Cheeseburger Gothic

Stokehouse. The best bowl of chips in Brisbane

Posted May 30, 2013 into Food & Drink by John Birmingham

... possibly Australia.

(Throws hands up).

I know, I know. It's a big call.

But look at these babies. Long golden spears of crunchy, perfectly spiced goodness. Not so thin as to be nothing more than potato prezels. Not so chunky that the pillowed fluffyness inside becomes tedious. A perfect balance in fact between crunch and softness.

The little bowl of aioli is lovely, although I will admit there are other dips that would work as well if not better. But we are not here to talk about dips. We are are here to discuss matters chiptastic. And I say there is nowhere you will find a more awesome fried potato product than Stokehouse on the river in Brisneyland.

27 Responses to ‘Stokehouse. The best bowl of chips in Brisbane’

TIFFINbitesized swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 30, 2013

I look forward to reading more about this in the July edition of the QANTAS inflight....

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BigWillieStyle ducks in to say...

Posted May 30, 2013

My Mum's place.

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w from brisbane swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 30, 2013

A truly great chip.
Is there really such a thing?

People have made promises to me before, but it has ended up being all herbs and salt. And when people say, it comes with aioli, that is like a knife through the heart.

I’ve learnt not to miss chips. I just miss what I thought chips could be.

You say that Stokehouse has a chiptastic chip.
I hope you are being honest with me, JB. I’ve been hurt before.
Can I risk being hurt again?

John Birmingham mutters...

Posted May 30, 2013

I speak the Truth.

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Vovchara reckons...

Posted May 30, 2013

aww.... *driving to airport, to buy a ticket to ... possibly australia" :D

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yankeedog would have you know...

Posted May 30, 2013

There is an art to the french fry, or chip to y'all. Too thin and they get cold right away, and cold fries? No, not good, not good at all. Too big, and as you said, sort of mushy. Not many restaurants do them right. Sometimes the best fries are at little holes-in-the-wall that cut their own spuds to make them. I'd hesitate to name a chain that has 'the perfect chip'.

Aioli with fries? Interesting, but I think that's for you elitist types. People have using ketchup with fried 'tater products for years, because it works.

John Birmingham ducks in to say...

Posted May 30, 2013

The best chips I ever had, ever, and I mean chips not fries which are thinner and 'stringier', came from a hole in the wall around the corner from the old Rolling Stone offices in Sydney. They were amazing. Especially since this place was a greasy spoon that served mostly homeless guys. In fact we thought the secret of their chips was that they'd rendered down a few hobos for cooking oil.

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NBlob swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 30, 2013

I'm glad to see chips taken seriously and given their due study.

Currently the chicken joint on Brisbane Rd. Mooloolaba, across the road from the dive shop has my personal blue ribbon.

There is a distinct poultry fat - spud nexus. Generally BBQ Chook shops do better chips than Fish & Chiperys, perhaps the oil stays cleaner longer.

Best National Chip - USA Fries. Worst National Chip - Scotland.

w from brisbane puts forth...

Posted May 30, 2013

What the hell. I'm willing to give chips another go.
I am in Mooloolaba at the moment, so I will give the Mooloolaba Gourmet Chookhouse a go tomorrow. That can give me a quality benchmark before the Stokehouse tasting.

A mate, who lives in the Kimberley and spends a lot of time in remote aboriginal communities, reckons cooked witchetty grubs are, in all seriousness, the perfect chip. Potato is the inferior substitute. He is probably right.

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Albion Love Den ducks in to say...

Posted May 30, 2013
Pfft. Meet you at Lord of The Fries at 1am to fight you about it.

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Barnesm ducks in to say...

Posted May 30, 2013

Damn now I want chips.

Dave W puts forth...

Posted May 31, 2013

Barnesm, it's now 8 in the morning and now I need chips.

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cletus reckons...

Posted May 31, 2013

Andrikos Seafood in Bardon (Macgregor Tce) - best beer battered chips that I have come across in Brisbane.

NB: seafood and burgers are pretty good to.

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Brother PorkChop mumbles...

Posted May 31, 2013

Best chain chips I have found are at Grill'd, nice burgers too. Stokehouse chips are indeed chiptastic - I would attest to this fact. And Mooloolaba chicken joint will certainly get a visit soon.

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Lulu would have you know...

Posted May 31, 2013

*Googles Stokehouse location/s in Melbourne*

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Peter Bradley reckons...

Posted May 31, 2013

In his book "The Man Who Ate Everything" New York Times food critic Jeffery Steingarten has a chapter about the pursuit of the perfgect french frie. It is highly entertaining and involves such experiments as using horse fat. He is silent on chips though. We all know that ther chip is superior to the frie.

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theangrywarden mumbles...

Posted May 31, 2013

Price?

I still have not got over Aria's chips. They were fine chips, don't get me wrong. Might even have been the best I've ever had. They were at least thrice cooked. Matt Moran probably peeled the spuds himself. The frying oil was probably from the moon. However...

A bowl of eight chips cost TEN DOLLARS.

That's more than a dollar a chip. It still leaves me flabbergasted.

Brother PorkChop asserts...

Posted May 31, 2013

Wow!! That is awesome!! Never been to Aria as I couldn't justify the prices at all, nevermind the chips. $105 for a small Wagyu steak. And I was told that it was actually priced higher than Aria in Sydney.

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted May 31, 2013

Now I want those chips.

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w from brisbane ducks in to say...

Posted May 31, 2013

I have now been to Nblob's Mooloolaba Gourmet Chookhouse.
A very welcoming, old school takeaway. Amongst other items, they do offer marinated chicken. While I was there, their burgers and their chips seemed to be the popular items. I wasn't the only person who came in and just asked for chips.

The chips. You place your order, your allotment of chips is put in a deep fryer basket and popped into the deep fryer. All chips orders seem to be freshly cooked. I just went for the small serving ($3.50). The serving could have been a large snack for the average eater. Definitely more than a cup and definitely chips, not french fries. The plain or chicken salt option is offered.

These were not gourmet chips. Gourmet chips tend to be a bit fatter and are herbed. However, I preferred them to most of the gourmet chips I have had as they are normally soft and lukewarm. These were hot and crisp. They are the good chips I remember from my teens in the 70's. Not fancy, just good old fashioned chips.

They tasted as good as they smelt. Which is fine praise for a chip.

John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted May 31, 2013

On my to do list.

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NBlob puts forth...

Posted May 31, 2013

Thankyou W. You appear a consonant of taste &/or distinction.

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Murphy mutters...

Posted June 1, 2013

I'm trying to think of a place in Kansas City which produces a consistently decent batch of fries/chips. . . .

.

.

.

.

. . . still pondering the matter.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

P.S. Now, if you want what we Americans call potato chips and are looking for some home made kind, Harry's Country Club on the River Market does an excellent batch with french onion dip. Starve yourself for a week and come with a wheelbarrow and a coolie to push you home in it after the meal.

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NBlob asserts...

Posted June 1, 2013
@ Murph.
Nomenclature.
In Oz 'chips' can describe hot or cold slices of fried potato. Fries exclusively describe the hot variety, mostly in a transnational burger joint context. It surprised me in the US to order burger & chips and get a little bag of fritos in a basket beside my plate. I've never seen such a meal served in Oz. In the UK 'crisps' describe the cold variety.

As I said above, I take my potato products seriously. After careful and comprehensive research I believe the standard Fry in the USA to be superior to the standard fry in Oz. Portion size, individual fry dimension, crunchiness, potato flavour, all contribute. I may be an extremist, but I maintain if you cant hear a chip crunch as you eat it, it aint crunchy enough.

While I'm on my hobby horse, who told Fish & Chip shops to put orders in plastic bags? Seriously it's like chaining cement blocks to a Ferrari or putting bikini models in a fridge box.

Prepare yourself; In Scotland I found it standard practice for Fish & Chipperys to cook their chips a whole (5kg) bag at a time, resulting in catastrophic cooling of the oil (which was invariably stale). They were then shovelled into a steam-saturated display case where they wait for the unwary customer, slowly liquefying. Oh god the horror. This was not isolated, I researched far & wide and this seems industry practice.

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Boscolamb puts forth...

Posted June 2, 2013

But I wanna know who makes the best onion rings?

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Moko mumbles...

Posted June 2, 2013

Better photo!

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w from brisbane puts forth...

Posted June 2, 2013

My daughter said,
"Chips!" Her face took on a dreamy faraway look.
"Carraway Pier. They know their chips! The best."

Carraway Pier, Kelvin Grove, Brisbane. A fish, chips and burger place.

I see the comments on Urbanspoon include
"awesome crunchy chips"
"The best chips and aoli around Brisbane."
"Fantastic chips!"
"the beer battered chips are crisp and addictive."
"The beer battered chips were awesome."
"the (to die for) chips"
"Seriously the BEST chips i've EVER had! "

Seems definitely worth an investigation for serious Brisbane chip fanciers.

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Sardines and salami

Posted May 25, 2013 into Food & Drink by John Birmingham

I know, right? Eeww. And yet it totally works. At least the way they're serving it up over at Sourced in New Farm. I'm pretty sure these are the guys responsible for making sardines cool again. Or maybe just cool. I don't know that there's ever been a time before now when sardines were considered anything other than poor man's sandwich filler. They were a cheap source of protein when I was a kid and I don't recall any fond memories of them.

So maybe it was just perverse nostalgia made me try the La Cuca sardines on toast the first time I saw them on the menu here.

Turned out they were awesome. Nothing like the stinky garbage fish of yore. Two lighty toasted slabs of sourdough, a green salad and a cup of coffee. Breakfast of champions.

Next time I went, however, the menu had changed and the leaf was gone, replaced by a salsa verde. Or maybe pesto. It changes all the damn time. Damn them. The latest incarnation arrived with a strangely familar paste that I thought might have been some sort of capsicum dip.

Nope.

It was a skinless salami. In fact the skinless salami I'd first tried over at Enoteca and which I'd seen subsequently at half a dozen other, mostly Italian, joints around town. Think of a hot, spicey salami that hasn't 'set' hard and isn't fashioned into a sausage. It usually comes in a little bowl and you spread it on chunks of bread, maybe dabbed with a little olive oil for moisture.

I would never, ever have thought of putting it together with sardines. But these guys did. (Tossed a little pot of confit garlic and some cherry tomatoes in for good measure, too). Thinking I was smearing a sort of pepper dip on my toast, I wasn't surprised by the spike of heat, but the 'meaty' flavours and mouthfeel did provide a momentary WTF interlude.

And then I inhaled the lot.

It was such a mammoth meal I didn't need to eat again until dinner. Only one caveat. The salami paste does not play well with white coffee. I'd have water or a long black if I was doing this again. But given how often Sourced switch out the elements of their sardine toast, I probably won't get the chance.

11 Responses to ‘Sardines and salami’

kardiac puts forth...

Posted May 25, 2013

I remember my Dad eating sardines right from the can. He grew up poor in Pittsburgh and they were a treat for him when he was a kid. I watched him slurp those things down using his fingers. Pretty much put me off on them.

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Monster Yuppy puts forth...

Posted May 25, 2013

Looks like I shall wander down there for breakfast this morning....

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted May 25, 2013

I'd bet the salami paste is exactly the same one they serve at Bucci.

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w from brisbane is gonna tell you...

Posted May 25, 2013

Uncooked sardines, butterflied, a few herbs thrown on top, a drizzle of olive oil, cooked for a minute or so on the barbie. Quite a feature of a backyard barbecue circuit I enjoyed back in the 90's. Delicious!

There were a few sardine providers in Brisbane. You had to be quick because their stock would disappear so quickly.

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sibeen mumbles...

Posted May 25, 2013

That sort of meal cries out for a large mug of decent tea to be the accompaning beverage.

w from brisbane ducks in to say...

Posted May 25, 2013

An ice cold lager for me. Breakfast of champions.

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Bunyip is gonna tell you...

Posted May 25, 2013

I must admit, I've sometimes used sardines instead of minced meat to make a Scilian instead of a Bolognese sauce with pasta.

BTW that Salami spread sounds fucking yum.

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Trowzers would have you know...

Posted May 25, 2013

I'm a thirtysomething female, and I've often had sardines on toast (with a little cheese lightly melted on the top, and basil pesto on the toast). Only when I'm in the mood for it, mind you. But yeah, I can totally see how this could be a thing. When you're up for it, it's awsm.

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted May 25, 2013

Cheese and sardines? Wow.

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Conspiracy Cat mumbles...

Posted May 26, 2013

I saw an episode of Iron Chef a few years back, where the Ingredient-Of-The-Day was sardines. Man, by the end of that episode I was drooling for little fishies!

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Lulu mutters...

Posted May 27, 2013

Sardines + salami sounds great. My favourite tinned sardine choice is the Santamaria in hot sauce. Mmmmm ...

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Happy, happy hour

Posted May 23, 2013 into Food & Drink by John Birmingham

Who the hell am I kidding? They're all my favourites. Especially the one I'm live blogging right now, from the bar at Claret House while the kids knock over a music lesson. I'm drinking a mystery red, a weird Yarra Valley blend of sangiovese and sav blanc. Yep, the Britney Spears of the wine world. They snuck it past my guard. It smells a little rusty in the glass, but drinks dry and light. I'm thinking of having some pate with it and calling that dinner.

It's quiet here tonight, unusually, perhaps because of the cold weather closing in and keeping people inside. S'cool, more elbow room at the bar for me.

I was very happy in this bar in Sydney. Until Annabel Crabb told me I'd be having dinner with Bob Ellis later that evening.

I like this place for an escape from Planet Parenthood. It's friendly and reliable, and the food is a cut above your standard bar nosh. (Pork belly sliders for the win!) Some of the the burg's will know it from previous meet ups and we will undoubtedly meet her again in the future. I'm thinking of having my birthday here next year, but that's not what we're talking about.
Happy hour. Happy, happy hour.

It's a tradition that seems to be falling away in this fast paced go-go world of ours and that's a shame. I think it's still a thing in the US, because I've enjoyed a few very happy hours in this bar and that at the end of book tour days. San Francisco in particular seemed to be keeping the flame alive. The hotel I stayed in last time I was there on my own had the happiest hour of all. Free drinks for house guests! And not just the sloppy seconds from the previous night's unsold, oxidised rubbish either. They uncorked fresh bottles every day at five, show casing a flight of west coast wineries and providing a few nibblies to go with them.

Claret House, do their happy hour – half price drinks – on Wednesdays and Fridays. But the hour runs for two hours. Huzzah.

No trays of party pies or sausage rolls, however, which I recall from the pubs I rolled through in the 1980s. Man, when I found out they were serving food...

I guess the thing that makes it a bit spesh these days is the fact I can almost never get away from commitments and responsibilities for anything like an hour on any given day. I can always dream however, and I'm sure that some of you will have super secret knowledge of a happy hour I can dream of too
.

24 Responses to ‘Happy, happy hour’

alexmac ducks in to say...

Posted May 23, 2013

Ermagherd. I'm going to humbly put forward Boulder, Colorado as the world capital of happy hours. Every single bar and restaurant seems to have one. And we're talking serious deals - unlimited food, $1 beers - stuff like that. You're on the edge of the Rocky Mountains, there's craft beer - what more could you want? Oh, it's a college town and one of the fittest places in America, so the eye candy ain't bad either.

John Birmingham ducks in to say...

Posted May 23, 2013

That sounds like heaven on Earth.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 24, 2013

Boulder is a great place, one of my favorite American towns. Figure out a way to stop there, John. I know you. You will love it.

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alexmac puts forth...

Posted May 23, 2013

Oh, and "Prairie Oysters"

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w from brisbane has opinions thus...

Posted May 23, 2013

I love a happy hour, particularly when they last for 2 hours.

Sauv Blanc. A few years ago, James Halliday wrote an article about S.B.
He said, he had been stunned when a favourite English wine writer mentioned in passing about S.B's well known ability to be be confused with Cabernet Sauvignon in blind tasteings.
!!!????!!
No, Mr Halliday couldn't credit it either.
So he got some mates together, did a proper blindfold tasteing of a selection of S.B.s and C.S.s.
He was shocked and a little embarassed to report that every judge got at least one wrong. Not always the same glass, but every judge called at least one glass incorrectly.
!!

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Bonneth reckons...

Posted May 23, 2013

The Pearl Resort in Fiji - Cocktails were 2 for 1 every 6pm -7pm. And they were already cheap (and 80% liquor). Oof!

John Birmingham ducks in to say...

Posted May 23, 2013

Lordy!

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Spanner is gonna tell you...

Posted May 23, 2013

Wow. A happy hour? The Responsible Service of Alcoboozeamhol (RSA) has killed the happy hour in NSW.

I have fond memories of this mythical beast. Finding a quality pub with mates that isn't stupidly crowded for a cheap beer or 8 while the nibbles come and go. Sigh.

Me and my middle age shall go and get a glass of nostalgia out of that 2 day old oxidised bottle of red and sit down to chat with my imaginary friends on twitter.

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Barnesm has opinions thus...

Posted May 23, 2013

I thought happy hour was if someone else was picking up the tab on the business account.

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted May 23, 2013

That's A happy hour, not THE happy hour.

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Dino not to be confused with ducks in to say...

Posted May 23, 2013

Happy happy hour JB,

Lucky we don't build cars for a living.

Still there is a glut of Treasury money up for grabs now.

I'll split Ford's share with ya and we'll buy everyone in Austrayla drink.

Good time to set up a car plant in Brisneyland. They'll pay ya to do it JB!

Now what is a good name for an Aussie car? The 'Brisney' ?

w from brisbane swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 23, 2013

I am puzzled why GMH has never put out a long, thin and whiny car and called it the Holden Caulfield.

Dino not to be confused with ducks in to say...

Posted May 23, 2013

w,

Me too. It would look great if the hood ornament was a rotating wire bookrack like you see at the airports.

Ooh and the radio would always play "What about me...it isn't fair..."

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tqft swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 23, 2013

Once upon a time I used to work in Melbourne. Happy hour at the Someplace Else bar was 6pm-7pm. Working until 6 but on call needed to be logged on at 7. Snacks cheap drinks & free pool.

Later had to move office. There was a pub between office & underground station to get home on Spring St. Quite nice snacks as it was a bit of a posh pub.

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w from brisbane mumbles...

Posted May 24, 2013

My mate was in Las Vegas in about 1980. At one casino, I think Circus Circus, all drinks and all food were free all the time. And, they would give you a dollar for every hour you were there.
My mate said that there seemed no good reason to leave. It was a really good session. He didn't spend a cent and then collected his $24 on the way out.

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BigWillieStyle asserts...

Posted May 24, 2013

I recall being happy for an hour once, in the 1980s, I believe. I had a really good baked dinner. Yeah, good times.

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Quokka asserts...

Posted May 24, 2013

They had happy hour at the REC club at James Cook Uni when I was there as a lass. I vaguley recall there were bands and I drank a lot of half priced cocktails invented by a gay friend called a Dirty MotherFKR. Four white spirits and a splash of orange juice in a 10 oz glass.

If only I could remember it.

BigWillieStyle is gonna tell you...

Posted May 24, 2013

Q, that reminds me of a lovely evening I had at the UQ Student's Rec Club back in the early 90s. Midweek night, there was a Guns &/or Roses cover band playing, and they were charging $2 for jugs of XXXX all night. Cheap piss, early-90s thrash metal, flanelette as far as the eye could see. A very Happy Hour Or Several indeed.

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Brother PorkChop is gonna tell you...

Posted May 24, 2013

The Pullman Hotel Olympic Park Sydney has "corporate drinks" on Wednesday evening for inhouse guests. For us it turned into a 5 hour session with the hotel sales manager including a never ending stream of quite delicious snacks from the kitchen. And that was even before we got our bags to our rooms. We had to be "escorted" to our rooms post session as I couldn't even find the bloody lifts.

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Chaz mutters...

Posted May 24, 2013

Yes really like the Claret House.

Most dissapointed in you drinkinga Sauv Blanc blend.

As any fool know the only acceptbale Sauv Blanc is Pouilly-Fume

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted May 24, 2013

I am tired of your hyperbole and outright lies. I am a fool and I didn't know that the only acceptable Sauv Blanc is Pouilly-Fume until just now. I thought Seresin Marama 2007 Marlborough is fairly good, but I'm certainly not a competent judge of such things.

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Kat has opinions thus...

Posted May 24, 2013

On our trip to Vietnam earlier this year we walked past a bar in Hoi An with a blackboard outside stating

"Happy Hour. 10am - 8pm"

AWESOME!!

John Birmingham mumbles...

Posted May 24, 2013

Rofling now.

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Therbs puts forth...

Posted May 24, 2013

One of the best threads about a Birmoverse ever. Not being a magic/orcs/dragons/wizards oeuvre fan I have litle to offer except I just hope that JB caps a few of those smug fucking hobbits.

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The top 50 BBQ joints in Texas.

Posted May 16, 2013 into Food & Drink by John Birmingham

Because (1) barbecue, (2) Texas, and (3) there are a coupla hundred Amercans roll thru here while the rest of us are abed.

They deserve this.

15 Responses to ‘The top 50 BBQ joints in Texas. ’

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted May 17, 2013

Americans love to debate BBQ.

As we all know, Texas BBQ is just one of many styles of BBQ, and it is far from the best. Sure, Texans love it, but they are the most jingoistic bunch you'll ever meet - if the word "Texas" is associated with it, then they will fight to the death to defend its excellence. If the word "Texas" was associated with child molestation, Texans would argue vehemently that Texas style molestation is the biggest and best there is. Senator, back me up on this.

That said, Texas BBQ is fine, but, for my taste, Kansas City style is the best. Murph, back me up on this.

Murphy reckons...

Posted May 17, 2013

Yep. KC's got it rockin' on the BBQ front. Don't let any Texicans or North Carolianan types lead you astray.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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Texas Bob has opinions thus...

Posted May 17, 2013

Everything in Texas is bigger than anywhere else. And Better. If you got it then we got it too and we got it bigger. That's the Texas way and anyone who thinks different can be killed by any mob that assembles around anyone who says anything bad about Texas. Thats legal in Texas. And Montana. But it is more legal in Texas.

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SenatorMckinneyTexas reckons...

Posted May 17, 2013

I'd say that Texas Bob has it down pretty well and the effete Californicator is letting his state-envy issues get the better of him, which is entirely understandable and something that Texans expect and are ok with. And besides, Texas style pedophilia involves young goats and such and is therefore perfectly normal and natural.

As for the actual article, which is written in English and has polysyllables and whatnot and therefore may be confusing to those not-from-the-Great-State-of-Texas, I've eaten at Opie's in Spicewood and, even though it is IN Texas, it is not so much of a much. Luling City Market is the best I've had.

Given the popularity of and fascination with all things Texan and the world-wide envy of all non-Texans, maybe JB should post more often on this timely and eternal topic.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted May 17, 2013

How far is Luling City Market from your neck of the woods, Senator?

SenatorMckinneyTexas asserts...

Posted May 18, 2013

2 hours, give or take, with a branch in Houston about 10 minutes from the office.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted May 17, 2013

Well, if it was elderly goats, that would be sort of icky, wouldn't it?

I feel I should have declared my conflict of interest. I am a certified KC BBQ judge. But I only got my certification because I thought it would be my ticket to free food.

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Barnesm asserts...

Posted May 17, 2013

Deserve's Got Nothing To Do With It!

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Quokka would have you know...

Posted May 17, 2013

Jeebus I just heard the news about the tornadoes that tore through Texas. I hope all you BBQ enthusiasts and your loved ones are OK.

SenatorMckinneyTexas mumbles...

Posted May 18, 2013

East Texas got hammered. Bad stuff. Happens every couple of years, or a hurricane. Thanks for the thought.

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NBlob mutters...

Posted May 17, 2013

Aunty Q.

Word is that the tornaode was actually a djenie or malevolant spirit conjured by an ex-marine who learnt some of the dark ancient arts while stationed in Southern Iraq. He allegedly "crossed the streams" of a Middle East lamb marinade with a Texan dry rub. The resulting taste explosion was described as a tornado, but only as a result of the local paucity of vocabulary and the unwillingness to step outside the strict Judeo-Christian gestalt.

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Wayne ducks in to say...

Posted May 17, 2013

Complete and utter heresy. BBQ started in the southern delta. It's home is, and always has been, Memphis. This weekend the International BBQ Cooking Contest is being held in Memphis, as it has been for my entire life (37 years), bringing in competitors across the globe in a drunken orgy of BBQ and beer on the bluffs of the Mississippi.

If you haven't had Memphis BBQ, you haven't had BBQ. Everything else is just regional variations.

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Murphy mumbles...

Posted May 19, 2013

For Kansas City style barbecue the best resource would have to be Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations Episode covering the topic. Of course, he did more than just visit BBQ joints, he also hit The Savoy (meh, great place to get mugged) and sent his traveling companion, some Russian dude, to Stroud's.

Gates, where they scream, "HI, MAY I HELP YOU?" when you come through the door isn't bad once you get past that unpleasant bit of it. Certainly they do well with their sauces. Though personally, the Grand Master has to be Arthur Bryants, where the floor tries to grab the soles of your shoes. Some of the best ribs in town.

Not to be outdone is a newcomer, Smokin' Guns BBQ in North Kansas City (which would not exist at all in the post-Wave universe since it wasn't really a concern in 2003). They've just upgraded their digs and the ribs are first rate as well though they, for some strange reason, have their off days. Guy Fieri covered them in Diners, Drive Throughs and Dives.

Then there is Woodyard BBQ, over in Merriam, Kansas near the railroad tracks. You can buy your own wood there or you can stop in and sample their vittles. Excellent ribs to be had there and the beans are first rate.

Yeah, there are other places. You've got Jack Stack, which is okay but snobby down on The Plah-zah, which is pretty fair.

If one is up for a bit of a drive, heading out to Excelsior Springs for a night at The Elms Hotel (Truman was there in 1948) brings you within walking distance of Wabash BBQ. Set up in an old interurban train station, they've got blues every weekend during the summer and good vittles year round.

Ah, whatever you do, do not go to NYC for your BBQ (or your Mexican for that matter). If there are decent places in California for BBQ, I'm not sure where they are. They do many things well there but BBQ didn't seem to be on the list.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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Dino not to be confused with swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 19, 2013

I was planning on going to Austin anyway.

Now'll looks like I'll mosey on over to Memphis then head towards Motown via Kansas City.

Dunno when but I plan to have a full report on your desks ASAP. I can't wait!

Oh to have the BBQ Reporter job or be a judge!

There is a career in journaism for me!

Dino not to be confused with puts forth...

Posted May 19, 2013

'Cept I cannot spell journalism!

Ditch diggin' here I come...

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Respond to 'The top 50 BBQ joints in Texas. '

The Oxford Street Tart

Posted May 11, 2013 into Food & Drink by John Birmingham

Hands up everyone whose mind went straight to the gutter. Right. Off to the naughty corner with you, because you do not deserve to enjoy this flaky, eggy little flavor bomb of goodness. My little friend here, the Portuguese custard tart from the Oxford Street Bakery is one of the reasons I get through so many podcasts and audiobooks. If you're going to cultivate a serious hungry for these things, and it's almost impossible not to, you’ll need to be spending some time on the treadmill too. These tarts are the preferred food of the blubber eel which is forever trying to take up residence around my tummy regions.

Two minutes of heady pleasure. Two hours of treadmill pain.

But, one caveat. It’s not really a Portuguese custard tart, is it? Not because it was baked about million miles from the monastery at Santa Maria de Belém, the spiritual home of the Pastel de Nata, but because it’s just all wrong. The pastry is wrong. The egg custard; wrong. The slightly burned skin which is the mark of a true nata? Not even there.

And yet… God help me, I have come to prefer these ones. The sweet, soft crust pastry has a much more predictable consistency and although it lacks the crunch of a properly executed Portuguese custard tart, nor does it suffer from the problems of inconsistency, irregularity and simple shoddy fucking pastry skills which so often ruin the experience elsewhere.

I love these things. They are my treat of the week. From Monday to Friday as I grimly mutter “No bakery treats no bakery treats, step away from the sweet treat cabinet you fool”, it is the prospect of inhaling one on the weekend which keeps me honest. I try to get there early enough to score one fresh from the oven, when they are at their best, with a thin skin barely holding in the gooey just set custard. With a strong coffee they are an almost perfect start to the day.

I’ve always been a fiend for custard tarts. My mother tells me I threw one of my greatest tantrums as a child when I was forced to abandon a half eaten tart to run for a bus, or something. The reason for the abandonment hardly matters, does it? It was principle of the thing.

I still love and appreciate a good, traditional stodgy Anglo tart, with the wide, almost biscuity base and a sprinkling of cinnamon, and I’ll always save room at Yum Cha for the Chinese version – of which there are two types, the Chinese of Macau being influenced by their former colonial overlords from… Portugal. But there is nothing to compare to having one small simple serving of custardy awesome in one hand, and a decent cup of java in the other.

54 Responses to ‘The Oxford Street Tart’

Nick puts forth...

Posted May 11, 2013

As ever your blogging tool renders your fine prose almost unreadable in my RSS thing by inserting seemingly random characters. - you’ll - for example.

John Birmingham swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 11, 2013

That's tiresome. What kit are you using to access?

coriolisdave has opinions thus...

Posted May 12, 2013

Dunno about Nick, but I'm seeing it on Google Reader (and TheOldReader, given GR's imminent demise). Have been meaning to mention it for a while.

Daniel Young puts forth...

Posted May 12, 2013

Same here in The Old Reader, very annoying. Probably the XML in the RSS feed is wrongly encoded.

Nick would have you know...

Posted May 13, 2013

I'm on both Reeder on iPad and GR and old reader. Sometimes posts get too hard too read - which is a poor reflection on my attention span.

coriolisdave reckons...

Posted May 16, 2013

And it's fixed! Awesomesauce!

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted May 16, 2013

I thought you were talking about your lack of custard tart.

coriolisdave has opinions thus...

Posted May 17, 2013

Alas, no. Every time I plan to get over to Bulimba I am stymied by the Spawn.

One day, though, they will be mine. Oh yes. They will be mine.

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Quokka asserts...

Posted May 11, 2013

Yeah, they're good, but I can't get past the Oxford bakery without taking one of their orange & almond cakes with me. Although the lemon and polenta cakes are good too.

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Mark Duffett swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 11, 2013

Two minutes? If they're half as good as you say, I'd be eking it out for at least twenty.

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mondoworld mutters...

Posted May 11, 2013

I guess a worldy gent such as yourself is fully across the Yum Cha warmed custard tart of the type scoffed by the thousand in Fortitude Valley...

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damian is gonna tell you...

Posted May 11, 2013
They the place with the deli out back? Some decent cacciatore to be had there.

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted May 11, 2013

Nah, that'd be Sugo Mi you're thinking of I reckon. Quite decent pizzas. In fact between the two of them and Sushi Mura that pretty much covers your only choices on that strip.

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DrYobbo puts forth...

Posted May 11, 2013

Not a big sweet tooth, but that could convince me to change my ways. About to crack into a pork pie from Who Ate All The Pies, who do excellent work in these parts.

HAVOCK21 has opinions thus...

Posted May 11, 2013

chocolate éclairs are her go Doctor!

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w from brisbane asserts...

Posted May 11, 2013

Custard, custard, custard.
Bee Sting cake!!!! Yum, yum, yum, yum. yum.

Aaaarggh!! Stop thinking!

.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted May 11, 2013

Oh that looks good. I, too, have a weakness for egg custard pastries. And I simply love the Chinese restaurant version.

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Therbs has opinions thus...

Posted May 11, 2013

Portuguese bakery in Bondi Junction does a very tasty rendition. Coffee is drinkable as well.

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Darth Greybeard swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 11, 2013

Just back from the markets with a couple of salted caramel tarts, some little rum babas and some half and half canolis. Sadly I have to share them and there were no other little tarts there. Except this one who was straddling her bf under the lighthouse . . .

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damian mumbles...

Posted May 11, 2013
Ah well I'm sipping wine to recover from my breakfast not so much of champions, but rather of ruthless hereditary-dictator overlords. This involved turkish buns of the kind that resemble a miniature ciabatta, dijon mustard, leftover salad with garlic-and-yogurt sauce from last night, also leftover "steakette" hamburgers, sliced in half so as to be half rather than inch thick, and slices of a light rennet-free cheese - all grilled (broiled) slowly to warm through the leftovers.

One day this balance between exercise and diet will work out, some way or other.

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Bunyip mutters...

Posted May 11, 2013

If any of you are down here in Bushrangeryland, don't go to the Wesley Hill Bakehouse in Castlemaine.They only make so many baked custard tarts a day, and I don't want to miss out because of you.... itinerant pastry scoffers.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan puts forth...

Posted May 12, 2013

Oh, I can't have one? You're trying to discourage me from getting one? Then I must have one.

It is the American way. I'm not kidding. It is a cultural trait to want desperately what someone discourages you from having and to strive to do whatever someone recommends you avoid.

Bunyip ducks in to say...

Posted May 12, 2013

Oh, PNB. That was just directed at the riff raff from Queensland. We will happily take your foreign currency down here. Tourism dollars yadda yadda...

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JP is gonna tell you...

Posted May 11, 2013

Remember I said we should do a panel at this year's brissie writers fest about explodey-end-of-the-world stories? Fuck that - let's just sit at this place for an hour and smash these tarts. Like, every one they have. what's the worst that will happen - your eel will turn into the pacific rim? Ye gods...

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drej swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 11, 2013

Only time I'll go anything custard is when its brandy-infused and accompanied by whipped cream on a christmas pud. Otherwise, meh.

But have always been a sucker for a good cream filled apple turnover. Yet to find a really good one in Qld.

tqft swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 11, 2013

I have been sampling the wares from Bumblebee Bakery in Runcorn where the aforesaid apple turnover with cream has been spotted, bought and consumed on a few occassions to repeat the taste tests for science.

Mmmm science.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 12, 2013

Our lives are so different, drej. Whereas you havent found a good cream filled apple turnover, I have never encountered a bad one anywhere, Queensland notwithstanding, and I suspect I never will.

drej ducks in to say...

Posted May 12, 2013

tqft, Bumblebee you say. I shall check this out, thank you.

Paul, I am new to Qld, given time and a lot of research, I hold high hopes of finding the perfect turnover...

Brother PorkChop mumbles...

Posted May 13, 2013

You cannot go past a good snot block. Brisbane is a little short as far as I have found but Acland Street St Kilda is snot block heaven.

Lulu asserts...

Posted May 13, 2013

Brother Porkchop, Acland Street is heaven for all sorts of sweet reasons more exotic than a vanilla slice. Particularly cheese cake, and the pastries with poppy seed filling. Or that cake which combines cheesecake *and* a poppy seed layer ... please excuse me while I drool like Homer Simpson.

Brother PorkChop has opinions thus...

Posted May 14, 2013

Quite true, Lulu but vanilla slice is a good start. I have have the most divine rum baba there as well.

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Murphy ducks in to say...

Posted May 11, 2013

I knew you meant food, but then I was with you in NYC with the Blueberry drenched Cheesecake of Doom at Carengie Deli.

Tarts are hard to come by in KC, pastry or otherwise. On the other hand, some very fine croissants and quiche can be had at Le Monde Bakery in North Kansas City (yes, from the Without Warning trilogy). I'm partial to the apple crossiant myself. Cindy prefers the quiche. Strangely enough, it is a French-Vietnamese establishment which also serves things with curry in it for lunch.

As for other fine dessert type foods, one probably should visit Aixois in Crestwood (a very small, very snotty, very old neighborhood near UMKC) for their Creme Brulee, which is definitely worth committing a homicide or three over.

Tarts, sadly, are hard to come by.

Or with, for that matter.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan puts forth...

Posted May 12, 2013

Not strange at all. Before the US, the French were mucking about in Vietnam, and they adopted French cooking techniques as well as French food itself. I am willing to bet real money that John, while in Vietnam, could have found a great coq au vin. It doesn't surprise me that your local Vietnamese restaurant makes a good breakfast quiche. I don't eat quiche for fear of appearing gay. Not that there's anything wrong with it. It's just that if people believe you are gay they also expect you to be more stylish, and that just isn't me.

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted May 12, 2013

Not only found one, I ate it all by myself.

NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted May 12, 2013

I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

With apologies to W. H Auden. Kim Than's the Vietnam/French bakery in SthBrisbane has closed. No breakfast ever will be as good, now Those spicy pork buns in Le pastry will never be again.

With similar, but obverse heritage I bring to your attention Domaine de Canton. A spectacular cocktail ingrediant liquor that is brewed in France with Ginger appropriated from the Indochine. Slightly fkn AWSM.

Anthony reckons...

Posted May 14, 2013

The French/Vietnamese connection... It is claimed that Ho Chi-Minh trained for a time in Paris as a pastry cook under Escoffier .

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Barnesm ducks in to say...

Posted May 11, 2013

Could more attention be paid to making the crust and tart more symetrical in appearance? Is the radius of the tart consistent from week to week? There is a much more subline beauty in the mathematics of the shape then in any prepared sweet.

Paraphrasing Dr Carl Sagan ..if If you wish to make a Portuguese custard tart from scratch, you must first invent the universe.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted May 12, 2013

If tart radius is subject to change, then I would suspect being cheated or, at the very least, my snack would be ruined by intrusive thoughts questioning my decision (e.g., "you didn't pick the biggest one, idiot; the ugly bloke with the bow tie picked it, and now is eating your tart; YOUR tart; you should walk over there and grab it; and then run..." and so on). I hate when that happens.

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NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted May 12, 2013
Brother Bunyip you Will regret that. The USAnians are bandits for a little extraterritorial take away. To demonstrate, let’s just take the first ten years of the previous century.

1900 – China. The Boxer Rebellion was about Yum Cha, not about “protect foreign lives during the Boxer uprising” as the justification was put about later.

1901 –Panama. Keeping the canal open to permit speedy delivery of nomables from east to west & vice versa.

1902 – Colombia. – Aijiaco a chicken soup with avocado & cream

1902 – Colombia - Repeat of 1902 & tostadas.

1903 –Honduras A trader @ Puerto Cortes refused to give over the recipe for his marinade used in his special Pinchos Americanos, so the gringos invaded. Seemed reasonable at the time.

1903 – Dominican Republic. “To protect American interests in the city of Santo Domingo” = Access to Pasteles en hojas.

1903 – Syria. Known as the first Kebab war. Allegedly after a lot of beer it seemed like the best idea since sliced baklava

1903–04 – Ethiopia. Coffee

1904 – Dominican Republic. Again

1904 – Tangier, Morocco. Lamb.

1904 – Panama. See 1901

1904–05 – Korea. A Mistake. The DoD thought that it was Thailand and they wanted to safeguard supplies of curry puffs & cuttlefish balls.

1906–09 – Cuba. United Fruit Co.

See a pattern forming?

damian is gonna tell you...

Posted May 12, 2013

Brecht innit? Grub first, then ethics.

Bunyip puts forth...

Posted May 13, 2013

NBlob, they have already been here, and gone.

Within 20km of where I live is an American Hill, California Gully and Jim Crow Creek. And very few Americans. We are the Antipodian Borg; we assimilated them all.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted May 13, 2013

Damian - I don't know Brecht beyond sitting through the Caucasian Chalk Circle and imagining I was somewhere else. But I do know that Goethe called for "more light" so that he could better appreciate what he was eating.

Bunyip - you will never assimilate me, mate.

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Quokka mutters...

Posted May 12, 2013

Nup. Paniyiri is on next weekend in Brisvegas, PNB. At which point the entire city will turn out in Musgrave Park to enact your philosophy and swill ouzo slurpees.

too bad you aren't here to partake of the madness.

Yassou!

damian mutters...

Posted May 12, 2013

I celebrated Paniyiri early by making a killer yogurt and garlic sauce to go with green salad and BBQ chicken thighs for Ildi, hamburger "steakettes" on turkish buns for me, Friday night.

Brother PorkChop asserts...

Posted May 13, 2013

Mmmmm.... honey puffs.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted May 13, 2013

Auntie Q: I wish I were there to partake in the neo helenic madness. I am willing to bet real money that I could and would be intrumental in redefining the madness. Yassou bravo!

Damian or Aunti Q (or Greybeard, for that matter): Please life an ouzo slurpee high and say very loud "for Prof. Boylan!" before attempting to drink it all in one go. Do that for me. I don't care if you succeed. The attempt is enough.

damian has opinions thus...

Posted May 15, 2013

So I here that Paniyiri is run by Channel Seven these days. Apparently there will be celebrity honey puff eating contests full of Channel Seven "celebrities". I'm afraid my intinctive reaction to this year's Paniyiri therefore is want to nuke the site from orbit - it's the only way to be sure.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 13, 2013

So sorry. "life" = "lift." It is Mother's Day here in seppoland, and I've been drinking mimosas with the mother of my only son, and, consequently, my cognative - if not mechanical - skills are compromised. And it feels great. Fuck typographical errors.

Barnesm ducks in to say...

Posted May 13, 2013

Hell yeah, happy Mothers day to all the mothers out there.

NBlob asserts...

Posted May 14, 2013

?I may be a one trick pony, but its a great trick; buy 2 kilos of the best prawn I can find & 2 bunches of flowers, divide into two equal parts, deliver one to my mum and one to SWMBO. Walk away feeling insufferably smug.

w from brisbane mutters...

Posted May 14, 2013

A fragrant gift.

Darth Greybeard has opinions thus...

Posted May 14, 2013

NBlob often carries a packet of prawns around, sometimes for several days at a time. There are those who say that it's an improvement.

damian has opinions thus...

Posted May 14, 2013

On the actual morning, Woollies in Ipswich had bunches of chrysanthemums for $5 each (ie, half price), so I bought all they had left. We ended up splitting this 5 ways, because sometimes that's the right way for it to be.

Prawns, however, are a gift that keeps giving long after the event.

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Respond to 'The Oxford Street Tart'

Pig Night Out

Posted May 4, 2013 into Food & Drink by John Birmingham

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a pack of hefty blokes in possession of a good appetite must be in want of a pork fest. Unconscionably protracted in the planning, painfully abridged in the execution, our night of the suckling pig drew together such a team of these greedy yahoos that its like will ne’er be seen again.

The Night of the Pig was a mission from God. A magnificent obsession. Out there with mad Cap’n Ahab’s hunt for the great white whale or the Man of La Mancha’s crazed charges against enemy windmills. And Don Quixote de la Mancha is no gratuitous classical reference cast like a cultured pearl before you beery swine. Well, actually it is. But it segues really nicely into a consideration of Don Quixote’s House of the Suckling Pig, the centre of the pork-loving universe. Familiar to generations of Sydney movie-goers through its cheap, scratchy, Whitlam-era cinema ads.

The Don caught my eye when some pompous twit of a food critic swanned through to nickel and dime the joint to death. As if I give a fuck about the lack of radicchio and tiramisu. For me, the kicker from that review was the clear impression given that these guys could supply you with more pork than you could possibly eat.

Oh baby, I salivated quietly, racking gut cramps here I come.

My original plan called for twelve good men and true to repair to the The Don’s place to stuff themselves insensible on hot, salty pork while drinking so much Mexican beer that someone would accidentally get a tattoo and join the merchant navy And with but one exception every red-blooded son of Anzac I approached felt as I did, to the universal horror of their girlfriends and heart surgeons, whose eyes bulged at the thought of them gorging on pork until they could gorge no more.

Their neediness was even a little scary. One, a lawyer for a multinational arms conglomerate, suggested hiring a private room where we could eat naked whilst dusky serving wenches scurried hither and yon with tape measures to track the expansion of our waistlines: first to enlarge himself by 20 per cent to win.

As word spread through the city hopeful pig brothers appeared from all corners wanting a piece of the action. Captain Barnes, flew up from Melbourne, avowing that he wouldn’t be happy until his fingertips turned grey from restricted blood circulation due to the massive quantities of hog fat congealing in his bloodstream. Sadly we were to be undone by our own appetites.

Meeting in the Century Tavern above Hungry Jack’s in George Street, we discovered that despite brave words to the contrary the women in our lives had not organised some counter pig night (or Teste-Fest ’98 as one dubbed it). A picnic at Shakespeare in the Park had been mooted. Or a Jane Austen video binge. But despite the tantalising prospect of organising five or six bloke-free hours together at that stupid, interminable Cloud Street play, nothing transpired. After copious hits off the Tooheys Old taps we all agreed this had something to do with girls not being good at sums.

While these weighty deliberations took place, yon editor and photographer inspected the facilities. A couple of thin tweedy-looking college boys – looked like a good fuck and some pork crackling might be the end of them–they were escorted through the voluminous kitchens by Manuel, who’s been with the restaurant for about three hundred years. They were introduced to our own specially selected porker, procured from a secret alpine breeding station, the source of The Don’s succulent white meat for three decades.

All around them other little piggies lay happily marinating in their trays or slowly roasting in the ovens, a process which can take up to six hours. Manuel became very excited by the prospect of another magazine review. His only other brush with fame was a cover story in something like Pig Breeders Monthly, a long time ago. The details are a little hazy due to many schooners of Tooheys Qld warring with the San Miguels I switched to on arrival, the chewy over bite of a cold San Mig being the only possible consort to such a repast.

With the team finally in place at the bar, our sixteen big men blocked all access to and from the body of the restaurant, drawing worried glances from the wait staff and other diners. The Don’s place presented a little like the flagship outlet of an upmarket Alamo-themed restaurant chain; lots of weathered oak and brick and, in the bar, what looked like a couple of wooden cannon bookends untainted by the merest hint of irony. It was the perfect site for an all male meat fest, but I gotta say we didn’t understand all the couples who kept arriving for what were obviously to be romantic dinners. The presence of those few Asian tourists still standing after the regional financial meltdown had sent their tinpot economies back to wholesaling sacks of guano and betel nuts was understandable. They were here by mistake. But surely the locals should know better?

Maybe it had something to do with excellent dating facilities; specifically, The Don’s dance floor on which riotously tipsy thick-waisted hipsters punished the macarena while Zorro’s great-grandson tickled the synth with all the dexterity which his famous forebear deployed in carving his mark into the chests of California’s avaricious landowners.

Waiters who hovered with offers of garlic prawns were dismissed to the kitchens with stern orders to start bringing the carcasses and to keep bringing them until our corrupt and bloated bodies lay groaning on the floor, covered in a thick greasy sheen of glistening lard and faintly creaking as the monstrous volume of meat pressed against straining ribs and taut belly skin.

I don’t think they knew what they were dealing with.

Piles of warm crusty bread rolls arrived but any of the eager juveniles who reached for them were quickly smacked back into line. A big trap for young players. Save space for the pig. The first pig which arrived was laid on the table and I do not exaggerate when I say that its bones had been sucked clean before the somewhat superfluous vegetables arrived two minutes later.

It was around about this point that Manuel, who had previously been the very picture of a genial host, became worried.

‘More pig! More pig!’ we cried. More plates arrived and were cleaned off with ferociously efficient despatch. ‘Ha ha,’ laughed Manuel nervously. ‘We normally get romantic couple in here. They don’t eat so much.’

‘More pig! More pig!’ we cried.

The waiters eyed each other anxiously and began to back away from the table. The horrible truth began to dawn on me. A special alpine breeding station. Six-hour cooking time. A restaurant full of diners all tucking into their meals while we denuded the bar.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

They were short of pig. Or, more likely, they had enough pig for a normal night but this was most assuredly not a normal night.

All joking aside Manuel,’ muttered Robbie, ‘where’s the rest of the pig, man?’

They were sweating by now. We suggested they might care to scrape the plates of the other diners whose eyes had proven too big for their bellies. I don’t know whether they did this but we were about to do it ourselves when a few more plates turned up.

And in defence of The Don let me say that this was magnificent pig. The best any of us had ever tasted. So keen was Adam Spencer for a few more scraps of its golden goodness that he and Barnes picked clean the skull of the first beast Manuel had laid before us. Eyeballs and all.

But… They were short of pig. We had broken them.

As we spilled out onto George Street a raucous argument broke out over whether we should head back to the Century to drown our sorrows and fill the empty spaces in our pig-loving hearts with Tooheys Old, or whether we should go to Hungry Jack’s first.

I think you all know which option we chose.

19 Responses to ‘Pig Night Out’

DrYobbo swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 4, 2013

Loved this when I first read it - think this opened Off One's Tits didn't it? Have eaten at said questionable Spanish joint myself, after inadvisable numbers of schooners at what I think is currently the 3 Monkeys across the street.

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted May 4, 2013

It did. I think it originally appeared in Ralph. They sent three or four of us out on epic meat challenges. One guy had to eat a whole camel haunch.

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damian has opinions thus...

Posted May 4, 2013

I'm sorry, but talking about pork and not mentioning the German Club in the first few lines made me skip the article... :P

w from brisbane asserts...

Posted May 4, 2013

Quite right, Damian. As the sign out the front says,
"Brisbane's best pork knuckle".

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Barnesm is gonna tell you...

Posted May 4, 2013

Twas indeed a magnificent pig, but all in all it was still only ONE GODDAMN PIG!

Have sought to lure JB to the famous Vlados in Melbourne for a similar meat fest.

One day perhaps.

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Abe Frellman puts forth...

Posted May 4, 2013

Vlados is on my bucket list. But first I need to drop another 30 kgs or it will kill me.

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted May 5, 2013

Maybe we should think about a Vlados meet up?

Barnesm mumbles...

Posted May 5, 2013

oh hella yeah click here

simon bedak has opinions thus...

Posted May 5, 2013

Yes. Vlados.

simon bedak is gonna tell you...

Posted May 5, 2013

Yes. Vlados.

simon bedak swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted May 5, 2013

...and no chicks.

sibeen would have you know...

Posted May 5, 2013

I haven't been to Vlados for about 10 years (sob). This does need rectification.

Therbs mutters...

Posted May 5, 2013

I remember this tale of pig. It made me hungry and has done so again.

Vlados? In Sydney we have heard of this legend. Apparently it has its own coronary ward replete with brand new hearts, top notch transplant specialists and wonderful nurses. I once asked a patron of Vlados about the experience. He cried tears of remembered joy, grabbed me by the lapels and in that fierce voice adopted by religious fanatics, made me promise to go there. I have yet to fulfil my sworn commitment.

Dilph would have you know...

Posted May 6, 2013

Ooooh. Only done Vlados once (I don't count the time I went and they weren't doing the meat platters, for obvious reasons). I recall leaving splendidly sated, and thankful for our vegetarian designated driver...

Another worthy meatfest in sunny Melbs is Jim's Greek Tavern - the most surly, uncommunicative waitstaff outside of Greece, but the souvlaki platters... oh, the souvlaki platters. And the saganaki!

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Rhino mumbles...

Posted May 5, 2013

We need one of these in the U.S. ... Boylan, Murph, McKinney, myself. Somewhere in the heartland. Yeah. I know people that hunt feral pigs. Genius, we shall do it in Atlanta. In the shade of Kennesaw Mountain amidst the ghosts of Union and Rebel soldiers.

I decree that this shall happen. So swear I in the memory of Atlanta's Scarlett O'Hara, "If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness,we well eat pig together as men."

w from brisbane is gonna tell you...

Posted May 5, 2013

"I'm very drunk and I intend on getting still drunker before this evening's over."

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Brother PorkChop would have you know...

Posted May 6, 2013

Mmmmm.... piiiiiggggg. Geat way to start the week.

I love pig in all its grilled, smoked, braised, roasted, schnitzled, luaued forms. And my eldest is a pig farmer so I get the inside story, and back copies of various pig industry magazines.

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Lulu ducks in to say...

Posted May 6, 2013

"As regularviewers of this show would know, it's not a party until somebody kills a pig." (Anthony Bourdain, 'No Reservations')

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