Cheeseburger Gothic

Man medicine

Posted May 13 into Food & Drink by John Birmingham

Having brought a terrible southern cold back north of the Rio Grande, there has been only one palliative measure I will contemplate. Hot rum toddies.

Here is my recipe.

Get a big ceramic mug. I mean, really fucking big.

Fill it at least a third of the way up with rum.

Add a teaspoon of real honey, not that shitty Chinese sugar syrup.

Squeeze some lemon juice in there. The fuck if I know how much? I'm not your mother.

Add a cinamon stick. Yes you have to do this. No it won't make you soft. Stop whining and just do it you stupid, fucking homophobe.

Pouring in boiling water. There, manliness restored. Nothing more manly than boiling water, right? Unless it's boiling oil poured on the heads of your enemies, which isn't approriate for this recipe.

Stir.

Destroy that fucking rhinovirus!

11 Responses to ‘Man medicine’

Bondiboy66 mumbles...

Posted May 13
Wish I'd known of this a week ago, being on the tail end of some lurgi. I wonder about the rum vs flu thing though - does the rum burn out the viral infection, or do you just end up plastered and forget about being sick?

John Birmingham asserts...

Posted May 13
Why must you ruin everything with your endless questions?

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Rhino reckons...

Posted May 13
I am forced to point out that calling it a rhinovirus is hate speech.

John Birmingham reckons...

Posted May 13
I am forced to respond that calling out my hate speech makes me uncomfortable and that's not cool.

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Barnesm would have you know...

Posted May 13
I believe the traditional Hot Whisky Toddy is served in glass? Also in the US national Hot Toddy day is January 11. Not sure if it has a date in Australia, so I am fine with May 13.

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insomniac ducks in to say...

Posted May 13
I leave out the rum and the cinnamon, perhaps because the manly:girly ratio is 1, and go hard on the lemon juice, which works for me.

Bondiboy66 mumbles...

Posted May 13
Pfft - as I learned from my father, leave out everything but the OP Rum! Also, refer to my earlier post....

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she_jedi mutters...

Posted May 13
I am bookmarking this for when I am inevitably brought low by some plague rat who thinks it's acceptable to come to work with their sniffle and spew their germs everywhere.

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jason mumbles...

Posted May 14
Is this how Conan shakes a cold?

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Dirk is gonna tell you...

Posted May 14
Swap the Rum out for this and you have a winner.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beerenburg

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NBlob would have you know...

Posted May 18
Democracy and stuff, but how do we introduce mandatory, instant & appeal free quarantine for these vectors that insist on stinking up the place?
I'm a humane and gentle man, I don't want punitive conditions, just a cattle-truck with an articulated arm to snatch the snufflers and snotty from public spaces.

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