Cheeseburger Gothic

Raven On Game of Thrones Recap S6E9: Battle of the Bastards

Posted June 21, 2016 into Raven On by girlclumsy

My loving Throners,

I am come amongst you, as you see, at this time, not for my recreation and disport, but being resolved, in the midst and heat of the season, to watch and gasp amongst you all; to lay down for my Red God, and for my seven kingdoms, and my Throners, my honour and my bad puns, even in the dust.

I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman (I really need to get back to the gym), but I have the heart and stomach of a recappespondent, and a recappespondent of Game of Thrones too, and think foul scorn that any prince of Westeros should dare invade the borders of my column; to which rather than dishonour, I myself will take up arms; and with those arms, type.

Of course I’m sure if the great Elizabeth I had been fighting Jon Snow circa 1588 she probably would’ve back-ended her speech to the troops at Tilbury with a jaunty “But Jon Snow can invade my borders anytime, hur hur,” before waggling her eyebrows and making the sexy finger in hole gesture. There’d be no more Virgin Queen after that, I can tell you.

Anyway, beloved Throners, I bastardise the words of Queen Bess for three reasons: one, I feel rather like a warrior leading the charge into this recap; two, because WHO RUN THE WORLD? GIRLS!; and three, because there were no great speeches to the troops in the Battle of the Bastards. There was only a state of not fighting and a state of fighting. And in that, we saw the real truth of war - no heroics, no subtleties, just blood, sweat, adrenaline, death, and occasionally a bloody miracle.

Now normally one of these recaps would start with a whole load of hooting along with phrases like “NO!”, “NOT THE FACE!”, “YES!”, “GOT ‘IM!” “SANSA IS MY QUEEEEEEN” and “LET ME LICK YOU BETTER JON SNOW”.

But I am legit physically and emotionally exhausted after this episode. It hit me like a wrecking ball, Miley-style.

I even stripped down to my undies and workboots too.

I don’t even know if I can come up with a coherent theme, beyond “GARRRARGHHHARGH GHGHHHHAAAARRRGHH THIS SHOW”.

But perhaps, given the full moon and the Winter Solstice upon us here in the southern hemisphere, it might be time to hand over to the twin faces of war: majesty... and lunacy.

Season 6, Episode 9: The Battle of the Bastards

We only had two locations in this episode, so let’s start over in Meereen and summarise Daenarys’ latest QUEEN SLAY manoeuvre, for it ‘twas magnificent.

Meereen, as we recall, had been under attack by the Masters, freshly returned to betray their deal with Tyrion and reclaim their profitable slave-selling ways.

Tyrion, bless him, intersperses the thudding and smashing noises of enemy projectiles hitting the Great Pyramid by insisting Meereen is on the up and up. Of course, not everybody supports his plan for jobs and growth, but then, you’re never going to please all the voters all the time.

Dany’s combat strategy is straight out of The Children’s Big Book of Brutal Dictators 101: kill them all, raze their cities. It’s Tyrion who reminds her that just because the Mad King was her father, doesn’t mean she has to be his daughter. That particular truth bomb lands just as another flaming missile crashes through the nearest window.

Tyrion suggests an alternative approach, which sees the Meereen Team talking surrender treaties with the Masters somewhere just outside the city.

Tsk-tsk, the Masters say. You could have left when we first offered peace, lady. Now as punishment we’re going to kill your dragons, sell your Unsullied Army and make you take part in The Briefcase on Channel Nine.

“We’re here to discuss YOUR surrender, not mine,” Dany throws back, far too languidly for someone not in total control of the situation. It’s at these moments that Dany most reminds me of a crocodile, and not just because her flawless skin would make an amazing handbag. It’s the uneasy air she creates as she lies in wait, letting her idiot opponents mansplain themselves right up to the water’s edge, before being chomped on like Linda Kowalski in that g-banger.

The keen-eyed among you would have spotted the initial appearance of Drogon as a blurry collection of CGI pixels behind one of the Masters. It was an ironic sight gag worthy of The Simpsons.

Drogon heralds his arrival with an almighty screech, and soon Dany is up and onto his back, flying high across the bay towards the attacking fleet. Along the way she collects Viserion and Rhaegon, who’ve busted their way out of their dungeon prison (one hopes they left papier-mache dragon effigies behind, Escape from Alcatraz-style). Together, the soaring reptilian trio turn their attention to the ship leading the attack - and on Dany’s call of “Dracarys!” let fly with the biggest flaming upchuck since I overdid it on the Hot and Spicy wicked wings last Christmas.

Meanwhile around at the city gates, a bunch of Sons of the Harpy are getting their stab on when all of a sudden they hear a great rumbling approach. It’s not a dragon, rather, it’s every fricking Dothraki warrior currently living headed straight for them. Plus Maario, whose use of an arakh to decapitate a bad guy not only engendered whoops and cheers, but made me feel a little bit disturbingly sexy.

It really is amazing how violence done to your favourites is gut-wrenching and traumatising, but violence done to your enemies can have you punching the sky and laughing like a ticklish hyena on nitrous.

That’s a recurring feature of this episode, and it crops up again when Tyrion, Grey Worm and Missandei insist that one Master will have to be killed for breaking the agreement they had. In a wholly expected move, two of the cowardly Masters push their third compadre to the front, saying he’s low-born and doesn’t speak for them. He also wears a lot of eye make-up, so that could also have been a factor.

Eyeliner Master begs for mercy, but no sooner has he fallen to his knees then Grey Worm whips out his dagger (euphemism not applicable in this situation) and slices the throats of the other two Masters.

Tyrion's just sitting this bloodspray out.

It’s left to Tyrion to pass on the key learning from today’s events to the trembling Eyeliner Master. Should any of the other Masters have fanciful ideas of trying again to reintroduce slavery, “tell them what happened when Daenarys Stormborn and her dragons came to Meereen”. To quote those 90s philosophers, Wayne and Garth, if she were President she’d be Babe-raham Lincoln.

And then the Greyjoys show up.

I loved the sudden appearance of Theon and Yara in the Throne Room, with Theon being dressed down by Tyrion for telling dwarf jokes back when they last met at Winterfell.

Theon’s keen to move on from both his youthful and serious adult indiscretions, but Tyrion wants a bit of a gloat. It’s Dany, resplendent in a moss-green toga that would add “Queen of O-Week” to her many titles, who gets negotiations back on track.

The Greyjoys have offered 100 ships from the Iron Fleet, which coupled with the remaining ships from the now-defunct Masters is almost enough to get her entire army over to Westeros.

The biggest threat to this plan is Euron Greyjoy, their mad and murderous uncle who intends to offer Daenarys big wooden ships and, well, big wood.

The recent revelation of Yara’s Sapphic tendencies paid off big time when Daenarys joked that her offer would not come with marriage demands. “I never demand, but I’m up for anything really,” Yara sasses back with extra sassy sass. It really was wonderful to see both Dany and Yara enjoy some cheeky banter about having mad Dads, usurper troubles, and misogyny dramas.

Somebody tell Eddie McGuire this is how you do banter.

Dany resolves that everyone there has a duty to leave the world in a better state than they found it - unlike their respective fathers. So Yara may claim the Salt Throne once Dany is restored to the Iron one, but on the condition that they respect her rules. No more raiding and reaving for the Ironborn, it’s time to settle down and grow up. “But that’s our way of life!” protests Yara. But she can see the writing is on the wall, and it’s kudos for both women that they can see the potential for a better future. As we’ve said in the past, the Ironborn need to diversify their economy. “Coastal raping” should not be a line item in a country’s budget.

And so on a firm handshake we leave Meereen with the exciting promise that the Mother of Dragons might soon launch her ships and head towards Westeros. It’s only been eleventy million years, but we’re getting there, guys!

All right.

It’s time to head to Winterfell, and to the inevitable showdown between Jon Snow, Ramsay Bolton and their respective armies.

The two sides have an initial meet and greet on the prospective battle site outside the castle. It’s the first time we’ve seen Ramsay in a fair few episodes, and he hasn’t improved. Captain Smuggy McEvilSmugface demands the immediate return of his bride Sansa, and for Jon Snow et al to bend the knee and swear allegiance to him as Warden of the North. I’d try to describe my face as I listened to Lord Slimebucket ooze words, but Lyanna Mormont pretty much summed it up.

"I'm ten and can tell this guy is full of crap."

The Starks, of course, are having none of it. Jon even offers to take Ramsay on mano a mano, an offer Bolton is super quick to turn down on account of knowing Jon would KICK his measly backside. Of course, Ramsay wouldn’t be Ramsay without a creepy trick up his sleeve, and it’s at this point he throws down the head of Shaggy Dog as proof he has their brother Rickon.

It's Sansa, wonderful, badass Sansa, who shuts him down.

“You’re going to die tomorrow, Lord Bolton. Sleep well.” And then she rides off and doesn’t look back, because she is a Queen.

Ramsay laughs and describes her as a cool chick, then tells everyone he looks forward to feeding them to his dogs. Now just keep this bit in mind, as there’s a slight continuity snafu here that I’ll bring up later.

That night, we see Jon, Sansa, Tormund and Davos doing some mind mapping vis-a-vis their battle plans. Tormund is hilariously unaware of the rules and manoeuvres of open warfare, and Davos reinforces the need to make Ramsay charge first.

But after they leave, Sansa lets rip, telling Jon he’s completely overlooked her insights, having actually been subjected to Ramsay's "personality" for more than five minutes. He lays traps, he plays with people, and he will make you make a mistake.

The pair have a right proper argument, and it’s a joy to watch. Here are two siblings, who’ve both gone through so much, trying to solve the same problem but coming at it from different angles. Jon is trying to retain the honour of the Stark house by wanting to save Rickon and use strategy to boost their meagre numbers. Where Sansa is a revelation is when she urges him to cut Rickon, her own brother, loose. He’s the legitimate heir, more valuable that she or Jon. Ramsay won’t allow him to live. It’s the kind of cold insight that only someone who had been at the Bolton bastard’s mercy could know.

Not being battle-hardened, Sansa can’t offer much in the way of advice on what he should do. But she’s clear on one thing - “Don’t do what he expects you to do”. Ramsay plays with people, he knows how to hurt them, how to make them make mistakes. Jon would be wise to heed this advice.

When Sansa makes for the exit, she tells Jon if Ramsay wins she will top herself rather than go back into his custody. Jon promises he won’t let Ramsay hurt her again, but Sansa is resolute. “No one can protect anyone,” she says, almost mournfully. Remember that prissy little girl who believed in knights and honour and being an adored lady? Nope, I don't either.

Jon’s inherited Ned Stark’s honourable streak, and while I adore it like I adore my foster kittens when they’re asleep and not destroying stuff in my house, it’s something that we will see come back to bite him squarely on the backside come battle time (Oh! If only I could bite Jon Snow … you get the drift).

Meanwhile, Davos and Tormund are taking a turn about the campsite. The bushy-bearded wildling has the confidence of someone who doesn’t know what a “pincer movement” is, and the two trade stories about their former kings, Stannis Baratheon and Mance Raydar. Neither turned out to be the Prince they were promised to be - although the Onion Knight does have to explain that Stannis’ demons weren’t actually real demons.

"Are you SURE they weren't real demons?"

Tormund invites Davos in for a sour goat’s milk libation, but Davos turns him down. I’m not surprised - I had sour mare’s milk in Mongolia once, and seriously, I can still taste it. That stuff burns. Davos instead opts for his pre-battle routine of pacing around the campsite so nobody sees him, well, requiring a change into brown trousers. Tormund farewells him with a cheery “Happy shitting!” and Davos heads off.

Then, in an amazing coincidence, he finds the pyre upon which Shireen Baratheon was sacrificed. He finds her little stag doll, and instantly knows something was very wrong about the manner in which she died. Of course this spells doom for his recently patched up relationship with Melisandre.

Meanwhile Jon has gone to see Kate Bush, who doesn’t even attempt an inspiring version of Don’t Give Up, but just looks bored and majorly bummed out.

Jon wants her to stay out of things if he happens to get deaded again, but the Red Woman is #sorrynotsorry about it.

"Look, if the Red God says you have more lives than Super Mario, then I'm sorry but it will never be game over for you."

Melisandre can’t answer Jon’s question about why she was able to bring him back from the dead, only that he may just be needed for this particular battle and then bang, dead again. “What kind of god would do that?” he asks, and Kate Bush answers with possibly the smartest four-word lyric she’s written since Running Up That Hill: “The one we’ve got.”

Yep, it’s a nice reflection on a lot of religions and some of their more… interesting… beliefs.

The morning of the battle dawns, and Jon Snow does a very dishy impersonation of Henry V while inspecting the troops on horseback. But anybody expecting a bit of “Once more into the breach” talk is to be disappointed; Jon, as we know, has always been a man of meaningful, not flowery, words. And given the size of the army they’re up against, it probably is best to stick to the adage that if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

At this point, Ramsay Bolton initiates his most fiendish plan ever.

We see him on horseback walking through his troops, while dragging something on a rope. We know, we just KNOW, that it’s poor Rickon Stark. Once again, he’s a character who’s shot up in height, but he retains enough babyish innocence to remind us he is yet another innocent victim of the Bastard of Winterfell.

The show messes with us here; first by having Ramsay brandish a knife high in the air, and Rickon bow his head waiting for a killing blow, then by having Ramsay cut Rickon’s bonds and send him off running towards Jon.

If you were anything like me, you felt icy fingers slide their way down your throat and snake around your heart. Rickon was doomed, but I didn’t want to accept it. Jon’s solo ride out to save Rickon was too noble to fail, surely?

The pacing here was incredible as we watched Ramsay fire arrows in a seemingly indifferent manner towards the vanishing Rickon, and as Jon galloped his steed towards his brother, hand out and down ready to lift him up onto his back. It would have been a golden moment, a superhero rescue.

But this is Game of Thrones. Superhero rescues are the exception, not the rule.

Jon and Rickon got close, so close, then Ramsay finally aimed to hit his target, and the arrow speared the youngest Stark through the back. It may as well have hit Jon in the heart too, as he goes numb for a moment - the first time he’s seen his littlest brother in years and he’s in his death throes.

"Bro?"

Sansa warned Jon about this, but even if he did listen it’s a forgotten memory in this heated moment.

Looking on, Tormund urges him to remember the plan, with the simple utterance “Don’t.”

But it’s too late. Jon has fallen into Ramsay’s trap, and he charges forward. Davos sends the rest of the cavalry after him, but Jon has a bit headstart. Eventually his horse takes too many arrows and collapses underneath him.

Jon, survivor of Hardhome, draws his sword and faces these enemies, such different enemies, but sharing the same intent to kill him.

A beautiful slow motion shot captures Ramsay’s cavalry bearing down on Jon, sword drawn, one man ready to take on an army.

Thankfully the rest of his mounted forces catch up and the two sides begin a brutal, visceral clash that is possibly one of the most extraordinary fight sequences ever committed to film.

The camera places us primarily with Jon in the middle of the quagmire, illustrating how a medieval battle quickly divulged from being two one-dimensional sides clashing to a three dimensional mess of men, horseflesh, blood, mud, and flashing steel. There is no sense to be made of the slaughter, no battle rules, only the biological fight response in full flight.

Ramsay continues to run his military operation so sadistically that the Marquis de Sade would turn in his grave to hear his name so besmirched.

While Ser Davos holds off his archers because there’s a risk they might hit their own men, Ramsay has no such compunction. He has his archers fire on the battlefield, happy enough to kill his own men as long as Stark forces and free folk are copping it too.

Before long the whole landscape of the battlefield has altered, with previously flat ground replaced with piles of bodies, flesh mountains that take your breath away - figuratively and literally. For a while Jon is trampled into one of the death mounds, his senses and movements constricted and his body fighting for air. Despite all the blood sprays, the removal of limbs and the horror unleashed on the horses, this remains one of the most horrifying experiences of the battle, because it leaves Jon so utterly helpless.

Meanwhile Ramsay sends in his foot soldiers to surround the remaining Stark forces in a manoeuvre best described as a giant spiky donut. Every few moments the Flayed Men shields squeeze inwards, followed by a thrust of their pikes.

Tormund, insane with awe-inspiring rage, hurls himself at some of shields, encouraged by the leadership of Stampy the Giant, who just starts sweeping some of them aside.

Unfortunately the spiky donut continues to choke the Stark forces, their clever plan to draw the Boltons to them now a bitter regret. In a bright moment, Tormund bites the neck right out of Smalljon Umber, and Jon manages to push himself upwards, inhale, and keep battling...

...and then the Knights of the Vale show up.

We knew they were going to, of course, as Sansa had sent the letter to Littlefinger two episodes ago. They cut it damn fine, but I can’t tell you how happy I was to cheer “Finally! The Knights of the Vale have FINALLY done something decent in this series!”

In a magnificent aerial shot, we saw the mounted Arryn knights both break the Flayed Man spiky donut, and surround it from the outside. It was like the most violent depiction of a sperm impregnating an egg you’ll ever see.

Just bloody amazing. Well done team.

Best of all, it wiped the smug grin off Ramsay’s face for the first time ever:

"I'm boned."

Knowing his time was up, Ramsay fled back to Winterfell. But Jon, Tormund, and Stampy the Giant were hot on his tail. Thanks to Stampy’s efforts they crashed through the castle gates and took the fight right up to Ramsay. Wildlings flooded in, killing Bolton forces, although poor Stampy finally gave out from one too many arrows.

Ramsay and Jon finally faced off in one on one combat, and sure, you could be forgiven for wondering why one of the other Wildlings didn’t just fire an arrow or throw a knife at Ramsay. But then we wouldn’t have an awesome sequence in which my bruised, bloodied and beloved Jon Snow walked determinedly towards Ramsay, shielding himself from arrows, then took the bastard down and BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF HIM.

He stopped, eventually.

In 1815 the great Duke of Wellington said “My my! At Waterloo Napoleon did surrender.” That of course hasn’t been historically corroborated, but he did say “The next worst thing to a battle lost, is a battle won.”

Never has that been more clear than here, with so much bloodshed, so much death. Rickon’s small body is brought in, and Jon sends him to be buried in the crypt next to Ned. We also Ser Davos throw dark looks at Melisandre, while cradling Shireen’s stag.

But there is triumph too - in seeing the Flayed Man sigil ripped from Winterfell’s walls, and the Direwolf of Stark returned to its rightful place.

Finally, Ramsay Bolton.

Sansa demands to see him, and is shown to the cell where the hateful monster is being kept tied to a chair. “Is this where I live now?” he asks, altogether too cheerily.

But Queen Sansa, my amazing hero, absolutely slays when she tells him his words, his house, his name will all disappear. And then we hear the growling.

Ramsay doesn’t believe his loyal hounds would attack him. But as Sansa points out, they’re now starving.

Now if you were playing along earlier I mentioned a small continuity error. Here’s where it comes into play. Sansa tells Ramsay “You haven’t fed them in seven days, you said it yourself.” But she’d actually ridden away from the parley before Ramsay SAID that. So how did she know? Did John or Davos or Tormund mention it? I would have thought they’d be too tired or caught up to do so. But I guess someone had to place Ramsay in the cell, maybe they discussed it then.

One of the doggies starts to lick Ramsay’s face, and then bang, they all attack. Ramsay trained his dogs to do this, he set them on Lady Walda and her newborn baby, and it is only right that he go out like this. It is horrific, utterly deserved and immensely satisfying.

For her part, Sansa walks away from the cells, never looking back. In fact, she leaves with a tiny twist of a smile, a Mona Lisa moment, but one in which we know exactly the reason for the grin.

SLAY.

Jon Snow may be a hero. But Sansa is a Queen.

Also, I've learned a valuable lesson - never let the foster kittens go hungry.


Yay! Best Moments

There are SO many this episode that it’s hard to nail down. But I reckon just Sansa’s face. Whether it was resolution in the face of Ramsay’s threats and Rickon’s potential death, despair at not being listened to by Jon, fear that her brother’s army would be overrun, and intense pleasure at seeing the Bolton forces and Ramsay himself brought down, it was the most captivating thing of the whole shebang.

Zing! Best Lines

Jon: We’re digging trenches all along our flanks. They won’t be able to hit us the way Stannis hit you, in a double envelopment.
Tormund: …
Jon: A pincer movement.
Tormund: ...
Jon: He won’t be able to hit us from the sides.
Tormund: Good.

Ew, gross

Pick a moment from that battle, people. Pick any moment.

Boo, sucks

While Rickon’s loss was shocking, Stampy the Giant’s was actually heart-breaking. Who among us didn’t love that big guy? Short on words, tough on idiots. His actions during the spiky donut sequence saved so many of the remaining soldiers, and he single-handedly broke the Winterfell gates to let Jon and the wildlings in. He took so many arrows and kept fighting, and the look he gave Jon just as Ramsay shot the coup de grace with a King Harold special made tears come to my eyes. Vale Stampy. We hardly knew ye, but boy did we love the way ye beat tens tons of shit out of everyone.

Also, there have been a few commenters already asking "Where was Ghost?" I think we can all agree the answer is "in his CGI kennel". With SO much to plot, plan and execute with that battle sequence, throwing in a fake wolf would have been too much. Yes, it was sad to not have him bite some faces off, but at least he's alive.

Next week!

I cannot believe there is one episode left of this season. What on earth am I going to do without you, beloved Throners? Why yes, I probably will sit at home rocking back and forth singing “All by Myself”. But until then, there are a few things we need some resolution on next week:

Will Dany head to Westeros? Will Varys have teed up some friendly faces?

Where is Bran? Will he be reunited with Jon and Sansa at Winterfell? Will we see the end of the Tower of Joy flashback?

Will Davos take revenge on Melisandre for sacrificing Shireen?

Will Arya return, perhaps meeting Nymeria along the way?

Will Cersei face her trial, or will Jaime return in time to rescue her? Will the High Sparrow get his comeuppance?

Will the Hound axe a lot of dudes? Where will he and the Brotherhood end up?

Will Sam and Gilly make it to Old Town?

And perhaps most importantly….Brienne and Tormund. Will they or won’t they?

Thank you all SO much for bearing with me during this incredibly long recap.

I've been running a Patreon campaign this season, and it's been doing amazingly well. Thank you to everyone who's signed up. Check it out via www.patreon.com/girlclumsy if you want to get involved for the final week.

Otherwise I look forward to your comments here or over on my Facebook page: www.facebook.com/nataliesthrone.

Valar Morghulis!

92 Responses to ‘Raven On Game of Thrones Recap S6E9: Battle of the Bastards’

Rhino asserts...

Posted June 21, 2016
Awesome. Just freaking awesome.

Nice job.

girlclumsy reckons...

Posted June 21, 2016
Thanks Rhino. Imagine what I could do with a full day and a good night's sleep behind me. :P

Respond to this thread

Andrea is gonna tell you...

Posted June 21, 2016
Holy heckmonkeys. Watching this reminded me why I'm a pacifist...

Sousy Wench has opinions thus...

Posted June 21, 2016
I am also generally a pacifist - real world violence and blood sports turn my stomach. I say "generally" because tonight I was shouting bloodthirsty advice at Jon whenever he was anywhere near Ramsey. I'm reliably informed by my mum, that said advice included "Just kill him", "Fuck honour, just shoot him in the head" and during their final punchy scene "Stop playing with him, kill him and cut off his head to be sure". I'm pretty sure I now need to surrender my pacifist card.

girlclumsy mumbles...

Posted June 21, 2016
Yep. We get violent when we get passionate ladies. It's acceptable. Ramsay Bolton is, after all, the patriarchy. WE MUST KILL THE BEAST.

Respond to this thread

PM asserts...

Posted June 21, 2016
I'm a bit concerned about that little smile on Sansa's face as she left Ramsey 'feeding the dogs'. Is she starting to enjoy the exercise of rough justice just a tad too much? Might she be moving too far towards the dark side?

girlclumsy asserts...

Posted June 21, 2016
Pfft! Sansa is a QUEEN.

If you'd just seen your rapist and tormenter get their just desserts, you'd feel entitled to a wee smile yourself. :)

Respond to this thread

xServer puts forth...

Posted June 21, 2016
That battle...that was hard to watch. Intense and brutal and everything I have to assume actual battle is really like. Also, and I should probably feel badly for saying this, but it makes me happy we're not using horses in battle any longer. They really did die by the fistfuls, didn't they?

I am glad that Sansa got the last word with Ramsay. His house, his name, his words, his sigil - all are going to be lost and forgotten. He was so desperate to be recognized as a Bolton and now the Boltons are dead. Also, this makes me think all the fan-theories about her being pregnant have to be false. If she was having a baby then the death of House Bolton would be the last thing on her mind (unless she's headed for a nice cup of moon-tea after their chat).

I also have to admit that I am so damn disappointed in the Umbers. I really thought that handing Rickon and Asha over to Ramsay was a feint. But no. Shaggy-Dog is dead, Asha is dead, Rickon is dead and the Umbers are traitorous c-u-next-tuesdays. I hope they get what's coming to them.

I think next week is the episode Cersei unleashes fiery armageddon on King's Landing. Tyrion just confirmed that there are stores of wildfire hidden under all of the big, important buildings including the Sept of Balon. I think she's ready to burn it all down rather than see The Sparrow get anything over on her again. And she'll probably kill Tommen accidentally in the process, fulfilling that prophecy from long ago.

Also, do you think Walder Frey gets it next episode? I almost hope not...I want that to be the beginning of Season 7. My greatest hope is Lady Stoneheart shows up for his feast right after his "The Lannisters and the Freys send their regards" and boom, go to black. That's a way to end a season! But I'll probably be OK with someone feeding him his own tongue.

This show brings out the best in me... ;-)

Timmo asserts...

Posted June 21, 2016
It is perhaps fateful that House Bolton are no more largely thanks to Ramsay's own hand.

girlclumsy mutters...

Posted June 21, 2016
Excellent point about horses in battle. No doubt countless millions and millions gave their lives over the millenia.

nerbit has opinions thus...

Posted June 21, 2016
Sadly GRRM has confirmed that Lady Stoneheart won't make it into the shows....although he has lied before!

Bart mutters...

Posted June 23, 2016
The wildfire was used to defend Kings landing against the fleet a few seasons ago.

Respond to this thread

Jane is gonna tell you...

Posted June 21, 2016
Ahhhhhhh -pass the fags Nat!

Respond to this comment

Loz mumbles...

Posted June 21, 2016
Best. Episode. Ever. I have no words, so thank goodness you do.

Thank you so much for these witty recaps, they're such a pleasure to read and really add to the enjoyment of the show, being able to re-live it all again and pick up on things I missed. Keep up the amazing work. x

girlclumsy has opinions thus...

Posted June 21, 2016
Naww, thanks Loz! Believe me, I struggled for a lot of words after this one. I was REKT.

Respond to this thread

Fiona swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 21, 2016
Get thee into Outlander post GoT Nat, you won't regret it!

Awesome recap btw, always love your work.

Muddy is gonna tell you...

Posted June 21, 2016
I have been going to suggest that Natalie recaps Outlander but I fear the sight of Jamie in a kilt and bare chested may push her over the edge.

girlclumsy swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 21, 2016
It's my plan - I haven't watched any Outlander so it'll be interesting to come in cold to a recap (you may recall I began recapping GoT in season 2, so had a rough idea of characters, stories etc).

I keep hearing about the dishy men, so I'll get myself some smelling salts at the ready.

she_jedi would have you know...

Posted June 21, 2016
Your friend Tobias Menzies is in Outlander, and he's absolutely brilliant in it, such a talented man :)

girlclumsy would have you know...

Posted June 21, 2016
Indeed! My friend! A guy I met once ten years ago! We're totes besties.

Respond to this thread

Bendric Dondarrion mutters...

Posted June 21, 2016
Can someone explain, apart from laudable dramatic purposes, why Sansa wouldn't tell Jon about her Littlefinger arrangement? One can imagine Jon at Winterfell, in Adam Sandler voice: "From a military strategy perspective that would have been useful information BEFORE THE BATTLE!"

xServer asserts...

Posted June 21, 2016
How was she supposed to know that LittleFinger would even show up? Ravens can't find people on the move, they fly to buildings, not mobile camps. Jon had already said that he wasn't waiting any longer, she tried to get him to hold off but he refused. Was she supposed to dangle the possibility of creepy Petyr backing them up? Not really. If Jon was set to do battle then he had to plan with the assets they actually had. And if he'd listened to Sansa and not fallen for Ramsay's trap, they would have been in a much better position. But nope - just like Ned, he can only do the thing that's noble and not the thing that's smart.

vitas ducks in to say...

Posted June 21, 2016
Did she ever get confirmation that they were coming? Littlefinger could easily have been doing a Stanleys and sit on the sidelines

Ms. Naughty mutters...

Posted June 21, 2016
I too was wondering why Sansa wouldn't at least mention it. I think it would have made Jon delay at least a little. In another comment thread, someone suggested it was strategy on Sansa's part: if Ramsey knew they had a bigger army, he would have simply withdrawn to Winterfell and ensured a siege. This way, they drew him out and ensured a victory. But it's one hell of a risky strategy. I've also seen suggestions that Sansa may be in for conflict with Jon in the future, since she will probably take on Littlefinger as an advisor and rule Winterfell... the smile at the end suggests she is on her way to becoming a no-nonsense kind of queen.

Bendric mumbles...

Posted June 21, 2016
Adam Sandler voice: She did not even mention the POSSIBILITY of support coming. You know, maybe WAIT A WHILE!

girlclumsy has opinions thus...

Posted June 21, 2016
Excellent discussion point.

I feel that Sansa knew Baelish would come with the pride of Arryn. After all, he did offer in the first place.

I think the avoidance of a siege idea is a great one.

I also wouldn't be surprised if Sansa held back because it was an ace up her sleeve, but if it didn't pan out she would never have had to mention it.

And I think even if she takes Baelish on as an adviser, she will still be wary of him. You can't forget that level of being-left-in-the-shit-by-someone.

Springfield Fats has opinions thus...

Posted June 22, 2016
Cause she's a Stark and wherever they go, death and ruin follow? I think it was meant to be a another step in the 'Sansa gaining her independence' arc, just one that showed her to be a moron rather than anything else. Not as stupid as Jon mind you, but stupid nonetheless.

Respond to this thread

HAVOCK21 ducks in to say...

Posted June 21, 2016
steel, blood , organs, battle and fkn sexy as wenches...any wonder my Monday nights are fkn GOT GOT GOT!. It was wicked and yes, NOTHING BEATS Knights/ Heavy CAv or the likes. I really got into some of the fight scenes, especially when it was a horse screaming past to slam some poor bastard that was about to cap snow...>FKN THUMP!

girlclumsy asserts...

Posted June 21, 2016
Havock! My God man! It's been ages! So good to see you still the King among men of the Capslock Key. A great inspiration to me in my recaps, you know.

Respond to this thread

vitas reckons...

Posted June 21, 2016
Holy shitballs

Looking to the future, it looks like it will all be about the women. Daenarys and Yara, Sansa rising in the north, Arya about to fly in under everybodys radar, the winner or Celebrity Deathmatch XVII - Cersei vs Margery. I think Varys is paying a visit to the Sand Snakes in Dorne (remember them?). For this reason I fear for Jamie next week. Walter Frey, the double crossing bastard, can do anything. Jon will do domething stupid next seres and sacrifice himself for the greater good, or something silly.

But only one more episode before 10 months of staring into the darkness

flöki snöw asserts...

Posted June 21, 2016
There's good reason to fear a Frey soiree , when the music stops something unpleasant happens, lets hope Brons on his game.

girlclumsy mumbles...

Posted June 21, 2016

What did I say? WHO RUN THE WORLD? GIRLS!

Respond to this thread

Lizzie reckons...

Posted June 21, 2016
Fantastic episode - fabulous recap. And to think in earlier seasons I thought Sansa was a whinging and whining waste of a character! Re the last episode - I fear the whispered exchange that Qyburn had with Cersei that his "little birds" had finally given him information (or words to that effect) may not bode well for Varys.

girlclumsy would have you know...

Posted June 21, 2016
Yep, Sansa's journey has been magnificent. I'm so glad I've been on Team Sansa since the beginning - well, since Joffrey started torturing her and she wised up. :)

Respond to this thread

Zosha puts forth...

Posted June 21, 2016
Arya, what about Arya, she has to return to Winterfell in a music swelling, tug at our heartstrings, to embrace Jon and Sansa,in a fade to black, end of season moment.

Brilliant recap as always.... One of the best episodes on the small screen ever.

girlclumsy puts forth...

Posted June 21, 2016
Such a great episode - and yes, forgive me, I initially left out Arya, but in my defence it was 3am.

I've included her again. She must return, and there must be much clinging and crying and triumphant whooping.

Respond to this thread

Ms. Naughty reckons...

Posted June 21, 2016
Such a tense episode, I was a nervous wreck by the end of it and in dire need of your recap as group therapy. I'm sure I wasn't the only one yelling at Rickon to "ZIG ZAG YOU FOOL!" And for once I wasn't surprised by his death. He had no real character of his own which is a shame. Like you, I was sadder for Stampy the Giant. And also rather frustrated that they didn't make better use of him in the battle. I feel as though he could have broken through the shield wall, or at least stomped down the spears a bit. Entertainment Weekly has a great article with the director of this episode, discussing how he planned the battle sequence. Interestingly, the bit where Jon is suffocating only happened because it rained for 3 days and they were out of time and money. I think it was the most impressive thing they shot, so useful to have a different perspective.
Anyway, am feeling sad that next week is the last one for the year. Your recaps are such a highlight.

Ms. Naughty mutters...

Posted June 21, 2016
Forgot to add: I had a very tense few moments when I thought we might lose Tormund and thus our opportunity to make endless shippy memes about Tormienne. Thank god for his bitey, stabby Wildling ways which ensures he lives to raise his eyebrows another day.

Verimaz mutters...

Posted June 21, 2016
I was shouting for Rickon to do a crazy Ivan!
Loved the suffocating scenes, so effective.
By the end I did think that Jon is really going to need some help in the hot springs in the gods wood to clean up....

Back in Mereen I broke into a bit of "sisters are doing it for themselves..."

Timmo swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 21, 2016
Absolutely not on your own there Ms Naughty!
It was very much a horror movie moment - "Jesus, don't DO that!"

girlclumsy has opinions thus...

Posted June 21, 2016
Yes, the internet seems to be very sad about Rickon never having learned to zig zag. I suspect he's got something similar to Zoolander.

Respond to this thread

wendyemily mumbles...

Posted June 21, 2016
Wow! I barely have words after that ep. I loved the beginning of the ep with Dany & her magnificent Dragons showing just what an unstoppable force a tough, kick ass Queen can be especially when she has Dragons to back her up. And I also loved how Tyrion seems to be set to become her voice of reason when the blood of the Mad King comes seething up. He is nothing but logical and sensible and she needs someone like that beside her. And now she has another new alliance it's time to set sail and take back what is hers.

As to that battle, I was sitting at the edge of my seat and praying that our beloved Jon would not die yet again and that this time Bolton would get all that is coming to him. It was a chilling reminder of how nasty that world can be as we saw the bodies pile up and I could barely watch. Though I knew they would have to win in the end.

The end of poor Stampy the Giant was sad, though I was kinda hoping that he would do to Ramsey what he did earlier in the battle to some soldier. Pull him apart and toss his battered corpse into the wind. Still it was a chillingly apt end for Sansa to get her revenge and throw the bastard to the dogs! Literally. And perhaps Sansa enjoyed it all a bit too much, but who could blame her?

Sansa, Queen of the North. Dany, Queen of the South. Ice and Fire indeed.

girlclumsy is gonna tell you...

Posted June 21, 2016
OH MY GOD - I completely forgot to mention the bit where Stampy the giant totally ripped that guy in half. You see, this is what happens when there is SO MUCH in an episode!

And yes - Sansa and Dany, Yara and Brienne and Arya - 'tis the season of the estrogen ascendencies. Booyah!

Respond to this thread

Veralc mutters...

Posted June 21, 2016
The final scene I got a strong sense that Sansa was talking about herself. They used to be loyal, but now they are starving... The dogs, like Sansa, will do what they have to do to survive. She's been abused, but she still got bite.

girlclumsy would have you know...

Posted June 21, 2016
Poetic observation, and I dig it. :)

Respond to this thread

Stormy mumbles...

Posted June 21, 2016
Ahhhhh, MoK. Each week you set the recap bar higher and each week you saunter in, leap and clear. A gold medal at Rio beckons.

Stormy is gonna tell you...

Posted June 21, 2016
I enjoy the fan theories, the speculation, the vast array of complexity that arises from such contemplations. All come from the POV of the GoT consumer. Post midnight, unable to sleep in anticipation of a MoK recap, I attempted to warg into a GoT producer. Bear with me.

Stormy puts forth...

Posted June 21, 2016
A TV production company is as much about making money as it is making art (if not more so). The GoT production team have assets, be they physical or CGI related. The current storyline has a finite life, however many seasons that may be. What happens with the assets? I speculate... Is it possible that Bran's storyline and time shifting is as much a production plan as it is a plot shifter? Via this we've already been introduced to a sans Bean Ned Stark. A young Hodor. A Mad King. Are we looking at a post GoT prequel?

girlclumsy mutters...

Posted June 21, 2016
Thank you for your kind words, Stormy. Honestly, every week I sit down and think "I do not know HOW I am going to do this one." And somehow it comes. Any side-effect of quality though is pure coincidence.

I love your conspiracy theory though - hasn't there already been some talk of a Robert's Rebellion prequel show?

Respond to this thread

Muddy puts forth...

Posted June 21, 2016
Sansa needs a lover who won't drive her crazy. Podrick Payne perhaps.
That scene, Jon Snow standing sword in hand, Ramsey's cavalry thundering towards him like an equine tsunami was the greatest scene in the history of television. Then, just when Jon is about to get crushed, THUMP, the horses collide and a billion breaths around the world exhale.

girlclumsy reckons...

Posted June 21, 2016
OMG Muddy, Sansa and Pod. It makes PERFECT SENSE.

But then, she is still a teenager. I'm happy for her to just have a rest, and wait a bit, and fully heal. But damn, Pod. That is a GREAT idea.

Respond to this thread

coz has opinions thus...

Posted June 21, 2016
wow that was an intense episode.

I loved Dany looking back at Tyrion for approval when she made the deal with Yara - "Look, I'm doing it, I'm doing politics - am I doing this right?".

Was that the first political deal she's made without direct guidance from advisors? Apart for all the 'I'm freeing your slaves, taking your land and killing you all' deals she's big on.

girlclumsy mumbles...

Posted June 21, 2016
Another great moment that I missed in the recap Coz - it was lovely to see Dany and Tyrion working together. Long may it continue!

Respond to this thread

Gingernuts ducks in to say...

Posted June 21, 2016
Did anyone else notice the hint hidden in the exchange between Sansa and Ramsay, when he told her that she was basically stuck with him for good, because "there's part of me inside you" (or something like that)? Could Sansa be pregnant? Eew...

flöki snöw puts forth...

Posted June 21, 2016
A bolton bun in the oven?

Lady EFL would have you know...

Posted June 21, 2016
That would just be the final lemon juice in the paper cut wouldn't it?! One certainly hopes she is not in a family way. It could also mean that because of what he did to her, she will never forget him and thus he will always be a part of her. At least that's what I'm hoping .... fingers crossed because the Boltons and their nasty genetic insanely savage cruelty need to be deleted from the Westeros gene pool for good. Along with the Umbers and Karstarks for being traitorous dogs!

girlclumsy is gonna tell you...

Posted June 21, 2016
My response to the "Could Sansa be pregnant?" question as usual is to stick both fingers in my ears and scream NOT LISTENING NOT LISTENING NOT LISTENING.

It's the mature approach.

she_jedi swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 21, 2016
I told a male coworker that if I was Sansa and I was pregnant with BOO HISS Bolton's baby, I'd strangle that kid before it could draw breath. This led to a very long, very awkward pause in our discussion. I think I frightened him :)

Turlogh Dubh O'Brien mutters...

Posted June 22, 2016
I think - more like I'm hoping - Ramsay means that in order to defeat him, she had to become like him a little, develop a bit of a sadistic streak, so in a way he survives as long as a sweet girl like Sansa has to do stuff like have his dogs eat him. But it is not entirely out of the question that she's pregs.

I would like Sansa to end up with Pod. I am a huge fan of Brienne and Pod. What is Littlefinger's price though? Marriage to Sansa?

Respond to this thread

Lady EFL would have you know...

Posted June 21, 2016
Wow ..... just wow! There are no words really (and you used what little there were for another awesome recap Nat. Captain Smuggy McEvilSmugface and Lord Slimebucket - I'm still laughing! But who shall we hate with the fire of a thousand supernovas now? I suppose there's still the Freys). Loved the poetic justice of BOO HISS Ramsay being eaten by his own dogs. Serves you right Ramsay - if you live by the dog, you die by the dog. Sansa's face said it all. In fact all the women in the episode had amazing facial expression moments - Dany, Yara, Missandei, Sansa and the gloriously sassy Lyanna Mormont. And I must say I loved seeing a bit of the old Theon back - not the smarmy little git but a bit of confidence and eye contact back in his demeanour. One thing I do want to know is: where are all the portals in Westeros? You know, the ones people seems to be slipping through to be somewhere the plot needs them to be but defying all known laws of time and physics - I'm looking at you Greyjoys and Littlefinger!

girlclumsy swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 21, 2016
OMG, I cannot believe I didn't mention BOO HISS in front of Ramsay Bolton at all this recap! What is happening to me?

Respond to this thread

Ms Naughty ducks in to say...

Posted June 21, 2016
Am in awe: just discovered that shot where Jon Snow faced down the cavalry was real, not CGI. Phew!
Also, they spent 10 hours just shooting the bit where Jon beats the crap out of Ramsey. 10. Long. Hours. Bravo. Apparently Kit accidentally punched him for real a few times.
Official BTS video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k0YsrTBEYM

girlclumsy swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 21, 2016
I saw that! It is INCREDIBLE that the cavalry charge was real, but SO good.

And wow, 10 hours punching someone. And you get paid?

Respond to this thread

Dave reckons...

Posted June 21, 2016
What an episode, I have never been so still during a sequence before. The battle scenes were spectacular. Jon being suffocated, wow realistic.

This was what we had all been waiting for, there were screams of delight at the dogs eating the dog. Pure joy in this household.

Will Arya meet Sansa?
Will Jon ever listen?
Will Ser Davros finally find out?
Will the Dothraki finally enter the sea?
Will the White walkers appear?

Will Dany turn sexually?

Only one more episode, how will they fit it in?

girlclumsy mumbles...

Posted June 21, 2016
Hur, hur. "Fit it in". Hur hur. Snort.

Respond to this thread

Mother of nothing puts forth...

Posted June 21, 2016
I recently purchased an Apple Watch. No bear with me, this is relevant! I've been tracking my sleep for the last few weeks. I've noticed a pattern of insomnia on Monday nights, and last night was really bad, in the best possible way. Who can sleep after watching that? Clearly you didn't MOK. Great recap ????????????

girlclumsy asserts...

Posted June 21, 2016
I need an Apple Watch to keep track of my sleeping patterns!

I really don't, I just am a slave to the shiny, much like my host here, Mr Birmingham.

Respond to this thread

Lorn mumbles...

Posted June 21, 2016
Knocked it out of the park again MoK ...great recap of a great episode!
Talk about edge of your seat stuff, wow just wow GoT. I have a rewatch booked in for tonight, and on the back of this recap I can't wait!

girlclumsy ducks in to say...

Posted June 21, 2016
Totally an episode that needs rewatching.

Join us on the FB page too at 9pm or so if you're done - Stu and I are going to have a live chat about the episode.

Respond to this thread

Mick ducks in to say...

Posted June 21, 2016
What an episode!!!
Probably the single best episiode of any show I have ever watched.
Is it just me, or is evil-Sansa looking really hot right now.

All I need is for Cersai to get herpes in next weeks episode, and I can die satisfied.


PS- Great Recap, LOVE YOUR WORK.



girlclumsy mutters...

Posted June 21, 2016
Sansa has ALWAYS been hot. But watch your grubby hands, she's still underage! :)

Thank you for your kind words though.

Respond to this thread

thecarrotjoke is gonna tell you...

Posted June 21, 2016
Do you think the extras on set have a guess at how many bodies there are on the battlefield? Like guessing how many jelly beans in the jar?

girlclumsy reckons...

Posted June 21, 2016
Wow, I should totally have done this as a comp in my recap. Not that I know what the answer is, beyond "Holy shit that's a lot of bodies."

Respond to this thread

Timmo swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 21, 2016
Yay! Loved the ep, and your recap, GC!
They seemed at pains early on in the piece to set a couple of themes for the episode:
- "Who'll fight for a master who won't fight for them?" Jon said it, Tyrion said it. Seemingly a counterpoint to Daenerys' defense of the slaves against the masters
- "You're ultimately on your own/You've got the circumstances you've got" from Jon in relation to the army they've got, and Red Woman in relation to the Red God. Ultimately a bit contradicted by the incredibly timely rescue by the Vale forces, though.

Respond to this comment

Sambit reckons...

Posted June 21, 2016
Hi Natalie, there's a request. We've not seen a single limerick of yours this season. So pleaseeee do one limerick for the last episode of this season. Remember you once asked to remind you to write the entire GoT story in limericks! (S05E02 Recap)

Respond to this comment

girlclumsy would have you know...

Posted June 21, 2016
OMG, I totally forgot about my limericks. How about I try to think of one before the live Facebook chat Stu and I are doing around 9pm over on the Facebook page?

www.facebook.com/nataliesthrone

And I still have that bloody Dothraki beat poem to finish...

Respond to this comment

M'lady mutters...

Posted June 21, 2016
Is anyone else a tad worried about how much emphasis Sansa put on the fact that Ramsay's name and house will disappear? It would be just like Game of Thrones to turn around and tell us she is in fact pregnant with his child. Seven hells.

Respond to this comment

Ken Father of Dire Wolves mutters...

Posted June 21, 2016
What's this talk of feeble woman. There were certainly no feeble women in last nights episode, only avenging goddesses.

Fantastic recap, as always. With the inserting of the humour with the blood and the gore and the screaming and the bone crunching.

My long held desire of seeing a dragon scale overcast has finally been realised with the Queen of innumerable names leading her flock into flaming mayhem. I'm sure there's a burgeoning market in Pirate Bay for adult nappies. Oh and a hint of Blonde on Brunette action on a bed of the bodies of their enemies.

Heartbroken to see Stampy fall, but what a death. Commander Worf would make him an honorary Klingon just so they could enjoy Bloodwine in Sto-Vo-Kor together. The blood, the carnage, severed limbs and the clash of steel and flesh on mounting bodies.
Culminating in learning Ramsay Boltons new name of Pulpy McPulpFace as Jon Snow delivered our love and wishes to him in a most satisfactory manner. But really the day was Sansa's looking her tormentor in the face and creating a new pet food empire of Bolton flavoured dog treats, with extra crunch. Is it wrong to take so much pleasure in the horrific and painful rendering of your enemies? Do I need to increase my meds? Nah he deserved it.

Respond to this comment

stara reckons...

Posted June 21, 2016
What a great recap.. "the most violent depiction of a sperm impregnating an egg you’ll ever see" LOL!

Respond to this comment

Moko has opinions thus...

Posted June 21, 2016
I enjoy your recaps as much as the show. Great work once again.

Respond to this comment

Louise would have you know...

Posted June 21, 2016
Hubby can only say oh my god.

Respond to this comment

Heidi reckons...

Posted June 21, 2016
Nat - I've enjoyed each and every one of your recaps. This episode was awesome. After next week's recap, I will so miss them!!!

And now only one to go..... :-(

girlclumsy ducks in to say...

Posted June 22, 2016
Naww, thanks Heidi, I'll miss you too!

Seriously, I love GoT time like nothing on earth.

Respond to this thread

Sparty swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted June 21, 2016
Wun Wun was a hero and they should retire his shirt and number (he was named after NY QB Phil Simms I think).

not trying to hijack thread but its connected - George R R Martin is doing overseas shipping for signed books from his website- including Thrones but also the SM Stirling signed book of change universe set short stories (with a story by Birmo in!)
http://www.jeancocteaubooks.com/bookstore/the-change/

Respond to this comment

she_jedi ducks in to say...

Posted June 21, 2016
There was a moment in the battle when it looked like Tormund would valiantly and stupidly get himself killed, but his wildling buddies pulled him back and saved him, and I screamed at the TV "TORMUND YOU MUST LIVE! YOU MUST LIVE FOR BRIENNE AND HAVE GIANT RED HEADED WARRIOR BABIES TOGETHER!" And it's moments like this I am really really grateful I live alone :)

girlclumsy has opinions thus...

Posted June 22, 2016
Apart from the kittehs, of course. ;)

she_jedi has opinions thus...

Posted June 23, 2016
Oh of course! Thankfully they've gotten used to my random outbursts at GoT and no longer bother to wake up and stare at me strangely :)

Respond to this thread

HoundDog Day puts forth...

Posted June 22, 2016
C'mon Kate Bush, wait 24 hours,
then bring Boo Hiss back to life,
incanting Hounds of Love to make it happen!
'I found a fox
Caught by dogs
He let me take him in my hands.'
Then Sansa can dispose of him again.
And again!

Respond to this comment

Brett Coster (not Waldau, though) reckons...

Posted June 22, 2016
Long-time lurker, love your recaps, sad that next week will be the finale. What an episode, from Meereen to Winterfell, watched it twice so far and will do again. Loved Dracarys in the distance as Dany reminded the masters that it was THEIR surrender they were discussing, and Tyrion's dwarfsplaining to the surviving master that he lived by the grace of the queen and should make sure that everyone hears about it. (The "or else" was implied...) And JonSnow fallng into BOO=HISS's plan. The battle was traumatic, as it should have been. As someone above said, would like to have seen Bolton soldiers beginning to desert as the Knights of the Vale appeared and the result became plain to all. Still, lots to see next week and then the interminable months's long wait for the Blu-ray.

Respond to this comment

Rhino puts forth...

Posted June 24, 2016
OK, so the leader of the burgeoning, nurturing, new world order matriarchy's first political instinct is to raze her enemies cities and salt the earth and yet she later says that they have an obligation to leave the world better than they found it.

Sounds like the matriarchy can speak out two sides of their mouths the same as the patriarchy.

HAVOCK21 reckons...

Posted June 24, 2016
yeah I reckjon the wench is gunna FKN CAP ALL MEN! Actually now that I think about this some more, that trio is seriously fkn jumpable! IMHO

Respond to this thread

BigRed reckons...

Posted June 24, 2016
I'm hoping that in the next episode that an express carrier raven arrives in Mereen with a package for Theon eye-for-an-eye, penis-for-a-penis style. To top it off maybe he could have it reinstated by Salma Hayek, her arrival on the screen drew lifeblood into many a viewers appendage so why not into "Little Theon" (which may need a renaming into "Little BOO HISS Theon" if the magic takes hold). If not her then Qyburn clearly knows a thing or two about reanimating dead things. Unless of course one of the hounds developed a taste for sausage and meatballs...

Respond to this comment

Respond to 'Raven On Game of Thrones Recap S6E9: Battle of the Bastards'

Follow along with RSS