Cheeseburger Gothic

The pie; a tragedy.

Posted August 29, 2013 into Food & Drink by John Birmingham

Hell of a day, today. Three thousand word deadline. School commitments. After school commitments. Unexpectedly sick kid. Like a Flinthart Day, but without the sangfroid.

Lunchtime found me hightailing it across the city to drop a sick kid off to mum so I could get to the Fathers Day school function for Kid #2 because nobody wants be that That Guy who leaves the kid standing there on his lonesome at the father-son gig.

So I dropped kid one, skipped the offer of a quick lunch because its never that quick in the city, pointed the Swedish battle wagon at the south side of the river and laid pedal to metal. There was a sausage sizzle on at the school, but I'd be turning up late – to a Father-Son sausage sizzle – and did not fancy my chances of even hoovering up some meat scraps and stray grease from the hot plate.

Four hundred dads. Free snags. You do the math.

At the back of my mind were all the unwritten words on my feature article and the sudden expiration of my security certificate for the Fairfax online publishing system one minute ( yes, one exact minute) after the SMH decided to run my blog on the front page.

And hunger. Hunger was also on my mind. Then I remembered a new place that'd opened up at the Gabba near to my destination. The Bakers Arms, a swish looking bakery which always seemed crowded. Crowded was fine. I wasn't going to sit down. I just needed to pick up a pie and get the hell out. How hard could that be? At a fucking bakery?

I secured a park right out the front and the pies were sitting there when I rolled in. As if Fate was setting herself to mock me. She's a vicious bitch, that Fate.

I ordered my pie and I must admit that even I was a little taken aback at the demand for $8.90 which followed. But this was not a sausage rolls and finger buns kind of bakery. This place had class. And $8.90 pies to prove it.

And then I settled in to wait for my pie. The Bakers Arms was pleasingly busy, but not so busy that I expected to wait more than four or five minutes. There seemed to be a fair turn over of meals heading out to the tables, and the take away line was not so long as to give rise to concern. Not until five minutes passed. Then ten. Then other take away orders began to appear before mine. Then someone dropped a hundred forks on the floor. And I was looking at my watch thinking I gotta go I gotta go I gotta go. But I waited a little longer. Fifteen minutes. A couple of salads and fucking chai soy lattes were served up. Allow me to reiterate. A couple of salads and fucking chai soy lattes! In a fucking bakery that couldn't get my goddamned pie to me without dropping a hundred forks.

Where was my fucking pie? In the outer wastes of the arse end of Absurdistan, that's where.

And then, eighteen minutes after I had first enquired as to whether I might place within my possession, and then my rumbling tummy, one very expensive pie, I saw the guy who'd dropped the hundred forks take an icy cold specimen from the chilled cabinet and line it up for microwaving. Even that didnt bother me. I just wanted my damn pie, nuked or not.

But it was lined up behind other pies, and possibly some sort of quiche, and that was it, Bakers Arms and I were done.

I turned to the woman next me, who looked like she too was in need of a pie, and I said "Madam, take mine. I can tarry no longer".

And with that I left. Pieless and $8.90 poorer.

105 Responses to ‘The pie; a tragedy. ’

Quokka ducks in to say...

Posted August 29, 2013

Next time you want a pie from Logan Road, go a little further out to the Rock n Roll bakery/deli/fruit mart. Their pies are quite acceptable as on-the-run lunch fare, esp. the steak & roast mushroom & the peri-peri chicken.

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Dino not to be confused with has opinions thus...

Posted August 29, 2013

JB

FK I hate that!

Did you need to pee as well?

Always happens to me when I need to pee as well.

FK

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beeso mutters...

Posted August 29, 2013

I had heard the bakery at rock n roll had changed hands. Not for the better either.

Quokka has opinions thus...

Posted August 29, 2013

I think you're right. The pies are still OK (A staff member told me they don't make them on site, there's a supplier) and the bread doesn't seem to have changed but don't bother with anything in the sweets cupboard, it's pretty much inedible.

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tqft mutters...

Posted August 29, 2013

I would have (and have) just asked for my money back.

Abe Frellman mumbles...

Posted August 29, 2013

Thing is, that would've burned another ten minutes.

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dessessopsid ducks in to say...

Posted August 29, 2013

18 minutes for a pie at a bakery is outrageous.

Also, what sort of self respecting bakery doesn't have a hotbox? Even the most pretentious bakey still needs a hotbox for their pies.

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted August 29, 2013

I know! Right?!?

Respond to this thread

Jackie would have you know...

Posted August 29, 2013

See you need to drive down to Rutherglen and go to Parker's Pies....they are cheaper and won best Australian Pie for like 7 years running. Ok I know it's a 13 hour drive but it's well worth it. Tell Fred I sent you for a free coffee :)

J.

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted August 29, 2013

13 hours eh? Might be quicker.

Lulu mumbles...

Posted August 30, 2013

Or a drive down to Dinkum Pies, in Block Place (Melbourne).

Dave W ducks in to say...

Posted August 30, 2013

Parker Pies is the shiznit. We go to Rutherglen for the wine and the pies. For the trip back up the Hume, it's sometimes hard to know which to allow more space for.

Therbs reckons...

Posted August 30, 2013

I can vouch for Parkers pies in Rutherglen. A great half time snack in the Therbs & Co. Wineries Tour of 27Feb13.

Guru Bob swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 3, 2013

Have also tried those Rutherglen pies and they are the bomb... Especially some of the more unusual ones like vrnison etc...

as for your experience anywhere that uses a microwave to heat up pies should be avoided anyway.

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Abe Frellman is gonna tell you...

Posted August 29, 2013

Yes Rutherglen pies >> Beechworth pies.

JB, how would you feel about someone emailing a link to this blog to said bakery so that they make it up to you by showering you with baked goods?

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted August 29, 2013

Be a slow shower.

Abe Frellman swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted August 29, 2013

Lolz.

Sekret Sekret asserts...

Posted August 29, 2013

--------------------^^^^-------------------^^^______________________________
Blip.......Bliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
p.

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JG puts forth...

Posted August 29, 2013

Definitely a bad day for you, JB. Poor chap. If I'd known you'd had a pie of a day, I wouldn't have added to your misery by sending you a Fitbit taunt. ;P

An eighteen-minute wait for a friggin' meat pie is disgraceful. I'd have had steam coming out of my ears, eyes, and nostrils.

Yatala pie shop on the Pacific Highway is great. Guess you've been there.

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C Grade Cyclist has opinions thus...

Posted August 29, 2013
Piefection at on Logan Rd at Mt Gravatt. Try the signature Jack Daniels pork belly pie. You can thank me later...

Darth Greybeard swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted August 30, 2013

Pork belly? Where are my car keys?

RAM swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted August 30, 2013

I can second Piefection. Unbelievable pies, you can tell that a lot of effort goes into each recipe. Unreal stuff.

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Mayhem's Mum ducks in to say...

Posted August 29, 2013

This, Mr Birmingham Sir, is why McDonalds has a drive-through.

Sudragon mumbles...

Posted August 29, 2013

But they don't serve food.

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NBlob mutters...

Posted August 30, 2013
This is indeed a great and terrible tragedy. I feel for you sir

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DebRyan asserts...

Posted August 30, 2013

Servo pies suddenly seem more enticing now?

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted August 30, 2013

Certainly more easily available.

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w from brisbane puts forth...

Posted August 30, 2013

"How hard could that be? At a fucking bakery?"

I have never been to this place, and I can totally understand your error, and yes, I notice the name of the establishment has 'Baker' in it.
But, it would seem to me, you need to take some blame here because:
It's not actually a fucking bakery, it's a fucking cafe.

I can see they call themselves a 'specialty bakehouse'. I don't know what that means. I assume that means, don't come here for your loaf of sliced white. It's their cafe gimmick. But one look at the set up would have shouted to me with an urgent rising panic, this is no fucking bakery!

http://www.mustdobrisbane.com/eat-drink-cafes-south-woolloongabba/bakers-arms-woolloongabba

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Brother PorkChop ducks in to say...

Posted August 30, 2013

That truly sucks donkeys ballz. Nearing criminal. Should be criminal, if only you knew a lawyer type person.

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Halwes puts forth...

Posted August 30, 2013

You will always get screwed in a designer pie shop. Let's face it. Brisbane has nothing that is much good, except Lang park and qld heads, so any thing gastronomically successful gets swamped pretty quickly. Has anyone noticed that supermarkets will let you into the place pretty quickly but getting out is another story? I've lost count of the baskets that I've left adjacent to the checkout because I've decided that I really don't need this sh!t if I have to wait an hour to get it.

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BigWillieStyle mumbles...

Posted August 30, 2013

I like chai soy lattes.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan puts forth...

Posted August 30, 2013

"Madam, take mine. I can tarry no longer".

What did she say in response?

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted August 30, 2013

"Oh, er, thanks".

w from brisbane has opinions thus...

Posted August 30, 2013

Wrath made you deaf, JB. Her full statement was:

"Oh, er, thanks, O kind and generous sir.
Curses to this tardy restauranteur.
God speed to you and your noble viking horse.
Could you tell me if the pie comes with sauce?"

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted August 30, 2013

It's not often a stranger offers you a free pie. In all my years it has only happened to me twice.

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Dave W asserts...

Posted August 30, 2013

That breakfast pie looks like an abomination of nature that must be destroyed. I failed to fully understand a breakfast pie once before, expecting something that wouldn't be congealed egg and bacon inside a pie crust.

Don't get me wrong, I was expecting a surprise- some kind of interpretation of breakfast inside a pie. I like a greasy fry-up as much as the next overweight man, just not inside a pie crust.

As for the other stuff, Zeniph, it just looks like they've instagrammed the shit out of every photo they've ever taken. I'd say that they've smashed through the hipster threshold and gone out the other side. I give them 4.5 pretentious wankers out of 5.

zeniph would have you know...

Posted August 30, 2013

agree - but I'd still eat it (though @ $8.5...)

"instagrammed the shit out of every photo they've ever taken"
I noted they have a barista/photographer on staff - thats proably enough to claim your final .5 points

Lulu ducks in to say...

Posted August 30, 2013

Does the barista/photographer have a bushranger beard?

AuntyLou reckons...

Posted August 30, 2013

Ewwwwwww...breakfast pie looks disgusting! And I don't often say that about anything containing bacon!

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Rhino is gonna tell you...

Posted August 30, 2013

There's an Aussie bakery here - suburban Atlanta - on the town square of a town named Marietta. Has other Ozish products, including Tim Tams. Pretty good food as they make everything scratch.

However, I am waiting for the owner to go ballistic and exuberantly exercise the second amendment rights of his adopted country if one more redneck asks him if he'll put a shrimp on the barbie for them.

I'm

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted August 30, 2013

Every time I encounter an Australian I tell them to put another shrimp on the barbie for me. Not one has complained or reacted with anything but good cheer - although I suspect that waitress from Perth put something inappropriate in my food. Irish Stew is difficult to scrutinize effectively.

NBlob is gonna tell you...

Posted August 30, 2013

Did we or did we not put Bugs on the BBQ for you?

Therbs mutters...

Posted August 30, 2013

Meat pies and Tim Tams in Marietta. Sounds like a civilised kinda town. As for shrimps on the barbie ya gotta marinate them first.

Brother PorkChop swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted August 30, 2013

Rhino, I know that one and have been there. My wife's best mate from here lives in Marietta and of course needs to stock up on various essentials from time to time. Thought it was alittle bizarre at the time....

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted August 30, 2013

"Did we or did we not put Bugs on the BBQ for you?"

You did. Green Bugs. And, with your reminder, I now stand ashamed of my subsequent behavior.

w from brisbane is gonna tell you...

Posted August 30, 2013

"Every time I encounter an Australian I tell them to put another shrimp on the barbie for me." Paul Nicholas Boylan

Geez mate, fair dinkum, you're comin' the raw prawn.
We like that though, since you are a good bloke.

Sekret Sekret swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted August 30, 2013

I recently had an Australian risotto dish cooked in what was later revealed to be Yabby juice....sorry "jus"

Gah.
We are surely the most disgusting nation on earth.
And nobody wants to ask what is in pies. Are there any legit ones, or do they all contain "ingredients : other"

Sekret Sekret mumbles...

Posted August 30, 2013

I recently had an Australian risotto dish cooked in what was later revealed to be Yabby juice....sorry "jus"

Gah.
We are surely the most disgusting nation on earth.
And nobody wants to ask what is in pies. Are there any legit ones, or do they all contain "ingredients : other"

w from brisbane has opinions thus...

Posted August 30, 2013

I remember about 20 years ago, British comedian Ronnie Corbett saying that the worst meal he had ever had was in Australia.
He was talking to an Australian journalist, and Ronnie was a regular and happy visitor to our country, but he was highlighting a misconcieved experimentalism in Australian restaurant cuisine at the time.
The worst meal he had ever had was a trout stuffed with strawberries.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted August 31, 2013

W - thanks, mate, for sussing that I was taking the piss.

As for Australian food, I've heard stories of how awful Australian food and wine once were, but things have changed and continue to change as you degenerate descendents of transportees realize that the difference between a good meal and a bad meal is just a little very worthwhile effort (strawberries and trout work fine together if you know what you are doing, and if you don't, it will be the worst meal of your life). I've had some of the best meals of my life when visiting Australia, including the best pub meal I've ever had (in pub in a Sydney suburb chosen at random). And as for bad food, believe me, you can find it anywhere on earth without any trouble at all. The worst meal I ever had in my life was in a farm house outside of Fresno, California. I won't describe it here. It will put you off your pie. But, over 30 years later, I still laugh out loud when I think about how absolutely horrible it all was in every way a meal could possibly be horrible.

Sekret Sekret mumbles...

Posted August 31, 2013

Yeah Boylan, we have great food. Because we are the melting pot of the world in many ways, we are nowdays hugely experimental with mash-up dishes.
Which is fine. Except the fact is, we have yabbies and other creepy looking animals and, in the name of experiment, people tend to put them in food to create a signature dish. "Wow, that's truly ugly, covered in mud and it lives in a sewer, let's try that with truffle oil and puty it in a New Breed Australian pie"
Which is a step across, rather than up , from the Four and Twenty.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted August 31, 2013

Oh hell no. That sort of experimentation is the ferment of all great cooking. How do you think those Four and Twenty got in that pie in the first place? Just because it isn't easy to make it taste good doesn't mean it can't be done and isn't worth the effort of doing. Anything can taste good if you can figure out how to cook it right. Take your critter covered in mud and living in a sewer, put it in a cage, feed it corn for a while, kill and butcher it correctly, marinade and grill the meat, and it is gonna taste just just fine.

With that said, my only complaint about the Australian cullinary experiment with what y'all learned from Greek and Italian immigrants is the antipodean penchant for cooking bolognese sauces with carrots. Don't tell me it isn't a wide-spread practice. I saw it with my own eyes on too many occasions to be coincidental.

JBtoo mutters...

Posted August 31, 2013

I so agree; carrots do not belong in bolognaise, unless it's to be fed exclusively to children for whome the veggies must be hidden.

NBlob would have you know...

Posted August 31, 2013

VALIDATION THY NAME IS BOYLAN.

Visible carrots, indeed any veg other than mushrooms & onion, is a suppurating abomination. I have been fighting this blight for years.

w from brisbane mumbles...

Posted August 31, 2013

Note to self.
When cooking bolognaise, grate the carrot so they won't notice.

Darth Greybeard ducks in to say...

Posted September 1, 2013

Curses. I'm forced to agree with NBlob again. Carrot is wrong as evidenced by the fact that when you hurl, the resulting hurlage always contains carrot, whether you've eaten it or not. That's just the kind of vegetable it is.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted September 2, 2013

Are you implying the expression "airing the diced carrots" is more than metaphor?

Lulu is gonna tell you...

Posted September 2, 2013

Carrots belong in bolognese because the sweetness is required to off-set the acidity of the tomatoes.

NBlob mumbles...

Posted September 2, 2013

Crazed borderline-vegan alert!

Crazed borderline-vegan alert!

Crazed borderline-vegan alert!

w from brisbane has opinions thus...

Posted September 2, 2013

Who knows why carrot has this special synergy with mince? Grated carrot is essential if you want your meatballs or meatloaf to be truly top drawer.
As regards bolognese, it depends what you are making. If you are making a Bologna style ragu bolognese, then sure, drop the carrot.
But if you are making the much more loved 'spaghetti bolognese', the delicious and totally non-Italian dish that gives the pleasures of a self-cooked meal to any moron, then in goes the carrot. If you are lucky enough to find some droopy sticks of celery in the back of the fridge, a rough chop and then throw them in as well.

In fact, I declare that, if you are cooking a 'spaghetti bolognese' and you don't include carrot, you are being inauthentic!

NBlob reckons...

Posted September 2, 2013

*Shakes head*

W W W, You've obviously fallen prey to one of the pro-carrot jihadis. For an consonant of such fine taste (See; Chips @ Chicken joint Mooloolaba) to reveal this weakness is disapointing.

Bolog-nese is, as the name sugests, a dish in the style of that which is served in Bologna. A traditional ragu of concentrated tomato-y goodness. Rich red full flavoured tomatoes, onion, Perhaps roatsed capsicum, garlic, basil, oregano, and frequently anchovvetta. No. Carrot.

Would you add pineapple to a Neopolitan Pizza? No.

Sausage in a Tuscan Minestrone? No.

Fish Stick in a Clabrian Insalta del Mare? Dog No.

.

If you want to talk about some bastardised, lowest-common-denominator, Tikka Masala type shmeg, I'll be outside.

w from brisbane ducks in to say...

Posted September 2, 2013

NBlob, next you will be saying that there is no place for sultanas in a curry.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted September 2, 2013

"Grated carrot is essential if you want your meatballs or meatloaf to be truly top drawer."

You have got to be taking the piss, mate.

w from brisbane would have you know...

Posted September 2, 2013

No, I am not taking the piss. Except for somewhat exaggerating my strength of feeling on the matter. Put whatever you like in, or not. And I generally prefer a less is more approach to the number of ingredients in cooking. But, mince and grated carrots is a natural.
I once attended a meat ball challenge. Or a rissole challenge, as I prefer to call it in the aussie argot. It was serious, a mate who is a butcher was on the judging panel. It was agreed the best rissole did include grated carrot, with tomato sauce (ketchup) as a secret ingredient that pushed it first across the finish line.

I was sitting here thinking, how do I justify carrot in mince. I thought to myself, who is the most famous Michelin starred chef at the moment. Heston Blumenthal. I looked up Heston Blumenthal.and mince. Sure enough there is a recipe for Blumenthal's perfect spaghetti bolognese, which I reiterate is not the traditional Bologna meat sauce. Sure enough. it includes six carrots. I wouldn't use that many myself.
http://monitormunching.wordpress.com/2012/07/25/recipe-heston-blumenthals-perfect-spaghetti-bolognese/

Sometimes, I might put no carrot in, but put in a lot of grated zucchini. It becomes invisible, but gives a quite silky texture which can be nice.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted September 3, 2013

Although I understand your position, which is principled, I firmly believe that inserting carrots in any sauce and calling it bolognese is like embellishing raw fish with chili sauce and calling it crudo. Both may be delicious, but both no longer fit those lables.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted September 3, 2013

Not to nitpick, but it seems my choice carries great semantic weight, but little else.

If you are going to counter my hollow arguments with facts and research then I will have no choice but to withdraw from this discussion indignantly. Very indignantly.

[Bob, I hates to tell ya, but the bloke is right. The earliest recipie I could find for a classic Bolognese ragù includes carrot.]

w from brisbane is gonna tell you...

Posted September 3, 2013

If I am right, no one is more surprised than me.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted September 3, 2013

Don't come the raw prawn with me, mate. You did the research.

Me, I'm looking for a traditional crudo recipie that includes chili sauce.

NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted September 3, 2013

INCONCIEVABLE

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 3, 2013

I suspect you are right: chili is very likely incompatable with crudo. But I'm not committing to any position on account of how wrong I was about Bolognese.

damian asserts...

Posted September 3, 2013

Best not to let on about the grated zucchini then... Oops!

w from brisbane mutters...

Posted September 3, 2013

I think carrot, depending on the amount you put in, does give some flavour notes, but its main purpose is probably to add a lightness to the meat sauce.

Re: coming the raw prawn. Not this time, as I, like NBob and PNB, was darned surprised that Spag Bol might be closer to a true Bologna sauce than in the conventional wisdom.

Re: the grated zucchini. Not that I want to be giving cooking advice, but as a duty of care, and as the inventor (well, I didn't copy it) of the grated zucchini in the mince pasta sauce. Yes, I use it instead of carrot sometimes. I use more zucchini than seems wise. Unlike carrot, I put it in about 10 minutes before the end of cooking time, As soon as I can't see the zucchini, I know it is ready. I use it when I feel like a more silky texture in the sauce.

Guru Bob is gonna tell you...

Posted September 3, 2013

Fair shake of the sauce bottle! I have seen a very traditional bolognaise ragu made by Ivo at an old school Italian restaurant in Cairns that included carrots. But of course wasn't made with mince either, rather chunks of meat cooked until they just melted down...

damian asserts...

Posted September 4, 2013

I think the issue here, without getting too cocksure or areseproud or breast-foot-forward or whatever kind of genetalia-pressing-ahead works for you, that all pasta sauces from Australia are essentially a variant on "primavera", with other flavours (specifically, kinds of meat) added. This is because the peerless quality of year-round fresh produce we make here is so high that there's no excuse to do anything else.

w, I think your lightness is a legitimate but orthogonal pole to the way I use carrot, which is for sweetness (another pole). The contrasting poles to these would be richness and earthiness respectively. I use bay leaves and/or turmeric to tip the balance to earthiness, and back in the day I would use Manuka honey to tip the balance back toward sweet. I suppose I would use thickened cream or at least butter to tip the balance toward richness, on the other scale.

NBlob ducks in to say...

Posted September 5, 2013

I reject your self-claimed authority to ascribe legitimacy or illegitimacy to W's leaf & twig fuelled madness.

All right-thinking* people would recognise root & tuber laced abomination as such when set before them.

As for your model of mult-ipolar gastronomy, where does unami stand smart guy? A pole of it's own or some sub-pole.

*currently defined as "Those which agree with me."

w from brisbane asserts...

Posted September 5, 2013

Without the earlier success of carrots to explain why German planes were being shot down at night, there might never have been an Operation Mincemeat.

There it is again, mince and carrots, in this case winning WW2. Don't fight it, NBlob. They just go together.

damian puts forth...

Posted September 5, 2013

Nice try, blobster, but your taste for sawdust sausages and buttery bugs betrays you.

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BigWillieStyle reckons...

Posted August 30, 2013

One thing that bothers me. How did you know it was exactly one hundred forks?

I guess you had time on your hands? You know, waiting a long time for your pie and all.

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Bondiboy66 asserts...

Posted August 30, 2013

Sounds like grounds for Justifiable Homicide with Extreme Prejudice to me.

BigWillieStyle mumbles...

Posted August 30, 2013

* nods *

Does.

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Steve would have you know...

Posted August 30, 2013

Elaine's Pies - Dickson, ACT - Best. Pies. Ever. And very quick.

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Brother PorkChop ducks in to say...

Posted August 30, 2013

Richmond TAS main street pie shop, curried scallop pie.

Bermagui NSW bakery, plain meat pie.

Homemade Rosemary Lamb Shank with mint.

Barnesm asserts...

Posted August 30, 2013

" curried scallop pie" yeah don't suggest that around Mr Flinthart. He has very strong opionions on the appropiate uses for Tasmanian scallop's and baking them in a pie isn't one fo them.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted August 31, 2013

Fuck Flinthart. I will eat me Tasmanian scallops however I desire. He isn't the boss of me.

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Brother PorkChop mumbles...

Posted August 30, 2013

JB, or anyone else for that matter - any experience with or knowledge of products called carb blockers?

Chipz would have you know...

Posted August 30, 2013

No experience with, but they sound pretty damn awful to me - http://www.webmd.com/diet/features/the-truth-about-starch-blockers

Barnesm would have you know...

Posted August 30, 2013

The money comment for me " "If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is,” MacKay writes.

Trowzers ducks in to say...

Posted August 31, 2013

The best way to block carbs is to put your hand in front of your mouth.

Brother PorkChop is gonna tell you...

Posted September 2, 2013

Thanks Chippy. I am having a gander at the link. I agree with the Brig and no doubt Trowzers is right. But I do love spuds in all their glorious forms - my biggest weakness.

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NBlob would have you know...

Posted August 30, 2013
I'm sure I've pimped this before, but; The Beach Bakery, Gympie Terrace Noosaville. After extensive research, the best sausage roll I've ever eaten. A Myocardial infarction in pastry. Beef & pork, with spices, wrapped in butter loaded croissant type pastry. Never been able to finish a second in one sitting. If left in the paper bag they are served in, the bag turns translucent in a couple of minutes.
Now promoting Seafood Chowder, Kangaroo & Port Wine, Wild Turkey, Cranberry & Brie, and Venison & Guinness pies.
I do not endorse the pies, but knowing the quality of other products they sell they'd likely be winners but the sausage roll should be a national icon. If Heart-Smart Australia doesn't tar & feather them.

Brigadier, next time you are on the Sunny Coast check out the scallops with flying fish roe & wasabi @ Riki's on the Noosa River. His Boylanness can testify as to their superior nomability.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan puts forth...

Posted August 31, 2013

I can. Really delicious. Riki's was a vivid dining experience.

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NBlob is gonna tell you...

Posted August 30, 2013
Do I have to pay extra to get my *carriage returns* to stick?

w from brisbane mutters...

Posted August 30, 2013

NBlob
Re: your carriage returns.
I have a theory and my testing below seems to have confirmed it.
Only, if my "Recent Comment" clicks on the very last message of a thread, I find that the comment box provided does not have the Bullets, (B)old, (I)talic etc options.
This means that the comment won't have the proper functionality.
I then go back and and open up the comments and scroll down to the bottom.
Then the comments box has the Bullets, (B)old, (I)talic etc options and your carriage returns will be respected.
Basically, if you don't see the Bullets, (B)old, (I)talic etc options, the carriage returns won't work.

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w from brisbane reckons...

Posted August 30, 2013

testing
Testing
testing

NBlob swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted August 30, 2013
  1. Now, when I click Respond to this comment, I have numerbed.
  • Bullet points

Bold, italic & Link

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted August 31, 2013

I can't figure out how to do any of that. Which is probably for the best.

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NBlob mutters...

Posted August 30, 2013
No Bold or italic The Quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog, four score and seven years ago our forefathers..

NBlob puts forth...

Posted August 30, 2013

Too freaky

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NBlob mumbles...

Posted August 30, 2013
Hmm. It would appear W is on to it.
No style options, No Worky the return button

AuntyLou is gonna tell you...

Posted August 30, 2013

Stop it NBlob!!! I am far to drunk to deal with this kafarfle!!!!

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Quokka mumbles...

Posted August 31, 2013

I wouldn't even go there, Nblob. As things stand my Tech Destroying Force Field has enough issues getting past the security forces DNABeast has christened 'Login' and 'submit comment'.

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Lulu would have you know...

Posted September 3, 2013
http://www.goodfood.com.au/good-food/eat-out/the-hottest-pies-in-melbourne-20130902-2szoc.html?rand=1378166763626

I think I'll print out that list, for research purposes.

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Respond to 'The pie; a tragedy. '

I drank gin by accident

Posted August 28, 2013 into Food & Drink by John Birmingham

And it was all right. This is a remarkable thing for me to write because I have always imagined I hated gin after slamming down a glass which I thought to be water on the deck of the student club at UQ about thirty years ago.

A flat, warm glass of gin undoubtedly contaminated with somebody's backwash.

I have never gone back there again. Even the smell of it was enough to lock up my throat. I made the same mistake a few weeks ago in Sydney, but a happier mistake this time. A glass of 'water' which I sipped and realised with a slight shock was not water.

But it was properly chilled Tanqueray, served on ice before dinner at Monopole, and I had but a sip, which led to another sip and eventually to another glass. A lucky thing really, because dinner was being shouted by Tanqueray as sponsors of the Eat-Drink-Design Awards; the reason I was in town.

The food was awesome and the company outstanding. You forget sometimes on Planet Parenthood how much fun you can have at a table full of strangers with whom you might share only one or two interests beyond the usual round of conversation about school and kids and driving kids to school and things kids do before and after school. My fellow diners and judges were even kind enough to organize a little birthday treat for me which I noted at the time put them streets ahead of anyone here.

The standout memory, besides the pork ribs pictured left, was the gin and tonic I drank, first unwittingly and then enthusiastically. Makes me wonder I perhaps it's time to settle my differences with my old foe tequila as well.

45 Responses to ‘I drank gin by accident’

ali swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted August 28, 2013

As long as you don't go all silly and add Southern Comfort to that list... You KNOW it only goes with Coke..

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted August 28, 2013

Ah Southern Comfort, thereby hangs a tale.

Murphy mumbles...

Posted August 28, 2013

Not much comfort to be found in that bottle.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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BigWillieStyle asserts...

Posted August 28, 2013

This reminds me of my own unfinished business with rum and bourbon. I got horribly, horribly drunk on UDL's containing same at a NYE party when I was 17. I've never experienced another hangover like it. Ever since, just the whiff of either spirit makes me gag.

But, now that I think of it, perhaps it wasn't actually the rum or bourbon, but the cheap cola that was the problem. Hmmmm. I should investigate this further. Can I apply for some sort of Federal grant for this? PM-in-waiting Abbott seems to chucking the cash around at the minute.

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted August 28, 2013

There is a Rum bar at the old Breakfast Creek Hotel that boasts 300+ varieties, including some that tip into your glass at a thousand bucks a nip. I'm sure we could find something suitable.

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sithwit mumbles...

Posted August 28, 2013

when the title of this article came up in my RSS I was expecting a drunken political rant. Aw well. maybe next time

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Barnesm swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted August 28, 2013

"I noted at the time put them streets ahead of anyone here.......

mmm revenge is a dish best served with ribs methinks.

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AuntyLou reckons...

Posted August 28, 2013

I recently drank neat gin over ice...about half a tumbler full! I have always been a little partial to a 'mother's ruin' & tonic, but was convinced by another to try some Hendricks. What a revelation! Soft, floral, with a hint of tang. Beautiful! Ok...unlike the owner of the bottle, I couldn't continue to drink glass after glass of the stuff but it was definitely worth the exercise. Will probably give it a go with the Bombay Sapphire that is languishing in the grog cupboard (unless hubby finished it & is too scared to tell me).

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted August 28, 2013

I once very much enjoyed cognac. Good cognac. Then I inadvertently drank a very large amount of really good cognc and things did not end well. I've haven't had a drop of the stuff ever since. It wasn't planned. I didn't stop drinking it as a form of penance; I just can't drink it now. And probably never will.

Lulu has opinions thus...

Posted August 28, 2013

I misread that as 'cocaine'. Which could also make sense.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted August 28, 2013

I don't do that anymore as well, but for different reasons.

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Quokka has opinions thus...

Posted August 28, 2013

When I were a lass studying in the wilds of FNQ, a gay friend introduced me to a drink which made Townsville on a Friday night seem like a ripplingly fun place to be. He called it a 'Dirty MotherFKR' and the contents required equal parts of 4 white spirits and a splash of orange juice in a 10 oz glass.

I can only remember three of the spirits so clearly the fourth caused enough brain damage to scar me forever.

The spirits that I do recall were tequila, gin and vodka & vodka is the only one I can still bear to imbibe. And that, very occasionally.

The Stokehouse down at South Bank do a rippingly good cocktail with pink grapefruit juice & some other bitter stuff which I can't recall. Might be campari, might be gin. Worth infestigating if you mob are down that way.

The chips are a miracle of culinary delight, so a bowl of chippies and a pink cocktail is a marvellous way to make an afternoon disappear.

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted August 28, 2013

You know, they do more than chips.

Quokka reckons...

Posted August 28, 2013

I know.

I took a girlfriend down there & without looking too closely at the menu (OK so we both forgot our reading glasses) we ordered the vegetarian platter to share. A tray of deep fried battered *things* arrived & we looked at it, aghast.

She said 'What is that? Is that a lobster?' & I said 'Not sure but the thing beside it looks like a Dagwood Dog.'

The waiter curled his lip and spun on his heels and left us so I'm not sure we'll be welcomed back.

It's a fabulous venue, though. Try the grease. It's good.

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted August 28, 2013

It sounds like you turned up your snouts at a tempura vegetable plate, you fucking heathens.

FormerlyKnownAsSimon ducks in to say...

Posted August 28, 2013

Was 'infestigating' on purpose? If so, i like it. If not, i still like it. Do you mind if i add this to my vocabulary? Infestigating (verb): to carry out a systematic inquiry of a venue with a large and raucous crowd or in small groups resulting in workers of said venue turning up their nose as if seeing something unpleasant (cf. cockroach)

Quokka is gonna tell you...

Posted August 28, 2013

Well, the ipad recognised Infestigate as a legitimate description for what we did so I assume this is the correct term for turning up to one of JB's favourite haunts and sneering when a battered sav comes out. Sure it may have Sanitarium stamped on it's ass but hey, the optometrist took 3D pix of my eyeball last week and said that I've got the vascular system of someone who's 20 years younger. So, M'seur, I fart in your general direction, and can only regret that its not redolent of river lard and sulphur gas.

NBlob swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted August 28, 2013

He he. Schooled, old school style.

AuntyQ 1, JB nil.

Darth Greybeard mutters...

Posted August 28, 2013

"I've got the vascular system of someone who's 20 years younger." Presumably someone who annoyed you and as a consequence now lacks a vascular system? Bins on the street again was it?

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted August 29, 2013

20 years younger in cat years.

Quokka is gonna tell you...

Posted August 29, 2013

Pfft. Lets see you go off to the optometrist for 3D pix of your eyeball, and we'll see what your Cave Man Diet is doing to your innards.

Apparently those images are an accurate predictor of the state of your cardiovascular health and risk of heart-attack.

Just think of all the little plaques your body is manufacturing on your all protein Cave Man Diet.

So, show us your eyeballs.

I am betting they are bleary.

NBlob reckons...

Posted August 29, 2013

She could compare them to the eye of newt she keeps in the pantry.

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dewpoint would have you know...

Posted August 28, 2013

Have to agree with AuntyLou on the delights of Hendricks. This is a very special gin that should never be contaminated with tonic. I love a gin and tonic but you can use any old gin with that, in just the same way you would never add the horror of coke a cola to a great whiskey, or dare I say even a southern comfort. Ideally Hendricks should be served on uncomtaminated ice with a slice of cucumber and perhaps a tiny small rosé bud but never an olive. I am certainly a fan of the dirty martini, with Tanqueney or Bombay even Gordon's but Henricks is totally ruined with an olive.

oh and happy birthday

Anthony ducks in to say...

Posted August 28, 2013

Agree about the tonic - however a slice of lime offsets it perfectly.

Plymouth Gin is the best to have with tonic.

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TC mumbles...

Posted August 28, 2013

Two of my pet drinking loves are gin and tequila (generally separate but not always). I drank cheap gin as a youngster for a dare and was convinced for far too many years that it had the taste and aroma of Pine-o-Cleen. Finally got on board and have been a fan for many, many summers

There's something about a gin and tonic over ice, sitting in the afternoon sun wondering why you don't take the time to just relax more often. But then again... maybe it's the setting moreso than the drink...

SZF puts forth...

Posted August 28, 2013

I'm with you, TC - though I'd also add good rum to my mix of pet spirits.

Tumbler full of ice, double of decent gin, dash of dry vermouth and a tiny squeeze of lime. Mind you, they're deadly as an elephant in slippers after more than a couple.

Was in Singapore last year and a more traditional variation (from the Brits perhaps?) is gin on ice, dash of lime and slice of cucumber. Also excellent.

JB, If you ever bury the hatchet with tequila and are down in Melbourne, try Touche Hombre in the CBD. A3 size tequila menu, listed by region, split by blend. Only been there once myself, being from Sydney, but the head bartender there really knows his agave (lovely American gent, ink down both arms, for some reason I can't recall his name...). Anyway, bottom line: f*ck Disnleyland, it's the happiest place on earth.

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted August 28, 2013

By odd coincidence we gave Touche Hombre a looking over for Eat-Drink-Design.

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Flinthart ducks in to say...

Posted August 28, 2013

Didn't know you avoided gin. Let me know if you want to pursue this further, by the way. Lark Distillery's Pepperberry Gin is just about the finest thing ever put into a bottle, and I will happily heave some in your direction.

Tequila, though... no. I think the range war must continue.

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted August 28, 2013

You may well have been there that fatal day at the Student Rec Club. But then I suppose the image of me throwing down someone's abandoned drink only to hurl it up immediately would not qualify as being unusual enough to remember.

Barnesm puts forth...

Posted August 28, 2013

Might I add anything I have so far sampled from Lark's Distillery has been brilliant. Their single barrel whisky is a magnificent bastard much like yourself Flinthart.

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Murphy mumbles...

Posted August 28, 2013

Scotch.

Can't have scotch at all. In fact, I've been reliably informed by the Woman I Love that if she learns that I've consumed it again, she'll leave me.

Bushmills, on the other hand, is okay.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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Rhino has opinions thus...

Posted August 28, 2013

Welcome back :::sniff:::: welcome back.

<Rhino raising a mug of Sapphire and tonic to a prodigal child>

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w from brisbane has opinions thus...

Posted August 28, 2013

I forget how nice gin is. Then circumstamces lead me to having a gin (Tanqueray or Bombay Sapphire) and tonic with a slice of lime on a summer's late afternoon and I am joltingly reminded that it is the most wonderful beverage that there can possibly be under those circumstances. A gin squash if you feel like a little more sugar.
Both are delicious, civilised and civilising. Wonderful!

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Brother PorkChop would have you know...

Posted August 28, 2013

Tequila for me was always the awful after effects of salmmers and shots of Tio Pepe. My neice however has converted me to her way of thinking and drinking with Agavero Tequila Liqueur. OMG, it's awesome!! It goes either way - sip or shot. The best way I have had it was with a wedge of blood orange, aboslutely liberally covered in cinnamon powder eaten post shot. It was like a foodie, flavour party bomb WMD going off in your gob.

I like G&Ts as well. And on a hot summers day, a fruity jug of Pimms and lemonade. And in Fiji, one would always partake in Bacardi, lime and soda.

Now I am thirsty and its only 3.15PM with a Prep Fathers Day event on this eveing. Thanks.

dewpoint reckons...

Posted August 28, 2013

BPC that tequila blood orange cinnamon is gonna be my first drink when I get off the wagon

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Sekret Sekret ducks in to say...

Posted August 28, 2013

Tequila -you sit down to drink it one one planet and stand up on another.

Gin- at my late grandfather's pub in Surry Hills in the seventies there was a ladies lounge and Gin was the drink-- every--' du jour'. Gin & tonic served in middy glasses, shandies , fags and a pianola. The pub is still there but it's more like Brand Gin served in the good crystal. Funny how it all changes. Interesting topic, the social history of spirits.
The above convo brings it all back.

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sibeen swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted August 28, 2013

A G&T is the only form of spirits I imbibe. One whilst sitting around the pool is a lovely start to an evening.

The smell of rum, whiskey, bourbon et al just make me want to hurl a little.

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Darth Greybeard swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted August 28, 2013

I don't mind a Bombay Sapphire but it sits down the back behind the scotch. Somewhere further back in the spider-haunted darkness is a bottle of VSOP cognac which I think stands for Very Standard Ordinary Plonk. But what is this I hear? My dear one calls to ask if I want a Lagavulin. Byeee.

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Shell is gonna tell you...

Posted August 28, 2013

J'adore a dry martini, shaken, not stirred.

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Guru Bob would have you know...

Posted August 29, 2013

JB For some reason the thought of you and tequila brings a smile to my face and a suppressed laugh? Must be a subconscious thing....

belated birthday wishes, but now i don't have Facebook to tell me the date I missed it. Next time you are in sunny Melbourne we can try and find a suitable mexican venue?

G&T made great sense up in the tropics!

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted August 29, 2013

I saw one Mexican restaurant in Melbourne but was afraid to go in and order anything. There is a saying that the closer to Mexico, the better the Mexican food, and the farther from Mexico the less it is worth the effort - and I had never been further from Mexico in my life than I was in Oz.

Brother PorkChop asserts...

Posted August 29, 2013

Mama Sita has a great tequila selection, and some lovely food.

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alice is gonna tell you...

Posted August 29, 2013

You might consider trying this delicious gin-based concoction some time:

Generous shot of gin

Splash of Aperol

Top it up with prosecco

And if you're going to be super fancy, a slice of fresh blood orange.

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted August 29, 2013

Whoa. You are my new favourite.

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Conspiracy Cat swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted August 29, 2013

After a particularly enjoyable cocktail party about 20 years ago, the only things left (apart from the gladwrap on the toilet bowl, the grenadine stains in the carpet, and a couple of body outlines on the kitchen floor) were 1/4 of a bottle of vermouth and an unopened bottle of gin. So I mixed them up and added an olive. Thus was my martini habit born.

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Respond to 'I drank gin by accident'

The Old Pusher

Posted August 26, 2013 into Food & Drink by John Birmingham

Spent the weekend at Byron Bay for the brewing of The Old Pusher, the craft beer a couple of us designed for Stone and Wood brewery. I'll write more about it at Blunty tomorrow for my annual beer blog but thought I'd post a few photos here.

We started at 7am on a brisk but bright Saturday morning, gathering at the brewery which is located about two klicks outside town on the way back to the freeway.

Beards are an integral part of brew mastery.

I stopped in Byron to grab a muffin and coffe at Bayleaf but needn't have bothered since Heath, who was wrangling us through the day's adventure, turned out to be master of the ancient and noble art of bacon and egg rollery.

I may have eaten more than my fair share of these.

We worked off the extra calories hauling 25kg bags of grain around and hefting them into a cusher to be pulped down into a mash. There were five different types of grain, two of them were chosen to impart the deep red colur we were looking for.

These crunchy little bastards make susprisingly decent beer snacks in their raw form.

Morning tea was provided.

I think there was a bottle of water in there too.


The 'waste' product isn't wasted. After our mash was done with it was collected in these giant plastic bins for the dining pleasure of lucky cows.

There's a fair of fermented sugar left in the soggy mash. It's called cow cocaine.

The brewing went on most of the day and required frequent meetings to consult with Brad the Master of the Brew (left). He also cooked lunch, an awesome burger known locally as the Bradburger.

"I think we need more beer".

24 Responses to ‘The Old Pusher’

Dave W swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted August 26, 2013

Sounds like you had an awful weekend and you'll have flashbacks whenever you catch the glint of light reflecting off a green glass bottle. In case it all gets too much for you, I'm happy to take 24 of those off your hands.

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Barnesm is gonna tell you...

Posted August 26, 2013

Its just beer isn't it?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted August 26, 2013

Just beer? Is a souffle "just eggs?"

Barnesm asserts...

Posted August 26, 2013

I thought so, well some air as well I believe.

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Murphy reckons...

Posted August 26, 2013

Ah, the Hard Life of an Australian Celebrity.

How ever do you handle the strain of such obligations, John?

Should you crashland in KC we'll have to take in a tour of Boulevard Brewing Company.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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Bondiboy66 mutters...

Posted August 26, 2013

Now that is a decent Man way to spend a day, doing Man stuff that involves Beer, BBQ and testosterone.

Bondiboy66 approves of this thread.

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dewpoint would have you know...

Posted August 26, 2013

I'm sure that egg an bacon rollery tasted as good as it looks, with its perfect ooze to yolk ratio

insomniac has opinions thus...

Posted August 26, 2013

and by 'perfect ooze to yolk ratio' i'm sure you mean zero, because, you know, ewww otherwise

Barnesm puts forth...

Posted August 26, 2013

another ingredient would increase the enjoyment of the sandwich because SCIENCE

dewpoint mumbles...

Posted August 26, 2013

Oh no @ insomniac oozy yolk is very yummy, if its too runny though it can cause a messy drip problem so the trick is to cook so it oozes in a thick unctuous (fancy pants food reviewer word there) manner, rather than squirting out, you know everywhere. It's true I believe that there is some sort of weird risk associated with rawness n egg n stuff, but I say live dangerously

FormerlyKnownAsSimon asserts...

Posted August 27, 2013

Followed that credible science link. Obviously when the author mentioned the pasta confusion he has never had a spag leftover toasted sandwich with extra cheese. This creation makes winter carbtabulous.

I have a mate who says anything can go on a sandwich. Including a pie. . . . . . . :)

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Therbs is gonna tell you...

Posted August 26, 2013

Fkn tops, ay.

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Abe Frellman puts forth...

Posted August 26, 2013

Still reckon I had the awesomer weekend. But I suppose I'll force myself to try your beer when it comes out,

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Flinthart has opinions thus...

Posted August 26, 2013

What do I do to bring a carton or so of this epic adventure in fermentation down to Tasmania?

John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted August 26, 2013

I shall make enquiries. A lot of it has been presold.

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Sekret Sekret is gonna tell you...

Posted August 26, 2013

(Big apologies that this is off topic but I figure if I put it in brackets it's not really here...., JB, I nuked my FB account. Got sick of all the stupid memes and shit, you know)
As you were.

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted August 26, 2013

Respect.

Abe Frellman asserts...

Posted August 26, 2013

Me too. And the twitters. Cold turkey.

JG mutters...

Posted August 29, 2013

Same, SS, JB, Abe. Off FB, finally. Relieved. Feels good. Think I'll stay on Twitter though. May as well. It's not as invasive or demanding as Facebook. No pressure. Twitter seems fairly harmless because it's never hooked me in much. Twitter's nice and light: Facebook is in your face. Glad I've escaped its honey trap. Nine more days and my FB account will be deleted for good.

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sibeen reckons...

Posted August 26, 2013

I am not fucking jealous!!

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FormerlyKnownAsSimon asserts...

Posted August 27, 2013

This post has got me motivated. I have been watching my latest brew of kolsch get smaller and smaller. I have now reached the point of no return so that an enforced dry spell will be endured whilst i wait for the next one to condition. Now i just have to decide what to make this time.

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beeso swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted August 27, 2013

Man i wish i had a supply of that waste product. Make mighty fine milk.

John Birmingham swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted August 27, 2013

Yes it would. the cows go nuts for it, I'm told. S&W are moving to a much bigger facility soon. Producing more cow cocaine in the process. Perhaps you should talk to them before they do that. For them, having someone come and take the stuff away is a cost saving.

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beeso puts forth...

Posted August 27, 2013

Byron is probably a bit far for me, but i have rung Tambourine brewery immedietaly. My biggest cost is the feed they have while they get milked. After fencing anyway.

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Respond to 'The Old Pusher'

Protein Binge

Posted August 7, 2013 into Food & Drink by John Birmingham

I was certain certain those Chinese cleaners had shrunk my favorite pairs of pants. They were perfectly comfy, snug even, when I sent them off to be cleaned. A week later, not so much.

True that week did include a good deal of eating out in Hong Kong but damn it I did a lot of walking that week too. So too when I was in Vietnam earlier this year. 25-30 000 steps a day according to my fitbit, plus some monster work outs in the hotel gym at the Metropole.

All to no avail. Pants. Got. Tighter.

Damn those baskets of delicious pastries they forced on me. Damn them all to hell.

I was going to do another 7/21 sesh after the success of my last tilt, but was put off by the relentless dreary awfulness of it. So instead I decided to try the protein thing about a week or so back. I stripped most of the carbs from my diet. A big ask because I do love my bakery treats, but even more so, having to wrangle the kids around my work schedule each day, there's few things more convenient than a big ol' hunk of bread to fill the hollow places in my tum.

And pasta, and rice. And taters. Nope, never met a carb I didn't love.

You need the fattening little fuckers too. They're an essential part of the dreaded balanced diet, as well as being yummy. But I figured I'd give myself a chance to torch the belly eel that wanted to creep back into my life so for a strictly limited period I've cut right back on the carbs and replaced them with a crap ton of lean protein.

(I've also cut back on the grog and upped my HIIT, but not radically. Been trying to get a solid 7 hours minimum in the rack every night too).

In some ways it's the natural state of being for a bloke on the fang. Lots and lots of meat. I've been necking salmon and eggs for breaky, tandoori chicken for lunch, sashimi for dinner, lots of beef jerky (thanks Geronimo Jerky!) for snacks. I'd throw the occasional piece of fruit or steamed green veggie in there, but I tried to keep most of my calories firmly in the protein column.

Been on it for ten days now and dropped just over four kilos. Partly this is down to the carbs, partly to the HIIT and sleep, partly to less calories from booze. But the thing about protein? You burn up to 30% of the energy it contains just to digest the stuff. With carbs that figure can be as low as 7%.

I'm gonna ease of in Sydney, partly because I have to eat out tonight, but also to give my system a chance to reset. As I mentioned last week, and as should be obvious anyway, this protein-paleo crap is totally unsustainable. But as a way to wake up your metabolism and torch some stubborn kilos, it can't be beat.

Best of all, for me anyway, I don't have to be bullied into eating like this.

22 Responses to ‘Protein Binge’

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted August 7, 2013

Your pants got tighter because the Chinese cleaner was negligent. Sue them. How dare they make your pants tighter??

HAVOCK21 would have you know...

Posted August 7, 2013

I'm thinking we might be able to launch a fkn class fkn action!

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted August 8, 2013

Perhaps this is the result of a conspiracy.

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Lobes has opinions thus...

Posted August 7, 2013

My understanding of these diets is they need 7-9 days to shift your metabolism into ketosis and then your body goes into real fat burning mode. Basically the longer you do it the more effective it becomes.

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted August 7, 2013

Yeah, that sounds right. ABout a week in it really accelerated.

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Lulu reckons...

Posted August 7, 2013

I'm on Day 4 of No Chocolate. The mere thought of adding No Bread/Pasta/Rice to it as well makes me twitch.

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HAVOCK21 has opinions thus...

Posted August 7, 2013

interesting.

well, bouncing about at 90kgs, I have a wee....curve in der midriff which to be HONEST is now fkn shiitting me to fkn tears. So today is day 3 of gym work, serious fkn crunches and der likes. But I do love me beer after the exercise. Which, I'll wager for some reason is not fkn helping....heaps. But the theoryt is, that I have cut mid week consumption from a probable average of three stubbies per night, to just one and EXERCISE, So I figure I should be able to redistribute the central to the outter, thats bigger all over and smaller in the wait! with weights and the rowing machine...I FKN HATE walking or running unless its cricket!

The Protein gig might be worth a wee try I thinks!

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HAVOCK21 puts forth...

Posted August 7, 2013
I might end up looking like a carrot or piece of fkn celery with flat out snakin, how much Jerky you munch through!

Bangar mutters...

Posted August 7, 2013

H I'm stuck at 95, maybe protein only will help.

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Spanner is gonna tell you...

Posted August 7, 2013

Ok so how does this work with a cholesterol problem? I could eat protein all day but I don’t think could eat only fish for a month?

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Sekret Sekret mutters...

Posted August 7, 2013


What does HIIT stand for, s'il vous plait?

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John Birmingham mutters...

Posted August 7, 2013

High intensity interval training. So rather than steady state exercise, like an hour long jog, you sprint/jog/walk in short bursts for 30 mins.

andrewmagoo reckons...

Posted August 8, 2013

Have also been told HIIT works a treat....

Most important, keep the walking up, even if you take the stairs instead of a lift or escalator, or park a little further away from where you need to be and hoof it!

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she_jedi asserts...

Posted August 8, 2013

A friend of mine went Paleo for health reasons when she discovered a gluten intolerance... holy neanderthals Batman did it do wonders for her. She's never felt better, dropped lots of weight, full of energy blah blah blah. She's in her late 40s and feels like a 30 year old. The two things she refused to give up was booze and chocolate, but she has those in moderation and is a happy camper.

Spanner, I'm in no way any kind of medical or nutritionist expoert, but I beleive Paleo's supposed to help with your cholesterol. That said please don't take my word for it, you'd be better off doing your own research as you'd know your exact circumstances. Most paleo blogs suggest trying paleo for 30 days and seeing how you feel at the end; if you don't like it you can quit then, or if it's transformed your world keep going.

According to Catalyst our paleolithic ancestors had different bacteria to us modern humans, and apparently switching to agriculture and introducing all those carbs and sugars into our diets screwed up our dental health and pretty much everything else. Got me thinking that this paleo thing might actually be on to something.

http://www.abc.net.au/catalyst/stories/3816207.htm if anyone's interested

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Abe Frellman puts forth...

Posted August 8, 2013

JB, regarding the salmon for breakfast, how are you preparing it? Smoked or steamed? And if smoked, is it the translucent cold smoked style that is served in really thin slices or the hot-smoked style? (And does it matter?)

I've been hitting the gym pretty regularly since Jan and cutting down on carbs, particularly after lunch time, and have been thinking of going down the full monty protein route for a while. So far I've dropped about 15kgs, but the rate of weight loss has slowed in recent months.

I've found that steaming fish like salmon in one of those wooden Chinese steamers goes ok, and I can drizzle some ginger, soy and shallots over it during the process for some flavour. But I can't face it for breakfast. Smoked salmon (at least the cold smoked variety) I could certainly eat for breakfast but was under the impression it wasn't terribly good for you.

I've made my own hot smoked salmon (but can't face it for breakfast). I've also made my own gravlax, but it can be messy and time consuming. And if the rest of the family doesn't like seafood then a little package of 'curing' salmon in the bottom of the Fisher Paykel tends to cause one to expend the brownie points at an unsustainable rate.

I've also found some little egg poaching packets at the supermarket called Poachies which make the process of poaching an egg much simpler.

Also, how do you manage high protein when travelling? Or if you buy your lunch at the cafeteria? Do you just ask for the steak sandwich without the bread? I think i would get tired of the sashimi after a while. Any other helpful hints appreciated!

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted August 8, 2013

I'll respond at length when I get time, Abe. (Just home from Sydney). But long story short I don't fuck around smoking anything. I take straight from the damn packet. Raw, I guess. Like my sashimi.

It is packing a fat count of 11% and there are leaner meats around.

Also, 15kgs? Props sir!

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Lulu is gonna tell you...

Posted August 8, 2013

"translucent cold smoked style that is served in really thin slices or the hot-smoked style? (And does it matter?)"

You smoke your own? Big respect. I like cold-smoked but find it quite oily, so only in small quantities. Since a visit to the Tassal Shop, I'm a big fan of the hot-smoked - smokiness & flavour with less oiliness.

Brother PorkChop mutters...

Posted August 8, 2013

I do hot smoked almost every week. It really is easy and we have a portion of hot smoked ocean trout pretty much every weekend with labne and a bottle of vino and then again on Monday made into pasta with asparagus, red onion, etc. Anyone can hot smoke pretty much anything - chicken, sausages, tomato.

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Kat ducks in to say...

Posted August 8, 2013

We did high protein, low carb for a little while with PT, but it's very frigging expensive.

With this particular diet it was 250g chicken for lunch for men, 190gm for women, 250g steak for dinner for men, 190gr for women. (and 2 cups of broccoli/cauliflower/beans as veg)

We ended up spending a shitload of dough at the butcher's every week. And with those veggies you get the farts real bad... ;)

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andrewmagoo would have you know...

Posted August 8, 2013

Don't forget to eat some fibre or at least take a supplement, or you'll be backed up the wazoo for weeks...jest sayin...

John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted August 8, 2013

Oh yeah, I'm all over that.

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Anthony reckons...

Posted August 9, 2013

Tried making Gravlax with tthe salmon JB? Easy enough to do with a nice piece of salmon some sea salt, pepper, sugar and dill and it even freezes beautifully.

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An apple a day keeps the scrunch face away

Posted July 16, 2013 into Food & Drink by John Birmingham

I'm gonna have to defer to Bangar, our resident moonshiner, on this one, but I am interigued enough to seek out his opinion regarding this Gizmodo piece on making smooth whiskey even smoother.

Long story short, your put apples in the liqour - the greener the better - and let them sit in there for at least six days. Even longer if you can hack it, 'then strain the rye through a cheesecloth. The end result is a liquor that still tastes very much like a rye, it's just much more mellow and smooth.'

The original recipe calls for crab apples, but you can use Granny Smiths (black eye to Gizmodo for not knowing they were developed in Sydney, noth South America) or even dried apple slices as above.

It seems to be a trick specifically designed for American bourbon, not Scottish whisky. I'd be keen to know if anyone from across the pond has tried it.

22 Responses to ‘An apple a day keeps the scrunch face away’

JBtoo mumbles...

Posted July 16, 2013

Can you eat the apples afterwards? 'cos that sounds yum.

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John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted July 16, 2013

I would.

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Darth Greybeard asserts...

Posted July 16, 2013

Ok, I'll put my body on the line for SCIENTS (again). As soon as we've got some dried apples and cheapish scotch - not risking a single malt. Anyway, the soaked apple sounds like a great snack. Just the thing for the kiddies lunches.

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Murphy would have you know...

Posted July 16, 2013

Umm, why am I ruining perfectly good apples and bourbon in this manner?

I mean, Bulleitt Bourbon simply doesn't need this treatment. Maybe Woodford Reserve does (ick is all I can say) but Bulleitt doesn't.

Just saying.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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Gavin mutters...

Posted July 16, 2013

Pedant alert:

Scots whisky

Darth Greybeard puts forth...

Posted July 16, 2013

Even Bigger Pedant Alert.

Scots = people (more or less)

Scotch = Uisqubaugh (or sumfing) aka the finest drink known to man

Legless has opinions thus...

Posted July 16, 2013

^he's right. I lived on the Scottish borders for 40 years

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Singo is gonna tell you...

Posted July 16, 2013

Sounds promising. I've also heard that you can run cheap vodka through a water filter a few times to smooth it out

ShaneAlpha mutters...

Posted July 16, 2013

And Metholated Spirits through a loaf of bread to give it that smooooth taste.

Shifty Tourist mutters...

Posted July 17, 2013

I think Mythbusters tried that one and busted it.... And I'd trust "scientists" of that pedigree afterall, these are the people who proved that the moonlandings were not faked... eh... I add, only for the sake of balance mind you, that as an unintentional consequence they also accidently demonstrated how you could fake the moonlanding.... eh.... science, FRAK YEAH!!!!

Shifty Tourist puts forth...

Posted July 17, 2013

I think Mythbusters tried that one and busted it.... And I'd trust "scientists" of that pedigree afterall, these are the people who proved that the moonlandings were not faked... eh... I add, only for the sake of balance mind you, that as an unintentional consequence they also accidently demonstrated how you could fake the moonlanding.... eh.... science, FUCK YEAH!!!!

Bangar is gonna tell you...

Posted July 17, 2013

Water filters contain activated carbon to remove impurities ... such as those that are in cheaper vodka. It works my improved water is carbon filtered.

ShaneAlpha puts forth...

Posted July 17, 2013

After the second drink when your sense of taste goes, the validity of the technique no longer matters. :)

Mythbusters, the Michael Bays of science.

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JG mutters...

Posted July 16, 2013

You've already had enough liquor, JB, judging from your two typos. Joke. Chill, maestro.

I always liked the scrunched-up prune-dried-apples-in-a-bottle faces sold in Tasmania. Not that I've been there for twenty plus years. Good souvenirs for Tassie to sell: apple core faces.

Anyways, enjoy your apple preserved whisky, JB. Still wish you'd get your old blog home bar masthead back.

P.S. Stoopid knee inj'y is keeping my Fitbit score down. I'll be back, although looks like my half marathon run on 4 Aug is off. Be afraid. Be very afraid. I'll be back, scrunching apple juice from my legs.

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Barnesm is gonna tell you...

Posted July 17, 2013

isn't this just called Scrumpy?

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Therbs asserts...

Posted July 17, 2013

Rye? Tried rye once and no sir didnt like it. What it needs is a fire upon which to be flung then to be replaced by a bottle of Scotch, Irish or Bourbon.

That apples thing is intriguing. Keep us posted on your scientific endeavours Mr Greybeard.

One way to bring cheap gin up to drinkable level is to put it in a glass container with sliced up lime and lemon, seal it and leave in the fridge overnight. Next day, pour over ice and add a decent tonic.

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Conspiracy Cat would have you know...

Posted July 17, 2013

My Father In Law puts cumquats in cheap whiskey. He says it takes the sharp edge off the whiskey, and gives it a slightly fruity flavour. But he leaves them in the bottle for at least three months.

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Dick swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted July 17, 2013

My Mum did that years ago. Left them in a big coffee jar sealed for about three months. The cumquats were really nice with ice-cream. I was only about 10, so probably shouldn't have been eating them.

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Trowzers ducks in to say...

Posted July 17, 2013

My Godmother used to give out dangerous jars of cumquats at Christmas. They usually lurked at the back of the fridge until the cold weather came, and some fool would break the seal to have a few over ice-cream at a dinner party or get together, leading to lots of red-faced giggling adults around the fireplace while us kids were in the next room playing with Lego and whinging about getting our ice-cream plain.

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Darth Greybeard asserts...

Posted July 17, 2013

The Effect of Apple on Cheap Scotch

The experiment uses three identical containers A, B and C (fig 1), a bottle of Dewars blended scotch, dried apple slices and a fresh Granny Smith.

A dried apple and scotch

B slices of fresh apple and scotch

C only scotch (control)

The containers were prepared and will be kept in the same conditions with respect to temperature and ambient light. After one week, a team member will decant 100ml from each container into glasses labelled Fred, Gladys and Bob, noting the corresponding sources. A second team member who was not present will then decant 30ml from each glass into shot glasses labeled Pol, Mao and Benito, again noting the corresponding sources. The first and third team members will then be asked to sample each shot glass and describe the odour and taste with emphasis on any differences noted. They will also be asked to rate the three in order of drinking preference. The experiment will then be repeated until all of the scotch and soaked apple have been consumed.

The results will then be published on this blog.

(Fig 1 http://twitter.yfrog.com/oday7rzdj)

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Bangar mutters...

Posted July 17, 2013

I can see how this would work, alcohol is great at pulling flavours out of things. The question is does it improve the flavour? I actualy enjoy the bite of higher alcohol spirits (Inner Circle rum drinker 150 proof) so I'll try it and see though I suspect Greybeard will have results much sooner than me. I have been making cumquat brandy for some time now so the principle is sound.

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w from brisbane ducks in to say...

Posted July 17, 2013

I was talking to a Mexican, I asked him what he thought about the "lip, sip, suck" salt and lemon with tequila routine.
Stupid gringoes! he said. You have no idea. We laugh at you. Those rich men Tequilas you drink. They are sooo smooth. There are Tequilas where some mexicans like to blunt the taste. They are peasant, home-made Tequilas. Some of those are ROUGH!
Salt and lemon to drink a Cuervo? Very funny!

From the other perspective, when I am drinking a beverage that is over one third alcohol, I think it is an important safety measure that it puts up a bit of a fight.

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Rise of the macaroon. Or Macaron

Posted June 22, 2013 into Food & Drink by John Birmingham

These things snuck up on us didn't they? I'd hate to think it was Masterchef's fault, but I can't recall them being as insanely popular before Adriano Zumbo tortured a bunch of would-be micro-celebrity cooks with his recipe for the diabolical French treat a couple of seasons ago.

There's other possible explanations. Quite a few French migrants have quietly arrived here the last few years, seeking economic refuge from the slow motion collapse of the European experiment. A few of them have done what migrants have always done, and set up a food stall for the curious indigenes.

Macaroon is the English spelling of the 'original' French macaron. Air quotes added because the French lifted the idea from the Italian's maccarone. The hard core fans insist that only mashed coconut shavings are appropriate. But fuck them, I say. Fuck them right off. It's the modern, popular almond paste biscuits which have captured our hearts. But why, besides their obvious superiority over the nasty, shredded coconut variety?

There's the convenience and conscience-calming nature of the little biscuit. A whole lot of nom packed into a very small and comparatively calorie-lite package. Well, lite compared to, say, Quokka's rum soaked cheesecake. Macaroons seem almost perfectly matched in size for a cup of coffee, and there's the almost gaudy, carnivalesque element of have so many diff types to choose from.

There's plenty of duds around too, and I kind of hope they don't go the way of the friand, another arrival from gay Paree – not that there's anything wrong with that. Oh, wait, there was something wrong with that. Friands grew so popular, so quickly that the quality inevitably declined across the board as more and more charlatans served up dry crumbly oval shaped munter-muffins that they passed off as the traditional treat.

My local caffeine brewery, Mugged, has recently started offering macaroons, and I'm pleased to report they're the light and delicately flavoured variety - even if in presentation they look like a flashy neon strip of Vegas. It's not unusual to find hard, dense and lumpy insults to the very idea of macaroony goodness. These are not those.

The most popular, by far they tell me, is the salted caramel, the jaunty little tan coloured fellow pushing himself forward for your consideration just above.

I'd place a bet, however, that the candy colored ones are favorites with children.

24 Responses to ‘Rise of the macaroon. Or Macaron’

DrYobbo puts forth...

Posted June 22, 2013

The advent of the McMacaron means this whole enterprise has traversed the cartilaginous fish tank I'm afraid

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted June 22, 2013

There is a clown flavored macaroon? This is... disturbing.

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ambertee would have you know...

Posted June 22, 2013

JB, you must, I repeat *MUST* visit Le Belle Miette in Melbourne, next time time you're here. Trust me, it'll be worth your while.

Barnesm would have you know...

Posted June 22, 2013

Thanks Ambertee, I was thinking on reading this post how much I could go for a decent coffee and a Macaroon, now I know were to get one.

I particularly like their "All of our macarons are gluten-free except for the Hazelnut Belle Miette, which includes paillete feuilletine (caramelized wafer) in the centre". Which makes is sound less like they are worried about catering for the glunten intolerant celiacs and more cocerned in getting their recipes to work.

mmmm

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Conspiracy Cat puts forth...

Posted June 22, 2013

If there are 11 Tim Tams in a packet, then that's how many Tim Tam's you're supposed to eat. Eating just one Tim Tam is an insult to its creator. I wouldn't want to insult anybody, let alone the creator of an Australian icon, so I have always made a point of consuming the entire packet as soon as the wrapper has been peeled off. As such, you may correctly assume that I am NOT a fan of the macaron. Not that they're not delicious. They are. But they're not an economically viable proposition. Just one of these pretty little nommy baubles will set me back $3.60 at my local deli, whereas I can get a whole packet of Tim Tams for $1.49 at IGA this week. (Sale ends tomorrow. Stock up, people!).

A single biscuit for more than the price of twenty two chocolate-dipped crunchy coffee straws? Now I think about it, perhaps that's why France has gone face first through the financial S-bend.

Durand mutters...

Posted June 22, 2013

Conspiracy Cat: Please run for Prime Minister next election. You'd be the only candidate who makes any sense.

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted June 22, 2013

This comment has caused s small war on twitter when it flushed out Tim Tim haters. Actual haters.

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she_jedi is gonna tell you...

Posted June 22, 2013

Next time you're in Perth visit Jean Pierre Sancho. It's a proper French boulangerie, a franchise of the original Jean Pierre Sancho in Paris. Two French chefs bought the rights to the name in Australia and all their recipes then moved to Perth to start the business. Every time I go there all you here is rapid fire French from the downstairs kitchens, and I feel compelled to trot out my very poor, very basic French when speaking to the cashiers, and then I feel like a groupie *shame*. Amazing bakery though. AWESOME macaroons.

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Darth Greybeard mutters...

Posted June 22, 2013

We can argue about whether burgers should have beetroot (yes) or pineapple (maybe) on them with respect for our opponents, but what kind of person could possibly hate Tim Tams? It just ain't natural.

Also, this blog is doing nothing good for my svelte figure. Mugged cupcakes (with Oreos) then, at Aunty Q's insistence, the Happy Dumpling place (drool) and now back to Mugged. It's not even a decent walk between them. Ah well, a steamed pork bun always makes me feel better.

Dave W reckons...

Posted June 22, 2013
Mr Beard, I'm in Cambodia at the moment and the on saving grace protecting my waistline from going to a new belt entirely is that they don't seem to do sweets much. So I can recommend migration as a solution to your dilemma.

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NBlob swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 22, 2013
  1. Kim Tanh bakery lives! I had pork roll for breakfast. Possibly the best breakfast in Christendom. Yeah, that's right I said it. Better. Than. Bacon. (In a urban street breakfast context) (sweet roll, processed pork & fresh salad shred with chillies.) So good I'm going for another one tomorrow morning.
  2. Macaroons, meh.
  3. Arnotts refuse to promise 0.0 palm oil content. All palm oil contains traces of orphan Orang-utan. This takes the shine off Tim Tams for me.

John Birmingham ducks in to say...

Posted June 22, 2013

Have none of you people watched Planet of the Apes? We need to increase our palm oil stockpile I tell you!

Barnesm ducks in to say...

Posted June 23, 2013

The original or the new one with the guy from Boogie Nights?

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Quokka is gonna tell you...

Posted June 23, 2013

Meh to macaroons in all their incarnations. The only reason they've become popular is because the Ritalin Generation are attracted to bright colours (ooh Shiny!) & they cause hallucinations when combined with Red Bull.

I've made a few batches of friands, the best so far being a mandarin/poppy seed combo and they are delicious. They're not like any of the ones I've had in cafes though, so I don't know which of us is doing it wrong. That said I hate eating cafe cakes because you have NFI how long it's been sitting there and cakes as a general rule are best eaten on the day they're made.

If you want truly wicked baked goods, stop in at Gerbino's patisserie (and gelateria) at Ashgrove. They do cakes as well & the gluten free hazelnut-chocolate cake is to die for.

damian has opinions thus...

Posted June 23, 2013

They also do some rather fine pies, in otherwise rare varieties, like lamb and mint.

Ildi once asked them what was in the gluten free cake. They had to get one of the old Italian guys from out back, he came out and said "rice and mice". After a while we worked out that he meant "maize".

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tqft is gonna tell you...

Posted June 23, 2013

"perfectly matched in size for a cup of coffee"

Doesn't this indicate your coffee isn't large enough. I have been known to frequent places that do 1/2 litre capuccino and nag other fine establishments that don't.

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dewpoint swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 23, 2013

Ooh I love macarons. However I do believe the modern French variety are indeed macarons, the double 'o' referring to the coconut variety, which is comparatively ordinary, as everyone knows.

They are also lots of fun to make, really Q you must have a go. Perfecting the flavour is very labourious and requires much sampling. Of course you also need a very good wrist action, just like Adriano, when piping the tiny perfections, the final flick is very important.

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paul sakkal mumbles...

Posted June 23, 2013

I'm utterly surprised this is the first article/blog of any type I've come across on the net regarding the rise of these little fuckers. and fuckers they truly are. people don't eat macroons for their taste, because I know for a fact that many other cafe treats are superior in every way. no, people consume these because wankers like manu feildel (his french accent seems to never diminish as the years living in oz increase) wax lyrical about their divinity.

they are faux-delicacies.

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dewpoint reckons...

Posted June 23, 2013

Actually JB an excellent school holiday activity would be to get a box of Zumbo's Macaron mix from the supermarket and get the kids to produce their own. The salted caramel is, well, quite good for something that is premixed in a box. And it produces a good consistency that makes piping easy. After that you'll become addicted to perfecting the little suckers

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted June 23, 2013

But think of all the extra gym time

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ali reckons...

Posted June 23, 2013

Thankyou Paul Sakkal.

You speak good sense.

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Brother PorkChop asserts...

Posted June 24, 2013

I don't like them. My kids do though and I have to say that Zumbo's shop (or hole in the wall) at Manly is fantastic and the staff are awesome. They sell mystery macarons - dipped in chocolate so the flavour is unknown. My little one dropped hers so the staff gave her 2 replacements. The coffee place next door is also the goods - sign says "We don't do Large or Grande, nor Decaf."

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Lulu would have you know...

Posted June 24, 2013

The colour of that coffee caramel macaron in the picture above is faintly disturbing: I can't get away from the feeling that a black biscuit would taste of charcoal.

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NBlob mutters...

Posted June 24, 2013
Anyone (outside of HIgh Tea) who paints food with gold deserves to be taken out the back and Flogged for being a food wanker.

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