Cheeseburger Gothic

The blog wot Twitter wrote

Posted November 28, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

I sat down yesterday arvo to compose today's Blunty and pondered the meagre pickin's of the days news. There really wasn't much worth riffing on, not if you were looking for some decent traffic. Best option seemed to be the meeting of state Treasurers (all LNP now?) looking to impose GST on internet purchases from overseas.

Mockable, but not as mockable as Tony Abbott on a good day. And yesterday was a good day because the first inkling of the Indonesians response to his double secret sorry letter was leaking into the public realm.

I decided to try and draft up my version of that letter but quickly found that, unlike Scott Morrison, Tony Abbott doesn't have a distinct persona on which to hang a piss take. It's odd, given how long he's been in public life, but there you go. Morrison? Easy, a rampaging, child eating zombie. Julie Bishop? Easier still, one of Lovecraft's Nameless Ones commissioned to high office.

But Abbott proved elusive until I threw the problem out to Twitter and realised the problem wasn't his persona but the voice in which it's expressed. Abbott has a very distinctive way of talking. A lot of ums and ahs and repetitions. It's not the sort of thing that would come through in a formal letter, but if he dictated that letter...

Hence todays Blunty.

It's funny sometimes how an idea which won't work in one form, just clicks into place in an another.

12 Responses to ‘The blog wot Twitter wrote’

BigWillieStyle puts forth...

Posted November 28, 2013

"Tony Abbott doesn't have a distinct persona on which to hang a piss take. It's odd, given how long he's been in public life, but there you go."

I dunno. I read somewhere once that Toned Abs' gait is a cross between Donald Duck and Anthony Mundine. When you think about it, it's also an apt description for his Prime Ministerial style. A lot of bluster and swagger and tough talk, combined with lengthy periods of being dim while his brain cogs slowly tick over.

Guru Bob asserts...

Posted December 15, 2013

Whenever I see him walking around I think of jumped up private school boys with silly looking candy coloured blazers. Maybe one day he will also find a suit that actually fits him properly?

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Quokka would have you know...

Posted November 28, 2013

Dear SBY

Shit Happens, mate.

Suck it up.

Love

Tony.

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FormerlyKnownAsSimon reckons...

Posted November 28, 2013

Second comment over at the Blunty was hilarious. Oh so close to first, but no cigar. I made the mistake of looking at the bottom half of the internet on Blots page yesterday. I can never tell if they are serious or not and i had to have a lie down.

BigWillieStyle mutters...

Posted November 28, 2013

Oh, they're serious.

Jayanthi's Atomic Cat ducks in to say...

Posted November 30, 2013

That Blunty's pure gold, JB. Read it twice. LMAO (especially re Ms Bishop's freezing silence, as vast and cold as the space between the stars and pretty much everything else attached to her) and won't ever be able to look at those pollies on TV again without it coming to mind...yeah some of the Bluntites definitely need to lighten up! Didn't read all of them...but insomniac got in a good one.

PS been unable to post by mobile at all for a while now...get an error message saying "That didn't work. You can't post nothing." Anybody else?

Newy stats is gonna tell you...

Posted December 1, 2013

Nah

works for me

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Therbs is gonna tell you...

Posted November 28, 2013

Tabbs obviously needs a dialogue coach. I nominate Havock.

Jayanthi's Atomic Cat swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 30, 2013

Seconded.

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Surtac is gonna tell you...

Posted November 28, 2013

Read the blunty via Twitter in a medical waiting room earlier this arvo. Lol'd so hard I started getting Strange Looks.

Very nice work, JB. I don't think I'll be able to get the image of Zombie Morrison out of my head. May I suggest Chris Pyne as your next target?

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Brother PorkChop would have you know...

Posted November 29, 2013

I am still choking and spitting coffee over the "lick the pencil, Jules" bit.

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w from brisbane swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 29, 2013

The cheerily right wing magazine, The Spectator, has their latest lead article defending the ABC against the conspiracy theories of various fevered right wing Aussie commentators. It's worth a read.

As their own twitter comment said (‏@SpectatorOz), "Who would have thought the Speccie would come to the ABC's defence?"

http://www.spectator.co.uk/australia/australia-leading-article/9089581/leader-3/

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Empty threats

Posted November 26, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

I wrote today's Blunty about Michael Clarke's graceless sledging of James Anderson before Warnie revealed Anderson's even more graeless sledging of George Bailey.

Hence the updated par at the end of the blog, but otherwise I didn't see a need to change anything.

At Blunty.

23 Responses to ‘Empty threats’

Therbs is gonna tell you...

Posted November 26, 2013

Yeah, nah. The Strayan captain should be full of pub car park mongrel. Past captains knew it and Clarke has learnt it after getting pantsed by the Poms two series in a row. If someone dacks you, response is not gentleman like. We want our skipper to show some mongrel, and threatening to have someone's limb broken is a start for the ex Bingle Boy. He also showed what it is to put foot on throat and not letting it off by leaving his declaration late. I think he's starting to get it. If you want soft sportsmen who yield their ground and doff their caps, then follow the Wallaby scrum.

Seeing as how Dave Warner is our new hero here's some lyric from a song, "Convict Streak" by his name sake:

The Poms are weak as piss
The French are queer
The Germans are wankers,
but they make good beer
Don't criticise what you don't understand
If you think I'm talking shit
you don't belong in this land

I can see Davey standing on the table in the dressing room belting this out after an Ashes win.

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Lulu has opinions thus...

Posted November 26, 2013

Sore losers, worse winners.

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Lobes has opinions thus...

Posted November 26, 2013

I think you may have misquoted Clarky, he said "Get ready for a broken fucken arm" not "get ready for f---in' broken arm"

FormerlyKnownAsSimon has opinions thus...

Posted November 26, 2013

No wonder Ms Bingle left him. He was using the wrong body part.

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w from brisbane puts forth...

Posted November 26, 2013

2013 Test Results

England - 11 games, 5 wins, 5 draws, 1 loss.
Australia- 11 games, 2 wins, 2 draws, 7 losses.

If some Australian players are feeling a little cocky, I can't see why.

BigWillieStyle asserts...

Posted November 26, 2013

"If some Australian players are feeling a little cocky, I can't see why"

That would probably be because....oh, I dunno.....they just thrashed England in the first Ashes Test?

Lulu puts forth...

Posted November 26, 2013

BWS, it's England's first loss in 11 games. And only Australia's 2nd win in 11. So, celebration - yes; cockiness - potentially premature.

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Brother PorkChop swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 26, 2013

This sort of thing goes on every day of a test match but in this case, Pup got "caught" cos Nine left the mikes open. There is too much money involved now and it is no longer amateur hour at the cricket.

About time they stopped taking shit from all opposition and start getting back on top. They need to continue it now which is what I fear - one win does not make a summer so they had better back it up. Frankly, I am astounded that the Burgers have an opinion on sport and sporting stories. Wow. What does Havock think I wonder.....

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Therbs would have you know...

Posted November 26, 2013

Havock would think "Fuck 'em. FKn mUPPETS specialy FkN ANDERFKNSON. PUP SHOULDA BELTED THE FKR!!!".

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I too swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 26, 2013

Wow! You must have needed quite a stepladder to get up on that horse today Original

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HAVOCK21 swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 26, 2013

You!...hang on, I'll start again. Based on the above and Therbs comment here I'm gunna take a leap of faith and suggest you thought that the Aussie Captain should conduct himself in a slightly better manner than what he has....correct. WELL FK ME!..ya better hand back the aussie fkn birth fkn certificate. Its fkn cricket and if ya cannot handle what takes place on the fkn pitch then FIND ANOTHER FKN GAME.....MAYBE FKN SOFTBALL TO PLAY!

Now as for CLARKY!...yeah baby, no holes barred fkn take no fkn PRISONERS I SAY and so will all other players of the great game. ON the pitch ITS FKN WAR!

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HAVOCK21 asserts...

Posted November 26, 2013

Just im case the fkn spam trap eats it!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT!..its fkn BOGANISH!...OH FKN PLEASE!

What clarke did was fkn fine and I would and so would a fkn lot of others. CRICKET IS SLEDGING and make no fkn mistake...they all do it. whats cracked me off recently...was the yabbering by a team in their native language. I told the UMP, he could piss off untill they stopped talking in their language and used fkn english, I could swear. not that I swear much mind you.

But Anderson..got what he deserved and backing it up...FKN HELL YES..HES GOT JOHNSON YA FKN MUPPET!. If you want a softer more mild and genteeeeeeel fkn game I might well suggest to you that perhaps softball mifght be the go!...pleated skirt needed of course too!

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Therbs reckons...

Posted November 26, 2013

Yeah, fk 'em. They're only Poms.

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Kat ducks in to say...

Posted November 26, 2013

Hey JB,

this is totally off-topic, but since you've railed against snooping governments before I thought this would interest you and many burger, so I wanted to share.

A friend of ours has been developing an open router system to allow secure and high-speed encryption of your internet traffic. He is looking to crowdfund some of the final big ticket items - would be great if you guys could have a look at the campaign - supporting it would be fabulous, and if you could also share on social media that would be much appreciated.

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/orp1-an-open-router-project

Thanks!

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w from brisbane asserts...

Posted November 26, 2013

Playing a game of cricket can be like spending the day locked inside a Youtube comments thread.

You have to be a peculiar sort of person to enjoy that, or think it is manly.

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HAVOCK21 has opinions thus...

Posted November 26, 2013

hmm..NOPE..thats not it either. Sledging is not just implied threats, its jokes, soft sledging and anything that lets you get inside their heads, upset their focus or the likes and some of its not PC thats for fkn sure.

Tell you what would be good JB, dip into that fkn pool of contacts and find out what sort of sledging takes place between the women teams of Aus and poms.

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JBtoo reckons...

Posted November 26, 2013

I'd like to clarify that I think sledging is generally pathetic and inane, with Clarke's contribution no exception. However this incident has been well overblown (not only by the usual meeja suspects), and Clarke being fined is ridiculous.
It is being used as an excuse by the Clarke-haters to take up their cudgels, which is seemingly far more important than celebrating a good win and at last seeing some cause for cricket optimism.

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w from brisbane mutters...

Posted November 26, 2013

Possibly, the lowest moment in Australian sport was when members of the Australian team went 'Choo Choo' as New Zealander, Chris Cairns, came in to bat. Chris Cairn's sister had just been killed in a train accident.

I agree with JBtoo. This latest episode is relatively harmless. The good old media. They create a narrative about somebody and then everyone writes to the narrative. The articles almost type themselves. Clarke, a leader in crisis, being the current narrative.

I remember the media hounding a rugby league player about some absurd beat-up. The player didn't want to talk to the media, but his team captain, Brad Fittler said to him, "You've got to talk to them mate. You're the story this week."

BigWillieStyle mumbles...

Posted November 27, 2013

Never happened. The Australian players who were playing in that game - and Cairns himself - have emphatically denied that the "choo choo" sledging incident ever took place. Cairns said that had he heard the Australians doing such a thing, he would have run straight over and knocked them out with his bat.

The Australians wanted to sue the newspaper that ran with the story, and Cairns offered to testify on their behalf.

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HAVOCK21 asserts...

Posted November 26, 2013

pick up a bat, stand on the pitch, or go home saying I dont think you should bowl that fast lets change the rules it might hurt me...either way, I really dont give a dam!

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SZF swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 27, 2013

I must have some residual Neanderthal in me, since I do love hearing/engaging in a bit of banter on the field. The thing is, it needs to have that combination of bite and humour - hence the "classics" from Sir Viv, Merv, etc. Shite like Clarke's effort are boring and unimaginative.

One of my personal favourites was allegedly uttered by Mark Waugh during a domestic match. While spending a few seconds scratching out his guard someone from the slips called out, "Hurry up dickhead, it's not like it's a Test match". To which he casually looked over his shoulder and drawled, "Of course it's not. You're out here."

Probably the most memorable I ever heard playing baseball was directed at me by an ex-team mate. "Seriously mate, you're the Seven of Spades". As in, in the deck - but nobody wants you. Even our own bench laughed. Still makes me chuckle (and stings a tiny bit) 15 years later. If you're out there, well played and f*ck you, Hutcho! :)

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w from brisbane asserts...

Posted November 27, 2013

Pointing out the batsman's batting deficiencies is entirely fair.
And actual banter is fun.
However, there are not too many Oscar Wildes in the slips cordon.

This is an example of the general standard from the last game I played.
Addressed to my batting partner..
"Hey, cockhead, cockhead. What's wrong with your girlfriend? Did she eat a pig? Ha, Ha, Ha "...and on and on and on.

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Respond to 'Empty threats'

From tweet to blog

Posted November 19, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Started yesterday morning with a quick tweet about Toned Abs selling helicopter gunships to the Taliban to stop refugees and it looked so good sitting there on my screenI decided 140 characters wasn't nearly enough.

Hence todays Blunty.

My only disappointment is the lack of a comment so far that completely misreads the irony and thinks the story is for real.

Aprés lunch, perhaps.

8 Responses to ‘From tweet to blog’

insomniac swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 19, 2013

how about Crusty Pete @ 7.38am?

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HAVOCK21 would have you know...

Posted November 19, 2013

um, I actually would...and have them wire tapped as well..well, bugged by DSD!......

Maybe we should have given some leopards to the INDO's and bugged them as well!

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Therbs would have you know...

Posted November 19, 2013

Hav, some bloke at Blunty is using your CAPs lOCK shTICK.

Dave W is gonna tell you...

Posted November 19, 2013

But I do think that gARY should win the prize for mISREAD IRonY.

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Therbs has opinions thus...

Posted November 19, 2013

Munterers to get fired up after their lunches are nicked out of the work fridge, probably by cleaners who are illegal brown people.

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BigWillieStyle puts forth...

Posted November 19, 2013

How's the pinched nerve, dear?

John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted November 19, 2013

Playing hell with my Xbox time.

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Damn you, Ruddbot. Damn you all to hell

Posted November 14, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

It was a slow news day, yesterday. Emphasis on the word 'day'. I did something I rarely do and emailed my editor at Brisbane Times to query a few topics for today's blog. And I did something I often do, throwing the question out to Twitter. A surprising number of people there wanted me to write about cheese. Not sure what's up with that.

In the end I went with a topic I've had on the back burner for a couple of weeks, people's reluctance to part with even a couple of dollars for a decent app. I was inspired by the surprising (or perhaps that should be unsurprising) level of whingeing I saw on Twitter when Fantastical and Tweetbot relaunched their apps for iOS 7. Complete redesigns, beautifully done. And all of these nuff nuffs squealing like stuck pigs at the terrible terrible price of it all.

Two or three bucks as I recall. I bought both of them.

Anyway, there's really not that much to say on the topic, which meant that the language I used became a lot more florid and violent. Sometimes when you got almost nothing to say, it inspires you to say is in the most colorful fashion possible.

I reread the piece before filing and was reasonably happy with it.

Next thing I know, just before heading off to bed (without my iPad) I saw that Rudd had resigned, or retired or whatever they call it when you leave your seat in Parliament a week after you got there. The thought immediately struck me that that's what I should have blogged about, but screw him. I'd already filed.

Anyway, long story short, they backed the truck load of money up to my front door this morning and so there will be another Blunty today which I will link to a bit later when it comes through subbing. I hope they sub bit. I had to smash that thing out and about twenty-five minutes.

10 Responses to ‘Damn you, Ruddbot. Damn you all to hell’

Matthew would have you know...

Posted November 14, 2013

25 minutes? How long can it take to write 500 words of HA HA HA HA HA?

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DNABeast puts forth...

Posted November 14, 2013

I upgraded to Tweetbot 3 but I still don't use it. 3.1 fixed most of my problems with it but I still can't tweet from a list and that's something that I do all the damn time.

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Rob ducks in to say...

Posted November 14, 2013

thank fuck Rudd went. Prime example of everything wrong with the public service and vanity politics. I'm sure he will be ok what with being able to spend his wifes money on butlers and so forth. You have probably written enough about ole' ruddy , he doesn't need anymore of your time.

paying for apps? well I finally paid for a star wars angry burds game. I thought it would get rid of the advertising. It didn't. Just slightly less of them. I would have paid for viber but its free. I did find an album I haven't been able to get, on google music and it was cheaper than Itunes. So that was a good find.

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Quokka ducks in to say...

Posted November 14, 2013

Dang. I just lost a bet with Morgana, I thought for sure (she's got Clive) she'd beat me to a bi-election.

We're in Griffith & I was quite convinced KRudd had burrowed in like a tick & would not pull out till the beast was dead and done.

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Blarkon mutters...

Posted November 14, 2013

Truckload of cash? A new retina iPad mini won't even cost you a Barina glovebox.

Anthony has opinions thus...

Posted November 14, 2013

JB's actually paid in one cent coins - and the truck is a very small one...

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Therbs has opinions thus...

Posted November 14, 2013

Oh geez, there's gonna be the Ruddites v The Gillardistas again. Its like the Rocky series without the entertainment.

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JBtoo is gonna tell you...

Posted November 14, 2013

I love cheese

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AllyOops ducks in to say...

Posted November 15, 2013

Your ruddbot piece is on smh mobile home page so I didn't even need the link up loaded.

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Len reckons...

Posted November 15, 2013

I feel sorry for you - 'It was a slow news day, yesterday'. My, my, every day, there is an overflowing fountain of juicy subjects that flows from that city next to the lake, Toronto. We now call it the 'Ford Follies', and they have repeat performances several times a day.

Why, just today, Ford turned to reporters and snarled that a city councillor who accused him of wanting to eat her, er, um, private parts was lying and that he gets enough to eat at home, thank you very much! And then he turned away and left the building. And returned in the afternoon to apologize to Torontonians (with his wife at his side) about his vulgarity.

I think you need to move to Canada for a while. You'd have a ball, methinks.

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Respond to 'Damn you, Ruddbot. Damn you all to hell'

That hardly took any time at all

Posted November 12, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

S'funny. I was driving Anna into school this morning, talking with her about writing. Specifically about writing opinion columns. She said her homeroom teacher had enjoyed the bit about the spy 'scandal' I did in the Herald on the weekend. I said he would probably enjoy today's Blunty about Scott Morrison then.

This led on to a discussion about satire and the unavoidable consequence of writing it – that you will be fundamentally misunderstood. I told her that it was a laydown certainty I'd get a comment at some point today complaining about the horrible bigotry of this column. It wouldn't matter that 99% of people reading it got the joke, that it was skewering, not promoting stupidity and racism. It wouldn't matter that 99% of Indonesians reading it in their second or third language would get the joke, having no trouble at all with the concept of ironic distance.

Inevitably, some well-intentioned nuff nuff would take offense. It happened so much quicker than I had imagined.

It took only seven comments.

It's no wonder the Indonesians aren't cooperating with us! After reading this venomous rubbish, the author belongs to the percentage of racists in Australia giving us a bad reputation. This article is full of stupid cricketing references and unnecessary racism, observe:

"full to pussy’s bow with little brown people."

Yes I 'get' the whole comic personality aspect, but geez, wheres the moderation?!

Commenter
for_shamed
Location
brisbane
Date and time
November 12, 2013, 8:09AM

Well played, nuff nuff. Well played.

21 Responses to ‘That hardly took any time at all’

Lulu ducks in to say...

Posted November 12, 2013

I had to google the 'pussy's bow' reference. Apparently UrbanDictionary isn't the best definition to use.

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Dave W would have you know...

Posted November 12, 2013

I can't understand that somebody stumbled across the blog, had never heard of you, didn't read any other cooments, didn't check the back-catalogue and felt that it was okay to write that comment.

People never cease to amaze me.

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damian has opinions thus...

Posted November 12, 2013

Stupid cricketing references and unnecessary racism... two well respected tautologies with their own deep history of rich interplay. Bravo.

By way of follow up to Greybeard, I see some fine delegates to Warsaw doing the job we ought to be doing.

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Murphy puts forth...

Posted November 12, 2013

Stateside you'd be lucky if half the population got it once you explained the basics of local politics to them. Once you did explain it, fairly well half of the Americans reading it for the first time would be outraged.

Same folks who exist in Fail Fandom in American Science Fiction. They are an exasperating, exhausting lot.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted November 12, 2013

"....satire and the unavoidable consequence of writing it – that you will be fundamentally misunderstood."

Happens all of the time. The ones who don't get the joke don't matter. It is the ones that end up agreeing with my indefensible comic positions that creep me out.

Therbs ducks in to say...

Posted November 12, 2013

You are sooo right Paul. Couldn't agree more.

Brother PorkChop puts forth...

Posted November 12, 2013

What?? You mean you were joking?

Surely not about Sex Slaves of the Congo? I was sooooo looking forward to getting into it.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted November 12, 2013

My buring desire to publish Sex Slaves of the Congo is the only thing I am serious about.

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Quokka swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 12, 2013

When I heard that Scott wasn't taking calls from the media I assumed he'd read your column, decided he couldn't put it any clear than that, and had headed off to play golf and have a few glasses of porter.

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Therbs mutters...

Posted November 12, 2013

Gettin' some people who are right scared of brown and yellow people over there JB. Brings out the jackbooters every time.

insomniac reckons...

Posted November 12, 2013

“Ay, ay, ay! No es bueno!”

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she_jedi swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 12, 2013

What cracks me up is that the nuff nuffs always make a point of stating how they "get" that it's satire, but still take offence at it anyway. You just can't win JB.

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Therbs ducks in to say...

Posted November 12, 2013

I like the guy talking about the aids we give to 'Indon'. I shouldn't respond, but did. Managed to put in a shout out to Japanese whalers as well. Yep, a bit of a lull at work.

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Dino not to be confused with reckons...

Posted November 12, 2013

Yeah but JB what if it was a comment from an Indonesian?

Didja think about that!

Anthony has opinions thus...

Posted November 12, 2013

Not literate enough for that...

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NBlob mumbles...

Posted November 13, 2013

There is a little garden spot near my house where several of the local dads gather on a Friday night after putting their kids to bed for a beer, chat & the occasional jazz cigarette. Like a free range BYO beer garden. A nice little community thing I liked, for a while. The more mono-browed & IQ challenged started taking over, but that's ok, agreeing with me is not mandatory. It started losing its appeal when the mouthbreathers started expounding on the views they'd picked up from Messers Laws & Jones that morning. (Paul, like Limbough, but less classy.)

One evening I had a gut full and started doing the extreme line, just to point out how ridiculous they were. This may or may not have been a consequence of a sh!tty day at work and a drink or two to many, but that is not important right now.

One halfwit said "reffo boats would stop if we sank a couple, what do we have a navy for?" I countered that we should "rape their children & force their women into slavery first." He thought while I was a bit OTT, the idea had merit.

I haven't been back.

damian is gonna tell you...

Posted November 13, 2013

Yeah this. I think it's why I end up doing less of the sort of community building stuff I keep banging on about being important.

On a related subject, should I invite the methheads in numbers 7, 21 and 33 to the community meeting about the neighbourhood watch group we're starting because of them? It seems unsettlingly like the correct answer is yes, but I think I don't have to invite them to join the steering committee.

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AllyOops ducks in to say...

Posted November 13, 2013

Reminds me of the time at a lunch when I responded to the deterrent argument with a suggestion that if people were really serious about deterring the boats they'd shoot a few...

I still think half the table missed my point

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted November 13, 2013

Yes, but it was an excellent point. It would have horrified you, however, if anyone agreed.

As I mentioned above, that has happened to me. For example, in the 1980's I proposed that, as a the solution to the US illegal immigration problem from Mexico, the US should allow the Boarder Patrol to shoot at will, but to make sure that all boarder guards were severely myopic. I argued that, although the odds of them hitting anyone were extremely low, the fact that live ammunition was being fired would deter illegal immigration.

It was a satirical joke poking fun at extreme solutions being proposed. But not a very clear joke. Many of those around me agreed that it was a great idea.

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BigWillieStyle has opinions thus...

Posted November 13, 2013

Satire, eh? I like satire. My favourite recent example is the Australian electorate - most of them awake and in control of their faculties - voting in Tony Abbott as Prime Minister! Gold! Ever since Sept 7, I've been waiting for the Chaser to emerge from behind a bush laughing and slapping each other on the back for a gag well executed.

Waiting, I tell you. Any day now......

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Naut mutters...

Posted November 13, 2013

If it doesn't start "knock, knock" how is anyone supposed to know you were being funny and clever?

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Respond to 'That hardly took any time at all'

When you can't decide which bog to write

Posted November 7, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

You write both, and let the internet decide.

At Blunty.

6 Responses to ‘When you can't decide which bog to write’

Quokka mumbles...

Posted November 7, 2013

Either there is an 'L' missing in 'bog' or you forgot to add 'in' at the end of that sentence.

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John Birmingham swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 7, 2013

Meh, It's a feature not a fault.

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w from brisbane asserts...

Posted November 7, 2013

I was having a beer in the street bar underneath the Central Railway Station in the Brisbane CBD. It is on Ann Street, probably the street that carries the most traffic thru the city. It gets a bit gridlocked at 5pm in the afternoon.

The door opens on one of the traffic becalmed cars. The business suited dad quietly exits his vehicle and gets his 3 year old daughter from the children's car seat in the back seat. He takes off her undies and helps her to part her legs in the standing position and the little darling has an obviously much needed wee wee in the middle in the street. He calmly puts the child back into her car seat and returns to the driver's position to await traffic movement.

Great moment in parenthood. Respect!

Dino not to be confused with swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 7, 2013
  • Bangkok eat your heart out

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Conspiracy Cat is gonna tell you...

Posted November 7, 2013

Huh. I wanted to share an anecdote about one of the Boss's more memorable* outdoor urination adventures, but he threatened to cut off my blogging fingers. Piker.

(*I say 'memorable', but only to witnesses. On the night in question, he himself had consumed far too much alcomohol to even remember pants.)

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 8, 2013

Please share anyway, and just don't tell him.

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