Cheeseburger Gothic

Sometimes satire isn't meant to be funny

Posted February 20, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Today is one of those days.

Dateline. Canberra.

Champagne corks popped and streamers flew here yesterday, as Government supporters celebrated the violent death of an Iranian man at the Arse End Island Prison Camp. Regime pimps and spokesholes partied into the night after word was received that hired goons had killed the man who once had a name and people who loved him, and who, in a delicious irony, had been fleeing another violent and oppressive regime and really was just hoping hoping to start a new life somewhere that sort of thing didn’t happen.

At Blunty.

21 Responses to ‘Sometimes satire isn't meant to be funny’

Jbtoo has opinions thus...

Posted February 20, 2014

In the spirit of Jonathan Swift

Respond to this comment

BigWillieStyle asserts...

Posted February 20, 2014

John, I'll be astounded if today's Blunty gets more than a dozen comments.

* coughs *

Respond to this comment

insomniac reckons...

Posted February 20, 2014

the derp is already overwhelming

Respond to this comment

HAVOCK21 would have you know...

Posted February 20, 2014

Hmmm, cannot seem to login to Blunty today, some shit about security certificates and god knows what, so I’ll post here JB for a re-paste if you would be so kind Sir!

Concentration camp has been mentioned, or somebody here abouts requesting that we provide the definition of, I would wager so as to be able to lay that tag on MANNNNNNNUS. Well how about we send them to Paris ISLAND instead.

Actually, I’m still struggling with the view that we simply LET ANYBODY IN! it’s a case of the fkn dooo gooders saying we should be kind, let them in, let them roam etc etc etc and FKN ETC! And like always, they have no answer for HOW do we control it, keep tabs, vet them etc. Its simply toooo fkn easy to say what you are doing is wrong, its MUCH FKN HARDER TO SAY NO AND COME UP WITH SOMETHING WHICH A LOT WONT LIKE BUT AGAIN!!! ITS FJKN ERRING ON THE SIDE OF FKN CAUTION. BUT AGAIN HALF THE FKN AIR THOIEVING FKN RETARDS WOULD NOT KNOW THAT AND WOULD BE PSISSING THEMSELVES IN THE FKN CORNER WHEN IT TURNS TO CUSTARD!!!

Yes, having a holding facility is not ideal……..but what, you would rather piut tem all up in condos at BYRON BAY…or the GOLD COAST…..or MALOOOOLAFKN BAR!. OH NO……..see how ya like it when they are all fkn roaming about your tree higging dope smoking surfin fkn not working eating lentils neck of the fkn woooods!


Here is a thought!, if the DETENTION CAMPS are NOT what you like, then…DON’T FKN COME HERE ILLEGALLY! And guess what!, you wont be locked up for ILLEGALLY TRYING TO ENTER THE COUNTRY!

Lulu is gonna tell you...

Posted February 20, 2014

"Its simply toooo fkn easy to say what you are doing is wrong, its MUCH FKN HARDER TO SAY NO AND COME UP WITH SOMETHING"

Yeah, kind of like the LNP's journey from Opposition to Govt.

HAVOCK21 has opinions thus...

Posted February 20, 2014

Both sides were tripping over themselves to show the Australian Public just how good and tough they would be, to be honest, I’m not really interested in the political side of this. Politicians will always favour what they perceive to be in their own best interests and I’m sure you will agree to some extent.

What is an issue is that people think, they may come here illegally. Yes, I know, some are genuine refugee’s, but like all vetting, you much hold the inbound goods or materials until you are sure its what you wish to let through. If something untoward gets through and then, you detect it was present, it’s so much harder to remove. Bigger issues around general customs requirements with massive economic impacts could surface.

I’m not one for keeping people in bad conditions, I’m also not one for people to be mistreated, but we cannot do anything. Borders must be patrolled, persons entering must do so by the right method and we have to have places to hold them whilst we sort out what’s going on.

And there ls one of the issues, whilst we sort out the sheep from the stray wolf in the mob things are turning to custard. That’s a product of the speed with which we are processing these people, its also a contributing factor to their state of mind, the manner in which they treat our staff and also how the behave.

No matter which gummit is in power, they need to resource and manage the department which is processing these people and be held to account for the length on time they are held. I’m not going to propose a limit on the time, that’s daft, but their needs to be some rather clear and transparent metrics on this and when they are being breached, we can scream blue murder. I’m not convinced that we have adequately resourced the departments in the correct area. That’s making gummit bigger and yes, I do cringe at the thought, but they simply need to be assessed faster and the result enforced.

Dave W swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted February 20, 2014

FK me. Havock making sense.

Yes, resource it. Yes, there has to be some way of working out who is coming in and whether they are who they say they are. I'm deeply uncomfortable with the answer being detention centres, and would prefer some kind of minimum security holiday camp type arrangement.

I am deeply, deeply, profoundly outraged that the current policy is to utilise another jurisdiction and, apparently, no prospect of settlement in Australia. That is, if not stupidly illegal, just plain immoral.

beeso mutters...

Posted February 20, 2014

Have a look at the stats of how many aren't genuine refugees once they have been processed. Then read your statement again.

Lulu ducks in to say...

Posted February 20, 2014

I was just making a general point about how the LNP behaved in opposition, not just on this issue. Abbott spent a lot of time pointing out how Labor was doing things wrong, and it was easy because he didn't actually have to fix the problem himself at that time.

Dave W reckons...

Posted February 20, 2014

Beeso, not sure what the intent of your statement is, or if it was directed to me, Havock or Lulu. However, regardless of whether 99.9% are genuine or the complete opposite, humans shouldn't treat humans this way. Hell, I don't go to zoos because I don't believe animals should be treated that way. And here we are in this situation. What a freaking mess.

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted February 20, 2014

I think he was talking to H.

damian has opinions thus...

Posted February 20, 2014

The trouble is that the department in question has form for hiring the muntiest cat munters to do these jobs, and we see activities that only make sense when you consider people's desparate need to justify their budgets. This feeds into the same department's other history of exceeding its mandate and otherwise doing stupid evil in the world.

damian ducks in to say...

Posted February 20, 2014

Also, Havsy's presenting the false dichotomy, then pretending that all the quite reasonable discussion that's been around for fucking ever never existed. And for what it's worth, anyone who can use the term "do gooder" as a derogatory label deserves to be slapped hard.

Ben mutters...

Posted February 21, 2014

I really wonder why the thought of putting refugee applicants in beachside condo's makes someone "FKN ANGRY!" It can't be the cost, because Byron Bay or Mooloolaba five star resorts would be far cheaper than Manus.

That aside, the original poster ought to do a little research, there's been plenty of discussion of alternative "processing" measures. The straightforward idea, and one which complies with the treaties Australia signed up to voluntarily, would be: short detention for security/customs checks, then community placement with a temp visa while you wait a few months for some public servants to push all the paper around. Regular check ins as if you were on parole. Hell, we could put them up somewhere quite decent and with good food for way less than the cost of Manus. We could also, many have suggested, require the fit adults to work, say by placing them somewhere rural that needs them. This would, of course, be for a limited time during and after a successful application/appeals process.

Does anything about that "solution" make anyone angry?

Wonky Donkey is gonna tell you...

Posted February 23, 2014

Yes, zero element of deterrent. All illegal activities must have some firm of deterrent, otherwise many borderline good will also turn bad, it's called gaming the system.

The process for Genuine migrants in all countries is time consuming. So the illegal route must present more speed humps to have an appropriate incentivisation system.

Open the borders, and watch politicians egged on by the electorate dismantle the social safety net...ala the good old USA which went from zero to hero in a little over 100 years. Okay borders weren't open, but near enough compared to today.

Respond to this thread

Murphy swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted February 20, 2014

We used to have journalism like that here Stateside once.

Not anymore.



On the Outer Marches

Respond to this comment

Lobes reckons...

Posted February 20, 2014

This is a very good analysis of whats driving the tensions in Manus at the moment

Respond to this comment

Quokka asserts...

Posted February 20, 2014

Pinch me, but What Lobes Said.

We were watching 7.30 Report the other night & they were reporting that the asylum seekers were freaking out because they didn't know anything about PNG culture & were afraid they were cannibals.

The locals are none too pleased at having their land appropriated by the White Masters (seriously, is it still 1790? or is that just how the LNP thinks. Never mind, don't answer that.) and they believe that if people are in jail it's because they've done something bad and they don't want criminals next door to their homes.

Added to which there's a serious lack of communication. People from war-torn countries do carry a certain amount of baggage (anxiety, suspicion, frayed nerves, and often PTSD) and it's just a recipe for disaster.

Respond to this comment

Darth Greybeard mutters...

Posted February 24, 2014

As you were people, all is about to be well. In an audacious and totally unexpected (because it's bat-shit crazy) diplomatic masterstroke, Julie Bishop is organising the removal of refugees to Cambodia. Yep. 20% living in poverty, 40% of children with malnutrition, run by a brutal ex-Khmer-Rouge strongman Cambodia. That one. Judging by the latest crackdowns, we won't be hearing from them again.

w from brisbane reckons...

Posted February 24, 2014

I am reminded of Tom Lehrer, the great American master of the satirical song. He was the composer of songs like - Poisoning Pigeons in the Park, Vatican Rag, Wernher von Braun. Lehrer commented that the awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize to Henry Kissinger made political satire obsolete.

I think we are having one of those moments.

Dave W would have you know...

Posted February 24, 2014

True dat, W.

Respond to this thread

Respond to 'Sometimes satire isn't meant to be funny'

Follow along with RSS