Cheeseburger Gothic

Today's blunty is brought to you by di Bella coffee, lots of swearing, toothless crack whores and Cameron Atfield's big blue tick

Posted July 1, 2014 into Blunty by John Birmingham

At Blunty:

Can I just state for the record that I have lots more followers than The Cat and nobody from the Premier's office made anything of my offer to go gay for billionaire Apple tyrant Tim Cook, as long as there was a staff discount on a Mac Pro in it for me? Nobody complained about my appalling language, my frequent references to my bodily functions or my recurring habit of referring to News Limited trollumnists as toothless crack whores.

I am much worse than Cameron Atfield, Mr Premier, even if he does have a stupid blue tick. And you prove yourself unfit to govern by not recognising that.


24 Responses to ‘Today's blunty is brought to you by di Bella coffee, lots of swearing, toothless crack whores and Cameron Atfield's big blue tick’

Lulu would have you know...

Posted July 1, 2014
Wow, di Bella's a real person? With actual responsibilities and stuff? From what little I'd heard, I thought it was all the work of some mischievously-created sock puppet.

Respond to this comment

Darth Greybeard would have you know...

Posted July 1, 2014
It's surprising how many people have that blue tick. Natalie B, Annabelle Crabb, Phil Plait, Mark Colvin, Georgia Waters, Laurie Oakes, Spencer Howson, First Dog on the Moon, Jonathan Green, Dr Karl, Marieke Hardy, Virginia Trioli, Adam Savage, John Scalzi, and of course Cameron Atfield. Heck, even Katherine Feeney and Chewbacca have a Blue Tick.

But never mind John, I don't have one either. I guess it must be some comfort to know that?

w from brisbane is gonna tell you...

Posted July 1, 2014
First Dog on the Moon has a blue tick.
That's weird.
Who's next to get a blue tick?
...The Phantom...Daffy Duck?
I would want to be assured I was tweeting the real Daffy Duck.

Darth Greybeard mumbles...

Posted July 1, 2014
First Dog is (as he'll happily tell you) Walkley Award-Winning cartoonist Andrew Marlton and quite real. And he owes me a book about whiskey and Tasmania.

Hey, you know who doesn't have a Walkley?

John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted July 2, 2014
You. You don't have Walkley you vicious old nut sack.

Halwes asserts...

Posted July 2, 2014

You wont get a walkley or a blue tick if you engage in geriatric abuse. You have to suck up to those old people. They've got all the money.

Darth Greybeard mumbles...

Posted July 2, 2014
Showed that comment to my dear wife, expecting her to spring to my defense. I guess she might, when she's finished giggling.

Spanner puts forth...

Posted July 2, 2014
I wonder if I could get a blue tick? Probably not. My twunter account could be a parody account...heck my whole life is a parody account.

Respond to this thread

Dave W has opinions thus...

Posted July 1, 2014
Can someone please explain what a blue tick is? You see, I know very little about the twitting.

NBlob mumbles...

Posted July 1, 2014
It is a verified account.
Birmo is a bit miffed that he hasn't been ticked.

Respond to this thread

Dave W asserts...

Posted July 1, 2014
Begging the question, what is a verified account?

NBlob asserts...

Posted July 1, 2014
Twitter has spawned a rather strange range of mimics. From maliscous hate venting sock puppets (multiple accounts by one user) to rather strange comedy routines.
A verified account is one that twitter management has er verified to be held by a celeb or public figure.

Dave W is gonna tell you...

Posted July 1, 2014
Thanks nblob. I'm down with the zeitgeist, now.

Respond to this thread

Bangar mutters...

Posted July 1, 2014
So is the campaign to get Birmo a blue tick or stop same? Which will provide us the most entertainment ;)

Respond to this comment

John Birmingham has opinions thus...

Posted July 1, 2014
I don't need no stinkin' blue tick.

Spanner mutters...

Posted July 2, 2014
So you would totes reject the blue tick if they gave it to you? Cause you know keeping it real etc.

Start a new account without the blue tick?

Lulu mutters...

Posted July 3, 2014
I don't know about the blue tick, but based on the recent news, about the panel which makes appointments to the ABC & SBS boards, I think JB will not be serving on either of those.

Respond to this thread

tqft asserts...

Posted July 2, 2014
Almost posted a comment on that thread from work. Remembered I was a) working and b) where I was working.

Self censorship in action.

Respond to this comment

Therbs ducks in to say...

Posted July 2, 2014

Is a blue tick a parasite found on a blue heeler?

Respond to this comment

BigWillieStyle puts forth...

Posted July 2, 2014

Jeez. Why all the hating on JB just 'cos he doesn't have a Walkley? He's won several ARIA's, so that's something!

* checks Wikipedia just to be sure *

Oh. Wrong Birmingham. Sorry. Carry on.

Respond to this comment

w from brisbane asserts...

Posted July 2, 2014
The injustices meted out to JB, Australia's most unawarded author, continue to mount.
I don't relish bringing up a very painful episode from the past, but remember last year, JB's excitement about his upcoming award for running Australia's best blog. Then the fell news. JB not only inexplicably did not win the best Aus blog award, he didn't even win his own category 'Words and Writing'. The category was won by the winsome Stephanie Campisi and her charming but little-trafficked 'Read in a single sitting' blog of her reviews of nice books.
Now, I don't wish to point fingers, and I am not one to gossip, but looking at Ms Campisi's JB-beating, 2013 award-winning blog, I don't think she has posted anything since November last year. That's right! November last year!!!

insomniac swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted July 2, 2014
quality over quantity?

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted July 2, 2014
She took the money and bought a fucking island. That bitch.

Hmm. Did I type that out loud?

w from brisbane reckons...

Posted July 2, 2014
JB, not that far off, further research (looking at her twitter) would indicate that Ms Campisi is
currently in San Francisco, pending a permanent move!
Some might say, "She's taken the money and is doing a runner!"

Respond to this thread

Respond to 'Today's blunty is brought to you by di Bella coffee, lots of swearing, toothless crack whores and Cameron Atfield's big blue tick'

Follow along with RSS