Cheeseburger Gothic

That time I smoked cones with a blue koala

Posted April 4, 2016 into Blunty by John Birmingham

Sometimes, you just gotta go early to catch the news.

“Dude, seriously, let me pack that cone. You got no thumbs.”

Borobi squinted at me through the thick haze of weed smoke.

“Don’t patronise me, JB,” he muttered. “I’m special now, bro. You gotta show some respect.”

But he was already three buckets into the wind and it took him a long time time to say this, what with all the coughing and wheezing getting distracted by his breakfast beer.

He necked the last half of the beer in one long pull, belched enormously, and fell back against the front of the brown couch. Traffic roared past outside our flat at Nobby’s but Rob’ didn’t hear it. He just lay there on the floor contentedly drumming his fat, greasy paws on the matted and filthy blue fur of his grossly distended belly.

At Blunty.

9 Responses to ‘That time I smoked cones with a blue koala’

Quokka swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 4, 2016
A shame they didn't choose the mountain possum on 'roids.

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Dave W has opinions thus...

Posted April 4, 2016
See, this is what happens when you don't crowd-source your mascot or its name.

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pitpat has opinions thus...

Posted April 4, 2016
And people say we don't do classy.At least it isn't subtle.

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pitpat has opinions thus...

Posted April 4, 2016
And people say we don't do classy.At least it isn't subtle.Maybe seen as a bit of a liability once his addictions become more widely known, even less so once his lack of sexual health is revealed.

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JG puts forth...

Posted April 4, 2016
Well I'm shocked, Borobi. You looked so light, fit, and fresh faced on the news tonight. It's a pity I missed you dropping in at Burleigh Heads as I was swimming at that very spot yesterday, and running past there this afternoon. I like your big ears and bright blue look, and I can't believe you're a sloth. No, I won't believe JB. You are too nimble and fast moving, Borobi. I can't believe you are a slothful koala unless I see it for myself. Joanna



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Adam Denny mumbles...

Posted April 4, 2016
Them Bucket Minions huddle in the shadowing backstreets behind San Francisco tenement buildings, the only thing that pisses them off when some out of the towner reckons there's some cos playing girl trapped inside the fur. That golden medical marijuana card clutched between their jaws just begging to be stolen, so you as well can get ripped enough to reckon maybe The Phantom Menace wasn't so bad after all. Only those jaws come down, and the snort of surrounding giggles is loud enough to block the sound of tourist screaming. Then the Bucket Minions pass the Bong Trooper Helmet, for your pain to melllow while they find recompense in your wallet. Next thing you know your back on Market Street, them minions be gone.

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Bondiboy66 mutters...

Posted April 5, 2016
What the fuck is it about Big Games like the Olympics/Commonwealth Games that they have to have one or more positively ridiculous mascots? Often looking like the product of a big night on the piss and charlie from some second rate ad firm's art department...what, they think they are going to flog off more merchandise with the daft mascot included (possibly making enough to pay off the overpriced ad co.s art department)?

Oh, and I dunno whats up with the BT comments thing...but it don't work for me.

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GhostSwirv asserts...

Posted April 5, 2016
So the Navy had to winch Robbo into position for the presser cos he was toooooo maggoted to move off the couch under his own steam - I just wanna know how you got home JB, an UBER hovercraft or did you simply wait till Robbo was airlifted to safety before dropping the clutch and driving your self-drive couch home to the burbs?

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dweeze has opinions thus...

Posted April 5, 2016
Bring back "Fatso, the fat arsed wombat".

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