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Your last beer on earth

Posted March 13, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

41 Responses to ‘Your last beer on earth’

pi has opinions thus...

Posted March 13, 2014

Gotta be said... I do love a Grolsch

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted March 13, 2014

It isn't so bad with a squeeze of fresh lime.

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DNABeast puts forth...

Posted March 13, 2014

I have a medical reaction to XXXX Gold. Like my body is rejecting it.

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Murphy is gonna tell you...

Posted March 13, 2014

Bulleitt 10 year Bourbon.

If you are going to check out, go uptown for it.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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insomniac mutters...

Posted March 13, 2014

I recently bought a bottle of wine up in the Hunter after going to see Bruce, called Vin de Vie by Audrey Wilkinson. It's delicious but the name brings up a Catch-22 situation.

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Rhino asserts...

Posted March 13, 2014

Bombay Sapphire martini. Dry. Twist.

damian has opinions thus...

Posted March 13, 2014

I say Mr Rhino I find your argument persuasive and would like to subscribe to your pamphlet.

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JBtoo asserts...

Posted March 13, 2014

Something Belgian - maybe a Hoegarden in summer, a Duvel in winter.

Last beer on Mars could be a different matter entirely.

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w from brisbane puts forth...

Posted March 13, 2014

XXXX Gold is for people who really like beer. People for whom 12 stubbies a day is really just a starting point. Cost and survivability become very important. In this situation, XXXX Gold is an excellent drop.

For people who don't really like beer, that is people who might just have a few beers a few times a week, then you can have your Ye Olde Belgian Atomic Wedgie Ale. It doesn't really matter what you drink.

Rob mumbles...

Posted March 14, 2014

I always associate certain drinks with good times , so everytime I drink a xxxx I think of going to a nice cheap aussie pub on the gold coast and buying a nice meal and drinking xxxx in the heat with my kids. So when I'm back in Tas in the thick of winter and the food is expensive and the people are mean. XXXX is for me.

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Mayhem's Mum puts forth...

Posted March 13, 2014

One is fond of a shandy now and again. My Lord and Master Greybeard (Keeper of the torch, Tamer of Rats, Grand High Priest of Fine Beverages) thoughtfully leaves me the occasional six pack of XXXX Gold in his wheelie bin whenever his worshippers bring it to his home as a tribute.

It is not so common an occurence of late. One has difficulty extricating oneself from the cardboard tea chest one currently calls home to examine the wheelie bin contents. My Lord and Master is not only discerning with beverages, he also purchases only the best quality packing tape.

Darth Greybeard would have you know...

Posted March 14, 2014

Fear not my grey and grisly guest, soon you'll be unpacked into a new and commodious dungeon in beautiful suburban Ringworm. To celebrate we'll give you the edible beeswax candles and a six-pack of VB. Won't that be nice? Mayhem sent you a cake but all the grass died within a 2m radius of the box and the postie is still in the ICU so we gave it to the local Kindy instead.

w from brisbane ducks in to say...

Posted March 14, 2014

How apposite. The home of the Pride of Ringwood. The famous (infamous) hops that give Australian beer their taste. Used it just about all our quaffing beers, except XXXX. XXXX preferring Golden Cluster hops.

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Bangar mumbles...

Posted March 13, 2014

Last beer would have to be a Cooper's of the Vintage variety.

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dweeze reckons...

Posted March 13, 2014

Seeing as how the slitheries are only out in summer, mine would be a lightly chilled Duvel or maybe a long neck of Weihanstephaner Hefeweissbier. Failing that, one of my local mates (Strathbogie Brewing) has started producing a rather quaffable wheat beer.

If I somehow got bit in winter, the finest last drop would have to be long neck of La Maudite - I've not drunk better.

You know, all this talk of snakeypoos will proably bring one in to my face today. Ony 14 sightings near the house this summer and it has been some weeks since I heard the hiss.

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Brother PorkChop mutters...

Posted March 13, 2014

Beery Stuff - Kilkenny

Wine - 04 Picardy Pinot

Spirit - Angostura 1824 Rum

or an icy Loch Castle licor manzana verde

or Agavero El Original Licor de Tequila

or preferably one of each please, just before I go.

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Barnesm puts forth...

Posted March 13, 2014

Daryl would say peach schnapps should neither be your first or your last alcoholic drink.

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Jerie reckons...

Posted March 13, 2014

Just a plain, simple Heineken...

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w from brisbane mumbles...

Posted March 13, 2014

Two people I know had last beer incidences.
One of my mates, in hospital dying of emphysema. A very entertaining man and an inveterate barfly. He was brought in to hospital and was on his last few days. Another friend was visiting him and it became obvious that Graham didn't realise that he was soon to die. My friend went out to the nurse's station and asked what is going on, Graham doesn't realise he's not coming out of here alive. A nurse said, Right!, went to Graham and laid out the reality very bluntly.
Graham said, "Well. I guess I had better have a beer then." I think my friend got him a VB. Graham had lived in Queensland for 35 years but always considered himself a Victorian. He died within the week.

Another bloke, my father-in-law, was dying of Leukemia. He expressed a wish to his wife that he wanted a beer and he thought he wanted a stout. Neither he and his wife were big beer drinkers but his wife came to me for assistance. I bought them a tallie of Guinness. His wife and he shared the Guinness by his bed. She said it was great. He was dead within 3 days.

In both cases, I don't think it was the beer that killed them.

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damian swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted March 13, 2014

Testing... grrr... spit

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damian would have you know...

Posted March 13, 2014

What I had tried to say, which wasn't nohting, I wouldn't try to post nothing, was that I would like to refer to this without comment. Not that I can't comment about it, but if I did it wouldn't make it any better.

NBlob mutters...

Posted March 14, 2014

Testify Comrade D

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sibeen swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted March 13, 2014

Let's face facts, If you're about to fly off the perch in the next 30 minutes or so then the best beer is the bloody nearest. Now, saying that, i wouldn't have a xxxx in my fridge for love or money, so I'd be reaching for what is guaranteed to be in there, a lovely Abbotsford Invalid Stout.

Of course my wine fridge is also next to the beer fridge, and at the bottom of that I have a few bottles of Wild Duck Creek '96 Duck Muck. Just the thing when you know you've only got 30 minutes or so to go.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted March 14, 2014

"Let's face facts, If you're about to fly off the perch in the next 30 minutes or so then the best beer is the bloody nearest."

Cannot, cannot, cannot argue with that.

Bangar is gonna tell you...

Posted March 15, 2014

So what you're saying is keep good beer on hand at all times!

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Babes would have you know...

Posted March 14, 2014

I'd go with La Chouffe, I think.

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Trashman puts forth...

Posted March 14, 2014

For those of us who don't drink and live in Gods Own Country (Scotland, if you had to ask!) - a cold Irn Bru right out of the fridge.

w from brisbane mumbles...

Posted March 14, 2014

Dear Trashman

Can you describe the flavour of Irn-Blu?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan reckons...

Posted March 14, 2014

Reminiscent of oat cakes, with haggis notes and a black fruit finish.

w from brisbane ducks in to say...

Posted March 14, 2014

Someone said it tastes like sweet jam, with some seaweed.

Lulu ducks in to say...

Posted March 14, 2014

Deep-fried Mars Bar, with a salt-and-vinegar crisps finish.

NBlob has opinions thus...

Posted March 14, 2014

With due respect to one of the greatest nations of engineers & thinkers, Irn Bru tastes like arse. Clyde-side navvies arse.

And while I'm at it Chips (hot deep-fried potato to avoid the crips / chips argument) should not be cooked in bulk & sit in a warmer for an hour. Chips should make noise when you eat them. A fair fraction should shatter when you bite down. These saggy, flacid, pasty abominations, as I was served in Edinborough, Must Stop.

Trashman ducks in to say...

Posted March 16, 2014

Philistines, the lot of you!

Chips that shatter are overdone by definition. They should also be covered in salt and chip chop sauce. (Brown sauce diluted with vinegar). If you're feeling sophisticated, covered in grated cheese as well. That's got to cover most of the food groups surely?

Irn Bru is hard to describe - sweet but has a bite in the aftertaste. I've heard it described as tasting like bubble gum but I don't agree. Best cold out the fridge. According to a recent interview even Scarlett Johansson likes it!

It outsells Coca Cola in Scotland and, I believe, Russia, strangely enough. It goes well with vodka (called a Girder), which might explain that.

Also, it's the only hangover cure I've heard of!

All in all (as you may have heard) we like to eat healthily in Scotland...

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Brother PorkChop has opinions thus...

Posted March 14, 2014

Or creaming soda.... but sweeter.

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Rob mutters...

Posted March 14, 2014

I would have to go a xxxx or a VB. I was introduced to Aussie beers when living in New Zealand by an Aussie TV producer. I think it was the only reason he made commercials was for the slab of beer at 4 pm. Anywho moved to Australia and I just kinda stuck with those. So yeah I would ask for a VB over a boutique beer or one with a nice packet.

My name is Rob and I like Aussie mass produced beer.

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Darth Greybeard asserts...

Posted March 14, 2014

I'd probably go for a Beamish Stout which, along with Murphy's, I prefer to Guinness. That's if it had to be a beer. Otherwise any good single malt would be the thing. There are so many and I love them polyamorously.

Also, on the only occasions I've been bitten by a venomous snake I was at work and there was NO BEER. After the bandaging I had to make do with a coffee and a panadol. Made up for it when I got home though.

sibeen swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted March 14, 2014

BEAMISH...OMG.

I tried one down in the south of Ireland one time. Thought I must, as I was in the country and all that. Once finished the barman looked at me and enquired whether I'd like another.

"Not in this lifetime" was my snooty reply. Gad, it was ghastly.

A murphy's on the other hand - that's mothers milk.

NBlob mumbles...

Posted March 15, 2014

Strong mental image of a viper hacking-up hair ball style, "I'll never get that taste out of my mouth."

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Bangar mumbles...

Posted March 14, 2014

Have you tried Sheaf Stout?

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Anthony puts forth...

Posted March 14, 2014

I'd have one of the last half-dozen Nogne o 100% Peated I have in my fridge. Especially if I don't have time for a whisky as well. It has the taste of Ardberg whisky and one is usually enough. It's a rather interesting norwegian beer at 8%. And what other beer has "Almost Undrinkable" stamped across the label,

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damian ducks in to say...

Posted March 15, 2014

On relfection I think if you can only have one, you still want some fortification for the journey ahead, which means I'm going for Carlsberg Elephant or Weihenstephaner Vitus, though Beamish or Kilkenny by pint sounds reasonable as well (and the bonus of being a decent meal).

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