Cheeseburger Gothic

"Seattle's most experienced sexual predator"

Posted February 19, 2015 into Books by John Birmingham

Annabel Crabb and Leigh Sales go to the movies. To Fifty Shades of Grey.

They giggle over bondage and dusters. Immensely more enjoyable than seeing it yourself. Mr Frellman might need a glass of water.

And The Dave gets a lovely cameo.

39 Responses to ‘"Seattle's most experienced sexual predator"’

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan ducks in to say...

Posted February 19, 2015
I know it may seem inappropriate to observe, but an experienced sexual predator is probably preferable to an inexperienced one. Sort of like the difference between organized and disorganized crime.

NBlob asserts...

Posted February 19, 2015

Eh?

Please explain?

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted February 19, 2015
I suppose it is bad enough without a lot of fumbling about. I would imagine that mistakes made due to lack of experience would only increase the badness of the experience.

Shifty Tourist mumbles...

Posted February 20, 2015

I suppose it depends which part of being a predator he is inexperienced at.

For instance, an antelope would probably much rather be stalked by an inexperienced leopard... if the inexperience is in the stalking... better chance of getting away. But if the inexperience is the what happens after the stalking, then I can see the good professor's point. There may be a point where an inexperienced leopard is messing up the jugular ripping point, when the antelope may wish the leopard is a bit more efficient about it.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted February 20, 2015
I had this long response discussing the differences between an actual predator in the wild and a human sexual predator vis-a-vis their respective prey but I've decided not to post it because this is getting sort of creepy.

Academic discussion and analysis have their limits.

Shifty Tourist has opinions thus...

Posted February 20, 2015

Probably right... also too easy for such discussion, even delivered with tongue in cheek (maybe even especially when so treated), to become a bit too "trigger-y" for individuals with unfortunate real life experience.

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NBlob would have you know...

Posted February 19, 2015
Must be uncomfortable having all that smoke blown up your fundamental. Pity AC didn't finish the quote.

John Birmingham swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted February 19, 2015
It's warms and it tickles only a little.

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Sudragon is gonna tell you...

Posted February 19, 2015
QOTD : "Total Man Book..."

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GhostSwirv swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted February 19, 2015


I didn't know you were from Seattle?

I thought you were a pom and like from Birmingham?


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Abe Frellman swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted February 19, 2015
I went for a nice Japanese single malt instead of water. (Actually there may have been a couple of drops of water in there to release the aromatics.)

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Therbs mutters...

Posted February 20, 2015
I think I even heard a snort in amongst the giggling.

JG has opinions thus...

Posted February 20, 2015
Definitely a few snortsthere, Therbs.

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Halwes mumbles...

Posted February 20, 2015

Good luck with that storm east coasters. That's a bigger one than I've seen in a fair while down there I think. Predicted to go through Monto at Cat 2. I predict a lot of tall trees on the ground if that happens.

NBlob mumbles...

Posted February 20, 2015
Halwes. @ Sunny Coast, an hour north of Bris. We've been enjoying the fruits of a sweet trough most of the day, 130mm+ in 24 hours. Best of all is the soil is now saturated & the creeks full, so when Ex Marcia turns up it'll all be on top. + the low pressure lensing. Oh and for extra bonus points a king tide. We've done our token sandbagging, removed the aircon units. From here on its in the lap of the dogs.

Halwes ducks in to say...

Posted February 21, 2015

Hope you got through OK. I love the sunnie coast. Just had an excellent break and one of the best parties ever at Mooloolaba. Hope you've still got some beach left. You've heard this I know but Why is a cyclone like a woman? They both start out with a little blow and then end up taking the whole bloody house.

NBlob puts forth...

Posted February 21, 2015

No shit. I'm currently squatting @ Mllba while a troika of Architect, Engineer & Council butt-rape my budget.

I can cope with SWMBO's cyclonic fury, it's PNB's big sad brown eyes when I show him a pile of Scaff, tin & blocks, rather than inunct him with cooling coast breezes, expansive views & obscene quality seafood.

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Halwes swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted February 20, 2015

I loved Emergence but I'm going to be mightily pissed if Dave doesn't finally get to scoff a barrel of coke and party with a willing woman or two and his super powers. Dave

DarrenBloomfield would have you know...

Posted February 20, 2015
If at some point Dave doesn't revert to type, that, in some respects, would be the least believable aspect of his remarkable story.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted February 20, 2015
It is my hope that Dave reforms and accepts Jesus Christ as his own personal savior.

Halwes asserts...

Posted February 20, 2015

He can do both.

Halwes is gonna tell you...

Posted February 20, 2015
A coked up fundamentalist sex maniac is old hat though now days

Anthony mutters...

Posted February 20, 2015
It would, however, get him his own TV show.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted February 20, 2015
It is my hope that Dave reforms, accepts Jesus Christ as his own personal savior, and gets his own TV show. Perhaps a chat show.

NBlob mumbles...

Posted February 20, 2015
Dave hosts a panel of Gresh, Silveen & Special Guest Hunn battle masters. Each episode they discuss difficult social situations. For comic relief the Hunn periodically bellow "Smash their skulls and gorge on the essence within." Hysterical when "Conflicted of Tampa" is talking about her unbearable attraction to her hot Step-Mother in law to-be.Like agony aunt meets a Tarantino film.

damian asserts...

Posted February 21, 2015
The second one comes out of embargo soon, I notice...

Halwes would have you know...

Posted February 21, 2015

I don't see any coke, monster tackle or women in this scenario NBlob. Please try harder.

NBlob reckons...

Posted February 21, 2015

Ever been in the "Green Room"?

Coke, dwarves, M&M's with no red ones.

Whatever you want baby, what ever gets you *there*.

Sorry JB, this is on "real" television, not literature shows.

Worse are the riders at literature festivals. Ethical breads, heirloom celery & wine. Not good wine.

Halwes puts forth...

Posted February 21, 2015

Karmichael should be able to fix everyone up. I was in the green room at Macca's Australia All Over once. No coke or dwarves but the grilled Koala was awesome.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted February 21, 2015
Reliable sources tell me that Koala tastes terrible. Something to do with their diet.

damian ducks in to say...

Posted February 21, 2015
S'posed to be like a cross between mutton, menthol cigarettes and drain cleaner.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mutters...

Posted February 22, 2015
So you are recommending to pair it with a white wine, not a red?

damian swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted February 22, 2015
Yes, a "witty" chablis served from a damp cardboard box

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Shifty Tourist reckons...

Posted February 20, 2015
See, there I was really hoping for a "it was all just a dream" ending. People LOVE those.

Shifty Tourist asserts...

Posted February 20, 2015
oops, meant to be a response to Halwes... seems I failed at internet today.

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JG has opinions thus...

Posted February 20, 2015
Won't bother to see the movie 50 Shades of Grey and didn't read the book, but loved this infectious podcast. Must listen to a few more by Sales & Crabb. Couldn't help laughing along with them. Hysterical.

Abe Frellman would have you know...

Posted February 20, 2015
Yes, I, for one, am looking forward to the Submarine Sale, Leaseback and Public Private Partnership Securitisation podcast edition where we find out that the Australian National Audit Office has been sucked into renting office space in a bunch of old miniature Japanese subs found just off Palm Beach.

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Blarkon puts forth...

Posted February 20, 2015
Favorite comment about 50 Shades was the article in Vox that it was a female laziness fantasy - http://www.vox.com/2015/2/17/8051291/fifty-shades-of-grey

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