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The Return of the Ruddbot

Posted June 28, 2013 into Blunty by John Birmingham

A spare Blunty I knocked up after the ALP's shennanigans took all the air out of my Edward Snowden piece.

Everyone had thought the movie was over, but in the very last act, when all seemed lost, rising from the smoking rubble, twisted steel girders falling and crashing all around the flame scarred mono-bonded carbon armour of its outer plating, the Ruddbot spooled up its fusion stacks, threw off the last clinging ant-like warriors of the Usurper Queen and bellowed its war shout.

"Must toodle-oo! Coming Albo?"

Unsurprisingly, some commenters can't help themselves and simply had to let their humourless inner gimp off the leash.

26 Responses to ‘The Return of the Ruddbot’

FormerlyKnownAsSimon mutters...

Posted June 28, 2013

Oh dear dog. The list of parallels to public figures is endless. Endless i tells ya! I'd like to take a shot but for fear of a possible libel suit i think i will just toy with it in my mind.

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Lulu would have you know...

Posted June 28, 2013

I'd move to Queensland just so I could vote against the treacherous, sanctimonious little sh!t.

Lulu asserts...

Posted June 28, 2013

To clarify: I meant Rudd not our esteemed host JB.

Rob mumbles...

Posted June 28, 2013

If you move to Qld you can probably kill two birds with one stone. Vote against Rudd and sneak into JB's pool for a swim. Everyone loves double prizes.

Conspiracy Cat would have you know...

Posted June 29, 2013

No, Lulu, don't listen to him! You do NOT want to swim in JB's pool. At least, not until he figures out how to remove the port-wine-jelly stains. And the goat.

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NBlob swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 28, 2013

2 words. Huzz & Zah.

Disregard the petty sniping from those so called Booker Prize judges. You sir are an artist. Perhaps the greatest artist of our time. The delicate counterpoint achieved by extracting urine, PoMo references and dancing around the pyre of irony. Delicous.

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BigWillieStyle swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 28, 2013

I slept in this morning. Is Rudd the PM today? So fucken hard to keep track these days.

Surely there's a phalanx of ALP pointy-head types hunched over in a bunker somewhere studying polling numbers? Adam Scott seems to be pretty popular these days. I think the 5,714 Hemsworth brothers are travelling quite well too. Mel from Kochie n' Mel needs a new gig.

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pi ducks in to say...

Posted June 28, 2013

That kerthunking sound you keep hearing is the sound of bricks being shat.

I honestly believe that Tony Abbott is the Mark Latham of the liberals. The people who'd vote for him will never vote for anyone else, but there are some people, for whatever reason, would have chosen him over Gillard. Now that the Ruddbot is back, people will start feeling all the sunshine and light that only this particular ferverance will allow.

Now... I've got to zip, but I'll be back later...

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Shifty Tourist swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 28, 2013

Just can't believe how many times the ALP can commit electoral suicide during two terms in office.... ditching Rudd in the first place was a huge mistake, Gillard was always going to struggle being under the cloud of "the assassination" of KRudd. The only way she was ever going to gain legitimacy was by winning big in the following election.... but she didn't of course.... partly because of Rudd, but also partly because the ALP couldn't get their shite together.... also because Gillards entire communications team needed to be fed to the sharks.... or fired, whichever is the more apprioprate in the circumstances. How any communications team can think that coming out and saying she hadn't been "the real Julia" in the middle of an election.... I almost screamed... have these people never worked in communications before?

That was not the first, nor the last act of political footshooting. Then they go back to Rudd.... who, will probably get a bump in the polls, hey he could probably win the election.... but only if it were held in the next two weeks.... after that people will realise, hey, the ALP are so disfunctional they've just changed leaders again, I'm glad the righted the wrong against Rudd, now... where do I found Abbotts name on this ballot box?

Stupidity.... Before this the ALP were committing slow suicide by living a hard and fast lifestyle, cigarettes, booze, sex drugs and rock and roll. But this is suicide by arsenic!!!

In my humble, inexpert opinon of course.

Shifty Tourist ducks in to say...

Posted June 28, 2013

Just to get in before any possible pendants who might be lurking;

I realise voters don't elect a PM directly

And I meant ballot paper, and ballot box.

Oh and grammer and spelling arn't my thing.

Darth Greybeard mutters...

Posted June 28, 2013

Is there anything else you'd like to confess my son? Everything here is subject to the seal of the derisional and will never be repeated. Trust me, I have one of those robe thingies and a funny hat.

Shiftytouristfromthefuture has opinions thus...

Posted June 28, 2013

NOOOOOOOOOOO!

w from brisbane mumbles...

Posted June 28, 2013

Too late, Mr. Shifty 'Nickleback' Tourist.

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Shifty Tourist would have you know...

Posted June 28, 2013

Thanks Greybeard...

I think I also once bought a Nickleback album... their song "How You Remind Me" was THE only song that really understood my pain.

Wow, I feel so much better now. If anybody found that out I'd be REALLY screwed.

insomniac puts forth...

Posted June 28, 2013

Don't worry. It's been recorded and triangulated, and someone, somewhere is just reaching for the phone to give WikiLeaks a call

Shifty Tourist asserts...

Posted June 28, 2013

But.. but... he said the confession was protected by the seal of the derisional, so ..... hang on.... derisional... oh shit... I see what he did there, GREYBEARD!!!! (shakes fist)

NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted June 28, 2013

With him it's the triple crown of derisional, decrepit & more than a little delusional.

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yankeedog ducks in to say...

Posted June 28, 2013

Ruddsie's back! We kept your chair warm for you!

Shifty Tourist asserts...

Posted June 28, 2013

Unconfirmed reports (in other words made up) say he his first words to caucus on being reappointed were "as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted"

pi puts forth...

Posted June 28, 2013

That's gold Shifty.

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MickH swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 28, 2013

I'm still chuckling over Greybeards "Gina the Hutt' comment

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damian ducks in to say...

Posted June 28, 2013

Read it this morning and loved it, but didn't have time to comment and couldn't stick around to join in the fun. Nice, and I especially liked the graphic. Having determined that I'd be listening to nothing but Liszt 'cello sonatas from now till the election, and in the case of what seemed like the inevitable despair-inducing result, several years afterward, I find now that this will be an interesting election after all.

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damian would have you know...

Posted June 28, 2013

Read it this morning and loved it, but didn't have time to comment and couldn't stick around to join in the fun. Nice, and I especially liked the graphic. Having determined that I'd be listening to nothing but Liszt 'cello sonatas from now till the election, and in the case of what seemed like the inevitable despair-inducing result, several years afterward, I find now that this will be an interesting election after all.

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andyf is gonna tell you...

Posted June 29, 2013

you have to help us at this point o jb.

which faction is the evil Thatcherite one?

damian swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 29, 2013

The current leader of the opposition, Tony Abbot, is a non-ideological social conservative who is aligned with the Thatcher-like right of the conservative movement in Australia. While he doesn't appear to have a personal position on economics, he clearly hangs with business types and has a tendency not to understand that things might exist outside of a mainstream context where people are making money from it. Hence for instance his recently much-publicised remark that Malcolm Turnbull "virtually invented" the internet in Australia.

What Turnbull actually did was invest in an internet company during the 90s tech boom, and the fact he made quite a bit of money doing so made "the internet" respectable for some conservative business types (while Australia actually innovates and invents stuff "above its weight", Australian business traditionally is extremely suspicious of innovation compared to almost anywhere else... something must already be proved in the USA before the rusted-on investors will consider it). The internet in Australia, of course, was built by the universities without the co-operation of the monopoly telecom provider, who was the recipient of largesse when the government of the time turned this infrastructure over to it with the intent it should be made profitable "somehow".

Arguably Turnbull himself, who is currently the opposition communications spokesman, is more a classic Thatcherite economic neo-liberal. However he happens to be a social liberal too, so he both appeals to the Australian left to whom he seems less extremist than Abbott, and fails to convince the unpleasant social conservatives that Australia has in as much abundance as anywhere, possibly more so as you might note from some of the press around the sexist treatment of Australia's first female PM over the last 3 years. Rudd is ALP-right but not far from centre, probably more like Tony Blair than any Aus politician at the moment. The recently deposed Gillard and the new deputy PM Albanese are ALP left by background, though both position (or positioned) themselves as centrist reformers. Albanese made a rather wonderful statement in the middle of another leadship challenge a few months ago to the effect that he wished this stuff would all go away because "I just want to fight Tories. That's what I do". There is an equally wonderful cartoon of Albanese with this statement available on a t-shirt... Personally, I'd love to see Albo as PM and I hope he will be one day.

That's a moderately partisan telling, but should be as good a breifing as you might expect...

w from brisbane would have you know...

Posted June 29, 2013

That is very good, damian.

And Rudd is an economic and social conservative, but with a strong social justice ethic.

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