I sat down yesterday arvo to compose today's Blunty and pondered the meagre pickin's of the days news. There really wasn't much worth riffing on, not if you were looking for some decent traffic. Best option seemed to be the meeting of state Treasurers (all LNP now?) looking to impose GST on internet purchases from overseas.
Mockable, but not as mockable as Tony Abbott on a good day. And yesterday was a good day because the first inkling of the Indonesians response to his double secret sorry letter was leaking into the public realm.
I decided to try and draft up my version of that letter but quickly found that, unlike Scott Morrison, Tony Abbott doesn't have a distinct persona on which to hang a piss take. It's odd, given how long he's been in public life, but there you go. Morrison? Easy, a rampaging, child eating zombie. Julie Bishop? Easier still, one of Lovecraft's Nameless Ones commissioned to high office.
But Abbott proved elusive until I threw the problem out to Twitter and realised the problem wasn't his persona but the voice in which it's expressed. Abbott has a very distinctive way of talking. A lot of ums and ahs and repetitions. It's not the sort of thing that would come through in a formal letter, but if he dictated that letter...
It's funny sometimes how an idea which won't work in one form, just clicks into place in an another.
12 Responses to ‘The blog wot Twitter wrote’
I wrote today's Blunty about Michael Clarke's graceless sledging of James Anderson before Warnie revealed Anderson's even more graeless sledging of George Bailey.
Hence the updated par at the end of the blog, but otherwise I didn't see a need to change anything.
23 Responses to ‘Empty threats’
Started yesterday morning with a quick tweet about Toned Abs selling helicopter gunships to the Taliban to stop refugees and it looked so good sitting there on my screenI decided 140 characters wasn't nearly enough.
My only disappointment is the lack of a comment so far that completely misreads the irony and thinks the story is for real.
Aprés lunch, perhaps.
8 Responses to ‘From tweet to blog’
It was a slow news day, yesterday. Emphasis on the word 'day'. I did something I rarely do and emailed my editor at Brisbane Times to query a few topics for today's blog. And I did something I often do, throwing the question out to Twitter. A surprising number of people there wanted me to write about cheese. Not sure what's up with that.
In the end I went with a topic I've had on the back burner for a couple of weeks, people's reluctance to part with even a couple of dollars for a decent app. I was inspired by the surprising (or perhaps that should be unsurprising) level of whingeing I saw on Twitter when Fantastical and Tweetbot relaunched their apps for iOS 7. Complete redesigns, beautifully done. And all of these nuff nuffs squealing like stuck pigs at the terrible terrible price of it all.
Two or three bucks as I recall. I bought both of them.
Anyway, there's really not that much to say on the topic, which meant that the language I used became a lot more florid and violent. Sometimes when you got almost nothing to say, it inspires you to say is in the most colorful fashion possible.
I reread the piece before filing and was reasonably happy with it.
Next thing I know, just before heading off to bed (without my iPad) I saw that Rudd had resigned, or retired or whatever they call it when you leave your seat in Parliament a week after you got there. The thought immediately struck me that that's what I should have blogged about, but screw him. I'd already filed.
Anyway, long story short, they backed the truck load of money up to my front door this morning and so there will be another Blunty today which I will link to a bit later when it comes through subbing. I hope they sub bit. I had to smash that thing out and about twenty-five minutes.
10 Responses to ‘Damn you, Ruddbot. Damn you all to hell’
S'funny. I was driving Anna into school this morning, talking with her about writing. Specifically about writing opinion columns. She said her homeroom teacher had enjoyed the bit about the spy 'scandal' I did in the Herald on the weekend. I said he would probably enjoy today's Blunty about Scott Morrison then.
This led on to a discussion about satire and the unavoidable consequence of writing it – that you will be fundamentally misunderstood. I told her that it was a laydown certainty I'd get a comment at some point today complaining about the horrible bigotry of this column. It wouldn't matter that 99% of people reading it got the joke, that it was skewering, not promoting stupidity and racism. It wouldn't matter that 99% of Indonesians reading it in their second or third language would get the joke, having no trouble at all with the concept of ironic distance.
Inevitably, some well-intentioned nuff nuff would take offense. It happened so much quicker than I had imagined.
It took only seven comments.
It's no wonder the Indonesians aren't cooperating with us! After reading this venomous rubbish, the author belongs to the percentage of racists in Australia giving us a bad reputation. This article is full of stupid cricketing references and unnecessary racism, observe:
"full to pussy’s bow with little brown people."
Yes I 'get' the whole comic personality aspect, but geez, wheres the moderation?!
Date and time
November 12, 2013, 8:09AM
Well played, nuff nuff. Well played.