Sometimes a comment is worth pulling out and running as a standalone entry even if I disagree with it. Or sometimes, especially if I disagree with it.
Simon Garlic's rant about the first Capaldi episode is so drenched with ranty spit balls it seemed a shame few would see it at the end of comment thread half a week old.
So, here's Simon's take on the first ep of the new Doctor:
This episode existed for one reason – to reassure younger fans of New Who that it’s OK for the Doctor to be old. Clara gets upgraded from being a piece of the set to being an audience surrogate. Still not a character though.
The dinosaur out of its time, lost, all alone. “The world is grey, everything I knew is gone.” We get it.
The robot out of its time, repairing itself for millennia, all alone. Come on Moffat, we get it.
The broom speech. “There’s nothing of you left”. The face in the tray bit showing 12 his own face. Fuck Moff, give it a rest.
Vastra’s veil speech. “He’s old. The young face was just an act. If you can’t accept that he’s older, you are a shallow person.” Jenny to Clara. “I don’t just like her, I love her, even though she’s different.” If you are just “liking” him for his looks, you don’t really love him. MOFFAAATTTTTT
Clara: fucking everything in the whole episode. Oh, she’s only 27? Gee, thanks for that Strax, that line didn’t half stand out like dog’s bollocks. “Hey Doc, that’s not the only grey hair”, and just in case you haven’t been slapped in the face with it enough, here comes a call from Clara’s boyfriend so that Matt Smith can explain to the audience – I mean, Clara – that it’s OK for the Doctor to be old and grey.
The “Clara doesn’t understand regeneration and wants her young Doctor back” plot was inexplicable shit. She has more understanding of Time Lord regen than anyone! She spent time with three different Doctors of different ages simultaneously in the 50th, and thanks to the crap Impossible Girl crap story arc crap she’s the only companion to have personally encountered every different incarnation of the Doctor across 2,000 years. Shit. Fuck you Moffat, lazy writing.
Episode highpoints: Capaldi, “times like these I miss Amy”, eyebrows.
Episode lowpoints: everything else.
At a higher level this episode embodies something even more annoying – Moffatt’s twin tendencies to
a) regurgitate his own previous plots and storylines - S08E01 is basically S02E04 “The Girl In The Fireplace” (writer: Steven Moffatt) re-done to emphasis the Doctor's age. Clockwork robots in a broken time-traveling spaceship trying to harvest human bodyparts to perform repairs, the Doctor struck with the reality that he's ancient and immortal and personal relationships with humans just don't work; and
b) make the Doctor a timetraveling Sherlock Holmes. Moffatt is lead writer and showrunner of “Sherlock” and “Doctor Who” at the same time, and it shows. Not in a good way.