Cheeseburger Gothic

And all shall kneel before the Mighty Volvo

Posted October 10, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

"Die screaming, worthless Holden nerds. Kneel before your betters, lowly Ford losers."

The Mountain shall be ours. For we are Volvo and we are Legion.

At Blunty.

26 Responses to ‘And all shall kneel before the Mighty Volvo’

Rob swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 10, 2013

Down in Tasmania.

Where the indolent roam and 50% of the population can't figure out what indolent means, let alone use it in a sentence or for that matter be able to construct a sentence.

The Volvo has been replaced by the Subraru auslander or outback. The WRX is only used by show off boys or people pretending to be rich. The subaru is the new volvo. The new volvo is far too flashy for your Katmandu vest wearing green voter. Instead the denizens of the public service drive something blue and kinda sporty with great utiily.

Not me.

I drive a Jeep. A big black fuck off Jeep.

Rob has opinions thus...

Posted October 10, 2013

and looking at all the typos in that last para. I should really wear my correct glasses when trying to be clever.

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pitpat swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 10, 2013

My dad used to drive a Volvo.

Brother PorkChop has opinions thus...

Posted October 10, 2013

Mine had 2. The second one did over 195KMH although he wasn't driving at that particular time. The first one was a nasty shitbox.

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insomniac has opinions thus...

Posted October 10, 2013

I once owned a Volvo. I had to sit idling until things had warmed up enough to allow the gearbox to work. I have never owned a Ford or Holden.

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Bunyip is gonna tell you...

Posted October 10, 2013

I used to drive a Volvo. I also used to wear a wig and fake moustache. Just saying...

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FormerlyKnownAsSimon is gonna tell you...

Posted October 10, 2013

Bathurst could use some responsibly infuriating Volvo drivers at the moment. Full of wankers thinking they are the incarnation of Brocky and insult the locals with "fuck off you country driver" with a horn blare or two. Although truth be told the way the locals have come out of the wood work to sell anything under the sun to the punters is rather embarrassing. The major inconvenience of the races is that i can't get a park out the front of where i want to go! I may even have to walk one block!

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w from brisbane ducks in to say...

Posted October 10, 2013

When I was in Sydney earlier this year, I had a trip in a Volvo.
It was very roomy, but I thought the ride could have been smoother.
Though the trip did involve a lot of stop/start.

But, all in all, it was a nice journey. Thank you, Sydney Buses.

Lulu reckons...

Posted October 10, 2013

"Thank you, Sydney Buses"

There's a phrase which isn't heard often.

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HAVOCK21 swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 10, 2013

I hear ya get Stockings, moccie's and a nappy with them when ya buy one....NEVER driven one. Been in one!

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Quokka has opinions thus...

Posted October 10, 2013

My (ex) BIL lived on acreage in the hills near Mullum and drove 1. a boxy volvo 2. a tractor.

One day he decided to drive the tractor without the benefits of shoes, despite the warning on the dash 'Always wear shoes when operating the tractor.'

He tried to hit the brakes as he was rolling backwards down the hill (towards the volvo) but OW! OW! OW! it turns out those warning signs about the need for footwear in tractors are there for a reason.

The tractor smacked into the volvo and dealt it a blow that would have finished a lesser vehicle, and, my sister not being someone to waste her hard-earned money on panel beaters, refused to get it fixed, so from that point onwards the volvo shuffled through life with a vicious looking tractor bite carved out of it's arse.

John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted October 10, 2013

And the tractor did not survive.

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Brother PorkChop would have you know...

Posted October 10, 2013

There was a novel that had Volvo bashing in it. One of the van Lustbader books?

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Therbs mumbles...

Posted October 10, 2013

I saw a Volvo once. *shudders*

Bunyip has opinions thus...

Posted October 10, 2013

Quaff brown lemonade until pain desists.

Therbs has opinions thus...

Posted October 10, 2013

Did that last night, then pain this morning.

Bunyip mutters...

Posted October 10, 2013

Let me guess; you stopped taking the medication? There's your problem.

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Gutz reckons...

Posted October 10, 2013

Ahhh the good ole Swedish Tracktor Ovlov...i cannot talk however, my grand father of Finnish descent thought the Lada was the best thing since rollmops.... But he did suffer a brain injury in WW2, so we did cut him quite a bit of slack.

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Dino not to be confused with reckons...

Posted October 10, 2013

Vulvas?

I love Vulvas!

Oh lucky is the man inside a Vulva driving it home.

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ShaneAlpha ducks in to say...

Posted October 10, 2013

I had no idea that they made flat cap helmets.

And I assume that the mighty Volvo sensably driven around Mt Panorama will have the obligatory Bowls Hats on the back shelf, tastefully seperated by a nodding dog.

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MickH swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 10, 2013

Q: What's the difference between a Volvo and the principal's office?

A: It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's office.

Q: Why do they put sidewalks beside most streets and highways?

A: So Volvo owners have a safe place to walk home.

Q: What's the difference between a Volvo and a Porcupine?

A: When it comes to a Volvo, the prick is on the inside.

Q: Why do they fit ABS braking systems to the latest Volvos?

A: So the driver can stop quicker to pick up the fallen off parts.

Q: How do you make a Volvo go faster downhill?

A: Turn off the engine.

Q: What is the difference between a Volvo and a shopping trolley?

A: A shopping trolley is much easier to push.

Q: Why are the latest Volvos so aerodynamically designed?

A: It improves the Chevy towe truck's fuel consumption.

Q: What is the aim of a Volvo project car?

A: An attempt to keep their car running.

Q: What is the difference between a Volvo and a tampon?

A: A tampon comes with it's own tow rope.

Q: Why are Volvo dealers giving away a dog with each Volvo sold?

A: So the owner has a companion to walk home with.

Q: How do you double the value of a Volvo Icon?

A: Full the tank with petrol.

Q: What did the Toyota say to the Volvo?

A: Would you like a tow home?

Q: What do you call a Volvo at the top of a Hill?

A: A Miracle.

Q: What do you call two Volvos at the top of a hill?

A: A mirage.

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damian asserts...

Posted October 10, 2013

The weird thing about the 200 series Volvos was the placement of the coil, a really stupidly long way from the (in those days still mechanical) distributor. In practice this meant that if your 245DL suffered chronic electrical corrosion due to the weird tinkerings* of a mad hungarian previous owner/bequeather/FIL, you could guarantee that the RACQ, RACV and NRMA van would not carry a long enough replacement coil lead.

Oh and 245DLs had tail-gunner seats, usually stowed under the floor in the cargo area. Removing these yielded a brilliant extra compartment, which we used for roof racks and the very large number of tools required to keep the thing running. If I said that you haven't lived till you've changed the water pump on a 70s Volvo, I'd most likely be lying.

Yeah I reckon Toyotas are pretty good for Australian cars. Holden seems to be nothing but lightly modified Opels these days, which I'm sure are fine for Europe; and Ford is... well the less said about Ford the better. Did someone really say Jeep? Sorry, laughing too hard to respond meaningfully.

*He had/has some bizarre theories about advancing the timing, which he has implemented on all his cars that I have been aware of. He insists it boosts performance while improving fuel economy, but what it actually does is make the car stall while idling, even when the idle is set high.

Rob mutters...

Posted October 11, 2013

my jeep is fabulous. what with its v6 mercedes engine and all round blackness.

damian swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 12, 2013

But... it's still a Jeep, and therefore hilarious. Sorry dude, just the way it is. A Jeep... snicker.

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coriolisdave reckons...

Posted October 12, 2013

Rob, you may find this illuminating

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Rob reckons...

Posted October 13, 2013

it looks good in my car hole

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Weddings, Parties, Anything Deductible

Posted October 8, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

5 Responses to ‘Weddings, Parties, Anything Deductible’

Lulu mutters...

Posted October 8, 2013

Weddings, parties - and in the case of Toned Abs himself, apparently an iron man event.

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Blarkon asserts...

Posted October 8, 2013

I'm sure Havs will be along in a moment to tell us how this is all good.

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HAVOCK21 is gonna tell you...

Posted October 8, 2013

Oi11..lizardooo.....BIT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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HAVOCK21 would have you know...

Posted October 8, 2013
Diod I mention I got a call from teh IT help fkn desk today. A job I had logged, waqnting a new e.mail address for Facilities, they wanted to know if I still needed it, the JOB was logged at the beginning of fkn APRIL!..yeah........fk great servioce!...fkn muppets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, next thing they will be telling up we need to gets ready for the Y3K bug!

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Dino not to be confused with swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 10, 2013

JB,

Didn't comment on Blunty cause the ATO don't know where I live and "apparently" I owe them money.

I know this site is secure.

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Respond to 'Weddings, Parties, Anything Deductible'

War planning and climate change

Posted October 1, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

One my favorite flavors of troll bait.

At Blunty.

30 Responses to ‘War planning and climate change’

BigWillieStyle ducks in to say...

Posted October 1, 2013

I'll be amazed if you get more than 10 comments on this one.

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Lobes is gonna tell you...

Posted October 1, 2013

Brilliant article and the penultimate sentence touches upon what most of the "save the boats" crowd are missing. If and when climate change causes a mass refugee crisis (think 60 million bangladeshis looking for higher ground) its going to be essential to have a border management policy. I say manage and not control because realistically the Australian coastline is too big too control.

Murphy asserts...

Posted October 1, 2013

Indoctrinate and co-opt the ones you think are potentially reliable into helping you police your coastline.

That said, finding a way to accomodate and adapt to immigrant populations is probably going to be a more successful strategy than simply trying to fence yourselves in.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

Blarkon mutters...

Posted October 1, 2013

Yeah but Australia is going to be even more like Arrakis - so your climate change refugees are probably going to look for somewhere a little more hospitible, like Antarctica.

Murphy mumbles...

Posted October 1, 2013

Desalinization plants.

Of course, you'd have to get past that pesky anti-nuke policy of yours.

Lulu ducks in to say...

Posted October 1, 2013

We have a desal plant here in Victoria. Of course, by the time it was completed, the drought had ended but we're ready for the next one.

Peter Bradley swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 1, 2013

We also have a desal plant in Adelaide so now all we need is a carbon neutral way of powering it!

damian reckons...

Posted October 1, 2013

Desal plants can work just fine on solar, if they are needed. And more so on wind, as the energy in weather cranks up.

NBlob ducks in to say...

Posted October 2, 2013

My Dad had a cracker of an idea. Google map the Airport of your choice. Imagine all of that blacktop; runways, taxiways, verges, aprons, feeders etc laced with pipes carrying ethyl glycol, fed through a heat exchanger, boiling seawater. Hey presto almost free potable water.

Airports resurface regularly, the trick would be a modular unit one could drop in as scheduled maintenance.

damian asserts...

Posted October 3, 2013

The pipes don't have to be anything fancy, since the heat-absorbing part should be the low-pressure (expansion) side anyway. If they are going to get really hot then something that'll work with that is indicated...otherwise PVC drainpipe is fine. Mind you there are plastics these days that I'm sure could handle the temperatures you'd see under the tarmac.

Point is that there might be some sense in nuclear for some applications, but the ones that really do make sense are vanishingly few. Meantime we are simply astonishingly stupid about heat and the wide range of existing technologies that make good use of it, simply because they don't fit into the right people's business models.

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Halwes would have you know...

Posted October 1, 2013

Buy shares in guns, nuclear weapons, private detention companies and sunscreen. No reason why we should starve, burn and go broke at the same time.

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Murphy reckons...

Posted October 1, 2013

Every other day on various feeds I see report after report of military installations turning to solar and wind power while working on hybrid and electric engine designs for future support and combat vehicles.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

ShaneAlpha reckons...

Posted October 1, 2013

Don't forget the ones that run on high temperature gas fuel cells.

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Conspiracy Cat asserts...

Posted October 1, 2013

Wow, JB. You've got yourself one hell of a troll-fest going on over there at Blunty, and it's not even lunch time. (They are trolls, right?) It was tempting to leave a comment about Creationism, and how that is the only model which has yet proved accurate, but all that virtual shouting was giving me a headache. I'm going to google search Nigella Lawson recipes instead.

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insomniac has opinions thus...

Posted October 1, 2013

Speaking of upcoming wars, is it true that TA, in his conversations with President BamBam, said he thought Pebbles had let herself go somewhat, and that he always had a thing for Betty, a girl with real sex appeal?

NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted October 2, 2013

Noice

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Dino not to be confused with is gonna tell you...

Posted October 1, 2013

Nice article JB.

Sweet F' All denier comments.

All dressed up...

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HAVOCK21 would have you know...

Posted October 1, 2013

What fkn warming!

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damian would have you know...

Posted October 1, 2013

The rapid disapperance of arctic ice is itself a developing naval situation. Shipping companies are already banking on the new routes.

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sibeen puts forth...

Posted October 2, 2013

Fuck I despise blunty.

Make a comment, nada, zilch, nothing. A bloody black hole.

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted October 2, 2013

Me too. My security certificate expired at least a month ago. I still haven't been able to shake free a new access code from IT. And without me tending the comments, they can go for hours without an update.

HAVOCK21 has opinions thus...

Posted October 2, 2013

tell ya what, hows about, you post up here th e/mail addy oif the editor and his IT mates, I think, that in reasonably short fkn order we might well get the message through to the fkn muppets!

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Peter Bradley would have you know...

Posted October 2, 2013

"Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome."
-- Samuel Johnson,

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tqft has opinions thus...

Posted October 2, 2013
As I said over there the wars have started it is a question of how hot.

Be looking at Siberia as a possible sight of conflict again between the Chinese and Russians.
Also Antarctica at least parts maybe habitable within 100 years. Are we even thinking that far ahead? The time to think is now so we can preemptively act when it becomes an issue


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ShaneAlpha mumbles...

Posted October 2, 2013

I am thinking of the walruses. I thinking of Havok let loose with an army of heavily armed walruses to command.

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Sinnysider reckons...

Posted October 2, 2013

Looks like Greenland may soon live up to it's name again ; for those in the Northern hemisphere.,looking to move! It'll be much smaller ,of course, without the ice sheet!

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DiddyWrote puts forth...

Posted October 2, 2013

The US military consumes about 85 million barrels of oil a year making it the biggest single consumer in the world. Even without global warming, peak oil will make the worlds only superpower impotent unless it finds different way to fuel it's war machine.

According to the US Army Materiel Command a gallon of fuel delivered to the US military in action can cost up to $400. Think about that when you next fill up the tank (petrol not battle).

HAVOCK21 swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 2, 2013

Diddy, yep, then think about the types of tanks the US operates, that is, the types of multifuel engines they have in the M1 series....yep. JET FKN TURBINE! and...well dont get me started, but we bought some........ UNFKN FORTUNATELY!

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Freebaggers

Posted September 26, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

They're a curse.

At Blunty.

10 Responses to ‘Freebaggers’

nhamilton@iinet.net.au swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 26, 2013

It has always been known as The Hairy Tongue in my world. A bit of fun with a borrowed camera at a wedding led to the bride asking what was in the photo that looked like a hairy tongue.

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Dino not to be confused with has opinions thus...

Posted September 26, 2013

Yeah, but JB, Summer is basically here and going commando is about as "Australian" as you can get.

AY Mate!

How's your eggs?.

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Mayhem's Mum ducks in to say...

Posted September 26, 2013

I myself would not have noticed a rehearsal of The Full Monty by the local amateuer theatrical society if I had a plate of dukkah dusted eggs before me. Have you become so gastronomically jaded, Mr Birmingham, Sir, that a mere 'A Capella' display can put you off your holiday breakfast? A word to the wise, good Sir. Avert your eyes and clean your plate. Wasting food is inexcusable when there are people out there who cannot afford undergarments let alone dukkah dusted eggs.

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Rob puts forth...

Posted September 26, 2013

Balls! like what I saw tonight. (just pimping my new blog thingy)

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Jayanthi's Atomic Cat mumbles...

Posted September 27, 2013
My cabaret group is booked to do an NYE show at the local nudie retreat. Maybe you could come and compere. I'm told that graded exposure therapy is effective and since you've already done step one...

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AllyOops swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 27, 2013

?thanks for the links much appreciated. I do wonder if the fairfax overlords realise that I don't read smh rather I read Ross G, Julia B, yourself and others. Now you are all in a pool of commentary perhaps I am supposed to think of you all as fair fax comments. That's no way to treat the talent and can only weaken their shaky business model.

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted September 27, 2013

Maybe you should tell them.

AllyOops mumbles...

Posted September 27, 2013

Done!

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Miss Maudy swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 27, 2013

FLASHBACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As a child (maybe 11 or 12) at my grandparents place, sleeping on the couch in the lounge room. Grandfather did not see fit to wear undergarments of any description ever. In summer, he wore stubbies. From my supine position on the couch, the view was unforgettable.

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Ol' Jim mutters...

Posted September 27, 2013

My brother has the nasty habit of free-balling in shorts and driving with one leg up on near the gear stick. Manys the time I've had to insist the kiwifruit get put away in the fruit bowl.

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Of time and music

Posted September 19, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

I'm trying to avoid writing about politics for a little while, although Clive Palmer is sorely tempting me. Today's Blunty, about discovering an old album which had passed me by, is my attempt to stay away from all too easy to make jokes about Prime Minister Toned Abs.

10 Responses to ‘Of time and music’

Mayhem's Mum mutters...

Posted September 19, 2013

One is dismayed by the vast number of classic songs that are covered, sampled and outright stolen by the talentless naked whores who pass for musicians these days. One constantly finds oneself muttering 'I used to like that song' before furiously hurling one's crystal set into the corner of the Oubliette. Their insidious behaviour would be less annoying if one could convince the talentless naked whores to get off my lawn.

Correction. My Lord And Master Greybeard's (Keeper of the crystal, bringer of gruel, genetic mutater of rats) lawn. Perhaps one might convince said Lord and Master to transfer his genetic mutation experiments from the Raterati to the talented naked whores. His first experiment could be to train the whores to actually sing. The second, to put some pants on. The third? To get off my (his) lawn. Yes. Yes, this is a good plan. One shall start work on the bribe immediately. A rat skin fedora should do it.

w from brisbane has opinions thus...

Posted September 19, 2013

Though MM, the good thing about that is, I can say my rock/pop listening consists of 90% new music. Ain't I awesome?
Mind you, the fact that my new music mostly sounds like it could have come straight from the seventies, still leaves me an enormous and enjoyable range of new performers and songs.

beeso mutters...

Posted September 19, 2013

Those classic songs? They just stole from someone else. http://everythingisaremix.info/watch-the-series/

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NBlob mumbles...

Posted September 19, 2013

Is there a martial arts term for the moment of maximum fkedupness? At least a Sun Tzu reference? I guess deadline for X000 words has a certain motivational quality.

damian reckons...

Posted September 19, 2013

The second law of thermodynamics as a koan perhaps?

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Rob mumbles...

Posted September 19, 2013

Musical kinda week.....

I had some amazon preorder shiny discs arrive this week on idie/hipster black vinyl no less. The new Nine Inch Nails album arrived but with a CD included ( i don't own a turntable) so its on my PS3 playing off the hard drive. I bought the vinyl because it was cheap to buy a bundle and reminds of the day I bought their first LP back in 1989 when I didnt have a CD player nor children but I did have black dreadlocks and a $37.50 weekly rental payment to find.

Clive Palmer's output reminds me of this book http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It_Can't_Happen_Here, scary when you compare his ramblings to Buzz Windrip.

Oh and I got some artwork published on Laibach's website 'their not nazis its all about the art man...' to paraphrase JB in that book he wrote.

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Barnesm asserts...

Posted September 19, 2013

I posted a while ago on Bluntie, and as at a few minutes ago on 3 comments - is there a problem over there?

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted September 19, 2013

Yes. The problem is my security certificate has expired and the process of getting it renewed is Hell. So I can't get in to wrangle comments.

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Conspiracy Cat swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 19, 2013

Avast, Cap'n Birmingham! Ye scurvey dog! Here it be 'International Talk Like A Pirate' day, and ye be yammerin' about landlubber stuff. Ye could have at least sung the lads a bawdy sea shanty. Arrgh, I ort tae keelhaul ye!

Lulu reckons...

Posted September 19, 2013

By complete coincidence, this morning I was reading Caitlin Moran's account of interviewing Keith Richards on a previous 'International Talk Like A Pirate' day.

excerpt:

"to be frank, everything Keith Richards says is in the cadence of Pirate. With his black eyes, bandanna and earring, even at 67, he has the air of a rakish gentleman forced to steal a frigate and abscond from polite society - due to some regrettable misunderstanding about a virgin daughter, a treasure map and a now-smouldering Admiralty building. "

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The Return of the Ruddbot

Posted June 28, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

A spare Blunty I knocked up after the ALP's shennanigans took all the air out of my Edward Snowden piece.

Everyone had thought the movie was over, but in the very last act, when all seemed lost, rising from the smoking rubble, twisted steel girders falling and crashing all around the flame scarred mono-bonded carbon armour of its outer plating, the Ruddbot spooled up its fusion stacks, threw off the last clinging ant-like warriors of the Usurper Queen and bellowed its war shout.

"Must toodle-oo! Coming Albo?"

Unsurprisingly, some commenters can't help themselves and simply had to let their humourless inner gimp off the leash.

26 Responses to ‘The Return of the Ruddbot’

FormerlyKnownAsSimon would have you know...

Posted June 28, 2013

Oh dear dog. The list of parallels to public figures is endless. Endless i tells ya! I'd like to take a shot but for fear of a possible libel suit i think i will just toy with it in my mind.

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Lulu reckons...

Posted June 28, 2013

I'd move to Queensland just so I could vote against the treacherous, sanctimonious little sh!t.

Lulu has opinions thus...

Posted June 28, 2013

To clarify: I meant Rudd not our esteemed host JB.

Rob is gonna tell you...

Posted June 28, 2013

If you move to Qld you can probably kill two birds with one stone. Vote against Rudd and sneak into JB's pool for a swim. Everyone loves double prizes.

Conspiracy Cat would have you know...

Posted June 29, 2013

No, Lulu, don't listen to him! You do NOT want to swim in JB's pool. At least, not until he figures out how to remove the port-wine-jelly stains. And the goat.

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NBlob ducks in to say...

Posted June 28, 2013

2 words. Huzz & Zah.

Disregard the petty sniping from those so called Booker Prize judges. You sir are an artist. Perhaps the greatest artist of our time. The delicate counterpoint achieved by extracting urine, PoMo references and dancing around the pyre of irony. Delicous.

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BigWillieStyle puts forth...

Posted June 28, 2013

I slept in this morning. Is Rudd the PM today? So fucken hard to keep track these days.

Surely there's a phalanx of ALP pointy-head types hunched over in a bunker somewhere studying polling numbers? Adam Scott seems to be pretty popular these days. I think the 5,714 Hemsworth brothers are travelling quite well too. Mel from Kochie n' Mel needs a new gig.

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pi asserts...

Posted June 28, 2013

That kerthunking sound you keep hearing is the sound of bricks being shat.

I honestly believe that Tony Abbott is the Mark Latham of the liberals. The people who'd vote for him will never vote for anyone else, but there are some people, for whatever reason, would have chosen him over Gillard. Now that the Ruddbot is back, people will start feeling all the sunshine and light that only this particular ferverance will allow.

Now... I've got to zip, but I'll be back later...

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Shifty Tourist ducks in to say...

Posted June 28, 2013

Just can't believe how many times the ALP can commit electoral suicide during two terms in office.... ditching Rudd in the first place was a huge mistake, Gillard was always going to struggle being under the cloud of "the assassination" of KRudd. The only way she was ever going to gain legitimacy was by winning big in the following election.... but she didn't of course.... partly because of Rudd, but also partly because the ALP couldn't get their shite together.... also because Gillards entire communications team needed to be fed to the sharks.... or fired, whichever is the more apprioprate in the circumstances. How any communications team can think that coming out and saying she hadn't been "the real Julia" in the middle of an election.... I almost screamed... have these people never worked in communications before?

That was not the first, nor the last act of political footshooting. Then they go back to Rudd.... who, will probably get a bump in the polls, hey he could probably win the election.... but only if it were held in the next two weeks.... after that people will realise, hey, the ALP are so disfunctional they've just changed leaders again, I'm glad the righted the wrong against Rudd, now... where do I found Abbotts name on this ballot box?

Stupidity.... Before this the ALP were committing slow suicide by living a hard and fast lifestyle, cigarettes, booze, sex drugs and rock and roll. But this is suicide by arsenic!!!

In my humble, inexpert opinon of course.

Shifty Tourist mutters...

Posted June 28, 2013

Just to get in before any possible pendants who might be lurking;

I realise voters don't elect a PM directly

And I meant ballot paper, and ballot box.

Oh and grammer and spelling arn't my thing.

Darth Greybeard puts forth...

Posted June 28, 2013

Is there anything else you'd like to confess my son? Everything here is subject to the seal of the derisional and will never be repeated. Trust me, I have one of those robe thingies and a funny hat.

Shiftytouristfromthefuture would have you know...

Posted June 28, 2013

NOOOOOOOOOOO!

w from brisbane mumbles...

Posted June 28, 2013

Too late, Mr. Shifty 'Nickleback' Tourist.

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Shifty Tourist reckons...

Posted June 28, 2013

Thanks Greybeard...

I think I also once bought a Nickleback album... their song "How You Remind Me" was THE only song that really understood my pain.

Wow, I feel so much better now. If anybody found that out I'd be REALLY screwed.

insomniac reckons...

Posted June 28, 2013

Don't worry. It's been recorded and triangulated, and someone, somewhere is just reaching for the phone to give WikiLeaks a call

Shifty Tourist ducks in to say...

Posted June 28, 2013

But.. but... he said the confession was protected by the seal of the derisional, so ..... hang on.... derisional... oh shit... I see what he did there, GREYBEARD!!!! (shakes fist)

NBlob reckons...

Posted June 28, 2013

With him it's the triple crown of derisional, decrepit & more than a little delusional.

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yankeedog has opinions thus...

Posted June 28, 2013

Ruddsie's back! We kept your chair warm for you!

Shifty Tourist swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 28, 2013

Unconfirmed reports (in other words made up) say he his first words to caucus on being reappointed were "as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted"

pi reckons...

Posted June 28, 2013

That's gold Shifty.

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MickH puts forth...

Posted June 28, 2013

I'm still chuckling over Greybeards "Gina the Hutt' comment

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damian is gonna tell you...

Posted June 28, 2013

Read it this morning and loved it, but didn't have time to comment and couldn't stick around to join in the fun. Nice, and I especially liked the graphic. Having determined that I'd be listening to nothing but Liszt 'cello sonatas from now till the election, and in the case of what seemed like the inevitable despair-inducing result, several years afterward, I find now that this will be an interesting election after all.

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damian would have you know...

Posted June 28, 2013

Read it this morning and loved it, but didn't have time to comment and couldn't stick around to join in the fun. Nice, and I especially liked the graphic. Having determined that I'd be listening to nothing but Liszt 'cello sonatas from now till the election, and in the case of what seemed like the inevitable despair-inducing result, several years afterward, I find now that this will be an interesting election after all.

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andyf would have you know...

Posted June 29, 2013

you have to help us at this point o jb.

which faction is the evil Thatcherite one?

damian reckons...

Posted June 29, 2013

The current leader of the opposition, Tony Abbot, is a non-ideological social conservative who is aligned with the Thatcher-like right of the conservative movement in Australia. While he doesn't appear to have a personal position on economics, he clearly hangs with business types and has a tendency not to understand that things might exist outside of a mainstream context where people are making money from it. Hence for instance his recently much-publicised remark that Malcolm Turnbull "virtually invented" the internet in Australia.

What Turnbull actually did was invest in an internet company during the 90s tech boom, and the fact he made quite a bit of money doing so made "the internet" respectable for some conservative business types (while Australia actually innovates and invents stuff "above its weight", Australian business traditionally is extremely suspicious of innovation compared to almost anywhere else... something must already be proved in the USA before the rusted-on investors will consider it). The internet in Australia, of course, was built by the universities without the co-operation of the monopoly telecom provider, who was the recipient of largesse when the government of the time turned this infrastructure over to it with the intent it should be made profitable "somehow".

Arguably Turnbull himself, who is currently the opposition communications spokesman, is more a classic Thatcherite economic neo-liberal. However he happens to be a social liberal too, so he both appeals to the Australian left to whom he seems less extremist than Abbott, and fails to convince the unpleasant social conservatives that Australia has in as much abundance as anywhere, possibly more so as you might note from some of the press around the sexist treatment of Australia's first female PM over the last 3 years. Rudd is ALP-right but not far from centre, probably more like Tony Blair than any Aus politician at the moment. The recently deposed Gillard and the new deputy PM Albanese are ALP left by background, though both position (or positioned) themselves as centrist reformers. Albanese made a rather wonderful statement in the middle of another leadship challenge a few months ago to the effect that he wished this stuff would all go away because "I just want to fight Tories. That's what I do". There is an equally wonderful cartoon of Albanese with this statement available on a t-shirt... Personally, I'd love to see Albo as PM and I hope he will be one day.

That's a moderately partisan telling, but should be as good a breifing as you might expect...

w from brisbane ducks in to say...

Posted June 29, 2013

That is very good, damian.

And Rudd is an economic and social conservative, but with a strong social justice ethic.

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