Cheeseburger Gothic

Shall we open the spoiler threads tomorrow?

Posted December 27, 2014 into Books by John Birmingham

Or should we wait for Greybeard? In his dotage, he has fallen somewhat behind.

55 Responses to ‘Shall we open the spoiler threads tomorrow?’

GhostSwirv ducks in to say...

Posted December 27, 2014

I say wait for Greybeard - Merry Christmas JB and to one and all, both above and below and those souls somewhat trapped between.
Been off-site due to interminable failure of portal connectivity - but have spent the past 30 hours consuming lashings of Boxing Day Family pork, turkey, Red Back & Bulleit bourbon between blood spattered Xmas-gift morsels of TheDave, ploughing dutifully through until I encountered the sad end of Emergence, strangely satiated.
But Christmas cheer seems empty now ...
GhostSwirv over and out - perhaps if I started re-reading very slowly I can stretch the daze until Resistance in March?

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Therbs reckons...

Posted December 27, 2014
Maybe during the lunch break at the cricket tomorrow. GB is rugged up in the southern cold, dreaming fitfully of hobbits feasting on baked hams, mulberry pie and mead.

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Spanner mumbles...

Posted December 27, 2014
*shouts: Yeah let's wait for Greybread!
*whispers: and wait for me cause Mr14 hasn't finished yet.



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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 27, 2014
How will Greybeard ever better himself if his weaknesses are constantly coddled, if he is saved from the consequences of his failings?

Darth Greybeard mumbles...

Posted December 27, 2014
Social Darwinist!

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted December 28, 2014
Quite the opposite, at least in part. I, of course, revere Charles Darwin as a demigod (what sentient human does not?), but I really don't like people much, and so can accurately be characterized as antisocial.

NBlob ducks in to say...

Posted December 28, 2014
So more of an antisocial Darwinist.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted December 28, 2014
That's a good way of putting it, yes.

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Darth Greybeard mumbles...

Posted December 27, 2014
Don't (cough) wait for me chaps*. Just (groan) go on without me. Tell the Colonel, well, tell him I've always loved him....
(*of all genders)That's kind but I'm easy. No great effort to avoid spoilers for a few days and I'm actually thinking of picking up another copy tomorrow. As a gift for a nephew you understand. And as a responsible uncle, I'll have to read it first, eh?

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w from brisbane mumbles...

Posted December 27, 2014
Spoilers! Surely not yet. Emergence is not even available internationally, is it? I actually intend to wait until Dave 3 comes out before I start reading Dave 1. I prefer to read the whole story in one go.
But, spoil away.(Spoil - To impair or destroy the value or quality of; ruin.)But I reckon you should wait until the whole story is told and available internationally.
It doesn't worry me that much personally. I am good at turning my eyes from spoilers, but I firmly am in the anti-spoiler camp. I want to be surprised. I want the author to be telling me the story, not some blabby bloke on the internet.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted December 27, 2014
" I actually intend to wait until Dave 3 comes out before I start reading Dave 1."

What are you, sick or something?

GhostSwirv mutters...

Posted December 27, 2014

... 'I want the author to be telling me the story, not some blabby bloke on the internet.' ...
Surely you've read the stuff the JB puts out online?

w from brisbane is gonna tell you...

Posted December 27, 2014
Sick? That's what I'm trying to avoid. I just don't have your guts. The night after night, little eyes peering over the bedspread, clutching on to teddy, worrying about what is going to happen to Dave. Unlike you guys, I just can't live that life anymore. Oh no, I'm going to wait.

NBlob would have you know...

Posted December 27, 2014
#TheDave

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WarDog has opinions thus...

Posted December 27, 2014
Steady on. I just over my Boxing Day hangover.

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insomniac asserts...

Posted December 27, 2014
I am hoping to receive my copy, cruelly posted at 6.30pm on Christmas Eve, on Monday, but due to family commitments will be unable to read more than a teaser, so either spoil away or distract ms insomniac for a time.

Dave W swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 28, 2014
That's such an interesting and important topic that it will practically write itself.

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JG ducks in to say...

Posted December 27, 2014
I shall avert my eyes and avoid any spoiler threads. Still to start reading Emergence what with Christmas and all. Might start lazily tomorrow.

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NBlob would have you know...

Posted December 27, 2014
1. The correct spelling is GreyBread, an ancient & proud lineage, with many a bastard & grey sheep. Ahem.2. Wait for him? What madness is this? I ache for a troika, snow & pursuing wolves to throw him to.

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she_jedi would have you know...

Posted December 27, 2014
Oh yes please can we start the spoiler discussions? I have to write a 1000 word source analysis on what funerary art and architecture reveal about Roman social issues for Uni by 5pm Monday and I'll need something with which to procrastinate :)

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Quokka swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 28, 2014
Since GB has relocated to the cake & cheese district of southern climes he is now more appropriately known as GreyBroad.Since his dotage involves doting on the Grand Evil while her mother visits Ikea I propose that you show no mercy & tread him under foot.

Anthony puts forth...

Posted December 29, 2014
As the Grateful Dead once sang "Every silver lining has a touch of grey"

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Darth Greybeard asserts...

Posted December 28, 2014
You know, the only people who are nice to me on this blog are the ones I haven't met yet. I guess I've just been really unlucky and met the wrong ones, eh? Yeah. That must be it.

Therbs ducks in to say...

Posted December 28, 2014
Erm, is that just on this blog GB or elsewhere?

Darth Greybeard ducks in to say...

Posted December 28, 2014
Oh that's right, bring my family into it.

NBlob reckons...

Posted December 28, 2014

correlation / causation? It *Could* be an coincidence. As my Momma always told me; there is a direct ,mathematical relationship between the number of trams that cross the Grey St Bridge & the number of gallons of water that flows under it.

A: It shows how old my Mum is, Brisbane hasn't had trams, on the Grey St bridge or otherwise, for 40 years.

B: Just because it has a mathematical link, doesn't mean one causes the other.

damian ducks in to say...

Posted December 28, 2014
Finding patterns is something our brains seem to be optimised to do, and meaning is the thing we bring to our perceptions, a side effect of the need to string a narrative from rather imperfect snapshot state samples that seems to be the way our consciousness functions. So the temptation to ascribe meaning to patterns is deeply ingrained.
That's one way of looking at it. You get almost the exact same result if the subject only has association rather than a concept of cause and effect, and from outside you can't tell if the latter is even in play. There's a good argument that most people don't even get cause and effect, but ascribe to it stuff that only works for them by association.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted December 28, 2014
"Finding patterns is something our brains seem to be optimised to do"

Speak for yourself. My brain doesn't seek patterns: it seeks jokes. Preferably funny jokes.

NBlob mumbles...

Posted December 29, 2014
Paul, your definition of Funny redefines idiosyncratic.
Damian. Heard a anti-pokies campaigner one time talking about exactly that. He suggested that a deep & ancient part of a "players" brain is trapped in pattern seeking. Was it those lights then that jingle before the payout or was it this jingle then the other lights. Fascinating stuff.I've tried to explain misplaced assumptions of causality to dozens of friends. Many of whom have un-friended me shortly after. The best tool is Lisa Simpson's magic rock that keeps away tigers. "You don't see any tigers around do you?"

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GhostSwirv swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 28, 2014

Remember GB I like Redback, Bulleit and Shiraz - not necessarily in that order or combination.
GhostSwirv over and out to change my network settings - wish me luck

Darth Greybeard would have you know...

Posted December 28, 2014
And poor GhostSwirv was never seen or heard from again. Can we send out a search party?

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Jon swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 28, 2014
Can i buy all 3 parts? if not ill wait it out. Didnt like your english cover by the way probably cause it had a pale useless englishman on it. chat later

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted December 28, 2014
You'll have to wait until April to buy all three at once.

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MickH asserts...

Posted December 28, 2014
Well I'm just finishing up the book but I'm off on a 2 week cruise tomorrow (Voyager of the seas, Fiji & NZ) :)
So I can't ask a couple of questions I have until I get back. Internetz cost on board the ship cost the GDP of Jamaica, so I have to wait. And the boss..er..Mrs has said she will cut me a new one if I go anywhere near anything webbed, (I think that includes ducks but I'm not sure)
Damn

Bangar swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 28, 2014
Enjoy your trip Mick,if you go to Suva ... well it's a cruise you've all ready paid for your food eat on board.

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Anthony mumbles...

Posted December 28, 2014

I got the Kindle version on pre-order and read it in almost one sitting... I want more! I want to know all the answers to all the questions I have.


I also got the new Matthew Reilly (with a slew of other books) for Christmas. Interesting comparison.


Matthew Reilly has lots of splodey bits - and dragons and heat-seeking missiles. Possibly even more splodey bits than JB. But nowhere near as good. Fun and entertaining but not a patch on Dave. Reilly tells a good story - JB immerses you in it.


Just an aside - I wonder if the next Starwars could feature a Dave Maul character?

I will say that I expect the NT Times to rate it well above Emergence - it's got saltwater crocodiles in it and Dav doesn't. And everyone knows that the NT Times is saltie besotted.

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted December 28, 2014
Matthew is accelerando. I am basso profundo.

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damian would have you know...

Posted December 29, 2014
Finished the Dave yesterday, so getting all spoilerific would be fine by me. Of course, this means I've gone back to reading Mike Carlton's book about the HMAS Sydney and the Emden, a thread about that would work for me too (history books come pre-spoiled I guess).

NBlob puts forth...

Posted December 29, 2014
Don't tell me, my money is on Muller; experience+ 10 X 4.1" guns with Zeiss optics & well managed fire control, 2 torp tubes, a top speed of 23+ knots Versus 8X6" guns, 2 torp tubes + change and English optics & a fire control system the equivalent of "Wot Ho chaps, have at the Hun."

NBlob puts forth...

Posted December 29, 2014
Goddamn I love the interwebs.http://ww1blog.osborneink.com/?p=3692

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MickH asserts...

Posted December 29, 2014
My Grandfather was a stoker on the Australia during the battle Damian. I used to love listening to his stories as a kid

Anthony would have you know...

Posted December 29, 2014

By a strange coincidence I was talking about the Emden with my brother-in-law the other day. His grandfather was on the Sydney for the battle and went on to be wounded at Gallipolli - he was one of the sailors rowing the troops ashore.

He then went on to serve on the Australia.

NBlob would have you know...

Posted December 29, 2014
Massive FanBoi of Dan Carlin Podcasts. http://www.dancarlin.com/ Thinky & 'splodey, with BBQ'd sacred cows & a sharp kick to the preconceptions.He released a massive multiple episode WW1 show, with a most excellent segment on the battle of Jutland. If you have a boring commute It is Teh Shizzle.

damian ducks in to say...

Posted December 29, 2014
I'm still waiting for Ep V of Blueprint for Armageddon. I'm drumming my fingertips on the dashboard and still waiting.
Not that I mind, mind :)
Which one had battle of Jutland? I listened to them in a binge a few months back... after your recommendation as I recall.

damian mutters...

Posted December 29, 2014
Have I mentioned wanting Eskine Childers for bookclub?

NBlob is gonna tell you...

Posted December 29, 2014
The one full fat, full cream naval battle. Where in the German fleet had its T crossed twice. I was particularly taken with his take on how fast State of the Art became redundant, and how the opportunity cost of using/ not using such high priced platforms may have helped push the Central Powers towards war. <div style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">IE You've spent a bazillion marks / pounds building these mighty platforms, the pride of the fleet and they have a shelf life like yogurt 5years after launch they are superseded, 10 years after launching they can barely keep up, 15 an archaic death trap. Any amortisation of value would say "declare war the day sea trials are complete."<div style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">As battle fleets were transitioning from coal to oil, huge improvements in gunnery- both hardware & process and fleet air assets were making this a particularly fast evolving context may exaggerate this trend, but if anyone made it back after engaging a ME 110 in a Halifax, they'd tell the same story. If they made it home.<div style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">
From memory in Russia Vs Japan, engagement @ 8 miles <2% shots fired hit. 20 years later at Jutland; engagement @ 18 miles >10% shells fired hit.

damian would have you know...

Posted December 29, 2014
Oh, familiar with the battle. Just don't remember which episode of Blueprint for Armageddon had it. I was drinking beer and wallowing in Liege, Ardennes, Somme, etc (minor bypass to Gallipoli).
Noting that Carlin, like Carlton, doesn't forgo the odd opportunity to put the boot into Churchill.

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Darth Greybeard mutters...

Posted December 29, 2014
Book is here! Bye now.

NBlob puts forth...

Posted December 29, 2014
Large print edition one presumes.

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Moko is gonna tell you...

Posted December 29, 2014
Audio book?

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted December 29, 2014
Contract signed. Probably in production.

Moko puts forth...

Posted December 30, 2014
Outstanding

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GhostSwirv would have you know...

Posted December 29, 2014

Hey Darth Greybeard I'm back ... Darth are you there, Grey - don't leave me hanging man, not with this Horde!
Audio book - voice of TheDave - did anyone spring to mind JB when you were conceiving Earth's champion or is it always your own voice you hear when battling demonic Orcs, Greenpeace and divorce lawyer types?

GhostSwirv over and out

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Chaz mutters...

Posted December 30, 2014

Just amazed that Emergence has actually made it out here.

lucky the office is very very quiet!

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Bunyip reckons...

Posted December 30, 2014
Managed to make it to Chapter 17 before RL and Planet Parenthood intruded.
The questions... oh, the questions...

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Respond to 'Shall we open the spoiler threads tomorrow?'

The Dave has landed.

Posted December 23, 2014 into Books by John Birmingham

I got a tweet from Sparty who seems to have secured the first legitimately (sort of) purchased copy via the Beast of Bezos and little VPN trickery.

I expect the physical roll out to be much slower, given the season.i

91 Responses to ‘The Dave has landed. ’

NBlob mutters...

Posted December 23, 2014
Sparty Wins.
Orin & Murph disqualified.

Murphy_of_Missouri mumbles...

Posted December 23, 2014
Damn.

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Spanner is gonna tell you...

Posted December 23, 2014
I just called a local bookshop in Byron Bay chasing a second copy (Mr14 is getting the first) of Emergence as a Christmas present for my dad. Girl gets on computer and can't find it. Girl asks me if this "John Birmigham" person is a self published author as they don't stock books by self published authors. I nearly snorted my coffee onto my keyboard.

Spanner has opinions thus...

Posted December 23, 2014
In other news Hippies are stupid.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted December 23, 2014
Dude, your uptight judgmental vibes are major uncool, man. Major uncool.

pitpat ducks in to say...

Posted December 23, 2014
The smart hippies moved out or sold out 20 years ago.

NBlob is gonna tell you...

Posted December 23, 2014

Darwinian.


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Bangar would have you know...

Posted December 23, 2014
It's available at Amazon Australia, but my device doesn't show up so I can't get it. Unless I start changing things around, guess I'm waiting for the hard copy to arrive.

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JG ducks in to say...

Posted December 23, 2014
Thanks for signing my copy at Avid Reader this morning, JB. Was going to get it after Christmas, then decided to get it early. It will give me something to read over Christmas at the Gold Coast.Cheers,JG

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pitpat would have you know...

Posted December 23, 2014
Where the f is my rented copy then. It almost enough to drive me back to paper. Waiting Bezos still waiting.

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Therbs has opinions thus...

Posted December 23, 2014
Dymock's Bondi Junction are gonna ring me when they have it on the shelves later today so's I can get it after work. Amazing what a polite voice can do. Bondi Boy - there ya have it. I think Dymocks is more the Adelaide St end of Westfield.

insomniac reckons...

Posted December 23, 2014
As I have already ordered from Boomerang, I might go down to Dymocks in the city just to fondle a copy.

Therbs ducks in to say...

Posted December 23, 2014
Walked past George St store at lunch, popped in, not yet on shelves.

FormerlyKnownAsSimon is gonna tell you...

Posted December 23, 2014
In the meantime, insomniac has been arrested for lewd behaviour to books. One witness, Beryl from Doonside in town to buy her granddaughter a peppa pig doll, describes the scene as disturbing "he (i think he was a he i didn't have my glasses on) was muttering about not being able to find a Birmingham book. Then he started stroking the spine of that new Flanagan one. He was saying fast, then slow, then fast fast fast."
The new released book section will never be the same again.

Bondiboy66 asserts...

Posted December 31, 2014
Thanks for the heads up Therbs...Dymocks have absorbed a fair bit of coin from me! I'm late to this...haven't being paying attention to the burger whilst on holidays.

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MickH has opinions thus...

Posted December 23, 2014
That'll learn meTurn'd up at the Avid only to find it sold out.Zipped over to Pulp Fiction but they don't have their stock yet.LOL sent the dude into a bit of a tizzy 'cause he didn't know JB was coming :)Bought it and I'll pick it up later

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Bernie ducks in to say...

Posted December 23, 2014
I'm already up to chapter 9, and so far it's a good read, so good in fact that last night I couldn't put it down, until the tablet fell out of my hands, sleepy.

NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted December 23, 2014
And Bernie skirts ever so closely to the "They all turn into vampires in the bar" protocol.

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she_jedi is gonna tell you...

Posted December 23, 2014
JB confirmed he signed my two copies at Avid this morning, cue fangirl *squeeee* of joy. And then Mr Cook came to the rescue and told me my ebook pre-order on iTunes was ready for download, which I promptly did on every iDevice I own. I don't like my chances of getting any actual work done at work today with explodey goodness sitting on my phone just centimetres away. The torment.

John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted December 23, 2014
*whispers*
Read the booooook, jedi. You know you want tooooo.

she_jedi mumbles...

Posted December 23, 2014
*Hands over ears* STOP IT JOHN! It's tempting enough without the Master of Explosions whispering at me :)

insomniac asserts...

Posted December 23, 2014
Those are the woids you're looking for ...

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Miss Maudy asserts...

Posted December 23, 2014
My local Dymocks is holding one for me to collect on my way home tonight. Quietly excite for the splode-y action.

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sibeen has opinions thus...

Posted December 23, 2014
Bloody Collins in Moonee Ponds didn't have a copy and reckon it isn't released until January. Bastards.

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Therbs mutters...

Posted December 23, 2014
Dymocks in Bondi Junction has a diminishing stack. Book goes well with Young Henry's Ale. Pub is a minute away from the book shop.

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Surtac ducks in to say...

Posted December 23, 2014
My e-copy dropped onto the kindle this arvo. Eldest Daughter has been trying to get me a paper copy for Xmas but has been told by every bookseller in Woden (ACT) that it's not due until next month.
Lazy bastards.

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pedrogb swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 23, 2014

But but, I'm already finished.....

What am I supposed to do now?

Thoroughly enjoyed JB Thanks

NBlob ducks in to say...

Posted December 23, 2014

Shut. Up.

That's what you are supposed to do.

Just. Hold. Your. Fire.

Wait like a good little Uncloaking Lurker.

You are very welcome to ask all the questions you like, spoileriffic and otherwise in just a few days when JB opens up a spoilery thread.

Dropping spoilers in here may be met with actual physical harm.

MickH mutters...

Posted December 23, 2014
"wait like a good little Uncloaking Lurker"
ROFLMAO Love It!
Sounds like a cross between Star Trek & Criminal Minds!

John Birmingham mutters...

Posted December 23, 2014
Gold star for Pedro. The rest of you are in disgrace until you finish. Pedro can have one of the shiny new sequels in February because Pedro is my new favourite.

Bernie is gonna tell you...

Posted December 24, 2014
I'm up to 78% done, and I promise I'll never spoil - hate spoilers with a passion and I've been known to berninate them severly over on OCAU.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted December 24, 2014
Well I am going to spoil. I just have to share that, at the end, "Rosebud" turns out to be his beloved childhood sled.

I didn't see that coming.

insomniac has opinions thus...

Posted December 24, 2014
At least we have both the sweet anticipation of waiting for the book, and the excitement of reading it to come. You early finishers got nothing left.

NBlob asserts...

Posted December 26, 2014
Tching.
Bring on the spoiler thread.

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Murphy_of_Missouri ducks in to say...

Posted December 23, 2014
Yeah, hold off on the spoilers, folks. I've only used my hammer of loving correction twice. I'd kinda like to keep it that way.
Thanks.
Respects,MurphOn the Outer Marches

MickH ducks in to say...

Posted December 23, 2014
There's so many dudes brandishing hammers in this place its starting to look like a blacksmiths convention! :)

Darth Greybeard has opinions thus...

Posted December 23, 2014
No it doesn't. I've been to a few Blacksmiths conventions and got the t-shirts. This is more like a club for people who've been banned from all the other clubs. In some cases for brandishing clubs, in other cases for having a few up their sleeves. Then there's NBlob who may be what the English meant by "eminently clubbable". Or not.

Murphy_of_Missouri puts forth...

Posted December 24, 2014
The Dave's Splitting Maul requires an entourage of Sledge wielding champions.
The Dave Abides.
Respects,
Murph
On the Outer Marches

Therbs mutters...

Posted December 24, 2014
Hammers, clubs, splitting mauls. Someone's been peeking into the storage locker controlled by the Sergeant at Arms of the Bounders Club.

Murphy_of_Missouri mutters...

Posted December 24, 2014
Ice picks and chainsaws, you missed those.

Bangar reckons...

Posted December 24, 2014
At least they haven't made it to the back of locker, that's were all the good stuff is!

Murphy puts forth...

Posted December 25, 2014
Well, it would take weeks to get to the back of the locker, Bangar. That is, if they knew the rituals for gaining access.
Respects,MurphOn the Outer Marches

Bangar mutters...

Posted December 25, 2014
I knew I had a good reason for not tidying that locker up!

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Spanner ducks in to say...

Posted December 24, 2014
Zero copies found in the wild on the North Coast of NSW. This makes Spanner sad.
Ordered a copy from Boomerang. So JB gets an extra cut and I have to wait.
If I've got to wait then so do you lot of gurning spoiler blabbing pilchard heads. No spoilers or bam down comes the Hammer.

Spanner has opinions thus...

Posted December 24, 2014
My bad Booktopia gives me free delivery but no extra cut for JB. So yay me.

Spanner is gonna tell you...

Posted December 24, 2014
So I get 2 hours into the drive from the Far North Coast of NSW to Port Macquarie and my local bookstore calls and says a copy of Emergence has arrived. Shit. Drive another 3 hours to Port Mac and go to the bookshop there...NO COPIES OF EMERGENCE.
Give up and order a copy for Dad from Boomerang. Print order details and place under tree.
Realise I've failed to put in promo code for free postage.
Not one of Spanner's better days. Not at all.

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Bernie mutters...

Posted December 24, 2014
I'm done, excellent read, can't wait for the next installment.

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Mayhem is gonna tell you...

Posted December 24, 2014
(One of) my Christmas present(s) to myself. I am plague-ridden, so perfect excuse to just sit and read it in one sitting. AFTER I finish the plum pudding, the gift wrapping the house cleaning, the shopping... *sigh*

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pitpat mutters...

Posted December 24, 2014

I retract my previous slur on the Beast of Bezos, and am now happily ensconced in a world of splodiness. I will not be rushed or harried into finishing.

I will enjoy it like a single malt savouring the various descriptions of bodily harm and contemplate the subtle nuance of a plot which seeks to reconcile this worldly existence with the spiritual awakening and redemption of a single man.

Not sure if I can give it to my 11 year old boy though, what with cocooned country upbringing.

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Darth Greybeard swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 24, 2014
Melbourne burgers still waiting, qbd Eastland have stacks. Also they lied when they said not until Jan 1st. I resisted the temptation to buy one to read now.

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tqft has opinions thus...

Posted December 24, 2014
I had my copy personally inscribed.
Still haven't got the bit where Staff Sergeant Fryderyk Milosz shows up. I assume when the Europeans get involved. If you try to tell me he doesn't, why yes there will be explosions.

Spanner has opinions thus...

Posted December 24, 2014
Yeah wot tqft said...there better be some Milosz. There just fkn better.

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Therbs puts forth...

Posted December 24, 2014
Merry Christmas Burgerers!

Lulu swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 24, 2014
And happy festivus!

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damian would have you know...

Posted December 24, 2014
It turned up on my Kindle last night, as was promised back when I pre-ordered. I haven't had a chance to really get stuck in yet, been scurrying about doing this and that. Probably will tonight.

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Murphy_of_Missouri ducks in to say...

Posted December 24, 2014
A suggestion?
Those that have read and liked should pop over to someplace like Goodreads and/or other such sites, maybe post an honest review.
Spread the word.

MickH ducks in to say...

Posted December 24, 2014
Actually Murph, I think its time for JB to fire up on of his infamous "spoiler" threads

sibeen has opinions thus...

Posted December 24, 2014
Yep, I reckon so, Mick.

Finished it off this afternoon, and can't wait for my scathing wit to be unleashed upon a thread.

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Gavin mumbles...

Posted December 24, 2014
Haven't read all the replies. Just bought a signed copy from Pulp Fiction book store in Brissy. Can't wait to get my hot little hands on it.

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Bangar swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 24, 2014
Please excuse me I have my signed copy in hand, I may be away from the keyboard for a short while. (bathtub bourbon indeed)

Spanner puts forth...

Posted December 24, 2014
Shut up shut up shut up.
I have a copy. Well Mr14 has his..ours...my copy under the tree.
Is it wrong of me to unwrap it...and read a bit...and put it back under the tree?

sibeen reckons...

Posted December 24, 2014
Yes, Spanner, that would be very, very naughty of you.

Mind, if you wrap it exactly the same way no one would know.

Bangar reckons...

Posted December 24, 2014
More wrapping paper to Spanner STAT!

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ShaneAlpha asserts...

Posted December 24, 2014
I'm resisting the temptation to read my ITuney electronical version as I have asked for a signed dead tree version for Christmas.
If Santa doesn't come through I'm siccin Havok on the fat bastard.

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pi asserts...

Posted December 24, 2014
On the kindle. on the ipad.

Thanks JB. Great Chrissy prezzy.

Respond to this comment

she_jedi is gonna tell you...

Posted December 24, 2014
Got home today to find one of my cats lying on my bed with a shifty look on her face and a possessive paw draped across my iPad. This lead to a heated discussion on whether or not she'd been reading The Dave while I was at work. After threatening to withhold her Fancy Feast Royale with Virgin Flaked Tuna Christmas dinner from her she broke and admitted, yes she had been reading The Dave in my absence, and had finished it 5 mins before I got home. We're at detente with a mutual agreement of no spoilers until I've caught up. Cats cannot be trusted with one's finest splodey literature. I feel so betrayed.

Spanner has opinions thus...

Posted December 24, 2014
Never ever trust a Kitteh. Especially my kitteh. Or Q's Kitteh's. Or that kitteh down the street...

Murphy would have you know...

Posted December 25, 2014
Elves as well according to David Sedaris.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan puts forth...

Posted December 25, 2014
I heard that Santa and his union busting goons killed a bloke.

Respond to this thread

tqft mutters...

Posted December 24, 2014
Finished.Might have to get an ebook version. Not sure I want amazon though.
Wife asked why I was reading that one when I have other (hundreds) of great books unread. Answer? blah blah blah, felt like it? been waiting?

Respond to this comment

Surtac would have you know...

Posted December 25, 2014
Just finished it. Absolute bloody marvelous cracker of a story.
Want the next one now.

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted December 25, 2014
Out late Feb. But first you need to write me an 88 star review on Amazon/Goodreads

she_jedi has opinions thus...

Posted December 25, 2014
I posted one on iTunes but it doesn't seem to have taken yet. iTunes has a release date of 1 Jan, despite delivering it to my iDevices on 23rd Dec. Go figure. But to Amazon I go like a good minion :)

Bernie mumbles...

Posted December 26, 2014
Only been home from work for 40 minutes, I'll do it after I wake up later on today, promise.

John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted December 26, 2014
You are both my new favourite

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Therbs mutters...

Posted December 26, 2014
Haven't finished it yet but one thing I've noticed is the edit seems really tight and smooth. The book just flows.

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Peteb has opinions thus...

Posted December 26, 2014
No need to solicite a review from me ... I'll post it on Amazon, later ..

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted December 26, 2014
I'm sure you'll read the text closely and it will be the very acme of truthiness.

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Surtac reckons...

Posted December 26, 2014
My Amazon review is up now. It's short and non-spoilery.

If you want a full and proper review John, let me know.

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Therbs reckons...

Posted December 26, 2014
Dave vs Hangover Gorillas review now up on Amazon. Hangover gorillas? For those unfamiliar with my fave term of post booze suffering here's an explanation.What happens is that after you've been out on the sauce you are visited in your sleep by gorillas and their various hench-apes. They take all your money, piss in your mouth, rip your shirt, blow smoke all through your clothes, beat you up, strew clothes everywhere, throw up and not clean the mess and leave flecks of blood in strange places. You wake up with a killer headache, your mouth feels like gorilla piss, you have no money and you're bedroom's a disaster. You gauge the ferocity of your drinking by saying something like, "Man, that was a killer night. I must have been visited by at least a dozen gorillas and a troop of baboons."

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Surtac has opinions thus...

Posted December 27, 2014
Feck it. I will write a full and proper review.

The theme and approach came to me overnight last night -- and the more I think about it, the more it fits the book and where I think you're going with this, John.

I prolly can't get to it tomorrow - SWMBO is having conniptions about a 3 cubic metre skip we need to fill before Monday - but soon afterwards. Not sure where I'll post it - depends on what i end up writing. Mebbe here, mebbe in a spoiler thread, mebbe somewhere else completely. We'll see.

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted December 28, 2014
Throw it on Goodreads or Amazon if you're signed up. I'm curious about where you think I'm going with Dave. That's one of the discussion threads I want open.

Therbs puts forth...

Posted December 28, 2014
Got mine up on both.

Surtac has opinions thus...

Posted December 30, 2014
Finally found paper copies at Woden ACT this arvo, so John gets a second royalty to flick into the Hovercraft upgrade fund.
I've started a re-read for purposes of drafting my review..

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Bunyip is gonna tell you...

Posted December 30, 2014
w00t! Ran the coffers dry pre Xmas, what with presents for the kids et al, and *cough* consumerables *cough*.
Just twigged that the book voucher that the mother of my kids gave me = Dave, the Part 1.

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tqft reckons...

Posted December 30, 2014
short review up on goodreads

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John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted December 31, 2014
You are all my new favorites

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Ted Chadd mumbles...

Posted January 2, 2015
Soooo happy... Couldn't fool Google Play, don't care to "Kindle" but Kobo... I was happy to convince Kobo I was Australian and not the scheming Canuck that I am...
Surprisingly when required to supply and address they happily accepted JB's as my own fictional one!
Off to enjoy Dave in the frigid north!

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted January 2, 2015
Officer Chadderton everyone. You'll be meeting him in book 3.

Respond to this thread

Respond to 'The Dave has landed. '

Emergence is book of the Week at Boomerang, which means free delivery!

Posted December 22, 2014 into Books by John Birmingham

If you want all your heavy drinking, buffet destroying, monster smashing SPLODEY Dave action delivered free o' charge in the traditional dead tree format, this would be the week to head over to Boomerang books.

Emergence is Book o' the Week there with free domestic shipping when you use the promo code 'thedave' at checkout.

On this topic, I've thought of a way US Burgers could get the book early without paying stupid shipping rates. If a couple of you want to team to together and order a bunch of books to be sent to one address, the receiver could then forward them on via the much cheaper US postal system. Feel free to organise that below, or email me if interested. I could work with a local bookseller to expedite.

To encourage squealy excitment, here is the UK cover mock up. I love it with an unnatural physical love.

54 Responses to ‘Emergence is book of the Week at Boomerang, which means free delivery!’

Sudragon ducks in to say...

Posted December 22, 2014
I think I'll axe for a copy of this for my birthday.

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted December 22, 2014
I see what you did there.

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DNABeast mutters...

Posted December 22, 2014
That's the sort of cover that appeals to he Shawn of the Dead crowd.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted December 22, 2014
For some reason I pictured Dave as being taller.

insomniac mumbles...

Posted December 22, 2014
Not shorter, follicly challenged, with a prominent sagittal crest?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 22, 2014
Heavens no. That's how I picture his attorney.

Nocturnalist ducks in to say...

Posted December 22, 2014
I pictured him older, by quite a bit. Just going by what I've read on here, my mental Dave was shaping up to look a lot like a middle-aged Chopper Read.

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Murphy_of_Missouri mumbles...

Posted December 22, 2014
I think they did a pretty good job with the Hunn and I love the 1 pound Cracker Barrel special chocolate bar they found for Dave.
Respects,MurphOn the Outer Marches

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted December 22, 2014
Are you sure that Cracker Barrel chocolate? I really want to know, because I want some.

Murphy_of_Missouri has opinions thus...

Posted December 22, 2014
I suspect it is actually Hershey's.
Next time you visit KC, we'll take you by for a look.
Respects,MurphOn the Outer Marches

MickH has opinions thus...

Posted December 22, 2014
Nah! You're both wrong! Its a slab of Cadburys Carmelo,. Extra Large!

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted December 22, 2014
On second thought, it clearly IS a Cadbury bar, extra large. Which makes sense considering this is the UK cover. The square cells could indicate anything from milk chocolate to rum 'n' raisin. But not Carmelo, which has a distinctively different cell shape.

MickH mutters...

Posted December 22, 2014
You're right, but now I thinks its a bar of SNACK, you know, the one with all the different flavours

she_jedi would have you know...

Posted December 22, 2014
Can't be Snack, each of the "squares" of a Snack are different shapes so you can work out what flavour they are, and the ones in the pic are all uniform.

pitpat reckons...

Posted December 23, 2014
I have a mental picture of Dave as a dark chocolate sort of guy. Possibly with almonds but I might be projecting. Needs detailed reading to confirm.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted December 23, 2014
The British cover Dave is gnawing on a big block of Cadbury milk chocolate. The American Dave doesn't have time for chocolate.

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FormerlyKnownAsSimon asserts...

Posted December 22, 2014
is there an embargo period on spoilers here at the burger? (for those that might not be too quick on the uptake for a copy)

NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted December 22, 2014

In the past JB has opened a specific spoilerific thread.

I will unhesitatingly smash spoilers anywhere but the spoiler thread, with my ban hammer.

Without hesitation.

Without mercy.

SPARTA!

Known as "They turn into vampires in the bar" protocol.

Spanner would have you know...

Posted December 22, 2014
*Taps Ban Hammer gently on bar, tips cowboy hat back with Ban Hammer and adopts western drawl.
Ahem...nope that just won't do round here. See we don't take kindly to folks blabbing spoilers. Spoilers is going to get hammered right quickly and then we will take you out into the desert and instead of staking you out an an ant nest we are going to tie you up and have Greybeard tell you long and boring stories from his youth. You think real carful like about that. Long and boring stories. Yup that's how much we don't like spoilers round here partner.

FormerlyKnownAsSimon asserts...

Posted December 22, 2014
Sounds good. Still not sure if i'm getting this for christmas or bday in early jan (if i don't, i will pour scorn on the family and go out and get it myself. I did drop enough hints such as "get me this")

Murphy_of_Missouri would have you know...

Posted December 22, 2014
I have spoiler material AND the ban hammer at my disposal.
Oddly enough, I do not feel any need to employ either of them.
Respects,MurphOn the Outer Marches

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Therbs is gonna tell you...

Posted December 22, 2014
Generally Birmo waits for a while before allowing in threads with spoilers. I reckon if anyone came in tomorrow afternoon with such things the ban hammer would quickly be swung.

NBlob reckons...

Posted December 22, 2014

Ditto, ibid & op cit.


Darth Greybeard reckons...

Posted December 22, 2014
Oh dear, he's babbling again. Someone must have left the Stoli out.

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Therbs mumbles...

Posted December 22, 2014
Will any Sydney bookshops have it on the shelves on 23/12?

John Birmingham mutters...

Posted December 22, 2014
I'd ring, Therbs. Some will. Some won't.

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted December 22, 2014
I'd go Boomerang or Booktopia if you can't find it in the real.

Therbs has opinions thus...

Posted December 22, 2014

Cheers. I'll be hassling the poor buggers tomorrow. Boomerang option if the stores are hiding until 1 January.

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she_jedi has opinions thus...

Posted December 22, 2014
That's a great cover but I think I like the US version better. Why do we just get an oil rig for our cover? Why can't we have a Dave cover for Aus? Enquiring minds and all that :)

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Blarkon asserts...

Posted December 22, 2014
I imagined the the axe to be a lot bigger.

Darth Greybeard mutters...

Posted December 22, 2014
Yes. And with a fire-axe style hook.

John Birmingham mutters...

Posted December 22, 2014
In the text, it's a splitting maul. Part axe, part sledge hammer. I have asked for the change.

Blarkon mutters...

Posted December 22, 2014
Yep, what he's carrying now doesn't look like it would cleave a charging Orc bastard.

Bangar reckons...

Posted December 22, 2014
Well his carry is just that, he's not ready to swing it and his opposing hand is occupied. Yes you can swing it one handed but accuracy will suffer and don't talk about recovery well do and for some time because Dave will need it. Yes you can use a short grip ala short swording (tad easier as you're not gripping a sharp blade) but still it is a two handed technique. Dave eat your chocolate quick you'll need the hand and the energy ;)

NBlob puts forth...

Posted December 22, 2014
Wouldn't a Splitting Maul be a lumber, timber felling kinda device?

Defender90 has opinions thus...

Posted December 23, 2014
Coincidentally I've just come in out of the gale from using a maul. But. Why would an oil rig have a wood splitting axe like that on board? Or is that a spoiler?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted December 23, 2014
If an oil rig worker wants to relax during his spare time chopping wood, what's it to you?

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted December 23, 2014
There is indeed no reason to find a splitting maul on an oil rig. You'll have pay full retail and read the text closely to discover why it's there.

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Therbs puts forth...

Posted December 22, 2014
With Boomerang Books you get a $5 credit if you're a first timer with them. That makes it $18.99 including postage. Expect it to take 3-5 business days to be delivered by Oz Post, depending where you are.

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sibeen has opinions thus...

Posted December 22, 2014
FUCK FUCK FUCK

Realistically one of my great hopes for this book was not the prose, the explosions, the sex, nor the monsters; it was purely in the joy that the ambulance chaser from bunmfuck, California wouldn't get to read it until I've had months of gloating.

This really does take the shine off things, and I'm vastly disappointed in you, John .

NBlob would have you know...

Posted December 22, 2014
A little harsh Sibeen. Davis can be nice, at certain times of the year.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 23, 2014
Actually, there is a Bumfuck, California, named after Alfred Bumfuck, a wealthy cattle rancher and philanthropist.


MickH mutters...

Posted December 23, 2014
Are you related Paul?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted December 23, 2014
The Bumfuck framily is rural California royalty. You can't swingt a dead cat in Butte County without hitting a Bumfuck. I'm just a poor country lawyer from a less exalted blood line.

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TexasTeaserPony would have you know...

Posted December 23, 2014
Am I the only one who thinks Dave looks like one of Boylan's cousins, the one whose parents were related before they got married?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted December 23, 2014
In all honesty, that does look a bit like Cousin Timmy.

Respond to this thread

Darth Greybeard reckons...

Posted December 23, 2014
Look, I know this seems to be 'pick on Paul' week but that ambulance chaser crack is a bit harsh. Paul is a modern and successful 21st century businessman. Thanks to his GPS trackers in their wheel arches and the rapid response ShysterCopter™, chasing ambulances is a thing of the past.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted December 23, 2014
You forget my ultra cool Shystermobile.

I'm working on the Systercave.

Darth Greybeard puts forth...

Posted December 23, 2014
I liked ShysterCopter because it sounds like something vaguely rude in German. It suits you.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted December 23, 2014

"Sie sind eine Shystercopter, sie inkompetenten anwalt wer verfolgungsjagden krankenwagen!"

Something like that?

w from brisbane swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 23, 2014
Those Germans. Some people think they lack a sense of humour. So untrue, you just have to be attuned to its quietly gleeful mordancy.
The first google photo image that comes up for Anwalt (lawyer) is this one.http://ra-joshat.de/img/nico-joshat-ihr-anwalt.png

NBlob puts forth...

Posted December 23, 2014

That. Guy? or many like him?

The trenches of litigation are strewn with corpses, rent and fuming of young lawyers who thought they had a hot line to The Truth. Paul is more of your grizzled NCO type, dishevelled & hard bitten who by keeping his head down, powder dry and pure dumb luck has survived engagement after engagement. He has seen the beast consume righteous and evil alike, grind the cream of youth into a paste of fear and waste.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 24, 2014
You're my new favorite.

Respond to this thread

Respond to 'Emergence is book of the Week at Boomerang, which means free delivery!'

Emergence pre order links

Posted December 18, 2014 into Books by John Birmingham

The eagle-eyed among you will have noticed a banner ad pop up for Emergence. That link (and this) will take you to Booktopia, where I get an extra 7.5% royalty for any business I send to them. This addresses some of my issues with running Amazon ads, as Booktopia are an Australian operation. Plus an extra 7.5% will finally let me get that third gold plated hovercraft I need.

Booktopia are an ebook retailer, (my bad earlier, I said they weren't) but they don't have a deal with Pan Macmillan, so for anyone looking for Kindle copies, you'll want to get on the end of this link.

That'll take you to the US kindle store, where a lot of you have accounts, but if you've programmed the nav computers for the somewhat hapless Aussie store on your electronical book reader, it should offer to redirect you. If it doesn't redirect, DONT USE THAT LINK - you'll be left waiting until April with the likes of Boylan and McKinney.

For anybody who wants to get hyperlocal in their support, Pages and Pages in North Sydney have teamed up with Boomerang Books and you can support one of the best bookstores in Sydney by hitting this link up.

78 Responses to ‘Emergence pre order links’

Barnesm reckons...

Posted December 18, 2014

Already pre-ordered my e-book for the December 23 release.

Respond to this comment

MickH is gonna tell you...

Posted December 18, 2014
How about pulp fiction in the city?

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted December 18, 2014
I'll be signing their stock as soon as it comes in. If you want a personally inscribed copy, just let 'em know.

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Abe Frellman has opinions thus...

Posted December 18, 2014
Are your friends at Paperchain getting any, JB?

John Birmingham mutters...

Posted December 18, 2014
all good book shoppes, Abe.

Respond to this thread

beeso mumbles...

Posted December 18, 2014
iBooks?

John Birmingham swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 18, 2014
Yep.

beeso reckons...

Posted December 19, 2014
sweet

Respond to this thread

Kmo would have you know...

Posted December 18, 2014
That'd be my holiday reading sorted then. Awsm!

John Birmingham mutters...

Posted December 18, 2014
Kmo is my new favourite.

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Sparty has opinions thus...

Posted December 18, 2014
strange on the amazon us store it still says "April 28, 2015." for the kindle version///

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Sparty swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 18, 2014
Ah Amazon Australia did you really think it would be so easy to stop me.... Strokes chin.
Annoyingly it means I'm going to have to read the ebook on my phone rather than Kindle but atleast I'll have a "Monster xmas".

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Sparty mumbles...

Posted December 18, 2014
That oil-rig cover is good.
Sorry if i could avoid Amazon I would....

Respond to this comment

Rhino has opinions thus...

Posted December 19, 2014
Will this be HC or paperback? Amazon US has a price of $7.99 US. Booktopia has a price of $25.50 AUS. Is that really the price of paperbacks there?
Booktopia doesn't ship to the US of By God A. Does anyone know if any of the sellers on the preferred list do so?

Murphy_of_Missouri reckons...

Posted December 19, 2014
The paperback in Australia is a thicker, larger book more along the lines of a hardcover minus, well, the hardcover.
Respects,MurphOn the Outer Marches

Lulu is gonna tell you...

Posted December 19, 2014
Rhino, that very often is the price of paperbacks here - I paid $30 for the new Naomi Klein book,

John Birmingham ducks in to say...

Posted December 19, 2014
Yeah, Rhino, here's a dilemma for you. Follow the Sparty Protocol and get it early via Kindle, but at the vastly inflated Australian price, thereby supporting antipodean universal health care, union power etc.Or wait and pay a pittance to Amazon in the US.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted December 19, 2014
Damn you for using my impatience to seduce me into supporting - if not becoming part of - the antipodean experiment in godless socialism.

NBlob ducks in to say...

Posted December 19, 2014
Join usBe one of us

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 20, 2014
Well, if you put it that way, I'm in.

Rhino reckons...

Posted December 22, 2014
Oh, that's not a dilemma at all. I'm one of those cis-male, patriarchal, white privileged, upper end of the income distribution curve Seppos ... I'll be buying the more expensive copy for the cache of it all. I'll just have to take some of the twenties I light my cigars with (while contemplating how to keep the masses down) and transfer that into Aussie money. Oh, wait, I won't have to soil my fingers, I've got a guy to do that for me.
I just can't quit you sons of convicts. You had me at antipodean.

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w from brisbane mumbles...

Posted December 19, 2014
Is there going to be a three book omnibus edition?Asking for a friend.

John Birmingham mutters...

Posted December 19, 2014
Not planned at this stage. Probably not ever in print.

Respond to this thread

Surtac has opinions thus...

Posted December 19, 2014

Pre-ordered the e-version via the Big River. Hoping to see paper copies in the wild earlier, mebbe this weekend here in darkest CBR.

Very much looking forward to it.


John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted December 19, 2014
I know of a few places already have their stock in, but not on display.

Darth Greybeard ducks in to say...

Posted December 19, 2014
Tried all the local places and they're saying 1st Jan. Bummer.

Abe Frellman is gonna tell you...

Posted December 19, 2014
Surtac, if you find one, could you sing out pls?

Surtac mumbles...

Posted December 20, 2014
Will do.

Surtac ducks in to say...

Posted December 21, 2014
Abe, no paper copies anywhere at Woden this (Sunday) morning.

Otoh, I did find a dvd copy of P-51 Dragon Fighter so that will have to serve as a surrogate for now.

Respond to this thread

Therbs would have you know...

Posted December 19, 2014

I'm just going to have a few beers at lunch after work on Chrissie Eve then go and hassle the stressed out Dymocks staff.


"Gimme that fkn monsters book wot Birmo wrote farken. Its got a bloke called Dave in it. Giss it now."
In fact I might do it this arvo. And again tomorrow, etc.

John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted December 19, 2014
Hahahahahaha

Bondiboy66 is gonna tell you...

Posted December 19, 2014
And I shall be behind you, tapping you on the shoulder saying 'Hurry up fuckyaz, I wanna buy a book! Fucken!'

Respond to this thread

Peter Bradley mumbles...

Posted December 19, 2014
Sir you have your extra 7.5% from me. Don't spend it all at once!

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted December 19, 2014
You are also my new favorite

Respond to this thread

Darth Greybeard mutters...

Posted December 19, 2014
Look I know this is totally OT but it's Xmas and I think I know the weaknesses of the average burger.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9J7GpVQCfms
And yeah I know it's probably an over-egged fizzer but I really want one.

Respond to this comment

Barnesm has opinions thus...

Posted December 19, 2014

As much as I'd like so see more $$$$ going to the author, I am just not buying any more 3D books for reading, they just take up too much space and weight. My shelves are full at home with the acculated libraries of two lifelong readers and having had to pack up and move for the third time in five years enough is enough.

So I am sorry but I am buying the e-book by default through amazon since I want it soonest. Though if you want to tell me how many $s you won't get through this action I am happy to provide compensation - perhaps some cooler Melbourne weather being sent up Brisbane way.

Respond to this comment

balri puts forth...

Posted December 19, 2014
I live in Brisbane. Where is the best place to go to ensure I get a copy before Christmas?

Barnesm mutters...

Posted December 19, 2014
Go around to Birmos place.

Lulu would have you know...

Posted December 19, 2014
Didn't he order extra-bitey Dobermanns to deal with just such a possibility?

John Birmingham swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 19, 2014
Hey Blair, I'll having breakfast and signing christmas copies at Avid Reader on 23 dec and Riverbend Books, again for breakfast, on the 24th. I'll also get into Pulp Fiction as soon as Ron tells me he has copies for me to sign.

MickH reckons...

Posted December 19, 2014
hey JB! what time at these bookstores mate, I will try and make one of them

Respond to this thread

Bobette ducks in to say...

Posted December 19, 2014
Hi Birmo,I am La Bobette, Lord Bob of Nowhere's only progeny. I am desperate to get a signed copy of Emergence for my fathers christmas present, will you be hosting any book signing events in Brisbane in the near future where I can purchase a signed copy? Cheers.

John Birmingham swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 19, 2014
Ms B, please see the thread just above.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted December 19, 2014
You do realize, Bobbette, that your father frequents this disreputable place so is likely to know what you are getting him for Christmas, yes?

Darth Greybeard is gonna tell you...

Posted December 19, 2014
What a nice beard you have "Ms Bobette". If you were really the progeny of the infamous Lord Bob, you would probably be too busy slipping arsenic into his 200 litre Stoli barrel to find him a Xmas present.

NBlob swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 19, 2014
Arigato

NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted December 19, 2014
To tired to fight gremlins.
Thankyou Birmo
Abe & Prof Boylan, satisfaction trumpssurprise, this I am prescriptive RE presents, presenting a Very short list of options, all of which are guaranfknteed to please.Greybeard, you will address My Daughter with great respect, or find yourself forever in fear of all RNs.

Darth Greybeard asserts...

Posted December 20, 2014
Too late. I already fear them and doubly so for one who is your offspring.

Respond to this thread

Abe Frellman would have you know...

Posted December 19, 2014
Ssshhh don't spoil the surprise.

Respond to this comment

Petebowes mutters...

Posted December 19, 2014
You have a Tara Moss problem here with your fans here Birmingham ... I'll pass this saga, ok?

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted December 19, 2014
A what?

MickH ducks in to say...

Posted December 19, 2014
I very much doubt whether you have ever read any of Johns books. You arn't a failed writer are you? I think you are!

Abe Frellman has opinions thus...

Posted December 20, 2014
'Failed' is a bit strong, but he might benefit from the Pomidoro method, so that killing a single character with a knife doesn't take the same amount of time as it takes a bald man in a Rissole Club to read a Tara Moss novel.
Yes, at the risk of sounding like a NAB advertisement, more tomatoes, less treacle, I think.
See, that's what is called 'constructive criticism'.

Respond to this thread

Petebowes would have you know...

Posted December 19, 2014
Ok. I wrote a blogpost once about watching a guy speed read through one of her books in the Ballina RSL, the guy was on an amphetamine read looking for something about every twenty pages, then he'd slow down and enjoy ... then, boom boom, off again, who knows what he was looking for. Tara Moss found the post, got pissed off, jammed it on her FB page and about two hundred thousand of her fanfrocks came down on my site - both sexes. Tara Moss cannot abide anything negative about her work. She has an army of blind readers.Nice to talk to you Birmingham.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted December 20, 2014
I wish I had an army of blind readers. It would make writing far less stressful.

Respond to this thread

MickH asserts...

Posted December 19, 2014
Oh Hi PeteB. It depends entirely on how you present your negativity. Saying that my writing belongs on the toilet wall is an example to me, anyhow, of not how to do it.
If you present a reasoned response as to why you dislike Johns work, you may get a better response. But fans being fans, anywhere, will probably resist it.
You arn't the bastard who called Johns wife a very naughty word are you? Because if you are you have lost all credibility on this blog and will never be taken seriously. But if you arn't, then feel free to be a troll, you won't be the first and most of the burgers love to dish it to a troll.

NBlob mutters...

Posted December 19, 2014
Here Trolly Trolly Trolly Troll, We've got a nice blog for you to smear with your own runny turds.I hope you won't be too offended when we say it isn't as nice as the Mona Lisa. What's that? It's about your insight not the form? Well when one starts off with arsehattery rather than a preposition it's not entirely surprising.

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Peterbowes asserts...

Posted December 20, 2014
let her rip boys

Respond to this comment

MickH mutters...

Posted December 20, 2014
BINGO!
Found it! After a bit of googling and cross checking I found your blog Peterbowes. So lets open up the street both ways shall we? www.petebowes.com.
A bit of a surfer dude are we?

MickH swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 20, 2014
It also appears our mate Pete is a writer at the red gate and is a Bondi boy. Do you know JB from his Bondi days? I wonder

Peterbowes reckons...

Posted December 20, 2014
No Mick, The first book of Birmingham's' I read was Dopeland, a daughter gave it to me with a few buds inside, that was in the day he wasn't so straight .. he changed, I never did.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted December 20, 2014
Tell us more about your daughter. She sounds way cool. And you sound like a cool parent who probably got high with his daughter. Did your wife know? Or were you divorced and just trying to be the "cool dad" to place yourself in sharp relief to your comparatively disciplinarian ex wife - all in an attempt to alienate your daughter's affection for her mother? Or maybe your daughter gave you that book with dope in it to shock you, to offend you, because you were the disciplinarian and your ex wife was the "cool" parent. But I bet it didn't work. I bet you called your daughter's bluff and rolled a fat one, shocking your daughter with your coolness, coolness she didn't suspect you had until that moment - a formative moment that made you the person we see today, trolling in a better writer's blog. And all because of the Devil Weed. Yep, that's right: dope ruins lives. It ruined yours, clearly, and yours is a cautionary tale that should be told to fathers with the warning that, if your daughter gives you a book with buds in it, put it down and walk away. Just walk away.

NBlob ducks in to say...

Posted December 20, 2014
I think there's something in that for all of us.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan puts forth...

Posted December 21, 2014
One would hope.

Respond to this thread

Darth Greybeard would have you know...

Posted December 20, 2014
If you want a signed copy and you're not in Brisbane and don't like waiting anyway, here's wot I done. The lovely people at Avid Reader (avidreader.com.au) have said that if I order one, they'll present it to JB at the breakfast signing on the 23rd, then post it down. It's not the cheapest way to get it but since the local places don't get it until the 1st anyway, it's probably just as quick.

Bangar swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 21, 2014
Yep mine ordered with a request for JB to inscribe.

Respond to this thread

Peteb asserts...

Posted December 20, 2014
Maybe you blokes should give it away, now you're beginning to sound like priests, aren't you nblob ... quit while you're behind.

MickH swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 20, 2014
So you go for NBlob who says 10 words relating to Paul's comment. Really Pete? Is that all you have to offer? Lift you game pal. Yawn!

Respond to this thread

Peteb is gonna tell you...

Posted December 20, 2014
Mick, mate ... I have 4 of Birmingham's bricks in the shelf, read them all, good stuff, plus Dopeland - so that makes me an equal amongst you blokes, you like his stuff, I like his stuff - I'm just the bloke who walks into the pub and stirs the locals - you know who I am, you've got my blog picked, been to LinkedIn, how does that make a bloke a troll? ... but you still can't handle a pisstake, everyone arches up and does a Tara Moss, maybe y'all are Queenslanders.Loosen the fuck up, please.

damian reckons...

Posted December 20, 2014
The thing you're doing here, Pete, is making yourself difficult to understand. Almost everything you say requires some sort of work to make sense of it. That's not a very effective communication style. Basically you need to work out what the special meanings that your constrained context applies to things actually work out to be for someone who doesn't care about that context. Otherwise you're simply incomprehensible, and not for reasons that say anything good about you.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 21, 2014
You are not my equal, Pete, even if you claim to "own" and to have "read" five of Mr. Birmingham's "books." Perhaps you've done this only for the prestige doing so endows. Familiarity with John's work provides a certain je ne sais quio among the world's intelligentsia. But I claim such familiarity because owning Birmo's books also impresses chicks - at least the ones that read - and those are the ones that count. And, in the final analysis, it is much less expensive than traditional romantic enticements such as expensive food, alcohol and the occasional suggestive video.

Rhino is gonna tell you...

Posted December 22, 2014
Tara Moss. I think that I saw her dance once. I could be mistaken. It was during a peyote and mescal fueled binge in the high desert in the mid-90's.
Then again, an apparition of a balding, middle-aged greek attorney also appeared and said that they were my spirit guide and that I was to eat an apple or invest in apple or some such thing ... and gibberish words like the interwebz and google and such.
Luckily, I consigned those visions to a bad trip and locked them in a dark corner of my subconscious. I mean, who would take a balding, middle-aged, greek attorney seriously as a spirit guide. I thought my spirit guide would be a rhino, or, at the very least, an eagle. Can't tell you how disappointed I was at the time.
I was a fool.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted December 22, 2014
I thought your spirit guide was a balding, middle-aged greek attorney who had a way with the ladies. That last part is an essential aspect of the spirit guide you described.

And be happy for the spirit guide you have: mine is a pencil. Ticonderoga. No. 2. And always in need of sharpening.

Respond to this thread

MickH asserts...

Posted December 20, 2014
Ok Pete, here is how it is, many of us have been regulars on this blog for years, over 7 years for a lot of us. It gets a bit clicky sometimes but we are like a motor cycle gang, we have a habit of defending our own, particularly when someone attacks JB. We have had issues in the past, and now some of us have the power to delete posts we think are inappropriate, this goes against JB's basic principles but he has learned that sometimes you just have to swing the hammer. Be happy that you haven't been totally blasted and that shows we aren't above criticism, just expect, like I've been giving you, stick if you have a go at one of us. its human nature mate. Just like in a pub, you're in danger of getting king hit. Coming on to the burger as a shit stirrer has its dangers

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Pete has opinions thus...

Posted December 20, 2014
That's exactly how I understand it Mick, the best pubs are the hardest pubs, I've worked plenty of them ... and Damien, that's how I write, just like I talk.

MickH swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 20, 2014
Then why do you expect me to back off? :)

Respond to this thread

Pete asserts...

Posted December 20, 2014
.... I'm off son, be back later.

Respond to this comment

Therbs would have you know...

Posted December 22, 2014
Yeah son. Ooh...ooh! I've read some Birmo books as well! And I once had beers with Prof Boylan at the Rats and another time at the Bergs! I'm way fkn cool, ay.

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Respond to 'Emergence pre order links'

From the desk of Dave Hooper

Posted December 12, 2014 into Books by John Birmingham

... but not just the usual anonymous 'With Compliments' slip from the publisher. So I had a batch of stationary made up. Straight from the desk of Dave Hooper.

I used a web based company called Vistaprint to get them done and am still a bit amazed at the speed and quality with which they delivered fifty perfectly printed sheets for less than twenty bucks. I tried a few other places and was quoted hundreds.

46 Responses to ‘From the desk of Dave Hooper ’

Murphy_of_Missouri puts forth...

Posted December 12, 2014
Teh Awesome!

Respond to this comment

Lobes reckons...

Posted December 12, 2014
I am very excited about this book. Its always interesting how JB taps into the zeitgeist when backgrounding the themes of his novels. The Axis of Time series came out in 2004 at the apex of American military adventurism and posited what could result if the interventionist attitude was extended out 20 or so years.

The next series of Disappearance novels swung the other way and hypothesized the likely outcomes of a power vacuum where a vanished USA led to a breakdown in the geopolitical order. This series came out from 2009 and reflected a resurgently isolationist America that was tired and weary of war and how its fair weather allies might need to be careful of what they wished for.

But seriously this Dave Hooper series looks like surpassing the previous two. Stuck, as we currently are, in a nexus of atmospheric and energy issues JB takes metaphorical aim at the fossil fuel companies that are releasing the climate demons around the world. Its not hard to draw a parallell between his literary monsters and the weeks of #Stormpocalypse in Australia, the 'Weather Bomb' currently smashing the UK and what is sure to be another winter of crazy Vortex led disruption in North America.

Once again JB has managed to capture the defining issue of our time and sculpt it into another thrilling narrative involving his trademark wit, scrupulous attention to detail and characters that leap off the page (and if you spend enough time around this blog you may realise that sometimes the characters leap on to the page as well). I am amped to get into this book and delighted by the fact we have three being released in quick succession next year. This remdies my main issue with his previous trilogies in that we had to wait a year between drinks.

Bunyip is gonna tell you...

Posted December 13, 2014
If you don't like that sincerity, I've got others that may suit more.

NBlob is gonna tell you...

Posted December 14, 2014

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.

Leonard Lyons

Respond to this thread

coriolisdave swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 12, 2014
JB, did they do the entire thing, blood & coffee included?

Or just the stationary?

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted December 12, 2014
The blood and coffee too.

Respond to this thread

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted December 12, 2014
Sorry, to clarify; I supplied the blood and coffee. But it's printed on the paper.

coriolisdave asserts...

Posted December 12, 2014
AW.

SM.

JG ducks in to say...

Posted December 12, 2014
Ewww! Too much gore. I feel lightheaded. Blood is not my forte. Very colourful though. I hope I survive reading your next trilogy, JB. There's sure to be blood in it.

Loves, er, Lobes (predictive text is a curse) - a most intelligent comment. I will be interested to see if the Dave vs technology and monsters series also covers new technologies like genetic cloning and super smart robots. The monsters could represent a multitude of the world's emerging threats and uncertainties. Always good to write about fear.

Joanna G

ShaneAlpha puts forth...

Posted December 12, 2014
Coffee? And here I was, thinking it was a beer ring from a frosty glass of Old Persuader.

John Birmingham ducks in to say...

Posted December 12, 2014
There is an Old Persuader joke/ref in Resistance.

Respond to this thread

Barnesm would have you know...

Posted December 12, 2014

<font face="Times New Roman">
</font><font size="2"><font face="Arial">Blackadder: [to Baldrick] I wish to
quickly send off some party invitations. And to make them look particularly
tough, I wish to write them in blood. Your blood, to be precise. </font></font>

<font size="2"><font face="Arial">Baldrick: So, how much blood will you actually be requiring,
my lord? </font></font>

<font size="2"><font face="Arial">Blackadder: Oh, nothing much, just a small puddle. </font></font>

Baldrick: Will you want me to cut anything off? An arm or a
leg, for instance?</font></font>

Baldrick: Very well, my lord. I am your bondsman, and must
obey. (sticks a knife down his trousers and begins sawing)</font></font>

<font face="Times New Roman">

</font>

Blackadder: OH FOR GOD'S SAKE, BALDRICK! I meant a little
prick on your finger!</font></font>

<font face="Times New Roman">

</font>

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted December 12, 2014
One day you will learn not to cut and paste from Word.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted December 12, 2014
Have you considered the possibility that Barnsey knows precisely what he is doing?

Barnesm mumbles...

Posted December 14, 2014
What he said.

NBlob mutters...

Posted December 14, 2014

It's an homage to Havsy's performance pieces.

Very Meta.

HAVOCK21 mumbles...

Posted December 16, 2014
BITE!!! ME!.

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damian mutters...

Posted December 12, 2014
Start -> Run -> notepad.exe

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damian ducks in to say...

Posted December 12, 2014
He did not wear his chocolate pants
For blood and coffee are brown
And blood and coffee were on his hands
When they found him sitting down.
He sat there on that Aeron chair
With a bowl of coffee grounds.

Respond to this comment

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted December 12, 2014
I want to love but it comes out wrong

I want to live but I don't belong

I close my eyes and I see

Blood and coffee....

I

JG swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 12, 2014
Secret Poets emerge.

Slither forth the grime of squandered youth.

Give heed to la Tribe of Brown Froth. Coffee Frats.

Coffee, blood, Murphy's Law, Bailey's Cream. Blue Vein bleed. OK, no rhythm.

Break the rules. Anarchy.

No! Order!

Coffee.

Squabble less and celebrate the slip. Chop chop. Feel the lust.

Of blood let free.
Grind the coffee. Take the bean. Drip the red.

JG (likes tea and coffee; skim milk please.... occasional awry drink)

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted December 12, 2014
I am more of a plagiarist than a poet (see Blood and Roses by Smithereens).

damian mutters...

Posted December 13, 2014
Oh hey I love that song. That one and 'Behind the wall of coffee'.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted December 13, 2014
Better yet "Behind the Wall of Sleep (there is coffee).

Respond to this thread

Dave W asserts...

Posted December 12, 2014
Can the national Library get one of these, please? I have it on good authority that this would be suitable as part of the John Birmingham collection.

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Spanner is gonna tell you...

Posted December 12, 2014
So...short of stalking and parking outside of JB's house...how does a loyal CBG fan get a signed copy of the Dave for Mr14 for Christmas? Mr 14 has just read the Axis of Time and is nagging me for MOAR books?

DM?

John Birmingham mutters...

Posted December 12, 2014
Spanner, it's officially released on 23 Dec. If you want a hard copy for your boy, I'd hassle your local book shoppe well before then. They often get the boxes a week or so before release.

pi puts forth...

Posted December 12, 2014
ahem... signed?

NBlob would have you know...

Posted December 14, 2014

I haz outsourced my hassling to an irresistible blonde Bobette.

It's all about the right tool for the job.

Darth Greybeard asserts...

Posted December 14, 2014
But people always say you're a right tool? Ohhh "the". Never mind.

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Spanner is gonna tell you...

Posted December 12, 2014
I'll commence hassling.

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Dan ducks in to say...

Posted December 12, 2014

I too have used the Vistaprint service.

We have a small game club in Brisbane and they've printed our mugs, T-shirts and banners. Great prices. And if you sign up for their email, look out for
the specials. Some good deals if you watch what you order...


PS - I am sooooo looking forward to this book. Can I get an ETA in standard paperback? It has to fit in with the collection!

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Bernie mumbles...

Posted December 13, 2014
At this stage I'd like to say that I am in the media..., and I can be contacted off board for the delivery details of my media copy..., that is all.., carry on.

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Therbs swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 13, 2014
Do Unky Rupe's rags do book reviews? Reckon they'd get the joke or would it just confuse the poor dears?

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Darth Greybeard puts forth...

Posted December 13, 2014
Yep. I've used Vistaprint for personalised pads of sticky notes for friends and family. Wife was the envy(?) of colleagues for logo plus "Educator Extraordinaire". One had a background of flames and "OBEY ME" with details as per business card. Bit late for this Xmas but some of you might consider next year?

Respond to this comment

Bunyip mutters...

Posted December 13, 2014
I just the fact you can get stuff custom printed in your own blood. Might be of utility for any *cough* legal types *cough* out there.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan puts forth...

Posted December 13, 2014
As one of the "legal types" here I am compelled to say that I am deeply insulted by your unfair and inflammatory accusation. I want it on the record that I do not want stationery printed in my own blood.

I want stationery printed in the blood of my opponents.

Sudragon mumbles...

Posted December 13, 2014
And bound in their skin too?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted December 13, 2014
Absolutely not. What do you take me for, a monster?

Respond to this thread

Murphy reckons...

Posted December 13, 2014
That is no coffee stain.

That is Bulleit Bourbon!

Darth Greybeard ducks in to say...

Posted December 13, 2014
Bulleit
noun, trademark
  • A whisky-like liquid of American origin. Believed to be distilled from a mash of corn and rye rejected by the Jim Beam™ factory. Various adulterants are added to produce the characteristic flavours of marmalade, bananas, cigar ash and Old Spice.
  • Any substance tending to produce a laxative effect, eg "that curry went through my guts like a shot of Bulleit."
  • Synonyms: Legal Moonshine, Kentucky Gut Cleanser, Murphy's Milk

Merry Xmas Murph

GhostSwirv puts forth...

Posted December 13, 2014

Recovering a from a Bulleit or three to the guts - need coffee and parchment to stem the bloody tears - maybe all I need is a gentle lie down and a bloody good read.

Any suggestions Murph, Darth Greybeard ... JB?

Murphy would have you know...

Posted December 15, 2014
Ghost, gin and tonic maybe?

Dark, thanks! Same to ya!

Respects,
Murph
On the Outer Marches

Nocturnalist has opinions thus...

Posted December 16, 2014
"Bulleit Wiith Butteirfly Wiings" is my favourite Smashing Pumpkins song.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted December 17, 2014
I hate that song and I hate Smashing Pumpkins. They are always copying me.

Respond to this thread

Respond to 'From the desk of Dave Hooper '

The Dave has landed

Posted December 5, 2014 into Books by John Birmingham

Got home from the beach to find these bad boys waiting for me at the front door.

46 Responses to ‘The Dave has landed’

w from brisbane swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 5, 2014
Looks great!
Is this your first book where your name is more prominent than the title? If so, that must be a career landmark. You've earned it.

Respond to this comment

Therbs mumbles...

Posted December 5, 2014
Offer a signed one to Havsy then renege. That's be heaps fkn funny!

HAVOCK21 asserts...

Posted December 6, 2014
THATS FKN NOT!!!!!!

AND YOU just the fkn LIST YA BASTARD!

Respond to this thread

Murphy is gonna tell you...

Posted December 5, 2014
Sweet!

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pi reckons...

Posted December 5, 2014
shweet.

Respond to this comment

Dave W is gonna tell you...

Posted December 5, 2014

I thought you knew something about me when I read that blog title. Still, it's better than thinking about my emergence.


Looking forward to reading this heaps.

Respond to this comment

GhostSwirv ducks in to say...

Posted December 5, 2014

Hope it reads better than you take photos - bloody sideways!

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted December 5, 2014
Talk to Dan about that. The photo is the right way around. The blog insists on tipping it over.

Sudragon reckons...

Posted December 5, 2014
Obviously, the blog has attended an early Christmas party, probably somewhere in the publishing industry, and is now drunk.

Barnesm puts forth...

Posted December 6, 2014
go home blog, you're drunk.

Sudragon ducks in to say...

Posted December 6, 2014
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

The rest of us are looking at the nice policeman who's come to remind us about section 206(1) of the

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted December 6, 2014
Yes? Go on... Section 206(1) of what??

Sudragon would have you know...

Posted December 6, 2014
Section 206(1) of the Law Enforcement (Powers and Responsibilities) Act 2002. This is, of course, if you're looking up at a member of the NSW Police Force.

In Queensland it's Summery Offenses Act 2005, Part 2 section 10 when the size 11 nudges you gently in the ribs.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted December 6, 2014
Oh. I thought you were referring to something very different. Never mind.

damian puts forth...

Posted December 6, 2014
Here, being white doesn't necessarily make it less likely to be taken into custody under such a section. It does, however, make it rather less likely to die in custody. For world-class-competitively horrid values of "rather less".

NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted December 6, 2014
All of section 2 is comedy gold. Public nuisance, intoxication, urination, begging.
Then you get interesting with unlawful assembly
Trespass.
Riding a motorcycle on public lands


https://www.legislation.qld.gov.au/LEGISLTN/CURRENT/S/SumOffA05.pdf#page11

Respond to this thread

pitpat mutters...

Posted December 5, 2014
Early Christmas present for you. It must be fan-fckin-tastic to see the fruits of your labour landing with a satisfying thud on the kitchen table.

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted December 5, 2014
It's pretty good.

Respond to this thread

NBlob puts forth...

Posted December 5, 2014
This, Anabelle & Helen are battling for prime pressie position.

Respond to this comment

Darth Greybeard mutters...

Posted December 5, 2014
When does it hit the shelves? Earliest I've heard was Dec 23rd but Booktopia says Jan 1st. Does Nblob get eaten this time? Pleeease!

Respond to this comment

Rhino asserts...

Posted December 6, 2014
Need to get my paws on that, soonest.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted December 6, 2014
I like this cover better than the American version.

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted December 6, 2014
Why do you hate gay people?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted December 6, 2014
Because they are, on average, happier than I am.

And better dressed.

I hate them for that.

ShaneAlpha mumbles...

Posted December 6, 2014
Don't forget that their homes are better decorated, they're better groomed, they can openly enjoy musical theatre, their friends are WAY more interesting then yours and they have better parties.


Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted December 6, 2014
Yes. For all those reasons I hate them. And I resent the fact that my deep, heterosexual and utterly socially acceptable love for Joan Crawford and Rodgers and Hart productions have been so thoroughly co-opted by those "people."

NBlob asserts...

Posted December 6, 2014
My gay friends don't have kids so they have nice houses, unsullied furniture, sane pets, snow/dive holidays, 2 door cars.
That's why I hate them.

Respond to this thread

damian ducks in to say...

Posted December 6, 2014
Oops I seem to haz pre-ordered the Kindlez ed.
Apparently I get it on December 23.

Respond to this comment

GhostSwirv mutters...

Posted December 6, 2014

Coincidently, when looking at the stars this Christmas, Section 206(1) is also a hitherto unknown part of the redacted chapters of the Shadow Proclamation. The aforementioned boots are more likely to also belong to a member of a constabulary force but one slightly less forgiving and understanding than a Queensland officer on brown paper bag patrol in Schoolies Season.

Can't wait for 'Dave' to be under my tree - 1st offspring works in a Melbourne CBD bookshop - placing order in 3, 2, 1 ...

GhostSwirv

Over and out to see an IMAXed Interstellar - will report momentarily.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 6, 2014
Matthew Mcconaughey is major cute.

AuntyLou mutters...

Posted December 6, 2014
If only he came with subtitles....

Respond to this thread

Darth Greybeard is gonna tell you...

Posted December 6, 2014
Or his acting with subtleties...

Respond to this comment

Maddoug mumbles...

Posted December 6, 2014
Or the Interstellar orchestral soundtrack with a volume control...

Respond to this comment

Boscolamb ducks in to say...

Posted December 7, 2014
Why, oh why do us overseas folk in the USA have to wait until end of April for this book release?!

Oh, the pain...

NBlob puts forth...

Posted December 9, 2014
I just thought it was, excuse me ladies, JB fucking with y'all.

Respond to this thread

WarDog puts forth...

Posted December 8, 2014
Great news John!
Looking forward to the read.

Respond to this comment

JG would have you know...

Posted December 9, 2014
Excellent. Huzzah, JB!

Respond to this comment

Barbuxx would have you know...

Posted December 10, 2014
Will the book definitely be in book stores on the 23rd December? I am hoping to give it to someone for Christmas but QBD (https://www.qbd.com.au/product/9781742614045/emergence/john-birmingham/) is showing 1/1/15.

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted December 10, 2014
I'll be doing signed copies for Riverbend, Avid and Pulp Fiction on 23 Dec.

damian swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 10, 2014
I rather like Riverbend, don't make it over there often enough (actually I think the last time we were there was with Quokka, Mr Quokka and Morgana). Unfortunately our dog will be recovering from surgery (again!). And like I said I already pre-ordered the Kindle ed. :\

Respond to this thread

GhostSwirv mutters...

Posted December 10, 2014
Any chance of a JB half-pike somersault teleport with a backward twist into downtown Melbourne anytime soon for book signing and a pint or two?


John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted December 10, 2014
Not until next year, Mr Swirv.

Darth Greybeard would have you know...

Posted December 10, 2014
Little known fact: JB will buy a pint for every book you get signed.
.
.
.
.
.
Then he drinks it.

GhostSwirv mumbles...

Posted December 11, 2014

Excellent news JB regarding your southern sojourn and no I haven't been sulking - a poor internet connection that's been down for a few daze.

No splodey lightning strikes to blame I'm afraid just 15 year old connections wearing out.

As for Darth Greybeard's reckoning - we shall see what good tidings and good beer the New Year doth bring.

GhostSwirv

Over and out to venture into Twitterland

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Gutz swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 12, 2014
+1 for hoping your signing of teh books becomes a world....tour..er fk it, just bloody come to Canberra at some stage so i can get a signed jobbo. Do not forget about the fortuitous happenstance where we nearly had to make up the quorum at the German Au Pair girl annual general meeting? last time you did a whistle stop visit?

Respond to this comment

Respond to 'The Dave has landed'