Cheeseburger Gothic

A truly horrifying writing app

Posted January 29, 2016 into Writing by John Birmingham

I can't believe I'm going to buy this thing and actually try use it. Flowstate. A writing app. First, I already have more than enough writing apps on my desktop and other iDevices to keep a basement full of monkeys cranking out War and Peace sequels for a year. Second, this thing is... frightening.

It's designed to promote 'focus' and focus is good, right? But it doesn't just depend on a full screen environment; it deltes what you've written if you stop writing for mre than five seconds.

Five fucking seconds!

I stopped for about half a minute in that second par just to ponder an awkward piece of phrasing. I'd have lost the lot. Bad enough after a couple of lines. Can you imagine the howls if you actually did crank out the words for half an hour and then lost them all?

((Shudder)).

Anyway. The whole thing is so crackbrained I can't help myself. I have to give it a try. I'm including a link to the app store so that I can at least get a couple of bucks back via my own associate payment. I don't recommend anyone else try this at home.

21 Responses to ‘A truly horrifying writing app’

Murphy_of_Missouri would have you know...

Posted January 29, 2016
No, I think Kung Fury is what we needed.

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Lulu swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted January 29, 2016
Five seconds??? To quote Truman Capote, "That's not writing, that's typing."

MuttsInc puts forth...

Posted February 23, 2016
if you read between the lines (that'll be humorous in a tic) you'll observe the rationale for an instructional (re)exploration of methamphetamine and a user-friendly sequel to the classic, this being - 'On The Road, (Part Two) If I Stop I'll Lose It'

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insomniac mumbles...

Posted January 29, 2016
Are you going to go for the 30 minute option?

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted January 29, 2016
Gah! You made me lose everything!

insomniac mutters...

Posted January 29, 2016
I'm all for trivial solutions, so perhaps holding down a little used key like slash or a number while you are thinking would be a solution to losing everything. When your time is up, do a search and replace on that keystroke.

Dave W mutters...

Posted January 29, 2016
Tired-one, that sounds like a true public servant work-around.

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Stephen swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted January 29, 2016
Have you ever tried Write or Die? writeordie.com
Sounds like a similar idea, but not quite as likely to lose your work (though there is a Kamikazi mode).

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HAVOCK21 would have you know...

Posted January 29, 2016
yeah...well something tells me that this might not be good for me, the computer or the fkn software maker!!

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GhostSwirv reckons...

Posted January 30, 2016

Double GAAAHHH!!!
Using that freakin' app its taken me three days to type this response!

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Babes mutters...

Posted February 2, 2016
I think I'll hold out for the app that has a cute little person pop up every time you write another hundred words that says varying iterations of, "That was brilliant!/I am in awe of your remarkable talent!/the masses will be clamoring to read this!/etc." ;-)

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted February 2, 2016
Yeah, that I'd pay fifteen bucks for.

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jennicki mumbles...

Posted February 3, 2016
I am trying so hard to write a novel, JB. But I seem to have developed ADD around the same time smartphone and Netflix appeared on the horizon.
Surely just a coinky-dink.

John Birmingham would have you know...

Posted February 3, 2016
Shirley.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan would have you know...

Posted February 3, 2016
I wrote a novel, Jenni. No one liked it. But I don't care what they think. In my heart I know I write good.

damian is gonna tell you...

Posted February 3, 2016
I've recently learned that you need to use a coffee cup to weigh a smartphone down when you put it in a sink full of water.

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jennicki would have you know...

Posted February 3, 2016
I get the shakes when I'm too far from my smartphone.
I would read your novel, PNB. Fo sho.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted February 4, 2016
Great. Just great. Another person who hasn't read Sex Slaves of the Congo by Jason Dante (my pen name)....

I am getting very tired of my continuing lack of literary celebrity.

GhostSwirv mumbles...

Posted February 4, 2016

Was that you?

I thought you were Jarryd Diamonte who penned the semi-autobiography Sex Slaves of the Mongrels?

insomniac is gonna tell you...

Posted February 4, 2016
OMG PNB! That was you? I loved that book! I thought the scene between Lumumba and Dikembe was especially poignant. And that escapee lass with her alcoholic dog was genius.

Paul_Nicholas_Boylan mumbles...

Posted February 4, 2016
I am told that it has been said that Lumumba and Dikembe are an edgy postmodern Troilus and Criseyde. I have no idea what that means, but I am taking it as a compliment.

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