Cheeseburger Gothic

Where should Smith and Cady go next?

Posted January 17 into A Girl In Time by John Birmingham

It occurs to me I haven't run a proper spoiler thread to discuss A Girl Time, so I might cheat and have this entry do double duty.

Having figured out the basic mechanisms of The Watch by the end of GIRL, they're now set up to adventure through the 29 alternate realties Titanic Smith created every time he jumped.

We know from the text that some are in the future, some in the wilderness and a surprising number are located in narratively convenient European settings.

He's been to London a couple of times. And Rome obviously. I can't help feeling they'll end up in ancient Greece and Nazi Germany.

But where else would a couple of good looking time travellers be likely to find themsevles in a long running franchise?

Assume it's a spoilerific free fire zone in the comments.

56 Responses to ‘Where should Smith and Cady go next?’

Matthew McNeill mutters...

Posted January 17
Altamont 1969. Counter culture, violence, confusion. The Stones
Hell's Angels.
Really enjoyed the first one. Cheers Matthew

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Surtac would have you know...

Posted January 17
Interesting question. Somewhere medieval? Or back to Calvary Cross? Too brave?

Anyway aren't you supposed to be writing a space opera right now?

I don't care. Just sell me new words to read.

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Jo MacD mutters...

Posted January 17
Early colonial Australia?
What a pain having to write a time travelling woman though. Constantly wearing the wrong clothes or speaking out of turn. I wonder if there could be a future time that's similarly restrictive for Smith? Seems impossible to even imagine.

Ceramic is gonna tell you...

Posted January 17
I think both Smith and Cady would be considered an anomoly in Mesopotamia.

Sumerians of Mesopotamia invented minutes and hours.
Maybe the watch makers could have started there, or a rogue agent could've settled there?

Quote
Sumerian Civilization: Inventing the Future
Before the Sumerians, a day began with the sunrise and ended with the sunset. People went to work from when the sun was positioned at a certain height in the morning sky and returned to their homes when it set. It was the Sumerians who divided the day from the night by time, by increments of sixty-second minutes and sixty-minute hours which made up twelve hours of night and the twelve hours of the day.

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted January 18
The first place Smith landed, which he did not recognise, was Australia, but before human settlement. Abut 50K years ago.

Ceramic asserts...

Posted January 18
I did wonder if it was Australia. Cool.

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FormerlyKnownAsSimon puts forth...

Posted January 17
Far future where their immune systems aren't up to scratch (although Smith is already at a disadvantage for future bugs). Or alternatively somewhere in europe during the plague.

Although it is a massive cliche they can always get caught in ancient mayan culture just when the spanish arrive or about to get sacrificed at an eclipse (even though those guys were meant to be good with calendars and probably had eclipses covered)

insomniac puts forth...

Posted January 17
Didn't Mel Gibson cover the latter in Apocalypto?

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted January 18
Hmm, I somehow have this feeling that the watch is a magic aspirin that cures all ills.

FormerlyKnownAsSimon would have you know...

Posted January 18
I was wondering about disease etc.

And yes Gibson did do this. As well as Mark Twain iirc, and TinTin and Enid Blyton. And a quick google search reveals that Columbus apparently pulled this in real life with a lunar eclipse! I guess the cliche has to start somewhere.

How about a stop over in the far future. Would love to see a bit of speculation. No morlocks though . . . or is there?
Or they drop in (or possibly out) and need to hang out with Dead Heads for 24hrs. Everyone loves a bit of counter culture reference and psychedelic drugs : )

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insomniac mumbles...

Posted January 17
Smith might get a thrill being at the birth of Jebus.
Will he get to see Chester again? That would be nice.

Ceramic would have you know...

Posted January 17
Oh Jebus I hope he gets to see and pat Chester again.

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she_jedi ducks in to say...

Posted January 17
France during the reign of terror. Ancient Egypt in the time of Akhenaten, or Tutankhamen. The Abrolhos Islands during the Batsvia shipwreck :D

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Vovchara is gonna tell you...

Posted January 17
Russia 1917, somewhere around Petrograd. :) Or couple years earlier, to help Stalin rob the Bank.

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Dirk would have you know...

Posted January 17
Europe around 1666 is nice period... Madeira in the 1860's meeting empress Elizabeth of Austria or Paris around 1900. Take your pick

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jl mutters...

Posted January 17
France, Hundred Years War. Berlin, April 1945. The Pan-American Federation, 2342. Wow, so many directions to go here. Or, speaking of the Hundred Year's War, you could get a double hit of plague and ruinous conflict- Calais, 1347. For something nice, agree with Dirk above, Paris 1900-10.

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Rhino is gonna tell you...

Posted January 18
If they land anywhere in the US post 1860, Cady should set up trusts with future investments laid out in envelopes with dates. LOL.

Therbs reckons...

Posted January 18
I was also thinking along the lines of 'Back To The Future" style sports betting cash grabs when they need funds. Mmmm. there'd have to be something stopping them from going crazy with that stuff. Maybe Titanic has a set against gambling and forbids it.

Murphy_of_Missouri would have you know...

Posted January 21
Get stock in Carnegie Steel and Standard Oil.

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Jeats reckons...

Posted January 18
Maybe mention the Rum Corp in our very early colonial history. It would be a bit of a laugh and I doubt many people know about it.

Maybe they could run into Kolhammer and the like before the transition...

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted January 18
This is the second Rum Corps vote. I might have a look at them stopping over in Sydney, however briefly.

jason puts forth...

Posted January 18
If you need some good research check out Leviathan. Should save you a stack in research.

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jason asserts...

Posted January 18
I love a good cross over, World war 2 just after the transition.

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted January 18
This.

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Dave W would have you know...

Posted January 18
18 April 1930. The day there was no news. Cady and Smith just wander around bored for 24 hours. ;-)

John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted January 18
This is also a good idea.

Vovchara is gonna tell you...

Posted January 18
Can never happen, Cady will find troubles by her very own in the middle of the desert ????

MickH mutters...

Posted January 19
yeah, sometimes they need a break or PTSD will set in

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WarDog has opinions thus...

Posted January 18
Hanging Rock to pick up some extras.

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Abe Frellman mutters...

Posted January 18
Deadwood - feels like home to Smith, but something's not quite right. I, too, would put in a vote for Australia. Either Rum Corps Sydney or WW2 Brisbane, with the latter also providing crossover opportunities: HMAS Havoc gets a reprise.

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Lulu ducks in to say...

Posted January 18
Vienna 1913: Hitler, Trotsky, Tito, Stalin in the same city. Also Freud, Klimt, etc etc.

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MickH mumbles...

Posted January 18
Keen to answer this but I'm only half way through the book, so I didn't read all of the spoilers.
I have to say JB that I'm really enjoying this story. IMHO your best yet. Waaay better than Dave

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Therbs asserts...

Posted January 18
In a visit to 15th Century Holy Roman Empire they see one of the new fandangled printing presses being demonstrated by Johannes Gutenberg. Next bounce is late 1990's and Cady notices one of the first e-readers in a store window.

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DaveC swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted January 18
The two of them arrive in a barren landscape with strange alge along the coastline. Then long, strange fish (tetrapods) crawl out of the water to eat bulbs of stringy kelp.
Famennian era in the Devonian period. 375 million years ago-ish. They'd feel a bit light headed from the oxygen levels, but would be fine for 24 hours - except for being weirded out. Admittedly nothing much would happen here. Character development oppertunity?

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MickH reckons...

Posted January 19
If they are bouncing around inside the same realities, can they move up and down inside those same realities?
If this is the case they you can have fun with them changing the future in each and having to deal with the issues that come out of it. Like, say, coming into a later future after Cady saves the day in a primitive society, only to find she is now a Goddess!

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DarrenBloomfield reckons...

Posted January 19
Hobart, NYE 1989. They can bail me up on Constitution Dock and tell me no matter what, don't hook up with the Rebecca chick, coz she's going to cause nothing but years of grief and bitterness.

Perhaps less selfishly, how about 1921 (not sure of date). I reckon Cady would love to nudge this momentous development in women's emancipation.

"Margaret Sanger and Katharine Dexter McCormick meet for lunch, New York One was an Irish-American anarchist rebel, the other a fabulously wealthy member of America’s industrial aristocracy. But they shared, by smuggling contraceptives and, much later, by funding research into the Pill, this strange alliance which did more for women than any conventional political movement. Sanger (above) wasn’t exactly an admirable woman – a bully, a eugenicist and at times a liar – but then big historical change-makers, I’ve noticed, are rarely nice"

link here. https://www.theguardian.com/culture/gallery/2012/sep/15/ten-history-moments-andrew-marr

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted January 19
Nice!

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Nocturnalist puts forth...

Posted January 19
There have been some really cool suggestions for particular moments or events for the two of them to get caught up in, but I can't help thinking that's a card that can be overplayed. If their travels turn into a Forrest Gump-style exercise in "you won't believe which historical even they're going to witness/be a catalyst in next!" it's going to get a bit twee.

Which isn't to say they can't go to cool, dramatic times in history, just that the episodes of "they go to $FAMOUSPOINTINHISTORY and meet $FAMOUSPERSON and accidentally give them the idea to do $THINGTHEYREFAMOUSFOR" need to be carefully rationed.

Like DaveC, I'd be interested in seeing them just end up in some very strange time period and just... soak in its strangeness for a bit. One of my favourite bits of Moorcock's End of Time trilogy, in amongst all the psychedelic zaniness, was Jherek and Amelia just taking a picnic hamper to primordial Earth, kicking back and trilobite-watching.

In terms of big dramatic incidents, I'll nominate the Halifax Explosion of 1917.

jason puts forth...

Posted January 20
While I agree with the comments about this shouldn't turn into a history lesson, i do think that the major events in history generate an energy which draws time travellers to them, much like the brightest star in the sky draws your eye.

Dave W asserts...

Posted January 20
But there's also a risk that it turns into Dr Who, always major events and always running.

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w from brisbane reckons...

Posted January 19
I enjoy a sea tale. Cady and Smith find themselves on a boat: Carribean pirates, smugglers in Asia (pick your century), Ancient Egypt riverboaters, or maybe the Mississippi, or an Ancient Greek trireme.

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Turlogh Dubh O'Brien ducks in to say...

Posted January 20
In no particular (not even chronological) order:
1) The Balkan Wars of 1912
2) The Battle of Kursk, summer of 1943
3) The Santorini Eruption, c.1650 B.C.
4) The Salonika Front, 1917
5) Fall of Constantinople 1453
6) Cochinchina Campaign, 1858-1862
7) ice free Antarctica, c. 35,000,000 yrs ago
8) Byzantine-Norman wars 1040-1185
9) Tunguska, 1908
10) 5 billion yrs into the future, when the sun burns out

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Rob reckons...

Posted January 20
I think they should go to late 80s Brisbane and meet a guy who has way too many flatmates, smokes way too much weed, can't decide which degree to finish and wants to be a writer.

she_jedi ducks in to say...

Posted January 20
THIS! And Cady can tell him all about her years eating rice and sleeping on the floor to get her game off the ground, and how not to give up on his dream of owning a gold plated hovercraft :P

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Murphy_of_Missouri asserts...

Posted January 21
I think they should visit Alexander Hamilton and have him give them a long lecture about what he really meant in the various Federalist Papers he wrote during the effort to ratify the Constitution. That way there will not be the same heartburn over Federalist No 68 that we saw recently.


They might also either aid or block the Aaron Burr conspiracy to set up his own country. Saving Hamilton from getting killed in a duel is optional.

MickH would have you know...

Posted January 22
And then maybe they shouldn't. That's far to american and most others would fall asleep from boredom after reading a couple of paragraphs. Particularly after it would make no sense when America voted in trump.
Maybe a lecture on how an oligarchy works would be more relevant?

Murphy_of_Missouri asserts...

Posted January 23
I don't know. Everyone seemed pretty fascinated with Federalist No 68, enough so that they probably sent sales of The Federalist Papers through the roof. Seems to be the perfect thing.

MickH would have you know...

Posted January 31
i have tried responding to this twice now. they just arn't sticking (or they're being deleted) see how this one goes

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PuffinMuffin ducks in to say...

Posted January 22
They land in our reality, find you and ask if you can send them somewhere else?

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Mac Twain has opinions thus...

Posted January 22
Putting in my Two Cents:
Has anybody heard of Jesus Christ? Have Cady and Smith show up in time to prevent the Crucifiction! Give us the "real" story of what happened. Save this man who is just trying to teach the populous about love, compassion, and faith in God. Start a new timeline where Jesus escapes Crusifiction and the story of a timeline without the influence of the most influential person the world has known. Smith gets shook in his belief in Jesus as Savior and Cady picks up a (little) bit of humility and belief in God from her interface with Jesus.

Or, opposite track. Jesus as a young jew is conscripted into the Roman Legionaires. He is trained in Rome and eventually becomes a Roman Senator. Here comes Cady and Smith to the rescue. Gets Jesus Romanis to get back to Judea to raise the dead, heal the cripple and discovers his true Heavenly Father and Cady and Smith tearfully watch the Crucifixion. Smith has saved the day for his Lord and Cady begrudgingly picks up some belief in Jesus. Oh, and they fight off Pontius Pilate troops single handedly

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted January 23
This idea is well suited to the next reader fiction collection, I reckon. I'd get howled down if I attempted a JC story.

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Brother PorkChop reckons...

Posted January 23
Had my say over the other place but Shogunate Japan around 1605 and the Tunguska event

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DaveC asserts...

Posted January 24
Battle of Omdurman, between the British and the Dervishes (Sudanese Mahdist Army) in 1898 outside Khartoum. One of the large major Cavalry charges in history. Might bring back Smith's Civil War PTSD. Perhaps a young Lieutenant, Winston Churchill, could yell at them from horseback. 'What the blazes are you playing at?' He'd take to Cady because his Mother was an American...

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ronS has opinions thus...

Posted January 24
the penny dropped - just saw Kate and Leopold

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Erko King ducks in to say...

Posted February 6
Sorry late reading book.
How about 1946 alternate reality and King George the VIII does not abdicate and becomes allied to Hitler?
EK

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Unpossible has opinions thus...

Posted February 10
The Hopi indigenous Americans of arizona, around the 1700s. You have got to, got to, see how things play out between them in a matriachal society because Smith is gonna have to do some learning if he is gonna have a chance with cady. Also, playing out a few chapters in post contact but pre 'wild' west is gonna do Smiths' head in, in a major way. Cady is gonna be sorely tempted to step off the train at this station.

Smith: Boy howdy, how do these them here squaw fellas put up with this ma-tri-a-chy?
Cady: Oh, hell, no.

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Respond to 'Where should Smith and Cady go next?'

So, I'm thinking of doing fan fiction collections for AoT and The Disappearance

Posted January 13 into Writing by John Birmingham

Could be a long lead time. Six months for submissions.

Anyone interested?

58 Responses to ‘So, I'm thinking of doing fan fiction collections for AoT and The Disappearance’

insomniac asserts...

Posted January 13
Anyone interested? What sort of question is that? I think you'll be overwhelmed with submissions.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted January 13
Absolutely yes for both.

Dear god, the possibilities are just mind blowing.

There is a bar fight in Honolulu that I've been imagining for years. Years. It is what brought me into your orbit in the first place.

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jl mumbles...

Posted January 13
I think there will be a lot of interest in this. A lot.

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trib swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted January 13
Up for it. Totes.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted January 13
There is already a significant amount of fan fic out there pertaining to the Disappearance universe. I wrote two. The one about the kid alone i Calgary is dear to me. Will be allowed to submit these previous efforts?

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted January 13
There is already a significant amount of fan fic out there pertaining to the Disappearance universe. I wrote two. The one about the kid alone in Calgary is dear to me. Will we be allowed to submit these previous efforts?

Therbs mutters...

Posted January 13
Just don't tell anyone.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted January 13
Too fucking late, you munted wanker.

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted January 13
Resubmission is fine.

Therbs mumbles...

Posted January 13
I'm editing one of my old ones. Lots of red pen scribbles and marks. Very messy.

Therbs ducks in to say...

Posted January 13
Paul, that Calgary one is definitely worthy of publishing in an anthology.

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Therbs asserts...

Posted January 13
Grand idea.

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Peter Bradley reckons...

Posted January 13
Yep, already sketching out ideas!
Yes PNB I am way behind some in that respect!

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted January 13
I have a hunch you gonna catch up fast.

Word to the wise: stay away from graphic descriptions of gay sex. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with it, but I can tell you from experience that JB tends to edit the hell out of it. I'm not complaining. I admit being a bit upset that JB edited all of the gay sex out of my Butte Crack County anthology contribution, but I am man enough to admit it made it a better story.

Peter Bradley is gonna tell you...

Posted January 17
What!!!!! I have just mapped out a magnificent scene of a cavort involving cat masks, peacock feathers and giant cream sponges.

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Aaron is gonna tell you...

Posted January 13
Don't forget the zombie section

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Surtac puts forth...

Posted January 13
Yeah. I'm in.

I'd started an AoT thing some years back but never got around to finishing it.

Sounds like a perfect opportunity to drag it out again and have another go.

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Gilligan puts forth...

Posted January 13
And my axe!

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DaveC ducks in to say...

Posted January 13
Yhup, and yhup.

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jason swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted January 13
Any brief for the stories?

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Vallon Davis mumbles...

Posted January 13
You've read my mind. I'm in, where do I send my submission once it's completed??

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Josh mumbles...

Posted January 14
I'd be interested maybe doing something about the Mediterranean theatre of operations in the AOT universe. I feel like that is quite a blank slate seeing as 3 AOT novels didn't really mention North Africa, Malta, Scilly, Italy etc. However, it could be quite difficult to come up with feasible military operations seeing as now the sides are aware of what happened originally & new tech isn't going to play a big part as it's too soon after the Transition to really get new toys to the front line.

An easier alternative would probably be to cover the battle of the English Channel from the view point of the pilots to fit in with the second AOT novel.

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Edward Osman ducks in to say...

Posted January 14
Stille not able to get Angels of Vengeance in german, need someone for the translation?

P.s. I was asking this years ago.

Greetings

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NBlob puts forth...

Posted January 14
Hmm.
Need to have a little think.

NBlob swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted January 14
Btw,
Carriage
Returns
Now
Work.
Thanks
Dan

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Don Bagert is gonna tell you...

Posted January 14
Oh, yes! I've been begging for an AoT flashback/short story set near the end of Final Impact, which would have Roosevelt, Kolhammer and other higher-ups arguing about whether or not the U.S. should be unloading their nuclear arsenal after the Soviets emptied theirs by dropping their remaining three on Tokyo (which of course, they didn't), so I guess I just better write it myself LOL

I'd also like to write about impact the Transition had on sports in post-war North America.

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AuntyLou mutters...

Posted January 14
Ok...I hate you all...with your writing skills and clever ideas! I can't manage to successfully submit a postcard. JB if you want a rough edit process, I'm your girl. Ready and willing to serve.

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Turlogh Dubh O'Brien reckons...

Posted January 15
Yes. Yes. Yes. I will transfer my mental notes to paper/screen and wait for the day!

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Michael Papagermanos puts forth...

Posted January 15
Absolutely.

When can I start?

John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted January 16
Why haven't you started yet?

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HAVOCK21 asserts...

Posted January 15
FKN BANZAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



FK YES!

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Rhino mutters...

Posted January 16
So, what you are really saying is that I need to dust off my Rhino, Agent of Echelon work?

DarrenBloomfield ducks in to say...

Posted January 17
*like*

Peter Bradley asserts...

Posted January 17
Can I please request a scene that involves the petting of kitty cats?

Rhino swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted January 18
Well, duh. Of course.

Rhino ducks in to say...

Posted January 18
Also, it is meant to be tongue in cheek. Pink Pantherish in fact.

I hope that I can pull it off. LOL.

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MickH ducks in to say...

Posted January 16
Im going to look through the archives and pull out some of the stories I wrote and had posted on the mini burger

I think I lost my "Skip" story though :(

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DarrenBloomfield has opinions thus...

Posted January 17
I so have a story in my head scaled up from some smart alec comment i posted here when they came out - about one thing that would take off downtime would be Twitter - and could you imagine what Stalin's Tweets would look like? Put the Donald to shame!

I'm willing to give it a (butte) crack!

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Dirk ducks in to say...

Posted January 17
I'm pondering a small social economic piece on the situation in Europe. Maybe from the perspective of Willem Drees, for all intents and purposes the Dutch PM in the 1950's. With a few cameo's blended in maybe. I'll pump it over the wires when it's ready JB ...

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Rhino swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted January 18
Oh, shit, the heavy hitters are weighing in.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted January 18
I want to do a tender story of a young girl's coming of age - and then the wave hits! It will be hilarious in a raunchy, sophomoric sense.

Rhino has opinions thus...

Posted January 18
She should see him driving up to get her so that they can elope ... and she sees him driving up and the wave hits ... and it stops before it gets her.

DarrenBloomfield ducks in to say...

Posted January 18
man, that's all poignant and shit. I'd read it.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted January 18
Let me think about it. I adore cosmic practical jokes.

Rhino asserts...

Posted January 19
do eeeeet

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insomniac asserts...

Posted January 18
Is it possible for the wave to just get part of you? Say you had your hand out and the wave came up and turned it to goop but the rest of you was unscathed.

Nocturnalist reckons...

Posted January 18
From memory that'd be a little tricky - it undulated in and out, and wasn't there a report of someone who got too close and it sort of arced out and caught them?

Then again, there are plenty of observations that the Wave was horribly hard to study and draw hard and fast conclusions about, so it might behave differently in different places or under different circumstances.

That or perhaps someone gets just close enough for it to whip out at them and clip their hand but they get away before it gets any further up their arm?

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Surtac mutters...

Posted January 18
I'm gonna go back and revisit the AoT thing I did for the original FanFic Festival all those years ago (if I can find the file - it's at least three PCs ago) and my second piece will be the one I have started but not finished. I can at least remember the basic story for that one.

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Rhino mutters...

Posted January 19
My fanfic from back in the day would be too risque. It had gang dolphin rape.

Therbs ducks in to say...

Posted January 19
I have one which I'm tidying up that includes your character as a key player. I'll forward it to you for clearance prior to submission.

Rhino mutters...

Posted January 20
I'm sure that it will be a dignified and significant role as befits my status.

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Legless has opinions thus...

Posted January 19
I'm up for it.

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Oldy reckons...

Posted January 20
Hell yes!

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MuddyRunner asserts...

Posted January 21
Just finished Butte Crack and was hugely impressed by the ingenuity and creativity of all the contributors. No details because SPOILERS. I wouldn't normally consider attempting to write fiction - tech docs are more my forte - but after BC I would definitely have a go trying out for AoT. In fact, I have the germ of an idea already - something set in Blighty - but no more on that in case someone steals my idea and does a much better job of it :-)

MuddyRunner asserts...

Posted January 21
Two ideas now. God I love the JBverse.

John Birmingham swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted January 23
Go for it.

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Brother PorkChop ducks in to say...

Posted January 23
Yip, on it.

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Butte Crack open for business

Posted January 6 into The Dave by John Birmingham

The retail copy popped up on Amazon overnight. I'm not going wide with this one. Not expecting to see much in the way of sales activity either, since there's a big warning at the front of the book that it can be had for free at the bookclub.

But, if anyone is inclined to drop a review on it, that will help with discoverability.

It's right here.

Or cut and paste this bad boy: http://amzn.to/2j9wUMx

If it should sell a few copies I'll try separate the specific amount from the rest of my operations and maybe see about getting some Amazon vouchers for the contribs. Don't count those Bezos bucks yet, though.

79 Responses to ‘Butte Crack open for business’

nick is gonna tell you...

Posted January 6
about half way thru at the moment , props to all the contributors , favorite so far is the dog chapter !

Rob reckons...

Posted January 9
I thought the dog chapter was tops. He needs to be Dave's super dog. https://youtu.be/MDVLiuto5Ec

Ceramic reckons...

Posted January 10
Yep, the dog was pretty cool. Fire-breathing was a nice touch.

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Peter Bradley has opinions thus...

Posted January 6
Count those Bezos bucks?!?!?!!? Are you kidding me. I am so chuffed to have been included. I felt sure my story would not make the cut. Thanks for the opportuity JB! That is all! Thanks!

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jason swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted January 6
With reference to Bezos bucks; I am happy to forgo any largess on this occasion. Please contribute my share to the JB Hovercraft restoration fund. I hear the gold plating is starting to tarnish.

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insomniac mutters...

Posted January 6
but ... but I already quit my job

Rob is gonna tell you...

Posted January 6
Oh me too.

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jl puts forth...

Posted January 6
Reading through the book in addition to writing like mad (up to about 70k words on latest), fun, good stuff. Congrats to all the contributors!

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Rhino is gonna tell you...

Posted January 6
Review done. Boylan beat me to it this time.

A sincere thanks, JB, for taking time to put this together. It really means a lot.

Of course, rereading my entry, I'm cringing. Can I get a do-over?

jason asserts...

Posted January 6
I don't think a do over is required. I thought your entry was most excellent.

Rhino mumbles...

Posted January 6
Thank you, kind sirs. That is much appreciated.

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Spanner has opinions thus...

Posted January 6
Mutter mutter, something about Greybeard, terrible vengeance, mutter, I've been slandered, mutter.

NBlob reckons...

Posted January 7
My suggestion would be to make the entrance to the buffet via bollards set 1m apart. That'll stuff him.

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Sparty2 has opinions thus...

Posted January 6
Everything I've read in John Birmingham's Butte Cracke so far has been excellent (loved the Millwall story), really chuffed to be in.
(sorry just watched Deadpool and started speaking like him...)

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Morrrie ducks in to say...

Posted January 6
JB you are cunning. Grinding out the good works to keep us hooked! Being a minion has some perks.

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ShaneAlpha is gonna tell you...

Posted January 7
So Butte Crack is currently #132 on Kindle fantasy anthologies.

Which, I presume, is kind of like being in the top 10 for poetry, "Dude! you're in the top 10 for poetry books?" "Yeah, Mum bought a copy."

ShaneAlpha puts forth...

Posted January 7
Only 33 more places to go and we can push https://www.amazon.com/Five-Magic-Spindles-Collection-Sleeping-ebook/dp/B01GIJBMRG/ref=zg_bs_158577011_100?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=M9EPV2CT1WDWYR3HT639

out of #100

jason would have you know...

Posted January 8
We are now 55 with a bullet ( bullet may be fictitious). At what point are we allowed to affix the "best selling author" tag to our business cards?

jason puts forth...

Posted January 8
21st position as I type. I would seriously love to have a #1 best seller. Sure there will be an asterisk at the end of the sentence but I can liquid paper that out at a later date.

ShaneAlpha puts forth...

Posted January 8
Ok, need to clarify here.

Currently #99 on amazon.com and #26 on amazon.com.au in the fantasy/collections and anthologies.

And nowhere on U.K or Japan

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted January 8
I said I'm on it. But don't push me. I've got enough aggravation.

jason has opinions thus...

Posted January 10
Well bugger me we are now at #12. Keep working your magic Prof.

jason ducks in to say...

Posted January 11
Just broke into the top ten best sellers*







insomniac reckons...

Posted January 11
How does that other crap get to be number 1? I'd like to know how it stacks up against our magnificence except I don't think it's worth the 99c to find out.

ShaneAlpha has opinions thus...

Posted February 3
Aaanndd. the Boylan magic has worked.

Butte Crack is now #1 in Collections and Anthologies on Amazon.com.au

https://www.amazon.com.au/gp/bestsellers/digital-text/2537821051/ref=pd_zg_hrsr_kinc_1_5_last/354-7670961-4949565

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Therbs would have you know...

Posted January 8
Just finished reading the collective effort. Some good storifying in there.

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John Birmingham asserts...

Posted January 8
The thing I'm most enjoying about this is the feeling that we're somehow getting away with serious fraud.

Therbs mutters...

Posted January 9
Ern O'Malley and Helen Dimedenko showed us the way.

Peter Bradley ducks in to say...

Posted January 9
Maybe "not so serious" fraud. Is there a category called flippant fraud?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted January 10
In California there is an infarction called "perceptive fraud" that has the following elements: (1) the perpetrators believe they may have defrauded a third party; but (2) this belief is based on low self-esteem engendering the feeling they didn't deserve success that wasn't earned meritoriously.

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Surtac mutters...

Posted January 9
I've just been grinning like a loon all weekend at being described as a 'minty-fresh published writer'.

I'm sure I'll get over it at some point. Eventually. :)

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Peter Bradley has opinions thus...

Posted January 9
So do we need to refer to you as "His Holiness" now?

Therbs has opinions thus...

Posted January 9
That's a fart joke, innit Paul? Something about gloriously passing wind?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted January 9
Therbs - exactly.

Peter - "His Holiness?" Heavens, no.

Call me "Sir."

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Dave W asserts...

Posted January 9
Fantastic work, it was great to read all those contributions and marvel at just how much talent there is here.

In terms of multiple first-person narratives, I was reminded very much of World War Z, and I thought it was very much equal to or beyond that standard.

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DarrenBloomfield mumbles...

Posted January 9
(Butte) cracking read! Well done to all concerned.

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Ceramic mumbles...

Posted January 9
It was fantastic to be included!
The ones sticking in my memory are the one with the grandfather, the monster trucks, the mens vacation and the (two?) Hong Kong ones.
Great to be in your company guys :-)

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Ceramic swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted January 9
And Boylan, your story was fantastic as well!

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Ceramic would have you know...

Posted January 10
Congrats to you all.
I really liked the Kurdaitcha Man. That grandpa was kickass.
Boylan, your truck story made me smile with satisfaction. Nice to have some resolution, no matter how offbeat.
Stuck in my mind still are the stories of the monster truck rally and the man-vacation.
Nice to read your stories :)

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jl asserts...

Posted January 11
Hey everyone, finally had a chance to read the entire book (I just finished writing my latest, the final book in the Paul Thompson series, "Immolation"). I left my review on Amazon. Some really excellent stuff in there. Congratulations, all authors!

Therbs reckons...

Posted January 11
Looking forward to that one. When should it be out?

jl is gonna tell you...

Posted January 11
Hey Therbs, thanks for your review. I appreciate it. Been looking for an opportunity to say so for a while.

I'm in the beta/refining phase now, the book is on track to be released in June.

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Pete would have you know...

Posted January 11
I'd just like to let you all know that I have resisted reading ebooks for years. Always preferred ink on paper, for a whole bunch of reasons (not the least of which was spending a coupla decades in the print industry breathing deeply of the isopropyl alcohol laden atmosphere every single day). Finally relented to read this bad boy. Now I'm a convert. Thoroughly enjoyed Every. Single. Story.

Give yourselves a pat on the back. JB give yourself two.

NBlob mutters...

Posted January 14
+1
Ludditism has its drawbacks

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted January 14
Yeah, but the social life of a Luddite is spectacular. They had that going for them.

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Peter Assfalg is gonna tell you...

Posted January 12
Morning John,
Just started The Demons of Butte Creek County - not by way of criticism, but by way of observation - Sheriff Robertson would have a tough time locating a safety catch on a Glock pistol let alone releasing it - safety is in the trigger only. Equally, muscle memory from training would make a rookie mistake very unlikely, especially from someone who graduated 3rd in their class! Just sayin.

Peter

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DaveC puts forth...

Posted January 12
Just dropped my review. Respect people's. Bad-ass tales brilliantly told. Im'a gunna wade through my responsibilities, crack open the keyboard, and endeavour to join your illustrious company. On ya JB, for sharing tides in the hovercraft!






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DaveC asserts...

Posted January 12
Rides on the hovercraft, damn you again spell chucker!

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted January 12
Oh. I rather hoped it wasn't a typo.

DaveC mumbles...

Posted January 12
I shouldn't complain about auto-correct. You've gotta love all the fangtastic technology (except for that overly effective CSI shit, am I right?).

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Peter swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted January 12
John,

Why is Ann Coulter any scarier than Hillary Clinton or Gloria Steinem? Why do negative references to conservative figures feature so heavily in your books? Whilst everyone has an opinion, some balance may be nice.

John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted January 12
Peter, do you really imagine two New York gay guys are gonna find Hillary scarier than Coulter?

Murphy_of_Missouri has opinions thus...

Posted January 16
That Milo guy might.

Peter mutters...

Posted January 17
I don't think I'm alone in finding Hillary scary! I suspect the New Yorkers would be scared of this behaviour and attitude!

View of Secret Service Agents:
BILL & HILLARY CLINTON: Presidency was one giant party. Not trustworthy — he was nice because he wanted everyone to like him, but to him life is just one big game and party. Everyone knows of his sexuality. She is another phony. Her personality would change the instant cameras were near. She hated with open disdain the military and Secret Service. She was another one who felt people are there to serve her. She always tried to keep tabs on Bill Clinton.
View "Clinton Cash" at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LYRUOd_QoM

The mystery of Hillary Clinton, milk-carton missing on election night, appears solved.
A Tuesday of catharsis for Donald Trump voters turned into an evening of rage for Hillary Clinton. The Democratic presidential nominee, anticipating the postelection reaction of many of her supporters, began shouting profanities, banging tables, and turning objects not nailed down into projectiles.

“Sources have told The American Spectator that on Tuesday night, after Hillary realized she had lost, she went into a rage,” R. Emmett Tyrrell reports. “Secret Service officers told at least one source that she began yelling, screaming obscenities, and pounding furniture. She picked up objects and threw them at attendants and staff. She was in an uncontrollable rage.”

The appearance of campaign chairman John Podesta at Manhattan’s Javitz Center, and the dematerialization of his heretofore ubiquitous charge, perplexed in the first hours of Wednesday.

“They’re still counting votes, and every vote should count,” Podesta declared to a sad and stunned hall. “Several states are too close to call, so we’re not going to have anything more to say tonight.”

As Podesta recalcitrantly refused to recognize reality early Wednesday morning, Hillary Clinton called Donald Trump to offer congratulations. The juxtaposition of the campaign chairman publicly vowing to fight around the time the candidate privately conceded the election left observers scratching their heads.

Tyrrell’s reporting indicates that Mrs. Clinton’s mental state made it impossible for her to address her supporters on election night as custom requests. So, instead, Podesta gave a rah-rah speech on a boo-hoo night to cover for the absence of the first woman president, her fireworks, and her victory speech shout-outs to the mothers of the Black Lives Matter martyrs.

“She is not done yet,” Podesta claimed. Tyrrell’s reporting indicates that, indeed, Clinton remained far from done.

“Her aides could not allow her to come out in public,” he writes. “It would take her hours to calm down. So Podesta went out and gave his aimless speech. I wish we could report on Bill’s whereabouts but we cannot.”

Bill appeared the following day at Hillary’s belated concession speech wearing a purple tie but, thankfully, no purple marks about his face, suggesting experience dictated avoidance the previous evening.

“People say they’re amazed Bill’s marriage survived,” Tyrrell noted to Breitbart. “I’m amazed Bill survived his marriage.”

Tyrrell’s reporting remains a thorn in the side of the Clintons more than two decades after the American Spectator published its Troopergate stories detailing Bill Clinton’s escapades as told by his Arkansas security detail, stories that first referenced Paula Jones and pushed the president on the road to impeachment. Nearly 19 years after Hillary Clinton imagined a “vast, right-wing conspiracy” out to get her husband, the cabal’s charter member again relies on the accounts of the Clintons’ long-suffering security to unmask the public faces worn by the power couple now out of power.

“In the ’90s, we published several pieces that documented her throwing lamps and books,” Tyrrell tells Breitbart. “This happened pretty often. She has such a foul mouth that the Arkansas state troopers learned a thing or two from her. She has a foul mouth and a good throwing arm.”

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted January 17
Nothing published by or affiliated with Breitbart is credible. Same is now true for Huff Post, and for the same reasons.

Peter ducks in to say...

Posted January 17
Paul,

That seems a little judgemental! It seems the liberal left is full of love, acceptance and tolerance until you disagree with them and then you become a gun toting, racist, denier, homophobe and antithesis of political correctness - that highly deluded and mistaken theory championed by the popular press and left wing chardonnay sipping intelligencia and associated bleeding hearts in society who believe that it is actually possible to pick up a steaming turd from the clean end!

Therbs asserts...

Posted January 17
Chardonnay sipping? Pfft. So 90's. Try pinot grigio or an artisanal pear cider. Keep up with the times.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted January 17
I only drink distilled water, or rainwater, and only pure-grain alcohol.

Lulu asserts...

Posted January 17
Peter, if the 'left' has a lot to learn about 'love, acceptance and tolerance' (particularly in the face of disagreement), perhaps you could point us to some role models on the 'right' side of politics.

Dave W ducks in to say...

Posted January 17
Credibility is objective, not judgemental. Check the sources, then check the sources' sources. Why assume that some people sip chardonnay- where are the references for that?

Personally, I prefer an organic barbera or temperanillo, but hey, live and let live, right?

jason mumbles...

Posted January 17
This has seriously strayed from the trivialities and foolishness that I am used to. On the bright side I will now be able to make semi intelligent commentary when next surrounded by people who have actual knowledge of things rather than opinion based facts like I normally use.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted January 17
I regret the comment that invited Alt-right discussion. Won't happen again.

Pete would have you know...

Posted January 17
I'm just looking forward to seeing the awfully long wall Donald Trump promised to build. Because when the revolution starts, an awfully long wall is always useful to have around ...

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foreverwar is gonna tell you...

Posted January 13
Excellent book - well done to all contributors/editors/reviewers.

First review on bezos.co.uk just gone up.

Come on, fellow Brits, let's make Australia great again...

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she_jedi mumbles...

Posted January 16
Finally finished it; there was some amazing writing in there, congratulations to everyone who contributed, I loved all the stories.

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unpossible swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted February 6
Hi JB - i havent commented in years. Remember when that crazy lady bailed you up in Hurstville, NSW on that book signing?

Anyway loved Butte Crack, inspired me to write my own story if theres any follow up. I'll keep an eye out for casting calls. Thanks for fan support!

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jason is gonna tell you...

Posted February 10
Well folks, I have been keeping an eye on it and Butte Crack is still in the top ten* on Amazon Aust after (with my bad math) 6 weeks of release. Made it as far as #2 as far as I could tell.
Perennial best seller.

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted February 10
This is somewhat amazing

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Bleeps001 puts forth...

Posted February 14
It looks like the issue at Butte Creak is much bigger than we thought. It is going to become Butte River is things go pear shape.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-02-14/california-crews-rush-to-relieve-dam-before-new-storms-hit/8268374

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jason is gonna tell you...

Posted February 27
And the periodical check in on the greatest fan fiction anthology ever shows:
Amazon Bestsellers Rank:
#4 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Fantasy > Collections & Anthologies
#47 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Fantasy > Urban

Holding on to that top ten spot.

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jason would have you know...

Posted March 27
Well after languishing in the 40s and 50s for a while the Demons of Butte Crack has rocketed back into the charts at #2*.

Go figure?

insomniac reckons...

Posted March 27
This may be too sensitive to answer, so please forgive me, but what magnitude of sales are we talking here?

John Birmingham swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted March 27
Probably about 10-15 a day. I swapped it's categories a while ago, which gave it a bit more visibility.

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Respond to 'Butte Crack open for business'

Butte Crack comes alive!

Posted January 5 into The Dave by John Birmingham

I just hit send on the mailout and created a dozen or so new minty-fresh published writers. Huzzah.

From the Introduction:

My first book tanked. At first anyway. And then it went on to sell hundreds of thousands of copies, and to be adapted for the stage and the big screen. He Died With A Felafel In His Hand was first published in 1996. The internet was a thing by then, but not much of a thing. Book publishing was still an old world business, yet to be disrupted by Amazon, the torrentz and the Great Recession. I sometimes wonder what might have happened to that book if it was released now.
Nothing good, I suspect.
I was lucky to be published by a small, independent house. Michael Duffy, the publisher, literally bet his own house on the business. A couple of months after release, with only a handful of copies sold, it must have looked like a bad bet. Happily, it did eventually pay off.
A couple of readers picked it up here and there. They told a couple more. Word spread slowly, and then quickly. After about six months it was suddenly an overnight sensation.
I’ve always remembered that. I wrote that book, but the readers made it. All writers live and die by their readers, but not all of them remember that. I try. This book is me, remembering. Over the years I’ve always been open to my readers playing in the story-worlds I make up. I created those worlds because I wanted to see what happened in them. For me, reading a story in my own imagined space, but one which I didn’t write, is a special sort of revelation. I love it.
So, I’m an unusual writer who actively encourages fan fiction. Or ‘reader fiction’, as I prefer to think of it. I’ve read some cracking stories set in all of my fictional universes. It was only this year, dipping my toe into indie publishing, that was I able do something more than just post these pieces as an entry on my blog.
The book you hold now is the first of many more to come, I hope. In that way, it’s a rough draft for the future. I’d like to do more, and I’d like to get better at doing them. If you’d like to try your hand at spending a little time in the worlds of Prince Harry, The Dave or Caitlin Monroe, feel free. If you’d just like to read more stories set after the Transition, the Wave or the Emergence, that’s cool too. So would I.
The stories that follow have been written by some of my blog regulars. I’ve edited lightly, but it’s not a highly polished commercial release. It’s just for fun. And for members of my bookclub, it’s a little gift to say thanks for your time and attention.
I hope you enjoy these stories.
If you’d like to write your own, let me know.

15 Responses to ‘Butte Crack comes alive!’

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted January 5
Well fuck. Is it too late to correct one typo. My fault if no, but if yes:

Page 62 of the draft I have: "These were college kids." Change to
"These were not college kids."

But other than that, you made me look good, mate.

If you are up to it we all gotta do more of this.

John Birmingham mutters...

Posted January 5
Mate, you will be the death of me. I tells ya.

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted January 5
Sorted.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted January 5
I promise to make it up to you, in grand style.

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Therbs asserts...

Posted January 5
Good timing, I till have a few days off so I can leisurely read the output of the Burger Collective. Had a quick look at mine and cringed a tad. Have a better one worked up but its at least double the word limit.
Love the concept, great stuff JB.

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Bernie ducks in to say...

Posted January 5
I bought a copy of Felafel back in 96, and when I got to the section about the hallway golf I had flashbacks, I used to be a motorcycle courier in Sydney back in the day and I'm sure I attended a few parties in that house.
I've been a fan ever since.

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foreverwar would have you know...

Posted January 6
thank you, kind sir.

In the spirit of Pay It Forward, I've bought a copy of Felafel for my son to read on his flight back to Oz (he was over there from the UK for a year, came home for Christmas, and flies back to Melbourne (well, Albury/Wodonga, actually, but he lands in Melbourne) at the end of January for a couple of years.

Keep up the good, nay, great work, JB

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted January 6
Cheers guvnor. Hope Felafel doesn't put your kid off the outside world.

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jason reckons...

Posted January 6
And it's a big thanks from me for making me feel like a real writer. Sad about the couple of stories that didn't make the cut but amazing to see my stuff in a genuine publication.

Gotta say I loved reading everyone's contribution.

John thanks for letting us play in your world for a little while.

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted January 6
Jason, the only reason I had to cut a couple of yours was it looked weird that HALF THE STORIES IN THE BOOK WERE WRITTEN BY ONE GUY.

There'll be more books for them to go in.

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jason would have you know...

Posted January 6
No problems John. Figured that might be the case.

The down side is i promised myself I would get a tattoo as soon as I had any sort of publication. Looks like I am off to the needle shop pretty soon.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted January 6
How about a large American flag waving in the just and free breeze? That's the tattoo I would choose if not for the instruction in Leviticus mandating death for all who defile their bodies with a tattoo. If not for that I would have a picture of Old Glory on my chest right now.

insomniac puts forth...

Posted January 6
I would like to make two points.
1. My wife is not that old, and
2. Why would you have a tattoo of her on your chest?

Rob mutters...

Posted January 6
maybe get an old persuader tattooed on you, Not me though I stick to pin up girls, fish and Picasso.

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jason ducks in to say...

Posted January 6
Predictably I am looking at a typewriter on my forearm. Symbolic and aspirational. Also Old Glory would be inappropriate as (based on this thread) it represents another man,s wife or a country that I don't happen to live in.

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Respond to 'Butte Crack comes alive!'

Grab an advance copy of Butte Crack

Posted January 4 into The Dave by John Birmingham

I haven't settled on the final copy yet, but this is pretty close. I'd like to,send it out tomorrow. If you have a story in there, give it the once over for any howling errors that might have crept in.

Copy available here.

Or just cut and paste this link:

http://dl.bookfunnel.com/xvn69bofer

It took a lot longer than I'd hoped because of formatting issues. Looking at you, Sparty. I also disinterred a bunch of fan fic from the blog which I was tempted to run, but didn't. Maybe a second volume.

I'd like to do more of these in future, now that I know what's involved.

Anyway, if the contributors have changes, let me know below.

17 Responses to ‘Grab an advance copy of Butte Crack’

Sparty2 would have you know...

Posted January 4
Bows head in shame.
Spotted some mistakes (mine ) I'll send on asap.

MUST focus on work (and not goofing off to read this ) -the entire book looks really good - really pleased to see it up!

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted January 5
Wahoo. Can't wait.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan puts forth...

Posted January 5
Loving it. The world of "the Dave" expanding outward.

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sparty2 asserts...

Posted January 5
Great story Boylan- this constant reader enjoyed it

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted January 5
Thank you. I had significant help.

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jason swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted January 5
Looks like my afternoon suddenly became booked out.

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Jevon Kasitch ducks in to say...

Posted January 5
Not sure if they count as typos, but in your own story you use British-isms to describe the car parts 'tyre' 'bonnet' 'boot'. For story set in the US with US characters they seem a touch jarring. My apologies if this was intended.

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted January 5
No, it's not. What are the US terms? Wheel, hood and trunk?

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Jevon Kasitch asserts...

Posted January 5
Tyre = Tire if you just mean the rubber part. Wheel for general coverage of the Rubber and metal rim together.

Bonnet = Hood

Boot = Trunk

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted January 5
Cheers.

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insomniac swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted January 5
I've got a double "enough" in my story somewhere.

Given I dashed these off basically as a first draft I now see the great value in a second rewrite and editing. Thanks for adding a few deft touches to my story.

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Surtac mumbles...

Posted January 5
Ok, just checked my contribution. It's a little different in some places to what I submitted but not substantially so and I think I can understand why the editorial changes were made (happy to discuss John if you have a spare five minutes sometime).

I note the Firefly reference came out, but the Neal Asher one is still there. :)

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted January 5
Serious fun, dudes and mates. I am honored to be included in such a talented crowd.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted January 5
John, I caught only a couple of typos. Do I identify them here or via email?

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Rob mumbles...

Posted January 5
awesome. I knew the ending wouldn't stand as originally written. Otherwise the continuity of the Dave would be wrecked.

There is a typo. "lotto panel damage' should be 'lots of panel damage? '

That story was bought to by the Tasmanian Government, sponsors of wannabe artists pretending to work (but really writing short stories and dicking around on the internet)

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Ceramic would have you know...

Posted January 5
Oh bugger, I missed this post. Aah, I had already said I couldn't work on fiction just then didn't I.
Never mind. I like what you did there - setting the context of the seminar.
It was really nice to see my name in print ????
Thanks for the opportunity JB.
????

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ShaneAlpha mumbles...

Posted January 5
JB's magic blue pencil excised some utter crap from one of mine (thank god.) Ended better and also removed a whopper of a mistake that I didn't pick up on until I read the published version today.

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Respond to 'Grab an advance copy of Butte Crack'

"SEAGULLS! (Stop It Now)" -- A Bad Lip Reading of The Empire Strikes Back

Posted January 3 into Funny by John Birmingham

This may be their finest work yet.

5 Responses to ‘"SEAGULLS! (Stop It Now)" -- A Bad Lip Reading of The Empire Strikes Back’

Rob would have you know...

Posted January 3
how good are puppets? so good. CGI just isn't the same.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted January 4
Damn, haven't laughed like that since Trump won. Thank you, John.

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pedrogb swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted January 14
I was introduced to this on Boxing Day by friends in Sydney. My kids watched it over and over. They now like to sing it in the car. Hilarious.

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DNA Dunc reckons...

Posted January 15
Seems like some people have too much free time on their hands - which is just as well, or we wouldn't have class nuggets like this. Brilliant. Laughed like a drain

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted January 15
These brilliant artists are doing this for profit.

Take a look at "Bushes of Love" by the same blokes.

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Respond to '"SEAGULLS! (Stop It Now)" -- A Bad Lip Reading of The Empire Strikes Back'