Cheeseburger Gothic

My digital publisher drops digital

Posted April 1, 2014 into Books by John Birmingham

Just got the press release:

In a shock announcement sure to make waves in the Australian publishing industry, Momentum, the digital-first imprint of Pan Macmillan Australia, has announced that they will no longer be publishing books digitally. Their entire back catalogue will be converted to print, as will all upcoming books.

Momentum’s publisher Joel Naoum said, “While we’ve had an extremely valuable experience working in digital, we’ve had to make the decision to go to a print-based model. We’ll still be publishing the same kinds of projects, but we’ll be delivering them via an exciting new system.”

The second part of the announcement was that instead of sending print books to bookstores, the books will be delivered to individuals via drone. This follows the death of an extremely wealthy relative of Naoum’s, who bequeathed the publisher an undisclosed sum.

“Printing each title on demand and delivering them via a fleet of drones with my face painted on them has always been a dream of mine,” said Naoum, as he prepared to drive a monster truck over a Porsche. “It’s effective and great for the consumer,” he continued, while lighting a cigar with a hundred dollar bill.

The drone system is inspired by Amazon’s recent announcement of drone deliveries, although Naoum claimed he had thought of it first. Each drone will have Naoum’s smiling, winking face painted on the front and sides, with Banksy being commissioned to hand paint each of the 100-strong fleet.

The new range of Momentum print books will be priced between $15-$30, with a drone delivery fee of approximately $10,000. For those who want the books without drone delivery, Naoum said “get with the 21st century, man” before diving into a pool filled with champagne.

The changes to Momentum will take place today, 1 April 2014.

16 Responses to ‘My digital publisher drops digital’

Lulu reckons...

Posted April 1, 2014

I see what you did there.

BigWillieStyle would have you know...

Posted April 1, 2014

Me too. Laugh? I thought I'd never start.

Respond to this thread

Quokka asserts...

Posted April 1, 2014

Pfft.

You've got to get up earlier. The builder already tried it on me by announcing they will be here at 6.30am sharp to commence new deck & dungeon installations at Casa Q.

Bwahahahahahahahahaha yeah sure.

Respond to this comment

Surtac swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 1, 2014

Right ... tell me again after mid-day and I might consider believing you. :)

Respond to this comment

insomniac puts forth...

Posted April 1, 2014

It seems like a wAIST of the tECHNOLOGy but I GUESS the tablet's going in the BIN ... thanks a LOT!!

Respond to this comment

Chaz has opinions thus...

Posted April 1, 2014

As I've seen some crap (& completely illogical) decisions made by publishers in my time you had me until the 2nd paragragh :))

Nice go though.

Respond to this comment

MarkatVAVS swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 1, 2014

You had me going for minute.

Well played Good Sir

Respond to this comment

Barnesm is gonna tell you...

Posted April 1, 2014

and I presume the US publisher will be anouncing this tomorrow

Respond to this comment

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted April 1, 2014

Forgive the indelicate inquiry, but is this yet another example of what you munted fuckers call "taking the piss?"

Because if it is, it isn't funny. Not a bit. Nearly went into AoT withdrawal.

insomniac has opinions thus...

Posted April 1, 2014

oui

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted April 1, 2014

Is that a subtle pun? Because if so, it isn't funny, either.

insomniac swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 1, 2014

just like when ms insomniac says i'm not funny, i say "that's right; i'm not funny ... i'm hilarious"

Barnesm reckons...

Posted April 1, 2014

non

Respond to this thread

insomniac mumbles...

Posted April 1, 2014

Now I see why my first marriage failed. All this time I thought it was because she was a cheating lying insane bitch, but it was really just me.

Respond to this thread

Murphy asserts...

Posted April 1, 2014

Thanks.

I'll put my AED away then.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

Respond to this comment

Respond to 'My digital publisher drops digital'

Follow along with RSS