Posted June 8, 2013

LOL Rhino!

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pitpat is gonna tell you...

Posted June 6, 2013

But a handbag or shopping bag? I dunno.

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted June 6, 2013

She gotta keep that sonic nail file somewhere.

Bangar reckons...

Posted June 6, 2013

That'd be sonic lipstick JB, pioneered by the original SJS.

Respond to this thread

Conspiracy Cat mutters...

Posted June 6, 2013

One word: SheZow.

Barnesm mumbles...

Posted June 6, 2013

Was fun to watch the complaints about that one.

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Trowzers would have you know...

Posted June 6, 2013

I think River Song showed us what a female Time Lord could be like - and I think she's pretty neat. My only issue is that they'd have to find another person just as awesome as Alex Kingston to pull it off properly, and there just aren't that many people like that.

There's really no reason why the Doctor can't be a girl (gender swapping Timelords are already canon - aka The Corsair), except that it either makes some people feel icky, or they just can't imagine it, or that's *just not how it's done* and all those arguments are just too close to the argument against gay marriage for my liking. Get out of your rut, people! The history of the TV show already shows they can screw it up even when they choose a male Doctor, why not open the books to allow them to choose someone AWSM regardless of race or gender? That they actually be AWSM is my only rule - no choosing a chicky Who just because they want to show how progressive and cool they are. Make sure they have the right actor in place before they choose what gender the new Doc is going to be.

Dino not to be confused with swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 6, 2013

Trowzers,

Ya can't go and compare Doctor Who and the gender argument to Gay Marriage! Ewww. It is just not done!

And also the use of the word 'Chicky' is sexist.

Please use 'ChickyBabe' from now on if you want to be taken seriously.

Jayanthi's Atomic Cat puts forth...

Posted June 8, 2013

Dino, this ChickyBabe is letting you know that if you want to see the full-on "Why the Doctor can't be female" based purely on the same-sex marriage argument, it's high up in the Blunty comments. And I think it's exactly the sort of stuff Trowz was referring to, I would think. But, like, way worse. I don't think Trowz was in favour of that argument, btw.

And I agree with the Alex Kingston comment, Trowzers.

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beeso ducks in to say...

Posted June 6, 2013

If its not Philip Glenister playing Gene Hunt playing Doctor Who then i'm not interested.

Spanner mutters...

Posted June 6, 2013

Fire up the Tardis doesn't have the same ring to it as "Fire up the Quattro"

Respond to this thread

Blarkon is gonna tell you...

Posted June 6, 2013

River Song was arse compared to Romana and Romana II.

I like that people assume that the Doctor, being Gallifreyan, has a dick.

It's interesting that the same people who say "ZOMG Female Doctor Teh Awsm" get giddy with anger if you suggest a male Buffy. (changes to both alter the fundamental dynamic and audience expectation of the character. It shouldn't matter, but to the audience it does).

Caitlin in the Wave Trilogy would be less awsm if she was a bloke. Buffy would be less awsm if she was a bloke. Laura Roslin would be less awsm if she was a bloke. The Doctor would be less awsm if he wasn't.

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted June 6, 2013

I believe I made this very point on teh Twitterz. It was roundly ignored.

Blarkon puts forth...

Posted June 6, 2013

There is certainly a push away from traditional hero archetypes.

However unless the hypothesis "men like aspirational archetypes, women like relatable archetypes" doesn't hold water, there's only so far you can push it before you get out of the audience's zone of acceptable disbelief.

Ripley works because she's a believable character. Batman works because he's not. Nick Hornby said something along the lines of "almost every guy believes deep down, if he'd just grown up under the right circumstances, that he could be The Batman and that women are more grown up and accept that Batman is comic book bullshit"

Ippy Percival asserts...

Posted June 9, 2013

I've said before that I think Carrot is the sort of hero men aspire to be, whie Vimes is one they relate to, identify with. That got a bit blurred with the whole "Vimes is invincible" theme that emerged from Fifth Elephent on, but even so -- maybe that is the sort of mechanism you're talking about, my scaly friend.

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Lulu swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 6, 2013

Male Buffy would contradict *Whedon's* intentions in creating the character, not just the audience expectations.

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Blarkon swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 6, 2013

And a female doctor wouldn't contradict the creator's intentions?

Lulu has opinions thus...

Posted June 6, 2013

I remember reading (can't find the quote, so I'm roughly paraphrasing) that he said he specifically wanted to play against expectations & tradition - in slasher movies the pretty teenage girl is usually the one getting slashed, not the one doing the ass-kicking. Kinda doesn't work if Buffy had been played by David Boreanaz & not SMG.

Jayanthi's Atomic Cat would have you know...

Posted June 9, 2013
And I think he still continues in that vein. Kaylee and Inara in Firefly/Serenity were kinda ' against type' as non-kickass female sf characters.

Allowing charactersto be themselves ...whoever they turn out to be... is the goal, right? The contrast of characters in Firefly,irrespective of gender, is what workd well.

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Murphy asserts...

Posted June 6, 2013

What?

They are making Dr. Who? episodes again? Frankly, I think it all went to shit after Peter Davidson left the series. If you wanted to be ballsy the time to have a Female Doctor would have been Doctor Number Six.

Instead we got Bozo the Clown or some shit.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

Barnesm is gonna tell you...

Posted June 6, 2013

They are making Dr. Who? episodes again?

Yes,

Yes they are.

Blarkon is gonna tell you...

Posted June 6, 2013

Colin Baker asserts that he wanted to play a darker Doctor, including a flowing black cape, and they dressed him up like an idiot. His son also died soon after he got the role, which didn't help with the other problems the series was experiencing back then.

w from brisbane ducks in to say...

Posted June 6, 2013

Tell me your favourite Dr Who, and I will tell you your age.......approximately.

Brother PorkChop asserts...

Posted June 6, 2013

Jon Pertwee

w from brisbane asserts...

Posted June 6, 2013

Brother Porkchop,

Jon Pertwee. Of course, those darned repeats can really throw out the modelling, but I would say your age starts with a 5.

Bangar asserts...

Posted June 6, 2013

Tom Baker is a favourite, but I'd say David Tenant is my favourite. I wonder if any one will mention Peter Cushing?

DILLIGAF reckons...

Posted June 6, 2013

Tossup between Pertwee and Baker. Probably Pertwee.

Ippy Percival puts forth...

Posted June 6, 2013

"...which didn't help with the other problems the series was experiencing back then" - Come on man, out with it, say the name of the "problems" aloud. John fucking Nathan fucking Turner! *spits*.

Barnesm ducks in to say...

Posted June 6, 2013

Sylvester McCoy

Murphy asserts...

Posted June 7, 2013

Peter Cushing was my first encounter with the Doctor, on Saturday Morning Sci-Fi Theater on Channel Five.

That said, Tom Baker.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

Brother PorkChop asserts...

Posted June 7, 2013

Close W, close, but it is a late 4. I remember lying on the floor with a cat for a pillow on cold wet Saturday afternoons watching Dr Who through my fingers for a scary bits. Then for some light relief following the Doctor, it was the Banana Splits and Danger Island. Good times.....

w from brisbane puts forth...

Posted June 7, 2013

Uh-oh, Chongo!

Jayanthi's Atomic Cat swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 8, 2013

Peter Davidson...that Black Orchid episode still brings a tear to me eye...

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Dilph swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 6, 2013

I still think the best new doctor - and I've been expounding this theory since Eccleston's run ended - would be Dylan Moran.

Surly, hungover irishman who leans heavily on a competent sidekick who can decipher his mutterings and save the day. And the sonic screwdriver isn't used as a bottle opener anywhere near often enough.

I can just picture him leaning against a wall, hungover as all hell, telling his assistant to turn the knob - no, no, the other knob - to make the god-forsaken caterwauling of the alarm sirens stop. And incidentally saving the day in the process.

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Blarkon ducks in to say...

Posted June 6, 2013

Someone suggested Tim Minchin as the next Doctor.

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yankeedog mumbles...

Posted June 6, 2013

Peter Cushing as my favorite Grand Moff Doctor. Bangar double-dog dared me.

Tom Baker for favorite Doctor.

I never thought much about the Timelord's gender; however, I notice the general trend is that he seems to generally be getting younger through his various regenerations. Next Doctor at this rate will be played by a twelve-year-old child actor.

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ShaneAlpha mutters...

Posted June 6, 2013

The Doctor wants to be a ginger.

I vote for Rupert Grint as the next Doctor.

Respond to this comment

Murphy mumbles...

Posted June 7, 2013

Let's be honest though, isn't the gender flipping so cliche? Almost so 2003?

Why not make the Doctor transgendered or something? More to the point, why does there have to be a male/female distinction at all?

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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Jayanthi's Atomic Cat mutters...

Posted June 9, 2013
I'm with Murph. Really, the Doctor, at least to my recollection, has always been a white Caucasian male with a pommy accent. We could equally ask why he has never been a non-caucasian man.

And my better half has exhorted me not to forget the Doctor-Donna thing.

If any of this is nonsensical its the stoopid phone again

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted June 9, 2013

That's some impressive last minute commenting Jay'

Ippy Percival swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 9, 2013

Which reminds me that Catherine Tate would be pretty amazingly awesome (and the ret-conning would be beautifully hideous).

Ippy Percival has opinions thus...

Posted June 9, 2013

And by sheer fluke, I am just now seeing Tim Minchin on the TV singing 'Only a ginger can call another ginger ginger'.

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Jayanthi's Atomic Cat mumbles...

Posted June 9, 2013
Obama for the next Doctor, I say!

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Respond to 'A lady driving the Tardis? '

The Blunty I almost wrote

Posted May 21, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Todays blog over at BT was an attempt to have a bit of fun with a dodgy bit of research about racism. Nothing could go wrong with that, eh?

It was my second choice of topic, but got moved up because of the clickbait potential. What I had been thinking of writing was a stirling defence of Dave Warner's freedom to call a News Ltd dick a News Ltd dick.

Warner's been in trouble since letting loose on the twitterz, early morning his time, somewhere in India, and having a red hot go at Robert Craddock and Malcolm Conn, cricket writers for Lord Rupert. Warner was pissed, pretty reasonably I reckon, at his photo being used in a story about IPL cheats. No reason to use his photo. He's not a cheat. Some photo editor just liked the image, I guess. But Warner, woken at omigod-thirty in the AM about it went nuclear on Craddock and Conn.

They hit back, as you do, but he's the one in the shit because he's 'a public figure' and a representative of Australian cricket.

So now he has the chance to be doubly pissed off with that story because he's getting hauled up before the discipline master at CA for being rude to journalists in public.

Fuck that. Those two need to grow a thicker skin, as no doubt they tell every player they write about.

Anyway, that's what I was going to do today. Before I got distracted by derp.

35 Responses to ‘The Blunty I almost wrote’

beeso asserts...

Posted May 21, 2013

First of all, sure he can go ballistic about the pic being used, but surely just about every sportsman has a basic level of knowledge that a writer doesn't pick the photo or headline.

Secondly, Craddock and Conn have fuck all to do with the CA discipline. That will be cause CA had warner down as a potential leader and leaders don't usually have a whine on twitter after a thousand beers in a corrupt pointless comp in india.

Lastly, his actions actually reinforced what Craddock wrote, which is that no cricketer comes back from the IPL a better player, technically, fitness wise or mentally.

albion love den asserts...

Posted May 21, 2013
Agree with you entirely, Beeso.

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w from brisbane mutters...

Posted May 21, 2013

Another storm in a groin cup.

There was implied criticism of Warner's morals. Who's going to like that?
Warner says he is pissed off. Actually, we assumed that.

Robert Craddock said he has no complaints, particularly as he has spent decades trying to get cricketers to speak their mind,

Matthew Conn went into bat for his mate, Craddock. But it was all pretty mild stuff.

Nothing new here. When I next meet with my sports obsessed pals, I am confident that this will not be mentioned. It will not be of interest.

The media will invest it with false significance to create easy content.

But, Cricket Australia will have to act because of corporate image issues, like any business. Little in this story, but what if a drunken cricketer tweeted something really inappropriate in an attempt to be witty while in foreign climes.
Could be very serious. Twitter does have a potential for trouble that is highlighted by this bit of nothing. For example, tweet about the Thai Royal family in Thailand and you might be in a lot of trouble.

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Barnesm puts forth...

Posted May 21, 2013

"for being rude to journalists in public" isn't that what parliement house is for?

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Darth Greybeard puts forth...

Posted May 21, 2013

"sterling" defence. Just sayin'.

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John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted May 21, 2013

Yeah yeah yeah. Everyone is keen to hook into Warner, but nobody is paying any attention to the circumtances uner which this news came to his attention and he went ballistic. He gets woken in the small hours of the morning by a mate telling him he's been featured in a story on cheating.

Wake me up at 2AM and tell me the Oz has splashed my image across a story about plagiarism and see what happens.

Or Dr Yobbo in a story about scientific fraud. Or Beeso in a story about farmers who lie about being organic.

Or whatever your particular bag is.

The human response is to go apeshit. Sure, after an hour so you might want to calm down. And by the time the sun comes up you need to be making your apologies (and, incidentally, accepting one from Rupert).

But nobody really bothered factoring in why he'd gone off. The story, especially in News Ltd, was about the twitter rant. The first couple of stories I read made it look like he'd gone berserk at some simple criticism of his form. Now that would be wrothy of a disciplinary hearing.

I just think someone in the media needed to take an opposing view to the lynch mob.

w from brisbane swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 21, 2013

You wanted to take an opposing view, but THEY stopped you.
It's a CONSPIRACY, I tells ya!

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beeso mutters...

Posted May 21, 2013

Someone in the media did, Craddock himself said he understood why Warner was upset. Nothing wrong with the response from the guy, but a smarter player would've done it a different way, as the panel suggested on Offsiders.

Be pretty easy to give an interview to a fairfax journo and have a crack than through twitter.

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted May 21, 2013

Yes it would, but at 2 in the morning I don't know that we can expect him to be thinking that cooly.

John Birmingham ducks in to say...

Posted May 21, 2013

What he probably shold have done was instructed his lawyers to sue for deffo. News would have settled for 20-50K. They've done it before.

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w from brisbane swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 21, 2013

In a nice counterpoint to the Blunty you wrote, some of the criticism of Warner has been along the lines of, what would you expect of a bogan.
Bogan bashing, seems to be becoming a safe place for those you like to demean others based upon ignorant stereotype.

w from brisbane reckons...

Posted May 21, 2013

Correction:
Bogan bashing, seems to be becoming a safe place for those who like to demean others based upon ignorant stereotype.

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Quokka would have you know...

Posted May 21, 2013

I expect mannners, grace and poise from Bogans.

Invariably I am disappointed.

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theangrywarden puts forth...

Posted May 21, 2013

I'm not aware of any complaint made to CA by the journalists (correct me if I'm wrong). This is CA acting off it's own bat (thanks again, Pun-o-Matic), so telling the journos to grow a thicker skin is misguided.

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Indolent has opinions thus...

Posted May 21, 2013

However tempting it is to use this opportunity to disparage News Ltd, it's not Craddock and Conn you should be having a go at. As I understand it they have not complained about the matter. It's those sanctimonious arbiters of proper behavior, Cricket Australia, who are the freedom of speech villans in this piece.

Warner had every right to twitter away. I would have done the same thing. CA has no right to punish him for excercising that right.

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Anthony swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 21, 2013

You won't get much respons to your racism story over at The Age. Comments aren't enabled and the link to the Blunty articles on the National Times page still shows the CWA story. Someone over there doesn't like you...

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted May 21, 2013

More likely, somebody over there hasn't had their breakfast donut yet.

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Brother PorkChop swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 21, 2013

Would have preferred the Warner story maybe with a comment from Warnie regarding the pros and cons of Twitter v Texting.

As for racism, no thanks but yes I am at times. is it racist or just intolerant to dislike all black fans?

theangrywarden asserts...

Posted May 21, 2013

It's DEFINITELY racist to dislike all black fans. DislikingAll Blacks fans is probably ok though...

Brother PorkChop swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 22, 2013

Laziness on my part. And perfectly correct, yes, All Balck fans.

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Matt swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 21, 2013

The Craddock story was quite brave and sensible and it's target was quite obviously crooked IPL shadeys and loose BCCI dingbatters regardless if any accompanying picture.

Warner needn't have said boo.

But I guess he ain't that kinda guy. Discerning, that is.

If he wanted to isolate himself from the dodgy IPL tar brush, Twitter wasn't ever going to help.

As with his batting, suspect young Dave swung first, thought nil.

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BigWillieStyle puts forth...

Posted May 21, 2013

One of Conn's (or was it Craddock?) assertions was that no player comes back from the IPL a better cricketer, and finds it difficult to translate skills honed in T20 into the Test arena. This argument assumes that every IPL player regards Test cricket as the pinnacle of their sport. I'd argue that very few of them do. If a player is receiving $750k for a few weeks' work in a T20 competition that doesn't mean anything, why wouldn't they prioritise it over Test cricket? Just because the likes of Conn and Craddock get all misty-eyed about Test cricket doesn't mean Warner, or indeed any player, has to. They're the ones playing the game, surely they have the right to forge their career in the manner of their choosing.

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted May 21, 2013

Zactly.

JBtoo mutters...

Posted May 21, 2013

If Warner doesn't rate test cricket he shouldn't be playing it. Indeed, one could argue on his recent form, he shouldn't be playing it.

Jayanthi's Atomic Cat ducks in to say...

Posted May 21, 2013
Is there some analogy here to the Dan Brown thread? He's playing the game, and forging his career in a manner of his own choosing...for lots of money and damn the critics! Are literary novels and test cricket a fair comparison? <sticks out tongue>

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Hewy has opinions thus...

Posted May 21, 2013

I reckon the issue is that no one is taking Conn to task on this...

So, Craddock writes a dark piece on the underbelly of the IPL which tangentially links Dave Warner.

Then, Warner fires up on twitter at Craddock regarding the suggestion he is involved, using some choice language.

And then, Conn jumps in with a nasty comment to Warner. In the cold light of day, Conn's nasty comment can be seen purely and simply as flamebait. Warner wasn't targeting Conn and his problem was with Crash's article. Conn's troll achieved it's aim: fired up Warner and put Conn in the news and got him to appear gracious by suggesting he likes it when cricketers speaks their mind.

Whislt trolling like that is to be expected across the internet, for one of the key sports writers in that organisation, such trolling just leaves a nasty taste in the mouth. Especially when he wasn't actually involved in the "story", but did it to place himself in the middle of the story - and effectively change the story. Not sure I call that journalism.

John Birmingham mutters...

Posted May 21, 2013

That is one of the most interesting reads of this story I've yet seen. Hadn't thought about it from that angle, but find it hard to disagree.

w from brisbane asserts...

Posted May 21, 2013

These people travel the world together. They often stay at the same hotel. It was not an exchange between strangers.

I don't think Conn trolled. He just fired up when he felt his mate and profession was copping a serve. A fair exchange. I think Occam's razor works with this one.

Hewy would have you know...

Posted May 21, 2013

I'm not really saying that there was a complex masterplan from Conn, just that he sent a nasty 'play the man' tweet which essentially flipped the whole story. He would have certainly hoped for some reaction, but he couldn't have dreamed for it to play out any better for him (and the Oz).

I reckon a journo rattling the cage when they can sniff a story satisfies Occam's razor :-)

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Therbs would have you know...

Posted May 21, 2013

Craddock and Conn should have not engaged. As journalists they were better off letting their columns do the talking. Classless, by all parties.

w from brisbane mumbles...

Posted May 21, 2013

And hooray for that!, because Australia is a classless society.

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Jayanthi's Atomic Cat reckons...

Posted May 21, 2013
Just enjoyin' chillin' in the spiritual hot tub...Peace, y'all.

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted May 21, 2013

The spiritual hot tub is one warm motherfuckin karmic bath.

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wonk_arama ducks in to say...

Posted May 22, 2013

A story about corruption in the IPL and critical of 'the behavour of a young Australian player in India' has shot of Warner. Warner is not mentioned by name but it's not hard to to think that people might draw a connection from the juxtaposition.

Warner's reaction has cost him $5,750. Poorly handled by him in the way he went about it but does he have no right of reply? Is suing for defamation his only option? CA are quick to ping a player for bringing the game into disrepute, what of a lazy News outlet? Has not the image of the game in Australia been damaged by the imputation in the original story? Warner is a marketing image for CA shouldn't they be complaining if an asset is dinged? Yeah, yeah I know.

Not a fan of either Journo's efforts as I find their analysis pedestrian and, in the case of Craddock, just plain poor writing. Sports people are well paid certainly but are easy marks for lazy journos. Conn saw a chance for a cheap headline and took it.

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Danger. Manflu

Posted May 9, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

13 Responses to ‘Danger. Manflu’

w from brisbane asserts...

Posted May 9, 2013

This whole female anti-male thing. It is simple penis envy.
That right, penis envy.
I see it all the time. Particularly, when I wander past the line outside the ladies toilet at large public events.
Oh, how you ladies wish you could pee standing up.
.

DrYobbo is gonna tell you...

Posted May 9, 2013

Have seen some have a crack at it. No, not on German speaking corners of the interweb. Big Days Out and the likes often used to see lasses aplenty taking over the gents' cubicles in order to sidestep the queues for the ladies. One mate of mine was abused for daring to unzip the chopper and use the slashers while said femmes were queued past it. The temerity, etc.

w from brisbane would have you know...

Posted May 9, 2013

I have seen it too, Dr Yobbo.
Back in the glory days of the Regatta Hotel.
There I was at the urinal, when a disconcertingly incongrous shape moved into view beside me.
It was the lovely Melinda, who had bent over and backed up to the urinal. She then blithely lifted her skirt and very successfully used the facilities.
Oh, what a jolly night that was!

DrYobbo is gonna tell you...

Posted May 9, 2013

I miss the old 'Gatta. The new one is a gentrified monstrosity full of pointlessly shiny surfaces and pointlessly shiny people who all should have been left to drown in the last flood

w from brisbane mumbles...

Posted May 9, 2013

Yes, Dr Yobbo. I wander past the Regatta's famed old veranda. A place where I enjoyed so much louche hilarity. The epic raw egg eating competition between Scutter and Haggis. The sculling through your underpants games. So many stories. And now I see people drinking coffee. DRINKING COFFEE!
It's a travesty. I blame the younger generation and their strange lack of joie de vivre.

BigWillieStyle mumbles...

Posted May 9, 2013

"Gentrified monstrosity"

Indeed. The only time I've been involved in a fight* at a pub was at the Regatta in 1992. More specifically, just outside the Regatta. Three stupidly large and largely stupid fellows had been kicked out for being drunken groping fuckchops, and were in the mood to beat someone up. Turned out to be me. Looking at today's Regatta patrons, they'd be flat out mustering up a bit of feigned outrage. Pah! Bring out the old Brisbane pub violence, I say.

*More of a three-versus-one kicking than a fight

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jcdmusing ducks in to say...

Posted May 9, 2013

Some research reported earlier this year (http://www.smh.com.au/national/health/research-backs-up-man-flu-sufferers-20130125-2dc68.html) suggests that men have more temperature receptors in part of their brain and therefore suffer more when trying to fight off bugs. By the way did you go to the doctor and get something that may actually help, like Relenza ? Or did you just tough it out like a real man ?

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Lulu mumbles...

Posted May 9, 2013

Regarding the chosen illustratiion: I suspect that among ladies of a certain age, Sean Bean's man-flu might be regarded differently from regular man-flu, and there would be many prepared to offer tea & sympathy.

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HAVOCK21 asserts...

Posted May 9, 2013

Hey Bimingham, you also foregot to mention....Some men are man enough to not need the Flu jab, but when the MANFLU gets passed their highly developed fkn defences ITS FKN BAD. Only genetically aligned to women , MEN would need the FLU JAB that the women get too, pussies is another nale. BUt I put to you the question John. Have you ha d a flu shot??????????

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DrYobbo reckons...

Posted May 9, 2013

Tumbleweeds in the comments. Everyone must have died of teh killer manflooze

tqft puts forth...

Posted May 9, 2013

Nah we are out trekking on

HAVOCK21 asserts...

Posted May 9, 2013

i figured I had insulted most groups and MIGHT get a fews bites..MEH, not to be Doc

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Dino not to be confused with has opinions thus...

Posted May 10, 2013

JB,

Perhaps we could use discarded Flu Syringes as projectiles?

If I saw this floating above me I would call an emergency session of The Bounders Club.

Poor Kochie!

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-05-09/is-it-a-bird-is-it-a-plane-no-its-a-skywhale/4679676

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