Cheeseburger Gothic

Dear Santa

Posted December 24 into Blunty by John Birmingham

I'm not allowed to write about politics for Ninefax anymore, but occasionally I sneak one through.

Dear Santa,

I know this is a bit late, Big Fella, and that you’ve been busy with the toy factory that fell into the mile-deep crevice when the polar ice sheet melted underneath it, but I’m really hoping you’ll bring some of that jingle-bell magic to the job this year, because we need it.

Our exhausted heroes could use a little Christmas cheer.
Our exhausted heroes could use a little Christmas cheer.Brett Hemmings/Getty
I have a list of things we need you to pack into the sleigh, and sorry, but it is a long list. Before you go getting your own list out and adding me to the naughty column for being so greedy, I should point out that none of this is for me. Or not directly.

First up we need about 20,000 bright-orange coveralls. It’s for some friends. They’ve been wearing theirs for more than a month now because they only had one set to begin with, and, while you’ve been rescuing elves and reindeer from that disintegrating glacier, they’ve been trying to save the world...

At Blunty.

1 Responses to ‘Dear Santa’

Halwes puts forth...

Posted December 24
Not allowed to write about politics for ninefax anymore? Since the nine takeover of the Sydney Morning Herald? All the best to you and yours for the Christmas break John. There is still a bed and boat in Gove for you if you ever make it to Arnhem Land. Don't come for at least 6 months though. It is punishingly hot like I've never seen it and not even a trace of any rain yet. Record temperatures forecast again tomorrow. Thanks and best wishes to the people on Cheeseburger. You never fail to amuse and inform me. Dave

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