Cheeseburger Gothic

"I am the very model of a modern muddled Admiral!"

Posted January 21, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

This took a surprisingly long time to write last night. And I got nowhere near ironing out the rhythm.

Worth it, but.

At Blunty.

11 Responses to ‘"I am the very model of a modern muddled Admiral!"’

Darth Greybeard ducks in to say...

Posted January 21, 2014

When I was a lad I served a term
As office boy to an Attorney's firm.
I cleaned the windows and I helped the dross
And I polished up the knob of the Bishop’s boss

(He polished up the knob of the Bishop’s boss)

I polished up that knob so carefullee
That now I am the Ruler of the Abbott's Navee!

(He polished up that knob so carefullee,
That now he is the ruler of the Abbott's Navee!)

Of dog-whistling knowledge I acquired such a grip.

That he took me into the Ministership.

And that Ministership, for which I was keen,
Was the only ship that I ever had seen.

(Was the only ship that he ever had seen.)

But that kind of ship so suited me,
That now I am the ruler of the Abbott's Navee!

(But that kind of ship so suited he,
That now he is the ruler of the Abbott's Navee!)

I grew so vile that I was sent
By a racist Shire into Parliament.
I always voted at my party's call,
And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.

(He never thought of thinking for himself at all.)

I thought so little, they rewarded me
By making me the Ruler of the Abbott's Navee!

(He thought so little, they rewarded he
By making him the Ruler of the Abbott's Navee!)

Now Tories all, whoever you may be,
If you want to rise to the top of the tree,
If your soul is blacker than the devil’s stool,
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule.

(Be careful to be guided by this golden rule.)

Stick close to your desks and never go to sea,
And you all may be rulers of the Abbott's Navee!

(Stick close to your desks and never go to sea,
And you all may be rulers of the Abbott's Navee!)

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Respond to this comment

Darth Greybeard ducks in to say...

Posted January 21, 2014

Wow. Very cut and paste! So Word not friendly.

w from brisbane would have you know...

Posted January 21, 2014

It appeared on the blog decked with code absurd.
He never should of pasted it from Microsoft Word.

Oh crap! Now I'm doing it. Bloody Birmingham!
Very good though, Greybeard.

Respond to this thread

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted January 21, 2014

Nope. 'Fraid not. Great poem but.

Respond to this comment

sangfroid reckons...

Posted January 21, 2014

JB, that made my day, your best ever me thinks. Still chuckling hours later.

Thankyou.

Respond to this comment

NBlob mutters...

Posted January 21, 2014

test

NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted January 21, 2014

Derpy little trolls from the right are we,

Doubting the veracity,

Of Man Made or Anthropogenic CC,

Parroting the squarks of Jo-onsey

Gulping down the Neocons version of liberty

While fearing mariage equality

Not wanting to share Aussie Bounty

Or wanting the persecuted to be free.

FK it. It started off being fun, now its just drepressing me

Dino not to be confused with would have you know...

Posted January 21, 2014

Fear not NBlob,

I have commenced imbibing a legendary libation which loosens loquasciosness(Side effect on speeling and motor skills) and will, once fully loaded, respond to the little louses sucking the life blood of ink from the Hallowd grounds of da Blunty.

Soon as I finish the dishes too.

Gotta finish the dishes before SWMBO gets home.

FK what time i=s it?

Respond to this thread

Jbtoo asserts...

Posted January 21, 2014

I do like your work sir

Respond to this comment

Spanner swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted January 21, 2014

My fav communter was the dude who want factual accuracy from a satirical Gilbert & Sullivan song.

Respond to this comment

damian has opinions thus...

Posted January 23, 2014

Very nicely done, Birmo and Greybeard both.

But sigh, I can't even read the comments over at blunty now, not once Derpy McDerp has shown his face. The stupid is too intense, and I despair for the human species. It's an affront to the memory of all the brilliant people who have died too early that such folk live and continue to live.

Maybe The Affront is a good name for the modern right. It could even be what Banks had in mind with that in the first place.

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