Cheeseburger Gothic

Action movie problems

Posted February 12, 2015 into Movies by John Birmingham

This analysis of what's wring with modern action movies is also a brilliant primer on how to write SPLODEY novels. I've bookmarked it and watched it twice already. Runs just over twenty minutes so you'll need to pour yourself a drink to enjoy it properly.

17 Responses to ‘Action movie problems’

insomniac swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted February 12, 2015
I guess it helps you "squeeze" the most out of one's writing

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TheWah asserts...

Posted February 12, 2015
District 9 is a great action/sci-fi because it follows these points

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MickH reckons...

Posted February 12, 2015
Wow! that was really good. I can see why you are taking notes.Who is the Stuckmann guy anyway? He really knows his stuff

John Birmingham mutters...

Posted February 12, 2015
Yeah, it's good, innit. I could spin a whole writing class up out of this video.

Bunyip has opinions thus...

Posted February 12, 2015
What Mick said. A tasty portion of thinky. Ta muchly.

Blarkon has opinions thus...

Posted February 15, 2015
Don't spin up a writing class. Write a short ebook on it. Put a farking splodey cover on it. Make buckets of cash. Buy a second gold plated hovercraft.
We all know that books about writing books sell like a bastard because, as one burger once delicately suggested, there are more bastards wanting to write books than there are bastards wanting to read them.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted February 15, 2015
"there are more bastards wanting to write books than there are bastards wanting to read them."

Who was the cynical jackanape who said that?

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted February 13, 2015
It proves me with a whole new appreciation for Water World.

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Darth Greybeard is gonna tell you...

Posted February 13, 2015
So good I watched his Horror Movie piece too. Much of what he said made me think of Joseph Campbell's Hero with a Thousand Faces and the nature of the hero and the hero's journey. Michael Scott Rohan put a classic hero "Alf" in his Winter of the World trilogy. The whole 'start as a poor and despised orphan' bit but with some interesting, even unique twists which I won't mention for those who haven't read his stuff. You couldn't film it but it ticks all the boxes for an action movie.
Also thought Stuckmann was spot on with why Indiana Jones 4 was so crappy, even though he didn't mention Shia LaBeouf.

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Barnesm is gonna tell you...

Posted February 13, 2015
I loved how the cadence of his speech match some of the sequences of the films he was highlighting, example his description of the fluidity of the final fight sequence in the subway of The Matrix .

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GhostSwirv has opinions thus...

Posted February 13, 2015

Great find JB, Stuckmann is spot on with his analysis, interesting how he left out any mention of 'Bayhem', a director who has been criticised for his wild editing and incoherent action sequences.

What's also interesting is the way he references JB on his Hero List er James Bond I mean - Daniel Craig as Bond, bloodied, defenceless and vulnerable. No mention of Connery or Moore's characterisations, although early Sean Bond had him injured and pushing through pain to get the job done.

With Rog you never really thought he was getting a hair outta place.

One of the key strengths with Indiana Jones is that he gets hurt in the pursuit of his goal, we see and share his pain, unlike some Bond episodes whereby we're watching from afar.

A few years back the interwebs was atingle with a release of Transcripts of story conversations between George Lucas, Steven Spielberg and Lawrence Kasdan about the writing of Raiders, if you haven't read I highly recommend a sqizz.
Click here to download a PDF of the transcript.

I'm definitely inflicting Stuckmann's clip on my classes, the considered, thoughtful approach to his analysis makes for a refreshing change from the usual 'ShakeyCamness' of the Internet as a whole.

GhostSwirv over and out to prepare for the last lesson of the week, I wonder what Stuckmann has to say about Shakespeare?

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted February 14, 2015
Based on a comment this guy made about John Wick I rented it and am watching it. I'm really enjoying it - and it seems to follow Stuckman's formula for a decent action film.

Better yet, Reeves is actually doing an unexpectedly good job acting. Very few terrible choices so far.

Based on what I've seen thus far, I recommend this film.

w from brisbane mutters...

Posted February 14, 2015
PNB, this is a dumb question, but when you say you rented the movie, did you actually go to a bricks and mortar store and rent the DVD? Just about all our DVD stores in Brisbane have closed down and, as I don't torrent, I am puzzled how people view a specific movie that they might want to watch. How do the Burgers do it?

Barnesm puts forth...

Posted February 14, 2015
I either download from Foxtel or posted in the mail using Quickflic. Though they also provide on demand to your computer. Currently working through Neon Genesis Evangelion watching the episodes on Friday night with my son. So if you take up Quickflic I'd appreciae you not adding to your que until we finish watching it

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted February 15, 2015
W:

Okay, you got me - I make it all up. Like Brian Williams. I am desperate for approval. I've been fabricating stuff here for years, but no one has called me on my bullshit. Except that one time when I summarized Gone With the Wind as a touching movie about a boy who suffered a childhood kiting mishap that haunted him for the rest of his life, spurring him on to become a billionaire but also leaving him with the unquenchable desire to sexually abuse 21 year old college seniors who write for the student newspaper, possibly because the protagonist, Rhett, blamed the loss of his kite on his mother, Scarlett, who, at the time of Rhett's kiting mishap, was a 21 year old college senior who wrote for the University of Alabama student newspaper. However, both Barnesm and Nblob were quick to point out that Gone With the Wind was about the American civil war.

But that was the only time I got caught in my web of lies. Until now.

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Madmaximus has opinions thus...

Posted February 14, 2015
Thanks JB, this fellow just articulated so well everything I love about a good action movie. I like that he singled out Cruise who despite his crazy personal life remains a very committed action movie star. Edge of Tomorrow was one of the best movies of last year, and reminds me I need to get around to seeing Oblivion.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted February 15, 2015
Cruise's personal life is a wreck, but he is a good actor who makes good movies. I liked Oblivion very much and loved Edge of Tomorrow - both of which follow Stuckmann's recommendations. And the nightclub scene in Collateral was one of the best things I've ever seen in any action film.

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Kirk vs Vader. I want to see this film NOW

Posted February 8, 2015 into Movies by John Birmingham

Best Star Wars Star Trek mash up ever, by Alex Luthor.

22 Responses to ‘Kirk vs Vader. I want to see this film NOW’

Blarkon ducks in to say...

Posted February 8, 2015
The only person who defeated Vader was his kid - and that was most likely because Vader was a little bit conflicted about the whole thing.
(One could kinda argue that Anakin was beaten a few times before he became a Jedi - but even then he wiped the floor with Count Dooku)
Remember when Han Solo took on Vader in cloud city? Han Solo could totally take Kirk.

John Birmingham ducks in to say...

Posted February 8, 2015
Yeah right. After he thaws out of the oversized ice cube where Jabba stored him for cocktail hour.

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insomniac puts forth...

Posted February 8, 2015
Only the Shat could defeat Vader. That new kid, whatever his name is, has no chance.

WA n'ker has opinions thus...

Posted February 8, 2015
Would james t shatner have enough time to defeat vader? He would be flat out porking leia and the rest of the rebel female population!

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GhostSwirv asserts...

Posted February 8, 2015

I would pay big bucks to see Kirk go after Vader in 3D, 4D, even 5DD - but in the meantime, how about a little Turnball vs Abbott as re-imagined by Kirk vs Gorn.

http://youtu.be/4SK0cUNMnMM

GhostSwirv over and out to buy more terabits to record #libspill

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Murphy asserts...

Posted February 8, 2015
"Be Anakin again!" Kirk implored. "Be the Change the Empire can believe in!"

damian is gonna tell you...

Posted February 8, 2015
I endorse this comment and would like to subscribe to your pamphlet.

Murphy mutters...

Posted February 9, 2015
For the affordable price of just 19.95 (American), you can do just that.

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Blarkon mutters...

Posted February 8, 2015
The "Batman Versus Vader" video is a bit better https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nj23dwWHukY

Murphy would have you know...

Posted February 9, 2015
I didn't like the ending. It felt staged.

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MickH has opinions thus...

Posted February 8, 2015
Batman with a light saber? wow!

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MickH reckons...

Posted February 9, 2015
Hmm on closer inspection, I'd offer up this scenario:No1: 'Captain! These strange vessels are attacking us! They have only lasers and no shields!'Capt: 'Hmm, No1, transport a photon torpedo onto their bridge'

:)

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Blarkon has opinions thus...

Posted February 9, 2015
Ships in Star Wars had shields. They were called deflectors. Did you not play X-Wing? Do you not remember some of Han's dialog in Empire? Do you not remember the big arse shield generators that look like D20 that sit on the top of a Star Destroyer?

Murphy swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted February 9, 2015
Kirk, "Scotty, give me phasers on those shield generators."
Spock, "Curious, Captain. Why place them in such a location rather than within the hull?"
"Firing phasers," Scott tapped the console.
"Shields are down, Captain," Spock said.

"Mr. Scott?"

"Aye, sir?"

"Torpedoes beamed straight onto their bridge," Kirk said, rubbing his face to keep the smirk from being too obvious.
Scotty did grin. "Aye, sir!"

Blarkon reckons...

Posted February 9, 2015
Suspect it would be more like when the Enterprise-D fired phasers at the Borg and didn't do shit.
Or when 39 Federation starships were quickly gutted by a single Borg cube at Wolf 359
Now if it was Alastair Reynold's Inhibitors versus Kirk or Vader - that would be kinda interesting.

MickH reckons...

Posted February 9, 2015
Blarkon. Mate. Just face it mate. Star trek, given their transporters, would kick the Empires arse. Every.Single.Time.
Shields or no shields.
And yes I have played those games

Blarkon reckons...

Posted February 9, 2015
Although "Enterprise versus Star Destroyer" is the ultimate pointless Sci-Fi argument - it's very interesting that in all of TOS/TNG/DS9 & VOY there was no example of a photon torpedo being beamed onto an enemy ship during a battle.

Neither was there an example of engines beamed out of ships rather than phasers being used in an "ensign, target their engines and disable them" approach.

When having these silly arguments, one must abide by by the internal logic of the source narrative. For example, the Federation doesn't use cloaking devices (except in one very specific set of circumstances - even though they are in a cold war with the Romulans - even though they've had them since TOS). I'm not saying that the source narrative makes sense - but one has to abide by the rules otherwise you have everyone chucking red matter singularity torpedoes because that's something that could be extrapolated from the Star Trek reboot.

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Sparty mutters...

Posted February 9, 2015
well Kirk v Vader- is not USS Enterprise V IDS Executer - its the two of them on a planet. - I could talk about Spock mind melding with Kirk to neutralise Vader's Force Will, Scotty using a Tricorder to block the light sabre ignition sequence, Bones hacking Vader's Cybernetic implants- it means nothing once the Shat gets his shirt torn and reveals his manly chest - beat that Vader, as Jimbo drop kicks his ass......

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Sparty has opinions thus...

Posted February 9, 2015
The real question is could Leia resist giving Kirk the location of the rebel base after is has taught her of a little (PAUSE) earth emotion (PAUSE) we (PASUE) call (PAUSE) luuuuuv...

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Vovchara would have you know...

Posted February 10, 2015
ha, here it is:http://unitysaga.com/
not Kirk, but Data vs. Vader :D and Picard vs. Imperator

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Nocturnalist swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted February 10, 2015
"I find your lack of faith disturbing."

"Faith... is illogical."

Vovchara has opinions thus...

Posted February 11, 2015
your logic is nothing compared to the might of The Force

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Post Human robot wars

Posted October 24, 2014 into Movies by John Birmingham

Nice catch by Professor Boylan. A beautifully produced short about robots fighting our wars after we've been annihilated by robots fighting our wars.

Deets at iO9.

11 Responses to ‘Post Human robot wars’

Murphy mumbles...

Posted October 24, 2014
Wow.

Just makes you want to see more of it.

Respects,
Murph
On the Outer Marches

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w from brisbane is gonna tell you...

Posted October 24, 2014
Great to look at; the design, the detail and movement.
I am not visually creative. Having that ability must be quite thrilling at times

Bunyip ducks in to say...

Posted October 24, 2014
I must say, I too was rather impressed by his design approach for both of the aircraft.

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NBlob mutters...

Posted October 24, 2014
Oh man that is Teh Shiznit.
10/10 & an wombat stamp.

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@simongarlick swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 24, 2014
Reminds me of a short story I read as a child, title and author now faded in my memory. Nicholas Fisk maybe?

tk428 reckons...

Posted October 24, 2014
Same. About an automated bomber being refilled at an automated base

And similar to Ray Bradbury's - There will come soft rains

Nicely done film though

Nocturnalist asserts...

Posted October 24, 2014
Bertrand Russell's Nightmares of Eminent Persons had a story in it that sounds similar.

@simongarlick has opinions thus...

Posted October 28, 2014
tk428 - yeah, I think we might be remembering the same story. Automatic oil refinery processing oil for automatic refuelling of the automatic bomber which kept on flying missions and dropping bombs on an earth "on which nothing had lived for a long, long time"

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DNABeast ducks in to say...

Posted October 24, 2014
I could easily watch another 20 minutes of that.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted October 24, 2014
I'll try to contact the writer/director and find out if the world can expect a little more.

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Chaz is gonna tell you...

Posted October 24, 2014

excellent, simply excellent.

of course if Lockheed Martins plans for portable fusion plants become reality so might this.....


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Ghostbusters: the total lady reboot

Posted October 9, 2014 into Movies by John Birmingham

It's happening. A Ghostbusters reboot. It seems like one of those things that grew out of some offhand internet meme. Somebody asked Bill Murray who he'd cast in a remake, if he was remaking the classic with an female cast. Murray said something about Melissa McCarthy (a great pick) and it snowballed, or Staypuft, from there.

Or something.

Paul Fieg, director of The Heat, the Sandra Bullock/McCarthy buddy-cop chick flick that wasn't really a chick flick, and Bridesmaids, which I took Anna to by accident and scarred her forever, confirmed via tweet that he'll direct an all-female cast in a reboot of the series. (Although 'series' is probably pushing the envelope, since GB2 was an abomination and all who sullied themsleves in it should be cursed unto the seventh generation).

There's a good interview here, at EW, in which Fieg is quite forthcoming about the inevitable hazards of even going there:

PAUL FEIG: I had been contacted by Sony and Ivan a number of months ago when I was in Budapest shooting my new movie Spy. But I was like, I don’t know if I want to take that on because the first two are such classics and just because of how do you do it? Who do you bring in now that Harold’s gone? I know that Bill didn’t want to do it and I love Dan, but it was just like I don’t know how to do it. Then I had lunch with [Sony Pictures co-chairman] Amy Pascal when I got back to town. She was just saying, gosh, nobody wants to do this. I said, yeah, it’s really hard to take that on, especially since it’s 25 years later. how do you come back into a world that’s had these ghosts and all this? It just felt too difficult. How do you do it and not screw it up? But then it was bugging me for the next few days because Ghostbusters is such a great thing and everybody knows it, and it’s such a great world. It’s a shame to just let this thing sit there. I want to see another one. My favorite thing to do is work with funny women. I was like, what if it was an all female cast? If they were all women? Suddenly, my mind kind of exploded: that would be really fun. And then I thought, well, what if we just make it new? It’s not coming into the world that existed before. It’s always hard if the world has gone through this big ghost attack, how do you do it again? I wanted to come into our world where there’s talk of ghosts but they’re not really credible, and so what would happen in our world if this happened today?

But since it seems to be happening, the question now is who do you cast? I threw it out to Twitter a few hours ago and people already had their fantasy lists drawn up. Bobgrrl lobbied early and hard for Katee Sackhoff. And I can totally see it, but wonder if Sackhoff's kick arse personality would be, oddly enough, too macho for any of the supergeek roles. Then again, if you read the Feig interview, he doesn't want to simply copy the original, so why not go down that path?

Doc Yobbo, amongst others, thought it would end up as a Poehler/Fey vehicle. Kaz Cooke imagined Meryl Streep and Deb Mailman, but she be trippin'.

Myself, I'd like to see Jennifer Aniston play Venkman. She has the presence and comedic chops to pull it off, and the stature to match our memories of Bill Murray. She's a great and often underrated actor, but drop dead funny with it. I just watched her in "We're The Millers" and believe she could totally nail the Venkman role. Or whatever replaces the lead character from the originals.

You can't make a comedy, let alone one with a female cast and leave Melissa McCarthy out. She's just too good. The problem then becomes who take the last two slots. Poehler and Fey? They'd tussle for control of the screen. Sarah Silverman? Janeane Garafolo? Emma Stone? She's more actor than comedian but such a great actor that it wouldn't matter.

Me? I'm stoked by this idea. It's way more interesting than simply trying to cram Jonah Hill and crew into a reboot.

80 Responses to ‘Ghostbusters: the total lady reboot’

beeso reckons...

Posted October 9, 2014
I was all excited till I saw the director. I really wanted to like bridesmaids, I tried, but just couldn't get into it.
Still, it'd be nice to see a broad range of actors not just a snl clique

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Shelsta78 ducks in to say...

Posted October 9, 2014
Abbi and Ilana from Broad City

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Therbs ducks in to say...

Posted October 9, 2014
Rachel Griffiths and Rebel Wilson would go well.

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Melissa swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 9, 2014
Melissa McCarthy, Sandra Bullock, Mayim Bialik and Yvette Nicole Brown were the initial picks here at Melquarters. Also quite like Mr Murray's suggestion of Linda Cardellini. We also liked Rashida Jones as a straight man to the funny ladies.

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Darth Greybeard puts forth...

Posted October 9, 2014
Peta (Peter) Venkman - Tina Fey
Rae (Raymond) Stantz - Aparna Nancherla
Emma (Egon) Spengler - Desiree Burch
Willow (Winston) Zeddmore - Melissa McCarthy
Danny (Dana) Barrett - Kit Harington
Louise (Louis) Tully - Kristen Schaal
Jake (Janine) Melnitz - Jack Gleeson

There has to be (I guess) a lust interest between Venkman and Barrett to parallel the original, with Barrett being the lustworthy one. Both Nancherla and Burch have the acting ability as well as comedic, to pull off the brilliant but nerdy persona. Poor Jack Gleeson is there because everyone wanted to punch him in the face after playing Joffrey and it might help rehabilitate him.

dweeze swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 10, 2014
There is no Daniel...
only...
Jon Snow-ZUUL

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Tim is gonna tell you...

Posted October 9, 2014
I think Isla Fisher or Gina Torres (Firefly/Serenity) would go well in this... Isla could do the Rick Moranis role. Maybe Kate Hudson if Anniston is not available

And you could get Ryan Gosling for the Janine Melnitz (the secretary) role!

Also, Therbs, I doubt they would have Rebel and McCarthy in the same movie (but on the other hand - Bridesmaids - so what do I know...)

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pi reckons...

Posted October 9, 2014
The question is... who plays the rebooted Sig Weaver character. Ryan Gosling?

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Mayhem reckons...

Posted October 9, 2014
Melissa McCarthy for sure... Been a huge fan since Gilmore Girls. For that matter Lauren Graham from GG is pretty good too. I've gone off Rebel Wilson, loved her in that improv show (can't think of the name, Tom Gleisner hosted), but haven't warmed to her as an actor. I'd LOVE to see Cal Wilson make the transition though.who's the glamazon from 3rd Rock from the Sun? Is she still around? You can probably tell I don't watch a lot of telly these days, and it's years since I went to a non animated film.

Barnesm is gonna tell you...

Posted October 10, 2014
"who's the glamazon from 3rd Rock from the Sun" -Kristen Johnston yes still around most recent outing a TV series called The Exes as Holly Franklin.

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Trevor Pyle would have you know...

Posted October 9, 2014

Melissa McCarthy: Yes.

Anna Kendrick could definitely pull off the Venkman role.

Tina Fey or Kristen Wiig for Bill Murray

So, who plays the love intrest? How about the dude who plays Bilbo Baggins? He would bring a sense of credulity, and he has a comedic background.

Summer Glau as an intern?

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w from brisbane swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 9, 2014
Bill Murray - Annabel Crabb
Dan Ackroyd - Emma Alberici
Harold Ramis - Michelle Gratton
Ernie Hudson - Lee Lin Chin
Annie Potts - Kevin Rudd
Rick Moranis - Jacqui Lambie
Sigourney Weaver - Mathias Cormann

Dick is gonna tell you...

Posted October 10, 2014
That's just sick

Halwes would have you know...

Posted October 10, 2014

You are one sick little puppy W

insomniac reckons...

Posted October 10, 2014
I assume that's the cast for the pron version.
...
Now try and get that image out of your head.

Anthony reckons...

Posted October 12, 2014
And Clive Palmer as the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. No CGI needed, just a costume...

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Nez ducks in to say...

Posted October 9, 2014
I don't think we'll see female versions of the original cast character types. They'd suffer from comparisons too much.

That said, the overall sensibility and humour would be the same, so here's some names I think would fit the bill.

Alison Brie, Emma Stone, Ellen Page, Aubrey Plaza and Karen Gillan (for international flavour, so the Scot accent needs to stay). Maybe have Alison Janney as the wise and experienced Ghostbuster leading a new generation.

Barnesm would have you know...

Posted October 10, 2014

I agree, I'd like to see them pull off something more challanging than simply recasting females in the roles previosuly played. I like the choices you propose as they are some of my favourite actors.

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Barnesm swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 9, 2014
Now who will be singing the new "I ain't afraid of no ghosts" theme song?

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schlepstar mutters...

Posted October 9, 2014
Ok using Greybeard's character list...
Peta (Peter) Venkman - Aubrey Plaza

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schlepstar swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 9, 2014
Crap and damnation, my list got chopped...

Ok using Greybeard's character list...
Peta (Peter) Venkman - Aubrey Plaza

Halwes ducks in to say...

Posted October 10, 2014

You win Anthony

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted October 10, 2014
I am really enjoying this conversation. It makes it seem as if the concept of an all female remake is an acceptable idea.

Quokka is gonna tell you...

Posted October 10, 2014
I like Khan Greybeard's list, but only if it's used for a remake of the Expendables.

Barnesm ducks in to say...

Posted October 10, 2014
I bet it would be called Expendabelles

Darth Greybeard swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 10, 2014
Thanks Barnes, a 10 point Groaner.

Anthony would have you know...

Posted October 10, 2014

or GhostBUSTers...


Halwes mutters...

Posted October 10, 2014

You win Anthony

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Murphy_of_Missouri would have you know...

Posted October 10, 2014
Just no.

Especially to McCarthy. Her presence is akin to nails upon a chalkboard at eight in the morning. I'd rather have my eyes taped open and tortured with the Hangover Trilogy before watching her utter one more word.

#FuckThat

Respects,
Murph
On the Outer Marches

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted October 10, 2014
Admit it: you don't like her because she is Irish.

Murphy reckons...

Posted October 10, 2014
Yeah . . . I got nothing.

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DarrenBloomfield would have you know...

Posted October 10, 2014
This topic now CONSUMES me.

Jessica Williams for Zeddmore
Megan Amram for Zenkman
Sigourney Weaver as the Mayor.
Still pondering the Louis(e) Tully casting.

Are the female parts going to be played by men? If so, then then who will play Dan(a) Barrett?

Agree with the Anti-McCarthy brigade.

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Halwes asserts...

Posted October 10, 2014

I'd like to have seen Natalie Wood, Ann Margret, Bridgette Bardot, Gina Lollobrigida, Raquel Welch, Maureen O'Hara, Dianna Rigg and Deanna Durbin in it. Now they are all real women! Look at some of Bardot's early movies. Also, no one oozed sexuality as much as Ms Rigg's character, Emma Peel, in the Avengers.

Barnesm ducks in to say...

Posted October 10, 2014
wouldn't that be a trifle macabre, unless you are proposing some of them will be playing Ghosts. Interesting twist on the 'ghostbusters' idea, ghosts trapping ghosts.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted October 10, 2014
Actually, that is a very cool idea: a spectral adviser. It would definitely enhance their reach.

Halwes mumbles...

Posted October 10, 2014

That kind of beauty never dies. You've got to admit, they were all real honeys. Actually Diana Rigg was in a recent Dr Who episode.

Barnesm would have you know...

Posted October 10, 2014

and she was brilliant as Lady Olenna Tyrell in gae of Thrones.

I thknk Natalie Woods might not be a suitable choice however.

Bunyip mumbles...

Posted October 10, 2014
Darn. Ninja'd by Barnes.

I'll just 2nd that vote for Diana Rigg, especially given her hilarious Lady Olenna Tyrell role.

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Spooky Peanut mumbles...

Posted October 10, 2014
Looking forward to this. Mainly because it's not going to be Michael Bay murdering the turtles.

That said, I'd prefer to not see well-established comedians in the roles, and would be apprehensive about this being yet another Fey/Poehler vehicle. Yeah, they're great, but if we're rebooting a classic 80s film, lets give some of the less known comedians a shot.

If we have to have comedians in the roles at all.

I mean, they could grab a list like http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_female_mixed_martial_artists
and see who is funny, can act, would love to be in the film.

If someone like Gina Carano can bring the funny, then having her fill a character role would bring an awesome physicality to the role. Someone who can believably chase ghosts and demons while lugging 15-odd kilos of tech, and still crack wise.

Other than that, someone like CCH Pounder could anchor the film. Young(er) US actors like Allison Scagliotti, Jane Levy, Aya Cash, Ginger Gonzaga, Malin Akerman or the UK's Karla Crome, Antonia Thomas, Natasha O'Keeffe, Fiona O'Shaughnessy could all bring something awesome to a role.

So many people!

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damian ducks in to say...

Posted October 10, 2014
I can only say I heartily endorse this project, but I'm not thinky enough today to make a meaningful contribution to casting choices.

Thought it might be handy and timely to plug this OT reference, though.

http://www.theverge.com/2014/10/8/6919179/stop-supporting-gamergate

There are several interesting articles current in a similar general orbit around the way the internet has become a place that is not very friendly to women, especially those who have something to say. I like this article because it draws the parallels with the loony right that are so obvious to some of us but are little discussed.

Barnesm has opinions thus...

Posted October 10, 2014
on the postive at least there are a lot more people, men and women pointing at these horrible guys and saying "dudes you are wrong" instead of just passing off some really extreme offensive behaviour as 'boys will be boys".

damian swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 10, 2014
Always worthwhile to point out that "boys will be boys" is a Stalin line.

Blarkon would have you know...

Posted October 10, 2014
Given that "Boys Will Be Boys" was the name of a 1921 film starring Roy Rodgers - attributing it to Stalin (who was certainly around prior to 1921, but hardly quotable) seems a bit of a stretch.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted October 10, 2014
No, it's true. Stalin is credited with shrugging and saying "boys will be boys" after learning that Sergey Kirov had been murdered by Stalin's supporters.

Stalin is also credited with being the first to say "one death is a tragedy; one million is a statistic" and asking "what would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?"










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Blarkon has opinions thus...

Posted October 10, 2014
Kirov died in 1934. Stalin may have said it, but if it was the title of a 1921 film, it was likely in broad use before then.

damian mumbles...

Posted October 10, 2014
I didn't say Stalin originated the line, just that he used it and it is associated with him. I thought it was specifically, directly associated with Stalin explaining that he was okay about the Red Army raping its way across eastern and central Europe, from Odessa to Budapest, from Vienna to Krakow, from Vilnius to Berlin and all in between.

Blarkon mutters...

Posted October 10, 2014
Are you quoting Djilas's "Conversations with Stalin" or another source? (a quick search doesn't show me where the original quote comes from or if it is a mis-attribution).

The closest I found is a reference in "Against Our Will: Men, Woman, and Rape" by Susan Brownmiller - where the author says that Djilas's "not altogether trustworthy" book has Stalin excusing rape with the words "Can't he understand it if a soldier who has crossed thousands of kilometers through blood and fire and death has fun with a woman or takes some trifle".

damian mutters...

Posted October 10, 2014
That sounds familiar, and I could be entirely mistaken about the attribution. It's a spirit rather than letter of the phrase thing anyway. Certainly this was Stalin's expressed sentiment. Not sure I really care what the words were, though obviously I saw that as a suitable place to hang the reference to Stalin.

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Blarkon mumbles...

Posted October 10, 2014
Social Justice Ghostbusters. Not doing it because you've got a good story, but perhaps because it meets a diversity objective. Not that Ghostbusters was a great character piece, but when you're starting with "lets make them girls" rather than "we've written these great characters" or "we've written this great story" ...

It's like the Star Trek comic where Kirk/Spock/McCoy were all women. That's fine for the first episode - but you're ultimately *defining* these characters against the original versions - rather than doing what was done in BattleStar Galactica where the only similarity between Starbucks was the fondness for cigars. Pretty sure Ron Moore didn't start out with the concept of a gender swapped character, but instead it evolved organically from what he wanted to do with the script.

(It's also interesting with these "lets make Character X a woman" that it rarely goes the other way. Where are the "lets make Buffy a man" people (because you'd have to acknowledge that the Buffy concept works precisely *because* of sex/gender) which would mean accepting that perhaps some male characters work for the same reason))

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted October 10, 2014
You forgot to add the #gamergate tag.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted October 10, 2014
Blarkon, it already happened. The role of Zuul was written for a man (in a suit and tie as depicted in the original story boards) but Reitman changed it to a woman's role. A hot woman. Very '80's. http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/4984127/images/1245872820553.gif

Murphy reckons...

Posted October 10, 2014
The two Starbucks were also sex fiends, excellent pilots and smartasses to frackin' boot. They both played cards.

I gotta be honest though. Dirk's Starbuck generally talked his way out of trouble if he could. The other Starbuck usually preferred to beat the shit out of her problems.

Respects,
Murph
On the Outer Marches

damian swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 10, 2014
Both valid approaches, Shirley?

Barnesm swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 10, 2014

Consider myself more a social justice magic-user myself.

I don't see "Not doing it because you've got a good story, but perhaps because it meets a diversity objective" I mean when they wrote the first script for Ghostbusters it didn't result in an issue because they chose four guys for the team, the story still ended up being funny and enjoyable and lasting as a cultural artefact.

Paul Feig himslef mentioned this in response to accusations that having cast women was gimmick "When people accuse it of being a gimmick I go, why is a movie starring women considered a gimmick and a movie starring men is just a normal movie?"

Blarkon ducks in to say...

Posted October 10, 2014
Because that's what he's got. He doesn't have the story. He doesn't have the characters. He's got the gimmick based off an off-hand Bill Murray comment.




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HAVOCK21 asserts...

Posted October 10, 2014
Its not that bloody harsd..

Emma Blunt ( HAWT)
Kate Beconsale ( Srsly HAWT)
Cameron Diaz. HOTTY HOTTIE and FUNNY!
Blake Lively ( ex green lantern) and must be a brunett

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ShaneAlpha would have you know...

Posted October 10, 2014
I refuse to see it. ( unless there is a totally gratuitous shower scene, when they soap each other, and...)

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ShaneAlpha asserts...

Posted October 10, 2014
because nothing says 80's to me like a good gratuitous shower scene. (I'm looking at you 16 Candles, Police Academy and Fast Times at Ridgemont High)

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted October 10, 2014
When is a shower scene not gratuitous? I cannot think of any shower scene that built character, developed plot or moved the story forward.

Darth Greybeard puts forth...

Posted October 10, 2014
Look Anthony, I know we've all had that suspicion about Paul at some time but we're usually too polite to just put it out there like that.

ShaneAlpha ducks in to say...

Posted October 10, 2014
Tango and Cash?

Anthony mumbles...

Posted October 10, 2014
Psycho?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted October 11, 2014
Of course not. Despite being one of the best pieces of film making ever, the Psycho shower scene was utterly gratuitous.

BigWillieStyle mutters...

Posted October 11, 2014
Shower scenes? Porky's. Phwoarr!

BigWillieStyle would have you know...

Posted October 11, 2014
@PNB - Ed Norton getting raped in the shower by that muscular fellow in American History X was one of the uglier scenes I've, um, seen. Marked the beginning of his character's transformation.

Barnesm mutters...

Posted October 11, 2014
BWS is correct given what sort of Movie Porkies was one could argue that its shower scene was not gratuitous, but integral.

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JBtoo would have you know...

Posted October 10, 2014
Emily Blunt
Jen Kirkman
Brittany Snow
Felicity Ward

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HAVOCK21 swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 10, 2014
BITCHES!..its BOUNCING along a fkn beach FFSAKES....10!!!!!!!!! ryp0e set up. thats if enough of use is fkn old enough to remember ffsajkes!

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HAVOCK21 asserts...

Posted October 10, 2014
And I have tooo say. Emily Blunt is the fkn new fkn hottie!...oh yeah baby! aqnd trhe accent!...DMA...FKN dam.

DBLISH FKN DAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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HAVOCK21 is gonna tell you...

Posted October 10, 2014
And whats her name from Casion Royale.

FKN HELL FK FK FK AND SERSLY FKN DBL FKN YES!

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HAVOCK21 asserts...

Posted October 10, 2014
Ahh! YES EVA GREEN.

O>>>>M>>>>>FKN><>>>>>GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted October 11, 2014
I finally agree. Eva Green has to be a Ghostbuster. I think she is hilarious.

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JG has opinions thus...

Posted October 10, 2014
I nominate:
  • Lucy Liu
  • Sofia Vergara
  • Natalie Portman
Good, sexy, badass actors.

JG



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BigWillieStyle reckons...

Posted October 11, 2014
What would the scriptwriters do with the "Yes, it's true. This man has no dick" line? "Yes, it's true. This woman has no vagina" just doesn't have the same gravitas.

And that pouty bird from the Twilight fillums (Kirsten Stewart??) needs to play the Venkman role.

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ShaneAlpha is gonna tell you...

Posted October 11, 2014
This could be the start of something huge, remaking old comedies with all lady casts.
One's that could work, and are in no way a completely stupid idea at all, in no particular order.<sarcasm mode off>

Back to the Future
Weird Science
Stripes
Spinal Tap
Big
Revenge of the Nerds
Crocodile Dundee
Any Which Way But Loose (I've got to admit I can see Katee Sackhoff in this one)

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Shifty Tourist asserts...

Posted October 13, 2014

Hmmm, I don't so much have a list, rather a set of rules that I feel they should follow in casting.

Firstly all the lasses need to have comedy and/or acting chops as the primary criteria. I say this because too often Hollywood goes for the young pretty IT starlets, who may have chops of course, but are chosen firstly for their looks, then shoehorned into a role the are not suited for.

Second, Chemistry between the cast is absolutely vital (I suppose it always is) but again, focus should be on the chemistry between the cast, rather than shoehorning the current hottest property into the role if this defeats the chemistry. (I can't guarentee the word shoehorn will not be used again).

Third, special effects should serve the plot, not be a pretty, twenty minute break from the plot (yes, I am looking at you Mr Jackson). A twenty minute special effects extravaganza, stops impressing if it doesn't advance the plot after about the 3rd minute.

Avoid making the characters too awesome. The orginal three were not the finest specimans mankind has ever created... they were a shonk (venkman), and two nerds. Too often, when casting women in action roles they go way too far in making them indestructable action warriors. They are former seals, who have climbed everest, wrote the book on criminology, have a PHD in everything, have mastered every kind or martial arts invented (and invented their own) while driving race cars in their spare time. That's fine of course if the ladies are meant to be Charlies Angels... but the ghostbusters.... these people arn't ubermensch (or the femme equiv. .. uh Uberfemmsch) they are the other guys (girls).
Finally, don't just reproduce the three main characters.... don't just create femme equivs. of Venkman, Stanz and Spengler.... those characters are unique productions of the geniuses behind them.... let the personality and comic genius of the female stars rock. For example, Tina Fey, trying to do a bill Murry Venkman I don't think would work.... Letting Tina Fey own a character of her own creation would be awesome.

Darth Greybeard mumbles...

Posted October 13, 2014
Good rules. Someone should make a movie with them.

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Guru Bob reckons...

Posted October 22, 2014
Lena Durham...

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Respond to 'Ghostbusters: the total lady reboot'

A golden era of time travelling Aussie SF?

Posted October 2, 2014 into Movies by John Birmingham

Something weird is happening to Australian cinema. It's starting to make films you might actually want to see. iO9 has a brief story this week about the teaser for a 'confusing and awesome' looking effort called Terminus.

Meanwhile, these two indie productions caught my eye for a couple of reasons. They're both time travel films, both locally made, but one is very Australian, and the other (apart from an appearance by Noah Taylor) looks like mid budget independent US sci fi. (Like Terminus, but also Daybreakers). The Predestination producers are doing what I do – what a lot of Australian writers do, actually – and just writing for the international, rather than the local, market.

The Infinite Man, meanwhile, looks a lot thinkier, and very parochial, but not in a bad way. It's more of a time loop than a time travel story.

I'll catch them both, when I can.

19 Responses to ‘A golden era of time travelling Aussie SF?’

ShaneAlpha is gonna tell you...

Posted October 2, 2014
You'll need to hurry if you want to see Predestination in Brisbane JB, it's gone from 2 cinemas to 1 (Blue Room Cinebar at Bardon) and only one session per day.

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WarDog puts forth...

Posted October 2, 2014
Thanks ShaneAlpha. Who's up for Predestination Saturday or Sunday 4:20pm at Cinebar?

Anyone got a line on where "The Infinite Man" is/will be showing in Brisbane?

Terminus looks good too, but it's not out till next year.

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Blarkon mutters...

Posted October 2, 2014
's not really FKN art unless someone shunts a whole carrier battle group through a worm hole which ends up kicking Hitler's arse.

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted October 2, 2014
Point.

NBlob mumbles...

Posted October 2, 2014
In A year of living dangerously the Billy Kwan says "Pornography is in focus, art out."

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Macca is gonna tell you...

Posted October 2, 2014
Predestination is superb but dont be tempted to google anything about the story its based on "all you zombies"as it'll spoil many of the films surprises

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damian asserts...

Posted October 2, 2014
Aussie time-travel SF started with Riddle of the Trumpalar. When that book came out in 1981, I was 11 and lived about 150 metres from its Trumper Park setting. Which in retrospect is a pretty privileged position, and I suppose I have no excuse not to be a famous SF author by now. Well bugger.

Darth Greybeard mutters...

Posted October 3, 2014
Tempted to insert a Nelson Muntz "Ha Ha" at this point. But no . . .

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Barnesm mumbles...

Posted October 2, 2014
And where does Tom Burlingson in aussie scifi The Time Guardian sit in this collection?

Barnesm puts forth...

Posted October 2, 2014
and in case anyone has forgotten this film here is the plot from Wikipedia

In the year 4039, a city of survivors from the Neutron Wars travels through time and space escaping the Jen-Diki, a race of cyborgs intent on wiping out humanity. Two soldiers from the city, Ballard and Petra, are transported to the South Australian outback in 1988 to prepare a landing site for the city. Petra is wounded and Ballard seeks help from geologist Annie Lassite. An advance party of Jen-Diki arrive in Australia.

<font color="#252525" face="sans-serif">another literary gem</font>

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she_jedi mutters...

Posted October 2, 2014
Predestination blew my mind, it was superb storytelling. It's from the team that did Daybreakers, who are well and truly kicking arse and taking names for Australian cinema. Go see it if you can and please come back and tell us what you thought :)

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted October 3, 2014
Few things (other than exotic sex acts, new ways to use tofu, and lots and lots of sudden disposable cash) are more exciting than well made indigenous cinema with a distinct cultural viewpoint. The apparently strong possibilities that this is happening in Oz is wonderful - especially if the push is into science fiction.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. The trailers referenced above - especially Terminus - demonstrates a magnificent talent at making trailers. They are called "teasers" for a reason. Far too often, teasers advertise films that don't exist and build excitement that ultimately is not satisfied - leading to binge drinking and domestic disputes among those who hoped for more.

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WarDog mumbles...

Posted October 3, 2014
Don't forget the very fun Aussie time travel film As Time Goes By http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094680/ with Max Gillies as the alien "Joe Bogart". 1988 so after

Barnesm swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 3, 2014

really good fun film, "you were all eating shushi, and you didn't like it".

Must get it out for the_weapon to watch combine it with The Time Guardian and make it a double bill.

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ShaneAlpha reckons...

Posted October 3, 2014
And let's not forget the small screen.
"The Girl from Tomorrow" is fondly remembered by Oz school kids of a certain age.

Barnesm asserts...

Posted October 3, 2014
and also include the Australia TV series Andra from 1976

Surtac mutters...

Posted October 3, 2014


Anybody else remember Wandjina?

Barnesm would have you know...

Posted October 3, 2014
Nope

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Murphy is gonna tell you...

Posted October 3, 2014
The second video reminded me of my year in Korea assigned to a Signal Battalion, in all the worst possible ways.

Thank God I transferred to the Infantry.

Respects,
Murph
On the Outer Marches

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HULK SMASH FILM CRITIQUES

Posted September 27, 2014 into Movies by John Birmingham

I've been meaning to (1) write something about Guardians of the Galaxy, which we took the kids to and very much enjoyed a few weeks back, and (2) point y'all towards my favorite film critic ever.

THE FKN HULK.

But I can probbably do both just by pointing at the green giant's breakdown of Guardians.

It helps if you read it in SHOUTY HULK VOICE.

SO. YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED BUT AUDIENCES ARE KIND OF GOING NUTS OVER GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY .

FOR GOOD REASON, TOO. HULK FOUND IT TO BE A REALLY FUNNY, ENTERTAINING MOVIE THAT PROVIDES US WITH A BEVY OF NOT-TECHNICALLY-NEW-BUT-FEEL-NEW CHARACTERS THAT ARE PRETTY DAMN LOVEABLE. AND WHILE SUCH BLATANT ATTEMPTS AT CHARM TEND TO FALL FLAT IN OTHER FILMS, THAT WHOLE "REALLY FUNNY" THING IS WHAT REALLY ELEVATES THIS ONE. THE HUMOR REALLY STICKS, DOESN'T IT? FOR THE LAST WEEK HULK'S SEEN PEOPLE RECITING ALL THEIR FAVORITE QUOTES OVER AND OVER AGAIN (PERHAPS HELPED OUT BY THE FACT THAT THERE ARE SO MANY QUOTABLE LINES). HECK, IT'S ALREADY THE TUMBLR MOVIE OF THE YEAR... STILL, AS WITH ANY FILM, THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE WHO ARE LEFT SCRATCHING THEIR HEADS AS TO WHY GUARDIANS HAS HAD SUCH IMMEDIATE RESONANCE, LARGELY BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOTICED A NUMBER OF AREAS WHERE THE FILM IS PERCEPTIBLY LACKING, WHETHER IT BE SOME OF THE CONVOLUTED PLOTTING, THE ON-THE-NOSE EXPLANATIONS OF MOTIVATION, A FEW DRAMATIC BEATS FEELING THIN, OR EVEN THE SAMEY-FEELING MCGUFFINISM IT HAS TO OTHER MARVEL MOVIES. THESE ARE INDEED VALID OBSERVATIONS, BUT WHAT HULK WOULD LIKE TO SUGGEST IS THAT THEY ARE ALSO UTTER PROOF OF HOW LITTLE THOSE ASPECTS CAN (SOMETIMES) MATTER TO THE OVERALL QUALITY AND AFFECTATION OF A GIVEN FILM.

Also, his stomping of the latest Transformers movie is a thing of brutal beauty.

But, yeah, Guardians, I really liked it. And now the kids are playing 70s funk on a never ending loop.

13 Responses to ‘HULK SMASH FILM CRITIQUES’

HAVOCK21 puts forth...

Posted September 27, 2014
ROCKET is the FKN BOMB. As soon as I seen the trailer I WENT ....FK YEAH! and the retro soundtrack kicks fkn arse!

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted September 27, 2014
Whoa! Is that you MR HULK?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted September 27, 2014
If they are one and the same, it would certainly explain a lot.

Barnesm would have you know...

Posted September 27, 2014
I am no longer able to read Havock without picturing the comments coming from a small anthropomorphic raccoon.

Darth Greybeard reckons...

Posted September 27, 2014
What took you so long?

HAVOCK21 is gonna tell you...

Posted September 27, 2014
BARNSM....THATS FKN ARMED!...YEAH BABY!

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted September 27, 2014
Loved GOTG.

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Barnesm has opinions thus...

Posted September 27, 2014
It was interesting that that soundtrack was the envy of little idie producers anywhere because to get those songs for the soundtrack would have cost the producers a bomb.

I've been a fan of Hulk's reviews for a while. Regarding GOTG I just want to say DRAX the Destroyer ROCKS and We ARE GROOT!!!!

Now I just need to go back to listening to 'Hooked on a feeling'

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TheWah asserts...

Posted September 27, 2014
I have seen it three times.

First Time - Well, it was the thing to see, yasee?
Second Time - I was so surprised how much I liked it I went back to see if it stood up to a second scrutiny. It did
Third Time - Many weeks later, because I wanted to watch something that would make me happy.

GotG is a sci-fi action comedy with heart and it's great.

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TheWah has opinions thus...

Posted September 27, 2014
One weird point - The OBSCENE GESTURE ALERT gag seen in the above picture does not make it into the movie. You actually see StarLord's obscene gesture. This is sad as the OBSCENE GESTURE ALERT is funnier than the actual obscene gesture. One of the rare times when the censored version of a gag is better than the uncensored.

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AuntyLou puts forth...

Posted September 27, 2014
Took my sad little self to the motion pictures while my automobile was repaired & decided to see this Galaxy thingy. Nearly burst my girdle! What a lovely way to spend some time in the dark!! Now need to convince my significant other that "crazy people in space with 70's soundtrack" is entirely worth the time/dosh. Absolutely must see multiple times...

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S.M. Stirling asserts...

Posted September 28, 2014
Agreed, it's a masterpiece.

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DNABeast mumbles...

Posted September 29, 2014
I hate reading in all caps. I read the whole thing and my brain didn't grab any of it. It was like I need the jagged ascenders and descenders for it to get trapped long enough to grok.

When it's all in caps it's just big blocks falling through a square hole.

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