Cheeseburger Gothic

Zombeavers!

Posted February 11, 2014 into Movies by John Birmingham

Need I say more?

32 Responses to ‘Zombeavers!’

Infinite8Horizon swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted February 11, 2014

Incisive film-making. Wide open for a sequel. They're probably beavering away at it already. Etc.

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Murphy would have you know...

Posted February 11, 2014

Funny, I thought the film was something else. ;)

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

FormerlyKnownAsSimon puts forth...

Posted February 12, 2014

The movie is a comment on the social pressures for women to remove all hair producing follicle areas except on the head. All the actors in the movie do not have the eponymous 'beaver' and it juxtaposes the lack of hair leading to a gruesome bloody death . . . . . or something.

Not shaving is the new frontier.

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SenatorMcKinneyTexas mutters...

Posted February 12, 2014

Seriously, only two comments?

Boylan, WTF????

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Barnesm mumbles...

Posted February 12, 2014

The only question is which Oscar nomintion catagory?

insomniac swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted February 12, 2014

How can you imagine it would be limited to a single category? Surely the answer is "All of them".

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Quokka ducks in to say...

Posted February 12, 2014

I am shocked and disappointed not to see Myley Cyrus in the credits.

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Naut swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted February 12, 2014

The obvious question is......

at the 30 sec mark, why does the beaver have a torch?

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Murphy has opinions thus...

Posted February 12, 2014

Oscar category?

Why, the beaver eatin' category.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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Barnesm has opinions thus...

Posted February 12, 2014

I thought it was a different Bieber?

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Dave W swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted February 12, 2014

2014's sharknado...I'm excited.

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FormerlyKnownAsSimon reckons...

Posted February 12, 2014

Was it the seventies or eighties where we got a whole trailer trash full of schlock films? Has the genre been recreated/reinvented or did it never go away?

The pontoon bit reminds me of that Creepshow short - the raft (i think) by Stephen King? For some reason that freaked me out.

Barnesm mumbles...

Posted February 12, 2014

"Was it the seventies or eighties where we got a whole trailer trash full of schlock films?" what do you mean 70.80s have you seen the movies that Syfy are making?

FormerlyKnownAsSimon swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted February 12, 2014

ah, no. But i don't remember a scifi channel back in the nineties when paytv was taking off (but my memory could be a bit sketchy over that period . . . ). A mate and I have a running conversation spanning decades about how there wasn't much in the way of scifi/fantasy stuff being made for tv (or movies for that matter) so you had to take what you got. Glad the genre is getting more attention now though. I guess the scifi/fantasy nerds have been growing up getting jobs and disposable income and providing a profitable market. All that D&D back in the seventies/eighties corrupting young minds eventually paid off! : )

Unfortunately i have an issue with the format that pay tv offers so i'm going to miss a lot of that stuff.

Had a look and youboob has the short "the raft" in it's entirety. Hilarious. Although the story has good pedigree - original written by Stephen King and the screenplay by Romero

NBlob puts forth...

Posted February 12, 2014

<b>@</b>Simon, I read everything Mr King published in Australia up to the Dark Tower 2. Of all the creepy & the cooky only The Raft & Apt Pupil actually scared me. "Her hair, her hair was in the water." Its probably all in how he ended the sto

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Barnesm puts forth...

Posted February 12, 2014

Looking forward to Asylum's version 'Zombieber'.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted February 12, 2014

Wait a minute. This is clearly a rip off of the French silent classic Castors Faim (1926) directed by the great Albert Capellani and starring Alla Nazimova. I am not going to like this cheap, tasteless remake.

Barnesm asserts...

Posted February 12, 2014

I think you'll find this is a homage to the French classic, updated for a 21st century audience.

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TeamAmerica has opinions thus...

Posted February 12, 2014

@Simon- Do Aussies have access to Netflix, Amazon video or the other online video services like CinemaNow, Vudu, Flixter and Viewster? Most tv shows go on Netflix or Amazon within a year of their debut, so pay tv isn't necessary anymore.

A woman's college in Pennsylvania got so annoyed with crude jokes at its expense that its name 'Beaver College' was changed to 'Arcadia University.'

Barnesm swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted February 12, 2014

No we don't. Well not legally.

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HAVOCK21 ducks in to say...

Posted February 12, 2014

where did this take place...BADGER FKN CREEEK in TASSIE..MAP OF THAT IS!...fkn hell JB. LIKE...WTF MAN, you smokin shit or fkn what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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HAVOCK21 reckons...

Posted February 12, 2014

And now I'm fkn OFF TER BED!..Standing on that fkn wall still ya muppoets......REMEMBER THAT!

NBlob mutters...

Posted February 12, 2014

You are correct Lord Blarkon. It makes more sense when you read the text through a performance context.

insomniac asserts...

Posted February 14, 2014

Has anyone ever thought to collate Havock's performance pieces into some sort of stage spectacular? And who would you get to perform them?

"One Million Monkeys presents A Series of Soliloquies with Havock in the FKN Dell ya MUPPETS"

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FormerlyKnownAsSimon would have you know...

Posted February 13, 2014

i don't know why but this topic just won't get out of my head. I translated a review of this movie from a french site using the ol google translate. Results = hilarious

"In film, the zombie kitchen all the sauces. But if there is one that had never tasted, it is the special beaver. In Zombeavers our friends rodents literally fart a lead to become bloodthirsty beasts."

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted February 14, 2014

This wins the internet.

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TeamAmerica mumbles...

Posted February 15, 2014

@Barnesm- Thanks for your response. Do you know why? I'm surprised since, AFAIK, these services are available outside the US. Was some law passed in Oz or the US? Wikipedia says Netflix is "available to viewers in North and South America, the Caribbean, and parts of Europe (Denmark, Finland, Ireland, the Netherlands, Norway, Sweden, and the United Kingdom)"

damian asserts...

Posted February 15, 2014

It's only indirectly about laws. IP explotiation rights contracts are typically negotiated to apply to specific regions. Traditionally the companies that hold the rights for the Australian market have enjoyed a special capability to charge more. It goes back to the earliest days of British settlement, when you could negotiate exclusive contracts with shipping companies and easily create and maintain monopolies over wholesale and distribution networks. Historically the Australian market has just treated this as part of the cost of doing business and sucked it up. And being part of the environment, the situation would even have been basically Pareto efficient.

It doesn't just apply to IP of course - we still currently pay more for Apple and Dell hardware. But it's especially interesting with IP because the traditional arguements, that Australia is a long way from anywhere and has a small population really are not tenable.

Anyway, it's no surprise that rights-holders are reluctant to relinquish their competitive advantage and the extra margins you can make by keeping the Aussie market a bit captive. Nice little earner for them. It means that companies like Apple, Amazon and other big multinational content distribution networks have a challenge when negotiating access to a market like Australia's. It isn't insurmountable -- obviously, since we can get content from the iTunes store, Apple has found a way. But even the likes of Amazon have stumbled in this space and their attempts at localising are pretty clumsy. And so far Netflix have not found it to be worth their while to fight their way though the IP jungle that surrounds Aus.

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S.M. Stirling asserts...

Posted February 15, 2014

Right up there with "Sharknado".

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted February 15, 2014

Don't you so much as dare to disparage Sharknado by comparing it with this beaver movie. Sharknado is a cinematic masterpiece featuring complex and subtle dramatic irony. And Tara Reid. Who is hot. And not that bright. Which means she might go for a guy like me.

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Barnesm puts forth...

Posted March 1, 2014

and there are spoof poster for the academy http://www.giantfreakinrobot.com/scifi/zombeavers-shoots-oscar-votes-selfmocking-parody-posters.html

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Anchorman 2

Posted December 22, 2013 into Movies by John Birmingham

Took the kids in to see this today, and went with very low expectations. I didn't mind the first Anchorman, but I didn't love it either. It struck me as maybe half a dozen decent Saturday Night Live sketches strung together with more of a thematic link than a narrative one. Appropriate really, since the period in which it was set, the 1970s, was something of a high water mark for sketch comedy cinema. Think Flying High or The Kentucky Fried Movie. Actually, don't think about The Kentucky Fried Movie. It's sort of undermines my whole high water mark thesis.

But Thomas wanted to see the Anchorman sequel, probably because of the amazing job Will Ferrell has done injecting it into mass consciousness over the past couple of months. I let him rent the first movie on iTunes the other day and being an eleven-year-old boy, he loved it. So, what the hell? I figured I'd go with him.

I owe Mister Ferrell an apology for ever doubting his comedic or sequential chops. It is rare of course to encounter a sequel that surpasses the source material and it is all but unique when the source material wasn't that strong to begin with. So little interest did I have in this movie I even broke my own rule about reading reviews before seeing it.

Most of the reviewers seemed to get a few chuckles and consider it worth dropping your dollar for the big screen experience. Most reviewers are morons. This is a really, really good film. It far exceeds both the satiric and narrative vision of its forerunner, working at a number of levels both as a comedy and as a deconstruction of the malaise of the modern news media.

It's funny. Let's just get that settled up front. It's really fucking funny in its particulars, the hundreds of little jokes peppered through the script, and it's funny in the metanarrative of Ron Burgundy's redemption as a harbinger of civilizational decline.

American humor is often critiqued as loud and brash, two-dimensional, as being all tip and no iceberg, but only by morons or a certain type of cultural commentator from the UK, or wishing they were from the UK. In Anchorman 2, Ferrell and his ensemble cast give us a master class in writing and performing comedy with wildly different layers of meaning, intent and sophistication. From Steve Carell's absurdist shihan, Brick Tamland – a tour de force of post-Python silliness which reaches sublime heights in his double act with Kristen Wiig – to Josh Lawson's channeling the animal spirits of Rupert Murdoch there hardly seems to be a school of larfs which doesn't get a look in.

None of this would lift the sequel above the original were not for the obvious care Farrell and Co. have taken with the larger story. This was what I didn't expect, and it's what brings all of the jokes together for an unexpected payoff. Anchorman 2 is not just a scarifyingly talented comedy troupe working through some highly polished zingers. It is a savage takedown of the dumbing down of the electronic news media. This could have been a worthy and ultimately woeful exercise in finger wagging but never once does the script even veer in that direction. The cold cruelty of the judgment is all the funnier for being delivered without potentiousness or fake sentimentality. Not that Burgundy simply reprises his role as a giant joke vending machine this time around. The final triumph is that he manages all of the above while Ferrell's much loved cult creation goes on a genuine hero's journey.

Go see it. You won't be disappointed. And if you are disappointed, then fuck you, you're dead to me.

26 Responses to ‘Anchorman 2’

Lobes reckons...

Posted December 22, 2013

Do I need to see Anchorman 1 beforehand?

Murphy mutters...

Posted December 22, 2013

Yeah, what Lobes asked.

I'm not much of a Ferrel Fan (oooh, new twit-tah hash-tag) but I think the only work of his that I actually enjoyed was Stranger than Fiction, which actually had some fucking depth to it. Local effects out MK-12 did all of the FX for it and Casino Royale.

Anyway, what Lobes asked.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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Carolyn Cordon ducks in to say...

Posted December 22, 2013

JB said it's good, that's enough for me.

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John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted December 22, 2013

No, you don't need to. And it might put you off 2

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Halwes mutters...

Posted December 22, 2013

You've convinced me. Please send me 25 bucks for the ticket and I'll need airfares, accommodation and popcorn too thanks.

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Bobby Dazzler puts forth...

Posted December 22, 2013

Massive fan of Will Ferrell - Adam McKay movies

They might not make good movies but they're usually good for a laugh.

This is the big screen equivalent of a slow-roasted dog's asshole.

Halwes puts forth...

Posted December 22, 2013

high praise indeed

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Peteb mumbles...

Posted December 22, 2013

.. so you say, I say how good was Willie Fennell?

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Peteb asserts...

Posted December 22, 2013

.. so you say, I say how good was Willie Fennell?

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pi mumbles...

Posted December 22, 2013

Ha... I watched Kentucky Fried Movie last night with the Mrs.

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MickH puts forth...

Posted December 22, 2013

So its an 'Merica'n' comedy and its not full of bum poo wee fart jokes?

Really?

Murphy is gonna tell you...

Posted December 23, 2013

What Mick said, my usual problem with most of what passes for American Comedy.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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Dino not to be confused with mumbles...

Posted December 23, 2013

I bought Anchorman 1 for SWMBO for Christmas so we could watch it again before seeing Anchorman 2.(Don't tell me you don't do shit like that)

We saw it years ago but it didn't 'stick in our heads'.

There is so little comedy coming out of the US now or maybe that's just me.

Expose` and satire.

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Dave W is gonna tell you...

Posted December 23, 2013

Okay, I'd been put off by the mediocre reviews, but seeing as reviewers are morons and you advise that the movie is actually a multi-layered narrative on the rise and decline of the American fourth-estate (or similar) that is also brilliantly funny, then I'll try to give it a go.

And thanks for dropping in the word shihan.

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Aaron would have you know...

Posted December 23, 2013

Saw it last night and loved it however I disagree about part 1. It's genius but it's one that takes time to grow on you. So many little details that creep out of the woodwork. I only watch will ferrel comedies when Adam mkay is involved, without him will is a directionless man child.

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted December 23, 2013

Good point.

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kepler 22b would have you know...

Posted December 23, 2013

Ahhh Kentucky Fried Movie - indeed a high water mark. Catholic High School Girls in Trouble is etched in my memory.

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Aaron is gonna tell you...

Posted December 24, 2013

The others guys is also pretty good (for that style) and did a nice message about white collar crime without it being forced. During the credits they had facts contrasting the money stolen and sentences for CEOs of Enron etc vs what a poor person gets for stealing a car.

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BigWillieStyle reckons...

Posted December 24, 2013

Of the many things I genuinely do not understand, the appeal of Will Ferrell ranks Number 1. I'd rather shave a lion with a rusty razor than subject myself to one of his lame, by-the-numbers contributions to celluloid again. Let me guess - in Anchorman 2, he shouts/throws stuff/loses his temper/appears naked or topless at various points. Fkn spare me.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted December 24, 2013

I saw this film and was deeply disappointed. I expected a drama, not a comedy, and much, much more in the way of CGI special effects.

Dino not to be confused with is gonna tell you...

Posted December 24, 2013

I keep tellin' Ya Paul,

It's the Bill O'Reilly "Shut Up" Movie we saw.

Anchorman is the one with the moustache guy.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted December 24, 2013

Oh. Well, then the jury is still out on Anchorman 2.

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Dino not to be confused with is gonna tell you...

Posted December 31, 2013

Had a movie marathon at 'tight arse' Tuesday

2 movies including "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" which is nothing like the original with Danny Kaye. I will have to see that one again and read the story by James Thurber. Great Movie, we both agreed, SWMBO giving it slightly higher than I at an eight.

Anchorman 2 was better than the first(and worth a movie ticket). Lotsa laughs, lotsa cameos and lotsa thinky. I particularly enjoyed the last 'broadcast'. Made me think of Dan Rather and words to this effect, almost verbatim from this 37 second video-

http://rememberbuilding7.org/

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Guru Bob puts forth...

Posted January 2, 2014

Farrell can be hit and miss, but when he is good it is hilarious...

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Murphy has opinions thus...

Posted January 3, 2014

Pretty sure that my friend JB was smoking crack during the scene where Ferrell is smoking it because Mick's foreshadowing is pretty accurate. Instead of fart jokes they've graduated to some pretty low grade, tasteless jokes about race, among other things. It tries to channel the Blaxploitation vibe in a Tarantinoeseque manner and fails miserably.

My only regret during the film, aside from the frequent bathroom breaks in order to restrain the urge to pull an Office Space routine on the projector is that I didn't drink enough alcohol to pass out.

They could have improved it by focusing on the dude who has the condom bar and/or making a film where Harrison Ford's character is the lead.

Respects,

Murph

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Dino not to be confused with puts forth...

Posted January 3, 2014

Oh Murph,

This is the Country where you can sue a 'Motor Home' manufacturer for 'implying' or not explaining correctly that 'Cruise Control' does not mean Auto Pilot.

WTF?

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Respond to 'Anchorman 2'

Splodey Tom

Posted December 12, 2013 into Movies by John Birmingham

This looks cool.

12 Responses to ‘Splodey Tom’

Murphy ducks in to say...

Posted December 12, 2013

And we're getting another Jack Reacher.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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w from brisbane reckons...

Posted December 12, 2013

This movie is the 'Groundhog Day' for those that favour high-tech kill fests.

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Rob mutters...

Posted December 12, 2013

who's the old crusty dude in it? :P

BigWillieStyle has opinions thus...

Posted December 13, 2013

Amen. He looks way leathery.

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WarDog puts forth...

Posted December 12, 2013

First film I've wanted to see in a while. Ground Hog day meets Open your Eyes.

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Dino not to be confused with mumbles...

Posted December 12, 2013

OMFG-

http://www.smh.com.au/world/scientology-officially-recognised-as-religion-20131212-hv5dj.html

Now I can finally marry TOM!

Legally!

Oh praise the Lord, or Lords in this case(Privy Council and all)

I liked Emily in 'Young Victoria' but she seems a little uptight in the flesh.

Oh and 'Looper' with Bruce.

Actually I think I will marry Bruce.

That is a fkn great movie.

Dino not to be confused with puts forth...

Posted December 12, 2013

Now my wife says I can't marry Bruce.

"There is no God"

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tqft has opinions thus...

Posted December 12, 2013

Power suits & explosions means I can overlook Tom.

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Vir Montis ducks in to say...

Posted December 13, 2013

Looks pretty good, based off of a really enjoyable Japanese book (All You Need Is Kill) so here's hoping they don't bugger it up

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Barnesm would have you know...

Posted December 13, 2013

I think Luke Plunkett over at Kotaku Australia made this observation

"It’s not actually based on a game, I know. But the face masks, the armour, the aliens, the dropships… this is the visual language of the last decade of video games, turned into a Tom Cruise movie."

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Darth Greybeard asserts...

Posted December 13, 2013

Being an aged Hipster, I didn't like Tom Cruise before it was cool. Meh.

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Guru Bob reckons...

Posted December 15, 2013

Outstanding....

actually Oblivion was pretty good too...

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Respond to 'Splodey Tom'

Star Wars Bohemian Rhapsody

Posted December 7, 2013 into Movies by John Birmingham

Mad props for the Wayne's Worlds reference.

5 Responses to ‘Star Wars Bohemian Rhapsody’

Blarkon swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 7, 2013

Girls in bikinis wearing Vader helmets always strikes me as a little *too* dark side for my taste.

Dino not to be confused with mumbles...

Posted December 7, 2013

It did stand out didn't it?

My first thoughts were a hired 'body'.

Did it detract from the song?

What can I say?

Biology?

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MickH puts forth...

Posted December 9, 2013

Awsome

Didn't get the Shogan warrior reference though

The Waynes World nod was very subtle. Loved it

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Dark Matter Zine has opinions thus...

Posted December 9, 2013

That is awesome, thanks for the heads up. I now have an interview with a Professor Paul DeNigris to talk about their epic geek program. :-)

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Star Wars Downunder

Posted November 20, 2013 into Movies by John Birmingham

Strewth, it's finally here.

Continuing this week's unscheduled Star Wars festival here at the Burger.

14 Responses to ‘Star Wars Downunder’

Spanner ducks in to say...

Posted November 20, 2013

This is the greatest thing ever to have been thinged in the history of all things.

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w from brisbane would have you know...

Posted November 20, 2013

It makes me feel bloody proud to be Australian.

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Spanner ducks in to say...

Posted November 20, 2013

I like the paint job on the ute speeder. It the same as an MFP pursuit car from the first Max Max.

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Mothy is gonna tell you...

Posted November 20, 2013

Now go and play the Star Wars: X-Wing Miniatures game and your week of geek indulgence shall be complete.

And your wallet empty. Just, you know, FYI.

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FormerlyKnownAsSimon mutters...

Posted November 20, 2013

I'm a bit disappointed they didn't exhume Bill Hunter for this. Although the rebel leader with the beard is a close substitute.

Lulu puts forth...

Posted November 20, 2013

I could see Bill's ghost as the spirit of Obi-Wan.

Quite a change from Alec Guiness, though.

BigWillieStyle mutters...

Posted November 21, 2013

"Quite a change from Alec Guiness though"

Oh, yeah. "What the flamin' heck are ya playin' at, Skywalker? I thought I told ya to use the flamin' Force, ya fucken' drongo!!"

FormerlyKnownAsSimon has opinions thus...

Posted November 21, 2013

That is exactly what a mate said "needs more swearing"

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pitpat would have you know...

Posted November 20, 2013

Beauty bottler bonza my boys will love this. Thanks Mayte

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yankeedog has opinions thus...

Posted November 20, 2013

Oh, Disney. Never mind about Episode VII. Aussies got 'er done for you.

Even has English subtitles to help translate!

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Dino not to be confused with mumbles...

Posted November 20, 2013

I am going to go to Apple.

Working on Microsift and Bill wants to replace the fkr who can't make my computrer work.

What is linux?

Dino not to be confused with swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 20, 2013

So if my computer don't work I can strip a Police person from their Blue outfit and make them wear a iridescent pink Gstring?

That's the law ain't it?

I hope no Police Person parties near me.

I am a wowser.

And am true to my word.

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w from brisbane ducks in to say...

Posted November 20, 2013

On the topic of interesting new videos, Bob Dylan has put out an interactive video for 'Like A Rolling Stone'.

You can change the channel. Fun.

I think, Drew Carey, host of 'Price is Right' is my favourite so far.

http://www.bobdylan.com/us/home

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Cintamani ducks in to say...

Posted November 22, 2013

One of your 10000, Darthsiditious, work on this :)

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Watching Star Wars the wrong way, have you been

Posted November 19, 2013 into Movies by John Birmingham

Like most families we have all the Star Wars vids on DVD and they get a regular thrashing over the school holidays. It's been years since i've bothered to sit down and watch them with the kids (which means Thomas, really) but I'm thinking that when I get off deadline (Ha!) I might give them another go. A marathon, indeed, but in the order suggested by Nicholas Carlson in this article at Business Insider:

There is only one proper way to watch the series, and it’s not from Episode 1 to Episode 6. There are lots of story arcs in the Star Wars saga that matter. The one that matters most, and every movie touches on, is the rise, fall, and redemption of Anakin Skywalker, also known as Darth Vader, also known as Luke’s dad.

Because of that, the best order to watch the movies is the original Star Wars, then Empire Strikes Back, then the second prequel, then the third, and then final movie in the original trilogy, Return of The Jedi.

Watched that way, you get a story that introduces a hero and a terrible all-powerful monster, reveals that the monster is the hero’s father, goes back in time to show how the father became a monster, and ends with the monster redeeming himself.

It’s a deeply resonant narrative framework — full of allusions to eras gone by and foreshadowing of drama to come.

23 Responses to ‘Watching Star Wars the wrong way, have you been’

Spanner would have you know...

Posted November 19, 2013

So you skip Episode 1 entirely? Meh I'm ok with that.

Lulu ducks in to say...

Posted November 20, 2013

Episode 1 was the film which stopped me watching the rest of the series.

Bondiboy66 asserts...

Posted November 20, 2013

Me too. I went to the midnight screening when it came out...I left the theatre feeling somewhat unclean, vioated if you will. In later years my kids loved that show!

Bondiboy66 is gonna tell you...

Posted November 20, 2013

Although they realised Jar Jar Binks was shite from a very early age.

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w from brisbane has opinions thus...

Posted November 19, 2013

I don't think Ep. 1 was a very good movie.
But I think, as the years go by, with the more considered perspective of history,
Jar Jar Binks will be given his rightful place as one of the most delightful and heroic characters within the Star Wars universe.

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Bangar is gonna tell you...

Posted November 19, 2013

Star Wars Down Under, just saying.

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Rob has opinions thus...

Posted November 19, 2013

star wars prequels.... um just no. No alright. No. Nooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Rob would have you know...

Posted November 19, 2013

http://redlettermedia.com/plinkett/star-wars/ I recomend sitting down with your son and watching theses movies. You will need the same ammount of time as watchingthe real thing. My kids and I watched them. I also made them watch Fight Club with me when they hit 13. I'm sure that says something.

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pi puts forth...

Posted November 19, 2013

It's called the machete order, and it is the only way to watch it. It is the way I introduced my little boy to it, and you know what his favourite movie is? Revenge of the Sith.

http://www.nomachetejuggling.com/2011/11/11/the-star-wars-saga-suggested-viewing-order/

I love the character Darth Maul, but really, it was the only thing that was really worth keeping from that movie. It was amazing after watching it in this order how complete a series it became.

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pi ducks in to say...

Posted November 19, 2013

Straight to the synopsis...

http://www.nomachetejuggling.com/2011/11/11/the-star-wars-saga-suggested-viewing-order/#toc-introducing-machete-order

It really changes the story, and makes it... dare i say it... great.

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Barnesm has opinions thus...

Posted November 19, 2013

I am looking forward to trying this in the holidays, but the question is which version do you use? The one with the extra scenes, Jabba The Hut at the Mos Eisley that Han Steps on, where he shoots Guido first?

In Return of the Jedi, in the scene in which Darth Vader stops Emperor Palpatine from electrocuting Luke with Force lightning by picking up the Emperor and hurling him into the bottomless shaft of the Death Star, Vader now screams "Nooo! Noooo!!!" as he does so.

Or in A New Hope the arrival of a howling hooded figure who scares of the Tusken raiders crowded around Luke's prone form--a figure that turns out to be Ben Kenobi. For some reason, Lucas altered this howl, supposed to be Ben's simulation of a Krayt Dragon cry, to make it much more shrill and unpleasant--and startlingly less scary

Blarkon asserts...

Posted November 20, 2013

The Krayt Dragon cry was something added in later through the EU and novels. Sort of like how Boba Fett is meant to have survived in the Sarlaac. Which is bullshit because the whole point was that tough guys don't always go out in a blaze of glory - sometimes they die through a silly set of circumstances.

Lulu ducks in to say...

Posted November 20, 2013

I don't like Lucas's re-versioning: it was unnecessary & my 7-year-old self was quite happy with the original.

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Murphy puts forth...

Posted November 20, 2013

"Me Jar Jar Binks and Me Ruins de whole movie!"

Frequently heard quote late 1990s.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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BigWillieStyle mutters...

Posted November 20, 2013

This is the only way to watch Star Wars.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_n8FRILoYE

Or this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6A0rwG39Jzk

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Blarkon reckons...

Posted November 20, 2013

When I introduced them to wife and son I went 4,1,2,3,5,6 - that way they got the shock of Anakin being Vader (which was much bigger than finding out that Vader was Luke's father).

Also Episode 1 will be watched in 20 years. Kids like it - and as someone who has 2 lightsabers, about 200 different star wars ships, and shelves full of Star Wars books I remember that the target audience is 9 year olds.

Lucas once said that there was a generation of people that wanted Star Wars to be like The Matrix with cool fights and cool people doing cool things and that wasn't what it was about at all. It was about entertaining kids in the same way that 1930's serials did.

A primary reason why nerds get all angsty about Jar Jar and Ewoks is that they are obvious proof that the films are aimed at kids. If you want inception, go watch inception. If you want angsty Sci-Fi, go watch FireFly. But don't pretend Star Wars is anything other than escapist entertainment where 9 year olds are the primary audience.

MickH swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 25, 2013

Totally agree with you Blarkon. I have said the same thing to others many times.

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Barnesm asserts...

Posted November 20, 2013

but surely we can all agree Han shot first!

Rob would have you know...

Posted November 20, 2013

fuckin' A

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Therbs would have you know...

Posted November 20, 2013

Darth Maul. Is that some kind of jedi rugby thing?

insomniac ducks in to say...

Posted November 20, 2013

No, it's just a typo. The Dearth Maul is what the Wobblies practice.

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MickH puts forth...

Posted November 25, 2013

Having just read the blog that defines the Machete method, I can see how this would work. I'd still show Ep 1 but last as he suggests as a by line to the main story.

Wow I feel i have to go and find a Star Wars newby and try it out!

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Shifty Tourist reckons...

Posted November 25, 2013

On a related point, there was a youtube clip of a guy discussing what Episode 1 should have done not to suck, essentially he discusses what a rewrite should do... it has some great ideas, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgICnbC2-_Y.

Essentially, it is no longer Anakins story per see, but Obi Wan's.... tracking his story from young padawan, to inexperienced Jedi, to master, his great failure (Anakin, his charge, becoming Vadar) and his redemption (his sacrifice so that Luke can become "the new hope" and fullfill his destiny.)

Not sure I agree with all his ideas, but some I think stand out;

Darth Maul doesn't die a pointless death, but remains a villain through the entire three films,

Anakin is not a child when he meets obi wan, maybe a late teen.

Bit of a love triangle, jeolousy thing between Obi Wan, Anakin and Padmae,

Yoda not appearing, but referred to (building his mystique), until the final episode.

Anyway, I thought it was an interesting appouch essentially making it not a trilogy, but a story arch that lasts four films beginning with Obi Wan meeting Anakin, and ending when Vada strikes him down.

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