Cheeseburger Gothic

Kids today and their terrible musical choices. I tells ya

Posted April 18, 2018 into Music by John Birmingham

... Although it’s not so much the music as the box it comes out of. I just sat and suffered through some terrible song Thomas was playing on his iPhone speaker as he cleaned up the kitchen.

It might have been punishment for making him clean up the kitchen, but I think probably not. I’ve noticed both kids, and all their friends seem perfectly comfortable playing their music loud though phone speakers that really weren’t meant for broadcast.

They do this even when there’s a nasty cheap ass Echo a few feet away. It would sound a helluva lot better than that tinny phone, but they go the phone.

I didn’t think taking the time to plug into a stand alone speaker, or hook up to a bluetooth box was an old man thing, but apparently it is. Because of my little problem (I can’t stop buying headphones and speakers) we have an embarrassing number of options for play thru all over the house.

But no. Both kids prefer to just flick on the phone and jack up the volume.

Where have I gone wrong?

12 Responses to ‘Kids today and their terrible musical choices. I tells ya’

insomniac asserts...

Posted April 18, 2018
Give up on your own children and wait for them to have children. I'm sure they will think you're cool.

Respond to this comment

Dirk asserts...

Posted April 19, 2018
Well there are a few things at play here:

1. Automation: kids nowadays things happen automatically. It starts with feeding, going to and from school, cleaning of cloths etc.

It goes further with internet connectivity and play back. If it ain’t coming out of the box, it’s ment to not come out of the box. And if the wifi doesn’t kick in, well then their gemoungous 4g datapacket kicks in. Hell is to be payed only when when connectivity is somehow not possible. But that tends to happen with genetically implanted implements.

So you need giving them training and grooming. I recommend Pavlov on that subject and, needs be, jumper cables and a car battery.

2. Medical: the human brain is finished about the 21st year of life. Girls are quicker, boys slower. Girls generally speaking have less interest in music though. And boys learn that porn doesn’t need a soundtrack nor a plausible storyline.

3. When I was young, me only looking at a hifi system, was a precursor for grievous bodily harm administered by my old man. Ok I’m spicing that up a bit: he was a great guy, with a lousy taste in music. For your average CIA blacksite, I recommend the complete works of James Last. The war on terror can be over in 6-12 hours.

So to answer your question: where did you go wrong?, I have to respond with the words of the famous philosopher J. Rabbit: I’m not bad, I’m just drawn this way.

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted April 19, 2018
Tell me more about these jumper cables and car battery. I am interested in these ideas about parenthood and would like to subscribe to your pamphlet.

Dirk is gonna tell you...

Posted April 19, 2018
Well for one the use of jumper cables should be in every curriculum:

Dirk mumbles...

Posted April 19, 2018
This video also teaches the inherent dangers of prolonged inbreeding; making this a worthy educational tool.

Respond to this thread

jason puts forth...

Posted April 19, 2018
I am old, no doubt about it. Old enough to have a good knowledge of music. So now when my girls play a song to me that isn't quite right i delve into the back catalogue of CDs and play them the band who played that song or style first and who played it better. Sadly my girls now like Hall and Oates and I am mad for My Chemical Romance.

Respond to this comment

balri has opinions thus...

Posted April 19, 2018
My 14yo daughter does exactly the same thing. Despite the iPod dock on the stereo six feet away and the nearby Bluetooth Bose speaker

John Birmingham swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 19, 2018
These children will end us.

Respond to this thread

Matthew F. swirls their brandy and claims...

Posted April 19, 2018
Kids aren't *supposed* to be comprehensible to their parents. If they are actually in step with you on everything, then's the time to worry that you're raising young fogeys.

Respond to this comment

Bondiboy66 puts forth...

Posted April 19, 2018
Luckily my youngest tends to use headphones, which has its own issues. His musical tastes vary wildly between death metal, 70s/80s classics, honest to god classics like David Bowie or Led Zep, trashy dance music and Russian Hard the headphones spare me the bits of that list that aren't to my taste. Problem is he is utterly deaf with headphones on and only responds to visual cues or occasional physical cues like a pillow to the head.

Respond to this comment

Rob asserts...

Posted April 19, 2018
My kids , rather weirdly , have been telling me to turn down my music for years. Minstry, too loud, Butthole Surfers, too weird, Sepultura, too metal. 'Can you not play Danzig's Twist of Cain again, for the 100th time on your crappy 200 dollar les Paul knockoff Dad ...'

I showed them though, I made them to go to the pub with me and then proceeded to buy them beers, and then I sang 'The ballad of Chasey Lain ' by the Bloodhound Gang, at Karaoke that night.

Kids these days, I tells ya.

Respond to this comment

Brother PorkChop mutters...

Posted April 23, 2018
Mine use speakers and all 3 have asked for over ear headphones for birthdays etc. I guess this is because the boys listen to classic rock more than anything and genuinely appreciate music. We have rather awesome conversations about music.
The girl has no taste and listens to ever changing popular crap that 10 yo girls listen to and it hurts ALL our ears. The constant refrain is, "Moo, put you headphones on or turn that crap off!" It works.

Respond to this comment

Respond to 'Kids today and their terrible musical choices. I tells ya'

Follow along with RSS