Cheeseburger Gothic

Two questions about the Dad's Army reboot

Posted August 31, 2015 into Movies by John Birmingham

1. Why was I not told earlier?

2. Why is Britain still facing defeat in 1944?

11 Responses to ‘Two questions about the Dad's Army reboot’

trib ducks in to say...

Posted August 31, 2015
I'm not certain this was needed, but I'm happy it exists.

I'm also not certain Toby Jones can do pompous and self-inflated quite as well as Arthur Lowe did to carry off Captain Mainwaring.
The other casting decisions intrigue me.

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insomniac has opinions thus...

Posted August 31, 2015
Fucking earworm

Spanner puts forth...

Posted August 31, 2015
Damn you Insomniac! Damn you to heck! I didn't watch the video and now thanks to you I've got that theme song stuck in my brain.

insomniac would have you know...

Posted August 31, 2015
Hey I watched it with the volume off and still it got in.

All together now ... "Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler? ... "

Spanner is gonna tell you...

Posted August 31, 2015
Bastard

dweeze puts forth...

Posted August 31, 2015
When I was a wee one, I used to think that this went:
"Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Whitlam?"

I hope that the sleepless one has this one on high rotation earworm whilst the rest of us are snuggled up, dreaming of funny old duddies in khaki.

dweeze is gonna tell you...

Posted August 31, 2015
When I was a wee one, I used to think that this went:
"Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Whitlam?"

I hope that the sleepless one has this one on high rotation earworm whilst the rest of us are snuggled up, dreaming of funny old duddies in khaki.

GhostSwirv mutters...

Posted August 31, 2015

You sound like you're channelling One-Term Tony here Dweeze ... what wivv all the double-speak?

Canoli lead to someone's Downfall.

http://captiongenerator.com/56757/Border-Force-Operation-Racist-Derpitute-Downfall

dweeze is gonna tell you...

Posted September 1, 2015
Sorry, me browser had an e-fart.

Now I feel all unclean being compared with Tonya, and not in a mud bath @ Confest kinda way either.

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Sparty puts forth...

Posted September 1, 2015
You of all people should know that the Germans tried to invade in '44 (in an alternate time line ) but were repelled by Dads Army, Prince Harry and Viv Richards name sake?

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David S. has opinions thus...

Posted September 6, 2015
1. You were asleep and no one dared wake you. Sir.
2. Well they're still facing defeat in 2015 (according to Mr Murdoch's finest and UKIP) so '44 makes perfect sense don't you think?

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Star Trek: Renegades

Posted August 28, 2015 into Movies by John Birmingham

Another full length feature comes off the seemingly endless production line of semi-pro fan-made Star Trek films. This one features actors in character from some of the original series – Chekov and Tuvok somehow existing in the same timeline – and lots of cheeky little references which seem at times to stray off canon and into other story worlds.

It's all good. Some of the costuming, make up and set design is very obviously fan-made. And some of the CGI is better than anything we saw in the TV series.

You'll need to block out the whole evening or a slab of the weekend to enjoy it in one sitting.

4 Responses to ‘Star Trek: Renegades’

Murphy_of_Missouri puts forth...

Posted August 28, 2015
The FX/CGI guy is Tobias Richter and he is also doing the work for Star Trek: Axanar.

Chekov's scenes are fairly good but I feel like this script needed one more pass before the editors before they tried to film it.

John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted August 28, 2015
Reckon I'd agree with that.

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Sparty swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted August 28, 2015
Its Chekov / Bester!

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Barnesm has opinions thus...

Posted August 29, 2015
Its certainly a great fan movie, but I am really looking forward to <font color="#333333">Star Trek: Axanar. I imagine Paramount are watching this fan efforts closely. Torn between wanting it to generate the interest that the last film almost killed, and their instincts which is to squash any competition with their business.</font><font color="#333333">The wrap has a piece on the risk the producers of these ran made films are running.</font>

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The (ruder) DEADPOOL trailer

Posted August 6, 2015 into Movies by John Birmingham

Don't waste your time with that family friendly version. This is the sexdroid you're looking for.

15 Responses to ‘The (ruder) DEADPOOL trailer’

TheWah mutters...

Posted August 6, 2015
It actually looks good. I am hopeful.

The green band trailer is worth watching just for having deadpool admonish you for watching the nice trailer and daring you to watch the "big boy trailer".. he also denigrates your mum. yay!

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Murphy_of_Missouri would have you know...

Posted August 6, 2015
Worth.
The.
Wait!

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Rhino puts forth...

Posted August 6, 2015
Ryan Reynolds was born to play this.

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GhostSwirv has opinions thus...

Posted August 6, 2015

Am beginning to think that Green Lantern was deliberately and brilliantly sabotauged by some guerilla studio exec to allow Ryan Reynolds the opportunity to play DEADPOOL.

If GL had been a hit DP wouldn't now be making grown men wet their pants.

Mordwa ducks in to say...

Posted August 6, 2015
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xcMxnNzp2I
Sabotaged by Deadpool himself...

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ShaneAlpha swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted August 6, 2015
Why the fuck are you people not talking about the other awesome in the trailer. COLOSSUS. God I'm been waiting for Piotr to get a decent treatment.

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Sparty puts forth...

Posted August 6, 2015
Just had to gloat about the cricket right now :-)

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted August 7, 2015
What's a cricket?

GhostSwirv would have you know...

Posted August 7, 2015

Oh you won't believe what DEADPOOL does with a cricket!

Trashman is gonna tell you...

Posted August 8, 2015
Cricket.





...snigger...

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damian ducks in to say...

Posted August 6, 2015
I find this comics world diverging from anything I recognise faster than I'd imagine. But this thing looks cool in a mechanical, gory way.

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ChrisB is gonna tell you...

Posted August 7, 2015
To quote Star-Lord: a little pee just came out of me...

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Raymond Camden puts forth...

Posted August 7, 2015
The green band trailer also has his friend giving him different insults I think. Watch both. (Oh, and the older black woman has a different insult as well I think.)

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Peter in the bleaches would have you know...

Posted August 7, 2015
inthink I know where I will be on Boxing Day as there would appear to be no reason to watch the cricket this summer

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COHERENCE: the best SF movie you didn't see last year

Posted July 21, 2015 into Movies by John Birmingham

A sci-fi movie without space lizards, plasma cannons or giant robots, what's the fucking point? In Coherence the point was apparently to make the best sci-fi movie of 2014 with none of those things; no budget, no script, no big-name actors, nothing but an idea. And Xander from Buffy.

I finally caught up with this one over the weekend, having meant to watch it for a while. I heard it described recently as the best science-fiction movie you didn't see last year, and I got no argument with that call.

The setup is pretty simple. Eight friends, all of them comfortably Generation X (yay!), gather for a dinner party on the night a comet is due to make a close flyby. The comet isn't the reason for the dinner. This is just the first opportunity this group of friends has had to get together in a while. The light show in the sky is an added bonus.

The opening scenes where the various guests arrive at the party is an almost dizzying exercise in cinéma vérité. It feels like early Tarantino with multiple lines of overlapping dialogue snaking through and around each other. Unlike Tarantino's characters, however, the concerns around this dinner table are stolidly suburban. Children, jobs, middle-class ennui, shaky marriages, spluttering career paths, quiet desperation, all bundled up and swept under the carpet. The whole thing could play out like one of those films where people just sit around and talk for two hours. I think Jim Jarmusch made a career out of those. To make them work the dialogue has to be spot on, and in Coherence it is. Uncomfortably so at times.

The handheld camerawork, the intimacy, the completely natural feel of the opening scenes made it look like the most slickly produced reality programme ever made. I was kind of in awe of the actors being able to learn and carry off such dense, complex interplays of dialogue. I was even more impressed when I found out they improvised the whole thing. It’s a great performance and a lot of credit has to go to the editor as well for snipping out any dead spots.

That's all wanky film school talk though, innit? You want to know about the story. So at this point I have to blow the spoiler horn and blow it loud. I’ll keep the major plot points to myself, but those who want the pure experience should just go watch the damn thing before reading or commenting.

WHAAAAAHROOOOOO!!!

Coincident with the passing of the comet strange shit starts to happen. At first it’s cellphones inexplicably breaking or simply failing to power up. Then the fixed phone lines go down, and the Internet, and the power grid. Fans of horror movies will recognise what's happening immediately, even if the dinner guests take awhile to get around to it. They are being cut off, physically and narratively.

The dinner party is vaguely located somewhere in the affluent suburbs of the Pacific Northwest. Streets are quiet and tree-lined. The densely packed city, any city, seems far removed. It's plausible then that when the lights go out the world is plunged into a deep darkness, with only one point of light visible, another house a few minutes walk away. A couple of the men offer to go over and see if they can use the phone. Everything is fucked from that point on, but the fuckage happens so very gradually, so slowly, so completely and in such a bizarre fashion that even though hackles are crawling up the back of your neck, half of the dinner party guests are still arguing that everything is okay when it is totally fucking not.

What's going on? Aliens? Monsters? It feels like it, and there are some intensely creepy scenes as accepted reality begins to come apart. Even so, Coherence never cops out by devolving to a survivalist splatterfest.

It is a film which asks the sort of high concept questions not being asked by most speculative fiction on-screen. I rented it from iTunes, but have come to regret that decision because I can tell I'm going to have to go buy a copy so I can watch it again and again, trying to figure out not just what's going on, but the implications of what went on.

You would do yourself a disservice if you let this one slip past you.

19 Responses to ‘COHERENCE: the best SF movie you didn't see last year’

Spanner would have you know...

Posted July 21, 2015
Ok I'm on this. I loved Chappie. There should be more good SF about.

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Peter Bradley has opinions thus...

Posted July 21, 2015
I am so with you on this JB. I watched it on a plane. Luckily I was going to the EU so I watched it again straight away.
The thing that intrigued me most was not that amazing ending but the whole non-linear nature of the incidents.

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted July 21, 2015
I know. I really, really want to watch this again to see if I can unsort the through line and its implications. The bit where you realise that the characters you're watching may not be the characters you started watching wasn't just creepy. It was unnerving at an existential level.

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Barnesm reckons...

Posted July 21, 2015

great to see others whose opinions I share liked this movie. I caught it on Foxtel when it was free, as I am always interested to see what the Buffy alumni who didn't get other gigs with Joss Whedon are up to these days.

I liked it, don't know if it was the best Science fiction film in 2014 I didn't see because:

  • I saw it
  • by definition how could I know if other films I didn't see were better ?


Peter Bradley ducks in to say...

Posted July 22, 2015
There you go again Barnesm going all Karl Popper on us!

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Blarkon asserts...

Posted July 21, 2015
Did you ever get around to watching Primer?

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted July 21, 2015
No, but I've it mentioned in discussions of Coherence.

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HAVOCK21 puts forth...

Posted July 21, 2015
is there cylons i it?

Spanner is gonna tell you...

Posted July 21, 2015
More specifically is Six in it?

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HAVOCK21 would have you know...

Posted July 21, 2015
in it!...ffsakes!

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FormerlyKnownAsSimon is gonna tell you...

Posted July 21, 2015
Right. Duly noted. First time i have actually taken note of a spoiler warning. Although now i know there is a spoiler i have to resist it and now I know something is going to happen. It's going to be like uni exams back in the nineties all over again when my bastard house mates had finished exams and broke the pact of no celebrating till all were finished and watched From Dusk Till Dawn in a haze of smoke and alcohol whilst i was trying to study Calculus 3 or Operation Methods or something. The house had thick walls but not thick enough.

John Birmingham mutters...

Posted July 21, 2015
They were toughening you up.

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Sparty swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted July 21, 2015
Sold.

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Glenn Webster has opinions thus...

Posted July 22, 2015
On order-thank you.

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BostonJoe mutters...

Posted July 23, 2015
Once you've seen this at least once have a look at the timeline that someone with a lot of time on their hands made. It can be seen here http://i.imgur.com/3iE5y7Q.png You'll need to zoom in to see anything.

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted July 23, 2015
Good work! Thanks.

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Kill Whitey puts forth...

Posted July 25, 2015

Watched it last night. Concept gets an 8/10. Execution gets a 6. Primarily the motivation for some of the characters actions is beyond flimsy at best. The story of the friends getting together and talking about life and having problems and yadda yadda yadda is actually way better done than the sci-fi element. Unfortunately the trailer broadcasts the twist a mile off.

Im gonna resist the timeline link above because I do feel like giving it another bash, just to see if I can spot where things *really* start going wrong for the characters.

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Darryl puts forth...

Posted July 27, 2015
It felt a lot like Plus One to me have you watched that?

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted July 27, 2015
No I haven't, but now I will.

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Not sure how I feel about this Han Solo movie spin off

Posted July 10, 2015 into Movies by John Birmingham

Disney seems intent on creating a whole universe of media for Star Wars, but I can't be alone in feeling a little nervous about the announcement of a stand alone film exploring Han Solo's early years. It was great to see an old and crumpled Han at the end of that last trailer and I sorta wonder how we'll go watching Ford reprise the role in The Force Awakens, only to have to watch another actor climb into the Falcon a few months later.

Who could pull that off?

Chris Pratt? Dunno. Nathan Fillion? Mmmaybe, ten years ago. Shia LeBeouf? Oh hell no.

27 Responses to ‘Not sure how I feel about this Han Solo movie spin off’

beeso mumbles...

Posted July 10, 2015
Great directors though. the guys that did The Lego Movie (and Clone High, one of the funniest most subversive cartoons ever)

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HAVOCK21 asserts...

Posted July 10, 2015
I would have to say I am with you on this one JB, the movies are iconic and the BRAND and all its marketing, and associated releases are for mine controlled and fit. Now Ill wager that the movies divert from the books, I have no doubt and purists for whom the books are holy writ will cry foul at what the movies have done. But for those for whom the movies are the sole source of the " Star Wars Saga" taking it off in another direction..........and opening up the very real possibility of miscasting the lead replacement for Solo has implications........significant to say the least in my book.
I'm really not sure barreling down the solo road head down arse up is smart, i'm trying to see just what sort of story arc wold fit and be acceptable........blood guts, chrome and flying body parts might well cover it, maybe somewhere in the books arc is an unholy dust up between the empire and the federation or whatever that might be marketable and have enough of a story line to interest even the shallowest of us...me included. T and A and EXPLOSIONS!...yeah that would most likely do it.
Actually I'm wondering if anybody has taken an off shoot of the primary film franchise and developed the left or right side arc or whatever the hell it is you call it an made more than one film. Is this sort of thing able to sustain series? and not be relegated merely to the carton world?
As for who might play Solo, depending on how far back, Ben Afflick came to mind, then again given our affliction for all things PC maybe it should be Oprah.
I like Chris Pratt from Jurassic World, or I reckon I have it.

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HAVOCK21 would have you know...

Posted July 10, 2015
Taylor Kitsch!

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HAVOCK21 mumbles...

Posted July 10, 2015
AND ths one...LONDON HAS FALLEN...gunna be fkn EPIChttps://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=3&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CDYQqQIwAg&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DLQLEZ1oqG5Q&ei=5gWfVZz_OsPn8AXNp5_oCA&usg=AFQjCNGY7T1vYmGcLCx43krYa6zGROt11g&sig2=XA3VLpyFWLhKUgNc2CCa7A&bvm=bv.96952980,d.dGc

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Rob mumbles...

Posted July 10, 2015
When I saw it was the Lego movie guys I thought it will probably be a good film. Chris Pratt might work but it might also kill his career. Brad Pitt is probably too old but would make a good droid sidekick.

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insomniac reckons...

Posted July 10, 2015

All well and good, but who is going to play Chewbacca?

pi swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted July 10, 2015
Aye... without a good Chewwie, it'd fall flat pretty fast.

Rob reckons...

Posted July 13, 2015
Probably give us Jaxxon the rabbit and his space ship the lucky rabbits foot. Fer the kids you know.

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Shifty Tourst is gonna tell you...

Posted July 10, 2015

I agree. I think the biggest mistake which has happened in the Star Wars universe has been showing too much of it. The Jedi used to be this mysterious order of mystical warriors, that you really don't know anything about except in hints, passing information. Then, the new Trilogy comes out, and we know everything about them.... they have a school, tetchy librarians, a big ass temple. They must also have bookkeepers, and bureaucrats... because there are a lot of them, somebody needs to organise them. Must also have cleaners, because shiny sci-fi surfaces must be prone to marking.

So we went from Mysterious badass warrior monks, to public servants with laser swords... hmmm, sexy.

Same thing applies to Darths backstory. Before, hints and snippets about wars, fallen apprentices and betrayal. We're seeing a story built in the aftermath of another story, which we know nothing about. Its intriguing, compelling.... and we want to know more. But I think this is precisely why its great.... that we don't know the entire story and that we want to know more. Once its shown its narrative power is lost.

The other problem is what I like to call the prequel problem. The most interesting thing that has happened in the world happened in the mainstory. The characters story, only intersects with those events in that story. But now you have write an interesting story about somebody, who has no reason to intersect with the main interesting things for twenty years or so. So they need to find ways to shoehorn them into dealing with the momentous events. So prepare to see young Solo with extremely contrived reasons to run into people he'll forget meeting later on.. ferrying pre-emperor Palpatine to mysterious meetings. Smuggling Mon motha away from clone blockaded planets. Its basically what they did with droids in the new trilogy.


Shifty Tourist ducks in to say...

Posted July 10, 2015

Oops, should have read fully before rant.. I mean commenting.... I'm way off topic.

I think Chris Pratt has the right look.

Rob asserts...

Posted July 10, 2015
Public servants with laser swords. Gold! So fkn true.

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yankeedog mumbles...

Posted July 10, 2015
Anthony Ingruber (the guy in the clip linked) should be cast. He's young, looks like Ford, and sounds like him. Solved.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bba_wPdLxp4

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3452021/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t30

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pi mutters...

Posted July 10, 2015
The story of how he got the Falcon from Lando would, IMO, be a pretty good story.

Sudragon swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted July 10, 2015
'Won it in a card game' IIRC, but this could expanded into a Guy Ritchie, Hustle style interstellar caper movie. A minimum of large explosions, running gun battles and playing up snappy dialogue.

Which could be quite entertaining.

Raymond Camden reckons...

Posted July 12, 2015
I have to say - I always figured the "won it in a card game" was hiding a much more interesting story.

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SZF mumbles...

Posted July 10, 2015
Dear Hollywood: Just. Fucking. Stop. With. The. FUCKING. Origin. Stories!

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trib ducks in to say...

Posted July 11, 2015
If they do it, I hope they base it on the Han Solo Adventures (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Han_Solo_Adventures). Set just before Episode IV, and not a bad read if you can find them,

yankeedog swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted July 13, 2015
The Brian Daley books? Those were great fun.

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damian is gonna tell you...

Posted July 11, 2015
Martin Freeman?

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GhostSwirv has opinions thus...

Posted July 12, 2015

How about someone to blow the minds of both Star Wars and Star Trek fans and cause the Space Time Continuum to implode with spacey splodey goodness?
Chris Pine as Han Solo

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Quokka ducks in to say...

Posted July 13, 2015
No. Chris Pine needs to get busy making MOAR Star Trek. Hans off the crew of the enterprise, you greedy poacher, Ghostswirv.

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GhostSwirv puts forth...

Posted July 13, 2015
I prefer the term, Gredo Bounty Hunter, if you don't hive-mind.

I'm sure CP could PO from JJs ST soundstage over 2 JJs SW soundstage with very little tribble, err, trouble - there's precedent for this arrangement.

Michael J Fox would leave the set of TV show Family Ties to go shoot Back To The Future at night, and look how that turned out!

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Therbs mutters...

Posted July 14, 2015
Nup. Not interested in this. Solo did his thing when he helped save the universe and get the princess. Anything else is gonna be small, wasted potatoes. They should use a new character instead of piling slop onto an overextended cartoon. Just kill him and the other originals off and be done with it.

GhostSwirv swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted July 14, 2015

What kill them all ... you mean with like a Photon Torpedo or a Phaser blast from a starship travelling at warp speed?

Therbs puts forth...

Posted July 14, 2015
Anything. Anything at all.

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Ixion28 puts forth...

Posted July 16, 2015
I think I know how I feel about it. The more details about the Star Wars universe you get, the duller it will be. One reason Star Wars is so special to so many people is that it really only consisted of six movies (and four of them are duds), and it took 38 years for them just to reach "The Force Awakens". Disney's notion of one Star Wars movie a year...well, in just a few years we'll be up to our asses in Star Wars, and we'll see how special it feels then, when you're being beaten over the head by it every time you turn around. None of the "Anthology" movies is about anything I need an entire movie about. I really don't care a damn how the Rebels stole the Death Star plans, and I care even less about young Boba Fett or young Han Solo movies. Less is more, and a sense of mystery fires the imagination. These all sound like a bunch of crossing the t's and dotting the i's continuity filler, retcon timewasters that are exactly the same sort of junk that filled the wisely-disposed-of "expanded universe".

Rob is gonna tell you...

Posted July 17, 2015
The unknown parts of star wars was what made it special. In the end the tedious exposition killed the joy. I preferred making up my own what if, but, and why. Still the toys are awesome.

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Akbar's Eleven Pull off the DeathStar Heist

Posted June 28, 2015 into Movies by John Birmingham

It shouldn't work, but it totally does.

3 Responses to ‘Akbar's Eleven Pull off the DeathStar Heist’

insomniac asserts...

Posted June 28, 2015
I know there was probably some editing involved but it would be so sweet if the audio was laid straight on top of the video and it fit perfectly.

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GhostSwirv is gonna tell you...

Posted June 28, 2015

Goddammit! I knew Chewbacca was always voiced by Casey Affleck

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[blackops] would have you know...

Posted June 29, 2015
God damn, that's nice.

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