Cheeseburger Gothic

Splodey Tom

Posted December 12, 2013 into Movies by John Birmingham

This looks cool.

12 Responses to ‘Splodey Tom’

Murphy reckons...

Posted December 12, 2013

And we're getting another Jack Reacher.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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w from brisbane has opinions thus...

Posted December 12, 2013

This movie is the 'Groundhog Day' for those that favour high-tech kill fests.

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Rob ducks in to say...

Posted December 12, 2013

who's the old crusty dude in it? :P

BigWillieStyle mutters...

Posted December 13, 2013

Amen. He looks way leathery.

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WarDog mutters...

Posted December 12, 2013

First film I've wanted to see in a while. Ground Hog day meets Open your Eyes.

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Dino not to be confused with swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 12, 2013

OMFG-

http://www.smh.com.au/world/scientology-officially-recognised-as-religion-20131212-hv5dj.html

Now I can finally marry TOM!

Legally!

Oh praise the Lord, or Lords in this case(Privy Council and all)

I liked Emily in 'Young Victoria' but she seems a little uptight in the flesh.

Oh and 'Looper' with Bruce.

Actually I think I will marry Bruce.

That is a fkn great movie.

Dino not to be confused with reckons...

Posted December 12, 2013

Now my wife says I can't marry Bruce.

"There is no God"

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tqft asserts...

Posted December 12, 2013

Power suits & explosions means I can overlook Tom.

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Vir Montis mutters...

Posted December 13, 2013

Looks pretty good, based off of a really enjoyable Japanese book (All You Need Is Kill) so here's hoping they don't bugger it up

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Barnesm would have you know...

Posted December 13, 2013

I think Luke Plunkett over at Kotaku Australia made this observation

"It’s not actually based on a game, I know. But the face masks, the armour, the aliens, the dropships… this is the visual language of the last decade of video games, turned into a Tom Cruise movie."

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Darth Greybeard ducks in to say...

Posted December 13, 2013

Being an aged Hipster, I didn't like Tom Cruise before it was cool. Meh.

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Guru Bob would have you know...

Posted December 15, 2013

Outstanding....

actually Oblivion was pretty good too...

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Star Wars Bohemian Rhapsody

Posted December 7, 2013 into Movies by John Birmingham

Mad props for the Wayne's Worlds reference.

5 Responses to ‘Star Wars Bohemian Rhapsody’

Blarkon is gonna tell you...

Posted December 7, 2013

Girls in bikinis wearing Vader helmets always strikes me as a little *too* dark side for my taste.

Dino not to be confused with mutters...

Posted December 7, 2013

It did stand out didn't it?

My first thoughts were a hired 'body'.

Did it detract from the song?

What can I say?

Biology?

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MickH puts forth...

Posted December 9, 2013

Awsome

Didn't get the Shogan warrior reference though

The Waynes World nod was very subtle. Loved it

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Dark Matter Zine is gonna tell you...

Posted December 9, 2013

That is awesome, thanks for the heads up. I now have an interview with a Professor Paul DeNigris to talk about their epic geek program. :-)

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Star Wars Downunder

Posted November 20, 2013 into Movies by John Birmingham

Strewth, it's finally here.

Continuing this week's unscheduled Star Wars festival here at the Burger.

14 Responses to ‘Star Wars Downunder’

Spanner reckons...

Posted November 20, 2013

This is the greatest thing ever to have been thinged in the history of all things.

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w from brisbane is gonna tell you...

Posted November 20, 2013

It makes me feel bloody proud to be Australian.

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Spanner swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 20, 2013

I like the paint job on the ute speeder. It the same as an MFP pursuit car from the first Max Max.

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Mothy swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 20, 2013

Now go and play the Star Wars: X-Wing Miniatures game and your week of geek indulgence shall be complete.

And your wallet empty. Just, you know, FYI.

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FormerlyKnownAsSimon reckons...

Posted November 20, 2013

I'm a bit disappointed they didn't exhume Bill Hunter for this. Although the rebel leader with the beard is a close substitute.

Lulu mumbles...

Posted November 20, 2013

I could see Bill's ghost as the spirit of Obi-Wan.

Quite a change from Alec Guiness, though.

BigWillieStyle mutters...

Posted November 21, 2013

"Quite a change from Alec Guiness though"

Oh, yeah. "What the flamin' heck are ya playin' at, Skywalker? I thought I told ya to use the flamin' Force, ya fucken' drongo!!"

FormerlyKnownAsSimon mumbles...

Posted November 21, 2013

That is exactly what a mate said "needs more swearing"

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pitpat swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 20, 2013

Beauty bottler bonza my boys will love this. Thanks Mayte

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yankeedog swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 20, 2013

Oh, Disney. Never mind about Episode VII. Aussies got 'er done for you.

Even has English subtitles to help translate!

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Dino not to be confused with reckons...

Posted November 20, 2013

I am going to go to Apple.

Working on Microsift and Bill wants to replace the fkr who can't make my computrer work.

What is linux?

Dino not to be confused with has opinions thus...

Posted November 20, 2013

So if my computer don't work I can strip a Police person from their Blue outfit and make them wear a iridescent pink Gstring?

That's the law ain't it?

I hope no Police Person parties near me.

I am a wowser.

And am true to my word.

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w from brisbane would have you know...

Posted November 20, 2013

On the topic of interesting new videos, Bob Dylan has put out an interactive video for 'Like A Rolling Stone'.

You can change the channel. Fun.

I think, Drew Carey, host of 'Price is Right' is my favourite so far.

http://www.bobdylan.com/us/home

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Cintamani asserts...

Posted November 22, 2013

One of your 10000, Darthsiditious, work on this :)

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Watching Star Wars the wrong way, have you been

Posted November 19, 2013 into Movies by John Birmingham

Like most families we have all the Star Wars vids on DVD and they get a regular thrashing over the school holidays. It's been years since i've bothered to sit down and watch them with the kids (which means Thomas, really) but I'm thinking that when I get off deadline (Ha!) I might give them another go. A marathon, indeed, but in the order suggested by Nicholas Carlson in this article at Business Insider:

There is only one proper way to watch the series, and it’s not from Episode 1 to Episode 6. There are lots of story arcs in the Star Wars saga that matter. The one that matters most, and every movie touches on, is the rise, fall, and redemption of Anakin Skywalker, also known as Darth Vader, also known as Luke’s dad.

Because of that, the best order to watch the movies is the original Star Wars, then Empire Strikes Back, then the second prequel, then the third, and then final movie in the original trilogy, Return of The Jedi.

Watched that way, you get a story that introduces a hero and a terrible all-powerful monster, reveals that the monster is the hero’s father, goes back in time to show how the father became a monster, and ends with the monster redeeming himself.

It’s a deeply resonant narrative framework — full of allusions to eras gone by and foreshadowing of drama to come.

23 Responses to ‘Watching Star Wars the wrong way, have you been’

Spanner has opinions thus...

Posted November 19, 2013

So you skip Episode 1 entirely? Meh I'm ok with that.

Lulu ducks in to say...

Posted November 20, 2013

Episode 1 was the film which stopped me watching the rest of the series.

Bondiboy66 has opinions thus...

Posted November 20, 2013

Me too. I went to the midnight screening when it came out...I left the theatre feeling somewhat unclean, vioated if you will. In later years my kids loved that show!

Bondiboy66 puts forth...

Posted November 20, 2013

Although they realised Jar Jar Binks was shite from a very early age.

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w from brisbane swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 19, 2013

I don't think Ep. 1 was a very good movie.
But I think, as the years go by, with the more considered perspective of history,
Jar Jar Binks will be given his rightful place as one of the most delightful and heroic characters within the Star Wars universe.

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Bangar reckons...

Posted November 19, 2013

Star Wars Down Under, just saying.

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Rob asserts...

Posted November 19, 2013

star wars prequels.... um just no. No alright. No. Nooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Rob puts forth...

Posted November 19, 2013

http://redlettermedia.com/plinkett/star-wars/ I recomend sitting down with your son and watching theses movies. You will need the same ammount of time as watchingthe real thing. My kids and I watched them. I also made them watch Fight Club with me when they hit 13. I'm sure that says something.

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pi mumbles...

Posted November 19, 2013

It's called the machete order, and it is the only way to watch it. It is the way I introduced my little boy to it, and you know what his favourite movie is? Revenge of the Sith.

http://www.nomachetejuggling.com/2011/11/11/the-star-wars-saga-suggested-viewing-order/

I love the character Darth Maul, but really, it was the only thing that was really worth keeping from that movie. It was amazing after watching it in this order how complete a series it became.

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pi reckons...

Posted November 19, 2013

Straight to the synopsis...

http://www.nomachetejuggling.com/2011/11/11/the-star-wars-saga-suggested-viewing-order/#toc-introducing-machete-order

It really changes the story, and makes it... dare i say it... great.

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Barnesm reckons...

Posted November 19, 2013

I am looking forward to trying this in the holidays, but the question is which version do you use? The one with the extra scenes, Jabba The Hut at the Mos Eisley that Han Steps on, where he shoots Guido first?

In Return of the Jedi, in the scene in which Darth Vader stops Emperor Palpatine from electrocuting Luke with Force lightning by picking up the Emperor and hurling him into the bottomless shaft of the Death Star, Vader now screams "Nooo! Noooo!!!" as he does so.

Or in A New Hope the arrival of a howling hooded figure who scares of the Tusken raiders crowded around Luke's prone form--a figure that turns out to be Ben Kenobi. For some reason, Lucas altered this howl, supposed to be Ben's simulation of a Krayt Dragon cry, to make it much more shrill and unpleasant--and startlingly less scary

Blarkon swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted November 20, 2013

The Krayt Dragon cry was something added in later through the EU and novels. Sort of like how Boba Fett is meant to have survived in the Sarlaac. Which is bullshit because the whole point was that tough guys don't always go out in a blaze of glory - sometimes they die through a silly set of circumstances.

Lulu is gonna tell you...

Posted November 20, 2013

I don't like Lucas's re-versioning: it was unnecessary & my 7-year-old self was quite happy with the original.

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Murphy mutters...

Posted November 20, 2013

"Me Jar Jar Binks and Me Ruins de whole movie!"

Frequently heard quote late 1990s.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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BigWillieStyle mumbles...

Posted November 20, 2013

This is the only way to watch Star Wars.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_n8FRILoYE

Or this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6A0rwG39Jzk

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Blarkon ducks in to say...

Posted November 20, 2013

When I introduced them to wife and son I went 4,1,2,3,5,6 - that way they got the shock of Anakin being Vader (which was much bigger than finding out that Vader was Luke's father).

Also Episode 1 will be watched in 20 years. Kids like it - and as someone who has 2 lightsabers, about 200 different star wars ships, and shelves full of Star Wars books I remember that the target audience is 9 year olds.

Lucas once said that there was a generation of people that wanted Star Wars to be like The Matrix with cool fights and cool people doing cool things and that wasn't what it was about at all. It was about entertaining kids in the same way that 1930's serials did.

A primary reason why nerds get all angsty about Jar Jar and Ewoks is that they are obvious proof that the films are aimed at kids. If you want inception, go watch inception. If you want angsty Sci-Fi, go watch FireFly. But don't pretend Star Wars is anything other than escapist entertainment where 9 year olds are the primary audience.

MickH reckons...

Posted November 25, 2013

Totally agree with you Blarkon. I have said the same thing to others many times.

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Barnesm puts forth...

Posted November 20, 2013

but surely we can all agree Han shot first!

Rob asserts...

Posted November 20, 2013

fuckin' A

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Therbs reckons...

Posted November 20, 2013

Darth Maul. Is that some kind of jedi rugby thing?

insomniac mumbles...

Posted November 20, 2013

No, it's just a typo. The Dearth Maul is what the Wobblies practice.

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MickH asserts...

Posted November 25, 2013

Having just read the blog that defines the Machete method, I can see how this would work. I'd still show Ep 1 but last as he suggests as a by line to the main story.

Wow I feel i have to go and find a Star Wars newby and try it out!

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Shifty Tourist mumbles...

Posted November 25, 2013

On a related point, there was a youtube clip of a guy discussing what Episode 1 should have done not to suck, essentially he discusses what a rewrite should do... it has some great ideas, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgICnbC2-_Y.

Essentially, it is no longer Anakins story per see, but Obi Wan's.... tracking his story from young padawan, to inexperienced Jedi, to master, his great failure (Anakin, his charge, becoming Vadar) and his redemption (his sacrifice so that Luke can become "the new hope" and fullfill his destiny.)

Not sure I agree with all his ideas, but some I think stand out;

Darth Maul doesn't die a pointless death, but remains a villain through the entire three films,

Anakin is not a child when he meets obi wan, maybe a late teen.

Bit of a love triangle, jeolousy thing between Obi Wan, Anakin and Padmae,

Yoda not appearing, but referred to (building his mystique), until the final episode.

Anyway, I thought it was an interesting appouch essentially making it not a trilogy, but a story arch that lasts four films beginning with Obi Wan meeting Anakin, and ending when Vada strikes him down.

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Man, those flying aircraft carriers turned out to be arse

Posted October 25, 2013 into Movies by John Birmingham

They always crash.

19 Responses to ‘Man, those flying aircraft carriers turned out to be arse’

Stuart would have you know...

Posted October 25, 2013

Well when ex-super carriers can be had for pennies, flying aircraft carriers might as well be disposable.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/23/uss-forrestal-sold-penny_n_4151288.html

Personally I don't think anything that isn't nuclear can really be 'super', but they didn't consult me for the classification system.

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w from brisbane is gonna tell you...

Posted October 25, 2013

The aircraft is a Helicarrier. That is, it is really just a big helicoptor.
This creates a problem of 2 competing film conventions.
(1) The hero's super cool conveyance survives, battered but indomitable.
(2) All helicoptors must die.
Clearly, that second rule is one very powerful rule.

w from brisbane mutters...

Posted October 25, 2013

* Helicopter
No excuses, bad spelling.

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Murphy has opinions thus...

Posted October 25, 2013

Much as I like them the practical side of me wonders how much just one of these damned things cost? How do you hide the logistics needed to maintain just one of them let alone three? Where do you build them at? How do you keep the people who built them to keep their mouths shut?

And what are they actually supposed to be used for?

Personally, I think a more practical and believable vessel would be one that could submerge, travel undetected underwater and emerge to launch an airstrike with VLS cells popping off any flavor of missiles in support.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

Stuart mutters...

Posted October 25, 2013

The Japanese tried that:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I-400-class_submarine

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted October 25, 2013

I could be wrong, but I believe Anton Chekhov advised screenwriters "If in the film you have in one scene a flying aircraft carrier, then in the following one, it should crash and explode."

damian is gonna tell you...

Posted October 25, 2013

Chekhov died at 44. That rings a few bells for me, since I'm 43. I quite liked Cherry Orchard, but I never read or saw Uncle Vanya. But I bet it inspired a whole lot of stuff I have...

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted October 26, 2013

I've always felt that Uncle Vanya would adapt well to the action/adventure genre. By day, an elderly professor with a glamorous, much younger second wife; by night, a vigilante crime fighter.

Maybe even a musical, tentatively titled V: Take Back the Estate.

Darth Greybeard asserts...

Posted October 27, 2013

Unlike Pavel Chekov who is "now", apparently, an Admiral. http://techmash.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/st1.jpg

Mind you, Pavel would have had a lot of fun with a Helicarrier in his ST:TOS days.

NBlob asserts...

Posted October 28, 2013

"Mild mannered professor by day..."

I can't imagine why that would appeal to you Paul.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted October 28, 2013

Oh yes - my manners are so very mild.

Guru Bob mutters...

Posted October 28, 2013

I always thought Chekov did a reasonable job piloting the Enterprise, which was similar to a flying aircraft carrier...

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JBtoo puts forth...

Posted October 25, 2013

and was that Callan Mulvey playing a baddie? Are there any actors left in Australia?

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Blarkon mutters...

Posted October 25, 2013

Worf syndrome. Show the most badass thing you've got and then show the enemy beating it to show what a threat they are.

This is why the lions almost always don't form Voltron at the start - they have to be kicked around a bit to show "yeah, this enemy is badass" before going all Voltron and fucking up robeasts.

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HAVOCK21 ducks in to say...

Posted October 25, 2013

Thats because the fkn dumb as shit gits didnt fkn listen to me..ITS FROM FKN ORBIT!...OK, not atmosphere..that way the decay rates slower...of sorts I guess and..well, lets really fkn face it. I DO IT SOOOOOOO MUCH FKN BETTERER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anthony is gonna tell you...

Posted October 28, 2013

This trumps a flying aircraft carrier!

http://gizmodo.com/japan-just-successfully-tested-its-asteroid-shattering-1451371986

(The link thingy won't let me link)

Although research be damned. We all know the real reason and those Mysterians had better back off now! We've got a proper space cannon.

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damian has opinions thus...

Posted October 29, 2013

Now that I think of it: surely the cray amount of energy required to make something like that fly would be more usefully deployed as a weapon in its own right...

Shifty Tourist is gonna tell you...

Posted October 29, 2013

I've always thought the same with the gravity generators that must exist in most sci-fi ships and how there is so much missed war potential here.

Think about it, if you have a device which can essentially simulate the mass of earth, in something the size of the Enterprise, the Millenuium Falcon, Galactica, its only matter of scaling it up to simulate the mass of, say Beatlegeuse.... now given the size of ships vary, but the simulated gravity appears to remain the same, surely this means you should be able to simulate the mass of a giant sun, and compress it into the size, of say, a grain of sand or smaller.... which means of course we're in black hole territory.

To demonstrate how this may change one of the great sci-fi stories. Cylons invade, Humans realise its hopless, general evacuation is called, some humans escape the colonies, Blackhole bombs trigger, Cylon fleet destroyed, humans resettle and they all rejoiced.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted October 29, 2013

Thanks a lot. Most science fiction space travel stuff is ruined for me now.

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Bladerunner Noir

Posted October 16, 2013 into Movies by John Birmingham

Of course Bladerunner is noir, of a sort.

But here it's the real thing.

17 Responses to ‘Bladerunner Noir’

Murphy reckons...

Posted October 16, 2013

Awesome!

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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two glass taste swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 16, 2013

Sean Young steps right out the shadows like a Chandler-esque femme fatale

I could see Harrison Ford as a Marlow in space

Oh and all the smokes. Lots of smokes.

And those square booze glasses

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yankeedog has opinions thus...

Posted October 16, 2013

Cool!

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yankeedog puts forth...

Posted October 16, 2013

It is, however, no 'Han Solo, P.I.'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEigvdbzia8

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Trowzers ducks in to say...

Posted October 16, 2013

Man, this is the kind of awesome that makes me glad we have Youtube, and kinda makes up for the horror that is the comments section.

The Burgers who are Night Vale fans might appreciate this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=061MpC5q1NM

Barnesm has opinions thus...

Posted October 16, 2013

Indeed I do

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Blarkon mutters...

Posted October 16, 2013

They are doing another one. (I love the extras on the super edition of Blade Runner - I even have the oragami bit and a model of the police car).

What freaks me out about that film is young Eddie Olmos.

Spanner has opinions thus...

Posted October 16, 2013

That's Admiral Adama "Husker" to you son.

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Brother PorkChop would have you know...

Posted October 16, 2013

Ahhhhh.... Bladerunner. Now I need to revisit. Thanks JB.

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Legless reckons...

Posted October 16, 2013

I've worked in IT all my life.

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Sun-servers on fire over the shoulder of Ryan. I watched tape-reels glitter in the dark near the Mailgate. All those backups will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time... to die."

Squig Jones asserts...

Posted October 21, 2013

When youv'e pulled helpdesk on a sunday for seriously senior fukwits because you screwed up at work again then we'll talk.

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Sparty is gonna tell you...

Posted October 16, 2013

Very Very nice.

I'm going to plug something I did for the greatest Film Noir of all time......

"Out of the Past, aka Build my Gallows High" with Robert Mitchum, Jane Greer (who Sean Young channels in Blad Runner) and Kirk Douglas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1jZaVxQz8g

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Barnesm mutters...

Posted October 16, 2013

The music at the start and the black and white made me feel I was wandering through Fallout 3.

Spanner is gonna tell you...

Posted October 16, 2013

Oh Totes except the music wasn't quite cheesey enough.

Fallout FTW

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Barks mutters...

Posted October 17, 2013

That was gorgeous.

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Squig Jones reckons...

Posted October 20, 2013

Through a scanner darkly is how I've always seen the world unfortunately.

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