About three weeks ago the depression which had overtaken me while my dad was dying finally lifted. It felt as though grey and leaden clouds parted to let through a few shafts of light, then broke up and drifted away.
It's been a year, I tell you.
For most of it I'd drag myself to my desk every day and try to grind though whatever work was in front of me. As I failed and failed again at that, day after day, the work piled up. I just kept grinding.
I did a lot of short writing this year. The private column was a left handed gift in that way. It forced me to keep writing, twice a week, every week, whether I felt like it or not. And mostly I did not.
Not at all.
I put on a lot of weight. Maybe ten kilos or more. That started in the hospital, eating shitty food for the want of something better to do. It got worse later, as I was eating for comfort and a sense of control.
I had some back problems too, which restricted my ability to exercise. But I kept exercising. Like the writing, it was a grind, but I did recall from my psych degree that regular exercise was as effective for treating mild depression as any medication or therapy.
So this has been a year.
However, as I said, a couple of weeks ago, my mood lifted and I suddenly found I had the energy to write again, and a renewed interest in doing so. My publishers were very understanding, so my first priority is finishing The Cruel Stars for them. I've given myself a deadline of November 24. For those of you who were beta reading, I'll be adding new chapters as they're written, rather than in longer sections. Thanks for your indulgence as well.
The ladies of the family will be travelling for a few weeks from late November, giving me a clear run to do some concentrated work and get in a bit of extra jujitsu training. (Jujitsu was one of the few things I didn't lose enthusiasm for this year. In fact, it kept me sane).
November/December then I'll be writing The Golden Minute, the next of the Smith and Cady time travel books.
I have a couple of other irons in the fire I'll discuss a bit later this week, but I'm pondering what to do here at the Burger too. I let it lie fallow because most days I had enough of a struggle to get any paid writing done. But I'd like to reboot.
I'll probably start modestly. I might even revisit the early journalspace days and just keep things very personal. I have a new puppy, after all. She's good for some posts.