Cheeseburger Gothic

The Premier's pay rise

Posted April 1, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

How do you trouser a seventy grand pay rise? With a big smile if you're Campbell Newman.

At Blunty.

8 Responses to ‘The Premier's pay rise’

Quokka puts forth...

Posted April 1, 2014

Heh heh heh.

Nice one JB.

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insomniac ducks in to say...

Posted April 1, 2014

And the monster on the left is ... ?

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MarkatVAVS swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 1, 2014

Definately a bit more than the 3 percent we had to fight for last year.

(mental image, The Premier and a long walk on a short pier)

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Barnesm ducks in to say...

Posted April 1, 2014

I am sorry but the use of a still from the universally derided 1993 live action Super Mario Bros film invalidates any arguement you make.

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Conspiracy Cat ducks in to say...

Posted April 1, 2014

Don't fret. I hear tell the payrise will be funded with paper bags full of unmarked bills. Some delivered by large and sweaty, leather-clad and tattooed gentlemen on two-wheeled vehicles. Others delivered by large and sweaty, besuited gentlemen awaiting corporate heart attacks. There might have even been enough schmooze money left in those paper bags to fund an extra hospital bed or two, but I think Newman got wind of Naoum's drone idea, and wants a fleet with his own face on the side, to fetch his lunch on the days he shows up at work.

Cynic? Me? What on earth gives you that idea?

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JG mutters...

Posted April 1, 2014

Spitting image, right down to the beady eyes and piranha teeth.

Newman's job cuts from when he was made Premier to now (and presumably continuing ad nauseum) will fund the hefty pay rises.

Forget about health care, education, child care, the socioeconomically disadvantaged blah de blah. Lining the weekend spending kitty for politicians is Queensland's top priority.

Because Campbell's worth it.

spewfffttt.

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JBtoo reckons...

Posted April 1, 2014

I was hopng this was the April fools' post

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damian has opinions thus...

Posted April 1, 2014

I'm acting up again, this time for several months. It's busy enough that I maxed out flex within a few days of starting. So I'm now routinely pulling several hours unpaid overtime a week and for some reason this seems perfectly normal. Oh, there's a pay rise to go with that, which I guess works out about enough to cover a few extra cups of coffee a week (much needed) and while I'm not sure exactly how well I like manglement space yet, it seems to like me well enough (if a little over-vigorously at times).

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Arise, Baron Mugabe

Posted March 27, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Sir Anthony Abbott promised us a Golden Age of Satire, my friends. And he has delivered. Forsoothe he didst provide two blogs for the price of one, and one of them early:

Sir Joh Bjelke-Petersen, the disgraced and deceased premier of Queensland would have heartily, if incoherently endorsed Tony Abbott’s disinterring of the imperial honours system. His corrupt, convicted former police chief ex-Sir Terry Lewis will be giddy with excitement, never having felt quite right about having his first knighthood stripped away with his belt and shoelaces at the prison gates.

Perhaps Sir Terry could arise again. After all, it must be dreadfully embarrassing to be lumped in with the Annulled Honorary Knights Grand Cross of the Order of the Bath Sir Nicolae Ceau?escu, Lord Robert Mugabe and Baron Benito Mussolini

At Blunty.

If you're wondering why I went back for a second bite of this sweet, sweet cherry, it's because Fairfax asked me to. A day early.

3 Responses to ‘Arise, Baron Mugabe’

pi mutters...

Posted March 27, 2014

I think there's only one word that can convey the sentiment that comes bubbling up with all of this... stuff.

derp.

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Dino not to be confused with reckons...

Posted March 27, 2014

c2-. e3

Knight takes Bishop.

You are sooooo busted JB!

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/laughter-canned-speaker-bronwyn-bishop-rules-new-tactic-of-infectious-laughter-out-of-order-20140327-35jv0.html

'Multi-Universally Warned'

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JG mumbles...

Posted March 27, 2014

Mr Abbott's ears are getting bigger, pointier, and pinker over time. I fear he is turning into either Pinnochio inverted or the Easter Bunny. Bummer.

Lady Joanna waves, white lace gloves untainted by rabbit kisses.

Arise, yon dastardly surly JB.

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Dropbears and sticky pants, a G20 threat assessment

Posted March 20, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Minutes of a Double Secret Meeting

Premiers Department.

Re. G20 or Possibly G19 Security Arrangements

Attending: Premier, Police Commissioner, Police Minister

The meeting was called to order by the Premier who wanted to know why the internet was still running around freely in his state given all the threats he’d been getting from the internet.

The Minister assured the Premier that his men assured him they were all over the internet and the Commissioner knew they weren’t lying because every time he looked out his office the others were all gathered around the big computer out there pointing at something on the internet.

At Blunty.

5 Responses to ‘Dropbears and sticky pants, a G20 threat assessment’

Lulu puts forth...

Posted March 20, 2014

Maybe we could include a warning for Putin that there are Ukrainian dropbears; gay Ukrainian dropbears.

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dweeze swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted March 20, 2014

Whether or not it was intended, you oopsied a few pars from the end. In the current glorious weather, my wethered South American camels dont know whether they are wooly or wearing the wheat bags.

WE, THE pedants ARe worried...

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Quokka reckons...

Posted March 20, 2014

I can't be arsed logging in to comment - since I know if I do I'll end up with spam, spam and more spam - but I feel duty bound to remind our illustrious guests that when you shave a drop-bear, you get a bogan.

tqft ducks in to say...

Posted March 20, 2014

I got a few good laughs with that a while back (it may have been you I stole it from) - Aussie backpackers are shaven dropbears tattooed with a southern cross and sent overseas until they are civilised.

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JG reckons...

Posted March 21, 2014

You forgot the giant gekkos and the Brisbane River monster that lives under Brisbane's bridges. And the giant squids that creep ashore. You never know what's below that calm, brown river.

By the by, I heard that Brisbane's new underground transit station will be called BAT. I heard it from a distance on the news and thought at first that theQueensland Premier called it the Back Tunnel, which I instantly translated in my mind to be the Back Passage aka the Bum Route. Sad story.

Luckily the BAT Tunnel won't be built before the G20 Summit this year. The delegates would be swallowed whole, never to appear again; eaten by that bad, dark place at the bottom of Brisbane.

JG, still training hard for my first full marathon on the Gold Coast in 2014 (in advance for when public transport becomes too expensive).

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Will you miss us when we're gone?

Posted March 18, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

From Blunty.

Move along, nothing to see here.

Stepping away from the all of the issues captured by a thousand different placards on Saturday and Sunday, the systemic failure to recognise the significance of the story speaks to a deeper fear I have about the news media, which is not that we might die out as Google gorges itself on the last scraps of our advertising based business model… but that it won’t matter.

That you won’t care, and that there will be no reason to care.

Because we failed you, long before we failed to do our jobs. There's a case to be made that new media, in the form of professional blogs and even some of the better amateur sites, have already embarrassed us in a dozen different specialist areas that used to compromise the various desks of the old metro dailies; sport, fashion (the 'ladies pages'), entertainment, science and tech, international politics, maybe even national politics. But the meat and potatoes of local coverage? No, that still belonged to us. Or I thought it did. Increasingly, however, I wonder whether the question, "Will you miss us when we're gone", is one which answers itself.


22 Responses to ‘Will you miss us when we're gone?’

beeso mutters...

Posted March 18, 2014

Even the ABC, which has always done a pretty good job of "state the facts" bog arse reporting seems to have caught the disease of having to tell a narritive with every story.

I know that Fairfax and the Oz still think they rule our hearts and minds, but i wonder if they dissapeared for a month would anyone really, really care? Other than the people making money producing them?

On the other side of the coin, Nate Silver launched his site today and the opening statement is a shot across the bows of the Jones/Bolt/Ellis methodology. If only, please god, Oz could produce a Grantland or FiveThirtyEight.

Lulu puts forth...

Posted March 18, 2014

I would care (about Fairfax, at least).

insomniac would have you know...

Posted March 18, 2014

Speaking of bog arse reporting on the ABC, on two occasions, once when he died and for his funeral, the jockey, Roy Henry Higgens, who was nicknamed The Professor, had the origins of his nickname described once as "the unlikely nickname of", and again because of "his studious approach to racing", when the real origin is as plain as anything to someone with the remotest interest in film and literature. Are the reporters just dumb or is it related to young people living their lives with their heads shoved up their iPhone's arse at all times?

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beeso puts forth...

Posted March 18, 2014

Really? Fairfax may not have the insidious hand of the sith lord trying to influence Oz politics, bt the quality of their content ranges from Meh on a good day to mind numbingly stupid the rest of the time. Their masthead is a joke.

Lulu mumbles...

Posted March 18, 2014

The website and the dead-tree versions can be very different, and the website has an inclination towards clickbait which would shame a downmarket tabloid. It's a matter of resources. Someone has to put money into reporting, coverage etc, and that affects the international arena as well. For example, I don't want to just read opinion pieces on why Russia is being a baddie/goodie in Ukraine. I want reportage on what's happening, context, historical perspective etc. That needs resourcing, whether Fairfax is putting reporters on the ground, or buying articles/material from other news organisations who have reporters there.

Luke Sleeman mutters...

Posted March 19, 2014

" For example, I don't want to just read opinion pieces on why Russia is being a baddie/goodie in Ukraine. I want reportage on what's happening, context, historical perspective etc."

Owww, you should read the Interpreter, blog of the Lowy institute for international policy

http://www.lowyinterpreter.org/

Lots of good stuff in there!

John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted March 19, 2014

Yeah, I link to them occasionally

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Carmen mumbles...

Posted March 18, 2014

Not one bit.

I long ago stopped taking notice of what msm says.

Even ABC is now a total joke in the news and current affairs sort of programes. I no longer bother with them. They have become a mouthpiece for the LIEBERALS. They stymie anyone not sympathetic to them.

Have not bought a newspaper for at least 30 years. Full of rubbish and adds.

Social media and personal observation are my sources now.

Although the net is slow as a wet week most times. Malcolm Turnbull you will stand to be condemned and ridiculed long into the future.

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w from brisbane mutters...

Posted March 18, 2014

One thing I have noticed is that the MSM is always wrong. I spent decades in the federal public service. Every time I read MSM coverage on the hows and whys of policy and legislation that I knew well, the MSM was wrong. It was a lot wrong.

I would consider myself a bit of a leftie. The main people I would discuss public affairs with would be other lefties. On the policies and policy histories I knew a lot about, I have never come across people more wrong than my fellow lefties. Their cherished and unshakeable convictions about government policy history, successes and failures, what works and doesn't, was mostly absolute rubbish.
I don't doubt the right is much the same.

I have a friend who is very senior in State government. Yep, I can assure you that the common and MSM understandings of what is really going on are dazzling incorrect.

This makes me think that I am probably wildly incorrect about virtually everything too, except a few narrow items that I am only a little incorrect about.

So, I think it is important to remember that, whatever you are reading, it's wrong.

Conspiracy Cat mutters...

Posted March 18, 2014

And often, deliberately wrong - especially when there is an agenda to push.

Bill reckons...

Posted March 19, 2014

Sorry about the previous post - I'll try again.

What you describe is the Gell-Mann Amnesia effect: http://pic.twitter.com/BkJNOCoHIJ

John Birmingham ducks in to say...

Posted March 19, 2014

Sorted

w from brisbane asserts...

Posted March 19, 2014

Bill, The Gell-Mann amnesia effect, that's excellent.

Of course, we have relied on the MSM to have the time, skills and professionalism to be less wrong than the ignorant opinionated blowhard sitting next to you on the bus. Which is who you are listening to in 99% of blog/twitter comment. That is probably still the case, though the gap seems to be deliberately narrowing. Still, I don't like to imagine a cultural life without the ABC (particularly Radio National), the BBC and their ilk.

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Therbs has opinions thus...

Posted March 18, 2014

I'd miss Blunty. Maybe a couple of other things but no, I don't miss it. The ABC website is useful for major headlines but most of them you get from a quick look at Twitter.

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Surtac reckons...

Posted March 18, 2014

No I won't miss the MSM. I already ignore it. We're down to one newspaper here at Chateau Dysfunction, and that one is for the chop when the current sub expires. Also, I don't watch tv and refuse to listen to commercial radio.

I get my news from my twitter feed and my Old Reader blogroll feeds, both of which host a range of of ideological positions so that I'm not just self-reinforcing my own preferences by ignoring other opinions. It's not reducing my overall levels of cynicism though.

Btw, you do realise that 'cynic' is just a shorthand way of saying 'experienced ICT professional' don't you?

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Halwes mumbles...

Posted March 18, 2014

I read the SMH, Helen Razer's Bad Hostess ( because I like my world view to be challenged ) and CG but these usually reinforce what I already know or believe anyway. This is useful for me in the adverserial society that we now live in. Two party preferred is usually about 50 - 50 so half of us don't agree with what the other half are saying. If either side gives any ground in the argument then two party preferred swings to 51 - 49 and someone loses. As for the ABC ( which I love), they are shit scared of the Libs so they suck up to them big time. They have no reason to be scared of Labor and crucify them at every opportunity.

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Conspiracy Cat is gonna tell you...

Posted March 18, 2014

I'd miss MSM. How would we know what to be outraged about at the water cooler otherwise?

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Stephen reckons...

Posted March 18, 2014

Putting on my grumpy old man hat - "and the spelling and grammar were better in my day as well".

"compromise the various desks" - lovely freudian slip there :)

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S.M. Stirling reckons...

Posted March 19, 2014

Generally speaking, elections in a democracy indicate the balance of opinions in the population quite closely.

This is often hard to admit, because most people hang out with those who agree with them and hence tend to overestimate their numbers. The Internet has exaggerated this tendency, but it's always been there.

There's an old joke here in the US about a lady from the Upper West Side in New York who exclaimed that she couldn't believe Reagan got elected honestly -- nobody -she- knew had voted for him.

Getting out in the street with some friends and waving signs doesn't increase your numbers or significance either; it just sooths instinctual needs for Mass Tribal Dancing.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted March 19, 2014

I understand and accept the view that much of the political process boils down to an expression of the instinctive need for mass tribal dancing. I just wish the accompanying music was better.

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Blarkon mutters...

Posted March 19, 2014

When we stopped paying for professional journalists, we stopped getting professional journalism.

Lulu reckons...

Posted March 19, 2014

True, that.

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Your last beer on earth

Posted March 13, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

41 Responses to ‘Your last beer on earth’

pi swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted March 13, 2014

Gotta be said... I do love a Grolsch

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted March 13, 2014

It isn't so bad with a squeeze of fresh lime.

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DNABeast reckons...

Posted March 13, 2014

I have a medical reaction to XXXX Gold. Like my body is rejecting it.

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Murphy mutters...

Posted March 13, 2014

Bulleitt 10 year Bourbon.

If you are going to check out, go uptown for it.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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insomniac asserts...

Posted March 13, 2014

I recently bought a bottle of wine up in the Hunter after going to see Bruce, called Vin de Vie by Audrey Wilkinson. It's delicious but the name brings up a Catch-22 situation.

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Rhino reckons...

Posted March 13, 2014

Bombay Sapphire martini. Dry. Twist.

damian mumbles...

Posted March 13, 2014

I say Mr Rhino I find your argument persuasive and would like to subscribe to your pamphlet.

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JBtoo has opinions thus...

Posted March 13, 2014

Something Belgian - maybe a Hoegarden in summer, a Duvel in winter.

Last beer on Mars could be a different matter entirely.

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w from brisbane reckons...

Posted March 13, 2014

XXXX Gold is for people who really like beer. People for whom 12 stubbies a day is really just a starting point. Cost and survivability become very important. In this situation, XXXX Gold is an excellent drop.

For people who don't really like beer, that is people who might just have a few beers a few times a week, then you can have your Ye Olde Belgian Atomic Wedgie Ale. It doesn't really matter what you drink.

Rob has opinions thus...

Posted March 14, 2014

I always associate certain drinks with good times , so everytime I drink a xxxx I think of going to a nice cheap aussie pub on the gold coast and buying a nice meal and drinking xxxx in the heat with my kids. So when I'm back in Tas in the thick of winter and the food is expensive and the people are mean. XXXX is for me.

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Mayhem's Mum swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted March 13, 2014

One is fond of a shandy now and again. My Lord and Master Greybeard (Keeper of the torch, Tamer of Rats, Grand High Priest of Fine Beverages) thoughtfully leaves me the occasional six pack of XXXX Gold in his wheelie bin whenever his worshippers bring it to his home as a tribute.

It is not so common an occurence of late. One has difficulty extricating oneself from the cardboard tea chest one currently calls home to examine the wheelie bin contents. My Lord and Master is not only discerning with beverages, he also purchases only the best quality packing tape.

Darth Greybeard ducks in to say...

Posted March 14, 2014

Fear not my grey and grisly guest, soon you'll be unpacked into a new and commodious dungeon in beautiful suburban Ringworm. To celebrate we'll give you the edible beeswax candles and a six-pack of VB. Won't that be nice? Mayhem sent you a cake but all the grass died within a 2m radius of the box and the postie is still in the ICU so we gave it to the local Kindy instead.

w from brisbane asserts...

Posted March 14, 2014

How apposite. The home of the Pride of Ringwood. The famous (infamous) hops that give Australian beer their taste. Used it just about all our quaffing beers, except XXXX. XXXX preferring Golden Cluster hops.

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Bangar mutters...

Posted March 13, 2014

Last beer would have to be a Cooper's of the Vintage variety.

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dweeze asserts...

Posted March 13, 2014

Seeing as how the slitheries are only out in summer, mine would be a lightly chilled Duvel or maybe a long neck of Weihanstephaner Hefeweissbier. Failing that, one of my local mates (Strathbogie Brewing) has started producing a rather quaffable wheat beer.

If I somehow got bit in winter, the finest last drop would have to be long neck of La Maudite - I've not drunk better.

You know, all this talk of snakeypoos will proably bring one in to my face today. Ony 14 sightings near the house this summer and it has been some weeks since I heard the hiss.

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Brother PorkChop is gonna tell you...

Posted March 13, 2014

Beery Stuff - Kilkenny

Wine - 04 Picardy Pinot

Spirit - Angostura 1824 Rum

or an icy Loch Castle licor manzana verde

or Agavero El Original Licor de Tequila

or preferably one of each please, just before I go.

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Barnesm has opinions thus...

Posted March 13, 2014

Daryl would say peach schnapps should neither be your first or your last alcoholic drink.

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Jerie is gonna tell you...

Posted March 13, 2014

Just a plain, simple Heineken...

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w from brisbane reckons...

Posted March 13, 2014

Two people I know had last beer incidences.
One of my mates, in hospital dying of emphysema. A very entertaining man and an inveterate barfly. He was brought in to hospital and was on his last few days. Another friend was visiting him and it became obvious that Graham didn't realise that he was soon to die. My friend went out to the nurse's station and asked what is going on, Graham doesn't realise he's not coming out of here alive. A nurse said, Right!, went to Graham and laid out the reality very bluntly.
Graham said, "Well. I guess I had better have a beer then." I think my friend got him a VB. Graham had lived in Queensland for 35 years but always considered himself a Victorian. He died within the week.

Another bloke, my father-in-law, was dying of Leukemia. He expressed a wish to his wife that he wanted a beer and he thought he wanted a stout. Neither he and his wife were big beer drinkers but his wife came to me for assistance. I bought them a tallie of Guinness. His wife and he shared the Guinness by his bed. She said it was great. He was dead within 3 days.

In both cases, I don't think it was the beer that killed them.

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damian would have you know...

Posted March 13, 2014

Testing... grrr... spit

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damian puts forth...

Posted March 13, 2014

What I had tried to say, which wasn't nohting, I wouldn't try to post nothing, was that I would like to refer to this without comment. Not that I can't comment about it, but if I did it wouldn't make it any better.

NBlob swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted March 14, 2014

Testify Comrade D

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sibeen ducks in to say...

Posted March 13, 2014

Let's face facts, If you're about to fly off the perch in the next 30 minutes or so then the best beer is the bloody nearest. Now, saying that, i wouldn't have a xxxx in my fridge for love or money, so I'd be reaching for what is guaranteed to be in there, a lovely Abbotsford Invalid Stout.

Of course my wine fridge is also next to the beer fridge, and at the bottom of that I have a few bottles of Wild Duck Creek '96 Duck Muck. Just the thing when you know you've only got 30 minutes or so to go.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted March 14, 2014

"Let's face facts, If you're about to fly off the perch in the next 30 minutes or so then the best beer is the bloody nearest."

Cannot, cannot, cannot argue with that.

Bangar mutters...

Posted March 15, 2014

So what you're saying is keep good beer on hand at all times!

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Babes asserts...

Posted March 14, 2014

I'd go with La Chouffe, I think.

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Trashman swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted March 14, 2014

For those of us who don't drink and live in Gods Own Country (Scotland, if you had to ask!) - a cold Irn Bru right out of the fridge.

w from brisbane mutters...

Posted March 14, 2014

Dear Trashman

Can you describe the flavour of Irn-Blu?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted March 14, 2014

Reminiscent of oat cakes, with haggis notes and a black fruit finish.

w from brisbane mutters...

Posted March 14, 2014

Someone said it tastes like sweet jam, with some seaweed.

Lulu mumbles...

Posted March 14, 2014

Deep-fried Mars Bar, with a salt-and-vinegar crisps finish.

NBlob mutters...

Posted March 14, 2014

With due respect to one of the greatest nations of engineers & thinkers, Irn Bru tastes like arse. Clyde-side navvies arse.

And while I'm at it Chips (hot deep-fried potato to avoid the crips / chips argument) should not be cooked in bulk & sit in a warmer for an hour. Chips should make noise when you eat them. A fair fraction should shatter when you bite down. These saggy, flacid, pasty abominations, as I was served in Edinborough, Must Stop.

Trashman mumbles...

Posted March 16, 2014

Philistines, the lot of you!

Chips that shatter are overdone by definition. They should also be covered in salt and chip chop sauce. (Brown sauce diluted with vinegar). If you're feeling sophisticated, covered in grated cheese as well. That's got to cover most of the food groups surely?

Irn Bru is hard to describe - sweet but has a bite in the aftertaste. I've heard it described as tasting like bubble gum but I don't agree. Best cold out the fridge. According to a recent interview even Scarlett Johansson likes it!

It outsells Coca Cola in Scotland and, I believe, Russia, strangely enough. It goes well with vodka (called a Girder), which might explain that.

Also, it's the only hangover cure I've heard of!

All in all (as you may have heard) we like to eat healthily in Scotland...

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Brother PorkChop puts forth...

Posted March 14, 2014

Or creaming soda.... but sweeter.

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Rob has opinions thus...

Posted March 14, 2014

I would have to go a xxxx or a VB. I was introduced to Aussie beers when living in New Zealand by an Aussie TV producer. I think it was the only reason he made commercials was for the slab of beer at 4 pm. Anywho moved to Australia and I just kinda stuck with those. So yeah I would ask for a VB over a boutique beer or one with a nice packet.

My name is Rob and I like Aussie mass produced beer.

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Darth Greybeard mutters...

Posted March 14, 2014

I'd probably go for a Beamish Stout which, along with Murphy's, I prefer to Guinness. That's if it had to be a beer. Otherwise any good single malt would be the thing. There are so many and I love them polyamorously.

Also, on the only occasions I've been bitten by a venomous snake I was at work and there was NO BEER. After the bandaging I had to make do with a coffee and a panadol. Made up for it when I got home though.

sibeen puts forth...

Posted March 14, 2014

BEAMISH...OMG.

I tried one down in the south of Ireland one time. Thought I must, as I was in the country and all that. Once finished the barman looked at me and enquired whether I'd like another.

"Not in this lifetime" was my snooty reply. Gad, it was ghastly.

A murphy's on the other hand - that's mothers milk.

NBlob asserts...

Posted March 15, 2014

Strong mental image of a viper hacking-up hair ball style, "I'll never get that taste out of my mouth."

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Bangar mumbles...

Posted March 14, 2014

Have you tried Sheaf Stout?

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Anthony puts forth...

Posted March 14, 2014

I'd have one of the last half-dozen Nogne o 100% Peated I have in my fridge. Especially if I don't have time for a whisky as well. It has the taste of Ardberg whisky and one is usually enough. It's a rather interesting norwegian beer at 8%. And what other beer has "Almost Undrinkable" stamped across the label,

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damian swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted March 15, 2014

On relfection I think if you can only have one, you still want some fortification for the journey ahead, which means I'm going for Carlsberg Elephant or Weihenstephaner Vitus, though Beamish or Kilkenny by pint sounds reasonable as well (and the bonus of being a decent meal).

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Respond to 'Your last beer on earth'

Advice upon finding that your staunch opposition to strip clubs has led you to vote for more strip clubs

Posted March 11, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

9 Responses to ‘Advice upon finding that your staunch opposition to strip clubs has led you to vote for more strip clubs’

S.M. Stirling mumbles...

Posted March 11, 2014

"Hypocrisy is the tribute vice pays to virtue."

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AKM. puts forth...

Posted March 11, 2014

Just get a job at Woolies in Byron Bay. Babes....Babes, everywhere. Fresh off the beach and damn near nekkid. Not to mention all the hot young six-packed backpacker blokes who just make me feel old and weary beaing in the same building as them........

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Conspiracy Cat would have you know...

Posted March 12, 2014

I'm no good at pole dancing. Or irish dancing. Or german dancing.....

w from brisbane swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted March 12, 2014

Cicero (106BC-43BC : Roman lawyer, orator and politician) summed it up neatly.

Nemo enim fere saltat sobrius, nisi forte insanit.
No one dances sober, unless he is insane.

AuntyLou would have you know...

Posted March 12, 2014

Ahh...W! Thanks for that. You have now given my hubby his motto and/or excuse!

Brother PorkChop is gonna tell you...

Posted March 12, 2014

Mine is always, "I am dancing...on the inside!"

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w from brisbane is gonna tell you...

Posted March 12, 2014

In defence of the honorable member, Mr. Vaughan Johnson, he admitted he was not across all the detail and implications of the Liquor (Red Tape Reduction) and Other Legislation Amendment Bill.
What Mr. Johnson spoke about was the removal of the provision that alcohol can only be served by people formally trained in the provision of alcohol. Which in practice meant that publicans in remote Queensland could not travel more that 1 hour from their premises, and also, Mr. Johnson couldn't get a beer at his barber's. Pole sports never entered the honourable member's mind.

Looking at the Hansard for 20 November 2013, Mr Johnson addressed the Parliament thus:

Mr JOHNSON: ........I notice that hairdressers will now be able to serve a couple of glasses of wine or a couple of beers to their clients. That might encourage me to get a haircut more often. I will check out Gaby Janho’s at Longreach when I go home and see if he has a fridge in there with a few stubbies in it. If you see me with shorter hair in future you will know that Gaby has beer in the fridge.

I think this is very good legislation. Although I am a Catholic, I have not touched on those amendments in this bill that relate to the Catholic Church. I do not know a lot about that part of this legislation, but I will say that I did not see anything in there about liquor licensing in relation to the Catholic Church. I know the Catholics like a drink. Most of us come from Irish stock

An honourable member: And the Proddos

Mr JOHNSON: The Proddos too

An honourable member: But not the Lutherans.

Mr JOHNSON: The Lutherans too? I heard that. The point I make is that years ago my wife, my mother-in-law, my brother-in-law, and his wife went on a trip to Ireland. They had a bit of a look around and then come Sunday morning the women went to mass and the men went to the pub. I thought, Well, that’s the Catholic way. However, not all of us blokes go to the pub. Sometimes I go to church. I think that this legislation has put a bit of fun back into life. It has taken that red tape, that regulation, that restriction out of living.........I say to the Attorney-General that this legislation is going to bring a lot of joy to a lot of people.

Mr Johnson was certainly correct with his last sentence, though not entirely for the reasons he expected.

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Conspiracy Cat would have you know...

Posted March 12, 2014

Well that's it, then. Mr Johnson's objection is that the dancing ladies should be in church and not writhing around on fireman's equipment. Firemen.... shirtless, muscled, sweaty firemen....

Um, what were we talking about?

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