Cheeseburger Gothic

I think I want some turkey

Posted November 21 into Food & Drink by John Birmingham

The internet is often lke a giant tractor spreading enormous tonnages of shit all over the world. And sometimes not. One thing it does do is globalise quirky regionalalisms like poutine or kangaroo scrotum coin purses

The internationalisation of Halloween was surely accelerated by a thousand Buzzfeed listicles. And I have a feeling we're not far away from everyone deciding they want in on America's annual festival of eating too much for Thanksgiving.

Me. I've decided I want some turkey. You don't see it very often on Australian menus. Even duck and goose are more common (and way less likely to be overcooked into a dry, joyless protein cud). But I was reading a Washinton Post bit on how to carve a turkey this morning (don't judge me, I just got off deadline, also the story boasted of an augmented reality bird carving tutorial), and now I just want to eat walking bird.

When you think about it, Thanksgiving is perfectly situated on the calendar for us. It's a few weeks into the summer drinking season, which officially commences a month before summer on Melbourne Cup day, and we like to eat things. Too many things and too much of them.

I'm serious enough about this that I'm thinking about looking for a restaurant which will feed me a bif turkey dinner with all the fixin's, whatever the fuck fixin's are.

6 Responses to ‘I think I want some turkey’

jl reckons...

Posted November 21
What makes the turkey is the stuffing, you have to have righteous stuffing. Baste well and often with butter to prevent dryness. Cranberry is a must. Biscuits (the American hot fluffy ones), gravy, pumpkin pie, sweet corn- those are the fixins.

The best Thanksgiving Day turkey I ever had was cooked over a trash fire overseas. It tasted like burnt plastic. We were getting ready to leave that hellhole, so many thanks were given, and I thought that burnt turkey was great.

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insomniac reckons...

Posted November 21
Thanks to ms insomniac's daughter being over from the US in December but not staying until Christmas Day, we're having pre Christmas Christmas with turkey etc etc plus Christmas with turkey etc etc.
And that is the correct way to carve a turkey, especially the breast. When it's stuffed under the skin, slices like that contain a little bit of everything that is good in the world.

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Leftarc is gonna tell you...

Posted November 21
So you want to talk turkey (I learnt this from The West Wing)

https://www.butterball.com/about-us/turkey-talk-line



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FormerlyKnownAsSimon asserts...

Posted November 22
i sent you a tweet on the back of Chuck Wendig delving into the depths of depraved frontier icecream flavours https://twitter.com/LLah_Nomis/status/1065451763258380288
it may not quite satisfy that turkey craving though

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jason asserts...

Posted November 23
I am fully behind the push for Thanksgiving in Australia. No presents, much drinking, watching sport, showing some gratitude for all we have. Best idea for a holiday ever.

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Spanner ducks in to say...

Posted December 2
A turkey hindquarter. All dark meat. Insert butter under the skin. Part fill roasting pan with water and place hindquarter on rack above water. The water stops the turkey drying out and then the butter and turkey fat drips into the water. Make gravy out of water, butter and turkey fat liquid.

Contact your cardiologist immediately after consumption.

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