Cheeseburger Gothic

iToaster

Posted November 18, 2015 into Science and Tech by John Birmingham

Jony Ive's design bestie, Marc Newson, has made a toaster for Sunbeam.

As it happens, I have a toaster shaped hole in my kitchen at the moment.

Toast is the internationally recognised survival food of the writer on deadline.

I am on deadline.

This was meant to be.

11 Responses to ‘iToaster’

Surtac mutters...

Posted November 18, 2015

And I see it has a big red button. Does that make it go faster?

Rofl.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted November 18, 2015
Of course the big red button makes it toast faster. That is the turbotoast button.

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w from brisbane asserts...

Posted November 18, 2015
I see on the Sunbeam site it says that the toaster is 'Crafted to be intuitive'. I had no idea how special I've been coping up until now.

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insomniac would have you know...

Posted November 18, 2015
Did he also design the iKettle that looks like a curling stone? I know curling isn't really a go to sport(?) so there are probably about 5 people who know what they look like, but does he think he can get away with it, or is the Call of the Fruit too strong?

she_jedi has opinions thus...

Posted November 18, 2015
Ah! Curling stone! When I saw that kettle my first thought was that it looked like one of those whatchamacallits, and you solved it for me. Thank you.

GhostSwirv mutters...

Posted November 19, 2015

George Lazenby came unstuck on a curling stone - too dangerous for 007.

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she_jedi is gonna tell you...

Posted November 18, 2015
Whoa, $200 for a toaster?? How much toast do you eat?

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Surtac puts forth...

Posted November 18, 2015

Saw a real curling stone in a Toronto restaurant some years ago. (Canoe? I think that was the name ... elevated location with a good view of the city).

Tried to pick it up. It was seriously heavy. Wouldn't want to be in front of it as it slid down the ice - broken toes would be the minimum level of injury.

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NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted November 18, 2015
Link button test

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TeamAmerica ducks in to say...

Posted November 19, 2015
itoaster? Does it have wifi or nfc?

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Comparative analysis of the Rebel Alliance & US navy combat aircraft

Posted October 22, 2015 into Science and Tech by John Birmingham

Just what it says. By Eamon Hamilton

Both organisations were operating with different strategic priorities 30 years ago compared to what they are today. When Return of the Jedi hit cinemas in 1983, the Nimitz-class carriers were sailing with no less than four fixed-wing fighter/strike aircraft – the F-14 Tomcat for air superiority, the A-6 Intruder and A-7 Corsair in the strike role, and the S-3 Viking as an anti-submarine/surface warfare platform. Also operating was the EA-6B Prowler, a variation of the A-6, which was optimised for electronic attack.

Likewise, the Rebel Alliance went into the Battle for Endor with its own four dedicated strike/fighter platforms, albeit with no electronic attack variant (it seemed the Empire had the upper hand in the electronic warfare spectrum that day) [Editor’s note: or that electronic warfare just isn’t a big part of Star Wars]. Leading this charge were the T-65 X-Wing in the space superiority role, joined by fellow Yavin-veteran, the Y-Wing bomber. Also deployed were two newcomers – the high-speed A-Wing, and the B-Wing bomber, whose primary role was to attack capital ships.

It’s a safe assumption that the role of a Carrier Air Wing is much like that of the Rebel Alliance’s Starfighter squadrons fighting ‘A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away’. Fundamentally, they both need to defend a home base, and are important tools for force projection in pursuit of wider campaign objectives.

6 Responses to ‘Comparative analysis of the Rebel Alliance & US navy combat aircraft’

Lobes ducks in to say...

Posted October 22, 2015
"Force projection"

AKM. mumbles...

Posted October 23, 2015
I didn't see what you did there, but I felt it.Disturbing,

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Murphy_of_Missouri asserts...

Posted October 22, 2015
Hmm.

Is now a bad time to admit that I wrote a term paper in high school for Advanced Composition which was a comparative analysis of the Macross VF-1 Valkyrie Fighter vs the F-14 Tomcat?

If only I had kept a copy of the paper.

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Shifty Tourist would have you know...

Posted October 22, 2015
X-wings, Y-wings, whatever, all just targets for the blasters of my Advanced Tie Fighter... rebel scum!

Barnesm swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted October 23, 2015
Is that the upgraded Tie Fighter that Jason Torchinsky over at Jalopnik described the basic design as an eyeball sandwich?

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Sparty mutters...

Posted October 22, 2015
Actually Rebels do use Ion Cannons - pretty much an EMP.
Always felt the Y wing was a Bristol Blenheim and the X-Wing more your multi role Mosquito..
But I suspect for the Rebels you "got what you got" ie French Spads , I mean Corealean Y wings.
But what the Empire clearly lack is TopGun pilot training - that and playing off duty Dodge ball (rather than Volleyball) to help pilots get used to dodging things (if you can dodge a spanner you can dodge and asteroid).

I'm more worried about Viper Mk 7's / F35s having a software bug / hack that instantly leaves them vulnerable to the Cylons / Chinese

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My precioussss

Posted September 25, 2015 into Science and Tech by John Birmingham

I preordered the new shiny – 6S+, 64gig, space grey – as soon as it became available on the store app. I dips me lid to Orin for reminding me to tick the in store pick up box. I saved a day of waiting around to get carded by the courier imp, and I got to enjoy lording it over the long line of lesser sheeple who foolishly decided to try their luck on Launch Day.

It's just Thomas and I at home this weekend, the ladies having decamped for points south. I woke early, walked the hound, and we drove over to Carindale early for breakfast. The line outside the store was already stretching around the corner as we strolled past on our way to bacon and eggs (and mushrooms, and hash browns, and grilled tomato and toast and a sausage).

I find it hard to believe anyone still does this (lining up, not having big fatty breakfasts) but the line was even longer when we emerged from feasting and meandered over to EB Games to pick up a couple of titles for the school holidays. (The Witcher and a HALO collection). There was some poor woman standing at the very end of the line rocking a kid in a pram back and forth. I hope that kid's a sleeper because they're gonna be there along time.

The were only eight or nine people in the preorder line, all of them insufferably smug. Your correspondent most of all. An Apple genius moved up and down the line, offering peeled grapes and foot rubs. A few metres away, in another world, those whose fruit love had proven wholly inadequate were randomly bashed with hessian sacks full of early model Samsung tablets. I joined the back of the little queue, swiftly made my way to the fore, was greeted by a servator drone and whisked inside to procure my shiny precious. Switching up from my old 5S we swapped out the SIM and I was done.

The actual transaction, including the wait time, took seven minutes.

10 Responses to ‘My precioussss’

Nocturnalist reckons...

Posted September 25, 2015

"There was some poor woman standing at the very end of the line rocking a kid in a pram back and forth. I hope that kid's a sleeper because they're gonna be there along time."

That's an awesome character backstory. Brought to the back of an iPhone queue as an infant, growing up among the endlessly forward-shuffling consumers, learning their ways and becoming steeped in the myths of the Before Time when Jobs Himself trod the earth beneath his sneaker-clad feet. Left the only survivor after the apocalyptic arrival of the OUT OF STOCK sign, she must venture out into a strange and confronting world of demonstrably less rich user experience, to reunite her tribe into a force that can avenge their lost years and take what is rightfully theirs.

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Barnesm would have you know...

Posted September 25, 2015
I have heard the British comedian Lenny Henry describe a similar feeling of smugness when he orders a pizza over the phone but goes to pick it up.

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted September 25, 2015
This made me laugh.

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Therbs puts forth...

Posted September 25, 2015
Lots of people down here at the bureau received their pre-ordered shinies today. Meanwhile on George St outside The Store it looks like a casting call for a zed flick.

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted September 25, 2015
Did you see the robot lady?

Therbs asserts...

Posted September 28, 2015
Didn't hang around, weather was too Melbourne-esque.

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KreepyKrawly asserts...

Posted September 25, 2015
Dropping into the Telstra shop tomorrow to pick up 3 non fruity phones (1 Win and 2 Android). Wonder if they'll still be lined up...

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damian mumbles...

Posted September 25, 2015
The sack would more likely be full of returned 16GB iPhone 6's and 6S's. It is the case that if you spring for one of these, then change your mind about the "lean" thing and sensibly realise you need the 64GB*, you can swap, with the only cost being the difference in price. Well that and the price of any screen protector you might be discarding with the "old" handset. We asked what happened to the ones that were traded in... the genius insisted they are not refurbed and resold, instead they are stripped for spares or something. We really didn't need to know.
* It could happen to anyone!

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pi mutters...

Posted September 26, 2015
So tell me JB.... which device were you playing 'the witcher' on?

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MurcanDownunder reckons...

Posted September 27, 2015
- The iPhone was invented in 2007.
- iPhone 6 is released.
- Turnbull becomes sixth Prime Minister since 2007.
- Not one Prime Minister has been re-elected since the iPhone was invented.

Apple hates Australia.

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The future of war is the distant past

Posted September 24, 2015 into Science and Tech by John Birmingham

Further to my review of Ghost Fleet a while back, I came across this interesting note on Motherboard.

Last year, the Naval Academy made two distinct changes in how it operates—one that’s a natural progression in cyberwarfare, the other a clear response to how thoroughly we rely on that technology.

“First, they've created a cyberwarfare center and created the first class of midshipmen who will be cybersecurity majors,” cybersecurity and military expert Peter W. Singer recently told me. “Second, they required that every midshipman learn how to do celestial navigation like they did back in the 1700s. We're preparing both for a world of cyberwarfare and, ‘oh my goodness, what if I have to go back to navigating by the stars?’”

I can imagine a situation where even a limited war in space or cyberspace ends up trashing civilisation because we've come to rely so much on this stuff. You blow up enough sateillites, for instance, and you can forget about launching any more for hundreds of years because it's just a debris field up there.

I probably should have made more of this in AoT.

29 Responses to ‘The future of war is the distant past’

Rob mutters...

Posted September 24, 2015

The debris field is in Wall-E . The spaceship takes off and sucks its way through a myriad satellites. I liked that bit as a visual image, the reality however is really grim. High speed junk field and its the asteroid belt from Empire Strikes Back. I do like how they plan to bring the mess in space down. Lasers to move the debris and make it fall to earth and burn. Because lasers. I can just imagine the calls from the Captain when the satellites go down 'does any one here know anything about stuff? ' everyone looks at their now bricked smart phones 'No?, Ok, well we might have to go find a book on how to do stuff'. 'Do we have books on stuff?' 'the library got turned into a gaming & internet lounge, so No sir!'

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Nocturnalist mutters...

Posted September 24, 2015
It's the premise you see come up in SF every so often - all the brilliant futuristic uber-weaponry gets so good at cancelling itself out that everyone ends up jabbing each other with sharp sticks again.

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Halwes ducks in to say...

Posted September 24, 2015
I've been thinking about a concept where a human's life is credited at birth with a 90 year life span. Throughout that life though you could sell life credits back to the state for an easier existence or hedonistic pursuits. This would be, on the surface, done to conserve earth's resources. For example one life credit might get you a night with Amanda Vanstone while 50 life credits might get you a night with Elle Macpherson. You get the drift. The concept would then move on to how the rich and the state corrupt this scheme at the expense of the masses. A man wakes up at 45 and realises he's sold the next 44 already etc. My question is have I read this or seen a movie of it and then adapted it as my own like all my other "original" ideas!

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted September 24, 2015
There's a Justin Timberlake movie called 'In Time' which has a vaguely similar premise. IMDB describes it thus: "In a future where people stop aging at 25, but are engineered to live only one more year, having the means to buy your way out of the situation is a shot at immortal youth. Here, Will Salas finds himself accused of murder and on the run with a hostage - a connection that becomes an important part of the way against the system."
But your idea is original and different enough to be worth considering.

Rob reckons...

Posted September 24, 2015
THX1138 has a credit number counting down during the film. By the end of the movie, the main guys credits hit 25 after going on a non-drug crime spree. as he leaves the underground city, the cop warns him his credits have been used up and the cop can no longer help him (or pursue him)

pi swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 26, 2015
Halwes, an interesting idea, and I don't think I've ever read that as a concept in anything I've read before.

pi mumbles...

Posted September 26, 2015
Halwes, an interesting idea, and I don't think I've ever read that as a concept in anything I've read before.

What would be cool is what particular angle of the characters you might want in order to tell the story. Anti-hero? Good people? People who wind up feeling like they've been cheated? As one of the cheaters? Or as of one that was of the cheated?

If I was capable of writing a detective novel...

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Lobes has opinions thus...

Posted September 24, 2015
Further to Ghost Fleet, Ive just spent a week on Oahu during which time I was reading the book. It was a great experience being able to read chapters set in places I was visiting daily. The Outrigger Moana, Ward Street and Ka'ako Park are all much larger in my mind thanks to the confluence of holiday reading and holiday. No real corrections to report other than the fact the authors dont seem to have the surf breaks dialed in as well as they do the dry land locations.

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Murphy_of_Missouri would have you know...

Posted September 24, 2015
The U.S. Army, I believe, still makes privates learn the basics of land nav with a compass and a topo map. As one progresses in their career they get to do more such land nav without all of the high tech bells and whistles.
OTOH, we did ditch bayonet training. Go figure.

JG puts forth...

Posted September 24, 2015
Interesting idea, Halwes, if somewhat a dystopian vision. Could mix it up with notions of euthanasia, the right to live and/or die, elitism and power, human overpopulation and the strain on resources.

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Sparty puts forth...

Posted September 24, 2015
1st five minutes of the new season of Doctor Who (UK) sums up the whole "the next war will be fought with nukes, the one after, with bows and arrows" scenario perfectly.

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NBlob mumbles...

Posted September 24, 2015
RE: the orbital debris. Field understates it; bogeys are not inert on a 2 D Plane. they have vectors & inertia + two gravity wells + spin + interactions with micro debris too small to detect = Impossible to model past a very short time frame.

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spokey mutters...

Posted September 24, 2015
Which bring the question of what analog books to have on hand for when we're back to sticks and stones?

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HAVOCK21 asserts...

Posted September 24, 2015
I have kept my Melways.....what ya gunna do with no fkn sat nav!. ! Its a great read JB, not Clancy, but not fkn bad. I now have the Kindle e readerfor the Ipad. WENT FKN NUTS IN THE BOOK STORE THOUGH!

Guru Bob reckons...

Posted September 29, 2015
I've always found the Melways to be a pretty dry read myself...

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stevetheh asserts...

Posted September 24, 2015
Old school nav-by-topo saved my broken leg in a Bluies canyon.
PLB triggered at roughly same time fellow canyoner left to do walk out and called 000 with grid ref approx 1.5 hrs later.
Guess which helped chopper find me first? He was most pleased (as was I) that position was within +/- 100m (according to chopper crew).
Handy hint - if you want to be seen quickly on a bright day, use a space blanket, the scatter shows up much better to air/eyeball search than even a signal mirror.
Good to see someone else believes in proper nav skills.

dweeze mutters...

Posted September 25, 2015
Proper manual nav skills, spelling without spellcheck, arithmetic without calulators, opinions without shockjocks, talking to your (real) friends in person - I do hope that enough of us remember the basics WTSHTF.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 25, 2015
"I probably should have made more of this in AoT."

Not too late to do so.

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TexasTeaserPony reckons...

Posted September 25, 2015
What Boylan said.

NBlob is gonna tell you...

Posted September 25, 2015
Please make royalty cheque out to: Boylan, Diablo & Associates. 3 HellMouth Business Park. Davis Ca. 95618

NBlob is gonna tell you...

Posted September 25, 2015
& apropos of nothing, Yolo County? Yolo? As in You Only Live Once? Mind blown.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted September 25, 2015
Mere coincidence? Of course not.

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robW mumbles...

Posted September 25, 2015
Using a slide rule to calculate orbitals like the astronauts did on Apollo 13: Now there's a lost skill set.

insomniac mutters...

Posted September 25, 2015
While I think I could manage to navigate my way round on Earth with a compass if necessary, I would be toast if I was out in space with only a slide rule.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 25, 2015
Depending on the slide rule you have, you would be in fine shape. I bought me a really cool digital slide rule with amazing battery life - just in case civilization crumbles and we can't use computers.

w from brisbane asserts...

Posted September 25, 2015
That's right about the slide rule and space travel, because at work Astronaut Larry Hagman used sometimes get the slide ruler out on I Dream of Jeannie.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted September 26, 2015
There is a really terrific B sci fi film called Queen of Blood (starring John Saxon, so it must be good) that came out in 1966 with this initial IMDB description:

The year is 1990. An alien species makes contact with Earth through
radio transmission, notifying of an imminent visit. Alien ship crash
lands on Mars, and a rescue team is sent out from Earth.


After blast off, and off the cuff, the astronauts do all the math necessary to get to Mars using a slid rule, paper and pencil.

Such wonderful child-like optimism. Even though the alien woman ends up eating all of them during the flight back to earth. But their math was spot on.

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HAVOCK21 asserts...

Posted September 26, 2015
Volkswagen Vehicles are being fastly adopted by Military s all over the world. The VW leaves behind a think particle bloom as a result of its HIGH and UNLAWFUL level of emissions, this masks things in the bloom from IR/Thermal imagining. They are still trying to work out though, how to stop the HIGH emission levels from killing shit in the masked plume

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damian is gonna tell you...

Posted September 29, 2015
Actually I've an issue with characterising celestial navigation as a thing of the "distant past". It's like when people refer to "ancient times" and you discover they actually mean the Victorian era. Celestial navigation only emerged as useful a method to determine longitude in the late 18th century, about the time the invention of accurate clocks made it redundant. A cheap Casio watch and a stash of batteries for it would serve pretty well (though I suppose to be fair the sun shots you need to take to make use of this look like "celestial" navigation to the uninitiated). The other thing you need is a nautical almanac and ephemeris covering the time period in which they are to be useful for navigation or a computer with software that takes the place of both.
All forms of pre-GPS navigation are useful skills for seaman officers anyway and I'd be really surprised that any significant navy ever stopped teaching them. From landmark bearings in coastal navigation through to "moons of Jupiter", there is knowledge about position and the forces acting on it that you need to have to be the responsible adult in charge of a vessel larger than a houseboat on Lake Eildon.

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Short lived Peace

Posted September 19, 2015 into Science and Tech by John Birmingham

I bought a copy of Marco Arment's ad blocking app/extension yesterday, partly out of curiosity, partly to support Arment, who is a developer worth supporting. It worked brilliantly, stripping the banners right out of the Cheeseburger and, more importantly, massively speeding up the news sites I read.

Of course, the Burger doesn't rely on ad revenue. Those banners are more of a design element than a commercial feature, but a lot of the sites I like to visit, and some I work for, do live and die by their ads.

Arment famously withdrew his app, called Peace, from sale after it shot to No. 1 on the App Store, thereby doing himself out of significant revenue. But he said he just didn't feel right about profiting from annihilating other people's profits.

I'll probably keep running Peace, but will white list those sites I want to support. In the medium term though, the industry is going to need a better model than burying visitors in shitty ads. I suspect it'll accelerate the market shake out, resulting in a two tier publishing industry divided between megasaurs like Buzzfeed and NYT, and smaller boutique operations like Daring Fireball and Jason Snell's Six Colors (which I've also whitelisted).

23 Responses to ‘Short lived Peace’

beeso swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 19, 2015
I'm seeing a lot of stuff on Twitter saying anyone who runs an ad blocker is a (insert insult) and that we should all just suck it up.
For Australians there is a great analogy. Taxis. For years they have had crap service, gouging practices but because there was no way to fight back we just had to wear it. But Uber comes along and rather than using it as a chance to accelerate reform and become taxi 2.0, they cling to what they had and ignore the people that provide them with an existence.
Ad blockers wouldn't exist if publishers had control over their sites and didn't do shitty things like pop ups, auto play video and the like. Ghostery has topped out at 23 trackers and ad networks on some sites I visit and I long ago gave up on places like the verge and imore because of the way they run their sites.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted September 19, 2015
This is very bad for people like me who enjoy reading the ads Peace blocks. Sometimes ads are all I read when I access a website looking for something other than ads.

Ads are truly fascinating. They provide a powerful insight into the true nature of our civilization - the good, the bad and the ugly.

I find especially fascinating the interwebs' ability to tailor ads directed specifically at me, including prices that are different from what someone else might be charged for the same product or service.

And now, thanks to apps like Peace, this sparkling, swirling kaleidoscope of awfulness where desperation, hope and evil compete for dominance may come to an end.

And it is all totally free. You never have to spend a penny to enjoy the show.

I guess nothing lasts forever.

NBlob reckons...

Posted September 19, 2015
I'd love to know the ratio between creatives creating content because that's their job & they like having a house and children with shoes. : Commercial creatives creating promotion for product / service X. : Hobbyists like friends who are into Photography &/or fanfic. 3:5:10 ?

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spokey is gonna tell you...

Posted September 19, 2015
I block ads because the only time I've copped malware is via ad buffoonery. I also can't stand the take over page, auto play videos and the bandwidth that dwarfs the actual content. Clean that shit up and I whitelist the page.

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w from brisbane has opinions thus...

Posted September 20, 2015
A bit of an odd decision by Arment to pull the app. Marco Arment is obviously a smart and financially aware techo person. He's 33, so not young. Very recently he was strongly defending ad blocking. Now this sudden decision. He may of just changed his mind, but the obvious reading is that maybe he got a better offer.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan puts forth...

Posted September 21, 2015
"He's 33, so not young."

33 is fucking young looking down from where I stand.

Rob mutters...

Posted September 21, 2015

Jesus was the messiah at 33. I hadn't achieved anything by the time I was 33.

w from brisbane has opinions thus...

Posted September 21, 2015
Alexander the Great didn't even make 33. Though he was a chap who liked to keep busy.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted September 21, 2015
Oh yeah? Well, it took Goethe over 60 years to write Faust (part 1 and 2).

w from brisbane mumbles...

Posted September 21, 2015
Yeah well, Goethe was a lawyer so he was probably charging by the hour :)

NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted September 21, 2015
Jealousy. Such a cheap motive.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted September 22, 2015
What is wrong with a cheap motive? In any comparison cheap motives have greater value than expensive ones. For example, personal honor, as a motive for behavior, always costs more than it is worth.


NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted September 22, 2015
The mark-up on retail altruism is obscene.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted September 22, 2015
I get mine wholesale. I know a a guy who knows a guy. And, when it is reasonably hygienic to do so, I keep my ear to the ground listening for signs of a bargain on any of Franklin's 13 Virtues. Just the other day I scored some humility for pennies on the dollar. Am I good, or what?

NBlob would have you know...

Posted September 22, 2015
1st I've heard of Ben's 13 virtues. With planning & effort I could probably do the majority, individually, momentarily, annually.

insomniac has opinions thus...

Posted September 22, 2015
PNB, are you sure the humility was fresh? because it doesn't appear to be working. Humility that cheap, while a bargain, is probably well past it's use by date. Did you give it the sniff test? Fresh humility should smell a little like short crust pastry.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan is gonna tell you...

Posted September 23, 2015
Yeah, but fresh humility is always more trouble than it is worth and very, very difficult to wash off when it makes a mess. Humility is like a piece of beef fillet. As it ages, it dries up, gets darker, breaks down and is easier to digest. And, like aged beef, older humility has a higher resale value on the open market. Look at all those robber barons who acquired huge fortunes when they were young, ruthless and hubristic who, as very, very wealthy old men, say "it was nothing; I got lucky." Totally charming.

And, in all honesty (truthfulness is a very expensive virtue, by the way, no matter where you find it, and almost impossible to hold without constant maintenance) old humility smells better than new humility, which has the tendency to smell like baby poop - and not the good kind.

dweeze puts forth...

Posted September 23, 2015
Yeh, we got one of those robber barons as our new PM. Totally humble and all. He's even used the "I got lucky" line. If he wants ads blocked, he just buys the ISP. However, I'm not sure if he's quite rich enough to buy 100% truthfullness...the Dalai Lama doesnt seem to be on sale.

NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted September 23, 2015
I'd guess His Holiness' price would 1 x Tibet.

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Blarkon mutters...

Posted September 21, 2015
These dotcom fuckers scream "get a better business model you buggy whip manufacturers" when they wipe someone else out with a bit of technology. Start taking their pie and suddenly regulation is the solution to everything.

You fuckers started this race to the bottom. You fuckers were happy to watch the music industry burn. You were happy to wipe out other peoples jobs. Shanden-fucking-freud.

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Rob has opinions thus...

Posted September 22, 2015
The thing I can't stand about adverts on the web, is how terrible they are , and how utterly badly targeted they are. Its one part broad brush with spamming nonsense, about 5 tips for a flat belly and fake products that do not work. Or its the same old shit advertisers and agencies have always done, huge Monopolies that do not need to advertise. This includes governments. If you dare say that perhaps advertising is a crock of shit and doesn't work for the ad buyer or the public who consume them then you are considered a heathen. If advertising worked , we would be fat and thin, non-smoking, smoking, ice recovering, don't get AIDS, be nice, don't beat up your wife or partner. Vote for that guy or this guy. Of course Advertising gurus and agencies will say Ok that campaign didn't work, but the general vibe is working man.

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Raymond Camden mumbles...

Posted September 22, 2015
As someone who runs a blog with ads, I bought Peace the second I could. I run simple banner ads, but the freaking popovers, interstitials, and other crap has made mobile browsing a hit or miss affair. Peace worked great, but I asked for a refund. I totally support him changing his mind, but if the app isn't going to be updated in the future than I'd rather just switch to another app.

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All the shiny

Posted September 10, 2015 into Science and Tech by John Birmingham

I know that my publishers sometimes sneak around in here checking up on me, so I give them fair warning; after watching the Apple keynote this morning I'm going to need bigger advances and fatter royalty rates. Much fatter. Because I’m buying all the things.

I stuck with my old iPhone 5S for two years, and it's starting to feel its age, especially the last few hours. I think there are a coupla gremlins in the iCloud dungeons, possibly shakin' ass to Apple Music. A clean install on a nice new shiny hyper expensive phone should sort that right out.

I'll be going with the 64 gig 6S+. I don't make that many phone calls on my handset and those I do tend to be on speakerphone at my desk. I do read, though. A lot. And I often have to do last-minute edits to columns and blogs, which is kind of a pain on a relatively small screen when I'm away from my office. So the big arse phone it is.

I'm currently rocking an iPad 4, and I have zero complaints about it, other than it not being an iPad Pro. I skipped the Air and Air2 because although they're beautiful looking tablets, and ridiculously overpowered, I simply didn't need them for media consumption, which is about three quarters of what I do on the pad.

I have done some creative work on the iPad, especially on the road, but until now there was no iPad which could match even a base level MacBook Air for content creation. I know that's heresy, but it's also true. It's a hundred little things, from lack of split screening to individual software quirks. Example? When I'm composing a blog post in iOS I can't scroll all the way through the text box in the back end of the Cheeseburger. I could get Dan to dive into the code and sort that out, but I've never bothered. I doubt IOS 9 will magically solve that particular issue, but it will solve dozens of other niggling problems that made working on the iPad less productive than using a laptop or desktop machine. I can see myself working on it now.

So, 64 gig iPad Pro with the lovely keyboard they stole from Microsoft's Surface, and the $99 Apple Pencil. This last is what I'm really looking forward to. From what I've seen of the demos online it's the first input device – don't call it a stylus, damn you – to ship with genuine palm rejection. It should turn the pad into a proper tablet for handwriting. Even having the ability to sign contracts without having to open them in a third party app like some sort of animal is worth the lazy hunnert they're asking.

And Apple TV? Are you fucking kidding me? TAKE MY MONEY NOW, TIM! The remote alone is reason enough to upgrade.

12 Responses to ‘All the shiny’

Mayhem's Mum puts forth...

Posted September 10, 2015
One has had quite enough of Mr Cook's IOS updates. Indubitably every second update renders one's internet speed as whiny and slow as a kicked dog. It surprises me not that my Lord and Master Greybeard (Keeper of the Torch, Fixer of Techy Things, Windows Guru) has resisted the lure of the Apple. And rightly so. I would opine that Apple would glean more custom if they were to focus on the functionality of their OS's instead of polishing their Man Bling and calling it an update.

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted September 10, 2015
Mmmm. Man Bling.

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Blarkon has opinions thus...

Posted September 10, 2015
Imagine if they had these things on sale the moment the presentation finished. Not a moment to question whether or not you need it. Simply BUY and it turns up tomorrow before that part of your mind that says "you probably don't need this" kicks in.

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted September 10, 2015
That part of my mind never kicks in.

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Rob puts forth...

Posted September 10, 2015
I have apple envy this week. My boys bought me a BB-8 droid this week, and the android app didn't work with my HTC, so I bought a Sony and it didn't work on that either. It did work on the Motorola, so I have to borrow my sons phone to play with my new Droid. Apparently with an apple app...it works straight out the box. Curses.

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DarrenBloomfield mutters...

Posted September 10, 2015
Consistent with my rampant frugality - of skipping every second update, i will leap from 5S to 6S. Will the pencil work on an Ipad Air 2? I have a work-supplied one.

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Bangar mutters...

Posted September 10, 2015
You wouldn't believe the stick I got for having a Dell Streak. The refrain was usually "Why do you need a phone that big?" Thank you all for joining me in agreeing a smart phone works better with a bigger screen ;)

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HAL 9000 would have you know...

Posted September 10, 2015
All I can say is 'Vienna', as in - 'This means nothing to meeee....'

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OTR is gonna tell you...

Posted September 11, 2015
JB you can save yourself USD 100 by not buying the Church of Appletology's new styl...um......pencil. The word stylus was, of course, removed from the book of Applenetics by the late, great L. Ron Jobs.

Any of the pencils at your desk, as in the ones in front of you, right now, as you read this, will do the job.

Already proven.

Apologies for the sarcasm - I'm just nauseated by the stores popping up everywhere as if McDonald's (at least in the US) and the growing wild-eyed fervour of too many users.

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Rhino ducks in to say...

Posted September 12, 2015
Yeah ... have an iPad Air. That will be handed down in November as soon as the Pro is available.
BY ALL THAT IS HOLY I WILL HAVE ALL OF THE SHINY ACCOUTERMENTS AS WELL!
SO SAYS RHINO!

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damian would have you know...

Posted September 13, 2015
I've always thought the tablet becomes really useful and is maybe a laptop replacement when it's the size of an A4 sheet. That would be approx. 14" in screen-size-speak, so this is an almost thing. Not far off, but, and I'm sure with bezel it's already more.

TeamAmerica swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted September 13, 2015
@Damian- Aren't there already convertible laptops that have large screens?

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