Cheeseburger Gothic

Traps for old players.

Posted July 20, 2009 by John Birmingham
The ladies of the household were both occupied with ladylike goings-on yesterday, leaving Thomas and I to amuse ourselves for the better part of the day. I had Stargate Continuum recorded on the magic TV box and had been saving it for a post deadine sesh, but the day was bright and warm and the park beckoned first, so we repaired down the hill with a frisbee and football.

I decided, having lost so much weight and improved my fitness that I was gonna give him a harsh lesson in the sort of tricks old lions can get up to in winter, and for a good half hour I was all over the wee devil. Then, a poor frisbee toss saw the disc pop up high and fall into no man's land between us. Thomas saw his chance and took off. Right, I thought, we're not having that. And so I engaged the hyperdrive and lit out at maximum warp aiming to reach the estimated impact point well before him.

RRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPP.....

That's not the actual sound a hamstring makes when it fails spectacularly. But that's what it feels like deep inside your leg.

Because no matter how much weight I've dropped, or how much excerise I've done, there simply is no way that 88 kilos of 45 year old aged beef can cover twenty metres of open ground from a standing start as quickly as 17 kilos of sugar powered spring chicken.

Much limping, a hot bath and a very large glass of red wine later we settled down to watch Stargate instead.

28 Responses to ‘Traps for old players.’

Chaz has opinions thus...

Posted July 20, 2009
Don't you mean '45 year old aged and marinated beef'?

yep none of us of getting any younger. the only upsdie is that I know you've got three years on me!!

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Therbs puts forth...

Posted July 20, 2009
And why is it that next time we go out to kick a ball around we forget the pain of the previous time? Ah yes, that's right, its called alcohol.

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simon bedak puts forth...

Posted July 20, 2009
Ouch, baby. If you can find one, grab an old fashioned three-armed Flo-Bo to play with in the park. Much more chance of getting it stuck in a tree and forgetting about it than a Frisbee.

Nice tasty read. Get better soon.

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drej mumbles...

Posted July 20, 2009
Thats the problem with those aging hyperdrives, punching max warp always carries higher risk of suffering either some form of minor structural integrity failure as in your case, or even more embarrassingly, total loss of containment.

Best remember, "old age and treachery..."

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YB has opinions thus...

Posted July 20, 2009
A hammy can actually 'pop'. I've heard it. Two people vomited. All the best getting better, and enjoy the teev sessions. I'm on a paint miniatures and teev marathon due to being sidelined by the flu. Joy.

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Moko mumbles...

Posted July 20, 2009
Tough work being a Spartan sometimes.

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HAVOCK is gonna tell you...

Posted July 20, 2009
LMAO.... The good news.mmmmm. THERE IS NONE. But to impart some HARD FUCKING WON WISDOM, be prepared for the following.

1 He will at some point bowl a bouncer at you and almost take your head off.

2 A tackle ( football), will be laid, it won't be you doing the laying either, which WILL result in your arse being splattered on the ground.

3 A day is coming where the phrase, " You have to come home at some point", will be uttered by you, its a result o you no longer being FAST enough to catch the little shit.

We have not YET, hit the point where he can bench press more than me..alas, its approaching I suspect.

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MickH would have you know...

Posted July 20, 2009
so if the hammy is gone, it's off to the hospital for a stay?

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Flinthart ducks in to say...

Posted July 20, 2009
Owtch. Fortunately, I limit my competitive suff with the kids to the mats in the dojo, where experience really counts. I know better than to try and take 'em from a standing start...not the hams with me, but the knees.

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Bangar mutters...

Posted July 20, 2009
Ouch, at least it was in a good cause.

PS any thoughts on parallel importation of books? I'd have more respect for the idea if the buggers had gone after the GST on books first.

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Domestic Daze would have you know...

Posted July 20, 2009
So good to see another forty-cough loudly person growing old in such a wonderfully disgraceful way. Keep up the good work!

Hope the leg is on the mend for you.

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houyhnhnm@yahoo is gonna tell you...

Posted July 20, 2009
since i suspect that u r quadreped, rather than simian, and notwithstanding the obvious differences, i empathise, to the extent that that is possible. How's the hock? so to speak. However, one suspects that the efforts reulting in hamstring problem are a result of being hamstrung, by stubborn pride. "get thee behind, tarsal." Sorry, my tendon-ness appears to have departed prematurely

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savo has opinions thus...

Posted July 20, 2009
No fool etc.

Wait until the two of them work out, that by co-operating, they can bring down the old man.

You'll be on the plus side of 50...

snigger snigger snigger

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Patricia has opinions thus...

Posted July 20, 2009
JB - i have great tips for recuperating on that one:

[a] there's this dude in Sunnybank, does cupping and bleeds you - not as painful as it sounds and it works wonders name of Lewis Lee Accupuncture;

[b] go to a physio- a good one- my one is in Kelvin Grove and looks after the Broncos- Optima Sports Therapy ;

[c] yoga - there's actually a yoga physio out there try www.yogaphysio.com.au - you'll be back on you feet in no time.

I just did my ankle in on Saturday, and did the RICE thing, and yoga. I'm maintaining range of motion and flexibility with yoga and cycling, but hammies are another matter. Also seeing both my physio and my accunpuncturist. Be careful, at 45 it takes longer to heal

Happy 45 by the way!

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sparty puts forth...

Posted July 20, 2009
on the subject of sport...one nil, one nil, one nil .....

although you have my apologies on the catch Strauss claimed.....

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Murphy has opinions thus...

Posted July 20, 2009
Yeah, they ain't growin' replacement parts in tin buckets yet so one had best watch themselves as they advance past forty.

I'm getting there myself. Things don't heal quite the way they used to.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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NBlob is gonna tell you...

Posted July 21, 2009
Murph 20/7/09 22:42.

"growin’ replacement parts in tin buckets "

Please please please please please (ad nauseum)

C'mon - what's your VA hospitals doin over there? In Bobworld they're the goto guys for bit culture & replacement. *

With the cold my knee is starting to pain me - might be time to get some of the shark fin gear.

*Bobworld may or may not bear much in common with reality.

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HAVOCK mutters...

Posted July 21, 2009
Given the warnings now laid out here, I'm shocked i have done this and shall continue. Seems that with cricket season upon us, the gym set being firmly established in the shed an the fact the shed is CLEAN ( has been for a while shock horror), I have a the eldest pestering, taken up sessions with him on a nightly basis. THIS, started SUNDAY.

WTF went through my head I have NO FUCKING IDEA!, the WHOLE god dam body is killing me and we are due tonight AGAIN......THIS will end badly. But ya have to do it....

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HAVOCK mutters...

Posted July 21, 2009
I should also point out for those who have not perhaps observed such, that Injuries tend to occur more frequently the older you get. Now, whats not been noticed, or has but stated incorrectly is the JB is NOW, approaching 50, not 44, not 45, but approaching 50...... thats really starting to wind the OLD clock up a bit.

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Murphy ducks in to say...

Posted July 21, 2009
But Havoc, he doesn't seem that old. Hell, he glides across the floor like some rapper in a Spike Lee Movie.

Respects,

Murph

On the Outer Marches

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HAVOCK has opinions thus...

Posted July 21, 2009
Murph...that glidin shit...its the wheel chair, they only shoot him from the waist UP

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Steven Danno reckons...

Posted July 21, 2009
Have you noticed the inverse relationship between pain/suffering/disability and sympathy/tenderness/additional lurvin from our significant others? Not that in my case sympathy/tenderness/additional lurvin were ever on the cards anyway but are noticably even more absent in the case of serious and debilitating injury. The only caveat might be JB when the injury occurs while in the service of the War Office, instead of doing things designed to enhance enjoyment, fitness and healthy outdoor living that isnt gardening, house painting, digging holes cleaning up dog shit, transplanting perfectly happy giant shrubs, cleaning out gutters... an injury sustained in these pursuits would be because you weren't doing it properly...I don't mean to go on but sheeeeit..Good luck with your recovery, do you retain control of the remote? That is the final ignominy in my view when that is taken from us.

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Otto asserts...

Posted July 21, 2009
At 44 I decided to go back to cricket after 15 years off. Survived the first game - but could not walk for a week. Second was rained off, but the physio appointment was booked for the tennis elbow from batting practice. Third was a 1 day game at which I excelled by hitting some runs. On the last ball of the match, while trying for the winning run I tore my left calf muscle and right hamstring.

The physio laughed a lot on the Monday morning.....

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John Birmingham swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted July 21, 2009
Ah yes, Steven, those poor, happy stupid shrubs. Why can't they just be left alone?

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John Birmingham is gonna tell you...

Posted July 21, 2009
ROTFLMAO. My return to cricket lasted two hours, at a drunken bucks party. The next day I was in so much pain I could not even lift my head from the pillow.

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HAVOCK puts forth...

Posted July 21, 2009
yeah but I'll bet you were not training at that time either JB. Its the reason I have started the gym sessions already, I don't want a week off to recover from the FIRST training session. Squats will get incorporated next week or this keeper might end up pulling all sorts of muscles.

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John Birmingham mutters...

Posted July 21, 2009
Jumping box squats Mr Havock. There is no substitute for quality.

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NukemHill has opinions thus...

Posted July 22, 2009
Well, I guess I'm in good company. Shortly after bragging about my wonderful exercise program, I torqued my back. I've been on and off the regimen for the last 2 1/2 weeks. I'm going back tonight for the first time in a week. Hopefully, it'll go well.

It really sucks, because part of the point of my exercising is to strengthen my back so as to avoid fucking it up!!!!.

Yeah. How's that workin' out for you Greg?

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