Cheeseburger Gothic

From the desk of Dave Hooper

Posted December 12, 2014 into Books by John Birmingham

... but not just the usual anonymous 'With Compliments' slip from the publisher. So I had a batch of stationary made up. Straight from the desk of Dave Hooper.

I used a web based company called Vistaprint to get them done and am still a bit amazed at the speed and quality with which they delivered fifty perfectly printed sheets for less than twenty bucks. I tried a few other places and was quoted hundreds.

46 Responses to ‘From the desk of Dave Hooper ’

Murphy_of_Missouri would have you know...

Posted December 12, 2014
Teh Awesome!

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Lobes would have you know...

Posted December 12, 2014
I am very excited about this book. Its always interesting how JB taps into the zeitgeist when backgrounding the themes of his novels. The Axis of Time series came out in 2004 at the apex of American military adventurism and posited what could result if the interventionist attitude was extended out 20 or so years.

The next series of Disappearance novels swung the other way and hypothesized the likely outcomes of a power vacuum where a vanished USA led to a breakdown in the geopolitical order. This series came out from 2009 and reflected a resurgently isolationist America that was tired and weary of war and how its fair weather allies might need to be careful of what they wished for.

But seriously this Dave Hooper series looks like surpassing the previous two. Stuck, as we currently are, in a nexus of atmospheric and energy issues JB takes metaphorical aim at the fossil fuel companies that are releasing the climate demons around the world. Its not hard to draw a parallell between his literary monsters and the weeks of #Stormpocalypse in Australia, the 'Weather Bomb' currently smashing the UK and what is sure to be another winter of crazy Vortex led disruption in North America.

Once again JB has managed to capture the defining issue of our time and sculpt it into another thrilling narrative involving his trademark wit, scrupulous attention to detail and characters that leap off the page (and if you spend enough time around this blog you may realise that sometimes the characters leap on to the page as well). I am amped to get into this book and delighted by the fact we have three being released in quick succession next year. This remdies my main issue with his previous trilogies in that we had to wait a year between drinks.

Bunyip mutters...

Posted December 13, 2014
If you don't like that sincerity, I've got others that may suit more.

NBlob ducks in to say...

Posted December 14, 2014

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.

Leonard Lyons

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coriolisdave mutters...

Posted December 12, 2014
JB, did they do the entire thing, blood & coffee included?

Or just the stationary?

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted December 12, 2014
The blood and coffee too.

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John Birmingham ducks in to say...

Posted December 12, 2014
Sorry, to clarify; I supplied the blood and coffee. But it's printed on the paper.

coriolisdave has opinions thus...

Posted December 12, 2014
AW.

SM.

JG ducks in to say...

Posted December 12, 2014
Ewww! Too much gore. I feel lightheaded. Blood is not my forte. Very colourful though. I hope I survive reading your next trilogy, JB. There's sure to be blood in it.

Loves, er, Lobes (predictive text is a curse) - a most intelligent comment. I will be interested to see if the Dave vs technology and monsters series also covers new technologies like genetic cloning and super smart robots. The monsters could represent a multitude of the world's emerging threats and uncertainties. Always good to write about fear.

Joanna G

ShaneAlpha has opinions thus...

Posted December 12, 2014
Coffee? And here I was, thinking it was a beer ring from a frosty glass of Old Persuader.

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted December 12, 2014
There is an Old Persuader joke/ref in Resistance.

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Barnesm has opinions thus...

Posted December 12, 2014

<font face="Times New Roman">
</font><font size="2"><font face="Arial">Blackadder: [to Baldrick] I wish to
quickly send off some party invitations. And to make them look particularly
tough, I wish to write them in blood. Your blood, to be precise. </font></font>

<font size="2"><font face="Arial">Baldrick: So, how much blood will you actually be requiring,
my lord? </font></font>

<font size="2"><font face="Arial">Blackadder: Oh, nothing much, just a small puddle. </font></font>

Baldrick: Will you want me to cut anything off? An arm or a
leg, for instance?</font></font>

Baldrick: Very well, my lord. I am your bondsman, and must
obey. (sticks a knife down his trousers and begins sawing)</font></font>

<font face="Times New Roman">

</font>

Blackadder: OH FOR GOD'S SAKE, BALDRICK! I meant a little
prick on your finger!</font></font>

<font face="Times New Roman">

</font>

John Birmingham puts forth...

Posted December 12, 2014
One day you will learn not to cut and paste from Word.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan asserts...

Posted December 12, 2014
Have you considered the possibility that Barnsey knows precisely what he is doing?

Barnesm asserts...

Posted December 14, 2014
What he said.

NBlob mutters...

Posted December 14, 2014

It's an homage to Havsy's performance pieces.

Very Meta.

HAVOCK21 swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 16, 2014
BITE!!! ME!.

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damian is gonna tell you...

Posted December 12, 2014
Start -> Run -> notepad.exe

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damian mumbles...

Posted December 12, 2014
He did not wear his chocolate pants
For blood and coffee are brown
And blood and coffee were on his hands
When they found him sitting down.
He sat there on that Aeron chair
With a bowl of coffee grounds.

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Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted December 12, 2014
I want to love but it comes out wrong

I want to live but I don't belong

I close my eyes and I see

Blood and coffee....

I

JG has opinions thus...

Posted December 12, 2014
Secret Poets emerge.

Slither forth the grime of squandered youth.

Give heed to la Tribe of Brown Froth. Coffee Frats.

Coffee, blood, Murphy's Law, Bailey's Cream. Blue Vein bleed. OK, no rhythm.

Break the rules. Anarchy.

No! Order!

Coffee.

Squabble less and celebrate the slip. Chop chop. Feel the lust.

Of blood let free.
Grind the coffee. Take the bean. Drip the red.

JG (likes tea and coffee; skim milk please.... occasional awry drink)

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted December 12, 2014
I am more of a plagiarist than a poet (see Blood and Roses by Smithereens).

damian mutters...

Posted December 13, 2014
Oh hey I love that song. That one and 'Behind the wall of coffee'.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted December 13, 2014
Better yet "Behind the Wall of Sleep (there is coffee).

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Dave W would have you know...

Posted December 12, 2014
Can the national Library get one of these, please? I have it on good authority that this would be suitable as part of the John Birmingham collection.

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Spanner would have you know...

Posted December 12, 2014
So...short of stalking and parking outside of JB's house...how does a loyal CBG fan get a signed copy of the Dave for Mr14 for Christmas? Mr 14 has just read the Axis of Time and is nagging me for MOAR books?

DM?

John Birmingham ducks in to say...

Posted December 12, 2014
Spanner, it's officially released on 23 Dec. If you want a hard copy for your boy, I'd hassle your local book shoppe well before then. They often get the boxes a week or so before release.

pi ducks in to say...

Posted December 12, 2014
ahem... signed?

NBlob swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 14, 2014

I haz outsourced my hassling to an irresistible blonde Bobette.

It's all about the right tool for the job.

Darth Greybeard ducks in to say...

Posted December 14, 2014
But people always say you're a right tool? Ohhh "the". Never mind.

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Spanner mutters...

Posted December 12, 2014
I'll commence hassling.

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Dan has opinions thus...

Posted December 12, 2014

I too have used the Vistaprint service.

We have a small game club in Brisbane and they've printed our mugs, T-shirts and banners. Great prices. And if you sign up for their email, look out for
the specials. Some good deals if you watch what you order...


PS - I am sooooo looking forward to this book. Can I get an ETA in standard paperback? It has to fit in with the collection!

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Bernie mumbles...

Posted December 13, 2014
At this stage I'd like to say that I am in the media..., and I can be contacted off board for the delivery details of my media copy..., that is all.., carry on.

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Therbs has opinions thus...

Posted December 13, 2014
Do Unky Rupe's rags do book reviews? Reckon they'd get the joke or would it just confuse the poor dears?

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Darth Greybeard mutters...

Posted December 13, 2014
Yep. I've used Vistaprint for personalised pads of sticky notes for friends and family. Wife was the envy(?) of colleagues for logo plus "Educator Extraordinaire". One had a background of flames and "OBEY ME" with details as per business card. Bit late for this Xmas but some of you might consider next year?

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Bunyip has opinions thus...

Posted December 13, 2014
I just the fact you can get stuff custom printed in your own blood. Might be of utility for any *cough* legal types *cough* out there.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 13, 2014
As one of the "legal types" here I am compelled to say that I am deeply insulted by your unfair and inflammatory accusation. I want it on the record that I do not want stationery printed in my own blood.

I want stationery printed in the blood of my opponents.

Sudragon asserts...

Posted December 13, 2014
And bound in their skin too?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted December 13, 2014
Absolutely not. What do you take me for, a monster?

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Murphy would have you know...

Posted December 13, 2014
That is no coffee stain.

That is Bulleit Bourbon!

Darth Greybeard swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted December 13, 2014
Bulleit
noun, trademark
  • A whisky-like liquid of American origin. Believed to be distilled from a mash of corn and rye rejected by the Jim Beam™ factory. Various adulterants are added to produce the characteristic flavours of marmalade, bananas, cigar ash and Old Spice.
  • Any substance tending to produce a laxative effect, eg "that curry went through my guts like a shot of Bulleit."
  • Synonyms: Legal Moonshine, Kentucky Gut Cleanser, Murphy's Milk

Merry Xmas Murph

GhostSwirv ducks in to say...

Posted December 13, 2014

Recovering a from a Bulleit or three to the guts - need coffee and parchment to stem the bloody tears - maybe all I need is a gentle lie down and a bloody good read.

Any suggestions Murph, Darth Greybeard ... JB?

Murphy ducks in to say...

Posted December 15, 2014
Ghost, gin and tonic maybe?

Dark, thanks! Same to ya!

Respects,
Murph
On the Outer Marches

Matthew F. puts forth...

Posted December 16, 2014
"Bulleit Wiith Butteirfly Wiings" is my favourite Smashing Pumpkins song.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan has opinions thus...

Posted December 17, 2014
I hate that song and I hate Smashing Pumpkins. They are always copying me.

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