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Game of Thrones Raven On Recap S6E7: The Broken Man

Posted June 7, 2016 into Raven On by girlclumsy

Beloved Throners! I’m so happy, I don’t even know where to begin.

What a spankingly delicious episode of Game of Thrones. I just adored every minute of it. Even now my cheeks are flushed with pleasure, my teeth are sparkling like they’ve just been through a minty fresh car wash, and I just want to run into the wild, spin in circles and sing like Maria Von Trapp on nitrous oxide.

This may have been somewhat inspired by the hillside setting for the Hillsong Church, headed by none other than Ian ‘Al Swearengen’ McShane himself, finally turning up as a reformed fighter turned pastor in a rare pre-credit sequence.

Not since The Pillars of the Earth have I been so chuffed to see Ian McShane hanging around a cathedral construction site.

It was too bad it all ended so soon, as I was looking forward to having those baby blue peepers around for a while. But then, he had a role to play, and that role was to let a certain doggy off the leash.

Damn all of you who said The Hound wasn’t dead. He was left for dead. He looked pretty dead. I was CERTAIN he was going to be dead. But then I also thought Ned Stark was going to find a way off that chopping block right up to the point where his head was snicked off so we all know how much my opinion’s worth.

We’ll get back to our remix of the Baha Men’s 2000 classic shortly, because it was just one glorious strawberry on the cream pie that was this episode.

Kate Middleton and roses! Olenna slagging off Cersei! Jon and Sansa’s Magical Mystery Tour! Captain Darling! Yara the Power Lesbian! The Kingslayer V The Blackfish! Bronn! F***ing Bronn, people!

Yes, it was an episode in which all of our broken and beleagured heroes slowly started putting themselves back together - or open themselves up to a bit more damage.

S6E7: The Broken Man

Let’s deal first with that reveal of The Hound of the Axe-O-Skills. The pre-credit sequence showed hearty country folk doing the Westeros equivalent of an Amish barn-raising: building a new sept. It was like the start of a Disney movie, with apple-cheeked kiddies playing with daisies, and women probably named Daisy chopping up apples.

As groups of men strode past hoisting wood on their shoulders, we noticed one man powering along solo, a mighty log on his back, not even vaguely troubled by its weight.

Eventually he drops it, looks up, and turns, to show first the burnt side of his head, then his face.

Woof!

It turns out The Hound, as opposed to dying where Brienne left him after their fierce battle at the end of season four, was picked up by Ian McShane, who thought he was dead until he coughed.

Somehow Sandor Clegane survived, which Ian McShane has interpreted to mean the gods still have plans for him.

He’s a refreshing sort of preacher, this one, as unlike the High Sparrow he doesn’t pretend to know all the answers. He even suggests the Seven - whose pointed star he wears around his neck - may not be the “right” god/s. Such blasphemy does not offend Clegane, someone who spits on the concept of religion. However Ian McShane is not demanding penitence, or naked shame walks, or converting others. He just wants to spread the good in the world. And for someone with so much hate in them (he even credits it for keeping him alive), that’s a bit of an eye-opener.

"Don't you see? It's all tits and dragons."

Sadly all this positivity (and did you notice the musical score under that pre-credit sequence was the Game of Thrones theme in a major key? So. Freaky.) could not last. Not even for more than one episode, dagnabbit.

For the Brotherhood Without Banners came a-calling, and despite the Hound’s warnings, Ian McShane did not take any precautions to protect his flock, even offering to break bread with them.

You have to wonder what would have happened had Clegane been there when the raiding party arrived, as opposed to being off chopping firewood like a man possessed. He probably could have taken out a fair few of them, but eventually he would be cut down. Instead, he has to look upon the corpses of the men, women and children - simple, unarmed folk - and know their deaths must be paid for. As he stood staring into the bulging eyes of the dead septon, his purpose in life all of a sudden became clear - justice. Or if not justice, revenge.

In the Game of Thrones world, being broken ain't necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes that break gives you the ability to do things others can't, or won't.

With no Brienne in sight, Tormund has finally started speaking with comprehensible words again, as opposed to casting goo-goo eyes in the direction of the warrior from Tarth and seductively gumming a meat tray.

He’s totes backing Jon Snow in as the Lord of the Man Bun appeals to the Wildlings to join their fight against the BOO HISS BOLTONS. The Wildlings are worried they’ll be wiped out, meaning no more Free Folk. Well, says Tormund, Jon Snow died for us, so he’s basically Jesus, and if we don’t reciprocate, maybe we should be the last Free Folk. Oh, (ginger) snap.

"This is all a metophor for Brexit, isn't it?"

Stampy signals his approval with a grunt and a walk-off, and the other red-headed Wildling shakes Jon’s hand. It’s a deal, and with that Jon, Sansa and Ser Davos are off on a whistlestop tour to recruit more warriors to their cause.

Roll up, roll up!

Their first stop was Bear Island, where the revelation of Lady Mormont as a teeny wee girlie was quite possibly the best visual gag ever seen in Game of Thrones.

Jon, Sansa and Davos all looked suitably embarrassed to be seeking an audience with a One Directioner, but Lady Mormont quickly put their prejudices to rest by going 100 per cent Hermione Granger on their collective ass.

“My mother wasn’t a great beauty, or any other kind of beauty,” she snaps, rejecting Sansa’s proffered compliment that she would grow up a looker. “She was a great warrior though. She died fighting for your brother Robb.”

Aaaaaaawwwwwwkward.

Jon doesn’t fair much better when he tries bigging up her uncle, the late Jeor, Commander of the Night’s Watch.

“I think we’ve had enough small talk. Why are you here?”

My beloveds, I just fell in love - in a totally age-appropriate way, may I add - with Hermione Granger. Such sass. Such authority! I am more than *ahem* times her age and can only dream of such badassery. She makes Hillary Clinton look like Sleeping f***ing Beauty. Say No to the Bernie Bros: Lady Mormont for President!

Accio Shut the The Hell Up

Hermione Granger was in no mood to truck with idiots wanting her to sacrifice the good people of Bear Island to some foolish squabble between noble houses. It took Davos Seaworth, once again showing why he’s King of the Kids, to bring her around.

The Onion Knight cited his own recent conversion to the way of the warrior, and summed up by saying that Jeor Mormont and Jon Snow knew the truth: that the only war that mattered was between the living and dead. “And make no mistake, my lady, the dead are coming.” OoooOOOOoooh, drop mic, DJ OK.

Once Davos convinced Lady Mormont that recapturing Winterfell was the only way to ensure a united North, which was the only way to stand a chance against the White Walkers, Jon asked how many fighting men they could expect from the noble Bear Island.

There was a pause as the punchline came looming up towards us like a drunken grizzly, the word PUNCHLINE shorn into its shaggy coat, and a half-eaten Salmon Rushdie pun dangling from its mouth. But that didn’t stop the confident reply of “62” producing such gut laughter in me, I’ll be drinking Yakult for days to replenish.

Still, they fared better with 62 Fighting Bears (good name for a gay club, by the way) than they did on their next stop: Deepwood Motte, the home of the Glovers.

My foster kittens were rather startled when about two seconds after Lord Glover appeared onscreen I started yelling “Darling! Captain Darling! Look, it’s Captain Darling!” like a mad woman. Yes, it appears Tim McInnerny, aka Lord Percy from Blackadder II and Captain Darling from Blackadder Goes Forth is the latest familiar face from the British acting fraternity to strap on a leather jerkin and step into Game of Thrones.

If I can just have an aside - I know Fawlty Towers is technically flawless and I know Yes Minister is the sharpest satire ever, but Blackadder still has my heart as the best British sitcom of all time. Sure, it has an unfairly maligned first season, and sure, it ticks all my particular history buttons. But with characters like Queenie and the baby-eating Bishop of Bath and Wells, and Prince George and his Enormous Trousers, and General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett KCB and Lord Flashheart and lines like “I have a cunning plan” and “Great Boo’s Up” and “I trust you didn’t forget to remove the crumpet” - come on, people. It’s gold.

Anyway back to Lord Glover. He’s a bit of a sourpuss grumpy face, which is probably attributable to the fact that his house sigil is a fist emoji. It’s possible he’s going for the Hunter S. Thompson gonzo journalism feel, but it looks more like they’re saying “Cross us, and we’ll fist you!” which is too sexually adventurous to be completely intimidating.

I mean really, a glove? For Glover? Given the Direwolf of Stark and the Flayed Man of Bolton, it really is an unimaginative effort.

Even a fistbump would at have a bit more street cred.

Sansa tries to pull the old “You pledged your honour to the Starks, bitch, now whaddup?” to get him to come onboard their Anti-Bolton Crusading Coalition (ABCC) but Glover isn’t having it. He’s seen his stronghold captured by salty Ironborn, his family tortured and his brother slain on the altar of Robb Stark, and he’s had enough. All in all, Glover’s refusal basically boils down to the phrase “I’m getting too old for this shit,” which is pleasantly ironic indeed.

Back at camp, Sansa is so unimpressed with the motley crew they’ve assembled you’d think she’d be happier with the actual Mötley Crüe. At least Tommy Lee could have made some interesting home videos.

She wants to keep pressing the flesh with one-time Stark bannermen, but Jon is adamant that they attack Winterfell before they lose momentum. Of course, he then has to stop their conversation to go help Davos break up a fight between some random soldier jocks, because the testosterone is running rampant in the cold weather. Yes, don’t stop that momentum whatever you do, Jon.

"Gotta go, sis. Some gym dudebros are fighting over the squat machine again."

The Magical Mystery Tour concludes with Sansa penning a message to someone, with the camera helpfully obscuring the “To” part of the note. But all we have to do is listen to that musical underscore - yep, it’s the Petyr Baelish theme. Earlier, Sansa had responded to Lady Mormont’s rebuke that she was a Lannister or a Bolton by saying she did what she had to do to survive. Now, despite her best intentions, she’s having to do it again. Careful Sansa. You have been healing and fighting so well. I would hate to see Littlefinger slip between your cracks. Oh wow, I meant that line to sound ominous and foreboding, but I’ve just creeped myself out.

There was a touching scene in wherever the hell it was the Greyjoys were this week (Lys? Volantis?). Many touchings, in fact, as it was revealed that Yara is a Power Lesbian, aka Dyke From Pyke. I felt somewhat conflicted as I cheered on her heavy petting of a prostitute. I mean, I love that she’s a take-charge babe, but she could have been a tad more respectful. Lead by example Yara. But then I suppose Theon was always quite the aggressor with the ladies, so maybe it’s just genetic.

Not that Theon’s feeling the party vibe much, which prompts Yara to send her bit of rumpy-pumpy away for a moment so she can have a Moment with her baby bro. Yara wants to get away from their marauding Uncle Euron as fast as possible, strike a deal with Daenarys first, then scurry back to retake the Iron Islands. She needs the real Theon, not the broken Reek, to be by her side to make sure justice is served. When Theon flinches, she changes the name of the game. Revenge, not justice.

Spurred on by Yara’s drinking game, Theon skulls his ale until finally he meets her gaze steadily for the first time since they reunited. There’s an amazing transformation in Theon’s face, and Yara seals this renewed connection with a sisterly kiss on the forehead. Then she cheerily announces she’s off to “f**k the tits off that one”. Stay classy, Ironborn.

"Barkeep, make mine a Screaming Orgasm."

In King’s Landing, the High Sparrow is getting rather personal with Kate Middleton, who apparently isn’t doing enough by learning the Book of the Mother off by heart - she should be actively trying to become a mother herself. Yes, the High Sparrow chastises her for her chasteness, which she explains by saying her conversion has knocked her for sex. I mean, six.

In praising her, Big Bird warns that her grandmother Olenna, the Queen of Thorns, ought to follow her lead to live a more noble life, as she’s an out and out sinner. Margaery seeks to bestow some of this wisdom to her Gran at a subsequent meeting, which Margaery’s unsmiling jailer Septa monitors like a teacher at a school dance full of 14-year-olds.

Finally, in pleading with Olenna to go home to Highgarden, Margaery finally confirms what we’ve all suspected/known as plain as day - that she’s in the middle of the most intense method acting preparation since Daniel Day Lewis in Lincoln. Wore those stove pipe hats everywhere, he did. Even got himself shot at the theatre for realism. Also because he was seeing a production of Cats at the time and BOOM take that Cats you jumped-up excuse for a show.

Anyway, it was a joy to see that little spark in Margaery’s eyes as she buried a scrap of paper into Olenna’s lap. Outside the room, the Queen of Thorns unwrapped it to reveal a rose, growing strong, as always. Margaery is the reed, ever bending, never broken. Like grandmother, like granddaughter.

As Olenna makes plans to get away before the “shoeless zealot” can throw her in Black Cell, Cersei makes another attempt to butter her up, apologising for unleashing the Faith Militant on them all, and pleading that they work together.

"Oh hell no."

Olenna’s speech in reply is a searing, savage takedown of Cersei that would have left a weaker person on the floor in a gibbering mess. I know I was, and it wasn’t even aimed at me. It’s something of a tribute to Cersei’s ego that she can hear slings like “I wonder if you’re the worst person I’ve ever met… the truly vile do stand out through the years” and “You’ve lost Cersei… it’s the only joy I can find in all this misery” and not collapse in a heap. Still, Olenna seems intent on leaving Cersei to fight it out alone. Except Cersei, as we know, has The Mountain. Now there’s a Humpty Dumpty success story.

All hail the return of Bronn! Everybody’s favourite everything is back, as quippy as ever, as just as comfortable in his bromance with Jaime as he was with Tyrion way back when. Geez, imagine if those three ever team up again. I don’t think the fan fiction writers could handle it. And by fan fiction writers, I mean me. Yes, that’s right, my soaring self-published opus Sexy Game of Thrones Characters Have Sexy Times While You Watch will be out soon for 89 cents a download.

As a newly minted knight, it’s Bronn’s duty to accompany Jaime and 8000 Lannister men to the Riverlands to retake Riverrun from Brynden Tully. The former sellsword is not super impressed by this turn of events, particularly since Jaime tries to wheel out the old “A Lannister always pays his debts” excuse for why he can’t yet have his fancy house and posh bride.

"Don't f***ing say it."

On arrival, they discover the Freys carrying out the most disappointing siege since Steven Seagal circa 1995 (On a train? Why, Steven, why?)

Not even the threat of killing Edmure Tully moves the Blackfish. He doesn’t really care about Edmure anyway, and besides, the Freys are all bluff.

Jaime, however, is more serious. He takes charge of the blockade and organises a parly with the Blackfish, which occurs in splendid fashion on the very drawbridge protecting the castle.

Brynden is ferociously calm, a study in carefully calculated risks and the wariness engendered by a lifetime of fighting entitled morons. “We’ve got supplies to last two years… do you?” he growls at Jaime, who can’t understand why his opponent agreed to a discussion when he had no intention of surrendering. “Sieges are dull,” is the Blackfish’s droll reply. “I wanted to get the measure of you… and I’m disappointed.” It must be all very frustrating for Jaime, whose name and reputation used to mean a damn thing around here. Now he’s just a toy soldier, performing dumbshow.

Unless he decides to get the trebuchets out next week. Then it could get interesting.

I remain conflicted about how the Riverrun stand-off should end. I’m certainly pro-Blackfish and would hate to see the Freys back in charge, but it would also be nice to see Jaime have some kind of win here. Or at the very least, for him not to be punished too much for not taking the fortress back.

Over in Braavos, a happy Arya Stark, freshly reunited with both name and Needle, is looking for a way to get back home.

She happens upon a Westerosi sailor and throws him a few heavy bags of coins to ship out at dawn and have a cabin at the ready for her. Everything is coming up Stark House.

Meanwhile, all we’re doing is searching the faces in the crowd and wondering which one will be the Waif, game face on, ready to stabby stabby. It turns out to be the fragile old lady, because of course it is. Arya cops a nasty few stabs to the abdomen, before thankfully fighting back and hurling herself off the bridge. Seeing enough blood in the water to lure Jaws out of retirement, the Waif is happy with a job done. But Arya emerges, gasping, conveniently near some steps onto the bank.

Dripping with blood and shivering with cold, she walks through the streets, past market stall holders and shoppers, with everyone staring but nobody helping. What is to become of her? Her stab wounds looked pretty serious - we know she is tougher than a rhinoceros hide attempting to sing “Roar” by Katy Perry at karaoke, but still, she’s not immortal. OR IS SHE? No really, that’s not a joke, I’m genuinely interested in whether her induction into the Faceless Men gave her any sort of Wolverine-style healing factor.

Yay! Best Moments

Clearly Hermione Granger crushing all before her was platinum slay.

Zing! Best Lines

Jaime: Get word to the Blackfish. I want a parly.
Bronn: A parly or a fight?
Jaime: He’s an old man.
Bronn: You’ve got one hand. My money’s on the old boy.

Eww, gross

Everything about the Freys is just skin-crawlingly gross. It’s like the whole family’s money goes on supporting Walder Frey’s disgusting tribe of offspring that they all wear hand-me-down clothes and roll in mud for a bath. When Jaime turned up at their siege HQ - aka a bog field on the banks of the Trident - I couldn’t have cheered more when he slapped the Freys in charge down, both figuratively and literally. Get some deodorant and braces, you skeevy bastards.

Boo, sucks

No Tyrion two weeks running? Surely there is some sort of law against an absence of Tyrion for that long? Also no Daenarys and dragons, no Sam and Gilly, no Bran and Benjen? Also - does anyone remember Dorne? There was a power shift there early on this season, but we’ve not heard much of it since. Oh well. Onwards, to next week!

Thank you so much for joining me again this week. I can't wait to read your comments and thoughts, either here on the 'Burger, or via my Facebook page: www.facebook.com/nataliesthrone

The Patreon campaign that I've been running this season has just been the most amazing thing to see. If you like the recaps and wish to become a patron, you can sign up and pledge the suggested $1 per recap. Here's the link: www.patreon.com/girlclumsy. We're getting dangerously close to doing a live recap in full GoT costume; and I've also put up a ridiculous stretch goal that you can check out.

Valar Morghulis!

65 Responses to ‘Game of Thrones Raven On Recap S6E7: The Broken Man’

Sambit has opinions thus...

Posted June 7, 2016
I think I saw Gendry in about two shots when we see Arya walking back after being stabbed. The boy in the background, does it seem like it's Gendry? What do you think? http://imgur.com/a/sF7lo

BillBixby219 reckons...

Posted June 7, 2016
as much as i want to see him again, i don't believe this is Robert's bastard

girlclumsy asserts...

Posted June 7, 2016
I will have to forensically analyse the footage tonight!

Respond to this thread

Mrs Darling ducks in to say...

Posted June 7, 2016
Yay! I'm so glad I'm not the only one delighted to see Tim McInnerny. And thank you for writing exactly how I feel about the majesty of Blackadder, and the many delicious quotes that followed the rest of the recap thereafter. It made my night.

To finally see Ian McShane and then have him die in the same episode. What a waste of Ian McShane! More Captain Darling, more Ian McShane and Lyanna Mormont as a main character please!

With the reintroduction of the Brotherhood without Banners, I'm wondering if this is a sly way to introduce Lady Stoneheart (or Gendry again finally). I know they mentioned her story wasn't going to be in it, but they also mentioned that Jon Snow was dead.

xServer puts forth...

Posted June 7, 2016
Well, technically Jon Snow was dead so it wasn't really a lie (although I think that they also said that he wasn't coming back so that WAS a lie).

I also hope this means we get Lady Stoneheart. It was such a big thing, I can't believe they would cut it out completely.

Ken Father of Dire Wolves swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 7, 2016
Black Adder rules. That is all.

girlclumsy mutters...

Posted June 7, 2016
Truth.

Respond to this thread

Andrea mumbles...

Posted June 7, 2016
I screamed "It's Percy!", myself.

All we need now is Tony Robinson somewhere.

Hahahahahaha ducks in to say...

Posted June 7, 2016
Yes!

SweatyJester ducks in to say...

Posted June 7, 2016
As a Frey!

"I have a cunning plan..."

girlclumsy would have you know...

Posted June 7, 2016
My response was probably more accurately a garbled mix of Percy-Darling-Percy-Percy-look-at-you-Darling. :)

flöki snöw puts forth...

Posted June 7, 2016
We need General Melchett to turn up at the siege, bahhh....

Ken Father of Dire Wolves is gonna tell you...

Posted June 7, 2016
I'll be on the lookout for Tony Robinson, probably in a mud filled market place collecting rat shit and spit to roast up for his cappuccino stall.

Respond to this thread

xServer mutters...

Posted June 7, 2016
First, I can't believe Arya wasn't on-guard enough to catch the old lady saying "a girl..." at her. I knew immediately that it was the damn Waif. But no, she just lets herself get stabbed over and over. Arg!

If she dies I will burn this mothah DOWN!

Ah-hem, I mean, I will be very disappointed.

I was hoping for more than a one-episode appearance by Ian McShane but what we got was wonderful so I guess I'll take it. Whatever it takes to get the Hound back in play...

I have no mixed feeling about Jaimie's endeavor: I hope he fails. Badly. I loathe the Freys and with Brienne on her way to Riverrun you know it's going to come to Brienne v Jaimie and if he cuts down Brienne then I AM GOING TO BURN THIS MOTHAH DOWN!!

Erm, excuse me, I mean: I will be very, very disappointed.

Holding out hope that Lady Stoneheart is in the offing. Holding out more hope that Tormienne is something that happens in the wake of the defeat of the Boo-Hiss Boltons.

What a great season. I can't believe how fast it's going!

Barnesm asserts...

Posted June 7, 2016
I wonder if they have swapped the character of Lady Stoneheart to Arya after her near fatal wounding and falling into the water.

xServer swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 7, 2016
I think we're getting the true Lady Stoneheart. I know, the showrunners (and GRR Martin) have said no but I don't believe them. All signs are pointing towards her appearance. Even the Brotherhood are showing up again, and with a new, take-no-prisoners approach to things.

girlclumsy puts forth...

Posted June 7, 2016
I know the basic theory of Lady Stoneheart, but I haven't got to that point in the books yet, so it's all very mysterious. :)

Respond to this thread

Trevor Pyle asserts...

Posted June 7, 2016
That. Was not. Arya.









It was Jaquen.

1: Hair parted in the center
2: Bags full of money being tossed around.
3:"Arya's" confident air when dealing with the captain
4: walking around, confidently, when she knew she was on the run
5: Arya is left handed. "Arya" wasn't
6: NO NEEDLE

Jaquen is testing the waif. The waif failed.
A man still owes Arya Stark a life.

This was not Arya, but Arya will avenge that death.

xServer asserts...

Posted June 7, 2016
...I didn't get that AT ALL....what a fascinating hypothesis. Can Arya's face be used by someone else? She hasn't died or had it removed (don't they have to physically remove it to add it to the vault?)

I'm not sure I buy this theory but it will be very interesting to watch next week to find out!

Trevor Pyle has opinions thus...

Posted June 7, 2016
Arya saw her own face on the corpse right before she was blinded. So I'm assuming that Jaquen has some sort of super powers.

xServer is gonna tell you...

Posted June 7, 2016
Hmm, yes, I had forgotten that. And Jaquen was the Waif and then himself in that scene too. So...wow. It's possible. And if there is no true Jaquen then he cannot really die. Because he is no one. (I think the Waif can die, though, as she seems to hold too tightly to her disapproval to ever release her self in a true way). Like I said, I will be interested to see next week's episode!

girlclumsy puts forth...

Posted June 7, 2016
OK, freaky, what a theory!

So Jaqen went out disguised as Arya - but why book passage home? Just to convince the Waif, whom he knew was following him, that it was Arya and she should go stabby-stabby?

There seem to be a few people now suggesting that Arya wasn't Arya. And maybe Arya was wearing the Waif's face. TOO MANY FACES.

she_jedi would have you know...

Posted June 7, 2016
OMFG. I spent that whole scene watching Arya strolling around Braavos like a suicidal idiot wondering where the hell Needle was. NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE. If this comes to pass mind = totally blown.

MB's 2 cents asserts...

Posted June 7, 2016
It was Arya in control the whole time, doing an Elvis and faking her own death to get the faceless men to step off her blue suede shoes. She knew they would be coming no matter where she went.

girlclumsy is gonna tell you...

Posted June 7, 2016
So she was both herself AND the old woman? I'm confused.

Ken Father of Dire Wolves mumbles...

Posted June 7, 2016
Ooooh, amazing and tantalising theory. Jaqen did say Arya has many talents.

MB's 2 cents mutters...

Posted June 7, 2016
No I reckon there's no secret faces (except the waif's which we saw), and no Jaqen involved. Just Arya channelling Mission Impossible with a stock standert fake death bridge fall. She knew she was going to get hit, and she worked to control the circumstances of when and where it happened.
For bonus points I'm going with she used fake blood from the Mummers, and she never intended to get on that ship.

Respond to this thread

Barnesm swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 7, 2016
Another wonderful recap, the only drawback is that it's so satisfying and full it leaves little for us readers to respond with other than to ask for permission to shout BRAVO in an annoyingly loud volume.

BRAVO.

Ever since you discovered that in episode one Petyr Baelish's theme played while they looked over the body of Jon Arryn you have been keeping an ear on it.

girlclumsy ducks in to say...

Posted June 7, 2016
I have to credit that Game of Thrones trivia night for really alerting me to Baelish's theme. I knew some of the grander themes, well, but I'd never paid attention to Baelish's before.

And it's not that I was listening out for it - it's more that as I was recapping I thought "I wonder if...." and double checked and yep, it was there. I guess it's just raised my Littlefinger awareness. :)

Respond to this thread

Véronique of House Stark ducks in to say...

Posted June 7, 2016
Dear Mother of Kittens, I am in awe! Your recapping prowess just continues to grow. I had no idea Petyr Baelish had a theme! I will clearly have to listen more carefully. That and the major key GoT theme. I am a musician and I'm not paying close enough attention!

So much goodness, so much scariness. Who couldn't love the young Lady Lyanna Mormont? Disabused Sansa of her sexism, she did. According to IMDB, that was the actress's first screen role. Great start! Also, Hermione Granger. Brilliant! Love how the silver-tongued Ser Davos saved the day again, even though it netted them only 62 bear warriors.

So lovely to see Bronn again. And hear him, of course, since he always gets the best lines, such as that now that he is a knight and not a sellsword he no longer gets paid. Ye gods, I hate Freys. They're so stupid that they would probably be easy to get rid of if there weren't so many of them. But now that the Late Walder Frey has reappeared, perhaps it's time to refer to him as Filch? In keeping with the Harry Potter theme?

Okay, it was kind of good to see the Hound again too. Very Rasputin-like of him to survive the ass-whuppin' that Brienne gave him. The body count continues to rise, but some people are hard to kill. Like Arya, hopefully. But please, please, for the love of kittens and dragons, please do NOT have Lady Stoneheart return. Bad enough that the Brotherhood Without Banners is back. They're not supposed to be bad guys!

So many Arya theories, so few episodes left. I did wonder about the absence of Needle though. Hidden again? Or is something askew on treadle? In that world, I never believe anything!

Soooooo glad that Kate Middleton is not, in fact, a Moonie. But Big Bird telling her that she should lie back and think of Highgarden -- bleah! If he's so astute, he should know that the king is in fact a cute but horribly inbred Lannister bastard with no claim to the throne, so that line should not continue.

girlclumsy puts forth...

Posted June 7, 2016
"Lie back and think of Highgarden" - OK, totes gold, I wish I had thought of that one!

And yes, the music is something I've become a bit more attuned to this season. Turns out it gives out loads of clues!

Lady EFL mutters...

Posted June 7, 2016
Am I wrong or hasn't Bronn been a knight since season 2? Isn't he 'Sir Bronn of the Blackwater' for everything he did during Stannis' attack on Kingslanding?

girlclumsy ducks in to say...

Posted June 7, 2016
Yeah, but I think he's still waiting on the perks. :)

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PM mumbles...

Posted June 7, 2016
Am I alone in thinking that Cersei is placing far too much confidence in her plan to have the zombified Mountain win the trial by combat? She gets a little shit-eating grin on her face every time the plan is mentioned and the Gods (or actually the show's writers/producers) rarely allow that level of hubris to go unpunished. I think Big Bird has a rude shock awaiting for her.

BornBad asserts...

Posted June 7, 2016
An intriguing theory I have heard is that in a trial by combat, the High Sparrow could call King Tommen to be his champion. Where would that leave Cersei then, with Zombie Mountain vs dear son Tommen? Get Zombie to lose, thus proving her guilty, or have Zombie win, and have her last remaining child killed to prove her innocence! That could see Cersei stumble into a spiral of insanity very quickly.

Joffrey's Heimlich Manouevre reckons...

Posted June 7, 2016
Oooh, I like that one. To see that I'd even sacrifice CleganeBowl (Big Bird uses the Hound as his champion in trial by combat, against Cersei's Zombie Mountain).
And I was really looking forward to CleganeBowl.

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flöki snöw mutters...

Posted June 7, 2016
A marvelous recap MoK. All well and good Jaime giving the Freys a bollocking, last time he led an army he got beaten, captured and lost a hand, i don't think he'll fair much better against the Blackfish to be honest. And the hound, oww, owwww, owwwww.

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girlclumsy is gonna tell you...

Posted June 7, 2016
Oh yeah, as Stu always points out in the podcasts, Cersei cannot help but make terrible mistake after terrible mistake.

With the Hound now returned, could he in fact be ready to take on his zombified older bro?

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wendyemily puts forth...

Posted June 7, 2016
Is it just me or can anyone else not wait to see Big Bird get skewered? I really, really hate religious fanatics even in my fantasy TV shows. As much as I loath Cersei and the Lannisters in general (not Tyrion, of course, never the Imp) I am so sick of the Nut Jobs running the asylum.
I want someone to kick their collective asses. Seeing Kate Middleton finally show she is still the same under the docile façade has made me think that she may indeed have a "cunning plan". We can hope. Or will we have to wait for the Mother of Dragons and her Dothraki followers to kick some Big Bird ass? Time will tell.

Interesting to see how many more warriors Jon and Sansa can get on their side before they attack Winterfell but not happy that she is sending for Littlefinger. Guess Sansa sees no alternative than to deal with the Devil.

An interesting ep and I am left wondering about Arya's fate but she will survive. They wouldn't bring her all this way in her journey just to kill her off now. Would they? Actually, I think that Miss Fisher, who she saved from poisoning will find her and nurse her back to health. And she will take her into the Acting Troupe which will then find it's way back to Westeros. A perfect way for Arya to get home and a good way to be hidden in plain sight! So how's that for a theory?

girlclumsy swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 7, 2016
That is a GREAT theory, and I for one would love to see more of the Mummers!

wendyemily puts forth...

Posted June 7, 2016
Yes. Those Mummers are great. I do love me some Amateur Theatre. Remember those days well. The after parties at least!

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Sousy Wench reckons...

Posted June 7, 2016
As much as I have longed for CleganeBowl TM for longer than I'd like to admit, someone here brought up the idea of Tommen as the other champion last week and I just can't get the idea out of my head. I know it's unlikely (though the more I think about the easier it is to see it working), but the idea of Cersei getting hers in such a way... Her moment of long planned for triumph becoming
certain Hobsonian defeat, is intoxicating. Maybe, they should just film booth? Make it a choose your own adventure trial... Hmmm.

Kate mumbles...

Posted June 7, 2016
Ah, yes. That could well be a plot twist. After all, Tommen is still alive and the witch told Cersei that all three of her children would wear crowns of gold and then die. So Tommen is the remaining living child, wears a crown of gold and ... I guess, the clock is ticking...

girlclumsy has opinions thus...

Posted June 7, 2016
No! Not poor Tommen. He's such a nice boy. Such a squeaky voice.

flöki snöw mutters...

Posted June 7, 2016
“Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall.” Valar Morghulis Tommen

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Springfield Fats mutters...

Posted June 7, 2016
Good to see House Glover realising that Stark = death and disaster, most sensible decision I've seen a leader on that show make in a long time.

I guess we find out next week how Arya's plot armor saves her from what would be a slow and agonising death for a good proportion of the world today, let along someone in medieval times. I'm assuming the acting troupe comes back into it somehow to help her seeing as she has no other allies there.

Unless they go for the stupidest plot twist of all time and have it be Jaqen instead...

I loved the scenes with the hound, they could have had the villages wearing red shirts, but interested to where he goes from here. I could handle seeing him put on a tactical turtleneck, shout RAAAAMPAGE!!! and get some murder on.

And I think the Queen of Thorns should have a scene where she tears strips off someone every week in a spin off.

girlclumsy has opinions thus...

Posted June 7, 2016
I would watch that TV show. Lady Olenna Hates...

Also the Glover decision may have been sensible, but it wasn't very romantic. Also, the Starks seem to have been good for it for hundreds of years. They're just having a few bad years, as Yara would say. :)

Springfield Fats would have you know...

Posted June 7, 2016
True, but they might be in the process of changing their banner from 'raised fist' to 'raised fist with middle finger resplendent'...

girlclumsy is gonna tell you...

Posted June 7, 2016
Well at least that would be more intimidating!

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Sunny reckons...

Posted June 7, 2016
I KNEW it was Percy, I KNEW it!!!
I was yelling to DH "It's Percy, is that Percy, it's Percy right???" to his blank face. So I'm so glad you've confirmed it.

Percy.
The only thing better than this would be Rowan himself coming in to fill some awesome role.

SZF ducks in to say...

Posted June 8, 2016
I got so caught up yelling, "Swedgen! Hang-dai!" when I saw Ian McShane that I missed recognizing Percy/Darling when he appeared.

Shame! [ring]

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Bondiboy66 asserts...

Posted June 7, 2016
Blimey - Al Swearengen comes in for one episode and gets knocked off before he has a chance to call someone a cocksucker! Poor form GoT!

girlclumsy puts forth...

Posted June 7, 2016

And he didn't get to feed ANYONE to the pigs...

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girlclumsy mutters...

Posted June 7, 2016
I wonder if he could, or if he would be too recognisable! We know of course he can play villainy well, but could it work....?

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Ken Father of Dire Wolves mumbles...

Posted June 7, 2016
Wonderous words yet again oh Mother of Kittens. There is much to ponder for another week. A definite highlight was the astute beyond her years Lady Mormont. I thought she was kicking the medieval Hit Girl vibe with her Sass and confidence. As for Petyr Balisch slipping between Sansa's cracks I think that's always been one of Littlefingers objectives. I just hope the Stark wolf bears it's fangs. And finally good old Stampy, a giant in stature if not in word usage, but his few words are reliable and true.

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Moko would have you know...

Posted June 7, 2016
Jaime should have shoved a 8" metal tooth pick up through Blackfishies jaw bone and gone digging while he had the chance. Was expecting. Hysterical as always Nat. Love your work.

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coz would have you know...

Posted June 7, 2016
I had to look up where the Brotherhood Without Banners came from (thank goodness for Raven On..) and don't you think slaying a bunch of peasants for a few spuds seems a bit of a departure from their raison d'etat? All we know was there was a horse around... and it'd be typical GoT "made u think" for it to be someone completely different.

Buggered if I know who else though of course.

Sousy Wench would have you know...

Posted June 7, 2016

I'm pretty sure it's one of those "utopian in theory" vs "nasty in reality" issues with the BWB, a band of merry men they are not. That said, there is another outlaw group in the books (confusingly named Brave Companions aka
Bloody Mummers - there are also way more actual mummers in the books, hence the confusion) who are a whole other level of nasty, I think they may have combined the two on GoT. Their are only so many roving bands of arseholes the human mind can take.

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Barren Spinster would have you know...

Posted June 7, 2016
There are only three episodes left and they haven't finished the Tower of Joy story. If they don't finish that story and I don't get to see who Ned finds in that tower I am considering declaring war on David, Dan and George auuggh auuggh. I need to know. I need to know in 2016. I'm sure we all agreed that the 21st century was the century of instant gratification? As Blackboard would tell Squiggle: Hurry Up

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Sir Deanos mumbles...

Posted June 7, 2016
All those crew ... all those actors ... WHY DON'T THEY JUST SHOOT 20 DAMN EPISODES AT ONCE ! ?

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@johnnykaras mutters...

Posted June 7, 2016
Great post girlclumsy.

By the way, I have a theory regarding the Arya Stark storyline.

I believe that Jaqen H'ghar may owe Arya one more life. At Harrenhal, he killed The Tickler and Ser Amory Lorch for her. She then named Jaqen to blackmail him so he would facilitate her escape from Harrenhal. After he agreed, It must be assumed that she un-named him meaning that he still owes her one more life.

I don't know how this will play out in the show (if it is used as a plot point at all), but in my mind Arya still has a wildcard to play.

Cheers J

girlclumsy reckons...

Posted June 9, 2016
This is QUITE clever.

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Barren Spinster has opinions thus...

Posted June 8, 2016
The waif was told not to let Arya suffer, the waif hasn't done what she was told.....

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Sambit swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 9, 2016
The contents of the letter that Sansa wrote to Littlefinger, check it here!! http://wikiofthrones.com/1706/someone-figured-out-sansa-starks-letter-latest-episode/

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Swaggering Bravo mumbles...

Posted June 10, 2016
Yara the amateur psychologist: "If you are broken then go kill yourself". Cheers.

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