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Aquarobics

Posted December 10, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Never thought I'd write a blog about that.

But I did.

16 Responses to ‘Aquarobics’

JBtoo would have you know...

Posted December 10, 2013

Yoga?

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FormerlyKnownAsSimon mutters...

Posted December 10, 2013

you could tour the world doing zombie marches? They shuffle right? Unless you go in for those superfast Gen Y aerobic zombies - then maybe that isn't a good idea.

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Brother PorkChop is gonna tell you...

Posted December 10, 2013

Very sorry to hear about the back. My Father used to fix his back when pinched by strapping his ankles to an old door and tipping it upside down. I know that there are the turn table things these days and some folk swear by them. Martinis, same diff.

On the exercise front aside from a dodgy ankle from last weeks 5 a side old fellas soccer, I am down just over 7KG now!! Ready to pork up over Christmas.

Bangar swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 10, 2013

Brother PorkChop, the inversion tables work and work well except for the heart attacks that is. The internal organs cause pressure on the heart that can induce a heart attack, so beware.

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Rob has opinions thus...

Posted December 10, 2013

I always found aqua aerobics incredibly lame. I tired it a few times but I just couldn't figure out how to get your heart rate up. So it just seemed silly. Mind you at the moment the most I do is play games on my Pc and walk up stairs to my studio to sit more. So maybe any lame exercise would be better than nothing.

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AllyOops puts forth...

Posted December 10, 2013

I reckon you go and walk in the pool, waist deep water and you walk a couple of Kms...I hope you have had your office seen to...

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BabesMcPhee would have you know...

Posted December 11, 2013

Sorry to hear about your back!!! :/ (My laparotomy left me out of condition for 2 months, rendering me TOTALLY out of shape just seven weeks before my wedding...I did what I could to get it back in that time, and basically (almost) did, but MAN!) Anyway--I am finished recovering, finished wedding, and in a few weeks will be holidaying and will likely finally have time to write that guest blog post, if you will still have me...wanted you to know I hadn't forgotten!!! =)

Oh, and how about just walking on a treadmill at the gym??

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Quokka reckons...

Posted December 11, 2013

My suggestion is one you never like.

Let your fingers do the walking, and make an appointment with my osteopath. Thanks to the missing chunk of ankle, my back goes out at least once a year & as he's so booked up I spend a week praying for the sweet release of death until he fixes me.

On the migraine front, too, my dentist fitted me with a dentabyte a few weeks ago, to stop my nocturnal gnashing of the teeth, and it's worked wonders to relax my jaw & neck muscles. Big improvement in terms of reduction of headaches & hopefully it'll stop me from cracking any more molars. Not fun.

insomniac reckons...

Posted December 11, 2013

I second the appointment with the osteopath. I was having regular headaches that went away after just 4 treatments. Some are physical, some are gentle. I had unspecified neck/shoulder/back trauma laid upon more unspecified neck/shoulder/back trauma. Even though the treatment was quite gentle, releasing muscles, that sort of thing; the next day my neck felt very sore, but after that it was so much better. Even though it seems a bit of hocus pocus, I say stick with it.

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Conspiracy Cat would have you know...

Posted December 11, 2013

Here's my secret. The lazy person's workout, courtesy of American health research:

Imagine Increased Muscle Strength!-Experiment

In a fascinating experiment, researchers at the Cleveland Clinic Foundation discovered that a muscle can be strengthened just by thinking about exercising it.

For 12 weeks (five minutes a day, five days per week) a team of 30 healthy young adults imagined either using the muscle of their little finger or of their elbow flexor. Dr. Vinoth Ranganathan and his team asked the participants to think as strongly as they could about moving the muscle being tested, to make the imaginary movement as real as they could.

Compared to a control group – that did no imaginary exercises and showed no strength gains – the little-finger group increased their pinky muscle strength by 35%. The other group increased elbow strength by 13.4%.

What's more, brain scans taken after the study showed greater and more focused activity in the prefrontal cortex than before. The researchers said strength gains were due to improvements in the brain's ability to signal muscle.3

Pay attention to your breathing. Is it slow and deep, or quick and shallow? Is your belly expanding and contracting, or is your chest doing all the work?

Extracted from http://www.fi.edu/learn/brain/exercise.html#science

I've read other research on the same topic, which showed similar results (around 13% increased bicep strength, and around 13% weight loss, all by imagining exercise for about three months), but I can't be fagged searching through my bookmarks for the links.

This actually works. I've used it myself to drop 24 kilos in 18 months.

You're welcome.

Quokka has opinions thus...

Posted December 12, 2013

Jeebus Catty, if that actually worked then every man on the planet would have a dick the size of an elephant's trunk.

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JG mutters...

Posted December 11, 2013

Hi all.

Good luck with your recovery, JB. Pinched nerve this time around? Ouch. Water running is good. I tried it a few times with a water belt when I had a line fracture of my lateral femoral condyle earlier this year.

I'm recovering after surgery. I read your book, 'Off My Tits', while in hosptial. It seemed appropriate, given I was having my tits off, or my second boob at least. Got my first mastectomy in 2000: that one for cancer. Great book, 'Off My Tits', and I'll continue reading it over Christmas.

I get back to running from 21 Dec following my second mastectomy (not for cancer… purely for aesthetics and balance) on 28 Nov at RBWH. Decided to go flat chested. Not going to bother with wearing bras and prostheses anymore. It's fabulous and I like the flat look. Recovery is going well. Feeling great. Walking heaps and flexibility is good.

Not bothering too much with my Fitbit One these days, but I still wear the gadget,if only as a pedometer and timepiece. It got me started on the whole exercise thing this year and I owe it to you for making me aware of it, thanks to one of your blogs.

I'm down to 55kg now (my left breast weighed 594 grams... it's been sliced up and stored for research) and I'm on course to run my first marathon next year: the Gold Coast Marathon on 6 July 2014. I'll have time to train up for it, following this surgery. Fingers crossed. You never know with injuries.

Injury is part of an active lifestyle, but it is so, so worth it. I feel terrific, being fit and slim again. It's also allowed me to go off all medication. Never been better.

Joanna :)

JG puts forth...

Posted December 11, 2013

Your book, 'Off One's Tits', I mean. :P

insomniac reckons...

Posted December 11, 2013

as the Queen would say

Dino not to be confused with reckons...

Posted December 11, 2013

You're a brave lady JG.

But JB's article and your comment is making me feel old, fat and lazy.

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David S. mumbles...

Posted December 11, 2013

I misread it as aquarobotics and thought, "Why? That sounds so cool!"

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Shame, unutterable shame

Posted December 5, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Unutterable because Alexander Downer and George Brandis have no understanding of the word. Downer, who used ASIS against the infant democracy of East Timor in a grotesque and unnecessary abuse of state power. Brandis who how's deploys the power of the state to cover it up.

Sometimes the Golden Age of Satire is merely dark and ugly and deeply depressing.

At Blunty.

25 Responses to ‘Shame, unutterable shame’

Lulu has opinions thus...

Posted December 5, 2013

Sneaky & shameless.

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Halwes puts forth...

Posted December 5, 2013

I look forward to sharing a cell in maximum security soon JB. These people are dangerous zealots and don't take kindly to us taking offence at their complete lack of integrity or morals. We are the dumbest country in the world. We've just been made redundant at Gove because the multinationals and the govt thought that it would be fun to rip the guts out of the most cohesive, educated, racially harmonious community in Australia and sell the dirt cheaply to China instead of refining it in Australia. This has led to the loss of most of the training opportunities in East Arnhem land and will devastate the Yolngu people who live here. How do you tell when a mining company is lying? Their lips are moving. We intend to go down fighting.

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Barnesm swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 5, 2013

Why only three comments so far? Surely those that have been defending the Prime Minister and this government would be leaping to defend the actions of the Australian attorney-general, George Brandis.

FormerlyKnownAsSimon ducks in to say...

Posted December 5, 2013

3 comments is very telling. Besides, JB didn't use his parody voice for something that i don't think could be treated with parody. His parody voice seems to bring out the derp (i love that term) in a lot of people. It's like when kids know that dad is serious this time.

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted December 5, 2013

You're right about the voice. I kept it 'cold' on purpose. But that doesn't fire up the ol' rage tweet engine.

Axle60610 is gonna tell you...

Posted December 6, 2013

simply thank you Birmo

where has the courage to comment like this gone in our media..Downer is only one of the crooks that inhabited Howard's government.. just like Joh B in QLD and the ALP in Sydney they become rotten with greed. Unfortunately we will not hear much more about this because silence and no comment is the tool best used by the guilty.

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Halwes ducks in to say...

Posted December 5, 2013

We are the stupid ones though. We get the politicians we, clive, rupert and gina elect. They have a low opinion of us because a large percentage of Australians are very stupid and rupert know that we can be easily manipulated. What kind of Australia are we leaving our kids? What wont we do for money? We should be very ashamed of ourselves but we've also got to fight tooth and nail against them. Maybe we are going to have another recession that will radicalise the youth of the day so that they can be some opposition to the forces of corporate and other rich pig evil raging against them. We are kidding ourselves if we believe that their aren't already political activist prisoners in gaol on some trumped up charges. It may be many more than we think. If it wasn't for the hero whistleblowers, who never seem to be able to live happiliy ever after, we would know nothing. I wonder if some outlaw biker gang will let me be a member now ? I'm not doing any of that unlaundered jacket stuff though. I hope our cellmates don't snore.

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Therbs puts forth...

Posted December 5, 2013

Morrison, Pyne, Brandis, Bishop; a fine fucking mob of scum suckers. We'd be better off if we'd voted in an entire cabinet of kangaroo poo eaters..The agent is going to be jailed for his belief in doing the right thing.

I know a bloke who was working close protection of Xanana Gusmao for a few weeks when he landed back in East Timor. Gusmao was already looking at areas of revenue including those oil and gas fields. Thought he'd get a fair deal from Australia. Pffft. As if our white privileged pollies would treat brown people fairly. Never. happen.

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Bunyip would have you know...

Posted December 5, 2013

Gobsmacked. Thanks for putting this out there. Was blithely unaware that this had gone on.

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yankeedog ducks in to say...

Posted December 5, 2013

I give kudos to my friend and colleague, Mr. Birmingham, for bringing this up! Because as an American, during the Iraq War, I sat and read comments from a lot of you about how bad and evil my country was for doing dirty things to influence and interfere in the affairs of other nations.

Looks like we dumb Seppos aren't the only ones that do this. You all can put your casting stones back in the holsters now, for it appears that Australia is, indeed, not without sin.

I do give big props to those of you who have expressed outrage that your government engaged in these practices. Makes it much easier to swallow when you criticize us.

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HAVOCK21 mutters...

Posted December 6, 2013

JESUS!..diplomacy is one country fucking another country politely!

Lets not forget ( the TIMOREEEEESE SHOULDNT) that they'ed be speaking fkn Indonesian if it were not for us! thats not to say what we did in the negotiations is right mind you, just that sometimes some people have very very short fkn memories when it serves them.

just a case of what you do not know will not hurt you...wrong, it has, its just that you were not aware of it, this is the tip of the fkn ICEBERG people and lets not think its purely indicative of a liberal gummit....its not!

John Birmingham mutters...

Posted December 6, 2013

So you're cool with ASIS being taken off al Qaeda's case to work for Woodside Petroleum against the existential threat of East Timor?

Brian ducks in to say...

Posted December 6, 2013

Notice the only nearby island nation not bleating is New Zealand? Well, yes to be correct. . .they do bleat, but where was our intelligence assets when the Kiwis were beating our sports teams. Now THAT is an existential threat in most Australians eyes.

Seriously though . . .arent our assets better tasked then picking on small brown people?

insomniac puts forth...

Posted December 6, 2013

Come on. The Wallabies couldn't beat the All Blacks even after a three year degree in all aspects of NZ rugby, including game plans and strategies for the next World Cup.

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Lulu is gonna tell you...

Posted December 6, 2013

Completely OT:

http://mg.co.za/article/2013-12-05-nelson-mandela-dies

Completely expected, but still. Shit.

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BigWillieStyle mutters...

Posted December 6, 2013

I posted on Blunty yesterday, stating it'd be interesting to see how the Death Star will report this. Didn;t have to wait long, the odious Piers Akerman is all over it today;

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/opinion/labor-left-right-out-of-matters-of-security/story-fni0cwl5-1226776362627

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AllyOops ducks in to say...

Posted December 6, 2013

I read this nearly 24 hours ago, I can't shake the feeling of despondency that has washed over me.

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Darth Greybeard swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 6, 2013

Wondered why there were only 35 comments but then didn't make one myself. Nothing to say really, just sickening. Bloody Downer and his nice little earner from Woodside. TANJ

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Chaz mutters...

Posted December 9, 2013

Morally it sucks but please name me one country with an effective foreign intel service that wouldnt do the same...

Bueller? anyone?

Dino not to be confused with mutters...

Posted December 9, 2013

Name me one Country where people don't disapear?

Did I spell that right Chaz?

Are you still alive?

Dino not to be confused with puts forth...

Posted December 9, 2013

Bueller?

Goldstien?

Dino not to be confused with asserts...

Posted December 9, 2013

As Chaz fades away pumicing 'his' heels we must remember that the intelligence services are not relegated to holding mobile phones.

Those who know...

Dino not to be confused with mutters...

Posted December 9, 2013

One last remark.

Chaz loves the Stazi.

Chaz loves PolPot cause he killed his parents and siblings.

Polpot is good.

Name me one intelligence...

Chaz puts forth...

Posted December 10, 2013

Dino, sounds like your meds need changing again...

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Dino not to be confused with reckons...

Posted December 10, 2013

Fair call Chaz,

I the sober light of day it appears the 'writer' worked himself into a frenzy.

"Shame, unutterable shame"

;-)

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Stupid electorate, stupid journalists, mistaking stupid lies for stupid broken promises

Posted December 3, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

3 Responses to ‘Stupid electorate, stupid journalists, mistaking stupid lies for stupid broken promises’

Brian puts forth...

Posted December 3, 2013

Err . . .well, I did post a few.

I put it down to how much this government annoys me. The 'Cone of Silence' gambit really pisses me off.

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Lulu would have you know...

Posted December 3, 2013

http://www.theage.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/gonskis-gone-school-funding-review-struck-from-record-20131202-2yljm.html

Interesting. I think they're working on the approach of "Lie? What lie? It's not a lie if the alleged thing you allegedly lied about has allegedly disappeared."

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peteb asserts...

Posted December 3, 2013

Pyne, the Honourable, known in eureka nsw as SF, the mango.

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The blog wot Twitter wrote

Posted November 28, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

I sat down yesterday arvo to compose today's Blunty and pondered the meagre pickin's of the days news. There really wasn't much worth riffing on, not if you were looking for some decent traffic. Best option seemed to be the meeting of state Treasurers (all LNP now?) looking to impose GST on internet purchases from overseas.

Mockable, but not as mockable as Tony Abbott on a good day. And yesterday was a good day because the first inkling of the Indonesians response to his double secret sorry letter was leaking into the public realm.

I decided to try and draft up my version of that letter but quickly found that, unlike Scott Morrison, Tony Abbott doesn't have a distinct persona on which to hang a piss take. It's odd, given how long he's been in public life, but there you go. Morrison? Easy, a rampaging, child eating zombie. Julie Bishop? Easier still, one of Lovecraft's Nameless Ones commissioned to high office.

But Abbott proved elusive until I threw the problem out to Twitter and realised the problem wasn't his persona but the voice in which it's expressed. Abbott has a very distinctive way of talking. A lot of ums and ahs and repetitions. It's not the sort of thing that would come through in a formal letter, but if he dictated that letter...

Hence todays Blunty.

It's funny sometimes how an idea which won't work in one form, just clicks into place in an another.

12 Responses to ‘The blog wot Twitter wrote’

BigWillieStyle asserts...

Posted November 28, 2013

"Tony Abbott doesn't have a distinct persona on which to hang a piss take. It's odd, given how long he's been in public life, but there you go."

I dunno. I read somewhere once that Toned Abs' gait is a cross between Donald Duck and Anthony Mundine. When you think about it, it's also an apt description for his Prime Ministerial style. A lot of bluster and swagger and tough talk, combined with lengthy periods of being dim while his brain cogs slowly tick over.

Guru Bob ducks in to say...

Posted December 15, 2013

Whenever I see him walking around I think of jumped up private school boys with silly looking candy coloured blazers. Maybe one day he will also find a suit that actually fits him properly?

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Quokka mutters...

Posted November 28, 2013

Dear SBY

Shit Happens, mate.

Suck it up.

Love

Tony.

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FormerlyKnownAsSimon reckons...

Posted November 28, 2013

Second comment over at the Blunty was hilarious. Oh so close to first, but no cigar. I made the mistake of looking at the bottom half of the internet on Blots page yesterday. I can never tell if they are serious or not and i had to have a lie down.

BigWillieStyle reckons...

Posted November 28, 2013

Oh, they're serious.

Jayanthi's Atomic Cat mutters...

Posted November 30, 2013

That Blunty's pure gold, JB. Read it twice. LMAO (especially re Ms Bishop's freezing silence, as vast and cold as the space between the stars and pretty much everything else attached to her) and won't ever be able to look at those pollies on TV again without it coming to mind...yeah some of the Bluntites definitely need to lighten up! Didn't read all of them...but insomniac got in a good one.

PS been unable to post by mobile at all for a while now...get an error message saying "That didn't work. You can't post nothing." Anybody else?

Newy stats is gonna tell you...

Posted December 1, 2013

Nah

works for me

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Therbs would have you know...

Posted November 28, 2013

Tabbs obviously needs a dialogue coach. I nominate Havock.

Jayanthi's Atomic Cat swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 30, 2013

Seconded.

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Surtac puts forth...

Posted November 28, 2013

Read the blunty via Twitter in a medical waiting room earlier this arvo. Lol'd so hard I started getting Strange Looks.

Very nice work, JB. I don't think I'll be able to get the image of Zombie Morrison out of my head. May I suggest Chris Pyne as your next target?

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Brother PorkChop reckons...

Posted November 29, 2013

I am still choking and spitting coffee over the "lick the pencil, Jules" bit.

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w from brisbane would have you know...

Posted November 29, 2013

The cheerily right wing magazine, The Spectator, has their latest lead article defending the ABC against the conspiracy theories of various fevered right wing Aussie commentators. It's worth a read.

As their own twitter comment said (‏@SpectatorOz), "Who would have thought the Speccie would come to the ABC's defence?"

http://www.spectator.co.uk/australia/australia-leading-article/9089581/leader-3/

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Empty threats

Posted November 26, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

I wrote today's Blunty about Michael Clarke's graceless sledging of James Anderson before Warnie revealed Anderson's even more graeless sledging of George Bailey.

Hence the updated par at the end of the blog, but otherwise I didn't see a need to change anything.

At Blunty.

23 Responses to ‘Empty threats’

Therbs has opinions thus...

Posted November 26, 2013

Yeah, nah. The Strayan captain should be full of pub car park mongrel. Past captains knew it and Clarke has learnt it after getting pantsed by the Poms two series in a row. If someone dacks you, response is not gentleman like. We want our skipper to show some mongrel, and threatening to have someone's limb broken is a start for the ex Bingle Boy. He also showed what it is to put foot on throat and not letting it off by leaving his declaration late. I think he's starting to get it. If you want soft sportsmen who yield their ground and doff their caps, then follow the Wallaby scrum.

Seeing as how Dave Warner is our new hero here's some lyric from a song, "Convict Streak" by his name sake:

The Poms are weak as piss
The French are queer
The Germans are wankers,
but they make good beer
Don't criticise what you don't understand
If you think I'm talking shit
you don't belong in this land

I can see Davey standing on the table in the dressing room belting this out after an Ashes win.

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Lulu mutters...

Posted November 26, 2013

Sore losers, worse winners.

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Lobes asserts...

Posted November 26, 2013

I think you may have misquoted Clarky, he said "Get ready for a broken fucken arm" not "get ready for f---in' broken arm"

FormerlyKnownAsSimon is gonna tell you...

Posted November 26, 2013

No wonder Ms Bingle left him. He was using the wrong body part.

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w from brisbane ducks in to say...

Posted November 26, 2013

2013 Test Results

England - 11 games, 5 wins, 5 draws, 1 loss.
Australia- 11 games, 2 wins, 2 draws, 7 losses.

If some Australian players are feeling a little cocky, I can't see why.

BigWillieStyle ducks in to say...

Posted November 26, 2013

"If some Australian players are feeling a little cocky, I can't see why"

That would probably be because....oh, I dunno.....they just thrashed England in the first Ashes Test?

Lulu swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 26, 2013

BWS, it's England's first loss in 11 games. And only Australia's 2nd win in 11. So, celebration - yes; cockiness - potentially premature.

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Brother PorkChop puts forth...

Posted November 26, 2013

This sort of thing goes on every day of a test match but in this case, Pup got "caught" cos Nine left the mikes open. There is too much money involved now and it is no longer amateur hour at the cricket.

About time they stopped taking shit from all opposition and start getting back on top. They need to continue it now which is what I fear - one win does not make a summer so they had better back it up. Frankly, I am astounded that the Burgers have an opinion on sport and sporting stories. Wow. What does Havock think I wonder.....

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Therbs would have you know...

Posted November 26, 2013

Havock would think "Fuck 'em. FKn mUPPETS specialy FkN ANDERFKNSON. PUP SHOULDA BELTED THE FKR!!!".

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I too mutters...

Posted November 26, 2013

Wow! You must have needed quite a stepladder to get up on that horse today Original

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HAVOCK21 would have you know...

Posted November 26, 2013

You!...hang on, I'll start again. Based on the above and Therbs comment here I'm gunna take a leap of faith and suggest you thought that the Aussie Captain should conduct himself in a slightly better manner than what he has....correct. WELL FK ME!..ya better hand back the aussie fkn birth fkn certificate. Its fkn cricket and if ya cannot handle what takes place on the fkn pitch then FIND ANOTHER FKN GAME.....MAYBE FKN SOFTBALL TO PLAY!

Now as for CLARKY!...yeah baby, no holes barred fkn take no fkn PRISONERS I SAY and so will all other players of the great game. ON the pitch ITS FKN WAR!

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HAVOCK21 swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 26, 2013

Just im case the fkn spam trap eats it!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT!..its fkn BOGANISH!...OH FKN PLEASE!

What clarke did was fkn fine and I would and so would a fkn lot of others. CRICKET IS SLEDGING and make no fkn mistake...they all do it. whats cracked me off recently...was the yabbering by a team in their native language. I told the UMP, he could piss off untill they stopped talking in their language and used fkn english, I could swear. not that I swear much mind you.

But Anderson..got what he deserved and backing it up...FKN HELL YES..HES GOT JOHNSON YA FKN MUPPET!. If you want a softer more mild and genteeeeeeel fkn game I might well suggest to you that perhaps softball mifght be the go!...pleated skirt needed of course too!

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Therbs ducks in to say...

Posted November 26, 2013

Yeah, fk 'em. They're only Poms.

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Kat asserts...

Posted November 26, 2013

Hey JB,

this is totally off-topic, but since you've railed against snooping governments before I thought this would interest you and many burger, so I wanted to share.

A friend of ours has been developing an open router system to allow secure and high-speed encryption of your internet traffic. He is looking to crowdfund some of the final big ticket items - would be great if you guys could have a look at the campaign - supporting it would be fabulous, and if you could also share on social media that would be much appreciated.

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/orp1-an-open-router-project

Thanks!

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w from brisbane mumbles...

Posted November 26, 2013

Playing a game of cricket can be like spending the day locked inside a Youtube comments thread.

You have to be a peculiar sort of person to enjoy that, or think it is manly.

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HAVOCK21 is gonna tell you...

Posted November 26, 2013

hmm..NOPE..thats not it either. Sledging is not just implied threats, its jokes, soft sledging and anything that lets you get inside their heads, upset their focus or the likes and some of its not PC thats for fkn sure.

Tell you what would be good JB, dip into that fkn pool of contacts and find out what sort of sledging takes place between the women teams of Aus and poms.

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JBtoo mumbles...

Posted November 26, 2013

I'd like to clarify that I think sledging is generally pathetic and inane, with Clarke's contribution no exception. However this incident has been well overblown (not only by the usual meeja suspects), and Clarke being fined is ridiculous.
It is being used as an excuse by the Clarke-haters to take up their cudgels, which is seemingly far more important than celebrating a good win and at last seeing some cause for cricket optimism.

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w from brisbane swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 26, 2013

Possibly, the lowest moment in Australian sport was when members of the Australian team went 'Choo Choo' as New Zealander, Chris Cairns, came in to bat. Chris Cairn's sister had just been killed in a train accident.

I agree with JBtoo. This latest episode is relatively harmless. The good old media. They create a narrative about somebody and then everyone writes to the narrative. The articles almost type themselves. Clarke, a leader in crisis, being the current narrative.

I remember the media hounding a rugby league player about some absurd beat-up. The player didn't want to talk to the media, but his team captain, Brad Fittler said to him, "You've got to talk to them mate. You're the story this week."

BigWillieStyle ducks in to say...

Posted November 27, 2013

Never happened. The Australian players who were playing in that game - and Cairns himself - have emphatically denied that the "choo choo" sledging incident ever took place. Cairns said that had he heard the Australians doing such a thing, he would have run straight over and knocked them out with his bat.

The Australians wanted to sue the newspaper that ran with the story, and Cairns offered to testify on their behalf.

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HAVOCK21 is gonna tell you...

Posted November 26, 2013

pick up a bat, stand on the pitch, or go home saying I dont think you should bowl that fast lets change the rules it might hurt me...either way, I really dont give a dam!

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SZF asserts...

Posted November 27, 2013

I must have some residual Neanderthal in me, since I do love hearing/engaging in a bit of banter on the field. The thing is, it needs to have that combination of bite and humour - hence the "classics" from Sir Viv, Merv, etc. Shite like Clarke's effort are boring and unimaginative.

One of my personal favourites was allegedly uttered by Mark Waugh during a domestic match. While spending a few seconds scratching out his guard someone from the slips called out, "Hurry up dickhead, it's not like it's a Test match". To which he casually looked over his shoulder and drawled, "Of course it's not. You're out here."

Probably the most memorable I ever heard playing baseball was directed at me by an ex-team mate. "Seriously mate, you're the Seven of Spades". As in, in the deck - but nobody wants you. Even our own bench laughed. Still makes me chuckle (and stings a tiny bit) 15 years later. If you're out there, well played and f*ck you, Hutcho! :)

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w from brisbane mutters...

Posted November 27, 2013

Pointing out the batsman's batting deficiencies is entirely fair.
And actual banter is fun.
However, there are not too many Oscar Wildes in the slips cordon.

This is an example of the general standard from the last game I played.
Addressed to my batting partner..
"Hey, cockhead, cockhead. What's wrong with your girlfriend? Did she eat a pig? Ha, Ha, Ha "...and on and on and on.

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From tweet to blog

Posted November 19, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Started yesterday morning with a quick tweet about Toned Abs selling helicopter gunships to the Taliban to stop refugees and it looked so good sitting there on my screenI decided 140 characters wasn't nearly enough.

Hence todays Blunty.

My only disappointment is the lack of a comment so far that completely misreads the irony and thinks the story is for real.

Aprés lunch, perhaps.

8 Responses to ‘From tweet to blog’

insomniac would have you know...

Posted November 19, 2013

how about Crusty Pete @ 7.38am?

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HAVOCK21 ducks in to say...

Posted November 19, 2013

um, I actually would...and have them wire tapped as well..well, bugged by DSD!......

Maybe we should have given some leopards to the INDO's and bugged them as well!

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Therbs swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 19, 2013

Hav, some bloke at Blunty is using your CAPs lOCK shTICK.

Dave W mutters...

Posted November 19, 2013

But I do think that gARY should win the prize for mISREAD IRonY.

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Therbs ducks in to say...

Posted November 19, 2013

Munterers to get fired up after their lunches are nicked out of the work fridge, probably by cleaners who are illegal brown people.

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BigWillieStyle puts forth...

Posted November 19, 2013

How's the pinched nerve, dear?

John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted November 19, 2013

Playing hell with my Xbox time.

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